1 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly 2 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small 3 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions 4 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or 6 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope 8 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it 9 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship 10 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so 11 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: much for joining me for session tift two of the 12 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girl's podcast. We'll get right into the 13 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: episode after we're from our sponsors. What is your version 14 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 1: of happy? Sure, we don't all have the same things 15 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: in mind, but we do have something in mind when 16 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 1: we think of personal happiness. Joining me today to discuss 17 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: how we work towards obtaining our vision of happiness is 18 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: Rosetta Thurman, the founder of Happy black Woman, a personal 19 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: coaching business she founded to teach black women how to 20 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: manifest the life and business of their dreams. Rosetta and 21 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: I chatted about how happiness is not about having stuff, 22 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: but instead about doing this stuff that you care the 23 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: most about. From her minimalist journey, she shares how minimalism 24 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: amplifies what we deem the most important and how a 25 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: minimalist approach to life can lead us accomplishing dreams we 26 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: never thought we'd see in this lifetime. If there's something 27 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: that resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share 28 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: with us on social media using the hashtag tv G 29 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: in Session, or join us over in the sister circles 30 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: to talk more in depth about the episode. You can 31 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: join us at Community not Therapy for Black Girls dot com. 32 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining me today, Rosetta. 33 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. I have been a fan 34 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: for a long time because so many of my clients 35 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: are fans of yours. Well, thank you. I'm very happy 36 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: to hear then. I'm sure they would be excited to 37 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: hear you chatting. So shout out to all of Rosetta's clients. 38 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:43,839 Speaker 1: So we're here today Rosetta to talk primarily about minimalism. 39 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: So can you tell me, like at its core, what 40 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: do we mean when we are talking about minimalism. When 41 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: we're talking about minimalism, we're essentially talking about the art 42 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: of living with less. And how did you get into 43 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: minimalism And is there like a specific instance that happened 44 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,959 Speaker 1: that led you to minimalism. Yes. In fact, I always 45 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: say that I came to minimalism in a very practical way. 46 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 1: I had a very practical reason for becoming a minimalist. 47 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: I did not know it was a movement. I did 48 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: not know it was a lifestyle that people took on 49 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: and wrote books about. It was two thousand and eleven. 50 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: I had quit my job the year before, and I 51 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: needed to save some money. I needed to save some money, 52 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: and what I realized was that having an apartment near 53 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: the Metro and Washington, d C. When you don't have 54 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: a job anymore, it's a big expense. And it was 55 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: really to reduce living expenses. So my goal was to 56 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: get rid of things so that I can actually downsize 57 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: my living situation, which would get me to a lower 58 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: cost of living. So my reason was very practical. So 59 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: I just tell people I became a minimalist in two 60 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: thousand eleven to save money. But over the years of 61 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: what I got from it was a different mindset about 62 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: living with less. Oh, I would love to hear you 63 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: say more about that, Like what kinds of life changes 64 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: or things have opened up for you after adopting a 65 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: minimalist lifestyle. Oh, my gosh, so many things. One of 66 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: the biggest reasons why people say that they can't do things, 67 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: especially as black women, we want to do a lot 68 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 1: of things but a lot of reasons why we can't 69 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: do them is number one because of money and because 70 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: of other responsibilities. Money is by far the biggest thing 71 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: that my clients come to me with that happy black 72 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: woman is why they can't do what they want to do. 73 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 1: They can't start the business, they can't travel, they can't 74 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,039 Speaker 1: take on a hobby they wanted to do, or do 75 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: something they've always wanted to do their entire life, write 76 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: a book, travel the world, become a dancer. I don't 77 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,599 Speaker 1: know whatever it is, but it's like, well, if only 78 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: I had the money, if only I had the time, 79 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,280 Speaker 1: if only I had it up. And what I'll say 80 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: is that me being intentional about what my goals were, 81 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: which was to build my business and travel. I knew 82 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: I needed more money for that, And some people say, well, 83 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: if I don't have the money, I can't do it. 84 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 1: But what if you could save money so that you 85 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: can do it? So travel costs money, right, I did 86 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: not make more money. What I did was cut my 87 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: living expenses in half, which allowed me to travel. Yeah. 88 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: So I think when we think about minimalism, at least I, 89 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: and I'm sure I speak for lots of other people, 90 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: I think about like just getting rid of a bunch 91 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: of stuff, right, like a spring cleaning, which feels very 92 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: timely right now we're kind of entering into spring. But 93 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 1: you're also talking about cutting expenses in other ways, right, 94 00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: So maybe I don't need the highest cable package, or 95 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 1: maybe I don't need all of these streaming services. So 96 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: what are some of the other common misconceptions about minimalism. Well, 97 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,840 Speaker 1: it's kind of what you just said, was that minimalism 98 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 1: there's different stages, and I'll talk about the different stages. 99 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: It's three different stages that I know can categorize it in. 100 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: Now that I've talked to so many women about this 101 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: contint up, especially when I was starting to do what 102 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: people are like, Oh my gosh, is she really going 103 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: to get rid of her stuff? Well, yes, but that's 104 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: not just what minimalism is about is getting rid of everything. 105 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: So for me, I went all the way to the 106 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: third stage. So the three stages of minimalism are in 107 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: Each one is more involved than the last one. So 108 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: the first one is deep cleaning. Minimalism is not just 109 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: getting rid of everything. It could be really deep cleaning 110 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 1: and spring cleaning essentially to take stock of what do 111 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: you have and what still needs to be there and 112 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,359 Speaker 1: from a goal oriented perspective. For me, if you have 113 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 1: a goal that you want to reach this year, does 114 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: everything in your space still fit that? Right? So are 115 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 1: there some things that are easy for you to get 116 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: rid of? That's like the lowest level the deep cleaning. 117 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: The spring cleaning is just throwing out clothes. That's like 118 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: the deep cleaning level, throwing out things that don't fit 119 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:57,279 Speaker 1: anymore right, selling them. So there is a way that 120 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,920 Speaker 1: you can make money from it. So I didn't make 121 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: some money from throwing out and things. Also, so when 122 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,799 Speaker 1: I became a minimalist, I got rid of my apartment 123 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: and I started being a roommate. And some people like, oh, 124 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: I would never do that. You would never do it 125 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: just to do it. I wasn't doing it just to 126 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: do it, But you would do it if you had 127 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: a strong desire to see the world like I did, 128 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: to cut half of your living expenses, right, So that 129 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: would be what I would look at. Why are you 130 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: doing that? Right? I sold some of my furniture, which 131 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: gave me some money. What was I going to use 132 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: the money for to travel? Well, I can't get rid 133 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: of my stuff. If you had a big enough why 134 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: you could? That was my why at the first level. 135 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 1: The second level is the de clutter. So actually some 136 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: people when they do screen cleaning, you'll see them put 137 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: out one or two or three bags of stuff. The 138 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: de clutter level is going through your whole home, your 139 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: entire house, and looking at what needs to go from 140 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: a big perspective. For instance, I had a couch I 141 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 1: never sat on. You know, back in the day, we 142 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: had the couch that couldn't nobody sit on that Grandma 143 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: kept the plastic on, Like I won't ready think about this, 144 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: Like listen to the podcast. How much do you think 145 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: that couch was worth? But nobody ever sat on it. 146 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: It could have been sold, it never could have been 147 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: bought in the first place, and that money could have 148 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: been saved. What was the purpose of the couch with 149 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: the plastic. It was just a show piece. Yeah, but 150 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: how many of us in our lives we perpetuate that 151 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: in our homes. So I've had clients put out entire furniture, 152 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: things that they bought for their kids back in the days. 153 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: I had a client who had furniture filling up an 154 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: entire second bedroom from her kids, stuff that she kept 155 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 1: from them, sentimental things. So when she went past just 156 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: putting out old clothes and actually went to decluttering, she 157 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: was like, I don't need anything in this room, which 158 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: leads to do I really need a two bedroom? It's 159 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: just me kids are out of the house, they really 160 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 1: need two bedroom or kind of have a one bedroom 161 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: and save a lot of money. She downsized, which is 162 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: the third stage. And that's what a lot of people 163 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: think minimalism is. But there's different stages. You don't have 164 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: to go to the downside stage, but a lot of 165 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,559 Speaker 1: my clients do because they see the light. It's like, well, 166 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 1: if I got rid of everything in the second bedroom 167 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: that is junk or things that I don't need anymore, 168 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: based on the goals that I have right now, my 169 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: mortgage could go from three thousand or from two thousand 170 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 1: to a thousand. So downsizing is actually changing your living 171 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 1: environment based on the goals that you have. And so 172 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: what are some of the things and you've already kind of, 173 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: you know, led onto some of this. What are some 174 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: of the things that can turn people away from minimalism? 175 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: What makes it feel so unattainable for some feelings of loss? 176 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 1: And I know as a therapist you can explain this 177 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: better than me of how big that is for people. 178 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: It's feeling like you're losing something and believe it or not, 179 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: the hardest thing for me to get rid of. When 180 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 1: I downsized and I got rid of my apartment in 181 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: d C. And I started rooming with people, I didn't 182 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 1: cry about my couch. I didn't cry about my bed. 183 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 1: I didn't cry about all my clothes that I got 184 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: rid of, my shoes. I actually downsized to the point 185 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: where all my clothes could fit into a suitcase, and 186 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 1: all of the stuff I needed to work a fit 187 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 1: in my backpack. So I had my laptop in there, 188 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: my note book. Everything that I owned fit into a 189 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: suitcase and a backpack. But what hurt my heart was 190 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:12,839 Speaker 1: getting rid of my books. Right I had over two 191 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: hundred books curated. It was like the essence of my 192 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 1: education and my favorite authors and everything. Like. It wasn't 193 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: hard for me to get rid of my clothes, but 194 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: my books, I was like, I've got to get rid 195 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 1: of these, and so I actually I chose to donate 196 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: them to a local library, which made me feel very good. 197 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: But if I ever want to come look at my books, 198 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: I could come back to the library and look at 199 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: my books. But the feeling of loss is something that 200 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 1: people think that they can't handle. But the way that 201 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: my clients have gotten over that, and myself as well 202 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: as to think about what's on the other side of that. 203 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: If you're strong enough to handle the feeling of loss, 204 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 1: what do you gain? And you know something you said 205 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: earl out of that, I think we may want to 206 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 1: go back to thinking about like your grandmother's couches and 207 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 1: like these rooms of furniture that like I think historically 208 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: lots of our families have had. I think a lot 209 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: of that was about status, right, Like a lot of 210 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: it was about not being able to have and now 211 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: being able to have. And I would imagine that this 212 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 1: probably comes up with your clients. Some of this I 213 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: think is rooted in like some cultural trauma because we 214 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,559 Speaker 1: are often approaching things from a scarcity mindset, right, Can 215 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: you talk a little bit about some of those themes 216 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: that come up with your clients. I actually told my 217 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 1: grandmother of my plan and I first became a minimalist 218 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: of getting rid of all my stuff and traveling the world, 219 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: and she said, so you're gonna go from having your 220 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 1: own apartment of being a gypsy and my generation, I 221 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 1: was like, what's wrong with that? But I looked it 222 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: up and the word has a very negative connotation from 223 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: her generation. It's almost like being homeless. Being a gypsy 224 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: is not a good thing, and it's sounds exciting to me. 225 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: With my millennial self, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna live 226 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:57,679 Speaker 1: cheaply and spend my money on experiences versus stuff. The 227 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 1: whole thing by happy Black woman is creating your ideal life. 228 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 1: And so I don't believe that just because you don't 229 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: have the money now doesn't mean you can't create it 230 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: if you have assets, that furniture is assets, and so 231 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:12,599 Speaker 1: in her mind, I was going down in status to 232 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,199 Speaker 1: becoming a gypsy because I was giving up my stuff. 233 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: Still the same person, with the same value, but now 234 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,719 Speaker 1: because I don't have any furniture. Now, I'm I'm a 235 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 1: vagabond on the streets. You know, you bring up another 236 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 1: good point, like, how do you explain this? I have 237 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 1: conversations with family and other loved ones because especially around 238 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: things like holidays, right, like, just for my own example, 239 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: I have two boys, and you know, even if we 240 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: tell grandparents and aunties please don't send them a bunch 241 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 1: of gifts for Christmas, We're fine. People still want to 242 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: send stuff. So how do you navigate these conversations with 243 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 1: family and loved ones about choosing to move into a 244 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: more minimalist lifestyle. I will say that it does take time, 245 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 1: you know, for people to get how you are with 246 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: this new way of thinking and adjust to it, just 247 00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 1: like with a lot of decisions that we make in 248 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 1: our lives to change our lives for the better. It's 249 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 1: better for us, and we know it's better for us 250 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: and our finances and our peace of mind and everything. 251 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: But for other people, they don't see it that way 252 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 1: and it may just take some time for them to adjust. 253 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,959 Speaker 1: So I think in the beginning, it was like, what 254 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,559 Speaker 1: is Rosetta doing. She's living with roommate, she had her 255 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,160 Speaker 1: own place, and from the outside looking in, it could 256 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,559 Speaker 1: look like maybe it's not the right decision for you, 257 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: and why are you doing this? And people want to 258 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 1: support you, but this is weird. But you've got to 259 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: know for yourself that this is the right thing. And 260 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,559 Speaker 1: with that, you just manage everyone based on their relationship 261 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: in your life. And so with gifts, it's very hard 262 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 1: to tell someone to not give a gift. The thing is, 263 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: I still get a lot of gifts. I don't tell 264 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,440 Speaker 1: them what happens after they give the gift. I received 265 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 1: the gift. That doesn't mean that I keep all the gifts. 266 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 1: So sometimes I would donate them repurpose them, especially when 267 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 1: I was traveling, I had no choice to give the 268 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 1: gift to staff member at a hotel I was staying, 269 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 1: or to my roommate. So you don't need to make 270 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:07,439 Speaker 1: people come over to your side of your truths. Impossible 271 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: to do that. But you can manage each person in 272 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: your life based on what your relationship is. I think 273 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,960 Speaker 1: I like that you said that a lot of your 274 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: work involves helping people kind of make peace with the 275 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: loss of what they're giving up. But if you help 276 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: them to look at what they're gaining that can help 277 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 1: them to kind of move further into it. Can you 278 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 1: say a little bit more about what we can gain 279 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: from moving to a minimalist lifestyle, and like how staying 280 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: attached to stuff can sometimes weigh us down. I love 281 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: what you said earlier about you know, it being like 282 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: this generational thing because so many things have changed over 283 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: the generations about what our self worth looks like and 284 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: what it consists, of what our jobs are and we 285 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: can actually follow our passion and our purpose now and 286 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 1: trying to explain that to a grandparent, a great grandparent, 287 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 1: or even your parents, it's still a foreign concept. And 288 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: so making the choice to live with less can still 289 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 1: be a foreign concept to wrap your mind around. Even 290 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: though you know that now today we have choices, it's 291 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: still a foreign concept to kind of realize and understand 292 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: and act from that place versus before it was like 293 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: a badge of honor to collect things because that means 294 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: that I've made it. If I didn't make it, then 295 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: why would I have this expensive couch that I only 296 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 1: sit on when company comes? And even then, how much 297 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: used to you get out of it? I think it's 298 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: interesting the calculations people would go through like before they 299 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 1: buy a car, how much am I gonna use it? 300 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: You know, I'm not gonna buy this expensive car if 301 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 1: I'm only gonna use it once in a while where 302 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: I can take the subway cheaper, like we do that. 303 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 1: But then when it comes to like when people come 304 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 1: see my house, it needs to look a certain way 305 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: so they'll think of me a certain way. But it's fleeting, 306 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: it's temporary, and it's really a lot of times for 307 00:15:56,320 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: other people. When you have something that you want more 308 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: than the approval of other people or the feeling that 309 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 1: you've made it, and you really focus on what is 310 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: it that's going to make you happy, then it becomes 311 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: easier to do that, just like any other thing that 312 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: we've done in our lives. And somebody said, oh that's number, 313 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: that's stupid. It's like, but I wanted, so it matters 314 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: to me, and that's all that needs to happen. Most people, 315 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 1: they don't have a strong enough why to do it, 316 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: so it sounds crazier. It sounds like maybe they can't 317 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: do it. But let's say you want to buy a 318 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 1: house next year. You know I don't have money for that. Well, 319 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 1: what if you were to cut your living expenses in half. 320 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 1: You don't really like where you live right now anyway, 321 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: you want to go to that new house. So what's 322 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: on the other side of you saving money and cutting 323 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: your expenses for a while, is that new house in 324 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 1: the place that you want, with the bedrooms that you want, 325 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 1: and you can put all new furniture in there if 326 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 1: you want to. If you were to implement the strategy 327 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 1: for a while, you can sell things. You know, there 328 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 1: is a survey that came out a couple of year 329 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 1: years ago that said that the average American has at 330 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,479 Speaker 1: least ten thousand dollars worth of stuff that they can 331 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 1: sell on their wow, ten thousand dollars depending on where 332 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,680 Speaker 1: you live at your halfway to down payment right there 333 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 1: right or investing in your business or a trip or 334 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,199 Speaker 1: whatever it is that you want to do to make 335 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: your life happier. But a lot of times we're conditioned 336 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: to do is when we're unhappy and we're not reaching 337 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,919 Speaker 1: our goals or moving forward, is to go buy more stuff. 338 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 1: I listen to Rose that and you might have said 339 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,160 Speaker 1: a word here, right, because you know, we definitely talk 340 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: about like retail therapy. If something is not going well 341 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: in our lives. Something that gives us an almost instantaneous 342 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: dopamine hit is to go buy a new, shiny something, 343 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 1: And so how much do we do that instead of 344 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,639 Speaker 1: looking at what is actually bothering us? Yeah? Yeah, I'm 345 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 1: wondering if you have seen some changes in your work. 346 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 1: I'm sure you have, because we all have in the pandemics. 347 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 1: Is it easier now to, you know, kind of talk 348 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: with clients about becoming more minimalist? Is it harder? Like 349 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: what changes have you seen during the pandemic? I would 350 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 1: say both. It's both easier and harder with changes that 351 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 1: are outside of our control. That's where I think more 352 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: innovative thinking happens. A lot of times, change happens when 353 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,639 Speaker 1: we're forced to make it, and that's not always the 354 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,439 Speaker 1: best kind of situation you have to make change in. 355 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,359 Speaker 1: But people who are not, they have not been forced 356 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: to make a change yet, are so much more open 357 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: to the possibilities of what they could do. So, based 358 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 1: on what's going on in the world today, a lot 359 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 1: of people are wanting to move faster. If they want 360 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 1: to move down South, they're speeding up those plans. The 361 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:49,160 Speaker 1: feeling that life is so uncertain, it's like life, job, business. 362 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,199 Speaker 1: So many things are uncertain that we've seen if one 363 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,439 Speaker 1: little thing changes, and not even just the pandemic, but 364 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 1: all the other world events happening. I think people are 365 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 1: just becoming more aware that maybe you don't have five 366 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: years to take baby steps to get to where you 367 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: want to go. If you're wanting to move your family 368 00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 1: to a better place, a better neighborhood, buy a house, 369 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: invest start your business, and all of that, how much 370 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 1: longer are you gonna be saying that you don't have 371 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 1: the money, let's do something different. And so in that respect, 372 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 1: the conversation is better of people being more open to 373 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,880 Speaker 1: doing things a little differently, of being willing to make 374 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 1: those sacrifices, but people perceive them as sacrifices in order 375 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 1: to reach their goals. And so I will say that 376 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 1: the pandemic has made a lot of women, especially Black women, 377 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 1: more aware of their goals and how far they are, 378 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: meaning that they're more open to thinking about, well, how 379 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 1: can I get there faster? Because I don't have all 380 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: the time in the world and things could change like that, 381 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 1: So let me get a move on what I want 382 00:19:49,160 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: to do. More from my conversation with Rosetta after the break. Mmm, 383 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 1: so tell me more about the work that you do 384 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: with Happy Black Woman and how does minimalism fit into 385 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 1: that work. Yeah, so Happy Black Woman I started as 386 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,920 Speaker 1: a blog in two thousand and ten. I want to 387 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,399 Speaker 1: quit my job, and so the whole minimalism and travel 388 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 1: and everything was documented back on the blog and people 389 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 1: read blogs now, they listen to podcasts. But it was 390 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,840 Speaker 1: always about helping black women transform our mindset so we 391 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 1: can manifest the life and business of our dreams. And 392 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: so what I learned was that most of the things 393 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 1: that we want in life cost money. And I don't 394 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,400 Speaker 1: say that sounds shallow or anything, but if I ask 395 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 1: any black woman right now to make a vision board, this, 396 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 1: let me at least one thing on there that costs 397 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 1: a lot of money. Period. So I learned that, Okay, 398 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: I've got to teach my clients not just to see 399 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,119 Speaker 1: the vision and write the vision and put it on 400 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:57,159 Speaker 1: the board, but to actually be able to manifest the vision, 401 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 1: to actually get that thing they put on their vision board. 402 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,439 Speaker 1: And so I heard early on, that's great, Rosetta, But 403 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: I ain't got money like that. But you do, though, 404 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 1: but you do it, just it's not in your bank 405 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,479 Speaker 1: account yet. But that's when I started teaching women how 406 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,440 Speaker 1: to use their skills and make money and all that. 407 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I learned how to help 408 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: women brainstorm from what they had. The mentalism came up 409 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: when my clients were saying I want this, I want that, 410 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 1: but but but but but so minimalism became something that 411 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,920 Speaker 1: I could say, Hey, I did this and it worked 412 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 1: for me. I blogged about it. I bloged by all 413 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,920 Speaker 1: the things I got rid of, and a lot of 414 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 1: my blogs got really intrigued and they started asking me questions. 415 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,359 Speaker 1: And I get on the phone with the client. I 416 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,439 Speaker 1: had the client whom she wanted to build a business, 417 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, her ultimate goal 418 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,199 Speaker 1: was to move. She lived in Maryland. She wanted to 419 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 1: move to California by the water, and that was where 420 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: she wanted to retire. She's so stuck in this rat 421 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 1: race of working all these hours at her job to 422 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 1: pay for her house in Maryland that she didn't want 423 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 1: to be in. So that's where a lot of started 424 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 1: coming up, and I was like, this is a viable 425 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,159 Speaker 1: solution to a lot of my clients getting what they 426 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,440 Speaker 1: want faster. Like she went all the way also from 427 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 1: deep planing decluttered to downsizing, and so she was able 428 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,680 Speaker 1: to reduce her living expenses again enough to be able 429 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,560 Speaker 1: to make that move, because moving costs money. I had 430 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: a client who sold her home and got apartment because 431 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 1: when she had a home, she had a family and everything. 432 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,120 Speaker 1: And so sometimes life circumstances change and vice versa. If 433 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 1: you have a family, I've seen some of my clients 434 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 1: make choices based on the fact that they want to 435 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: be with their family more. Somebody described as having the 436 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 1: chip on their shoulder or a boulder on their back 437 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: with this mortgage. If you can get your family on 438 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 1: board with minimalism, you all can contribute to a different 439 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 1: life three or five years from now. I have a 440 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,680 Speaker 1: client right now who's looking to relocate to the Caribbean 441 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,920 Speaker 1: and buy property there that she would not be able 442 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:05,679 Speaker 1: to buy in New York. Indeed, so it sounds like 443 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: there's a common theme and a lot of the clients 444 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: that you work with like a desire to move. So 445 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 1: what kinds of issues our goals do clients approach you with? Like, 446 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 1: how does somebody say I want to work with Rosetta 447 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,920 Speaker 1: a happy black woman? They want more, they work more 448 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 1: from life. You know, we see it so much with 449 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,440 Speaker 1: the great resignation right with so many women, especially black women, 450 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 1: And I love this for us, that we're worth more. 451 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: And the whole time we could have been demanding better hours, 452 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: less stressful communes, working from home and everything. Why shouldn't 453 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: we be able to thrive in our own spaces at 454 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 1: home and still provide the work that employers are asking 455 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: us for. So clients come to me when they want 456 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 1: more and they don't know how, like the steps to 457 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 1: take to get there. Most women they can make a 458 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 1: vision board, they get excited, give us a why, bring 459 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 1: out the magazines and everything. So some of my early 460 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,359 Speaker 1: events were like doing kind of vision board parties and 461 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,760 Speaker 1: doing retreats and helping women again get clear on what 462 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 1: they wanted. And once you get clear that you want more, 463 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: most of us were no stranger to heart work. We're 464 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 1: no strange like, okay, well let's get it. Well, what's 465 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 1: the plan? All right? So boom. First of all, we're 466 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: going to reduce your expenses. Second of all, we're going 467 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: to increase your income, and that's going to be part 468 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,399 Speaker 1: of your plan to get the more that you want. 469 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,880 Speaker 1: So you are ahead of the curve rose that because 470 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,159 Speaker 1: you started working remotely years ago, right, So this is 471 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 1: something some of us are catching up to. You started 472 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 1: doing this quite a while. How does it feel now 473 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 1: seeing more professionals being able to take the leap of 474 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 1: working remotely and what kinds of things do they need 475 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: to keep in mind? Like I said, I love this 476 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 1: for us, and I think that because more and more 477 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: people are doing it's more accepted now. It's kind of 478 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 1: like people are more willing to talk about more creative 479 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 1: options for getting what they want. And now it's like 480 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: working from home is more accepted and it's something you 481 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: can actually request now with any employer. You don't even 482 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,959 Speaker 1: have to start your own business to work remotely. You 483 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 1: can do that in a corporate setting. Now it could 484 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 1: be part of your package, part of your requirements that 485 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 1: you work remotely. And so there's a lot of things 486 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,160 Speaker 1: I think about what I think are working remotely. So 487 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 1: some of us, when we get the opportunity to do that, 488 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,160 Speaker 1: sometimes we can let our goals fall by the wayside, 489 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 1: like we can lose sight of them. So a lot 490 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,680 Speaker 1: of us we say, you know, every year, I'm gonna 491 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: start saving moneys from my house I'm gonna start doing 492 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 1: this and that, and then sometimes we get caught up 493 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: in whatever is we're doing and we forget about that. 494 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 1: So working remotely can be a blessing if you make 495 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 1: sure that it is a blessing. So remember all that 496 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 1: money that we save from not commuting, not having to 497 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: buy gas, where is that going? So I know this 498 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 1: it's not a financial podcast, but if you don't keep 499 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,640 Speaker 1: your in goal at the forefront of everything, it could 500 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: be easy to still not save money for the house, 501 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,879 Speaker 1: or still not put the money into the business, or 502 00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: still not just save for retirement or whatever it is 503 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 1: early retirement, or for whatever you want for your kids 504 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,480 Speaker 1: or for your family. It could be easy to still 505 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,919 Speaker 1: not make progress if you're not intentional about what am 506 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 1: I doing based on this opportunity that I got to 507 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: work remotely. A lot of people they say that their 508 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,680 Speaker 1: food costs went down because they're not eating out, but 509 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 1: then there breaks at home. Yeah, you know, it has 510 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: been so interesting. I think Rosetta like there's a duality 511 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: for so many pieces of the pandemic that there's been 512 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,200 Speaker 1: this anxiety and you know, like, oh my gosh, what's happening? 513 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,960 Speaker 1: How do I keep myself safe. But I also feel 514 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,720 Speaker 1: like the opportunities that many of us have gotten from 515 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,639 Speaker 1: working from home have really just unlocked a lot for us. 516 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: I think for a lot of people, this has been 517 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: the first time they have thought about work not necessarily 518 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: being the center of their lives, like you've talked about before, 519 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 1: Like I'm doing all this work to provide for this 520 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: house that I don't even love living in. And I 521 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,960 Speaker 1: think the pandemic has really allowed people to go back 522 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,199 Speaker 1: and live with family and still keep their jobs right. 523 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 1: And so now I think there is a focus on 524 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: how do I restructure my life to actually live my 525 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: life and not about just focusing on work that I 526 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 1: think has been really interesting, like I said, and especially exciting, 527 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 1: I think for a lot of Black women. Oh yeah, 528 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: the idea that we can literally create our own reality. 529 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 1: It wasn't possible for previous generations to do things like 530 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 1: we can do them now. And I think that's where 531 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,359 Speaker 1: therapy comes in and coaching comes in, and being in 532 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 1: the communities of women who are doing those things, it 533 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,560 Speaker 1: helps us to find our belief to make those steps forward, 534 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: to believe that it's possible and all of that, and 535 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,679 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. Like I said, I 536 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: started this journey because I wanted to save money so 537 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: I could travel. That was my big goal. But then 538 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 1: going through it, I realized that I didn't even need 539 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: all the stuff that I got rid of. It wasn't 540 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,680 Speaker 1: ever I need all this stuff. It was that that's 541 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 1: just how you live life. But when you start to 542 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,600 Speaker 1: put your goals, I think at the forefront, it really 543 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,120 Speaker 1: is an opportunity for you to ask some really powerful 544 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,320 Speaker 1: questions to yourself, like does this match up with the 545 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,280 Speaker 1: goals that I have? Is this aligned with where I'm going? 546 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 1: I often use the metaphor of if you look around 547 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: your house and really at anything any people in situations 548 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,800 Speaker 1: in your life. If you look around your home, feeling 549 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,639 Speaker 1: around your life, and ask yourself, do all these things 550 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 1: do all these people still align with where I'm going 551 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,639 Speaker 1: and where I want to be a year, two years, 552 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 1: three years, ten years from now? And if the answer 553 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 1: is no, then why am I holding onto it? It's 554 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: a powerful question. I feel like I want you all 555 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 1: to take that to your journals and really think about that. 556 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 1: It feels like that deserves some exploration and thinking. There. Yeah, 557 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: the name of your business is happy Black Woman. And 558 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 1: I wonder if you can talk about what areas of 559 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 1: happiness often feel overlooked for clients who you start working with, 560 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: who may be struggling or wanting to adopt a more 561 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: minimalist lifestyle, Well, it comes up at the intersection of 562 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 1: other things. You know, someone starts talking about one thing 563 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: that they want to do or or something that is 564 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 1: blocking them, and then it comes up as a part 565 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 1: of that conversation. So what we typically start out with 566 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: in any of my coaching programs or courses or anything 567 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 1: is the wheel of life that I'm sure most of 568 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 1: your listeners are familiar with. So you look at for 569 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 1: us eight areas of life, and what a lot of 570 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: my clients and to focus on is the business and 571 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,200 Speaker 1: career side. And I know because that was my focus 572 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: for so long. It's just the business or the job 573 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 1: because it has that tangible gratification if you did a 574 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 1: good job, you got more clients, or you did a 575 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 1: great job on that project. Yeah, you know, awesome. But 576 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: what's overlooked is, honestly, the other seven areas. Can you 577 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 1: name those areas for us? ROSA, Yeah, the first one 578 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: is lifestyle and fun. I can tell you how many 579 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 1: clients say, I can't remember last time I did something 580 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: just for fun, not because it was doing it for 581 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 1: someone else or because I thought it was gonna advance 582 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: me professionally. So it's lifestyle and fund business and career 583 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 1: money and finances, and that's where we're getting into how 584 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 1: are you saving for your goals? Where is your money going? 585 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: And then we have health and wellness, so it's not 586 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 1: just about weight loss. The main thing we talked about 587 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: actually with that is mental health. Mental health support and 588 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: making sure that you're fully supported to move forward with 589 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: everything that you want to do in your life. Family 590 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,760 Speaker 1: and friends, So your relationships with your family and friends. 591 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,520 Speaker 1: A lot of black women they say that it's hard 592 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,719 Speaker 1: to make friends when you're older if you don't already 593 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: have that group of friends, or they outgrow their friends 594 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 1: when they want to do something different or set, you know, 595 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 1: bigger goals. And then there's love and romance, So how's 596 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: the love life going? And it can be a big 597 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 1: energy drainer when it's not the right person, or maybe 598 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: there should be no person, maybe it should just be you. 599 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: And the last area is personal growth and spiritual development. 600 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 1: So a lot of times we focus too much on 601 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 1: one area, we neglect all the other parts of ourselves 602 00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: and then we just run an autopilot go to work, 603 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:05,320 Speaker 1: come home, watch Netflix, repeat all over again, versus taking 604 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: stock of Okay, how could downsizing help in three areas? Like, 605 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,720 Speaker 1: downsizing for my clients typically helps with the money and 606 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: finances area, the business and career area because a lot 607 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 1: of my clients they can work less because they don't 608 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: have to pay to maintain all the stuff. The stuff 609 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: that we buy needs to be maintained. We live need 610 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,240 Speaker 1: to be maintained. And then the lifestyle and fund that's 611 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: where you live fits into the lifestyle piece. Got it? 612 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,880 Speaker 1: So is the work that you do with your clients 613 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: kind of primarily walking them through these eight areas and 614 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: then looking at where we in this area. How can 615 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,520 Speaker 1: we bolster up this one? How can we take away 616 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: so much from the career in job one and put 617 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 1: that energy towards somewhere else. Yeah, So it's creating that 618 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 1: ideal life, that vision for each client based on where 619 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: they want to go. And most of my clients they 620 00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: are entrepreneurial or they're heading out out of the workforce 621 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,880 Speaker 1: altogether retiring. And I have a lot of clients and 622 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 1: forties and fifties, and they're wanting to leave out but 623 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: not having that foundation of well house on money and 624 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: finances and what's my next stage gonna look like? If 625 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 1: I want to be on the beach in California, what 626 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 1: do I need to do now to really set myself 627 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 1: up for that? But yes, it starts with what is 628 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 1: your vision? What is your version of happy? Because everyone 629 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 1: is not the same. Some people they want a very 630 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 1: luxurious lifestyle. They want all these things, and that's fine. 631 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 1: I always say that minimalism is not about having nothing. 632 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 1: It's about having the things that matter most to you. 633 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,320 Speaker 1: So for some people, maybe it is that fancy couch. 634 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 1: Hopefully they sit on it and actually enjoy it. For 635 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,720 Speaker 1: a lot of my clients, it's about experiences. They don't 636 00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 1: care about the stuff so much, but they want to 637 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: have more experiences. Some of my clients is just time. 638 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: Time is a luxury these days, being able to just 639 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: sit with your family and enjoy them and not spend 640 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,400 Speaker 1: most of your time trying to figure out how you're 641 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 1: going to financially provide for them when you don't need 642 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 1: as much. And you teach them and help them to 643 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 1: see that they don't need as much, so many things 644 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 1: can happen not just for you, but for the people 645 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 1: around you. So what's your personal definition of happiness really better? 646 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:24,920 Speaker 1: I often say that all I want in life is 647 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:30,240 Speaker 1: to be happy, successful, and free, and happiness is emotion, 648 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 1: so it changes from day to day. I have a 649 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 1: list in one of the assignments that I get my 650 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,640 Speaker 1: clients um is to make a list of one hundred 651 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 1: things that make you happy. And so my goal is 652 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 1: if I'm doing at least one of those things every day. 653 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,320 Speaker 1: That and what being a minimalist taught me so much 654 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 1: is that spirit of gratitude. Some people, you know, they 655 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: think that you have to get to a certain point 656 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: in life before you can be happy. And for me, 657 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,240 Speaker 1: it's like, if I can feel the sunshine on my 658 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 1: face today, I'm happy. I don't need fifty outfits in 659 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 1: my claw, is it? And for me personally, I don't 660 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,360 Speaker 1: care about that. If you do, that's great. But by 661 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 1: living with less I actually learned, and once I did 662 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,920 Speaker 1: start making money, I did not rush to fill up 663 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: the closet and to like buy all the things I 664 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,319 Speaker 1: couldn't buy before. I'm just in the space of I 665 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 1: have more gratitude because I know that happiness is not 666 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 1: about stuff. It's about the stuff that I care about, 667 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,399 Speaker 1: not about the stuff in general. So you've already given 668 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: us a beautiful intention in terms of looking around our 669 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: house and our life and seeing if the things are 670 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,200 Speaker 1: the people there, are going where we're headed in the 671 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 1: next year, three years, five years. Are there other intentions 672 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 1: or goals that we should have when we're setting minimalism 673 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 1: and can you give us any examples of other things 674 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,840 Speaker 1: that might help? Yeah, So it's like, what is your wife? 675 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,360 Speaker 1: What is the ultimate thing that would make you feel 676 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: like you achieve your vision board? I always go back 677 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,920 Speaker 1: to the vision board because everyone has one, and if 678 00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 1: you were to look at the thing on there that 679 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,839 Speaker 1: you want to do, or want to have or want 680 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,879 Speaker 1: to be so much but but but but right. One 681 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,960 Speaker 1: of the questions that I asked my clients asked themselves 682 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 1: is why do you want that? What will it give you? 683 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,959 Speaker 1: What feeling will you have? What will you be able 684 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,680 Speaker 1: to do because of that? And for me it was 685 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 1: travel because I want to see the world. I wanted 686 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 1: to see the places in the magazines that I thought 687 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,040 Speaker 1: I would never get to see. Something that nobody in 688 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 1: my family had done. It was something that I wanted 689 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,840 Speaker 1: for me, and when I understood how important that was 690 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 1: for me, there is actually no barrier or no hesitation 691 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 1: for me to look at this as a way to 692 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,759 Speaker 1: get there because I tapped into it. Like a lot 693 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,279 Speaker 1: of people, they write their goals down and they put 694 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 1: on the vision board and they forget about it. But 695 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,399 Speaker 1: like reconnecting every day, journaling about it, like you said, 696 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,920 Speaker 1: is a great way to connect to it and to 697 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,319 Speaker 1: to really hone in on your why Why do you 698 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,400 Speaker 1: want to own a home? Why do you want to 699 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:04,239 Speaker 1: put your kid in in this awesome school? Why do 700 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:08,280 Speaker 1: you want to say for early retirement? Can you imagine 701 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,880 Speaker 1: what your life would be like if you didn't have 702 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:15,359 Speaker 1: to work until you're ninety two? Right, if you had 703 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: less living expenses? What can that allow you to do? 704 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 1: But also how much time would it save you? You know, 705 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 1: when you have I'm not saying anyone needs to do this. 706 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 1: Not having a lot of dishes? How much time does 707 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 1: that save the average woman? Not having a lot of clothes? 708 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,160 Speaker 1: How much time does that save you? Getting ready so 709 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: you can enjoy your day? Goes back to what we're 710 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,880 Speaker 1: talking about. Earlier, What do you gain and not tapped 711 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,600 Speaker 1: into that. It's kind of like a dream, It's like 712 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:47,640 Speaker 1: a fairy tale. But my thing is, let's tap more 713 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,919 Speaker 1: into that journal about it, connect to it, and that's 714 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,800 Speaker 1: your why. That's going to help you to make these moves. 715 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 1: You know, as I'm listening to you talk, we also 716 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,719 Speaker 1: talk a lot here about like decision fatigue, right, and 717 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,840 Speaker 1: how you know because of where we find ourselves in 718 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 1: the world three years into a pandemic, the amount of 719 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,239 Speaker 1: time and energy it takes to decide what are you 720 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,360 Speaker 1: cooking for dinner? What am I wearing on the zoom 721 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: call today? But minimalism also can help with that because 722 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 1: there are just fewer choices, right, So if every day 723 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,680 Speaker 1: I'm wearing a black turtleneck, then I don't have to 724 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,640 Speaker 1: waste my bandwid thinking about what I'm gonna wear today exactly. 725 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 1: And then what do you gain from that? How much 726 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 1: deeper did you listen to your conversation today because you 727 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:29,480 Speaker 1: weren't thinking about that or worrying about it. It was 728 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,359 Speaker 1: the same thing kind of when I went natural and 729 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,080 Speaker 1: it was like I just let my hair do what 730 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,359 Speaker 1: it does. It wasn't a tangible thing that you can 731 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,360 Speaker 1: point to and say, my life is better now because 732 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,480 Speaker 1: of that. It was more of a just a weight 733 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,839 Speaker 1: feeling lifted off, like your mind is clearer. It's just 734 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,640 Speaker 1: less things to worry about. So it just feels like 735 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 1: you can experience everything else in your life at a 736 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 1: deeper level. And I feel like I sound really woo 737 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:56,600 Speaker 1: right now, but it's just one of the things that 738 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:59,960 Speaker 1: that process gave me. And a lot of people were 739 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,120 Speaker 1: about what if something happens to my stuff. What I 740 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 1: like personally is knowing that if that were to happen, 741 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 1: I could start over. I wouldn't be devastated. I don't 742 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,719 Speaker 1: need anything in this home for me to be happy, 743 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:16,960 Speaker 1: for me to feel grateful, everything could just disappear. If 744 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,160 Speaker 1: I go outside and I feel a sudden shine on 745 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,640 Speaker 1: my face today, I'm grateful. So I want to ask 746 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,399 Speaker 1: you Rosetta for a couple of scenarios, because I think 747 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,520 Speaker 1: a lot of this feels great to talk about in theory, 748 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:31,640 Speaker 1: but it feels probably much harder in practice. So how 749 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,799 Speaker 1: could somebody who is somebody who loves like clothes and 750 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,520 Speaker 1: trends and collecting stuff like bags and purses, what might 751 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 1: minimalism look like for them. Yeah, I will say that 752 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,800 Speaker 1: if someone's really interested in this topic, don't be afraid 753 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,040 Speaker 1: to go down the rabbit hole, because what I learned 754 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 1: later is that there is a whole community and conversation 755 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 1: and movement around this. What I will say is that 756 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 1: even with someone who really loves clothes and fashion, all 757 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,000 Speaker 1: that loving clothes and fashion does not mean that you 758 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 1: have to have everything. You can love the three purses 759 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,040 Speaker 1: in your closet and if you love brands, awesome like 760 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:17,360 Speaker 1: three of the most expensive exquisite purses. If this is 761 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,839 Speaker 1: important to you, right, So I'm not saying everyone needs 762 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:24,080 Speaker 1: to do this, but what you care about gets amplified 763 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: when you incorporate minimalism into your life. And some people, 764 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,880 Speaker 1: again are force into it. It's like if you have 765 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 1: to downsize because you lost a job or something. It's 766 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,879 Speaker 1: totally different experience. And I'm not, you know, gonna gonna 767 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:40,440 Speaker 1: sugarcoat that. But if you think about I want to 768 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,240 Speaker 1: reduce my expenses or I want to have less things 769 00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,480 Speaker 1: to worry about or maintain, what could that look like? 770 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,360 Speaker 1: So for some people might be thinking about, if I 771 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,759 Speaker 1: love fashion and all of that, what if I could 772 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 1: put all the things that I love the most into 773 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,879 Speaker 1: one closet. But if I didn't need a whole room 774 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,960 Speaker 1: to hold my stuff, what could that open up for me? 775 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,719 Speaker 1: So that's a question that's more about what you gain 776 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,200 Speaker 1: than what you lose. What can that open up for me? 777 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,520 Speaker 1: And also there's guilt. When you buy something and you 778 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 1: never wear it, you feel guilty. You feel like you 779 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,960 Speaker 1: made a bad decision. You mean, like you felt you 780 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,720 Speaker 1: wasted money. That's in the back of your mind, affecting 781 00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,439 Speaker 1: your mental health as well. You beat yourself up for 782 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,759 Speaker 1: being an impulse shopper. But I loved that. I had 783 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 1: to have it a year later, textile on it. And 784 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,200 Speaker 1: every time you open that closet, how do you feel 785 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:31,600 Speaker 1: about yourself? You know more from my conversation with Rosetta 786 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:45,759 Speaker 1: after the break. So what about like a mom of 787 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,319 Speaker 1: four kids? Again speaking for myself with two children, I 788 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,440 Speaker 1: think about like something that I have trouble getting rid of. 789 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,319 Speaker 1: It is like kids art projects, right, like all these 790 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:59,080 Speaker 1: like weird shaped creatures that they bring home from school, right, 791 00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,800 Speaker 1: and it's like, oh my gosh, I want them to 792 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,040 Speaker 1: be able to have this like twenty years from now, right, 793 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 1: which you know, again, it's like being connection to stuff, 794 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,839 Speaker 1: but it really is more about the memory, right, So 795 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,400 Speaker 1: what kinds of tips are how might day you start 796 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,200 Speaker 1: to practice minimalism, whether something that your kids did or 797 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:18,880 Speaker 1: pictures from different family or people passed away, and the 798 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,319 Speaker 1: pictures is all you have. And so I look at 799 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,319 Speaker 1: it as prioritizing what matters most to you and what 800 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,279 Speaker 1: do you want to see? Right? What do you want 801 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,359 Speaker 1: to see? What do you want in your space every day? 802 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,279 Speaker 1: Because to be honest, even though we have an emotional attachment, 803 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,080 Speaker 1: should be told, a lot of stuff is still on 804 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:38,400 Speaker 1: the box in the basement. It's not being seen, right, 805 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:43,000 Speaker 1: So prioritizing what are those things that represent that for you? 806 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 1: And so you could have on the wall like a 807 00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,439 Speaker 1: collage or a collection of the photos from your great 808 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: grandmother and all the things that it represents. Like I think, 809 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:58,759 Speaker 1: sometimes if we don't give our feelings a task, we 810 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,839 Speaker 1: can tend to you just do the default of what 811 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,080 Speaker 1: we know. Right, So if you have a feeling that 812 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,720 Speaker 1: you don't want to lose that sentimental picture or box 813 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,200 Speaker 1: of things, you just hold onto it. But when you 814 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:14,600 Speaker 1: give that feeling something productive to latch onto, it's like, well, 815 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:18,200 Speaker 1: let me spend this weekend actually organizing my photos into 816 00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:23,879 Speaker 1: a photo album that lives on the coffee table. And 817 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:27,960 Speaker 1: then that eliminates four boxes because some of those pictures 818 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,280 Speaker 1: are faded and everything, and you can't even see them anymore. 819 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,680 Speaker 1: So what are your favorite ones? Or maybe they'll all 820 00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:37,040 Speaker 1: fit into a little album and it could be displayed 821 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,319 Speaker 1: where it can bring you joy and it can bring 822 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,040 Speaker 1: you happiness and it becomes a meaningful thing instead of 823 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:46,200 Speaker 1: this reaction to a feeling, you can actually do something 824 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,440 Speaker 1: productive with it. That so helpful roles that And I 825 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,440 Speaker 1: think even just the language that you're using, right, it 826 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,120 Speaker 1: feels like you keep reframing the conversations like what do 827 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,959 Speaker 1: you gain? Right? So again, even in this conversation, I'm 828 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,239 Speaker 1: focusing on like, Okay, what do we have to give up? 829 00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,800 Speaker 1: I gotta give up my crabs? But it really is 830 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,680 Speaker 1: about like, Okay, what do I love? What do I 831 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,200 Speaker 1: want to be surrounded with? And really focusing on that. 832 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,759 Speaker 1: And that's what minimalism is about at its And it's 833 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,480 Speaker 1: like the art of living less so you can have more, essentially, 834 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 1: so you can have more of a connection. Is it 835 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 1: better to have your kids pictures, you know, scattered around 836 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,560 Speaker 1: or display them. Most of us have a ton of 837 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 1: wall space that's happy display them, have them live somewhere, 838 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 1: and then every time you pass by the wall, you 839 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,560 Speaker 1: get that spark of joy and pride from your kids 840 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,280 Speaker 1: artwork instead of just having it sit in this place. 841 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 1: So living with less clutter and stuff so that you 842 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,560 Speaker 1: can have more and that's where those creative ideas come in. 843 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,719 Speaker 1: Loving thank you for that, Rosenta. So I wonder if 844 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:54,200 Speaker 1: you can leave us with three ways that we might 845 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:59,759 Speaker 1: start to try to practice minimalism in our everyday lives. Yeah. Cool, 846 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,759 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna give an exercise and incorporate the three 847 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,719 Speaker 1: stages you know what I call the three ds of minimalism. 848 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,759 Speaker 1: So this is the perfect time of year, any time 849 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,640 Speaker 1: as a perfect time since podcasts are for right. So 850 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 1: whenever you're listening to this, and once you get out 851 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:15,720 Speaker 1: a piece of paper. If anything that we've said sparked 852 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,560 Speaker 1: something for you, get out a piece of paper and 853 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,680 Speaker 1: I want you to write down it's a brain storming exercise. 854 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,920 Speaker 1: What could you do to address each of these stages? 855 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,520 Speaker 1: So the first stage deep clean? What can I do 856 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,880 Speaker 1: over the next thirty days to deep clean? What can 857 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,000 Speaker 1: you get rid of some of my clients have old 858 00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,800 Speaker 1: stuff from old relationships, and it's not just physical clutter, 859 00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,279 Speaker 1: but it's medically. I'm like, look, if you don't want 860 00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:41,440 Speaker 1: that man never come back and you're life, you need 861 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,200 Speaker 1: to get rid of that energy. So one of some 862 00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,320 Speaker 1: of the deep clean things, what belongs in those trash 863 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,040 Speaker 1: bags that need to go out or need to be 864 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,160 Speaker 1: donated or whatever it is. The second thing is how 865 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,640 Speaker 1: can you declutter over the next thirty days? What can 866 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,000 Speaker 1: you let go of that's just creating clutter that's not 867 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,799 Speaker 1: useful to the goals that you are working wards. So 868 00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,080 Speaker 1: this is the next level and the third level is downsize. 869 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,400 Speaker 1: So over the next thirty days, how could you downsize? 870 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,680 Speaker 1: It's not like you need to move into a different place, 871 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:13,200 Speaker 1: but even looking at your current living situation, what is 872 00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:17,280 Speaker 1: a way that you can reduce the expenses of living 873 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:21,719 Speaker 1: there wherever there is? And even little things like we 874 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,040 Speaker 1: don't think about them, but they add up. If the 875 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,360 Speaker 1: electric bill for a home with a certain number of 876 00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:31,400 Speaker 1: rooms versus less number of rooms, or not having stuff 877 00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 1: in those rooms, your energy costs go down because you're 878 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,799 Speaker 1: focused on your stuff being in these two rooms sort 879 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,919 Speaker 1: of scattered around these four rooms, right, like, how could 880 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:44,799 Speaker 1: you downsize? So that would be the brainstorming exercise is 881 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,040 Speaker 1: you don't have to do any of it, but just 882 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,080 Speaker 1: brainstorm what could be possible, How could you declean, how 883 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,000 Speaker 1: could you declutter, and how could you downsize? Over the 884 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,840 Speaker 1: next thirty days and maybe one of those ideas you 885 00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,240 Speaker 1: might want to get started on down right hoo pressure 886 00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,800 Speaker 1: and just think about it and see what happens. Yeah, 887 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,239 Speaker 1: I love that. Thank you. So where can we stay 888 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,799 Speaker 1: connected with you, Rosetta? What is your website as well 889 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:09,280 Speaker 1: as any social media handles you'd like to share? Well, 890 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,640 Speaker 1: many of us do. We love the Graham, so you 891 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:15,680 Speaker 1: can find me. I respond directly on my Rosetta Therm 892 00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,920 Speaker 1: and Instagram. So if you would like to chat with me, 893 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,840 Speaker 1: connect with me, learn more about what I do. Message 894 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,600 Speaker 1: me on Instagram. I answer all my d ms personally, 895 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,120 Speaker 1: and if you want to just learn more about my 896 00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:28,920 Speaker 1: business and what we do, you can go to Happy 897 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,720 Speaker 1: black Woman dot com and see whatever is the next 898 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,440 Speaker 1: even program course coaching that we have available. Thank you 899 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,200 Speaker 1: so much for sharing with us, Rosetta. I really appreciate it. 900 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,400 Speaker 1: This has been an amazing conversation. You are the best interviewer. 901 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 1: So happy I got to be on the show. Thank you, 902 00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:47,680 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I enjoyed it as well. I'm 903 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:54,600 Speaker 1: going to do this exercise myself. I'm so glad Rosetta 904 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:56,600 Speaker 1: was able to share her exper chise with us today. 905 00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,720 Speaker 1: To learn more about her and her work, be shuts 906 00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:01,600 Speaker 1: of his at the show notes at Therapy for Black 907 00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:05,040 Speaker 1: Girls dot com slash session to two, and be sure 908 00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:06,880 Speaker 1: to text two of your girls and ask them to 909 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,279 Speaker 1: check out the episode right now. If you're looking for 910 00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,719 Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, be sure to check out 911 00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com 912 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,719 Speaker 1: slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into 913 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,600 Speaker 1: this topic or just be in community with other sisters, 914 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:23,920 Speaker 1: come on over and join us in the Sister Circle. 915 00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,759 Speaker 1: It's our cozy corner of the Internet design just for 916 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,000 Speaker 1: black women. You can join us at community dot Therapy 917 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:33,719 Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com. This episode was produced by 918 00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:37,080 Speaker 1: Freda Lucas and Alice Ellis and editing was done by 919 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:40,280 Speaker 1: Dennis and Bradford. Thank you all so much for joining 920 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,960 Speaker 1: me again this week. I look forward to continuing this 921 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,479 Speaker 1: conversation with you all real soon. Take good care