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Speaker 1: Hey, John, you're under arrest.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, don't do it. I'm an og okay starry

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Speaker 2: time podcast host. I don't care. I'm making sure that

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Speaker 2: you stay here for the next two minutes. All right,

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Speaker 2: I'll be detained for the two more minutes before we

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Speaker 2: get into this episode. Yeah, we got some maths coming

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Speaker 2: up to stick around.

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Speaker 1: Stick around.

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Speaker 3: My husband and I have been married for ten years,

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Speaker 3: but he just asked me to sign a prenup after

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Speaker 3: ten years of marriage.

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Speaker 2: Prenup showel the Queen minutes.

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Speaker 3: Hey, I think the point of that is that it's

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Speaker 3: free the nuptials, not post see to me years yetels.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even put that together.

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Speaker 4: I just got caught up in it because they reminded

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Speaker 4: me of his line from Liar Liar starring Jim Carrey.

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Speaker 3: Oh hey, that was a good impression. My husband forty

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Speaker 3: male and I thirty two female, have been married for

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Speaker 3: ten years noyam to twenty two. We are both in

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Speaker 3: the military and he is eligible for retirement. I'm not yet.

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Speaker 3: Today he brought up me signing a prenup so in

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Speaker 3: case we divorce, I will have no right to fifty

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Speaker 3: percent of his military retirement. I feel like I've been

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Speaker 3: gutted on the inside and here is why.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, By the way.

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Speaker 3: This comes from Tia feel like Pooh on the r

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Speaker 3: slash Okay, storytime, supreate it so background. When I married

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Speaker 3: my husband, he just got over a divorce and the

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Speaker 3: X took everything of value, my new car, appliance's best furniture,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. He was deep in credit card debt, and

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Speaker 3: in order to protect his future retirement, he was paying

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Speaker 3: her over one hundred K and spousal support over the

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Speaker 3: next few years. I didn't care and was working hard

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Speaker 3: with him to get us out of debt and to

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Speaker 3: pay off what he owed to his ex. I had

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Speaker 3: no debt of my own. We lived very frugally for

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Speaker 3: years while his spoiled X was sporting a luxury car

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Speaker 3: and lifestyle paid in part by our earnings. Out of

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Speaker 3: ten years we've been married, my husband was cheating on

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Speaker 3: me for about eight. Why is that not the star

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Speaker 3: of this story? Sorry?

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Speaker 2: Badman, bag, badman, bad, bad bad.

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Speaker 3: It started with webcam models online, and then he ended

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Speaker 3: up cheating in real life on his work trips with

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Speaker 3: some of those models he found online around ten women

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Speaker 3: in real life and dozen online affairs.

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Speaker 4: Gross disgusting, disgusting, disgusting.

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Speaker 3: He ended up spending thousands of dollars on this hobby

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Speaker 3: of his.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, hey, that's a that's a cheeky way to

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Speaker 2: put it. I like thatch was that. You gotta work

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Speaker 2: with what she got, baby.

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Speaker 3: She's like, it's a hobby. Every day guy's got how hobby?

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Speaker 3: I found out one day seven years ago by checking

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Speaker 3: a time on his phone because it was the closest one.

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Speaker 3: Then the WhatsApp notification popped up and I was introduced

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Speaker 3: to one of the dozens of chats with so called

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Speaker 3: models on his phone.

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Speaker 4: My world fell apart seven years ago. You found out

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Speaker 4: seven years ago, and you're still with him? Wait, I'm

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Speaker 4: that had to have been was that? I'm I am bewildered, excused.

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Speaker 3: The excuse was that he needed more. He was addicted

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Speaker 3: to spicy texting, et cetera, et cetera. When I asked

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Speaker 3: for him to stop, he threatened divorce. I was raised

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Speaker 3: in a very traditional household, and I couldn't bear the

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Speaker 3: shame that will come from my family if I divorced,

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Speaker 3: so I backed down. This is this is sad. I

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Speaker 3: was trying to make peace with it, but I felt

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Speaker 3: inadequate and a failure as a woman. That's not you

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Speaker 3: at all, that.

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Speaker 2: Is your husband, absolutely not.

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Speaker 3: Over the years, he didn't stop, but the years of

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Speaker 3: me crying over every affair made him slow down a

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Speaker 3: lot in his endeavors. You need to leave him, You

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Speaker 3: need to leave him. Over the years, my career went uphill,

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Speaker 3: and I'm finally feeling more confident and less scared of

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Speaker 3: his divorce threats. Thanks to years of therapy and some medication,

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Speaker 3: I feel better and don't have intrusive self deprecating thoughts anymore.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward today, when my husband dropped the bombshell. We

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Speaker 3: started talking about a mutual friend that had been living

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Speaker 3: with her boyfriend for ten years. Another mutual friend suggested

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Speaker 3: that she should marry her so to protect her future,

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Speaker 3: or her es so to protect her future and the

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Speaker 3: sacrifices she made in order to ensure his very successful career.

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Speaker 3: I also said that I support the idea one hundred percent,

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Speaker 3: as my friend is dear to me and I'm afraid

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Speaker 3: to see her left with nothing if he decides to

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Speaker 3: leave her. After my friends had left, my husband, who

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Speaker 3: heard the conversation, said that he had been worried for

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Speaker 3: years about losing fifty percent of his pension. In case

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Speaker 3: we decide to divorce.

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Speaker 4: I wonder why he might be worried about why would

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Speaker 4: you divorce? Why could he possibly crazy have a little

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Speaker 4: bit of angel I would ruin that relationship, that perfect relationship.

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Speaker 3: I had no intentions of divorcing my husband, but I

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Speaker 3: was hurt by the comments, so I fired back that

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Speaker 3: this is my insurance in case he decides to bring

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Speaker 3: an eighteen year old webcam model into the house since

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Speaker 3: he got bored of me or whatever. And trust me,

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty, but all of his aps are barely legal

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Speaker 3: in their pictures, with the real age being no more

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Speaker 3: than twenty two.

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Speaker 2: Divorce op got to leave him, And also, you're beautiful.

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Speaker 4: And you are a fully realized person in your own right,

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Speaker 4: and you did not need this hunk crash chunk pee.

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Speaker 2: He belongs in his skinky pod, stinky pea in a pod,

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Speaker 2: pea pod.

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Speaker 3: He's a He's a piss pod man.

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Speaker 2: That's he's a little pissed boy.

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Speaker 3: He got upset with me and went on the tangent

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Speaker 3: on how women have these crazy laws protecting them and

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Speaker 3: how poor men are being ripped off in their marriages.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you shouldn't cheat.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, hmmm.

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Speaker 3: He also brought up his ex who took a lot

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Speaker 3: from him while he got nothing out of the seven

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Speaker 3: year relationship. And now he married again with this was

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Speaker 3: married again with a successful guy.

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Speaker 5: On and on.

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Speaker 3: I felt gutted on the inside. I was not crying anymore.

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Speaker 3: I think I cried all of my tears out over

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Speaker 3: the years. I just left for a few hours to

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Speaker 3: give me some space to think aside from cheating and

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Speaker 3: occasionally petty fights like that, he is everything I wanted

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Speaker 3: a man.

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Speaker 2: No, he's not, girl. He's not everything you want in

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Speaker 2: a man.

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Speaker 3: He literally cannot be. You have to raise your bar,

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Speaker 3: but this cannot be the bar for everything you want

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Speaker 3: in a man.

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Speaker 2: It'd be like if you had a car right and

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Speaker 2: you're like and you were like down.

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Speaker 4: Besides the fact that it has no wheels and the

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Speaker 4: engine is broken, ralls not there, the radio works really well,

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Speaker 4: and honestly, the bones are going.

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Speaker 3: I feel like it's the car I want. I know

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Speaker 3: everything I want in a car.

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Speaker 2: I can't have another car besides this one.

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Speaker 3: No, there's no other cars.

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Speaker 2: You can get another one.

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Speaker 3: So many other cars that are that have radio are.

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Speaker 4: Billions of cars people. It's hard to even your head

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Speaker 4: around how many cars are.

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Speaker 3: Out there, so many cars. He is reliable and smart.

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Speaker 3: He's not reliable. He's been right years and helps me

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Speaker 3: with everything I do, including our house renovation. He sounds

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Speaker 3: like a contractor. He's smart, reliable, and he's good with

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Speaker 3: house renovation. Just hire a contractor you'll get the same thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I still love him, and I'm scared to be alone

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Speaker 3: and go back to dating. I don't know what to

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Speaker 3: do dating.

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Speaker 2: That's it right there.

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Speaker 3: Else could be better.

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Speaker 4: That was the moment right there, that that summed up

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Speaker 4: exactly where she's at. And all the other stuff that

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Speaker 4: she said is coming from that place of just being afraid.

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Speaker 4: Heared and Alex, She's like, I still love this guy

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Speaker 4: and I'm afraid and I don't want to know how

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Speaker 4: to date. And it's like, yeah, it sucks, but it's

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Speaker 4: better than being with a guy who's been cheating on

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Speaker 4: you for eight years with cameras, camera people, And.

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Speaker 3: There are some relevant comments to finish the story off,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, absolutely you need to you need to divorce him.

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Speaker 3: Nine nine to six three says well, I read to

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Speaker 3: the eight years cheating part, and I'm just gonna say,

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Speaker 3: don't sign a post optial. Thank you for saying post nuptial.

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Speaker 3: He has a history and is trying to screw you

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Speaker 3: over very badly, especially now that the ten year marks

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Speaker 3: passed in your marriage. Don't let him trick you into

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Speaker 3: signing away what is right for yours if he leaves you. Also,

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Speaker 3: he clearly has a type which is below thirty, so

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Speaker 3: as you get older, he may cheat or leave you

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Speaker 3: for a younger woman, which maybe is planned now, but

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Speaker 3: is afraid of losing his pension. Thus the post numb

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Speaker 3: and op says, thank you. Yes, preeing up is never

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Speaker 3: going to happen. You can threaten divorce again and again

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Speaker 3: for all I care. I'm not going to move an

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Speaker 3: inch move away from this relationship.

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Speaker 2: Please, it is time, Please, it is It's been time.

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Speaker 3: It's sad since otherwise we had a great relationship. Girl,

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Speaker 3: you don't. You have a terrible relationship. I'm sorry to

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Speaker 3: be harsh. You have a terrible relationship. This is a

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Speaker 3: horrible relationship.

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Speaker 4: So simes, you gotta get that tough love. If you

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Speaker 4: don't get the tough love, sometimes you don't know. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I mean from us, not from him. He's he's not

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Speaker 4: giving you a love. He is cheating on you.

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Speaker 2: Cheating costly.

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Speaker 3: He does not love it.

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Speaker 2: The logical conclusion is leave him, divorce and also take

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Speaker 2: his pension money, his pension.

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Speaker 4: I had a comment I saw it was about how

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Speaker 4: in the military, if you cheat on your wife, it's

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Speaker 4: like a big looks like a big deal. So, yeah,

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Speaker 4: he knew what he was doing and he deserves to

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Speaker 4: lose half of his money.

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Speaker 2: And he's putting you through that.

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Speaker 3: Agreed all of it, agreed possible way says you have

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Speaker 3: to be aware that'll leave you the second you signed

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Speaker 3: the post up. If you wouldn't want a divorce, he

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Speaker 3: wouldn't be mad at you for not signing. You do

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Speaker 3: have the spine to leave him, and you absolutely deserve

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Speaker 3: his fifty percent of the pension because you paid off

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Speaker 3: his debt and took on his cheating, and you worked

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Speaker 3: for this money as much as he did. It is

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Speaker 3: rightfully yours. Also, I'm pretty sure you're doing a big

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Speaker 3: share of the household and mental load.

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Speaker 2: Which also counts for it divorce.

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Speaker 3: And you know what else counts you Joining us Live

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Speaker 3: every weekday at three pm PSD, just chop your profile

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Speaker 3: chip out. Brainy Brink says, you are only thirty two.

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Speaker 3: You have wasted your twenties crying about and financially bailing

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Speaker 3: out this loser, dependable smart good at DIY. A dependable

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Speaker 3: man wouldn't cheat on you. A smart man wouldn't be

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Speaker 3: hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from a doorce.

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Speaker 3: He really took you on a ride with that one.

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Speaker 3: Good at DIY. Please, you've got to have more respect

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Speaker 3: for yourself than that. Your bar is underground. If you

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Speaker 3: think he's perfect except for the boring cheating, gambling and

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Speaker 3: indebtedness DM and get that retirement money.

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Speaker 2: He's forty.

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Speaker 3: He can sort out his retirement over the next twenty

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Speaker 3: five years. And he doesn't deserve you.

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Speaker 2: He definitely does not. No, so a DIY guy.

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Speaker 4: If he's cheating on you with cam girls, come on,

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Speaker 4: come on, he's doing it himself.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you down had to get that one out.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't. It was good. Okay, my boyfriend demanded we

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Speaker 3: get a prenup, but he hasn't even proposed yet.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, people don't know when.

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Speaker 3: You're supposed to talk about a prenup. We got a prenup.

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Speaker 3: Ten years later, we got a prenup before you propose.

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Speaker 3: He's like, let's get a prenup. She's like, we actually

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Speaker 3: haven't talked about marriage. Is this a proposal?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Wait, okay yeah.

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Speaker 3: My twenty eight male boyfriend told me twenty three female

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Speaker 3: that we should get a prenup before we get married,

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Speaker 3: when he hasn't even proposed to me yet. I come

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Speaker 3: from a very loving family. When I was a kid,

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Speaker 3: though we didn't have a luxurious life, Dad made sure's

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Speaker 3: children were the happiest and he worked very hard, and

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Speaker 3: my mom was always his biggest supporter. She married my

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Speaker 3: dad when he was nothing, and today my dad came

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Speaker 3: to a position where he is listed among the most

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Speaker 3: elite businessmen in the city. It's all hard work and

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Speaker 3: my mom's support. And that's the type of marriage I want,

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Speaker 3: where there is no question of divorce, just patience, hard work,

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Speaker 3: and faith in God. My dad always told me to

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Speaker 3: trust in my hard work and not having any liking

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Speaker 3: or lust for money. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 3: Okay event two fifteen on the r slash Okay storytime

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Speaker 3: suffered it. So he is the best example to show

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Speaker 3: that money does not buy happiness and hard work always

256
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Speaker 3: pays off. I worked hard too, and by God's grace,

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Speaker 3: today I'm a pilot hell whoa and so is my boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: We both started our training together, so we have the

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Speaker 3: same experience as well. My boyfriend believes that one day

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Speaker 3: he will be a big businessman, but he doesn't really

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Speaker 3: do anything to make that possible. Oh boy today and

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Speaker 3: his blind belief that one day he'll be rich. He

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Speaker 3: told me that he doesn't want to lose all his money,

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Speaker 3: which doesn't exist if we divorce in the future, so

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Speaker 3: he wants a prenup. I told him to first propose.

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Speaker 3: He said he can't until I agree to a prenup.

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Speaker 3: I told him how ridiculous it was for him to

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Speaker 3: think that I'm after his money, when in fact I

269
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Speaker 3: have much more money than him. He says, in fact,

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Speaker 3: he'll have more in the future. I said, let's think

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Speaker 3: about it when you actually do have more money and

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Speaker 3: ended the conversation. Was I too arrogant? Should I sign

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Speaker 3: the prenup? I honestly don't care for it, but the

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Speaker 3: thought that I'm after his money is what hurt me.

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Speaker 3: And there is an update, but pausing right there, What

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Speaker 3: do you.

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Speaker 4: Think you're not You're definitely not naile for being like,

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry you want a prenup now that you're not

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Speaker 4: and you're not proposing, which, by the way, you do

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Speaker 4: the prenup after you propose. It's not a prepose. It's

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Speaker 4: a prenup jewel exactly. Enup jewels have not happened, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: when you propose, and uh, being like, yeah, I'm basically

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Speaker 4: Elon Musky in the sky.

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Speaker 2: Uh, I haven't figured out exactly what my business playing it?

285
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Speaker 3: Oh, arrogant. No, it's pretty ridiculous to not even like,

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Speaker 3: not even proposed.

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Speaker 2: I would laugh. It's fun, that's funny.

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Speaker 3: I would laugh.

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00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,960
Speaker 2: I laugh at dude, that's hilarious.

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Speaker 5: He says that.

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Speaker 4: I go.

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Speaker 2: Aha, Oh, there's an update for twenty minutes. Yeah, up date.

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Speaker 3: So I spoke to my dad about this conversation I

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Speaker 3: had with my boyfriend. Turns out the prenup was actually

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Speaker 3: my dad's idea. No, it seems my boyfriend discussed with

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Speaker 3: my dad about expanding the logistics sector and had some

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00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,880
Speaker 3: really good plans, so my dad decided to let him

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Speaker 3: take charge and handle logistics, hence a prenup. Would make

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Speaker 3: sure things don't get ugly later on. My plan is

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Speaker 3: to get married at twenty five and continue flying. I

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Speaker 3: don't know why my boyfriend didn't mention this conversation with

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Speaker 3: my dad. I might have given an impression that my

303
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Speaker 3: boyfriend is an idiot, but I don't mean to. He

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00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,960
Speaker 3: is smart and talented, but sometimes gives me half information,

305
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:05,280
Speaker 3: which frustrates me. He never told me about the plans

306
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,880
Speaker 3: he had for the company, but only kept saying he'll

307
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,479
Speaker 3: make a fortune one day, so he does have actionable

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00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,160
Speaker 3: plans to get money, but didn't tellopee that.

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Speaker 4: Wait, but that doesn't sound like something you'd want to

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Speaker 4: keep a secret from yourself.

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Speaker 3: Together, you'd be like, I have great business plans in

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00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:22,800
Speaker 3: the future.

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Speaker 2: Imagine he's just like, there is. It probably would just

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Speaker 2: go over your head.

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Speaker 4: I just didn't want to bother you with details because

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00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,400
Speaker 4: it's you know, it's talkie talking numbers.

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00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 3: Sign don't even read it. It's like the terms and

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00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,800
Speaker 3: conditions for Apple. Don't even read it. Just just sign that. Yeah,

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00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:42,720
Speaker 3: go ahead, just do it, do it, and then I'll propose. Okay,

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Speaker 3: But also, I don't have enough money. I'm not super

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Speaker 3: liquid right now, so you can't put ring?

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Speaker 2: Can I get twenty books?

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Speaker 3: Get that ring?

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Speaker 5: Ring?

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00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 2: Can I also get twenty books before you do it? Thanks?

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Speaker 3: Appreciate it. Update, Thank you for all your responses. Guys,

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Speaker 3: So last night was long and a miserable night which

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Speaker 3: marked the end of our relationship.

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Speaker 4: Now actually yes, oh maybe, yes, oh yes, oh, Henry.

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Speaker 3: I don't normally question my boyfriend, and especially if my

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Speaker 3: dad is involved, I don't get involved. I trust my

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Speaker 3: dad completely. He isn't what he is today, just like that. However,

333
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,880
Speaker 3: the fact that he did hit a very important detail

334
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,440
Speaker 3: for me was bothering me so much and I couldn't

335
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:28,280
Speaker 3: take it anymore. So I asked him why didn't he

336
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,240
Speaker 3: tell me his plans? Why didn't he let me know

337
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,760
Speaker 3: about this deal? A little background about us. My boyfriend

338
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,520
Speaker 3: is a firstborn son of a religious leader in my community,

339
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,920
Speaker 3: and my parents always had a good impression on him.

340
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,720
Speaker 3: Assuming he's a man of God, he has this passion

341
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,240
Speaker 3: and zeal to do something, but no resources. He did

342
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,560
Speaker 3: his master's in theoretical physics and studied about God and

343
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:54,160
Speaker 3: relationship with science for years. He also loves working with

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00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,720
Speaker 3: cameras and has experience in the film industry. As a dop. Yeah,

345
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,920
Speaker 3: theoretically he's going to be rich one day.

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Speaker 4: Wait, okay, well this is all sort of sounding like, yeah,

347
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,600
Speaker 4: maybe he might figure out how to put all those

348
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:08,600
Speaker 4: pieces together.

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Speaker 2: And make a giant mount of money.

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Speaker 3: But he's like, perhaps, theoretically.

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00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 4: It sounds hard, but I mean being a director of photography,

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00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,840
Speaker 4: and like, a yeah, I mean that's I mean, it

353
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,520
Speaker 4: can also be terrible money, but like, if you're in

354
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 4: the upper echelons.

355
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,560
Speaker 3: It's really good money. It really does depend on why

356
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,000
Speaker 3: a pilot right now? Then it's true, that's a good point.

357
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,120
Speaker 3: He has a drone pilot as well. However, due to

358
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,400
Speaker 3: some poor investments, he lost the money he made, so

359
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,200
Speaker 3: he took several loans and finished his training along with me.

360
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,320
Speaker 3: A little about me. I'm my father's firstborn child, and

361
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,240
Speaker 3: I started working with him in the company when I

362
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 3: was fifteen.

363
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Speaker 2: I did it.

364
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 3: Because I was interested in business. Then, at the age

365
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 3: of eighteen, I started my own company. My dad wasn't

366
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 3: really a fan of that idea, given the risks involved,

367
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 3: so in good spirit, he asked me to make it

368
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 3: on my own without his help. So I used my

369
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 3: savings and loans, some money from my friends to start

370
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,720
Speaker 3: a business. I was also a national level athlete from

371
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 3: ages eighteen to twenty one. Started playing when I was sixteen.

372
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,560
Speaker 3: Female athletes of less competition in the country I live in,

373
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 3: so I made it in two years. So even that

374
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,639
Speaker 3: helped in marketing my company since it was a sports

375
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 3: pro line. Okay, Then I started a transportation company when

376
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,560
Speaker 3: I was twenty. This company provided for all the oxygen

377
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:25,800
Speaker 3: cylinder and ventilator transport needed during the second wave of COVID.

378
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,840
Speaker 3: I started an NGO during the first wave and my

379
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 3: second wave, my team were able to provide for seventy

380
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:37,120
Speaker 3: thousand oxygen cylinders and fifty six thousand ventilators. Damn. We

381
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,879
Speaker 3: also arranged for ambulance services, hospital beds, and medical bills

382
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,800
Speaker 3: of patients who were struggling with finances. I even did

383
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,960
Speaker 3: a small art based business during COVID since everyone became

384
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,720
Speaker 3: an artist during that time. I made around one hundred

385
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,200
Speaker 3: and fifty thousand in three months doing that, so overall

386
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,399
Speaker 3: I saved eighty five thousand dollars by the time I

387
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,960
Speaker 3: turned twenty one and started my flight training.

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00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 2: Yow wow, uh impressive.

389
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 3: Dopy is so impressive and this guy wants the breup.

390
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like he, instead of worrying about the prenuptials,

391
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 4: should have been like, uh, can we get like a

392
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 4: little business contract together to make you like in charge

393
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:13,359
Speaker 4: of everything?

394
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 2: Actually, let's boost you.

395
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,760
Speaker 4: Can I make you in charge so you can make

396
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 4: us really rich please?

397
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,399
Speaker 3: Indeed, I cleared all of my exams in six months

398
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,440
Speaker 3: and started flying this year January, I got my CPL

399
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,680
Speaker 3: and in February started flying for this private charter company

400
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 3: doing my rating. Right now, I'm sorted with my savings

401
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,720
Speaker 3: and income and I will be turning twenty four next month.

402
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,640
Speaker 2: Diam bam. That is impressive.

403
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 3: Also, Socrates's dad doesn't see her potential aisle. It is

404
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 3: interesting because it seems like he's willing to make a

405
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,760
Speaker 3: deal with her boyfriend but not with her.

406
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe the prenuptials really to protect her.

407
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,240
Speaker 3: That's well, that's what I was thinking originally.

408
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what the coupit. Yeah, oh, yes, the coup.

409
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:57,360
Speaker 4: Yes.

410
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 3: Me and my boyfriend met when I was nineteen through

411
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,640
Speaker 3: our parents and we started dating. I fell in love

412
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 3: with him and confessed it to him during our flight training.

413
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 3: We both are waiting until marriage to have spicy sleep

414
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 3: and he helped me grow a deeper spiritual connection with God.

415
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 3: Last night I asked him as to why he hid

416
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 3: it from me, and his response was because he felt

417
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 3: less of a man. I freaking know it, I freaking

418
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 3: know it. He's jealous of all our success.

419
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,440
Speaker 4: Yep, he's jealous. Did Jelly, you don't want out of

420
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 4: that grape concord, Jemmy.

421
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 3: You don't want a man who can't handle a strong woman,

422
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 3: not at all. No, no, no, because you are you

423
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 3: are a strong woman. That being the man, he should

424
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 3: be the one to provide and have savings, but instead

425
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 3: it's me having a steady income and tons of savings.

426
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 3: He went on telling me how I am a rich

427
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 3: snoodie but spoiled brats and ran to Daddy whenever I

428
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,160
Speaker 3: needed something. What. Yeah, horrible thing to find out about

429
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 3: your part like that your partner thinks sad about you

430
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 3: when you've done all this work to you know, be successful.

431
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 4: Oh, you ran to Daddy to make your own business

432
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,119
Speaker 4: and make one hundred and fifty k in three months

433
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 4: and then save and become a pilot just like me.

434
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 2: You guys are come on.

435
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 3: Like, obviously she does have a leg up here because

436
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 3: she has you know, wealth from her family. But you can't, like,

437
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 3: if you want to be a good partner, you can't

438
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 3: just be like, well, you're a spoil Brown because you

439
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 3: have money, Mamma.

440
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 2: I'll say this comparison is the thief joy.

441
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 3: That is the theme of this episode, this whole stream.

442
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 3: He also told me that it was unfair he didn't

443
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 3: have rich parents. That and that is the only reason

444
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 3: why he isn't rich.

445
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 2: Okay, that's that's ridiculous.

446
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 4: Sure, sure, and that proves right there that he'll he

447
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,639
Speaker 4: will never be successful no, if he has that kind

448
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 4: of attitute his attitude, just like, oh boo hoo, I'm

449
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,920
Speaker 4: not rich because I wasn't a born righ all.

450
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 3: He expects me to be a stay at home mom.

451
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 3: I don't want to be a stay at home mom

452
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 3: since I wanted to fly. Also, he is like killing it.

453
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 3: Why would you want her to stay at home? Yeah,

454
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 3: and doesn't like that I'm still working. He went on

455
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 3: a long, very hurtful rant invalidating all the work I

456
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 3: did in all my achievements. He went on invaliding my

457
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 3: sports career as well, saying I would have never made

458
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,879
Speaker 3: it if Daddy didn't bribe my way through, which is

459
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 3: not at all true, but you know it is true.

460
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 3: You can join us live every Weekdad three bmpst just

461
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 3: top her profone no way. I heard all of that

462
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 3: in silence, and after he was done, I told him,

463
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,399
Speaker 3: since he thinks all my success is meaningless just because

464
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 3: my dad helped, he shouldn't be taking my dad's help either.

465
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,239
Speaker 4: Boom, Yeah, why don't you have a little tape? Why

466
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 4: don't you? Ah, why don't you sip what you're uh?

467
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,159
Speaker 4: Why don't you why don't you sip that?

468
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 2: I lost it? I lost it? I lost it. It's gone. Yeah,

469
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 2: why you have a taste your own medicine?

470
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 3: You got it back. I told him to make it

471
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 3: on his own, fulfill his dreams on his own, and

472
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,439
Speaker 3: broke up with him. Yus. I never involved myself in

473
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 3: relationships earlier because I was afraid of heartbreak. I don't

474
00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 3: know what got into me when I fell in love

475
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 3: with this one. He was my first love and my

476
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 3: first heartbreak. I was willing to be a tradway for

477
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 3: him once we got married, that is how much I

478
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 3: loved him, But he broke me into a million pieces.

479
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 3: I'm just a nobody for him. Nothing that I did

480
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 3: holds any value to him, and he that's because that's

481
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 3: a hymn problem. That is a hymn problem because you

482
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 3: are literally killing it. You are killing it in every

483
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 3: field that you've ever gone into, So you don't need

484
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 3: this man to hold you down.

485
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 2: He is a Wait, that guy.

486
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,880
Speaker 4: That guy's validation or invalidation of your your experience has

487
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 4: nothing to do with the reality of the situation, which

488
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 4: is not are.

489
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 2: A big balling you are and it only gets help

490
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 2: man every day.

491
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 4: Nobody does it alone. Nobody's done it alone.

492
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,360
Speaker 3: My fiance's parents are refusing to pay for our wedding

493
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 3: unless we get a prenup. And this is the last

494
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 3: prenup story of the day kind and also the last

495
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 3: story of the day. I've been his board system through

496
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 3: his entire four years of residency, not financially. We both

497
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,199
Speaker 3: took care of ourselves financially, as he has an loc

498
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 3: and we both have salary jobs. We've lived off a

499
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 3: tight budget, and he took me on very few dates

500
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 3: due to the debt. He is in what is an LLC?

501
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 4: Does anyone know Legacy Oil Company? No, that's definitely not right.

502
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 4: That's not right.

503
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 3: That's well, maybe what of you going to.

504
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 2: Think something company? Probably right loc that makes sense.

505
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 3: I've done all of the cooking, cleaning, taking care of

506
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 3: him and our dog while working full time since we

507
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 3: moved in a year and a half ago, but did

508
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 3: a significant amount for the two years prior to moving in.

509
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 3: Not that I'm keeping count, It's just the reality that

510
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 3: our relationship has been eighty percent effort for me and

511
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,159
Speaker 3: twenty percent effort from him for four years, and I

512
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,879
Speaker 3: knew that would be the case going in given his

513
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 3: work schedule right now. By the way, this comes from

514
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 3: Glittering River one nine to five on the Okay Storytime

515
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 3: Separate It who we agreed to not get a prenup

516
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,959
Speaker 3: three years ago since he has no substantial assets. We

517
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 3: agreed that once I get pregnant in two or three years,

518
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 3: I would likely quit my job and become a stay

519
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 3: at home mom. His parents, who have been actively destroying

520
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 3: our relationships since we moved in together. We've gone to

521
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 3: therapy for this. Yikes told my fiance six weeks before

522
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 3: the wedding that they are withholding their wedding contribution half

523
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 3: her wedding budget unless he gets a prenup against me.

524
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 3: So I don't get alimony if we divorced down the line,

525
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: given the vulnerable position I'd be put in as a

526
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 3: stay at home mom without a career anymore. I feel

527
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 3: really hurt and betrayed by the idea of this. That

528
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 3: is an excellent point because if she becomes a stay

529
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 3: at home mom and then he gets this, he gets

530
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 3: the prene up and stuff, she's not gonna get anything

531
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 3: and she doesn't have a job to fall back on.

532
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like you put your entire career on hold

533
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 4: and then he's just like, oh, I'm gonna leave you now.

534
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 4: It's like, well, what am I supposed to say to

535
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 4: like people who I want to hire me?

536
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 2: Like my ex husband has been piece of.

537
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 4: Garbage and it doesn't It's so hard to be a woman.

538
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 4: I can so hard say that thank you, to go

539
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,719
Speaker 4: to it. I can acknowledge it. I can't experience it,

540
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 4: but I can't acknowledge it.

541
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 3: There are reasonable laws in place for alimony without a

542
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 3: prenup given several circumstances. So to think of the possibility

543
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,679
Speaker 3: that he could leave me high and dry with a

544
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 3: newborn baby, no job, and debt still to our name

545
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 3: and zero alimony to help me get back on my

546
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 3: feet in three years from now, I feel like he

547
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 3: isn't looking to protect me at all. It seems like

548
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 3: a very selfish move. We never had financial insecurities and

549
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,199
Speaker 3: always made it work for four years, never spoke of

550
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 3: divorce or prenups. Now I hear it every day from

551
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 3: him because he's being a realist. I get it, but

552
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 3: the circumstances of this prenup seem very alarming to me.

553
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 3: What are your thoughts on this? And note it's a

554
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 3: long history with the in laws, But when I've confronted

555
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 3: them in the recent weeks to ask why they dislike me,

556
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 3: what I can do to apologize, how I can make

557
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 3: things better, they have nothing other than using therapists to

558
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 3: prove boundaries I've created against me. Slash us, like not

559
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 3: wanting mother in law coming over because she told me

560
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 3: and my fiancee to get the f out of her

561
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 3: house when he defended me for wanting silk flowers as

562
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 3: my bouquet. She half apologized for this three weeks ago,

563
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 3: but then the drama with her only spirals. So I

564
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,959
Speaker 3: don't know how my fiance expects me to welcome her.

565
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 3: Slash his dad, slash his bully sister into our home

566
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 3: in the midst of all of them destroying our future. Yep,

567
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 3: one of the sisters is part of the in law issues.

568
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 3: My fiance did consistently defend me during an hour and

569
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 3: a half confrontational discussion. Ooh, but then wedding invites went

570
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 3: out shortly after the family caused an uproar. We were

571
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: faced with the prenup ultimatum. He says, we don't need

572
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 3: their money. Good on this guy, because I was really

573
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: worried that he was gonnide.

574
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 5: With his parents.

575
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, on this guy, yep.

576
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 4: I think at the end of the day, it was

577
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,199
Speaker 4: just like it was a conversation they needed to be

578
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 4: had about like looks I understand, like the like pragmatic

579
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 4: like oh you should get the prenup, but like you

580
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 4: have to understand like my position here. And then clearly

581
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 4: the parents were the ones driving this like whole thing

582
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 4: in their.

583
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 3: Toxic sick Then two days later, Oh, he was in

584
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 3: favor of getting a prenup, so I couldn't rinse him

585
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 3: out of his money down the road. I take it back.

586
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 3: Oh wait, I take it back.

587
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 2: Oh no, we got oh we got curveballs.

588
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 3: I got Curveball.

589
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 2: Oh we got Curveball, take it back, I take it

590
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 2: back again.

591
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 3: We were always relatively on the same page with finances

592
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 3: and future plans. My fiance seems to continue wanting me

593
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 3: to forgive his family and move on neutrally with them,

594
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 3: while he maintains his normal lower contact relationship with them,

595
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 3: and I just wouldn't come around to family functions often.

596
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 3: I have forgiven them either with a I'm sorry but

597
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 3: or no apology at all several times, and they only

598
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 3: seem to get worse towards me and are relationship. But

599
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 3: my fiance wants to stay relatively in denial to this

600
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 3: reality and all the people saying w fiance have not

601
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 3: reached Yeah, take it back.

602
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 2: Take it back, Fonda, Curveball.

603
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 3: His mom is terminally ill, so I understand why it's

604
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 3: a challenging position for him to be in. But by

605
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 3: him not standing by me and defending me slash, not

606
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 3: allowing his parents and sister to negatively impact our relationship

607
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 3: flash wanting to continue casually spending time with them in

608
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 3: the midst of the lead up to what's supposed to

609
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 3: be our wedding, it only creates rising feelings of betrayal

610
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 3: and resentment. Another note our therapist mentioned my fiance seems

611
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 3: to come from an enmeshed family dynamic. And there is

612
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 3: another note. Actually I'll read that one before we get

613
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 3: to the relevant mean, I don't know. Does anyone know

614
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 3: whatshede of credit?

615
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 2: Line of credit? Now I'm a banker, I'm on Wall

616
00:28:58,760 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 2: Street with my line.

617
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 4: I know all about it, and I'm gonna make a

618
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 4: jillion dollars elon muskin the sky.

619
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 3: That's his plan. One more note from OPI. My fiance

620
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 3: saw this post and told me I'm withholding a fact

621
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 3: that needs to be shared. He wants me to mention

622
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 3: that he would split everything accumulated between the two of us,

623
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 3: well married fifty to fifty. I figured that was a

624
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 3: given in any marriage with or without a prenup, and

625
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 3: given the fact that he has two fellowships after this

626
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 3: year then needs another two years to pay off his debt,

627
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,479
Speaker 3: there won't be any actual accumulations for another five years. Anyway.

628
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 3: This leads me to feel like his family will continue

629
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 3: harassing me full force for the next five years to

630
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 3: continue trying to bully me out. And new update. Fiance

631
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 3: agreed no prenup, told off his mom and has enrolled

632
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 3: in counseling for him. Slash us, yea turn around we did.

633
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 4: We did a eight and then we did a three

634
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 4: sixty and then we did another one eighty, which makes

635
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 4: that what a a.

636
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 3: Math a match?

637
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: Sure that is nice.

638
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, we did a lot of spinnings.

639
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 3: Lot We're a little dizzy, But I think we're on

640
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 3: board with the fiance.

641
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 4: I think if fiance is like, yeah, that was bad

642
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 4: call getting counseling.

643
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 3: But there who are some relevant comments and also you

644
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 3: can join us live every week to at three pm

645
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 3: PSD just top her profile. But do we think, do

646
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 3: we think stay with this fiance? What's the solution here?

647
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 3: What's the path going forward? I think yeah, I mean

648
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 3: I think if he's willing to make the take the

649
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 3: steps to like.

650
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 4: Improve you know, his ability to like because clearly the

651
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 4: en meshed family thing, there's a lot going on there

652
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 4: because he's decided now like to not follow their advice.

653
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 2: But I think maybe I'm.

654
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 4: Just spitballing slash guessing here that the in meshed family

655
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 4: means that, like, if they make a decision, it's also

656
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 4: his decision, right, because that would be like if the

657
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 4: family wants the pre then he's got to get the

658
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 4: prenup because the family wants the prenup.

659
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 2: I see that he can't really make his own decisions.

660
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, and even if that's not the case, it seems

661
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 4: like exactly what was happening anyway.

662
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 3: Oh, radish is a dystructional relationship mattern where personal boundaries

663
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: are unclear or permeable, which.

664
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you said, yeah, because they want the prenup

665
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 4: and now it's it's permeating, it's permeating into the microphone.

666
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 2: I just, oh my god. Yeah.

667
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 4: I think if the work is getting done, like the

668
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 4: counseling and you know.

669
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: Or anything you can do and doing it together fifty

670
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 2: to fifty.

671
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I do think that. I think you have to,

672
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 3: you know, see how it goes going forward. Perhaps, I

673
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 3: think definitely counseling before marriage. Uh don't you know, don't rush,

674
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 3: maybe like slow down on the marriage.

675
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, definitely.

676
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, the rule of like you have to have two

677
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 3: years before of like no conflict before going into a marriage.

678
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 2: Oh really, Yeah, that's good advice.

679
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 3: I guess, like don't like you don't want to have

680
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 3: sounds broken up or something right before you run to

681
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 3: get married Yeah, I feel like a lot of the

682
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 3: times we read these stories, you know, there's a conflict

683
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 3: and they're about to get married and something happens and

684
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 3: they're about to break up, and then they don't and

685
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 3: they get married.

686
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 2: Anyway, Yeah, maybe just.

687
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 3: A break, take a break.

688
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 2: You can only take it one day at a time.

689
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 3: Exactly, and we can only take it one relevant comment

690
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 3: at the time.

691
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the truth.

692
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 3: And that's the and that's a that's a god given.

693
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 2: Right in the Book of Truth. Right next to bagmic.

694
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 3: Pine Box Waiting says, my asso wanted me to sign

695
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 3: a prenup to protect his assets. I was offended, but

696
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 3: eventually relented. However, he didn't like the terms of the

697
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 3: prenup I would agree to sign. In fact, when I

698
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 3: laid out my terms, he laughed and said, that's why

699
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 3: I love you. We've been married decades. Go see a lawyer.

700
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,719
Speaker 3: He doesn't want to pay alimony, fine, then any asset

701
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 3: split should be in your favor, reflecting the support you've

702
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 3: given him that enabled him to pursue his career, as

703
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 3: well as the opportunity call us. Your own career is

704
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 3: suffered by supporting him and the money you have been

705
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 3: unable to save and invest for your retirement because you've

706
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 3: been supporting him. Also, he assumes all of your personal

707
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 3: in communal debt, including any and all loan's personal end

708
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 3: joint incurred for any reason. You have to protect yourself

709
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 3: if you ever do divorce. His parents will work hard

710
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 3: to ensure he leaves you with nothing if he wants

711
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 3: to play stupid games by all means play. Do not, however,

712
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 3: sign anything without your legal representation. Really, though, are you

713
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 3: sure you want to marry someone who can't stand up

714
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 3: to his parents? Also? Are you sure this is one

715
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 3: hundred percent of his parents idea? He certainly seems to

716
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 3: like the idea, and that is the end of that story.

717
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 3: But I think I think it's just keeping an eye

718
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 3: out seeing how the therapy goes.

719
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, he has just got to take it one moment

720
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 4: in a time, you know, if he's willing to change.

721
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 4: And it's like I get the comment of being like,

722
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 4: do you want to be with someone who cancil know

723
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 4: what their parents worts?

724
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 5: Like?

725
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 4: Those kinds of dynamics can be really complex and really

726
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 4: hard to get out of, especially.

727
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're enmeshed. But I think he

728
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: came to the conclusion like, no, we don't need it.

729
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, which I think is you know, I think that

730
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 3: does say something. It says like, you know, he realized

731
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 3: that he was in the wrong, and she's agreeing to

732
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 3: go to couples counseling. So I think it's just you know,

733
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,359
Speaker 3: taking it one day at a time.

734
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here, bring it back

735
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 2: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our

736
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 2: sponsored My.

737
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 5: Wife thought I was cheating, so she searched my name

738
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 5: on Cheaterbusters myth hopefully busted. If you're like me and

739
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 5: never heard of it, it's an online Tinder profile searching

740
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 5: service where you can enter the person's first name, a

741
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 5: zip code where they might use Tinder, and a picture

742
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,399
Speaker 5: of the person. It then lets you know if they

743
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 5: found a profile for them.

744
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 1: I was so hoping it was something like MythBusters. But

745
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: oh well.

746
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from you Slash Throwaway rip

747
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,760
Speaker 5: five eight four five on the r slash Okay Storytime

748
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 5: subbredd it. So my wife forty one female and I

749
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,720
Speaker 5: forty five mail have full access to each other's everything.

750
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 5: We use each other's phones, We regularly log into each

751
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 5: other's browsers when we need access to a pair of

752
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 5: bill or get two fa code from an email. I

753
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 5: do all the money stuff. So today I logged into

754
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 5: her Google account to get a username and password for

755
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 5: one of our credit card accounts that I didn't have

756
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,360
Speaker 5: saved in my browser. When I scrolled to the c's

757
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,720
Speaker 5: in her Chrome password manager, I saw a saved un

758
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 5: and PW for a website called Cheaterbusters.

759
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: It's just for her girlfriend.

760
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, not for her, no.

761
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 5: I looked at the login info, then logged in using incognito.

762
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 5: I found two searches for me. I can't tell when

763
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 5: they were when they were ran, and I can't tell

764
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 5: how the searches were paid for. But we've never had

765
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,399
Speaker 5: issues with infidelity. She's never shown any signs of doubt

766
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 5: about my faithfulness nor I towards her. I want to

767
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 5: bring this up, and I will, but I'm trying to

768
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,800
Speaker 5: figure out how upset I am about this. On the

769
00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,919
Speaker 5: one hand, I can imagine she read an article about

770
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 5: how many husbands used tender secretly and just had a

771
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 5: weird reaction and did a search. But on the other

772
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 5: she ran two searches. I'm not sure how troubling it

773
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 5: is for a spouse to have these kinds of doubts

774
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 5: without ever saying or doing anything that I would notice.

775
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 5: And there is an update, But what do we think

776
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 5: so far?

777
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: I would love to see when those searches were made.

778
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 6: Ooh, like how far apart they were, maybe before part

779
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 6: they were and when they were so you can kind

780
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 6: of gauze. Okay, we were having some issues about this

781
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 6: right right, and.

782
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 5: Then it just lines out like directly after That would

783
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 5: be crazy. What if it was just like in the

784
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:41,719
Speaker 5: middle of like nothing, nothing happened, They didn't have any problems.

785
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,760
Speaker 5: She was just looking at this. Yeah, a little little weird,

786
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 5: but let's get into the update. My wife and I

787
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 5: both work from home and have lunches together Tuesday and Thursday,

788
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 5: so I planned to bring this up at lunch. I

789
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 5: read all the comments and wow, was blown away at

790
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 5: the number of comments out of my and she is

791
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:05,359
Speaker 5: projecting her own misdeeds through these searches. That's a good point.

792
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 5: That does happen a lot.

793
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 1: A lot of people that cheat are like, you can't cheat,

794
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: you can't do this. Yeah, and they're the ones that

795
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 1: are act Ooh.

796
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 5: Let's see if that's what it is. To all of

797
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 5: you who have warned me not to fall victim to

798
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:20,240
Speaker 5: that mentality, thank you for saying so, but rest assured

799
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 5: it never even entered my mind as a possibility. What

800
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 5: I didn't include in my post was that we've been

801
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 5: struggling to connect for a while, but that we've acknowledged

802
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 5: it and know the root issue and that is we,

803
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 5: and by we I mean mostly my wife have had

804
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 5: her hands completely full with our two and a half

805
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 5: year old daughter who has had developmental issues that has

806
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 5: forced a lot more attention and care compared to your

807
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 5: typical two and a half year old. This is where

808
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 5: ninety percent of her mental and physical energy has been

809
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 5: the last three years. So I know she doesn't have

810
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 5: the wherewithal to even entertain the idea of an affair,

811
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 5: and to that she is in full I want another

812
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 5: baby mode right now, Give me.

813
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 1: A baby, so she does every time from work, give

814
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,439
Speaker 1: me the baby.

815
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 3: Yep, that's what.

816
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: That's what women do when they want a child, right.

817
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 5: For sure, for sure. So she's in baby mode right now,

818
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 5: running hormone screens each morning, timing are spicy sleep around

819
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,760
Speaker 5: her cycle and this is where the other ten percent

820
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 5: of her energy has been spent the last six months.

821
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 1: Dude, I was listening to a podcast where these people

822
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 1: were trying for a baby. I guess so many times

823
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,000
Speaker 1: they did it in a month?

824
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 5: In a month, yes, how many?

825
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 1: Guess?

826
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 5: I don't know, like twenty fifty fifty times.

827
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,280
Speaker 1: It would try like three times a day near her

828
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: ovulating time, or even five.

829
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,959
Speaker 5: Oh wow, I don't it's crazy to say to that.

830
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 5: That's why, that's why, why, that's a lot. Okay, Now

831
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 5: to the update with how our last two to three

832
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 5: years has been. I expected sometime in this window was

833
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 5: when she ran the searches. My wife is the one

834
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 5: who does most of the night time time work keeping

835
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 5: our daughter asleep, and since that's what is happening in

836
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,720
Speaker 5: what was formerly our marital bed, I have been sleeping

837
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 5: in the guest room almost the entire two and a

838
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 5: half years. As about as of about nine pm each night,

839
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 5: I have a chance to unwind, watch some TV, scroll

840
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 5: through Reddit, and go to bed whenever I want. What

841
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 5: I learned at lunch today was this dynamic has at

842
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 5: times triggered an awareness in her that I could honestly

843
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 5: be spending my nights doing anything I want, and that

844
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 5: she would have no way of knowing.

845
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 2: I never thought about it, But yeah.

846
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 5: I could actually be spending my nights at someone else's

847
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 5: place as long as I was home by the time

848
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 5: they woke up in the morning and I'd never be caught.

849
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 1: That doesn't give you an excuse to run cheap busters.

850
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 5: Not well, yeah, I guess, I guess you would talk. Okay, okay,

851
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 5: you're not gonna do it.

852
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I don't know.

853
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 5: I mean, I get that concern, but I definitely talked

854
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 5: to him before.

855
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: But this seems like a family camera that has like

856
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: no all that all that is happening.

857
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,399
Speaker 5: I just think it's funny that that He's like, yeah,

858
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 5: you know, I never thought about it before.

859
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 3: But that is a good point.

860
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 5: I definitely could be going often and doing god knows

861
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 5: what out on the town.

862
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 1: Good for you for checking on checking on me on

863
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 1: that website. I feel I appreciate that.

864
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 5: He's got some good ideas. Now, that's what I'm thinking.

865
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 5: He's like, oh, didn't even think of that. As for

866
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 5: our conversation where I learned this today, I started in Juvielli.

867
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 5: I'm not sure if I'm saying that right. When we

868
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 5: sat down with our lunch. I simply said, so, I

869
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 5: have a question for you. She was like, oh, no,

870
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 5: realizing whatever I was about to bring up was gonna

871
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 5: be important, but not something she'd have to be defensive about.

872
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: So now they're bringing this up after her being like,

873
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,280
Speaker 1: who knows, God knows what you're doing in that room

874
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: or at night.

875
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 6: For a second, I was thinking, this was like before,

876
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 6: I haven't even brought this up yet.

877
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 5: So when's the last time you ran a search to

878
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 5: see if I had a Tinder profile on Cheeterbuster. I

879
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 5: asked it at point blank. She then attempted to say

880
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 5: she had no idea what I was talking about, but

881
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 5: I plainly called bs and asked her genuinely for us

882
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,760
Speaker 5: to move past that flight response and be honest.

883
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:17,479
Speaker 1: That's good.

884
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 3: That is good.

885
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 5: I like she was embarrassed more than anything. These thoughts

886
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 5: she's had were at their worst the first six months

887
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,280
Speaker 5: of our daughter's life, when we were at our most distant,

888
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 5: our most volatile, and when I was more of a robot,

889
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 5: just doing whatever I could do to serve as supporting role,

890
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 5: doing the things around the house my wife didn't have

891
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,280
Speaker 5: the time or energy to do, like the money stuff

892
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 5: referenced in my first post. The last few months, we've

893
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 5: found each other as much as we can, taking steps

894
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 5: to intentionally spend time together just the two of us,

895
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 5: like our scheduled lunches twice a week, and we went

896
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 5: on to have a really great conversation about all of

897
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 5: this today. I had no idea these thoughts even went

898
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 5: through her head. I was floored by the fact that

899
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 5: she could envision a way more fun lifestyle for me

900
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 5: night going out having a great time hooking up with

901
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 5: women all over town, while I have found actual contentment

902
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 5: just having a bowl of cereal late at night while

903
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 5: watching YouTube golf. By the way, you can enjoy your

904
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 5: late nights by joining us live on YouTube every weekday

905
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 5: at three pm PSD. Just tap part profile. In the end,

906
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 5: it made sense how the first year of our daughter's

907
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 5: life could have put my wife in a weird enough

908
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 5: headspace that she could envision me going out and finding

909
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 5: a better life. She honestly said, I wouldn't blame you

910
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 5: if you wanted to.

911
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 2: That's sad.

912
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 6: She probaby a super low self esteem with yourself. Yeah,

913
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 6: I mean she's probably exhausted too. She just had a baby,

914
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 6: Like that's a lot. So while she was embarrassed. She

915
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,879
Speaker 6: ran those searches a couple of years ago. I let

916
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,800
Speaker 6: her off the hook, knowing, letting her know I could

917
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 6: see how her mind could have gone there. The rest

918
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 6: of the lunch was great, and our day ended with

919
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 6: me finding a no on the kitchen counter when I

920
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 6: got home from soccer practice after she and our daughter

921
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 6: had already gone to bed. Leftovers are in the fridge.

922
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:08,319
Speaker 6: If you dare eat what I tried. That's cute, and

923
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 6: that's the end of our story. That's super cicue.

924
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: That's nice. I don't know if I would have this

925
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: kind of.

926
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, what do you think? What do you think if.

927
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: You ran that on me? I think they ended up

928
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 1: on a right term. They talked it through. It seemed nice.

929
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 1: It's kind of crazy. He didn't make a big deal

930
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: out of it. Maybe these are just two adult mare people.

931
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, I honestly don't think it's that bad. Like I think.

932
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 5: I think, Yeah, it's like a little weird to go

933
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 5: on cheeterbusters, like just talk to your husband. But I

934
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 5: feel like whatever point she was at, it was at

935
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 5: their most distance, so maybe she didn't feel like she

936
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 5: really could. And I think the fact that she didn't

937
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 5: bring it up, you know, Like she wasn't the one

938
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 5: that like said, hey I looked on this website, you know,

939
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 5: and I found your name, you know what I mean? Like,

940
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 5: I feel like it would have been a lot worse

941
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 5: if she did that. She just kind of like looked

942
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 5: at it to like satisfy her own fears and then left.

943
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: As the husband, do you just go ahead and make

944
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:03,280
Speaker 1: a tender account?

945
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 5: No?

946
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 1: What so now you know if she's like checking on

947
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: you again, I don't think, hey, alerted, Hey, why are

948
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: you on tender babe? Are you cheating on me?

949
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 4: Now?

950
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, why are you looking to see

951
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 1: if I'm cheating on you? I thought we already covered this.

952
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 5: No kind of I don't like it because she's not

953
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 5: gonna know.

954
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 3: It's not because.

955
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 1: He will know.

956
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 5: He's not going to know if she if he's like

957
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 5: actually thinking, that's the thing. I feel like it's way

958
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 5: more suspicious to just have an unused account than to

959
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,240
Speaker 5: have a cheaterbuster's account.

960
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:42,320
Speaker 1: In my opinion, I agree, Yeah, that's the episode.

961
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 3: My boyfriend always belittles my feelings, so I copied his

962
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 3: behavior and now he's furious. I twenty female have been

963
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,240
Speaker 3: with my boyfriend twenty one male for about three years now. Today,

964
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 3: my boyfriend and I got into an argument after our

965
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 3: power went out and I wasn't happy with him. We

966
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,919
Speaker 3: were relaxing on our phones before the power went out.

967
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 3: We regularly sit in silence, which neither is normally happy about,

968
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 3: but we just ignore it. This sounds so another like, yeah,

969
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 3: we don't like how the relationship's going.

970
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 5: But we'll just keep moving. Really upset around each other,

971
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 5: but like fine, fine.

972
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 3: We were briefly discussing how Trump's life was almost taken.

973
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 3: I was watching a video and discussed it with him

974
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,439
Speaker 3: on what I found surprising. By the way, this comes

975
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 3: from Slaney Marvel thirty five one eight on the r

976
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 3: slash shokey story Time subpret it. So as I'm talking

977
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:34,439
Speaker 3: about it, he answers short, and after everything I said,

978
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 3: he says, I know. I felt kind of shut down,

979
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 3: but kept attempting to make conversation. I brought up how

980
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 3: Trump's ear was injured. Without looking at me still, he

981
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 3: again said, do you know? I tried one last time

982
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 3: and brought up how someone's life was taken At the time,

983
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 3: he laughed at how I worded it, and when I

984
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 3: said it. I had worded it like I'm getting news

985
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 3: now that someone had and before I could finish, he

986
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 3: laughed and said, oh, is that right, news reporter op.

987
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 3: I was a little hurt given his mocking tone. I

988
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 3: felt cut off and embarrassed by how he laughed at me.

989
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 3: I stared blankly at him. He just looked at me

990
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 3: with confusion.

991
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 5: After laughing for three solid minutes, three minutes you laugh,

992
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:17,359
Speaker 5: You're not that funny? Three minutes long, I was laughing, Yes,

993
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 5: that's he was like, God, who was reporter?

994
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 4: Ah?

995
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 5: And then that went on, Yeah, I know he's he

996
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 5: thinks he's a lot of funny than he is.

997
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 3: I felt embarrassed and felt like he was laughing like

998
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 3: I was a know it all. It hurt my feelings

999
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 3: how much he laughed. Maybe I could have lightened up,

1000
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 3: but I felt mocked. I let him know how it

1001
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 3: made me feel mocked and made fun of while laughing.

1002
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:43,239
Speaker 3: He gave a small apology. I was still hurt and

1003
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 3: shut down. He kept prodding at me, asking what's wrong

1004
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 3: again and again. After I had stated my feelings were

1005
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:53,959
Speaker 3: hurt and explained how, he was still clueless. Even after

1006
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 3: explaining in depth my pov. He still drew a blank. Meanwhile,

1007
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,279
Speaker 3: the power was still out and there is some context,

1008
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 3: and to finish the story off, we only get context.

1009
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 5: That's just like like she literally told you what's wrong.

1010
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, I don't understand. She's like, you were

1011
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 3: rude to me and ridiculed me when I was talking

1012
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 3: to you about the news. He was like, it's not

1013
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 3: adding up right, I just but but why though you

1014
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 3: just be on your period adding up here, that's time

1015
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 3: of the month. No, it's just so rude. It's like

1016
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 3: you're it's it's like whenever you're talking to a partner

1017
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 3: about like your interest. Yeah, like yeah, I don't care

1018
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 3: about this.

1019
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, and like any conversation at all, Like it's not

1020
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 5: like any yeah yeah, Like it's not like he was

1021
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 5: trying to have a different conversation and like she was

1022
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 5: trying to have any sort of like communication between the

1023
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 5: two and he was just laughing the whole thing off.

1024
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 3: That seems like they also just have in general issues

1025
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 3: with silence.

1026
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1027
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 5: Maybe they just don't like hanging out with each other.

1028
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 3: Maybe they just don't like each other.

1029
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 5: I feel like that's important in a relationship. I don't know,

1030
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 5: spending time with them. But but there is some context.

1031
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 5: Maybe we'll find out if there's some other good things

1032
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 5: about this guy.

1033
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 2: Hopefully he's a good guy.

1034
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 3: Overall, but I'm his first serious relationship and I'm the

1035
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 3: longest he's ever dated a woman, so he tends to

1036
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 3: forget that I'm actually here for him. We have had

1037
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,280
Speaker 3: troubles in our relationship due to his lack of understanding empathy,

1038
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 3: not giving reassurance, and me not having patience having to

1039
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 3: forgive his repeated actions. He also is a past of

1040
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,799
Speaker 3: getting angry and not respecting my boundaries. I am someone

1041
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 3: who values clear communication, compassion, respect, honesty, and boundaries, especially

1042
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 3: in a relationship. My values haven't been treated well recently.

1043
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 3: We had an argument where he didn't show remorse, empathy

1044
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 3: and reassurance during his apologies lately. But he's a good

1045
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:58,959
Speaker 3: guy overall overall, just like everything else about him, he's bad.

1046
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,760
Speaker 3: But try me. If you knew him right, you'd probably

1047
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:03,399
Speaker 3: not like him.

1048
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 5: You'd feel just like I fitable when I discuss how

1049
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 5: I'd feel in ten different ways, and he had been

1050
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 5: clueless for why I'd feel upset in situations.

1051
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 3: It mess. It's messed with how much. I lean on

1052
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 3: him emotionally, but still give my all when he's had

1053
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 3: a problem. This argument shows exactly how he's reacted when

1054
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 3: I've had an issue. After him laughing at me, we

1055
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 3: zoomed out on our phones and let the situation be.

1056
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 3: He then said to me, I want to talk to

1057
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 3: you about something, but I don't want to cause a fight.

1058
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 3: I then said, well, you don't have to if you're

1059
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 3: not comfortable. He didn't like that. Keep in mind, I'm

1060
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 3: about to act like him. He then said, well, that's

1061
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 3: not how I thought you'd react, and then asked how

1062
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 3: he wanted me to react like he would often ask me.

1063
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 3: He then said, well, I was hoping you'd give me

1064
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 3: reassurance and encouraged me to talk about it since I'm

1065
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 3: safe to talk to you. I wasn't in the mood

1066
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 3: to play his games because in the past, when I've

1067
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 3: been in his situation, he never showed as much care

1068
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,879
Speaker 3: as I have. I said, well, you said you didn't

1069
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 3: feel safe to talk to me, so why would I

1070
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 3: push it. He didn't like my response. He was expecting

1071
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,880
Speaker 3: me to baby him, and I wasn't about to do

1072
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 3: that for him. When the day prior he showed no

1073
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 3: urgency for taking care of my feelings. He said, why

1074
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 3: can't you just say stuff like I'm here for you

1075
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 3: if you want to talk, it's safe for you, and

1076
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 3: that you care about me. I finally got the opportunity

1077
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 3: to say what he says all the time. I practically smiled.

1078
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 3: Getting the chance, let's hear it. I repeated exactly what

1079
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,360
Speaker 3: he had just stated, he wants to hear much like

1080
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:37,439
Speaker 3: how he does to me. He got upset. I knew

1081
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 3: his buttons were pushed. There was silence. Now, I know

1082
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 3: what you're thinking. Why not be the bigger person? Why

1083
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 3: not just break up with him? Why are you trying

1084
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 3: to get even instead of being there for him and

1085
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 3: setting a good example? All grade points, those are great points.

1086
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 3: I think if you're trying to one up your partner,

1087
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 3: probably not the best relationship.

1088
00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I feel like, yeah, if you're in the

1089
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 5: place where you feel you have to treat getting get

1090
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 5: him back, right, and especially like getting him back is

1091
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 5: just treating him how he's treating you.

1092
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, that shouldn't.

1093
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 5: It's just all bad.

1094
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 3: It's just not a good relationship. However, I have never

1095
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 3: once felt one hundred percent safe to discuss my feelings

1096
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 3: without him being a little clueless on how to help me.

1097
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 3: Imagine when you're at your lowest and your partner says, well,

1098
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 3: what do you want me to do? Or well, what

1099
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,280
Speaker 3: do you want me to do? It destroys you. After

1100
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 3: three years, She's been in this relationship for three years,

1101
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 3: girl hard and I had warned him that if he

1102
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 3: continued to dismiss my feelings and not give me the

1103
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 3: care I give him, that I'm going to treat him

1104
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 3: how he treats me. And he said he understood. Okay,

1105
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 3: so at least if he gave him a warning, He's like,

1106
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 3: I have this, see what I'm gonna do. So after

1107
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,280
Speaker 3: three years, I'm tired of teaching him the same lesson

1108
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 3: he clearly isn't going to learn. So I was at

1109
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 3: my breaking point. I finally got my point across when

1110
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 3: I said what do you want me to do? He

1111
00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 3: sounded just like me The following day when I was pracked,

1112
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 3: particularly begging him to give a caring apology and to

1113
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 3: show any sign of care to a problem I was having. Finally,

1114
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 3: the nail in the coffin, I said one more of

1115
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 3: his famous quotes. I said, do you realize I've been

1116
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 3: behaving like you this whole time. He looked away and said, no,

1117
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 3: that's not how I act at all. OHP said one

1118
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 3: of the famous quotes, and then was like, see this

1119
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 3: is how you act. So we don't actually know what

1120
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 3: the famous quote is.

1121
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:28,879
Speaker 5: I think, oh, that's really sad.

1122
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 3: I wanted to know what line. But you know what,

1123
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,399
Speaker 3: you know, you can join us live. Marita did three

1124
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 3: pmpst to stuff a profile. That's right. My thought process is,

1125
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 3: if he's really gonna say no over and over again,

1126
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 3: he clearly hasn't taken responsibility for hurting me in the

1127
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 3: past and present. Finally, I said his favorite line, what

1128
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 3: doesn't bother me? So a line that has killed me

1129
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 3: again and again on the inside when I felt so alone,

1130
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 3: I didn't care. He said he can't even look at

1131
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:02,239
Speaker 3: me and turned his phone light on and is now

1132
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 3: in the living room. Am I the a hole forgiving

1133
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 3: my boyfriend a taste of his own medicine to make

1134
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 3: my point that hasn't been proven over three years?

1135
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 5: No?

1136
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 3: Yes, and no, okay no, because you told him in advance,

1137
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 3: and also he's just been pretty terrible. But yeah, yes

1138
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 3: to yourself, because why are you still in this three

1139
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 3: year relationship with a guy who's terrible and it doesn't

1140
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 3: care about your emotions.

1141
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 5: I think he deserves every second of that because I

1142
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 5: personally don't.

1143
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 3: I personally I don't like him. Something about him just

1144
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 3: rubs me the wrong way.

1145
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:40,879
Speaker 5: Like I feel like that's totally fine, because I feel

1146
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 5: like it's possible to be the bigger person in a

1147
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 5: situation like that, and like I've been the bigger person

1148
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 5: in certain situations and then I've left it being like

1149
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:52,920
Speaker 5: I didn't even tell them that I was upset, you know.

1150
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 5: Even so it's like I feel like, you know, not

1151
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 5: thinking about getting revenge, but at least just like saying,

1152
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 5: you know why his actions were so bad, And I

1153
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 5: mean she kind of showed it to him, which is

1154
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 5: a little bit more revengeful.

1155
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 3: But I think that again, I mean, I think that

1156
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 3: she should have broken up with him ages ago. But

1157
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:16,440
Speaker 3: I think if this doesn't change anything, she needs to

1158
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 3: break up with him, oh yeah, oh desperately. So like

1159
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 3: it doesn't sound like there's a good part in this relation.

1160
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't. We didn't hear any of the

1161
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 3: good guy. I feel like sometimes we get these Reddit

1162
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:28,319
Speaker 3: stories and they're like, oh, no, he's a good guy,

1163
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:30,840
Speaker 3: and we just never hear anything about that because I

1164
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:33,320
Speaker 3: don't know it's yeah anymore. I need proof.

1165
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 5: You shouldn't have to know someone like really deep to

1166
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:37,760
Speaker 5: know that they're a good person.

1167
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 3: It should be at least surface level.

1168
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:40,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, like pretty apparent.

1169
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:43,400
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Jan here, og ho's of the show. We're

1170
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 2: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a

1171
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:46,720
Speaker 2: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1172
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 3: My ex's girlfriend demanded my daughter's heirloom jewelry. I refused.

1173
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 2: Ooh.

1174
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 3: I forty female and my ex we'll call him Joe

1175
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 3: forty one male, were high school sweethearts, started dating when

1176
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:06,280
Speaker 3: we were seventeen, married at nineteen, and divorced twenty years later. Wow,

1177
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 3: so going on two years now. We have an amazing daughter, Sarah,

1178
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 3: who is eight and has adjusted really well to the separation.

1179
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Artistic Contact three three

1180
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 3: eight on the r slash Okay storytime suburdit. Joe and

1181
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 3: I get along great. The divorce was amicable and we're

1182
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 3: still good friends. Not like we hang out alone or anything,

1183
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 3: but we don't argue or fuss at each other, help

1184
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 3: each other out and just overall have each other's backs

1185
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,799
Speaker 3: because at the end of the day, our number one

1186
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 3: priority will always be Sarah and doing what is best

1187
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:40,280
Speaker 3: for her. We both moved on and are in serious

1188
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,760
Speaker 3: long term relationships with other people. His girlfriend, Lily forty

1189
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 3: six female, is great and really good for him. I

1190
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,840
Speaker 3: have never had any conflict with her and enjoy spending

1191
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,239
Speaker 3: time with her when we all get together for holidays

1192
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:57,720
Speaker 3: and other important events or celebrations. Until last week. Oh no, Lily,

1193
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 3: what did you do? Joe's parents passed away within a

1194
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,800
Speaker 3: month of each other last summer, and it was devastating

1195
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 3: for all of us. Even though Joe and I had

1196
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 3: already been divorced for about a year, they still treated

1197
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 3: me like family and I loved them dearly. Joe and

1198
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 3: Lily hadn't started dating yet, so she never met them,

1199
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 3: which is a shame. They were incredible people, crazy that

1200
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 3: they both passed away. Like, I know, did it?

1201
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 5: Say?

1202
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 3: What year?

1203
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 5: That was?

1204
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:23,280
Speaker 3: Last summer?

1205
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:25,840
Speaker 5: Just last summer? Wow, it's really hard.

1206
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 3: That is really hard, long story to get to the point,

1207
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 3: but I feel like the background is important. Last week,

1208
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 3: Sarah got a box in the mail from her aunt,

1209
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 3: who was responsible for dividing up my late mother in

1210
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,440
Speaker 3: law's jewelry amongst the kids and grandkids. She had a

1211
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 3: huge collection of both costume and more expensive fine jewelry.

1212
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 3: I let Joe know about it, and he explained that

1213
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 3: some of it was left to me. When he would

1214
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,839
Speaker 3: come over we could sort through it together. Lily came

1215
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:54,799
Speaker 3: with him, which was fine. It was extremely difficult and

1216
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 3: we were both very emotional, so I'm glad she was

1217
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 3: there to support him years where I think I may

1218
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,719
Speaker 3: be the a hole. As we were going through the jewelry,

1219
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 3: we had pulled out a couple of cheaper pieces of

1220
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 3: costume jewelry for Sarah to have now, and I have

1221
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 3: picked out a couple of rings, a necklace, and three

1222
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 3: pairs of earrings to keep, knowing that they will eventually

1223
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 3: go to Sarah as well. Joe and I agree that

1224
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,600
Speaker 3: the rest of it would be put away in the

1225
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 3: lock box that we each have a key to at

1226
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 3: my house and would stay there until Sarah is older

1227
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 3: and it goes to her. One of the pieces being

1228
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 3: put away is a beautiful set of ruby and diamond

1229
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 3: earrings and necklace that are obviously very real and we

1230
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 3: believe were passed down from Joe's grandmother. Lily has been

1231
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 3: admiring the set and making comments about how well it

1232
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 3: would go with the wedding dress she has been looking at.

1233
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 3: They aren't engaged or even with some of her date

1234
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 3: night outfits. Oh ah, the audacity to be like, oh,

1235
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 3: that would look really nice your your daughter's jewelry.

1236
00:57:56,640 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, with a wedding dress. I haven't even been proposed to. Yeah,

1237
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 5: So it's just like assuming on multiple fronts here, right right,

1238
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 5: Oh my good, She's a dreamer. I'll give her that.

1239
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 3: She's a dreamer. Joe didn't say anything to her in response,

1240
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 3: and when she put them down, I wrapped them back

1241
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 3: up and put them along with the rest of the

1242
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 3: jewelry in the lock box. Since then, Lily has texted

1243
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 3: me multiple times asking about them and if she can

1244
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 3: just borrow them.

1245
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 2: I don't trust her.

1246
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 3: I don't trust Lily one bit. Get niggrubby paused off

1247
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 3: the jewelry. At one point, she accused me of just

1248
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 3: wanting them for myself and pointed out that Joe and

1249
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 3: I were divorced and I didn't have any right to

1250
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 3: keep them. She's also said that when they get married,

1251
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 3: the jewelry will legally be part of their marital assets anyway,

1252
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:45,440
Speaker 3: so I'm just putting off the inevitable. I am not

1253
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 3: planning on wearing them. Per my agreement with Joe. I'll

1254
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 3: wear the pieces I picked out and the rest will

1255
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 3: stay put away for Sarah. I have zero intention of

1256
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 3: taking any of it out unless it's necessary, and even

1257
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 3: then I'll let Joe know what's going on with it.

1258
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,200
Speaker 3: Joe has been radio silent and I haven't said anything

1259
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 3: because I don't want to cause any conflict that could

1260
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 3: have an impact on Sarah. So am I the a

1261
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 3: hole for not giving in and letting Lily have some

1262
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 3: of the jewelry meant for my daughter? And there is

1263
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 3: an update? But what are your thoughts?

1264
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 5: I think Lily's being really weird, very weird, Like it's

1265
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 5: not it's not Ope's jewelry. This is specifically going to

1266
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 5: her daughter, which she just lost her grandmother, right, like

1267
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 5: it's it's I feel like Lily thinks that she's taking

1268
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 5: it from Ope, but it's like, no, it's Op. He's

1269
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 5: holding on to it for the daughter. Yeah, Like that's crazy.

1270
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 3: And also all of her excuses are like, oh, well,

1271
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 3: when I'm married, I'll get it anyway, you know, yeah,

1272
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 3: about to get married to look good for the wedding.

1273
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 3: But yeah, there's been no proposal, not at all. I'd

1274
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 3: be like, okay, well, you know, let me know when

1275
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 3: you guys get married, and then we'll wait to have

1276
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 3: a chat.

1277
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,560
Speaker 5: But what you get it's almost like like asking for

1278
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 5: an advance in your paycheck. Yes, like that, but in

1279
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 5: this situation you really can't do that.

1280
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would like in advance in my paycheck from

1281
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 3: for like a year from now. Yeah, like when I

1282
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 3: haven't even been hired. Like that's what it is.

1283
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 5: Yes, It's like you're in the interview and you're like, yeah,

1284
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 5: when can I expect my paycheck?

1285
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:15,400
Speaker 2: Right?

1286
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 5: Like I appreciate that. I'm so glad things are looking

1287
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 5: good that I'm probably gonna get hired hopefully.

1288
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I could just send me that over, yay, Like.

1289
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 5: Since you're probably gonna hire me, I'm probably gonna work

1290
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 5: there and I'm gonna be amazing, it's inevitable, just like

1291
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 5: give me the money now, because yeah, that's update.

1292
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 3: Though. Joe took an extended lunch yesterday and came by

1293
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 3: the house without Lily. I explained to him why I

1294
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 3: was reluctant to bring everything up, but I was tired

1295
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,840
Speaker 3: of being harassed about the jewelry, and then I feel

1296
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 3: strongly about it belonging to Sarah, not to either of us,

1297
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:48,800
Speaker 3: and certainly not to Lily.

1298
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's very reasonable about the children. About the children.

1299
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 3: He agreed immediately, and was shocked to find out that

1300
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,800
Speaker 3: she had been asking about it, and then angry when

1301
01:00:57,840 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 3: I showed him the messages so he didn't even know.

1302
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 3: He didn't know, embarrassing. I figure the best course of

1303
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 3: action was a face to face conversation with him and

1304
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 3: being able to hand him my phone so he could

1305
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 3: see the conversation for himself and there would be no

1306
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 3: way for her to accuse me of making it up

1307
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 3: or photoshopping anything. There, you go, give him proof, Yeah,

1308
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:20,160
Speaker 3: that's all you need. Yeah. It sucked to see him

1309
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:22,200
Speaker 3: so upset over it, and I have a feeling that

1310
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 3: it's going to get worse because from what he's saying,

1311
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 3: it sounds like Lily won't be around much longer, and regardless,

1312
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 3: she won't be allowed back in my home and won't

1313
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 3: be spending any time with Sarah alone if he doesn't

1314
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:38,360
Speaker 3: break up with her. Whoa so much for her wedding.

1315
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,800
Speaker 3: Don't count your chickens before they hatch. There you go, yeah,

1316
01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:44,520
Speaker 3: or you'll get broken up with. I did also go

1317
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 3: first thing yesterday morning and open a safe deposit box

1318
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,160
Speaker 3: at one of the local banks. It's not the one

1319
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 3: I normally do business with, and as of right now,

1320
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,280
Speaker 3: my name is the only one on it and I

1321
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 3: have the only key. I was worried about the possibility

1322
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 3: of Lily having any kind of access to the jewelry

1323
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 3: with it being in the house, and until all of

1324
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 3: that is resolved, I feel better knowing that there's no

1325
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,120
Speaker 3: way for her to get to it. Joe and I

1326
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 3: also discussed this when he came over, and he said

1327
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:13,680
Speaker 3: that he agrees completely and that it's the best course

1328
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 3: of action to safeguard Sarah's inheritance. I love that they're

1329
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,280
Speaker 3: on the same page, Like he's not just defending his girlfriends.

1330
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 5: Like successful co parenting.

1331
01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, they know how to do it. They figured it out. Yeah,

1332
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 3: that's what you get from twenty years of marriage.

1333
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:27,760
Speaker 5: I guess all about the children.

1334
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,440
Speaker 3: All but one of the pieces I picked out also

1335
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 3: went in And as much as I would love to

1336
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 3: have a couple of the other pieces to wear in

1337
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 3: remembrance of her on the really hard days. I would

1338
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:40,600
Speaker 3: rather know it's safe and still have the one piece

1339
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 3: that brings me so much comfort. That's sweet.

1340
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,080
Speaker 5: That's another point too, is that Lily didn't even know them.

1341
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:49,040
Speaker 3: No, he's Lily never met them, not at all. He

1342
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 3: literally has a connection of like twenty years.

1343
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 5: Decades. Yeah, that's decades. Yeah.

1344
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 3: All kinds of notarized documents will be on their way

1345
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 3: to me and should be here by the end of

1346
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 3: the week, when I have a meeting set up with

1347
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:05,120
Speaker 3: a lawyer to determine what else needs to be done

1348
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 3: to ensure that the jewelry will go to Sarah without

1349
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:10,600
Speaker 3: any issues or challenges. I spoke to the aunt that

1350
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 3: sent everything over the weekend after I posted this and

1351
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:16,160
Speaker 3: got so much good advice, thank you all, and requested

1352
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 3: she send copies of everything pertaining to it, along with

1353
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 3: documentation from her as the executor of what was sent

1354
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 3: to who, etc. I didn't tell her about the issues

1355
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:28,040
Speaker 3: with Lily. I don't think that's my place, and I'll

1356
01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 3: let Joe deal with telling his family or not as

1357
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 3: he sees fit, which I think is fair. I mean,

1358
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 3: this is his family and Opie's kind of on still,

1359
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 3: I mean a part of it, but not in the

1360
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 3: same extent that he is.

1361
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:41,280
Speaker 4: Right.

1362
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:44,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, he can let them know. Good move. I have

1363
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 3: an appointment later today with the GIA certified appraiser, so

1364
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,520
Speaker 3: I should be able to take all of that with

1365
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:52,240
Speaker 3: me to the lawyer, as well as the pictures and

1366
01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 3: video that I took of each piece last night. I'm

1367
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,640
Speaker 3: still leaning towards a trust as the best way to

1368
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 3: make sure Sarah's interests and assets are protected, but we'll

1369
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,760
Speaker 3: see what the lawyer says and go from there. I

1370
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 3: feel terrible for Joe. He's a great guy, and even

1371
01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 3: though our marriage didn't work out, I still care about

1372
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:12,760
Speaker 3: him and always will. He's not just my child's father

1373
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 3: but also one of my best friends, and I want

1374
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,400
Speaker 3: him to find someone to be with that loves him

1375
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 3: the way he deserves to be loved. It's just that

1376
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:22,480
Speaker 3: whoever that is needs to understand that Sarah is always

1377
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:25,040
Speaker 3: going to come first, and he and I will always

1378
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:28,080
Speaker 3: work as a team to make sure that she's happy, healthy,

1379
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:31,160
Speaker 3: and successful in life. Our relationships with each other and

1380
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:33,720
Speaker 3: other people aren't going to hinder her in any way,

1381
01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:37,240
Speaker 3: and there's nothing that's going to hinder you from joining

1382
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:40,840
Speaker 3: us live every weekday at through pmpst' STAPERPOFA. Thank you

1383
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 3: to everyone that commented and offered so much good advice

1384
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 3: and support. I really do appreciate all of it more

1385
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 3: than I can tell you. I didn't expect this to

1386
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:51,880
Speaker 3: blow up the way it did, and it's really overwhelming,

1387
01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 3: to be honest. I probably won't update any more or

1388
01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 3: add anything else to this, so thank you.

1389
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:58,440
Speaker 5: Wow.

1390
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 3: I think it was all handled really well. Yeah. I

1391
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:03,320
Speaker 3: had a happy ending, Yeah for sure. Just get Lily

1392
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:06,479
Speaker 3: out of there. Yeah, give her some costume jewelry maybe, Yeah,

1393
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 3: there you go. Try to sell any expensive yea's.

1394
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:14,720
Speaker 5: In it, just like her skin blue on her wedding day.

1395
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:15,280
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1396
01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 5: Oh that would be a nightmare. Yeah, right on her

1397
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 5: wedding day. Definitely happening in the way future with someone else.

1398
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: Yeah. But that's the end of that story, so we'll

1399
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 3: see you next time.