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Speaker 1: I asked my fiance to limit interactions with his female colleague.

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Speaker 2: He refused, Ah, what a cool guy.

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Speaker 1: I am female twenty five and have been dating my fiance,

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Speaker 1: male twenty six for two years now. We have always

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Speaker 1: been very happy together and got engaged this summer and

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Speaker 1: are very excited to get married and start a family.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user bog boy f

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Speaker 1: problems on the r slash Okay storytime. So, however, we've

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Speaker 1: recently gotten into a major argument over his interactions with

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Speaker 1: his colleague and he's currently sleeping on the couch over it.

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Speaker 1: A little bit of a background. In college, my fiance

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Speaker 1: was involved with the girl now twenty four he'd met

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Speaker 1: online and then started hooking up with. I only know

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Speaker 1: this stuff because we've had a couple of conversations about

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Speaker 1: each other's first so she came up. My fiance was

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Speaker 1: the stereotypical frat boy womanizer in college. From what I've heard,

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Speaker 1: she was more academically inclined and they didn't have much

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Speaker 1: in common. He apparently took her virginity her freshman year,

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Speaker 1: and then they hooked up a few more times in

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Speaker 1: the next year, and she took his butt virginity. She

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Speaker 1: seemed to want more and cut him off a few

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Speaker 1: times that year, but always came back, and then worked

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Speaker 1: near each other the summer after he graduated, and they

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Speaker 1: slept together a lot. After they lost touch, but kept

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Speaker 1: following each other on Instagram. I made him unfollow when

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Speaker 1: we got serious. Obviously, it didn't bother me to know

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Speaker 1: what he had, that he had a life before me.

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Speaker 1: She did bother me a little, though, because he usually

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Speaker 1: trash talks his exes, but spoke pretty positively of her

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Speaker 1: and said things like that she cared about more than

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Speaker 1: just her looks, and he had more depth, or she

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Speaker 1: had more depth, and other bs like that, and that

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Speaker 1: she had a great body and was in great bed.

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Speaker 1: Is the past and they weren't in contact, that is

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Speaker 1: until my fiance got a new job a couple of

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Speaker 1: months ago. He's in finance and got a job for

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Speaker 1: a quantum trading type of company and is on a

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Speaker 1: team that is partially made up of computer scientists, and

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Speaker 1: she is one of them. He told me right away,

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Speaker 1: so I knew he was being transparent and wasn't too worried. However,

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Speaker 1: he's been working very closely with her as she's been

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Speaker 1: helping him get up to speed on some computer stuff.

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Speaker 1: His team also does a lot of team building type

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Speaker 1: of stuff like happy hours, and so they end up

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Speaker 1: spending a lot of time together, which wouldn't necessarily bother me,

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Speaker 1: but he started becoming actual friends with her and mentioning

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Speaker 1: her more and more, always in complimentary ways. I was

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Speaker 1: a little miffed, but still not worried, because I have

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Speaker 1: seen pictures of her and she's not really incredibly conventionally

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Speaker 1: attractive and isn't really my fiance's type. I don't really

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Speaker 1: trust her considering how she acted with him in the past,

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Speaker 1: but from her social media she seemed to be pretty

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Speaker 1: low key and not really do much or be very

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Speaker 1: well liked. Yesterday, the team was going to happy hour

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Speaker 1: and my fiance invited me for the first time, and

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Speaker 1: of course she was there. Did you imagine, like, your

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Speaker 1: fiance took my virginity, but I took his behind, but

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Speaker 1: I took his second virginy, I took him second virginity,

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Speaker 1: the number two virginity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so weird. Can you imagine her bringing that up unprompted,

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Speaker 2: like that's I'm really amazing, that's so weird. Oh my god, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Meeting her in seeing her and my fiance interact really

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Speaker 1: changed my mind. First off, she was in person way

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Speaker 1: more attractive than her than on her social media. Not

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Speaker 1: exactly pretty, but very cute adamittently with a great body.

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Speaker 1: She was also clearly really well liked by everyone on

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Speaker 1: her team, all men. She made a lot of jokes

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Speaker 1: they all laughed at and always had something to say.

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Speaker 1: Her and my fiance also clearly had some inside jokes

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Speaker 1: and were having a blast together. Oh there were some.

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Speaker 1: There's some inside jokes. None of it was exactly inappropriate,

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Speaker 1: but it did make me feel like crap to watch

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Speaker 1: my fiance so happy to hang out with another woman.

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Speaker 1: He also ordered her a couple of drinks and she

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Speaker 1: didn't even ask. All she had to do was look

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Speaker 1: at him and then at the bar, and he knew

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Speaker 1: what to do and her order and everything. She also

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Speaker 1: hadn't brought anyone, so I assume she's single. When we

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Speaker 1: got home, I told my fiance in no unequipical terms

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Speaker 1: that he had to limit his contact with her because

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Speaker 1: it made me feel very uncomfortable. He basically just said no,

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Speaker 1: and that she was his colleague and that he would

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Speaker 1: get fired. If he had stopped interacting with her just

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Speaker 1: because his fiance was jealous. He also said that they've

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Speaker 1: never spent time one on one and that he was

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Speaker 1: just doing what he needed to do for work. The

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Speaker 1: fight escalated from there and we now aren't talking, which

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Speaker 1: is really great considering he went to work with her

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Speaker 1: today and then they all went to another happy hour tonight.

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Speaker 2: Wait, was Opie asking him to like completely shut her

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Speaker 2: out of work, because it's like, you gotta understand if

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Speaker 2: he's going to work. It's like Opie just asked to

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Speaker 2: limit his contact with her because it okay, okay. I

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Speaker 2: just wanted to make sure because it sounded like the

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Speaker 2: way that she phrased that like that she had said

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Speaker 2: that they can't work together.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to go to happy hour every night.

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Speaker 2: It's true.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have a happy hour. You can you

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Speaker 1: can go have happy hour with your partner. It's not

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Speaker 1: your work team. You can go out to dinner with

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Speaker 1: your partner. I mean, yes, it's not mandatory you go

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Speaker 1: to happy hour with your ex, with your ex that

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Speaker 1: you constantly talked up you have. It seems like you

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Speaker 1: want to go to happy hour to hang out with

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Speaker 1: your ed mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, Op, this is a real bad situation.

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Speaker 1: He still isn't back, and I'm not sure if he'll

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Speaker 1: be back tonight. He's being very resistant and it's making

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Speaker 1: me wonder if I was wrong. So was I the

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Speaker 1: a hole or am I just being reasonable in protecting

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Speaker 1: my relationship? There is an update, but let's just talk.

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Speaker 2: No, I think you were being reasonable. I think that

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Speaker 2: there could be a reality in which you guys have

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Speaker 2: a conversation and you come to the conclusion that, like

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Speaker 2: what happened between them is in the past, and maybe

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Speaker 2: you can be comfortable with it with them having a friendship.

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Speaker 2: But the fact that your partner's not giving you the

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Speaker 2: space to even have that conversation, I think speaks for itself.

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Speaker 1: The fact that he's making excuses and it's like, it's

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Speaker 1: this is work, this is work. I have to go

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Speaker 1: to happy hour every night and be with her and

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Speaker 1: like be giddy giddy with her and.

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Speaker 2: You know, psychically communicating with her. Like it's a little

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Speaker 2: too close for comfort. After everything that's been said, you don't.

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Speaker 1: Have to go. Just if she's part of the team,

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Speaker 1: that's fine, I get it. And you have team meetings

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Speaker 1: and team workplaces and team exercises. I get it, but

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Speaker 1: you don't have to be like just like this every time.

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Speaker 1: So and the fact that he just came out blatantly no, just.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, that all combined and then with him

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Speaker 2: not putting her on top is number one, like very clearly.

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Speaker 2: I think if he had different energy about that, this

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Speaker 2: could also be a very different conversation if it was

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Speaker 2: just so clear that like, she's the top of the

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Speaker 2: mountain and this girl's old news. Yeah, and that's all

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Speaker 2: it is. Yeah, like you can you definitely.

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Speaker 1: Can be like friends and you know, friendly, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: not that friendly and not that close.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't sound like op he's getting anywhere near

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Speaker 2: the respect that she No.

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Speaker 1: No, no. And the thing is Opie was at the

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Speaker 1: very beginning was like very mature and like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the past is the past and whatever. Then she saw

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Speaker 1: how they interacted and was like, oh, this is what's

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Speaker 1: going on as the past don't look like it's in

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Speaker 1: the pace, looks like it is the press.

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Speaker 2: Did I take a time machine because I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 2: this is today? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Am I am I your ex? Or is she your X?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm please let me know we have

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Speaker 2: an update.

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Speaker 1: I got a lot of good advice and opinions on

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Speaker 1: my original post, so I thought I would update. I

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Speaker 1: made the post Friday night, and right after I also

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Speaker 1: talked to a couple of my friends and to my

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Speaker 1: mom about the situation. My conversations with them, plus the

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Speaker 1: comments here, made me realize that yes, I had been

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Speaker 1: acting out of jealousy and that I hadn't communicated with

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Speaker 1: my fiance well, but that I was justified in feeling

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable with the situation and that I wasn't all right

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Speaker 1: with it. Continuing, when I posted, my fiance was out

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Speaker 1: at happy hour again with his team and his ex.

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Speaker 1: I decided that when he got home I would try

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Speaker 1: to have a more constructive conversation with him. He texted

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Speaker 1: me soon after I posted and said he'd be home

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Speaker 1: soon and would pick up dinner. He also said in

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Speaker 1: a snide way that I didn't need to worry and

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Speaker 1: that the coworker hadn't gone with them. When he got home,

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Speaker 1: we spoke much more calmly, and I apologized for the

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Speaker 1: ultimatum but expressed that I really wasn't comfortable with the situation.

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Speaker 1: It was actually very constructive and we agreed that we

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Speaker 1: would limit his interactions with her, would stop ordering her drinks,

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Speaker 1: and would try to go more often to team building

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Speaker 1: stuff that she was skipping and less often to the

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Speaker 1: ones that she was going to. He also apologized, but

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Speaker 1: was adamant that he felt nothing for her beyond professional respect.

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Speaker 1: That's I mean, and that's fair, That's what I was saying.

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Speaker 2: It's like, in a different way, it sounds like this context,

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Speaker 2: it's like y'all are having a conversation that's actually getting somewhere,

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Speaker 2: and y'all are finding common ground.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, he's a sort of peace in this situation.

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Speaker 1: His understanding. He was like, Okay, wait, this is reasonably sound.

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Speaker 1: It makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's the fact that he was like completely disregarding

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Speaker 2: the feelings. Yeah. But then op also admitted like she

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Speaker 2: didn't really communicate as effectively as she could have what

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Speaker 2: she was going through.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, but communication, Yeah, it's good. Communication is key

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Speaker 1: key on, he's key on. I was really glad we

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Speaker 1: figured it out, but yesterday everything really went downhill. His

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Speaker 1: friends who went to college with both of them were

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Speaker 1: visiting us. We spent the day with them and a

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Speaker 1: bunch of our friends who live in our city, including

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Speaker 1: my best friend. We ended up going on a bar

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Speaker 1: crawl after dinner. We all got really crunky, especially my

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Speaker 1: fiance and his friends, and ended up at this popular

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Speaker 1: club slash bar place. When we walked in, we walked

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Speaker 1: past the coworker who was with a group of her friends,

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Speaker 1: so the ex which wasn't that surprising. It was a

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Speaker 1: Saturday night and it's a popular spot for our demographic.

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Speaker 1: After we walked by, a few of my fiance's college

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Speaker 1: friends noticed and said a bunch of stuff to him.

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Speaker 1: They were basically acting like college fratros, hitting my fiance's

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Speaker 1: shoulders and saying she looked good she admittedly did, and

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Speaker 1: that they hadn't seen her in a while, and making

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Speaker 1: jokes about her. My fiance was basically ignoring them and

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Speaker 1: told them to cool it. I wanted to leave, but

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Speaker 1: we'd just gotten there and it's a nice spot, so

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Speaker 1: everyone wanted to stay. The coworker seemed like she was

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Speaker 1: just having a good time and also seemed really crunky

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Speaker 1: and didn't notice us. We got some drinks. My fiance

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Speaker 1: and his friends kept glancing at the colleague, and I

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Speaker 1: think she noticed and laughed at them. I felt sick

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Speaker 1: to my stomach and the alcohol definitely didn't help, and

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Speaker 1: I went to the bathroom with one of my friends.

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Speaker 1: My best friends stayed with the others, which is how

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Speaker 1: I know what happened. My fiance's college friends started talking

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Speaker 1: about her immediately after I left, saying that she looked

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Speaker 1: great and they knew she was a good time and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. My fiance kind of brushed them off.

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Speaker 1: Then one of his friends decided to go up to her.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like he's been reacting the right way so far.

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Speaker 2: He's he's trying to like, guys, stop, guys, stop, come on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we were having a good time. We don't need

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Speaker 1: this right now. He bought her a drink and talked

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Speaker 1: to her for a little bit, but she just kind

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Speaker 1: of laughed at him and kept talking to her friends.

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Speaker 1: He came back to the group and said that apparently

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Speaker 1: she said something like, you know, uh, fiance's name, you

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Speaker 1: know fiance's name, and it is the only their frat

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Speaker 1: brother for me, after which he went to say hello

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Speaker 1: to her and they talked for a little bit. According

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Speaker 1: to my best friend, they seemed to be laughing and

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Speaker 1: having a good time. When I came out of the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I saw him talking to her with one hand on

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Speaker 1: her waist. I saw her push it off and say something,

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Speaker 1: and he put it back and he leaned into her ear.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy as dumb as his sacarrox or he's

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Speaker 2: drunk as his or both.

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Speaker 3: He's a drunk skunk bag of ox.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh boy. She said something to him and removed

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Speaker 1: his hand again, and then gestured to me to ope, yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: Being like do you see her over there?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Like that's your girl, girl or your fiance, right, like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's your fiance.

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Speaker 1: My fiance turned to come and talk to me, but

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Speaker 1: I walked out with my best friend and two of

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Speaker 1: our other friends and we ordered an uber. My fiance

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Speaker 1: didn't come outside, and I heard from another of my

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Speaker 1: friends who stayed that it was because his college friends

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Speaker 1: told him to stay and to chill.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, his college friends told him to stay and chill

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Speaker 2: with the girl who they were all like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: remember her, Yeah, chill with her? Dude.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know what, you guys should chill with us

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Speaker 1: every weekday live on YouTube at three PMPST.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just tap our profile, tap just one.

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Speaker 1: There's another relevant update. But where where where do we

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Speaker 1: stand right now? Where do we stand?

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Speaker 2: I think clearly whether it was the copious amount of

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Speaker 2: alcohol consumed by Op's fiance or there he him making

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Speaker 2: a move on the waist and like going in after

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Speaker 2: his friend came back and was like, she said that

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Speaker 2: you're the only one for her, bro, and then he

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Speaker 2: walks over there. Wow's fiances? What this guy clearly still

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Speaker 2: has feelings for this.

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Speaker 1: X And the fact that like you assured your fiance, Op,

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Speaker 1: You assured Op that like, nothing's going on, I have

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Speaker 1: no romantic connections with her, were just friends and then

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Speaker 1: you do that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, what the hell?

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Speaker 2: That's like breaking off the engagement, like one hundred thousand

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Speaker 2: You have witnesses.

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Speaker 1: Too, It's not just like, oh you know someone told

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Speaker 1: me this. You have a bunch of witness is the

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Speaker 1: Opie's fiances boys are hounding him?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, the college boys are making everything worse.

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Speaker 1: This is terrible.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And she just just leave this guy and be

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Speaker 2: like you want to marry me? No, you don't.

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Speaker 1: You want to marry her, You want to marry you

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Speaker 1: want to marry number two. Yeah, I'm gonna call her

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Speaker 1: number two because of what she is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because of exactly. Yeah, we all know it, and

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Speaker 2: we all know what she did.

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Speaker 1: I stayed at my best friend's apartment, So this is

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Speaker 1: an update or I just continue to storry. Sorry, I

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Speaker 1: stayed at my best friend's apartment and haven't been home yet.

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Speaker 1: I really just came to and just have just been

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Speaker 1: crying in bed. I've heard nothing from my fiance. I

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Speaker 1: just can't believe this has happened. My best friend is

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Speaker 1: with me and we are trying to figure out what

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Speaker 1: to do. I really just can't believe that my relationship

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Speaker 1: has spiraled in such a short time. It doesn't even

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Speaker 1: feel real. I'm just lost, and I thought that updating

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Speaker 1: would help me collect my thoughts. I will probably eat

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Speaker 1: and then call my mom and see if she has

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Speaker 1: any wisdom, because I'm really just in the disbelief.

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Speaker 2: That sounds like a good play. Honestly, get some get

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Speaker 2: some food in in call your mom. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: you're kind of It's almost a blessing in disguise that

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Speaker 2: this happened before the marriage, because now you don't have

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Speaker 2: to go through the lengthy legal proceedings to you know,

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Speaker 2: get a divorce or whatever. It's like you can just

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Speaker 2: leave this guy because he one hundred percent deserves to

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Speaker 2: be left. I want my fiance to prioritize our family,

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Speaker 2: but she cares more about a girl's trip with her friends.

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Speaker 3: It's the girlies. You gotta prioritize the girlies.

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Speaker 2: Hey, girls come first, right, That's what I always say.

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Speaker 2: My fiance, let's call her Sally, and I are getting

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Speaker 2: married next month. Since we've been together, we've only had fights. Uh,

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Speaker 2: we've had fights about how to prioritize family time. We

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Speaker 2: live on the same coast as her family and my

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Speaker 2: family lives on the opposite coast, so, through no fault

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Speaker 2: of hers, we see her family significantly more. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from user I bing you Bing on the

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Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime.

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Speaker 3: So I've always said that I always say when I

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Speaker 3: bing you bing you know.

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Speaker 2: So, my sister was recently diagnosed with ms Ooh sorry,

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Speaker 2: that really sucks very hard, and that's what jesuys right here.

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Speaker 2: Sucks so far. She has light symptoms, but it's a

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Speaker 2: disease that can progress quickly or cannot. Yeah, it is

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Speaker 2: kind of random. My family has adopted a very let's

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Speaker 2: make every moment count mentality because we don't know how

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Speaker 2: many years we will have with my sister in good health.

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Speaker 2: My brother reached out to me to say they are

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Speaker 2: planning a trip on the week that both his kids

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Speaker 2: and my sister's kids have spring break. This would be

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Speaker 2: a week long trip. It has a fixed date because

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Speaker 2: of the kid's schedule. When I told Sally, she mentioned

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Speaker 2: that her best friend had reached out to start planning

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Speaker 2: a girl's trip. Sally lives a several hour drive from

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Speaker 2: that group of girls and almost always misses this girl's trip.

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Speaker 2: Her friend let her know that she's reaching out early

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Speaker 2: to make sure that Sally can go. She told me

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Speaker 2: she just wants to get ahead of this and doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to let her friend down. They don't know when

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Speaker 2: it would be, but it may be the same date

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Speaker 2: as my family's. No one in that group, including us,

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Speaker 2: have kids, so we have much more flexibility. I'll be

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Speaker 2: honest that I got frustrated very quickly and was not

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Speaker 2: very comforting or understanding. I tried to resist bringing up

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Speaker 2: my sister having MS, but eventually I did and said,

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Speaker 2: that's why we're pushing so hard to take advantage of

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Speaker 2: these years. Sally responded that we don't know that things

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Speaker 2: will be bad and we need to stay positive. That

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Speaker 2: rubbed me the wrong way because I feel like she's

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Speaker 2: missing how awful we would feel if the MS did

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Speaker 2: progress quickly. Sally told me that I'm being manipulative and

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Speaker 2: controlling for pressuring her to plan her friend's trip around

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Speaker 2: my family's trip. I believe it's fair to expect your

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Speaker 2: spouse to show up for things like like that, and

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Speaker 2: to prioritize family, especially family you don't see over friends,

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Speaker 2: particularly with the illness situation. Here's where I could be

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Speaker 2: the a hole. I definitely reacted poorly when she treated

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Speaker 2: the trips as two equally important things. I absolute lutely

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Speaker 2: pressured her to agree to go on the family trip.

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Speaker 2: I also brought up previous fights, like about beginning to

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Speaker 2: split Christmases, to point out that she's been resistant to

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Speaker 2: sacrificing time with her people to get an equal amount

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Speaker 2: of time with my people. Also, I'm sure some folks

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Speaker 2: are wondering why I don't go alone. My family adores

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Speaker 2: Sally and want her to be part of the family.

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Speaker 2: I want her to be part of my family, just

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Speaker 2: like I want to be part of her family. It's

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Speaker 2: not realistic that we do every single thing together, but

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Speaker 2: I think we should both make a significant effort to

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Speaker 2: do so. And we do have an update, but first

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Speaker 2: let's have a little let's discuss that.

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Speaker 3: A little conflicted here.

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Speaker 2: I'm conflicted too, because honestly, I got a little mixed

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Speaker 2: up in my own head and I thought they were

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Speaker 2: saying that it was Opee's wife that had the MS NO,

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Speaker 2: but I got it mixed up. It's his sister, yes,

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Speaker 2: which is adding a layer on the pressure of like,

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Speaker 2: you need to come and have this trip with my

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Speaker 2: family and my sister. Yeah for MS progressive.

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Speaker 3: I think it also seems like the trip has been

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Speaker 3: planned for a while, and Dutchess Casana says, if you

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Speaker 3: already have a date for the sister thing, isn't it

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Speaker 3: just easier to plan around that date. Yeah. Why couldn't

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Speaker 3: you have sent that to the friends and said like, hey, yeah,

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Speaker 3: these dates don't work for me, I'm going to, you know,

387
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Speaker 3: so support my Yance's family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think I think there should definitely have been

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Speaker 2: more of a discussion about like this, And I get

390
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Speaker 2: it's it's not gonna work for but I get that

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Speaker 2: if she's missed so many of them that she doesn't

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Speaker 2: now want to be like the squeaky wheel of being like, uh,

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Speaker 2: actually that's not gonna work for me, So you all

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Speaker 2: need to make it work. But like I feel like

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Speaker 2: if if.

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Speaker 3: They're your friends, I feel like, and you're doing it

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Speaker 3: so far in advance.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, it's like it's not at a point where it's

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Speaker 2: like an unsolvable problems.

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Speaker 3: Like they're saying, hey, can you do these dates? And

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00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:55,119
Speaker 3: you could say hey, presumably if they're asking you so

402
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Speaker 3: far in advance, they're trying to see if you know,

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Speaker 3: the dates work.

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Speaker 2: So I just like for you to tell them, no,

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Speaker 2: they don't work. Here's some dates that might work better.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but also you can't necessarily like tell her that

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Speaker 3: she has to go, Like you can't force it.

408
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Speaker 2: It would be the angel move, yeah, to go. It

409
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Speaker 2: would be the partner spouse like sacrifice play to support

410
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Speaker 2: your spouse when they're going through really hard yeah. Especially Yeah,

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Speaker 2: of course, let's see what happens in this update. Folks,

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Speaker 2: thank you all for your advice and input. When I

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Speaker 2: left the original post, I was not in a great headspace.

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Speaker 2: I also tried to keep it concise, so there's plenty

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Speaker 2: of contexts that I missed This will be the last

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Speaker 2: that I update or respond, and I'll break the update

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Speaker 2: into additional context and the resolution. So here's the additional context.

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Speaker 2: Sally adores my family as well. She has always told

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Speaker 2: me how much they mean to her, and has even

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Speaker 2: floated the idea of potentially moving to my home state

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Speaker 2: and how would we and how we would be able

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Speaker 2: to see my parents and my sister more. We haven't

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Speaker 2: made any decisions, and leaving her home state would be

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Speaker 2: very difficult for her. It's impossible to summarize everything she's

425
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Speaker 2: done to show she cares about my family over the

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Speaker 2: last seven years, but I know, beyond the shadow of

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00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,359
Speaker 2: a doubt that she does. Okay, that's good. Yeah, So

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Speaker 2: it's not like she's just trying to brush off the family.

429
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Speaker 2: She's never gone on this trip that she's invited to

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Speaker 2: because she is not close with the majority of the

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Speaker 2: people on the trip. Her best friend reached out to

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Speaker 2: her early because she really wants Sally to become closer

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Speaker 2: friends with this group. An interesting layer. The scenario that

434
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: led us to knowing about my sister's diagnosis was crappy.

435
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 2: We found out by my mom accidentally telling me that

436
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 2: my sister was getting tests done. We were sworn to

437
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,199
Speaker 2: secrecy because my sister was adamant that she didn't want

438
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 2: to distract us from the wedding until she had the

439
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 2: final diagnosis. It was an honest mistake from my mom.

440
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 2: But it's been an emotionally charged situation for both Sally

441
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 2: and me. We're both grieving. That is a lot of

442
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 2: complication for a variety of reasons. We have been completely

443
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 2: overwhelmed by this wedding. There's a lot of drama coming

444
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 2: from outside sources, and it's been exhausting to the point

445
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 2: where we wish we had just eloped. No, it is

446
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 2: not my family. Sally has unlimited paid time off, and

447
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 2: we have more than enough funds to do both trips.

448
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 2: I don't know everything about multiple ms. My understanding is

449
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: that it's absolutely possible. It has a minimal impact on

450
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 2: my sister for the next few decades, but it could

451
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 2: also be a debilitating situation my family. We're all together

452
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 2: without me in Italy two weekends ago. We will all

453
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 2: be together over the wedding. Over the wedding in a

454
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: few weeks. This trip will not be a loaded, heavy

455
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 2: saying goodbye trip at all. It's just something we want

456
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 2: to prioritize because the futures are sure.

457
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 3: It's just to hang out with the sister and spend

458
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 3: time with her while you know she's doing better.

459
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 2: So it's not necessarily a make or break moment, no

460
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 2: for the family and for Op's is it wife or

461
00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:00,360
Speaker 2: fiance jonsa fiance? This is a really sort of ray.

462
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 2: Usually I feel like I've made up my mind by now.

463
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 2: I really have very in the middle of both of.

464
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 3: These, because I understand kind of both sides, but I

465
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 3: also understand like wanting to have your partner there for

466
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 3: kind of a scary moment. Yeah, and you're about to

467
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,919
Speaker 3: get married. Hm, you're like, oh, if you can't, like,

468
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,199
Speaker 3: if you're not searing taking this as seriously as I am.

469
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think I can relate a little bit

470
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 2: to the position of just trying to play it cool. Yeah,

471
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 2: when things are bad, Like, that's what I That's what

472
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 2: I've done for pretty much like every every like bad

473
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 2: scary thing that happens to me, I'm always just like,

474
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 2: that's gonna be fine, fine, Yeah, And like most of

475
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 2: the time it ends also being fine, And I feel

476
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 2: like that's I'm tricking the universe into just making everything okay.

477
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 2: Manifestation Yeah, basically just manifesting positive things. So here comes

478
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 2: the resolution. We had a great conversation about all of

479
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 2: this this morning. We acknowledge that we're both overwhelmed with

480
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 2: this diagnosis, and we're both overwhelmed with wedding planning to

481
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 2: the point where it's really difficult to wrap our heads

482
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 2: around what comes next. We came into that conversation in

483
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,479
Speaker 2: an unhealthy headspace and both said things that weren't ideal.

484
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 2: But what would be ideal is if you join us

485
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 2: live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPs T. Just

486
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 2: tap that profile.

487
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, honestly, maybe the time apart will

488
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 3: be helpful for them.

489
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, it could be.

490
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, if they're like just kind of getting into the

491
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 3: nerves a little bit.

492
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 2: You don't want to stress, you don't you don't want

493
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 2: to foster any sort of like resentment by being like

494
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 2: you made me miss this trip. And then imagine it's

495
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 2: like your sister does end up having like a very

496
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 2: mild you know, MS, and it's like then she's like, see,

497
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 2: I told you. It's like, yeah, I don't know.

498
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 3: You don't want that.

499
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,159
Speaker 2: I think can especially considering that you're probably going to

500
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 2: see each other, like what in two weeks with all

501
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: the wedding going on.

502
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 3: That's true.

503
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: It's like I think if she can go on the

504
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 2: girl's trip, I think maybe just let her. It's not

505
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 2: even about letting her right that she's able to do

506
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 2: whatever she wants.

507
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 3: Also, it's like, I am wondering, is there a compromise

508
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 3: where she goes on some of it, you know, visits

509
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 3: that like buys back or whatever. I don't know if

510
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 3: there's a financial no, just you know.

511
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 2: Push that the dates don't work. Yeah, But really, like

512
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 2: I don't understand why that's.

513
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 3: I don't know why that wasn't brought up, Like why.

514
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe it was a thing where it was like

515
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 2: I'm reaching out to let you know the date ahead

516
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 2: of time so that you can plan around it, sure,

517
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 2: instead of like is this gonna work? Yeah, because she's

518
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 2: not really in the friend group, so it would be

519
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 2: weird for them to like replan around.

520
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: Someone who's one person Yeah into.

521
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 2: It, and maybe she wants to be more in the circle.

522
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 2: I don't know. There is a little bit more information here,

523
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 2: So okay, so let's let's let's finish it off. So

524
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 2: she wants to go on the trip. She's been feeling

525
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 2: protective about committing to things in the next year because

526
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,400
Speaker 2: of how underwater she is with the wedding, but on reflection,

527
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 2: realized how important this is to her. Sally also let

528
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 2: me know that she's still adjusting to having family that

529
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 2: has kids and how inflexible their schedules are. Her siblings

530
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 2: don't have kids, so their vacations are a lot more flexible.

531
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 2: We're going to sit down when we're less overwhelmed and

532
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 2: talk about what our goals for how often we see

533
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 2: each side of the family are, how we can make

534
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 2: that happen, and how we'll handle situations like that in

535
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 2: the future. Thanks everyone, Thank you. Wait, but I'm still confused.

536
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 2: She wants to go on the trip?

537
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

538
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 2: So is that the trip with the family trip?

539
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 3: I think she wants to go on our girls trip?

540
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Tell me again, I really, I can't. I'm sorry,

541
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,160
Speaker 2: I can't tell. I feel like it would have said

542
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 2: she wants to go on the girl's trip, right.

543
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 3: I think it was saying she wants to go on

544
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 3: because she was saying before that she wanted to go

545
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 3: on the girls trip, So I think it's saying she

546
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 3: still wants to go on the Girls Trip. Read that

547
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 3: sentence one more time.

548
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 2: So this is the final bit, final bit, chat, let

549
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 2: us know what you think that this is saying, because

550
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 2: it seems so vague to me. She wants to go

551
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 2: on the trip. She has been feeling protective about committing

552
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 2: to things in the next year because of how underwater

553
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 2: she is with the wedding, but on reflection realized how

554
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 2: important this is to her. Sally also let me know

555
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 2: that she's still adjusting to having family that has kids

556
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 2: and how inflexible their schedules are. Her siblings don't have kids,

557
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 2: so their vacations are a lot more flexible. We're going

558
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 2: to sit down when we're less overwhelmed and talk about

559
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 2: what our goals for how often we see each side

560
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 2: of the family are, how we can make that happen,

561
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 2: and how we'll handle situations like that in the future.

562
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 3: Okay, Actually, thanks everyone. I think that's saying that she

563
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,439
Speaker 3: wants to go on the Sister Trip. I agree with

564
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 3: you because the way that she said it was saying

565
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 3: she wants to go on the trip. She realized that

566
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 3: was important to her, and then said, originally she was

567
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 3: feeling defensive because she's always canceling on this trip, but

568
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 3: then she realized this is I honestly I thought it

569
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 3: was girls trip, but now I'm changing my mind. I

570
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,879
Speaker 3: think she's saying that she wants to go on the

571
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 3: sister trip, but let us do with the comments.

572
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 2: You know. It's really funny is that after I read it,

573
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 2: I switched to the other side. I think it was

574
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 2: because of the ending, because how the ending goes that

575
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 2: like they're going to sit down when we're less overwhelmed. Yeah,

576
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 2: talk about what our goals for seeing the family are

577
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 2: and how we can make that happen and how we'll

578
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:05,199
Speaker 2: handle it.

579
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,479
Speaker 3: I think it's just saying we're gonna go. See now,

580
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 3: the way that I went to this time is, oh,

581
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 3: we I'm gonna go on the trip with your to

582
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 3: your sister, and then in the future so this doesn't

583
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 3: happen again, and we'll talk about how much we want

584
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 3: to go, you know.

585
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 2: Okay, see, look, this is just people saying sister's trip,

586
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 2: girls trip, and then there's we're all refused.

587
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 3: We're going to pick I'm going to speak from the

588
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 3: sister trip. I think it's good that they had to talk.

589
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 3: They communicate it. It seems like she, you know, realized

590
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 3: that she cares a lot about Opie's family and wants

591
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,920
Speaker 3: to be there, And I appreciate that she It wasn't

592
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,479
Speaker 3: coming from a place where Opie was pressuring her. It

593
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: felt like she really cared and was like, you know what, No,

594
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 3: this is my decision, And after thinking about it and

595
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 3: looking at both sides, I agree this is the right

596
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 3: trip to make. And so I appreciate that they had

597
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 3: that coming together and talked it out.

598
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,880
Speaker 2: Now for the flip side of this, so she ends

599
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 2: up going on the girls trip. She realizes that this

600
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 2: is it's just something that she wanted to do. You know,

601
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 2: maybe she's been trying to make friends with these people

602
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 2: for a long time. She's got a best friend, and

603
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 2: she's like, look, like op said, like this isn't some

604
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: sort of like hard heavy goodbye see you forever, Like

605
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 2: it's it just happens to be a trip that lined

606
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 2: up where everyone gets you know, it would be convenient

607
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 2: because it's hard to do. But I think she decided

608
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: it's like this girl's trip actually is really important for me,

609
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 2: and I do feel for your family, I do I

610
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 2: feel for your system. So in order to prevent this

611
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 2: from ever happening again. Once we come back and you

612
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 2: go on your trip, I go on my trip. We're

613
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: going to sit down clearly discuss what our goals and

614
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: our wants are for connecting with each other's family, and

615
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 2: figure out exactly how we're going to make that happen

616
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 2: in the future. But for right now, with everything going

617
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 2: on and the wedding and now this ms like diagnosis

618
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 2: and like now that it's just too much to try

619
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 2: to actually figure out right now. So I'm going to

620
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 2: go on this girl's trip, and you're going to go

621
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 2: on your family trip, and then I will see your

622
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 2: family in two weeks when we go to a wedding,

623
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 2: and YadA, YadA YadA. That's why. And I think that

624
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 2: was a good conclusion. Yeah, sitting down and defining clear

625
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 2: boundaries and wants and goals good communication.

626
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 3: So now this is kind of a Choose your Own

627
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 3: Adventure podcasts and you can pick which one you think

628
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 3: is the right answer. Choose your own adventure. Oh yeah,

629
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 3: that was the end of that story.

630
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: My fiance refused to watch my first ten k race

631
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 2: because he didn't want to wake up early. Wow. Hey,

632
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: when you're not a morning person. You're not a morning person, Okay. I,

633
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 2: twenty five female, have my first ever ten k race tomorrow,

634
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: which is six point two miles. I've been running for

635
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 2: a bit over a year and I've done some five ks,

636
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 2: but this is the longest run I will compete or complete,

637
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: and it is a major milestone in my running journey.

638
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user loud Medicine for

639
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 2: seventy on the r slash ok story times I read it.

640
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 2: So this is a pretty big race here in my city,

641
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 2: so I know that parking and navigation is going to

642
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: be complicated. I also really want someone to there to drive,

643
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: cheer me on, have water, greet me at the finish line,

644
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 2: you know, typical supportive things. I asked my fiance twenty

645
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: six mail if he could come to be with me

646
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 2: for the race and drive, since I'll be exhausted after

647
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: as well, but since the race starts at seven thirty am,

648
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 2: he's unwilling to come. He has known about this race

649
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 2: since I started training for it, like four months ago.

650
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 2: He even bought me a garment to help me on

651
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 2: my training, a garment watch. Another important piece of info

652
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 2: is that we were invited to go see a choir

653
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 2: concert of one of his old college friends who's going

654
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 2: to college about three hours away from us this weekend.

655
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 2: So the plan is to leave Saturday night, stay at

656
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 2: his place, see the concert Sunday afternoon, and drive back

657
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 2: home that evening. We learned this about two weeks ago.

658
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 2: The issue comes in when I asked if he could

659
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 2: come with to support me and cheer me on, because

660
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: it's a common thing people do for their significant other

661
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: and it would mean a lot to me if he

662
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 2: came along. He isn't a morning person, and I know

663
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 2: this about him, but it is hurting me more than

664
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 2: I thought. It's hurting me more than I thought it

665
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: would that he's refusing to come to my race, but

666
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 2: is willing to drive three hours away to support someone's

667
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 2: someone he's only known for like a year. More context,

668
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: I work full time in My fiance is finishing up

669
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 2: his bachelor's in music. He started school later than me,

670
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 2: so he's a full time university student. So I do

671
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 2: understand that he's busy and I don't want to overwhelm him.

672
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: But since he's a music major, he often has concerts

673
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 2: and performances which I have gone to like ninety percent

674
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: of them, not because I feel obligated, but because I

675
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 2: want to see him doing his thing. I told him

676
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: that I was really torn up about this, and I'm

677
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 2: confused because he isn't willing to wake up to watch

678
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 2: something that I've been training for months for, but he

679
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 2: has the energy for a weekend trip. Am I overreacting?

680
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 3: No?

681
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. I mean it's not like

682
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 2: you're you might be overreacting if you were like you

683
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 2: have to come to this or elsewhere done. It's like,

684
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 2: how but that might be overreacting.

685
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 3: Really fair for being annoyed. And he's not even taken it,

686
00:31:58,560 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 3: you know, he's not even.

687
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: He does it seems pretty dismissive, just over a seven

688
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 2: thirty start time, like like.

689
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 3: The easiest there's not it's not even an obstacle.

690
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like what happens if like you guys theoretically like

691
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 2: have a kid and like, yeah, well I can't get

692
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: to go to the hospital at five your water breaks

693
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: in the morning. And he's like, can you, like maybe

694
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 2: just go by yourself.

695
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 3: I'll meet you there later. You just just hold it.

696
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 2: You know what time it is for me so early

697
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 2: I have music to make. I keep going back and

698
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 2: forth in my head because I feel like he should

699
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 2: want to be there for me, but he does have

700
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 2: his own life and I can't force him or be

701
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 2: overbearing about it. Because he did tell me that I'm

702
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 2: kind of making him feel bad for not wanting to

703
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 2: come good. Well, yeah you should. You should let your

704
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 2: feelings inform you as to what decision you want to make.

705
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 3: Oh, it's like it's so. I also sometimes certain situations

706
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 3: where you're just expressing just like hey, like I would

707
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 3: love for you to show up, and then the other

708
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 3: person's like, oh, well, you're making me feel bad. It's like, no,

709
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 3: you're just guilty because you're not doing what you should

710
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 3: be doing.

711
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's actually happening is you feel bad.

712
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 3: You feel bad. It's not my fault that you feel

713
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 3: bad for you not doing something.

714
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Opie's fiance is literally just learning what

715
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: feelings are.

716
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 3: This is hard.

717
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: Also, though throughout our entire four year relationship, I have

718
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 2: never not come to something because I didn't feel like it.

719
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: Any advice would be helpful here. Also, the relationship is

720
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 2: great other than this, So I want to figure this

721
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 2: out before ending anything. I just feel like he doesn't

722
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 2: understand that I'm hurt by all of this. We do

723
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 2: have an edit.

724
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 3: I think you just go you go chat with them

725
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 3: and say, hey, I feel like i'm you know, I

726
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 3: love going to all of your concerts and stuff, and

727
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 3: I would never you know, guilty, or want to make

728
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 3: you guilty. I feel guilty for not being able to come.

729
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 3: But I feel like seven point thirty isn't isn't an option.

730
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 2: I don't know.

731
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 3: I'm not the same.

732
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 2: Kind of stand on business here a little bit. If

733
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 2: I'm being honest, like she's gone to like ninety percent

734
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 2: of his concerts. I mean, I would just induce it's

735
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 2: like she's just trying to support him and just being

736
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 2: like this is a.

737
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 3: Big deal for me.

738
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, delicately explain to your fiance, like, so this is

739
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 2: how feelings work. You're feeling bad, and that should maybe

740
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 2: inform you as to what decision needs to be made. Now,

741
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 2: I'm not really making you feel that You're you're feeling

742
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: feeling it.

743
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 3: You're feeling it. Yeah, you're feeling feelings. Feel him.

744
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 2: So he's here comes the edit. A lot of people

745
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 2: are saying that I should communicate, and I have. We

746
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 2: have talked about this for weeks and Now that it's closer,

747
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 2: he is now saying that he doesn't want to come.

748
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 2: I've told him that this is really important to me

749
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 2: and seeing him at the finish line would make me

750
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 2: light up and mean the world to me. He is

751
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,800
Speaker 2: still refusing after multiple conversations, and his response the past

752
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: few days is that it is too early. I majored

753
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 2: in exercise science in college and working out slash sports

754
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,439
Speaker 2: are one of my main hobbies. This isn't a shock

755
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 2: to him. I just feel like he really doesn't want

756
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 2: to go, which I don't understand. The longer I pressed

757
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 2: him on it, he said that I'm trying to make

758
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 2: him feel bad and I need to accept no for

759
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 2: an answer and ask someone else. I keep bringing it up,

760
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,720
Speaker 2: and at this point he's not budging, and I'm thinking

761
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,840
Speaker 2: about giving up and just moving on. Okay, and we

762
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: do have an update. I think I think this is a.

763
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 3: Huge red flag, and I'm now I'm like, wrong.

764
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is kind of your fiance is acting, like

765
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 2: not even acting. Your fiance is telling you he doesn't

766
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,760
Speaker 2: care about what you're passionate about.

767
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, like.

768
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 2: You might want to consider having a serious conversation with you,

769
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 2: say like.

770
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 3: This is a huge red fo. This is a huge,

771
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 3: you know thing for me, and you're not even you

772
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 3: don't even care.

773
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, And if he continues to just be like, uh,

774
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 2: you're just trying to make me feel bad, Like I

775
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 2: don't know what else ye say, that's ridiculous. Here's the

776
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 2: juicy update. I realized that I left you guys hanging.

777
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,280
Speaker 2: Thank you for all of the responses and personal messages

778
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 2: about the race and your opinions about my fiance. I

779
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 2: can't explain an entire four year relationship in one post,

780
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 2: but I do want to say that my fiance is

781
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 2: my best friend and we do almost everything together. I

782
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 2: did get a message saying that I am probably a

783
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: low maintenance person, which I am, and I'm pretty self sufficient,

784
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 2: so I don't ask for much, not just from him,

785
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 2: but a lot of people in my life. I don't

786
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: have my own family around me, so all I have

787
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,280
Speaker 2: in my life are my friends, my fa my friends,

788
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 2: my fiance, and his family. He ended up driving me

789
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 2: to the race and dropping me off. He did complain

790
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 2: a bit about how tired he was, but I was

791
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 2: glad that he actually did it. He did not stay

792
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 2: to watch any of the race, so he did not

793
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 2: stay to watch any of the race, but I could

794
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 2: only make it about two miles in before I left

795
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 2: and called him to pick me up. I was not

796
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: in the right headspace that morning, and I'm not mad

797
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,439
Speaker 2: at myself. I'm still proud of all the hard work

798
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 2: and training I put in, and I will continue to

799
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 2: do more races in the future.

800
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 3: So not only did he not show up, but he

801
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 3: ruinsure race.

802
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 2: I mean, who knows. She didn't say that.

803
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 3: She said I was in the right headspace.

804
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 2: You know that could happen because him, that could have

805
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 2: a lot of There could be a lot of factors

806
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:52,839
Speaker 2: that made her not in the right headspace. I've never

807
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 2: ran a ten K.

808
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 3: I've never ran it. I tend to.

809
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 2: We did have a conversation that racing is something that

810
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: he's not interested in, and I understand that versus music

811
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 2: as a hobby that we both share. And it's an

812
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 2: easier thing to have people come and support.

813
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 3: Stop making excuses for him.

814
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you can just come support us every weekday

815
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 2: when we go live on.

816
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 3: YouTube at three PMPST. Just tap on our programs. Tap it.

817
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 2: Maybe it's a bit of jealousy that I felt, and

818
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 2: maybe just wanted some attention because he's a very good

819
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:26,240
Speaker 2: musician and has had many big performances for both his singing,

820
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 2: and he plays many instruments and is just a very

821
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 2: talented person. I will never not be his biggest supporter.

822
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: He never has to worry about people not being in

823
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 2: the audience because he knows that me, his parents, and

824
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 2: other family members will be there in a heartbeat. I

825
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,399
Speaker 2: love him a lot, and this was just a little

826
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 2: hiccup in the relationship. I need to find people who

827
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,879
Speaker 2: share similar interests in hobbies because there are other things

828
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 2: that we can do together. Running an exercise is more

829
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 2: of an individual activity, where music is something that can

830
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,399
Speaker 2: bring people together. So it isn't that he doesn't care

831
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 2: about me or anything. I still have the.

832
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 3: Conversation about it. You made it very clear that like

833
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 3: how much.

834
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 2: It would mean to you for him to have like

835
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 2: he didn't do it for you to have his support,

836
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 2: and he completely blew that off. So over a seven

837
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 2: thirty start time. Come on, thanks for all the replies

838
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 2: and the advice. I really appreciate it, and.

839
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 3: We really appreciate you, Op, We freaking appreciate you very much.

840
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 3: I think we've given our advice.

841
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's it.

842
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 3: I think it's my advice.

843
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 2: I think it's right where you're like, it's not this

844
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 2: not like a world ending problem for our relationship. We

845
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 2: can find other things that we want to do together.

846
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 2: But it really does bother me that you made it

847
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 2: so so really clear that it would mean the world

848
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 2: to you if he was just there for you and

849
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 2: he could not care less good.

850
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I don't think you can. You should let

851
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 3: have to let him off hook so much. Yeah, and

852
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 3: he hasn't changed.

853
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 2: So I think, yeah, I agree. We love you. Thanks

854
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 2: for the story. We hope that he We hope that

855
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 2: he shows up to at least one of your races

856
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:52,720
Speaker 2: in the future.

857
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 3: I really hope. So my friend's husband hates my husband

858
00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 3: for showing him up. Now I think their marriage is ending.

859
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 3: I'm writing this post because my best friend Kate husband

860
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 3: Bert called my husband Tim and Ah. I have historically

861
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 3: kept my opinion of Bert's behavior to a minimum on

862
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 3: the grounds that good friends say their piece once and

863
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:20,280
Speaker 3: then love each other through crap relationships. But I'm asking

864
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 3: internet strangers to be the judge. By the way, this

865
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 3: comes from crap kid Throwaway on the okay, storytime supparate it.

866
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 3: So I am traveling for work. Kate is stuck at

867
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 3: home working at seven months pregnant on modified bed rest.

868
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 3: Generally during the week I drop over once or twice

869
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 3: to bring her family some dinner.

870
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: Oh.

871
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: Tim cooks extra portions once a week to share. That's

872
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 3: so nice. It's like, great, he cooks. He's nice. Maybe

873
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 3: cheer her up, read her oldest a couple of bedtime

874
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 3: stories so that mom can go to bed early and

875
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 3: get some sleep. Nice Tim, All right. Bert works an

876
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 3: office job. Ugh, stressful, I'm sure, but during her pregnancy,

877
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,320
Speaker 3: he's been working longer and longer hours salary not overtime.

878
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 3: She's been sad and a bit lonely. Yes, I've suggested

879
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 3: counseling with that for background. This evening, she and I

880
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,239
Speaker 3: were texting. It was about six ish and she got

881
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 3: a craving for a taco place near my house. Uh

882
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 3: oh and importantly near Bert's office. She says. She asked

883
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:17,919
Speaker 3: him to grab her some on his way home.

884
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 2: Oh, I see you, I see you.

885
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 3: Oh. He says he's not stopping. Bert said that the husband,

886
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 3: he's got work at home and she should just door

887
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,399
Speaker 3: dash something close. This makes her extremely sad, she says,

888
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 3: irrationally sad. But you be the judge, because he used

889
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 3: to surprise her with her favorite tacos, and now he

890
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 3: can't be bothered.

891
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 4: Dang, And then he got then she got pregnant, and

892
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 4: now he doesn't like her and he's probably cheating on her.

893
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 3: I hate him, Come on, as one does. I tell

894
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 3: Tim I'm three states away, so it was just part

895
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 3: of our chat. And as I was getting back to

896
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 3: the hotel and getting ready for work dinner. I get

897
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 3: back from dinner and Tim had gone and picked her

898
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 3: up tacos, remember the bag of things I'd collected for

899
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 3: her and the kid that were in my car, and

900
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 3: pulled a tuna casserole from the freezer. Bert hates tune

901
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,760
Speaker 3: a cast role. He dropped them off on the porch

902
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 3: and just texted her that there were some things I

903
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 3: wanted her to have. Okay, nice, nice, This is so sweet.

904
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 3: Then fricking Bert gets home. Did he bring tacos, coloring

905
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 3: books or a good attitude? No, he did not. He

906
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 3: called Tim to tell him that he was an a

907
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 3: hole for showing him up. Other colorful language was also used,

908
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 3: including some fairly sexist nonsense. He also texted me telling

909
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 3: me to keep my husband away from his wife. Tim

910
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 3: did respond rudely when Bert called, Kate says he told

911
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 3: Bert he was a failure as a human, a man,

912
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 3: a father, and a husband all four. Apparently that caused

913
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 3: Bert to scream expletives so loud their daughter started to cry.

914
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 3: Oh dude, Burt st up.

915
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: Bert, we Ate, go back to your office job.

916
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, leave everyone alone? Not good. Tim then hung up

917
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 3: on Bert, blocked him and texted Kate that if she

918
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: needed someone in an emergency, she knew what to call,

919
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 3: but he wasn't putting up with her crap husband any long.

920
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 3: It's a giant cluster and I have no idea what's

921
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: going to happen. My husband feels bad things escalated so much,

922
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 3: particularly since their daughter was crying. He feels like an

923
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,439
Speaker 3: ale at the moment. Obviously, Bert thinks he's an a hole.

924
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 3: I think he's a sweet man.

925
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 2: He was.

926
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:13,879
Speaker 3: He didn't do anything wrong.

927
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 2: It's going the extra mile.

928
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,320
Speaker 3: What do you guys think? And there is an update?

929
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 3: I think that the only a hole here is Bert.

930
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and your friend needs to leave them?

931
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, because you were covering Bert's butt and making sure

932
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 4: that this friend is like feeling loved and.

933
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 3: Cared for exactly, and what was Bert doing? Workers salaried

934
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 3: over to the job say no, door dash not a

935
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 3: happy update, Oh no. TLDR version is that they are

936
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 3: separating for unrelated reasons.

937
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 2: Interesting.

938
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 3: I disagree that they were unrelated. I feel like maybe

939
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 3: it wasn't the taco incident, but it was the behavior

940
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 3: lighter life.

941
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 4: It was a pyramid of things. This was like like

942
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,399
Speaker 4: a level three or four up and then the other

943
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 4: foundations have been falling apart.

944
00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 2: Just kind of fell with it.

945
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 3: Yep. This update is shared with Kate and Tim's permission

946
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 3: for reasons Bert can go f himself. Bert did email

947
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 3: Tim this morning to apologize. Bert said he had forgotten

948
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 3: I was out of town and he didn't realize that

949
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 3: Tim was dropping off the meal train food. It was

950
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:17,240
Speaker 3: a weird email for many reasons, but Tim responded politely,

951
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 3: if noncommittal. Tim hasn't changed his view of Bert, in

952
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 3: part because of what happened between Burt and Kate. This afternoon.

953
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 3: Bert also texted me to apologize, but I didn't get

954
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 3: his message until after I landed, and by then everything

955
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 3: else had happened. I've elected not to respond. Bert went

956
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 3: home around noon after staying at a hotel last night.

957
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 3: Kate's sister had taken their daughter to the park so

958
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 3: Burt and Kate could talk it out. Short version is

959
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 3: that Bert has been avoiding Kate because she's not happy

960
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 3: during this pregnancy. I mentioned in a comment that Kate

961
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 3: has been married previously, and shortly after her first husband died,

962
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 3: she had complications in a pregnancy that forced her on

963
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 3: bed rest. Ah Man, Unfortunately, her son didn't make it.

964
00:43:55,880 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 3: What a horrible like your uh husband passes away, your

965
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 3: child passes away? No wonder she's so sad lonely. Her

966
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 3: current pregnancy is bringing up a lot of painful memories,

967
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 3: and she's scared she won't be able to make it

968
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 3: full term. So yes, she's not as cheery as she

969
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 3: was when she was pregnant with her daughter. It's a

970
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:18,280
Speaker 3: difficult time. Bert is frustrated and angry that she's not happy,

971
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 3: so he's been staying late and ignoring her until she

972
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 3: stops doing that. I know that sounds horrid, but I

973
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 3: think they could have worked through those feelings. But as

974
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 3: he was explaining how he felt, he said she should

975
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 3: be glad her son wasn't there, because otherwise she wouldn't

976
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 3: have this life at all. Oh so yeah, that still

977
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 3: knocks the wind out of me. It's so cruel. I'm

978
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 3: so glad they're getting separated. Horrible or a monster?

979
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 2: Ah yeah, Yeah.

980
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 3: She did talk to him about that statement, but the

981
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 3: explanation didn't get better in any event. For her. That

982
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 3: was just the end. She told him she was done.

983
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 3: They can work out joint custody, but the marriage was over.

984
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 3: She called her sister and she and her husband encourage

985
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,879
Speaker 3: Bert to leave. By the way, you can never leave

986
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 3: us if you join us live every week to have

987
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 3: three PMPSD on YouTube. It's tap her profile at the streets.

988
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 3: Bert is for the street. You gotta dessert Bert because

989
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 3: he sucks. That's right, Bert into the irt cloud.

990
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 2: There we go and get you a dessert.

991
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 3: After you get you raid for dessert because you deserve

992
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 3: it and Bert is the worst.

993
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: Also, good for you for like stepping up. Yeah that's awesome.

994
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 2: I just need to do that for someone one day.

995
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like you really care for your friend.

996
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 2: Even if they are pescatarian, and I have to make

997
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 2: them a toon on a cast role.

998
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 3: I appreciate that currently Kate's not angry or sad or panicked.

999
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 3: She's just done nice personally. I'm surprised since they've weathered

1000
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 3: some fairly crappy things, including infidelity by him. Oh, but

1001
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 3: I guess that was the line. In any event, her

1002
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:45,240
Speaker 3: D and D friends are over there for Saturday games

1003
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 3: and they're eating waffles. She thought it was important for

1004
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 3: the Internet to know that waffles are appropriate separation food

1005
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 3: in terms of her well being, which many kind souls

1006
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 3: were worried about. They have a prenup, let's go. The

1007
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 3: house is hers, his family property is his. I'm sure

1008
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:02,879
Speaker 3: there will be a fight over custody, but she will

1009
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,839
Speaker 3: be financially okay. In any event, she has family and

1010
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 3: friends who will help and support regardless of what happens,

1011
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 3: and that is the end of the story.

1012
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 2: I think he probably was also cheating during that.

1013
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,399
Speaker 3: I don't trust him if he was that, Like if

1014
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 3: you because there's so many stories where you know, people

1015
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 3: are like, oh, I don't want to be there for

1016
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 3: my wife, what she's pregnant, and they go cheat and

1017
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,359
Speaker 3: they go cheat. Yeah, I don't trust him.

1018
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 4: I think he's spending all that overtime. That was pointless

1019
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 4: because yeah, he's on salary.

1020
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 3: He's freaking on salary, So what is he doing. Yeah,

1021
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 3: he's out of her life and that's good. But that

1022
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 3: is the end of that story, so we'll see you

1023
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 3: for the next one.

1024
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 4: My husband neglects me for video games. When I got upset,

1025
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 4: he told me, I need to find my own friends.

1026
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 3: Maybe you need to find a new husband.

1027
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 4: My husband is in the military and we finally live

1028
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 4: together after being a part for a little over a year.

1029
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,400
Speaker 4: I love him so much and I would do anything

1030
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,919
Speaker 4: for him. Lately, though, the new Call of Duty came

1031
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 4: out and he usually plays it for about an hour

1032
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 4: after work, which doesn't bother me because I know he

1033
00:46:58,840 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 4: needs time to.

1034
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 3: RelA sEH, about an hour is not too crazy.

1035
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:02,720
Speaker 2: That's not crazy.

1036
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 4: But after it's sort of like I go stream and

1037
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 4: then I go play video game that is simulating a

1038
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 4: streaming thing.

1039
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 2: By the way, this.

1040
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 4: Comes from Loser Teens two on the r slash Okay

1041
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 4: story Tom subren So. However, with his schedule, Healing gets

1042
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 4: one three day weekend every two weeks Friday through Saturday,

1043
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,720
Speaker 4: and on days he works, he usually works from eleven

1044
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 4: am and gets home anywhere between nine pm and eleven

1045
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 4: pm on his three day weekends. We always try to

1046
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 4: find at least one thing to do together so that

1047
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 4: at least we get to spend the day together making memories.

1048
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 4: This weekend, we're supposed to go to the zoo. His

1049
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 4: friend stayed over Friday night and left yesterday Saturday morning.

1050
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,280
Speaker 4: After breakfast. I spent all morning making a breakfast recipe

1051
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 4: I found online, and when we ate, his friend left.

1052
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 4: After his friend left, we sat on the couch for

1053
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 4: a bit so that I could have a break after cooking,

1054
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 4: and my husband goes on to his video game.

1055
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 2: It was a little before noon. At this point, I

1056
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 2: asked him how long he'd be on because we're supposed

1057
00:47:57,880 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 2: to go to the zoo, and all of a sudden,

1058
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 2: he didn't want to go anymore.

1059
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 4: So I got annoyed and I told him that I

1060
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 4: didn't want to watch him play video games all day

1061
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 4: and that if he needed me, i'd be upstairs. I

1062
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 4: stayed in bed pretty much all day, board out of

1063
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 4: my mind. We just moved to a new state, and

1064
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 4: I don't have any friends and I don't know the

1065
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 4: area yet, so that's why I didn't leave my husband

1066
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,879
Speaker 4: still didn't come up. I had gone down a few

1067
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 4: times to ask him please turn it off and spend

1068
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 4: time with me, but he said he was busy doing

1069
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 4: a challenge with his friends.

1070
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 3: That's so mean that I don't like it.

1071
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 4: Quick quick, they're coming in my back door. They're on me.

1072
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,279
Speaker 4: They're only pull out, pull out on my left. He's

1073
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 4: coming on my left. He's coming on his left. That's

1074
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 4: the challenge that we're doing.

1075
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 3: The challenge is great, that's great.

1076
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 4: I had asked him that a couple of times through

1077
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 4: the day, and eventually I just gave up. At eleven pm,

1078
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 4: he was still playing his game and I just went

1079
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 4: to bed. At two am, he woke me up, getting

1080
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 4: under the covers and trying to caddle me two am.

1081
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 3: He went to bed at two am after playing games

1082
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 3: all day.

1083
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 2: He played for probably like he played for fourteen hours.

1084
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 3: I legitimately that is kind of crazy to me because

1085
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 3: I get like, I can't do that.

1086
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 4: I did that once, and that was for me playing Minecraft,

1087
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 4: and I was mainly doing things to help Andrea out

1088
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 4: on in our world.

1089
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was like it was a weird day too.

1090
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 2: I just like did not do anything that day.

1091
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, some people have more longevity than me. I think

1092
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 3: it's like my I don't know, it's my attentions, man,

1093
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 3: Like I can't. I can't spend all day like you know,

1094
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 3: like sometimes even with TV, I can't spend more than

1095
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 3: two hours only like I have to get up on

1096
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 3: the go.

1097
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 2: Ah, that's cool.

1098
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 4: I told him, no, I have been asking for attention

1099
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 4: all day and you wouldn't give it to me until

1100
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:37,359
Speaker 4: we are going to sleep, so you don't get to

1101
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 4: touch me now. I got frustrated and moved to the

1102
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 4: spare room and slept there. On my way out of

1103
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 4: the room, he apologized, but I stood my ground because

1104
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 4: I was frustrated. This morning Sunday, I woke up and

1105
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 4: took a shower and then went back to the spare

1106
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 4: room while my hair dried. I heard him get up

1107
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 4: and he instantly went downstairs. He did it check on me,

1108
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 4: which was weird to me because when we argue, we

1109
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 4: usually always apologie eyes in the morning. But I figure

1110
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 4: out that since I actually moved into a different room,

1111
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 4: that it was a different story and I had moved

1112
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,879
Speaker 4: past that but still stayed in the room. I heard

1113
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 4: him downstairs start playing the video game again.

1114
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 2: I'm on. At this point, I was livid.

1115
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 3: I'd be so upset if I was like, Hey, I

1116
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 3: want you to spend time with me, like the whole

1117
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 3: day yesterday and he just didn't do it, and then

1118
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 3: instead of apologizing, he freaking goes and plays the video

1119
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 3: game again.

1120
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, you had your day. You had your day. I

1121
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,439
Speaker 4: need like a half a day of just not doing.

1122
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 3: Anything sometimes sometimes I just need like a med day,

1123
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 3: like half a me day. I can't do a whole

1124
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 3: day by myself, though I get I get bored.

1125
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.

1126
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 4: I couldn't do it, and like that's usually kind of

1127
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 4: what Angie and I do, Like I'll just kind of

1128
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 4: like have half a me day doing whatever and then

1129
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 4: go see her and like.

1130
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I can't.

1131
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 4: I'm I don't understand this, like just playing video games

1132
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 4: so much Dakota or addicted to this new Call of

1133
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:50,359
Speaker 4: Duty game.

1134
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 3: I can't. I just I can't.

1135
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 4: I give it about another hour or so so that

1136
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 4: I can cool off and then go downstairs in front

1137
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 4: him about it again. I said, look, I love that

1138
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 4: you have friends, I really do, but you also have

1139
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 4: a wife here and you need to spend time with me.

1140
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 4: And then He told me, you need to go make

1141
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 4: some friends because I don't always want to spend time

1142
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 4: with you.

1143
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 3: Like she's asking for one day and you're married, dude,

1144
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 3: and you're freaking married. That makes no sense. I totally

1145
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,720
Speaker 3: understand that, you know, she should have time with friends

1146
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 3: and stuff. It shouldn't always be with your partner. But

1147
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 3: you just moved to a new place and she's asking

1148
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:25,800
Speaker 3: for one day that you guys already planned to have together.

1149
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 4: And it's easy to hop on a game with your friends, yeah,

1150
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 4: because they're already on there. Yeah, but it's hard to

1151
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 4: actually make a good relationship with other people. Yeah, come on,

1152
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 4: I agree. I do want friends here too, but I

1153
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 4: just don't want to just meet someone off of the

1154
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 4: internet and then go to the zoo. I told him

1155
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 4: I do have friends, and he said name one in

1156
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 4: a super mocking way that made me.

1157
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:48,240
Speaker 3: Feel so bad.

1158
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 4: I went upstairs and started crying and we played back

1159
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 4: in my head all the time.

1160
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,800
Speaker 2: He's just broken my trust.

1161
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 4: A few hours went by, I went downstairs again and

1162
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 4: it's the same thing. I said, can we please walk'ch

1163
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 4: a movie or something. I've cooled down. I'm sorry, and

1164
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 4: he said it's too late. I'm already in a game.

1165
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:09,919
Speaker 4: Why don't you just go to the gym. I took

1166
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 4: the hint and I went back upstairs.

1167
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 3: I freaking hate this guy.

1168
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 2: What the actual heck?

1169
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,239
Speaker 3: How do you think that you're in the right ear.

1170
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 2: You were playing video games when you have a whole

1171
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 2: wife right there for you to hang out with you.

1172
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 3: Some people don't have a whole wife. You got a

1173
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 3: whole wife.

1174
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:26,239
Speaker 4: By now, it was six pm, and I went down

1175
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 4: and asked if he wanted to have dinner together and

1176
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,839
Speaker 4: watch a movie to wich. He replied, I just say,

1177
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:33,319
Speaker 4: and I snapped and I said, of course you ate,

1178
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 4: and you didn't even ask me if I was hungry,

1179
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 4: because all you've done for the past three days is

1180
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 4: think about yourself. And then he said, I love you,

1181
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 4: but I always spend time with you, and I don't

1182
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 4: always want to hang out with you. It really hurt

1183
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 4: me because now it feels like every time we do

1184
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 4: something together, he's not having fun with me. I told him,

1185
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 4: you heard me crying and you didn't even come to

1186
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:55,959
Speaker 4: check if I was okay, and I would have checked

1187
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,240
Speaker 4: on you. And he said, I don't want to listen

1188
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 4: to you cry, and if you.

1189
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:00,919
Speaker 2: Have to cry.

1190
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 4: You can watch this every weekday at three PMPSD. Just

1191
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 4: step her profile streaking.

1192
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 3: Divorce, Leave him. He sucks. Like you're expressing your feelings

1193
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 3: and your emotions. He's like, your emotions are so annoying.

1194
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,840
Speaker 3: I hate this, so frustrating. I have to listen to

1195
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 3: you cry when I could be playing Call of Duty.

1196
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 4: I hate him, and it's weird that before he's never

1197
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 4: done anything like this. All of a sudden, he's doing this.

1198
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 4: I would I would look into it and see if

1199
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 4: there's something that's changed, but it doesn't seem like he's

1200
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 4: giving you that attention.

1201
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:33,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, the moving in together, the moving away from everyone

1202
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 3: they know, I think that does change a lot when

1203
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 3: you have to kind of rely, like one of you

1204
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 3: is more relying on the other for company and stuff

1205
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 3: because it's a new place.

1206
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 4: We went back and forth and now I'm back upstairs again,

1207
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 4: wishing that I had a husband that cared about me.

1208
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 4: I just feel like he's prioritizing other things over me,

1209
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 4: and it's really taken a toll on my mental health.

1210
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 4: Like I said, I don't mind him doing it or

1211
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 4: having friends at all, but it's becoming a problem in

1212
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:01,319
Speaker 4: our relationship. I know I've had some rude things too,

1213
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:04,840
Speaker 4: but honestly, would I be the bad apple if I left?

1214
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 4: I also want to add that my husband cheated on

1215
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 4: me three times, never physically, never physically, but it was

1216
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 4: mentally and always included me and my appearance getting talked

1217
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 4: bad about. We decided to move past it now, but

1218
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 4: it still affects me, and every time I bring it up,

1219
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 4: he tells me the same thing. It's your fault for

1220
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,560
Speaker 4: choosing to stay with me. If I'm being dramatic about

1221
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 4: the video games, I just wanted this to be known

1222
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 4: for context, because maybe it's not all necessarily the video games,

1223
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 4: but it's me being self conscious from other past things.

1224
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 4: Let me know, Eve, I think it was the other things.

1225
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 4: I think it's all of those things. He sucks and

1226
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 4: he doesn't care about you, which is so sad, but

1227
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 4: it's the case, and you need to leave. He just

1228
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 4: wants things that are easy. Yeah, he was like, you

1229
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 4: should have not been with me. If you didn't want

1230
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 4: to abuse me, why didn't you break up with me?

1231
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 4: There's no takes back.

1232
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,399
Speaker 3: You can't say that you're mad at me for those

1233
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 3: things when you took me back?

1234
00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 2: What kind of response. Is that just a.

1235
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:05,320
Speaker 3: Baby baby man, baby man, babyman. Get out of here, dude,

1236
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 3: I hate you. That is wild sucks. But that's the

1237
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 3: end of that story, so we'll see you next time.

1238
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 3: My friend is having an affair with a married coworker,

1239
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 3: so I'm telling his wife as you should. So my

1240
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 3: best friend, let's call her D, and I, both twenty

1241
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 3: two female, have known each other since middle school. D

1242
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,360
Speaker 3: is super friendly and outgoing, always ready to help, and

1243
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 3: honestly just a great friend. She's always been a bit

1244
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 3: lily crazy, but I didn't mind back then because I

1245
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 3: was more focused on school and not interested in relationships

1246
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,720
Speaker 3: during that time. By the way, this comes from Dapper

1247
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 3: Badger forty five to fifty three on the Okay Storytime separated.

1248
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 3: So we share most of our friends from school, and

1249
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 3: we've had this big group of friends ever since. After graduation,

1250
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 3: we all went to different universities, so I only heard

1251
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 3: about her life through our group chat. Now a little background.

1252
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 3: D comes from a very strict and religious family, so

1253
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 3: even though she was boy crazy in high school, it

1254
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 3: was mostly harmless. She had some relationships but always talked

1255
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 3: about saving herself for marriage. Let's go all right, However,

1256
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:11,320
Speaker 3: things changed once she went to college. All right, right,

1257
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 3: she'd always come back from parties and spilled the tea

1258
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 3: in our group chat about the guys she made out with.

1259
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 3: At first, it was all fun and games, nothing serious,

1260
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:23,439
Speaker 3: and definitely no hookups. At least that's what she said.

1261
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 3: D is one of those people who falls for someone

1262
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 3: pretty fast. Every guy who gave her attention became her

1263
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 3: new crush man. Eventually, the group chat started feeling like

1264
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:36,360
Speaker 3: Dee's personal boy diary. She would chase after guys and

1265
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 3: let her academic slide oh, which led to her taking

1266
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 3: out a bunch of loans. Oh my god, because.

1267
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 2: You probably didn't get those scholarships.

1268
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, though, that's a whole other story. Fast forward to

1269
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,040
Speaker 3: our last year of college, d found what she thought

1270
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 3: was the guy for a serious relationship. We didn't really

1271
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 3: approve of him, but didn't try to stop her either.

1272
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,880
Speaker 3: Long story short, he played her, used her, and dumped

1273
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 3: her for words. She was devastated because she had really

1274
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,600
Speaker 3: fallen for him. After they broke up, she went on

1275
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:04,720
Speaker 3: a bit of a wild streak with friends with benefit

1276
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:08,839
Speaker 3: hookups and one night stands almost every weekend. Damn, he

1277
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 3: really didn't numb brought her. Yeah, we tried to be

1278
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 3: there for her and help from a distance, but she

1279
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 3: always insisted she was fine. Here's the thing, We're not

1280
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 3: from the US, and in our country, random hookups are

1281
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 3: pretty frowned upon. Still, I always thought her personal life

1282
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:27,680
Speaker 3: was none of my business until recently. After university, D

1283
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 3: landed a job at a bank where our mutual friend

1284
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 3: A also works let's call her Allison. Recently, she got

1285
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 3: transferred to a new department where most of the workers

1286
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:39,479
Speaker 3: are pretty young, and she quickly became close to this guy,

1287
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,480
Speaker 3: let's call him Emmett thirty Mail. They would hang out

1288
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 3: a lot, go out for smokes, grab coffee, and there

1289
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 3: was a lot of flirting involved. Then Alison found out

1290
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 3: through coworkers that Emmett was married with a little kid.

1291
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 3: Oh no, she told De right away, and d swore

1292
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 3: she'd never mess around with a married man. Fast forward

1293
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 3: a bit, De admitted to kissing him, but promised it

1294
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 3: wouldn't happen again.

1295
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 4: Oh no, girl, I just wanted to smoke the same

1296
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 4: cigar and.

1297
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 3: Aci touched. We were just close talking. A few weeks later,

1298
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 3: she called me in tears, saying they slept together. Oh Wow,

1299
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 3: whoa Gurley? Okay, Gurley, I.

1300
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 2: Was maybe giving you the benefit of a doubt for

1301
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 2: the kissing thing, but dang.

1302
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 3: Curly, come on, No dean knows how I feel about cheating.

1303
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 3: My dad cheated on my mom, and I witnessed the

1304
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 3: pain it caused firsthand. I was honestly speechless when she

1305
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 3: told me. She promised she would cut ties with Emmett.

1306
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 3: But now we all know that they're still meaning up,

1307
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:43,400
Speaker 3: going on friendly hangouts and sleeping together. She doesn't seem

1308
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,800
Speaker 3: to regret it at all. So here is my dilemma.

1309
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 3: I'm planning to end our friendship. I think that's completely fair.

1310
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 3: You guys have different different morals here. She does not

1311
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 3: care about cheating, you know, having an affair with someone.

1312
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 3: I'm disgusted by what she's doing, and it's hard for

1313
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 3: me to even call her my friend at this point.

1314
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 3: I've already told some of our mutual friends, but none

1315
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 3: of them are on my side. They think this is

1316
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 3: a minor thing that's not worth ending a long time

1317
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 3: friendship over. They say we don't even know Emmett or

1318
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 3: his wife personally, and that I'm an a hole. Your

1319
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 3: friends also kind of suck Anyone who's condoning this behavior

1320
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 3: is not is not good. I don't think I'm an

1321
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 3: a hole, but their comments have made me doubt myself.

1322
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole? And there is an update? No,

1323
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 3: I don't think you're the ale at all.

1324
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 2: No, you have morals. Yeah, I'm surprised she's not trying

1325
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 2: to go to the wife and tell me to go.

1326
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 3: It's crazy that all the friends are like, Oh, you're

1327
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 3: the Ale for not wanting to be friends with this person.

1328
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 2: Wait until she gets he gets publicly shamed. In the.

1329
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,160
Speaker 3: Thank you all for your feedback. I read almost everything

1330
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 3: and notice that some people have raised questions which I'd

1331
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 3: like to address. Yes, it turned out that Emmett is

1332
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:50,080
Speaker 3: actually married, as many typical unfaithful man, and he told

1333
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:52,280
Speaker 3: THEE that he and his wife have been distant for

1334
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 3: a long time. Shut up dude, that he plans to

1335
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:57,560
Speaker 3: divorce her then do it, but wife is currently in

1336
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 3: a bad condition. He also mentioned that he's been cheating

1337
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 3: on her for a while and that everything is fine

1338
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 3: and blah blah blah.

1339
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 4: What I feel like he's just saying, I mean she

1340
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 4: not for ages, so we're distant relationship.

1341
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 3: Basically, it's open on my end and she doesn't know

1342
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 3: about that. I immediately warned Dee that these are the typical

1343
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 3: excuses that cheating husbands say, and she said she understands that,

1344
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:20,760
Speaker 3: but continues to see them. I don't want to simply

1345
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:23,800
Speaker 3: avoid or ignore d We are actually quite close friends.

1346
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 3: After finishing university, we all move back to our hometown,

1347
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 3: and despite her busy work schedules, we still see each

1348
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 3: other at least twice a month. I want to have

1349
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 3: an honest conversation with her about why your current relationship

1350
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 3: bothers me. Some people here think I'm being the judgmental

1351
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 3: b and I admit that I am judging her right now.

1352
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 3: You have a right to judge her. She's doing something bad.

1353
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 3: There is a difference between her like you know, sleeping

1354
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 3: with people. That's totally different. You shouldn't be judging her

1355
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 3: for that. But to judge her for doing something actually bad.

1356
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 3: Breaking up a marriage and a family homes fair reckon.

1357
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:55,880
Speaker 3: She's homewrecking, that is a fair thing to judge her for.

1358
01:00:57,080 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 3: I can't turn a blind eye while her spicy sleep

1359
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 3: life is none of my business. This situation conflicts with

1360
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 3: my personal values. Slash life morals. Yeah, maybe that's why

1361
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 3: she felt the need to call and tell me first

1362
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 3: about our relationship. I can't be sure, but I think

1363
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 3: she expected my disapproval. And we expect you to join

1364
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 3: us live every week to at three PMPST on YouTube.

1365
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 3: So just tap her profile. I honestly think maybe tell

1366
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 3: the wife.

1367
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'd would definitely more center a messenger.

1368
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:24,480
Speaker 3: I think what you do is you go to D

1369
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,440
Speaker 3: and you say, hey, I don't know if I can

1370
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 3: continue being friends with you if you continue this behavior.

1371
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 3: It just is totally unaligned with what I ultimately make

1372
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 3: it feel. And also I think that you need to

1373
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 3: tell this wife or I will.

1374
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1375
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 3: Ultimatum, Yeah, just ultimatum, Yeah, hardcore.

1376
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 2: I agree with that.

1377
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 4: I do think the only ultimatum you can have is

1378
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 4: whenever someone is cheating, yes, and you're like, you have.

1379
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 3: To tell where I will. I think that's a good ultimatum.

1380
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 3: I'm not asking our mutual friends to stop talking to her,

1381
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 3: but I did expect them to be more understanding of

1382
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 3: my decision. Also, as I mentioned before, D comes from

1383
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 3: a very strict religious family, almost to the point of

1384
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 3: being abusive. Always been understanding of her decisions and actions.

1385
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:05,200
Speaker 3: But this crosses the line of what I can accept.

1386
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:08,040
Speaker 3: D really needs therapy, and we've all told her this

1387
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:11,040
Speaker 3: many times, but as she said, she's not ready and

1388
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 3: I can't force her into it. Lastly, someone suggested I

1389
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 3: shouldn't form his wife. The idea hadn't crossed my mind before. Okay, wow,

1390
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 3: I barely know anything about Emmett other than his name

1391
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 3: and workplace. But now I'm considering how I might find

1392
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 3: his wife, which I think is fair easy. Social media,

1393
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:29,720
Speaker 3: social media social media hard. Yeah, I mean you can

1394
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 3: probably find on LinkedIn. You look up the workplace, you

1395
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:34,439
Speaker 3: find his job, and then you find the last name,

1396
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 3: and then you go on Instagram you find his Yeah.

1397
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 2: We go step by step over.

1398
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 3: I think either the route that you could go is

1399
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 3: either talk to your friend and say, hey, you need

1400
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 3: to tell him and I don't want to be friends

1401
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 3: with you, or you do it anonymously, go to the

1402
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 3: why you know, send a private message or something.

1403
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely profect message. If you have pictures, send the pictures. Yes,

1404
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 4: but I don't think you do any evidence

1405
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 3: You have, But that is the end of that story.