WEBVTT - Strategy (with Amanda Sitko) 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.920 Portions of This American Laugh with Aristotle Attari and Andy Harris. 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:07.280 The improvised documentary podcast are brought to you by listeners 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:10.719 like yourself, are esteemed sponsors, and the all powerful, all 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:14.319 knowing Random Sentence Generator, which inspires the stories you're about 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:18.720 to hear. Yes, whenever you hear this sound, the next 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.400 sentence you hear is a random sentence provided by our 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:25.439 revered omnipotent Random Sentence Generator or more This American Laugh. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.640 Listened to more episodes of This American Laugh. I guess 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:34.040 and now your first random sentence. He played the game 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:37.320 as if his life depended on it, and the truth was, 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:46.000 and it did. It's kind of a rich man poor 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.280 man's game, a little bit like Hard Target with John 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:51.960 glad pan Damn, where he had to survive as a 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:54.360 rich man hunted him. But this was a different kind 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:57.120 of game. This was more of a corporate style hunting game. 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:59.520 I've brought you here today to see if you would 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:04.360 like to buy thirty seconds worth of advertising time on 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:08.759 late night TV, and we think your company would benefit 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:13.560 from it. Okay, yeah, okay, okay, guys, I like yourself, 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:16.399 I'm gonna ask you a question flat out, Are you 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:19.679 guys on coke? No? Well, no, no, no, do you 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:24.479 have coke while you're asking? Or or what can I ask? 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.120 Do you have coke? And that's why I'm asking. The 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:31.720 answer is no, we are not on coke right this second, 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:35.560 the second. Okay, Yes, we work hard. We play hard 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:39.400 at Peco. Okay, okay, work hard, play hard. Hard. Let's 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:42.600 not get into those lawsuits. So what I'm saying is, 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:45.920 if you guys want to run with the big dogs, yeah, 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:48.840 you got to bring the big dog food. Okay, Okay, 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.200 we can offer you the afternoon day part now because 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:57.360 it's late night TV. Fuck heyck blow blowing it. He's 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.520 trying to tell something. What I'm saying is is if 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:03.200 I go to the bathroom right now and I come 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:06.040 back and there's cocaine on this table, we've got a deal. 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:09.160 Oh ship, that's a good thing. Okay, I'm sorry. I 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.200 think I'm trying to be extremely clear. Let me be 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:17.200 explicitly clear here. I like cocaine. If you bring me cocaine, 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:23.200 we will work together. Okay. So what you're saying is 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:25.720 if we if we take the contracts and we we 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:31.280 roll them, then you'll get then you'll du what is it? 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:35.079 I'm not No, it's not a metaphor. Guys. Listen, I'm 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:37.919 going to walk out that door. I'm gonna go take 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:44.440 a piss. Hey guys, Hey guys, Hey guys. We don't 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.760 play by the same rules everyone else does. All right, 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:51.679 we're Petco. We make the rules. So what I want 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:55.480 you guys to do is produce a little cocaine on 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.760 this table so I can have a good time. We 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:02.359 can sign some paper work whatever y'all need, and we'll 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:06.600 work together. Okay, I think we got it figured out. Okay, okay, 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:10.240 all right, do you need me to leave back there 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:12.480 to the letter right, I'll be back. Okay, it takes 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:15.600 me a good five minutes to five minutes, alright, circle 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:19.600 back and five. You know, what the fun is she 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:22.359 talking about? How do you have cocaine? I'm having trouble 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:25.080 understanding what it is that she wants. She wants me 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:27.760 to put my cocaine on the on the table, the 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:33.040 table representing the overall deal that is ped Co airing 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:38.240 spots on. Yeah, we've got it figured We've got a 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:41.080 handle on it. What what's gonna happen next? Yeah? This 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.320 table is empty, so that tells me one of two things. 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:48.360 One you don't have cocaine or too you guys like 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:51.120 to go harder. You guys got something else, some sweeter 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:55.920 for me? Yeah, what do you mean, something bent at all? 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:59.720 Or you guys, you guys really funk around. Yeah, I'd 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:02.560 like all H is essentially lays the fence at all 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:04.160 this point. I mean, it's like, let's just be clear, 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:07.119 we're basically all doing fent and all know what's doing heroin? Anymore? Hard? 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.360 Is the H? Like? Is that stand for high high 0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:17.200 volume for heroin? Yeah? Alright, I get this. You guys 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:19.960 play hard. I like you guys. I like you guys. 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.479 All right, you guys you know how to make a 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:26.599 girl dance. I'm gonna go take another little piss and 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:29.800 when I come back, there better be something even harder 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:32.560 on this table. All right, all right? You know what 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:36.719 I don't know that I have cocaine H, which technically 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:39.000 is spent and all if you test it because it's 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.760 all laced with fenton. Oh, now you're on board. Well 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.359 before you're like is this a metaphor? Now you know 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:46.800 what's going on. We gotta put on the table if 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:48.360 we wanted to get her to sign a contract. It's 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.800 pretty easy with the table ripped, and I don't know 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:58.240 my my table represents glemen, my got this table is empty. 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:01.239 You come back, you shoon, And that's the that's the problem, 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.200 you know. Oh my god, you guys are blowing my mind. 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:06.480 I thought I've done some of the craziest things. But 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:10.040 if you guys want to play even harder, how about this. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.320 I want to hunt a man. I want a squid 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:15.120 game a bit, all right, can we make that happen? 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:18.200 Let me talk to my pardner. Here's all right, you guys, 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:23.240 I'm gonna go take one more piss. Are you sure? Oh? 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:25.680 You're getting me excited? You get me excited? All right, 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.760 I'm sure of anything. So, just like the hunted man 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:32.279 represent the target audience for the pet co, she's giving 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:34.400 us a blueprint how to get this deal signed. So 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:38.440 we gotta find fucking schmo who doesn't know anything and 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:41.960 then put them up to fucking be hunted by her. Hi. 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:45.000 Here is this the focus group for the advertising? Yeah? 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:51.200 I'm really excited. Are you gonna give me the now after? 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.720 How about this before we go in? Because it is 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.039 a focus group, I'm gonna need you to give me 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.720 your phone on your wallet. Oh, also, do you have 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:03.200 any family? Yeah, I have two daughters and are the 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:06.080 new wife. I just got married. Okay, um, if it 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:08.039 will probably best is just if we get your phone, 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:11.640 your I d okay? Any cash you might have on you? Wow? 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:14.800 Could you write down your family's names for us? And 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:16.440 this is for twenty five dollars. I will get the 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:19.520 twenty five. Yeah, and it's going to be in cash. 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:21.360 It will be in cash, so don't worry about any 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:25.200 like and five easy okay? Or we could do two 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:28.200 tens and of five five five, any denomination you want, 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.920 you do one? And then do you have any identifiable 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.120 and build work. We should probably a little bit tattoos. 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:35.800 I have a crown and uh I still have one 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:40.479 of my baby teeth. Interesting information for just focus group. 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:42.719 Any tattoos, anything that would be on your body that 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:45.080 you've added or augmented. Yeah, I have a tattoo on 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:47.120 my forearm that has my social Security number on it. 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:50.240 We take a phone, yes, and you will be giving 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:53.040 me the twenty Yeah. Hey man, I'll give it to 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:55.560 you in quarters if you want. That's pretty good. Yeah, okay, 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:58.880 it's a hundred quarters right, I don't know, times four, 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.480 that's a hundred. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:04.760 of I knew that mess. Wow, do a lot of 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:08.080 laundry with that machine. Are you going to be asking 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:12.640 me any questions? This is a focus group, is yeah. 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:13.760 And so you're going to work with us for a 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:16.760 little bit, and then you're going to get into that van. 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:19.720 It's parked in front. And I said, where you watch 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.720 the dogs groom the dogs in the van? We sometimes 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:26.080 do you well well grooming. That's true, that's that's cool. Yeah, cool, 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:29.880 So just take off your shoes and socks for us, please, okay, right, 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:32.960 and then um, okay, then just go ahead and get 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:34.120 in the vand and the van will take you to 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:38.480 more questions. Yeah, I don't know. Way, that's so funny. No, yeah, 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:41.559 it'll take you to more questions. Okay, great, So thanks, 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:44.200 you're going to know, is that right? Of course? Of course, 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:46.960 at the very end of the all the questions after 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:55.160 that test is completely crocked. You will have okay by what? No? No, 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.640 all right, we got your guy nice smokes a tattoo 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:02.400 of his own source security number in his arm. Wanted 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:05.120 more on love it? Okay, So so you want to 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.040 do this, you want to do bone arrow style, you 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:10.600 want to just I'm gonna do a crossbow? Sweet? Yeah, 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.360 So quick question. He has no idea where he's going around. 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:14.880 I just want to make sure that this man isn't 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:17.280 aware that I'm about to sneak up and kill him. Look, 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:20.440 we just hired this focus properm to like buying us 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:23.440 a dude, and oddly enough, we told him exactly what 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:29.560 it was for. They said, Yeah, let's fucking party. Hey, hey, hey, 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:34.079 you guys. To you, I'm making you guys the official 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:48.160 advertisers of Peco hold account. I just want more? Is 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:51.080 this American laugh? I mean honest? All in Producer Andy 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:54.360 guest contributor for this episode is the man to said 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:58.040 co show. We'll be using our trustee sentence generator to 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:00.960 bring you a story in three improve I dec this 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:04.559 week's team strategy. It's important to have one. If you don't, 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:06.760 sometimes you need to make one up on the fly, 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:21.400 right there on the spot. Let stay with us at one. 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:28.240 She wrote him a long letter, but he didn't read it. 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.880 It was a letter she wrote, is the therapeutic more 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:33.920 of a cathartic? Things she did and I cope, a 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:37.120 lot of problems sent it to him, but you just 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:39.360 never read it, or maybe he did. I just didn't 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:41.640 tell her. He read it pretty hungry for tonight? I 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:44.719 guess mac and cheese. Dada. Nobody asked me why I 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.560 want it? Elizabeth? What do you want for dinner tonight? No? No, no, 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:49.920 what is your daughter? One? I think that's what do 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:54.000 you want? Honey? And Elizabeth? And I guess it's mac 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:58.560 and cheese? Right again? Yeah? So sweet? Do you want 0:09:58.559 --> 0:09:59.720 me to put the milk in it? Or do you 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:01.920 want just the butter? I like it when it's just 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:05.680 the butter, just a splash a bill. It's good. I mean, 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:07.560 it's what the instructions say. I feel like we should 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:11.680 go with work rap. Okay, what's what's the problem? Know nothing, 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:14.400 I just us just blow it out my ask because 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:17.360 I'm lactose intolerant, as you know, because you're my husband, 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:22.640 and um this my stepdaughter, sweetheart? Can you can you 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:26.040 give your stepmother night some? I prefer Elizabeth? Please? Is 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:30.600 it a stepmother part that's that's upsetting you? Still? Yeah? Still? Still, 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:35.600 it's been like two months or something, Dad like, it's weird. Well, 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:37.640 it wasn't very weird for us. Well, I'm going to 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:41.400 go I'm just saying that, okay, Sorry, no go no, no, 0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:43.920 you want to every time I say something, you try 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:46.160 to say something, Sweetie, I'm just gonna go ahead and 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:48.280 set the microwave, and then if you could just just 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:50.480 watch it and just make sure that there's no problems 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.920 with the microwave. Maybe what's wrong? What is it? What 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:56.000 do you mean what's wrong? I just was very open 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:58.840 about what's wrong. When when I said what was wrong 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:01.679 earlier about the up at the macaroni, did I not 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:05.240 give you the tone that lets you know that I'm 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:07.959 a pretty perceptive guy. But just having to constantly read 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.840 between the lines with you, it's a little bit tough. Okay, 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:13.280 I'm trying to keep the piece here. It's only been 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:16.480 a couple of months. My daughter here, she's still clearly 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:20.000 having some some trouble adjusting to this new life. If 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:21.560 you could do me a favor and we could just 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:24.480 kind of keep the pizza here, you know what, how's 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:28.400 it going over there, sweetheart with the microwave? Microwave is fine? Dad, 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.240 Do you mind if Elizabeth and I have a little 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:34.400 conversation my wife? Yes, yeah, your wife. Okay, yes, Elizabeth, 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.079 I'm gonna go watch the microwave ahead. What you want 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.600 to talk about girl stuff? No, I just want to 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:41.520 let you know that I'm keeping a list of what 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:44.280 every time that you anger my dad. I don't think 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:46.480 I anger him. You don't think you anger my dad. 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:48.600 I think I bring a lot of joy to his life. 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.520 If I didn't, do you think he might not have 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:52.680 put this on my finger. I think what you don't 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:55.920 understand is that my father is actually just a child. 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:58.520 He needed a woman who could run a house. He 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.480 was drowning before he met. Sounds like maybe you're running 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:03.240 the house a little more than I am because we've 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.840 had macaroni and cheese for two weeks now. Don't you think? 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:10.360 How are my girls doing? You guys working it out? Yeah? Yeah, 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:12.880 I think things are great. Good, Okay, we got them 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:14.719 progress to you give us maybe five more minutes he 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:17.120 minus thirty seconds with that mac and cheese. But you 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.800 know what yeah, yeah, yea, yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.880 I bet it's yeah. Okay, go yeah, We're gonna have 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:27.200 mac and cheese every day until I'm satisfied. Okay, Oh 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:29.760 maybe sometimes your mac and cheese taste a little different. 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:32.680 Maybe one day you're not gonna want mac and cheese. 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:34.640 What are you gonna do to it? Just that some 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.719 flavor flavor that's wrong with that? Are you insinuating that 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:40.920 I would do something wrong? Are you insinuating you're gonna 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.920 like pissing my mac and cheese? First of all, that's 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:46.800 a very sophomoric thing to do to someone's mac and cheese, 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.040 to piss in their maga cheese. I think you'd taste that. 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:50.719 I think what I would do is very special, and 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.680 I wouldn't say that the silly would taste it. Try me. 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.240 Let's just eat tonight, just see how this night goes. Sweetheart, 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:01.559 my wife, would you like to say grace months? Yes? Absolutely? 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:04.640 Do you want to hold my hand with pleasure? I'll 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:08.679 put mine in prayer position? We can still hold hand? Yes, 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:13.480 we can? Okay? That tickles, Okay, prayer position is all right. 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:19.679 Dear Lord, thank you for this mac and cheese. Thank 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.679 you for just this roof over our heads. Thank you 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:27.960 for this wonderful husband's caring and loving and not upset. 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:32.000 I don't upset you. I think I'm okay for now. Yeah, 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.320 why do I seem with you, you wouldn't be upset 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.480 about anything I did. But I think I'm okay, and 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:42.520 thank you for this lovely, young, blossoming young lady who's 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:46.640 in our home, in our home, and uh is growing 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:50.000 up before my very eyes. And I'm very thankful for 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:54.920 that opportunity to see her grow into something that's very 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:57.640 beautiful until the end. Okay, it's getting cold, all right, 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:02.200 sounds really great, wasn't Wasn'tizabeth your my my? What? You're 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:07.040 the woman who married me, and who is I mean 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:12.079 technically assumes the role of stepparent to you whenever you're 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:16.480 comfortable enough calling her that. It wasn't that great with 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:19.480 Elizabeth did just now? I guess I like my prayer 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:22.480 a little more. Okay, Okay, some poetic, I guess, but 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:24.360 that's what I thought. You're gonna say, mac and cheese. 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:27.080 I'm sorry. I really a little more cheesy, maybe with 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:33.400 the Macaronian. Okay, I think Elizabeth should take the first bite. Okay, 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:36.280 you didn't want to add anything to the to the grace, 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:40.600 so you're happy with what she did. I am thinking 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.320 it's fine. It's fine. One. We're all getting closer. I 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:47.000 can feel it. Okay, I am going to uh. I 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:48.680 think maybe I'll take the first bite. You should I 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:49.920 take the first bite. You want her to take the 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:51.840 first bite. I think that's interesting. You want me to 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:53.480 take the she takes the first You know what, I 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:55.960 think it would be a nice sign of solidarity for 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:58.000 Elizabeth to take the first bite if she really does 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:00.560 want to join this family. Technically she has already join 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.840 this family because she's This is a good point, I 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:08.960 would say legally. And I'm a little full, you know what, umath, 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.080 just take a bite of head please, and this hell 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:17.480 is my life. That's good. Good, It's really good. It's 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:21.520 really good. Okay, yeah, that's really good. I like it. 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:24.920 Taste it tasted your turn, Yeah, taste. I think we 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:28.880 have this little lazy Susan table. Yeah you think you okay? 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:36.040 M m m yeah. Why is it metaller? I don't know. 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:40.480 I just followed the instructions of the box. It tastes metallic? Metallic? 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:43.640 What does that mean? Metallic? These kids are crazy metallic? 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:46.040 You mean like metallica or something, or you know, it 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:51.200 tastes metallic, tastes like metal? No, Dad, are you implying 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:56.720 that you're step what that you're my wife did something 0:15:56.760 --> 0:16:00.360 to the n It was very clear that the mom 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:05.520 was slowly poisoning the child. Stepmother, stepmother, Sorry, my producer, Andy, 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:10.720 I mean, yes, I just wanted to slowly poisoning the child, 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.960 but not a moon chaws and style, more like I 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.960 get out of my waystyle. Let's go back to see 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:20.600 what we have to Dad, ask you a question. He's 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:23.080 a little personal, but I don't feel comfortable talking to Elisabeth. 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:27.440 I'm fifteen now, shouldn't I have gotten a period? You 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:29.640 should be developing a little bit faster than you are 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:33.240 right now. And you should remember you did have a 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:36.040 full head of hair this time last Thanksgiving. Yeah, but 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:39.080 I'm sure that's just you know, it's just nature. I mean, 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:41.480 I suppose, I don't think so. Dad. You said he'd 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:43.960 go to the local physician see what was going on. 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.600 All right, I'm looking over your daughters. That your daughter. 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:53.520 Stop stop stop stop, I'm his daughter. I'm his daughter. Yeah, 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:57.080 this is my daughter and it's your step daughter. Am 0:16:57.080 --> 0:17:02.000 I reading this other? Sorry? You call that woman Elizabeth 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:07.680 my daughter? Your daughter? So I a quick question. She 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:12.680 been ingesting and unusually high mac and cheese. That's just 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:16.240 every day. That's all she wants. It's mac and cheese. Okay. 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:20.400 Because I'm this panel, there's a high concentration of acadmium 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:26.680 and it's aum element the periodic table aluminiums a lot 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:30.640 of aluminium in her blood. Are you doing drunks? I'm 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.119 not even close to being finished listing the medals that 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.760 I'm not doing. She's doing more medals? Oh my god? 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:41.680 Can you help me get emancipated? Please? Well, at first 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:43.800 I'd like to do a little bit more investing. Maybe here, 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:46.679 here's some mac and trees. Doctor. Can I talk to 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:49.760 talk to my husband for a quick minute. Yes, honey, 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:52.720 I'm telling you I think she's doing drunks. I think 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:55.399 a boarding schoolould be appropriate for her. I think if 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.159 she goes right there, I'm telling you it's going to 0:17:58.200 --> 0:17:59.959 be boarding school or the State's going to board her 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:01.800 in one of their own facilities. I think you know 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:03.960 what I'm talking about. Can I take her aside? Real quick? 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:08.160 Take her my daughter? I can come with you, would 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:11.199 you mind could be a little bit more, you know, 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.280 get more done having remind you guys, want me to 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:17.640 just hang back outside until you figure it out? Or 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.359 do you want me to doctor. Can I just have 0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:23.800 a moment alone with my father? Okay, yes, lecture, fine, 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:26.520 I'll be I'll be out here looking over my notes 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:30.120 because a lot of notes, a lot of medals. There's 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:33.639 quite some time, I actually, Dad, Yes, she's trying to 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:37.400 kill me. The nurse no, Elizabeth, Dad? Do you think 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:41.560 the nurse's name is Elizabeth? Elizabeth? Who you your wife? Dad? 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:45.200 My wife? You're trying to trick me into sting stepmother 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:51.120 right now? Dad? Come on, she is trying to kill me. Okay, Dad, 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:52.679 But I want to tell you something. Yes, I know 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:54.919 she's trying to send me to boarding school. Have you 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:57.520 ever read the play of the Visit? Do you understand revenge? 0:18:57.800 --> 0:18:59.920 Have I read the play The Visitor? Seen the play 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:04.119 Bring the Red? Or the plot? Dad? Dude? Well the 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:06.879 answers to both is now? Okay? Well, I just know 0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:10.359 that if I go away, I'm only coming back stronger. Okay. 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.919 I guess it's win win for everybody. Because my wife 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:16.200 is rid of you. You become stronger, you come back, 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:18.760 and then you start calling her your stepmother. Dad. I 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:20.359 just I want you to know that I love you, 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:24.040 and no matter what happens, you know that. Okay, okay, 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:29.119 then we are some at school and then became a 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:31.479 doctor where I'm bam, I'm a doctor. Are you? Are 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:35.720 you in here now or not enough time? Okay, all right, 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:41.120 just for medical we are whatever you want your hand, 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:44.640 I'm sorry, we have to go for it. So what's 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:46.080 going on? I guess we're going to send it a 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:51.560 boarding school? Yea, welcome to the same thing, Nat. She 0:19:51.800 --> 0:19:56.040 is boarding school for troubled young ladies who are not 0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:59.480 willing to accept the fact that their father has remarried, 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:06.960 also unwilling to all right, all right now name please, Hi, 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:11.120 I'm Samantha. So I'm Samantha. Do you have any allergies? 0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:16.480 Maybe two side dishes or metals? Not that I know. Well, 0:20:16.560 --> 0:20:18.240 I will say this. My hair is falling out. I 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:21.720 haven't gotten a period and there's something growing out of 0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:26.280 my side. I don't understand a positive to what was that? Nothing? 0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:30.960 I can? Can I ask you a question? Yes, why 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:34.719 is there a mail that's allowed in this email? Boarding school? 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:37.840 It's unclear? Okay, Well, sister Kathleen, I just want to 0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:40.880 make sure that I'm rooming with a girl, just because 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:43.800 Keith is coming on a little strong noted, would you 0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:48.119 mind terribly. If I sideboard with Keith for just a moment, 0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:52.200 will straighten all this out? Keith, she doesn't seem into 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:54.480 it all right, Well you know, I'm just I think 0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:56.280 you might be wrong. But she's throwing you all the 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:58.080 signals that she doesn't really love it. So here's what 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.199 we're gonna do. She's throwing me all right to but 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:02.399 that's just me. I don't know because she remedy that 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:07.520 she did that with her one strand of hair. Just 0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:09.320 just try to just hang back a little bit. Then 0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:11.479 the litter. She does have a legitimate question. How are 0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:13.760 we going to answer that? Why am I here? Okay, 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:20.040 I'll make something up. Hi, Hi, I am back? Okay, 0:21:20.119 --> 0:21:24.880 So I I sideboard with Keith, and actually turns out 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:29.480 that Keith is a you know how installs they have 0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:35.000 secret chaps, right, he's like one of those. He is 0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:40.560 like he's here for lost prevention. Well, I mean he's 0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:44.840 like auditing the facility. Okay, he wasn't supposed to blow 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:48.200 his cover that early, and he is a can I suggest, male, 0:21:48.240 --> 0:21:50.280 I don't. I don't mean to overstep my bound or 0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:52.520 if you want them to audit this, I feel like 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:55.919 maybe a wig? Yes, two people. He need wigs that 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:58.880 we can all agree. No, I have a medical condition. 0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:02.399 Al right, I thought it was punk rock, Keith, let's not. 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:05.280 What did we say about harassing and insulting the other? 0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:07.840 Don't do it while you're around? Yet, No, don't do 0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:11.919 it while you're around. They do not do it? Okay, 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:14.600 all right, So so what are we going to do 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:17.800 to help you work on yourself? Honestly, I think I 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:20.160 don't need to work on myself. I'm pretty sure that 0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:22.720 the reason I'm here is because the woman who married 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:25.600 my dad is a bitch, and she's been slowly trying 0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:28.920 to force me out, and I think a little time 0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:31.560 alone with her my dad's going to realize how bad 0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:35.280 she really is. I'm in a similar situation. My my 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:38.919 mom and my dad don't want me. Okay, we know 0:22:38.960 --> 0:22:42.159 that this isn't true. We were established. I write letters 0:22:42.320 --> 0:22:46.880 adding every day you do. Yeah, it's actually kind of sweet, Keith. Yeah. 0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:49.320 I never sent it to them, but I write them. 0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:51.720