WEBVTT - How Can You Help a Friend with Depression?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to brain Stuff from How Stuff Works. Hey, brain Stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>Lauren vocal bomb here. I just wanted to let you

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<v Speaker 1>know this episode deals with the topics of depression and suicide.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you're not up for that today, go ahead

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<v Speaker 1>and skip it. And Hey, take care of yourself, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>During the publicity that attended the recent suicides of Anthony

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<v Speaker 1>Bourdain and Kate Spade, people were urged to reach out

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<v Speaker 1>to loved ones they suspect are coping with depression. There's

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<v Speaker 1>good reason for this nudge. A more than sixteen million

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<v Speaker 1>American adults experienced major depression, with only thirty five of

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<v Speaker 1>those affected turning to a mental health professional for treatment.

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<v Speaker 1>Effective treatment can lead to partial or complete remission and

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<v Speaker 1>thus a vastly improved quality of life. But one of

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<v Speaker 1>the tricky things about depression is that it can prevent

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<v Speaker 1>people from getting help. Still, despite these numbers, a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people are confused or anxious about how to handle

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<v Speaker 1>a potentially depressed loved one. How can you tell if

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<v Speaker 1>someone is really depressed and how exactly should you approach

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<v Speaker 1>the person? What if they get mad at Eve for asking?

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<v Speaker 1>Although a lot of variables are at play, and it's

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<v Speaker 1>impossible to predict a reaction. Experts insist that it's always

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<v Speaker 1>better to make a true and caring effort. We spoke

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<v Speaker 1>with Matt Onorado, director of social work and an adjunct

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<v Speaker 1>clinical assistant professor at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical

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<v Speaker 1>Center's Harding Hospital. He said, a people who contemplates suicide

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<v Speaker 1>are ambivalent up to the end. They want the pain

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<v Speaker 1>to end, and if there was some other way to

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<v Speaker 1>end the pain then kill themselves, they would take that.

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<v Speaker 1>There's always hope. You make a small gesture of hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm here if you need me, and that could stop

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<v Speaker 1>someone a week later from trying to kill themselves. The

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<v Speaker 1>small things we do make a huge impact. So how

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<v Speaker 1>do you know if someone is dealing with depression? Almost

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<v Speaker 1>all of us get the blues at some point, feeling

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<v Speaker 1>down about our lives or ourselves. The difference with depression

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<v Speaker 1>is that this feeling does not lift and is not

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<v Speaker 1>improved by spending time with friends or taking part in

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<v Speaker 1>fun activities. Some fairly well known symptoms of depression include

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<v Speaker 1>sa nous and loss of interest in hobbies enjoyed in

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<v Speaker 1>the past, weight gain or weight loss, trouble sleeping, or

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<v Speaker 1>excessive sleep, difficulty concentrating, and suicidal thoughts or comments. A

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<v Speaker 1>general irribility is a lesser known and often overlooked symptom.

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<v Speaker 1>Verbal statements of feeling empty or worthless are also important

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<v Speaker 1>to note, as well as physical symptoms like pain, fatigue, headaches,

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<v Speaker 1>or stomach aches. If any of these symptoms last more

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<v Speaker 1>than two weeks and interfere with the person's life functioning

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<v Speaker 1>in some way, it's probably not just the blues. Like

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<v Speaker 1>any serious illness, depression needs to be treated to get better.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of people are scared to approach loved what

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<v Speaker 1>about depression or suicide, whether it's because they don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to offend the person, are afraid to make the situation

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<v Speaker 1>to real, or are worried that they'll get yelled at.

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<v Speaker 1>We also spoke with Dr Katherine Burnett, Assistant professor at

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<v Speaker 1>the School of Social Work at Two Lane University, via email.

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<v Speaker 1>She said any time a sensitive issue is brought up,

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<v Speaker 1>the potential for defensiveness or anger is there. She also

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<v Speaker 1>noted that you're not necessarily in for a fight though quote.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone responds differently, and many people may be relieved to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about their struggles, especially if a non judgmental and

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<v Speaker 1>sensitive approach is taken. In the event that the person

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<v Speaker 1>does react unhappily, it can be helpful to be open

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<v Speaker 1>and direct about your emotional response. Therapists suggest saying something

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<v Speaker 1>like I understand you're going through a lot, but when

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<v Speaker 1>you snap at me, it makes me feel sad. There's

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<v Speaker 1>no guarantee that one talk will result in action, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's okay, Burnett said. Sometimes if a friend seems to

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<v Speaker 1>blow you off, you can affirm that you just care

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<v Speaker 1>about them and are there if they ever want to talk.

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<v Speaker 1>Your friend may not respond immediately, but your care may

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<v Speaker 1>have left an opening for future conversations. When you do

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<v Speaker 1>initiate the conversation, calmly express concern, then let them do

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of the talking. Listen first, hold off on

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<v Speaker 1>any problem solving or suggestions. It might sound silly, but

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<v Speaker 1>us listening to a person's experience of depression can help

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<v Speaker 1>them validate that experience for themselves once they've had their say.

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<v Speaker 1>Therapists recommend asking probing questions like how bad does the

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<v Speaker 1>sket Does it ever get worse than what you're telling me?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you aware of having a lot of guilt or shame?

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<v Speaker 1>Just avoid saying things like look on the bright side,

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<v Speaker 1>or it's not that bad, or even something like when

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<v Speaker 1>I was depressed, once I started walking every day and

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<v Speaker 1>I got better. Remember that depression is a systemic illness.

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<v Speaker 1>It can affect a person's whole body and being, so

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<v Speaker 1>it needs treatment tailored for every individual person. It may

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<v Speaker 1>take time, but hopefully they'll come to the conclusion that

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<v Speaker 1>their depression can be treated. There are lots of options

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<v Speaker 1>depending on how severe the situation is. If the person

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<v Speaker 1>is suicidal, there are services that offer twenty four hour

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<v Speaker 1>access to trained professionals and other resources. In the US,

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<v Speaker 1>try looking up the National Alliance on Mental Illness or

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<v Speaker 1>Mental Health America, or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline or the

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<v Speaker 1>Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Some services are free,

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<v Speaker 1>and there are federally funded outpatient and inpatient programs available

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<v Speaker 1>to folks without insurance, with payment based on sliding scale

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<v Speaker 1>according to income. If the situation is less urgent, talk

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<v Speaker 1>to your friend about what option they might be most

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable with. This could start with a trip to the

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<v Speaker 1>family doctor, particularly if your friend doesn't want to see

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<v Speaker 1>a therapist. After all, primary care doctors are also able

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<v Speaker 1>to rule out any other medical cause like thyroid problems

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<v Speaker 1>or anemia. They can screen for depression, prescribe medications, and

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<v Speaker 1>refer patients to mental health professionals. Many employee assistance programs

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<v Speaker 1>offer free or reduced cost counseling sessions to staff and

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<v Speaker 1>family members, so be sure to check your specific plan

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<v Speaker 1>for counseling and other resources. Onorato said, I think culturally

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<v Speaker 1>we're becoming in America more comfortable talking about mental health, depression,

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<v Speaker 1>and suicide. People are being more open and knowing that

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<v Speaker 1>there is help out there, that you won't be judged

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<v Speaker 1>and are not alone. Today's episode was written by Alia

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<v Speaker 1>Hoyt and produced by Tyler Clang for iHeartMedia and How

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<v Speaker 1>Stuff Works. For more on this and lots of other topics,

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<v Speaker 1>visit our home planet, how stuff Works dot com