Speaker 1: Just we rented somebody's basement apartment in a house in Bronxville.
Speaker 1: We had not much money at all, but I remember
Speaker 1: asking my husband and his cousin, who's like older and
Speaker 1: is kind of our mentor.
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you think I should do?
Speaker 2: Is this crazy?
Speaker 1: And he said, why don't you go for it? I'll
Speaker 1: give you a temp job in our office. You're good
Speaker 1: at Excel. I'm good at Excel spreadsheets, and so see
Speaker 1: it's not as glamorous now. So I left Chanelle and
Speaker 1: did part time modeling and part time Excel spreadsheeting.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 2: I'm Stephanie Shostack and I have more holes in ones
Speaker 2: than Brian three.
Speaker 4: That is right, you have three holes in one hold
Speaker 4: in ones? Is it holes in one or a whole
Speaker 4: hole in ones? I don't know.
Speaker 2: You're the American one.
Speaker 4: Hi, everybody, and welcome. This is Off the Beat, a
Speaker 4: little podcast you might know with me, your host Brian Baumgartner.
Speaker 4: My guest today, Oh is Stephanie Showstack. She is amazing.
Speaker 4: She's a brilliant actor and she has a story that
Speaker 4: I think is just remarkable. I mean, look, I have
Speaker 4: a lot of great guests on this podcast with amazing stories.
Speaker 4: But a lot of time those stories start out with
Speaker 4: something like, well, I started doing this thing that I
Speaker 4: love doing when I was a kid, acting, playing football, whatever,
Speaker 4: and I pursued it. Then I got to this place
Speaker 4: I am today. There are great stories. They take a
Speaker 4: lot of work, don't get me wrong. But Stephanie, well,
Speaker 4: Stephanie did things a little bit differently. For one, she
Speaker 4: grew up in France, she moved across the ocean to
Speaker 4: the US for college. Then she went to New York
Speaker 4: and started a busy marketing career at Chanel. And then,
Speaker 4: long past her childhood or her college years, when she
Speaker 4: was twenty nine, in fact, she thought, hmm, maybe I'll
Speaker 4: take my first acting class and see what that's all about. Well,
Speaker 4: next thing you know, she's landing some of her first
Speaker 4: roles in major films alongside oh Meryl Streep, Steve Carell.
Speaker 4: Then she's eventually starring in shows like A Million Little Things.
Speaker 4: Now I'm gonna let Stephanie tell you how it all
Speaker 4: went down and what happened next, But just know this,
Speaker 4: she is delightful. She is a joy. I could not
Speaker 4: have enjoyed talking to her anymore. And I know that
Speaker 4: you're gonna love hearing from her and all about her
Speaker 4: new role if you will, as author in the mental
Speaker 4: health and wellness space. So here she is the very charismatic,
Speaker 4: the unique, admirable Stephanie show Stack.
Speaker 1: Bubble and squeak I love it bubble and squeigan bubble
Speaker 1: and squeiaga cook get every more left over from the
Speaker 1: night people.
Speaker 4: Well, hello, hi, how are you.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be with you. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for being with me. It's lovely
Speaker 4: to have you. By the way, Uh, bonjour, monsieur.
Speaker 2: Do you have anything to follow us out?
Speaker 4: Jaulan, Come onpol.
Speaker 1: That is the hardest thing to do in a foreign language,
Speaker 1: because I've been here for thirty years, and expressions idioms
Speaker 1: I still stumbled upon them. So you just had a
Speaker 1: really amazing French idiom here.
Speaker 4: There you go. Have you heard that one before?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: You have?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Did your Paul fol Sakum and vash espinor yet?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I so here was the thing I worked
Speaker 4: for a long time. By the way, everyone, she's French.
Speaker 4: In case you didn't know.
Speaker 2: That, only half. Don't hold it against me.
Speaker 4: Sorry half? Well, So I worked with a with a
Speaker 4: full French director in the theater for a long time,
Speaker 4: and I had trouble in Paris. You know, I love
Speaker 4: the French people. I love it's beautiful. They're not always
Speaker 4: nice if you don't speak the language. And in fact,
Speaker 4: i'll tell this brief story. No one can see me
Speaker 4: doing this. But it was pouring down rain one time,
Speaker 4: and I'm even an I'm even an actor. I'm not
Speaker 4: saying i'm a I'm a great one, but I'm even
Speaker 4: an actor. And I go into a like a hardware
Speaker 4: type store. I don't know what they called him in France,
Speaker 4: because guess what it was. It was raining outside and
Speaker 4: I could not remember the word paraplui, which that I
Speaker 4: will never forget now that means umbrella. So I'm in
Speaker 4: there and I'm like uh, and I start pantomizing mean
Speaker 4: the rain coming down and opening an umbrella, and the
Speaker 4: guy goes ah ah, brings brings me back a light bulb.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Well he was just being French.
Speaker 4: He was just being a smart ass, exactly. And so
Speaker 4: this this French director said you just have to try,
Speaker 4: and he taught me to say japol fon say kamen
Speaker 4: vashi Espanol, which means I speak French like a Spanish cow,
Speaker 4: and yes, without question, there would be like a like
Speaker 4: a and then they would laugh and then they would
Speaker 4: start speaking to me in English exactly.
Speaker 1: So I have a theory about that. Okay, I'll make
Speaker 1: it quick. My theory time. My theory is French people.
Speaker 1: The schooling in French. You have to understand, we're put
Speaker 1: down from grade one, like you are put down by
Speaker 1: the teachers, as opposed to America, when you're like, you know,
Speaker 1: you're encouraged. Oh right, In France, it's like you're an idiot,
Speaker 1: You're ridiculed in school all that. So we that's kind
Speaker 1: of how we are in life. We're afraid to make
Speaker 1: fools out of ourselves. And so the second you make
Speaker 1: a fool out of yourself and speak French with communis Spaniel,
Speaker 1: we feel I'm speaking for the whole country. We feel
Speaker 1: put at ease and we're like, oh okay, now it's
Speaker 1: it's okay.
Speaker 2: I can make you a fool out of myself and
Speaker 2: talk to you in English. That's my theory.
Speaker 4: Oh interesting, So it's not rooting inhospitable, it's them not
Speaker 4: wanting to sound foolish, speaking bad English.
Speaker 2: It's lack of confidence.
Speaker 4: Wow, that is the most protective I've ever heard of
Speaker 4: the French people. That is that is that is a theory.
Speaker 4: That is a theory that truly only someone from France
Speaker 4: would give. But I I like it a lot.
Speaker 2: Doesn't it make sense though?
Speaker 4: When yeah, it does make sense. But spoiler alert, Italy
Speaker 4: is right next to France. I don't know if you
Speaker 4: were aware of this growing up, But the Italians, that's not.
Speaker 4: They don't do that. So are they given more based
Speaker 4: on your theory? Are they given more confidences? Because they will,
Speaker 4: I feel like, go out of their way to attempt
Speaker 4: to I don't know, get you what you need, or
Speaker 4: like speak to communicate with you. That's my experience.
Speaker 1: You could kill You could not kill an Italian's confidence
Speaker 1: even if you tried.
Speaker 4: There you go, You're you're double down on it.
Speaker 2: And I have family. My aunt married in Italian, my
Speaker 2: cousins are Italian.
Speaker 4: Right, and they're confident and the French are not. Is
Speaker 4: what you're saying.
Speaker 2: I mean, look at our history. How could we be
Speaker 2: confident that that was a joke?
Speaker 4: It's well, yeah, exactly, I know, I hear, I see
Speaker 4: I paused because I wasn't. I wasn't going to go there.
Speaker 4: I was, I was, I wasn't going to go there
Speaker 4: despite our No, Actually we don't have any different opinions.
Speaker 4: I just I was taught why the French behave as
Speaker 4: they do by you. And that's very very interesting. I
Speaker 4: will remember that. I will remember that, just as I
Speaker 4: remember that phrase from now on.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've never worked I'm very curious to hear
Speaker 1: how your experience was working in Paris in the theater,
Speaker 1: because I've never worked on a French set or anything.
Speaker 4: Well, I will be honest, I will more, I will clarify.
Speaker 4: So I was, I was working in the United States
Speaker 4: in the theater, but it was a it was a
Speaker 4: Franco American I don't know, not Franco England, Franco American
Speaker 4: theater company, Theatre de la Jeunelum, and so half of
Speaker 4: the founding members were French and half were from the
Speaker 4: United States. They all trained in France at the Jacques l'coq. Yes, oh,
Speaker 4: there was some awareness. There we go. I love the book,
Speaker 4: but there you go. Well, this was a very very
Speaker 4: famous company and they performed for a while in France
Speaker 4: and in America. They eventually just performed in America. But
Speaker 4: I traveled overseas with with some of them to France
Speaker 4: just to visit and see their homeland or whatever. So
Speaker 4: but they would, to your point, they would in rehearsals,
Speaker 4: et cetera, they would start speaking very quickly. And I
Speaker 4: took I took French in school, so I did know French,
Speaker 4: but I think I was always bad at it. I
Speaker 4: don't know, I was bad at foreign language. So I
Speaker 4: could understand pretty well, but I could not speak it.
Speaker 2: So and you were Jacques Lecoque.
Speaker 4: No I was. I was. So they're like proteges. I
Speaker 4: guess they're some of their big students who worked with
Speaker 4: him and that you know, went to the school and
Speaker 4: then worked with him. They founded a theater company that
Speaker 4: was in the United States and in France. So I'm
Speaker 4: if it was Kevin Baker, I would be like two degrees,
Speaker 4: not one. I didn't. I didn't. I wasn't with Jacques.
Speaker 4: But but yes, it was. It was very interesting work
Speaker 4: and they were very interesting people. And I truly love
Speaker 4: the French, except you know, the language is a problem
Speaker 4: for me. So there you go. But that's where you're
Speaker 4: from just in Paris, rights in the suburbs, okay, just outside. Yeah, well,
Speaker 4: tell me a little bit about about your childhood there.
Speaker 4: Now I understand your dad. So you're half French. What's
Speaker 4: your other half?
Speaker 2: Half American?
Speaker 4: Half American? And similarly, you're half Jewish as well. Your
Speaker 4: dad was Jewish and your mom converted that.
Speaker 2: Wow, yes, you've done your home. Yeah, my dad's a
Speaker 2: Jew from Iowa.
Speaker 4: Oh, your dad was a Jew from I don't think
Speaker 4: there already Jews in Iowa. And I say that just
Speaker 4: based on I don't know my impression, I guess. Okay,
Speaker 4: So he was a Jew from Iowa. Yeah, and went
Speaker 4: to France.
Speaker 1: And went to France and stayed and met my mom
Speaker 1: and stayed in France. And so I grew up half
Speaker 1: in half and had an older brother. We grew up
Speaker 1: in the suburbs, sort of middle class, went to public schools,
Speaker 1: played golf.
Speaker 2: Yes, I know you're a golfer. I've done a little
Speaker 2: bit of homework too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, good, Yes, we're going to talk about that. Yes,
Speaker 4: So were you speaking? Were you speaking both English and French?
Speaker 4: Growing up?
Speaker 1: So my older brother spoke English without any accent. He
Speaker 1: spoke both and I came along and I refused to
Speaker 1: speak English. My dad would speak to me in English
Speaker 1: and I would just kind of like experience.
Speaker 4: Yes exactly. We were in France. We only speak French.
Speaker 1: But the reason for me is I didn't want to
Speaker 1: be different from all my friends and the kids, and
Speaker 1: it felt like weird. And yeah, that's why now I'm
Speaker 1: stuck with a French accent.
Speaker 4: Right? Was it about like having other kids see that
Speaker 4: you were speaking in English or or you wanted to
Speaker 4: also I'm guessing you wanted to have a just a
Speaker 4: could you have a French accent if you're speaking French?
Speaker 4: I don't know, but speak you wanted to be able
Speaker 4: to speak French like everyone else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just didn't want I was very shy growing
Speaker 1: up and I didn't want to be different. I had
Speaker 1: a brother who he was my hero, but he was
Speaker 1: a big troublemaker. He got into drugs and so I
Speaker 1: think I was eight years younger. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: rock the boat and I wanted to make no noise.
Speaker 1: And part of that was just fitting in everywhere I went,
Speaker 1: and that meant to speaking French.
Speaker 4: Right. You say you were shy, did you have any
Speaker 4: sort of inclination or feeling about performing or entertaining when
Speaker 4: you were younger.
Speaker 1: Well, every time I went to the movies, I loved movies,
Speaker 1: and every time I left, I imagined I was this
Speaker 1: person on the screen. But I thought probably everybody did that.
Speaker 1: I didn't dare to entertain it the idea. And also
Speaker 1: in the public schools, we had no arts whatsoever, so
Speaker 1: never took an acting class until I was twenty nine
Speaker 1: years old in New York City.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I had heard that, but now that is shocking
Speaker 4: to me. That is against everything that I would think
Speaker 4: that you had no arts in public school in France,
Speaker 4: no art, no music, no theater, no nothing.
Speaker 2: Nothing.
Speaker 1: In junior high we had one hour of music which
Speaker 1: was music theory and the you call it the recorder, right,
Speaker 1: and then we had two hours of gym per week.
Speaker 1: So it was all just academics. There was no budget
Speaker 1: for any I know you would think France and the arts,
Speaker 1: but no.
Speaker 4: You would No, you think culture, right, I mean you
Speaker 4: think European culture. Do you feel like growing up there?
Speaker 4: I mean you said you didn't want to speak English
Speaker 4: and you wanted to fit in with everyone. Were you well,
Speaker 4: were you visiting other countries. Were you exposed to other languages?
Speaker 4: You know, I mentioned Italy or Spain, Great Britain. Were
Speaker 4: you traveling around because I feel like growing up in
Speaker 4: Europe you do have a more diverse base of experiences
Speaker 4: and different peoples and cultures. Was that true for you
Speaker 4: or for sure? Okay?
Speaker 1: Because my so at first, my dad's American, and we
Speaker 1: came to the States every year to visit his family,
Speaker 1: and then we traveled throughout the States. But then my
Speaker 1: mom married an Italian man, so I went to Italy
Speaker 1: a lot, and then through golf later I competed and
Speaker 1: would go to you know, Luxembourg and Belgium and Switzerland,
Speaker 1: and you just for golf tournaments you take the train.
Speaker 4: And now all right, now, how serious a golfer are you? Are?
Speaker 4: You do you still play?
Speaker 1: Not much at all? But I do still play, but
Speaker 1: probably like six rounds a year. But I was very serious,
Speaker 1: Like I competed in I played college golf.
Speaker 4: You played college golf.
Speaker 2: I did, but I wasn't. I was a five.
Speaker 1: When you say that, you imagine scratch golfer. I was
Speaker 1: five handicap was the best that I ever got.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I do know from experience because I
Speaker 4: actually competed now that I think of it, in France
Speaker 4: at a golf course. Never going to remember the name
Speaker 4: of it, but I'll look it up. I'll send it
Speaker 4: to you. So there was a they started doing a
Speaker 4: Ryder Cup American versus Europeans for celebrities and I played
Speaker 4: in this and it was based in Monaco, Monte Carlo, Monaco,
Speaker 4: but that's where we stayed. But the golf course was
Speaker 4: up in the hills of France.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 4: Who won? We won? I think? No, we won, we won.
Speaker 2: I have the you know that I did that too.
Speaker 2: I did ride a cup celebrity in Whistling Straits.
Speaker 4: Oh you did it here?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we won?
Speaker 5: You did?
Speaker 4: Wait? This is crazy? Why were we not there at
Speaker 4: the same time. Wow?
Speaker 1: We have to do the next They didn't have one
Speaker 1: this year in Rome, but next time is in the States.
Speaker 2: We have to you have to get out.
Speaker 4: That's right, Okay, we have to do that. We have
Speaker 4: to make this happen. But so you're what are you now?
Speaker 4: You have? Well what I was going to say before
Speaker 4: is I know the handicapping thing. The way that they
Speaker 4: calculated is different. I do know that. I don't remember
Speaker 4: which is yes, more stringent. I don't. I just don't remember.
Speaker 1: So in France do your handicap is all? You only
Speaker 1: take into account your scores and tournaments. I mean, and
Speaker 1: I think it's changed now now, yeah, you know how
Speaker 1: here you just turn in your score.
Speaker 4: Your scores.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but now I shoot, I'm a ten or eleven.
Speaker 1: I shoot, you know, mid eighty eighty four would be
Speaker 1: a great day for me.
Speaker 4: We should play for money. You're a five and I'm
Speaker 4: a seven, and then let's let's you're a five. Listen,
Speaker 4: I paste this on lifetime ability for you. So, yeah,
Speaker 4: you're a five, I'm a ten, and we'll play a
Speaker 4: lot of money. No that, I love that. So what
Speaker 4: was it about golf that you loved that you responded
Speaker 4: to that? You? Why did you? Why did you love it?
Speaker 4: Why did you play?
Speaker 2: Well, that's going to say I didn't really love I
Speaker 2: didn't really love it.
Speaker 4: I was kind of just good at it.
Speaker 2: No, I was because I was born into it. My
Speaker 2: dad was a scratch golfer.
Speaker 6: Okay, we played golf because he was Because of his level,
Speaker 6: we were allowed to play in this country club in France,
Speaker 6: and that's just what we did as a family.
Speaker 1: I like to ride horses, but I wasn't really allowed
Speaker 1: to do that. I had to play golf. But I'm
Speaker 1: so happy now because you know, still playing like the
Speaker 1: Ryder Cup. I played in the Bob Hope the last
Speaker 1: year it was the Bob Hope. Yes, my husband caddies
Speaker 1: for me and he tells me who everybody is, because
Speaker 1: I don't know who people are, and it's the best experience.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's awesome. What brought you to the US college college?
Speaker 1: Because we don't have sports college sports, and we don't
Speaker 1: have liberal arts.
Speaker 2: You have to know what you want to do.
Speaker 1: You have to pick your subject, and I didn't know
Speaker 1: what that was. So I ended up at the College
Speaker 1: of William and Mary, which in colonial Williamsburg, which was
Speaker 1: quite a big culture.
Speaker 2: Shock, to say the least.
Speaker 1: There was really a tough year, and I did my
Speaker 1: year abroad my sophomore year in Paris.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, wait a second. That should not be allowed.
Speaker 4: That's not the point to go home. Is not the
Speaker 4: point of your year abroad.
Speaker 2: But Brian, I finished. I went back junior and senior year,
Speaker 2: so I in fact did three years abroad in one
Speaker 2: year at home.
Speaker 4: You've you've done that explanation before I can tell did
Speaker 4: you think you were coming here to get your liberal
Speaker 4: arts education and to play golf? Did you think you
Speaker 4: were just coming here for that and that you were
Speaker 4: going to go back to France? What was your What
Speaker 4: was your plan?
Speaker 2: I don't think I had a plan.
Speaker 1: I didn't know, okay, and I never really do have
Speaker 1: a plan. I think that's not I just came because
Speaker 1: I took a year off after high school. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, that's not really working for.
Speaker 2: Me playing golf.
Speaker 1: And I tried to go to a school in France
Speaker 1: and there was no seats.
Speaker 2: You had to sit on the steps.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's not great, and so I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, let's try America and golf.
Speaker 4: Okay, you didn't love it. This is so funny.
Speaker 1: I loved this well, but you know, and in a
Speaker 1: way just not to be serious at all, but it's
Speaker 1: kind of how easily you can get sidetracked in your
Speaker 1: life and doing the things that you're just put into
Speaker 1: and you follow that, and you follow that, and then
Speaker 1: it was not until later that finally I.
Speaker 2: Was like I did the same with a job.
Speaker 1: I got a job in corporate America and eventually I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, this is not my life.
Speaker 4: So, speaking of what you did not love to do,
Speaker 4: your focus was business and marketing in college, and you
Speaker 4: mentioned getting a job. What did you think this is
Speaker 4: what I should do, work for Chanel in New York
Speaker 4: out of college or was there some sort of passion
Speaker 4: there for you at all?
Speaker 1: Well, I've tried to get a job with a sports
Speaker 1: marketing company and I got an internship, but it didn't
Speaker 1: get me the job, and I was tempting, and then
Speaker 1: I got lucky and got a job. I did always
Speaker 1: love fashion, and it was a French company. I thought, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe I have something to bring to this or it
Speaker 1: felt like a good fit and it was fun. I
Speaker 1: had a great boss. I'm still friends with her. But
Speaker 1: there was just a little something. I was kind of like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember looking at my boss and her boss and thinking,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in those shoes.
Speaker 4: It's not really not what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's a conundrum, like how do you know
Speaker 1: what you I mean, some people have a passion and
Speaker 1: they know.
Speaker 2: You had theater. It sounds like I didn't really know
Speaker 2: what I didn't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was on that path early, like high school,
Speaker 4: I had an experience and was like, oh, no, this
Speaker 4: is this is what I'm going to do. Yes, but
Speaker 4: you forget I think, or I forget now how rare
Speaker 4: that is, right? I mean people go through an enormous
Speaker 4: different experiences before they sort of find the thing. I
Speaker 4: read that you landed through your job there at Chanel
Speaker 4: You had a modeling opportunity. Is that was this your
Speaker 4: first first? What was the model? What was the opportunity?
Speaker 4: What happened?
Speaker 1: The director of advertising said, we're doing a photo shoot
Speaker 1: for like an in house brochure. Do you want to
Speaker 1: be in it? And I was like okay. And the
Speaker 1: photographer said which modeling agency are you with? And I
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, I'm not a model. I'm smart.
Speaker 1: But then actually, and I was like, I'm way too old.
Speaker 1: I was twenty six by that time, and I'm too short.
Speaker 1: And he was like, no, no, I thought you were.
Speaker 1: And it just planted a seed and I thought, wait
Speaker 1: a second, could I be a model? Could I maybe
Speaker 1: make as much money as I'm making now and figure
Speaker 1: out what it is I want to do? And I
Speaker 1: was married at the time. We lived just we rented
Speaker 1: somebody's basement apartment in a house in Bronxville. We had
Speaker 1: not much money at all. But I remember asking my
Speaker 1: husband and his cousin, who's like older and is kind
Speaker 1: of our mentor.
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you think I should do?
Speaker 2: Is this crazy?
Speaker 1: And he said, why don't you go for it? I'll
Speaker 1: give you a temp job in our office. You're good
Speaker 1: at Excel. I'm good at Excel spreadsheets and so see
Speaker 1: it's not as glamorous now. So I left Chanelle and
Speaker 1: did part time modeling and part time Excel spreadsheeting.
Speaker 4: Wow were you able to find like a modeling agent
Speaker 4: pretty quickly?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that lucky.
Speaker 1: I was with Wilhelmina in their New Faces division, saying
Speaker 1: I was nineteen years old.
Speaker 4: Did you really Yeah? You said you were nineteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because the agent was the booking agent said you
Speaker 1: don't look your agent. If you say you're twenty six,
Speaker 1: they won't book you for junior jobs, but you won't
Speaker 1: book the whatever mature things either.
Speaker 2: I can't remember sophisticated. It's clear call it. You won't
Speaker 2: book the sophisticated jobs either.
Speaker 4: So I said I was nineteen and no one ever
Speaker 4: said anything. By the way, I thought that was illegal,
Speaker 4: and I do mean, well, now now.
Speaker 2: You can't ask somebody how old.
Speaker 4: They can't ask somebody how old you are. No, but
Speaker 4: back to look on Wikipedia. Yeah, but I didn't look it.
Speaker 4: It may not be true, it might not be true
Speaker 4: exactly right, But then you did? You you announced how
Speaker 4: old you were.
Speaker 2: People asked all the time, how old are you? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Really interesting?
Speaker 2: Or I did?
Speaker 1: I traveled and went to agencies they knew, but they
Speaker 1: told clients that.
Speaker 4: You were nineteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Uh. And then you decide to enroll in an acting class.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So but three years later I just kept asking them.
Speaker 1: With the agency modeling agency, I'd left to take an
Speaker 1: acting class, and they were like, you get too much of.
Speaker 2: An accent, you're too old. And I did.
Speaker 6: Commercials twenty six that's crazy, go ahead, And then I did.
Speaker 2: I did commercials.
Speaker 1: Then I just kept having this feeling inside and I
Speaker 1: remember calling. I went on the phone book and called
Speaker 1: an acting teacher and she said to me, what do
Speaker 1: you what do you want? I don't know what I said,
Speaker 1: but she said, I have a teacher for you. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know Sondra Lely.
Speaker 2: You heard that?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, yes.
Speaker 1: And she said she's really, really tough, but her class
Speaker 1: is amazing. They're working actors and there's also you know,
Speaker 1: people who's just starting out, and you should go check
Speaker 1: it out. And so I checked it out and I
Speaker 1: was blown away. And then I did my first monologue
Speaker 1: and I had what you just described. When it was over,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I need to do this.
Speaker 1: And it didn't mean I need to do this as
Speaker 1: a profession, but it was just I love this. I
Speaker 1: am feeling like me for the first time.
Speaker 2: And how was that?
Speaker 4: And you wanted to work, I mean like work on
Speaker 4: the craft, like taking classes and study.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, she was serious.
Speaker 1: I mean after that monologue, I did a scene I remember,
Speaker 1: a first scene work and she sent my partner back
Speaker 1: to his seat and she destroyed me because she was
Speaker 1: kind of like, who do you think you are? You
Speaker 1: can just waltz in here because you want to act.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, this is a serious craft and
Speaker 1: you are not allowed to get up from your seat
Speaker 1: until I tell you, so you're just gonna watch.
Speaker 7: And I was like, okay, Wow, did you find it
Speaker 7: difficult having a French accent initially working in the business.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and still to this day. And I worked with
Speaker 1: Sam Schwa. I don't know if you've heard his name before,
Speaker 1: but he was kind of a legend of a dialect
Speaker 1: coach in New York City, worked with The Near and
Speaker 1: Julia Roberts. He is amazing and not only I had
Speaker 1: a French accent, I had a little list of Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, and I still.
Speaker 2: Work on my dialect.
Speaker 1: It's I feel like it's an it's it's a lot
Speaker 1: of times I'm like, God, I wish I didn't have it,
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, well, if I didn't have it,
Speaker 1: maybe I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing either. Maybe
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gotten cast either.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Like it differentiates.
Speaker 3: You maybe, I mean, yeah, yeah, interesting an early role
Speaker 3: for you, very early, you had the opportunity to work
Speaker 3: with this other up and coming actress, Meryl Street, I
Speaker 3: mean literally one of your first roles.
Speaker 4: So what was that experience like for it? Were you
Speaker 4: a fan of hers before?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: So do you remember a show called Unscripted Yes with
Speaker 1: Brian Greenberg allowed him as an actor.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, yes, and then you.
Speaker 1: See him he got his first job and it was
Speaker 1: a movie with Meryl Streep and Uma Thurman.
Speaker 4: Okay, yes, I remember that now.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I'm in the living room watching the thing
Speaker 1: with my husband and I remember saying to him, God,
Speaker 1: could you imagine if my first studio film was with
Speaker 1: Meryl Streep?
Speaker 2: That would be amazing?
Speaker 1: And then, like, I don't know, a couple months later,
Speaker 1: I get this audition to play opposite her, and the
Speaker 1: director is David Frankel, and that's my maiden name, Frankel,
Speaker 1: and I was like, maybe this is a sign.
Speaker 9: It was, but I was really obviously so excited, and
Speaker 9: I put pictures of Meryl Streep all over my bathroom
Speaker 9: for three weeks leading up to it, so that I
Speaker 9: would see her every day and I wouldn't be so
Speaker 9: starstruck when I did finally, Is that true?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: You put up pictures to like make yourself familiar with
Speaker 4: looking at her.
Speaker 1: Yes, because I had to be this character who was,
Speaker 1: you know, her nemesis, so I didn't want to feel
Speaker 1: like beginner me playing opposite one of the most incredible
Speaker 1: actress in the world. She was unbelievable. It was amazing
Speaker 1: to watch her work. My role was really small, but
Speaker 1: I got I think three days and there was one
Speaker 1: day where there was.
Speaker 2: A lot of background.
Speaker 1: There's huge set, and you know, turnaround took a long time,
Speaker 1: and she was just standing there with her makeup artist
Speaker 1: who's been with her forever and just trying to stay
Speaker 1: in sort of concentrated, and I remember there was a
Speaker 1: lot of people, a lot of noise around her, and
Speaker 1: eventually she opened her eyes and she was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we need to find.
Speaker 2: Get a room. But it was cool to watch her.
Speaker 1: Being so patient and yet also reached that point where
Speaker 1: I need to take care of myself. She was amazing
Speaker 1: generous with you, oh beyond. We did a flashback scene
Speaker 1: where there was no dialogue and it was supposed to
Speaker 1: be a French cafe in the morning, and I wrote
Speaker 1: her card explaining the story of the unscripted thing before
Speaker 1: because I just said, I just need you to know
Speaker 1: this and I will remember this forever.
Speaker 2: And she was very sweet.
Speaker 1: But before we started shooting, she said, does this look
Speaker 1: good to you, Sephanie? Does this feel like parents? And
Speaker 1: I was like, well, it's morning. There wouldn't be tablecloths
Speaker 1: on the bistro tables, and she goes, you're right, let's
Speaker 1: go talk to David.
Speaker 4: I love that there you go, wow, I love see,
Speaker 4: I love I love I love stories like that, and
Speaker 4: I love generous actors who have accomplished a lot for me.
Speaker 4: It's one of the best lessons that I ever ever.
Speaker 4: I just told this story actually for the podcast, but
Speaker 4: I'll tell you very briefly that the experience that I
Speaker 4: had working with Robin Williams was very much the same
Speaker 4: way we worked together a few times, and his energy
Speaker 4: and his positivity and his openness to basically get a
Speaker 4: note or have a comment from anybody and to make
Speaker 4: everybody feel good ultimately only helps the process. You know. Unfortunately,
Speaker 4: I understand you've worked with some people who weren't so nice.
Speaker 4: Steve Carell.
Speaker 2: When you were saying Robin Williams generous, I was going
Speaker 2: to bring up Steve Carell because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as you know, I'm sure, but I did. This
Speaker 1: was my first lead female role in a big studio movie.
Speaker 1: I was very nerve again, and I did a scene
Speaker 1: with Steve and he so it's we always shoot his
Speaker 1: close up first, and the lines he was giving me
Speaker 1: was kind of like, I know about the sex, and
Speaker 1: my character is like the sex. Yes, I know about
Speaker 1: the sex, so we shoot his coverage and then we
Speaker 1: get on my coverage and you know, he's like, I
Speaker 1: know about the sex, and so I'm reacting probably the
Speaker 1: same way kind of, and all of a sudden he goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know about the sex the dirt, and he started
Speaker 1: getting filthy. I mean, I can't even repeat what he
Speaker 1: was saying. And I remember looking at him and thinking
Speaker 1: of my gosh, he's doing this just to get me
Speaker 1: to react the way.
Speaker 2: I mean, so generous, and he's very discreet too.
Speaker 1: He's it's all about the work and for all of
Speaker 1: us to come together and do something beautiful and have
Speaker 1: fun and play and surprise ourselves.
Speaker 2: I mean, it was amazing to watch him. It is
Speaker 2: and there's no ego. He has no ego.
Speaker 4: Yes, no, he absolutely is the best. I have to ask.
Speaker 4: So when you say discreet, I'm wondering if that's a
Speaker 4: if that's a French expression. So do you mean he's
Speaker 4: very reserved? Is that what you is that what you mean?
Speaker 2: Yes? Yes, that's what I meant.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Yes, people are surprised like he's not. He's not
Speaker 4: performing all the time like you see him on set.
Speaker 4: He is very reserved, discreet and gentle, very gentle as
Speaker 4: a as a person.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, kind.
Speaker 4: He's the opposite of me in every way. He's the
Speaker 4: opposite of me.
Speaker 2: But you both have a big heart that comes you
Speaker 2: can it comes through.
Speaker 4: Oh well, that's wow, that's very nice. But I I
Speaker 4: don't know about that. He certainly does, and I I'm
Speaker 4: glad that you had a positive experience working with him.
Speaker 4: How do you think that these experiences early on working
Speaker 4: on quite big movies sort of helped to shape you
Speaker 4: and your career as you had positive experiences in classes,
Speaker 4: you worked hard to become an actor and you have
Speaker 4: the experience of working with these people. I just talk
Speaker 4: a little bit about that how that changes you or
Speaker 4: how it makes you grow as an actor to then
Speaker 4: move on and begin, you know, leading up projects of
Speaker 4: your own.
Speaker 1: I mean those experiences that you're grateful for, not only
Speaker 1: because of who the caliber of the actor, but really
Speaker 1: about their generosity and kindness when they don't really need
Speaker 1: to do that. I think those experiences stay with you
Speaker 1: and for me, I know that that's how I want
Speaker 1: to be with people when I work with them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really such a privilege to be working on a
Speaker 1: set to tell stories that are beautifully written, stories that
Speaker 1: have meaning, and to me, there's nothing more of a
Speaker 1: turn on than when you really connect with that person
Speaker 1: on set. And it's weird because you're doing it playing
Speaker 1: somebody else, but yet you just I think we are
Speaker 1: more open for me, more open than in real life.
Speaker 1: I know, to share that moment with others, to be
Speaker 1: available with others, it's the biggest gift. So it's not
Speaker 1: just to be generous with others, it's actually you're making
Speaker 1: You're living something kind of selfishly good for you too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've told this a couple of times. One of
Speaker 4: my guests on the podcast talked about the unique experience
Speaker 4: of working on a set in that way and said
Speaker 4: that it's the only time in life really where you
Speaker 4: have a huge number of people all working for the
Speaker 4: same end purpose at once. It is like sports in
Speaker 4: a way where from the time you call action to cut,
Speaker 4: everyone is doing their job to try to accomplish this
Speaker 4: one thing. Everybody's on the same page and is working
Speaker 4: together to try to make the best thing that you can.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 8: That is exactly yes, and it's bigger than all of
Speaker 8: us everybody, and it has meaning and you trust because
Speaker 8: of that, you're actually you feel this trust, even the crew.
Speaker 1: When you're in the middle of a scene, you feel
Speaker 1: that you know behind the camera and you're like, you've
Speaker 1: got my back and you know it.
Speaker 2: It's really beautiful.
Speaker 4: Yes, once the director calls cut, then the backbiting starts
Speaker 4: and all that. But somebody, so it's just those.
Speaker 2: Fews between action.
Speaker 4: It's just those few moments. Other than that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, an actor, an actor I were, oh, I can
Speaker 1: say his name, James Rode Rodriguez, who I really I'm
Speaker 1: a big fan of.
Speaker 2: On my last show before action, he would look at me.
Speaker 1: And he would go, make it interesting, Come on, do something.
Speaker 2: Is that all you got? Make it interesting?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 4: You know what? I do this? Maybe we're very similar
Speaker 4: because I do the same I do this. I started.
Speaker 4: I can't even believe I'm saying this out loud. I've
Speaker 4: never I've never actually acknowledged this bit that I do.
Speaker 4: But I look at someone and say, just right before,
Speaker 4: just be like, don't fuck it up, please, just don't
Speaker 4: don't fuck it up. All right, everybody's here waiting on you.
Speaker 2: Just don't anyway to get it together.
Speaker 4: Get it together please. In more recent years, you've been
Speaker 4: doing more work in television. You prefer one or the other.
Speaker 4: Is that just where rolls up come in television? Do
Speaker 4: you prefer one over the other?
Speaker 1: No, I don't think I prefer but I do love movies.
Speaker 1: I still love to watch as an audience. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I kind of love having one script and knowing there's
Speaker 1: a beginning of middle and an end. And I have
Speaker 1: a family. This is for this amount of time.
Speaker 4: This amount of time you dive in. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 4: meant to ask you this before, actually, and I'm going
Speaker 4: to ask it now because I'm just personally interested. So
Speaker 4: you don't speak English, you're a fan of movies. Are
Speaker 4: you watching? Are you watching exclusively French movies? Or are
Speaker 4: you watching American movies that are subtitled or dull? Like
Speaker 4: I just I don't know. I'm just curious about that.
Speaker 4: How did you did you watch American movies? I guess
Speaker 4: it's one yes.
Speaker 1: But the French television is horrible. Everything is dubbed right,
Speaker 1: which drove my dad crazy because we watched a lot
Speaker 1: of American movies and he was like, Gene Hackman, this is.
Speaker 4: Not Gene Hacker right right right right?
Speaker 1: Or John Wayne Like, we watched a lot of and
Speaker 1: it's so weird because just in Luxembourg, Belgium, they or
Speaker 1: Holland they have.
Speaker 2: Subtitles. They keep things in original yeah.
Speaker 4: Even in the movie theater, Like could you watch American
Speaker 4: movies in a movie theater or is it all dubbed in.
Speaker 1: The movie theaters? They had two screenings. One was in
Speaker 1: vistial original original version and one was dubbed.
Speaker 4: Interesting, Yeah, I asked, because I wondered, you know, even
Speaker 4: though you didn't have any thought of being an actor
Speaker 4: at that time or whatever, but if there was, if
Speaker 4: there would be some sort of unique experience. I don't know,
Speaker 4: and maybe I'm reading into this, but I feel like
Speaker 4: now and there's been some obviously beautiful, beautiful what we
Speaker 4: would call in America foreign films that you're reading the subtitles,
Speaker 4: but I feel like you're also getting I feel like
Speaker 4: I get something different from the performances and watching the
Speaker 4: actors when I'm not fully clear on well, when I
Speaker 4: don't understand the language at all, you have you wait
Speaker 4: a second.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to make sure you feel like you
Speaker 1: get more when it's in the original version with subtitles.
Speaker 4: Well, certainly that, but I mean even a language that
Speaker 4: I don't speak yeah, and I'm going to mention this
Speaker 4: because I can't. I just saw Drops of God, which
Speaker 4: is Japanese and French and English, and there's something, there's
Speaker 4: something different performance wise in all the characters in their
Speaker 4: native tongues together that bring this beautiful sort of tapestry.
Speaker 4: And it's hard to I can't. I can't quite articulate
Speaker 4: it clearly right now, but there was something very powerful
Speaker 4: for me seeing these actors who are speaking Japanese and
Speaker 4: acting obviously in Japanese, they're actors and they're speaking Japanese
Speaker 4: and me not knowing having to read the words, but
Speaker 4: also just watching them perform, there is a different it's
Speaker 4: just different.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just I want to watch that movie.
Speaker 1: But I just watched a German show and for some
Speaker 1: reason it came on dubbed and we were like, wait,
Speaker 1: wait a second, and then so we went back and
Speaker 1: put it in German and it was night and day. Yes,
Speaker 1: but also it's a thing. It's like this even and
Speaker 1: more when I don't speak German. So it's almost like
Speaker 1: that becomes when you don't speak the language. It's not
Speaker 1: a character, but it's an added color. It's yes, it
Speaker 1: adds it's weird. It's hard to articulate, but I know,
Speaker 1: I think I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 4: Yes, there's it's almost like there's a you begin to
Speaker 4: see And now we're referring back sort of to Jacques
Speaker 4: lacoc But there is a different mask that exists not
Speaker 4: just in character types or archetypes, but also in language,
Speaker 4: in culture, Like there is a different mask that people
Speaker 4: wear when they communicate, and how they communicate is very
Speaker 4: different in different cultures. It's more culture than language. But
Speaker 4: when you're seeing actors speak in their native tongue, it's
Speaker 4: just interesting to me.
Speaker 1: It opens up maybe something different in us. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like if we hear an instrument that we've never
Speaker 1: heard before. Yes, that's going to hit us in a
Speaker 1: different way.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, absolutely, And as you said, also, I mean
Speaker 4: even if you don't understand the colloquialisms or whatever, like
Speaker 4: you're experiencing some of those things or humor or lack
Speaker 4: thereof just by watching people, even if you're not fully
Speaker 4: don't understand the cultural reference or whatever. Will say come
Speaker 4: on vush espanel. Yeah, so you mentioned you like working
Speaker 4: in movies, but you did just act for a long
Speaker 4: time on a television I think I prefer television because
Speaker 4: I love the building of community that if you're lucky enough,
Speaker 4: that can happen over several years. What was it like
Speaker 4: for you to just have the opportunity to work on
Speaker 4: something for such an extended period of time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true. That was amazing.
Speaker 1: It was an ensemble show too, which was my first
Speaker 1: time ever doing that, and I have, I think, I
Speaker 1: hope knock on Wood lifelong friendships. And also I worked
Speaker 1: with kids. Seeing these kids grow up and transform as actors,
Speaker 1: I got better as an actor because of the people
Speaker 1: I was working with. It's true in a movie, you
Speaker 1: sort of do it and then it's over, and it's
Speaker 1: almost understood that you get so close so quickly. You
Speaker 1: share a lot, and there's always this space and you
Speaker 1: know that, Oh I shared this moment. If I called
Speaker 1: this person, we'd probably be really happy to see one another.
Speaker 1: But we haven't spoken to one another in ten years.
Speaker 4: Yeah right, oh exactly.
Speaker 2: Whereas for this, and I was not on this show
Speaker 2: was on for five years. I was not on it.
Speaker 2: I was limited during COVID.
Speaker 1: But I saw one person just today she was like,
Speaker 1: I'm driving by, should I come I'm like.
Speaker 4: Yes, oh, that's awesome. In addition to being busy in television,
Speaker 4: you got a book, book Alert your book selfish just out,
Speaker 4: I mean, hot off of the presses. Tell me about
Speaker 4: the book and where where does this come from.
Speaker 1: It's not as glamorous as a book. It's a self
Speaker 1: help work book. I'm going to try to not sell this.
Speaker 4: Well. I think it's I think it's a fascinating mental
Speaker 4: health fitness is what I understand, that's right, which I
Speaker 4: think is a kind of a genius way of approaching this. Yeah,
Speaker 4: tell me why.
Speaker 1: Look, I'm extremely proud of this book, and the way
Speaker 1: it came about is because you heard me say before
Speaker 1: a lot I was nervous, I was this and it's
Speaker 1: as my career got, you know, gain momentum, my mental
Speaker 1: game coming from the sports world and golf really went downhill,
Speaker 1: and self doubt just took over and it impacted not
Speaker 1: only my performance, but also the way I related to
Speaker 1: people and how I felt, and so it led me
Speaker 1: on this path of growing and learning skills and practices.
Speaker 1: But the challenges was for me, how do I remember
Speaker 1: these how do I remember these practices? And how do
Speaker 1: I put them into action my daily life. So I
Speaker 1: created a little album on my phone.
Speaker 6: I call it a playbook playbook, just like athletes have playbooks,
Speaker 6: and in it, you know, I'll put everything that's going
Speaker 6: to help me for this day, whether it's on set.
Speaker 1: I have a playbook for golf with my you know,
Speaker 1: my swing thoughts, some of my great golf achievements to
Speaker 1: remind me I can kick ass on the golf course.
Speaker 1: So for the past five years this was mostly for
Speaker 1: professional but for the past five years, before I would
Speaker 1: go set, I would look at my playbook and it
Speaker 1: would refresh all these things. And then when I'd go
Speaker 1: on set, if doubts started creeping in or all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm worried about what James ro De Rodriguez
Speaker 1: is saying to me, my little reminder from my playbook
Speaker 1: pops into my consciousness and it's like, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: care what other people think.
Speaker 2: I'm making it hokey.
Speaker 1: But it really made all the good thoughts helpful thoughts.
Speaker 2: It kept them top of mind and.
Speaker 1: Helped me react respond differently during the day and during
Speaker 1: COVID when we were all on lockdown. Give an Hour,
Speaker 1: which is a mental health nonprofit called me. They had
Speaker 1: a new CEO and a new team and they wanted
Speaker 1: to get to know me and asked what I did
Speaker 1: for my well being. I said all the things I do,
Speaker 1: and I said one thing that's unique is this playbook
Speaker 1: concept that I have. And they were like, what's in
Speaker 1: your playbook? And I was like, well, it's personal. You know,
Speaker 1: everybody would have different things in their playbook, but they
Speaker 1: love this cond and we did a series of webinars
Speaker 1: to bring it to their community, to encourage people during
Speaker 1: COVID to create their own playbook. The question kept coming up,
Speaker 1: what goes in your playbook? And somebody suggested we create
Speaker 1: a workbook that would help people create their own playbooks.
Speaker 2: This is a little tongue.
Speaker 1: Twister, and that's where this workbook came from. And I
Speaker 1: created it with the mental health nonprofit. We've had the
Speaker 1: help of mental health professionals. It got amazing accolades from
Speaker 1: behavioral scientists and psychologists, and I'm really proud of it.
Speaker 1: It's a work of collaboration. There are stories in there
Speaker 1: from veterans and athletes and people in recovery, and then
Speaker 1: there's exercises for you to discover the things that help
Speaker 1: you do life a little better.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you talk about give an hour. I know fifty
Speaker 4: percent of the proceeds are going to give an hour.
Speaker 4: That relationship. The work that they do, obviously is very
Speaker 4: important to you.
Speaker 1: Yes, Their mission is to build more resilient communities through
Speaker 1: whether they're physical communities, so people who've been impacted by violence,
Speaker 1: but also communities like the military. They offer one on
Speaker 1: one counseling at no cost and peer support, training and
Speaker 1: training and education.
Speaker 2: They're amazing And.
Speaker 1: The people in the book, one person, Alan Levi Simmons,
Speaker 1: is a veteran and he got help from Given Hour.
Speaker 2: His story is amazing.
Speaker 4: You talk about experiencing something that I think, if people
Speaker 4: are honest, a lot of people either feel or experience
Speaker 4: or suffer from impostor syndrome both.
Speaker 2: A bit of a buzzword right now, right.
Speaker 4: In acting and in life. Well, but I think it's true.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't even know officially what the definition
Speaker 4: of that is, but I know that everybody is performing
Speaker 4: at all time. It's sort of what I was talking
Speaker 4: about before in terms of everybody from action to cut
Speaker 4: is all working together. The rest of the time, I
Speaker 4: feel like there are thoughts that are going on in
Speaker 4: your head about not being not belonging, or not being
Speaker 4: a part, or faking it or all of those things
Speaker 4: you said you suffered from.
Speaker 1: It.
Speaker 4: Is the book something that you feel like would have
Speaker 4: helped you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So all the exercises in there are exercises that
Speaker 1: have helped me. Yeah, and they're all put together. That's
Speaker 1: so cool to hear you say that.
Speaker 2: Well, our minds can be tricky fuckers.
Speaker 4: Yes. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I just got a card today from one psychologist who
Speaker 1: helped on the book, and I sent him the book
Speaker 1: to say thank you, and I got a thank you
Speaker 1: card and in the back it said, PS, I too
Speaker 1: suffer from imposter syndrome.
Speaker 2: I would like to talk about this.
Speaker 1: And I think the definition of it is that you
Speaker 1: feel like, once you're in this situation and you feel
Speaker 1: like you actually don't belong here, You're not you have
Speaker 1: not earned the right to be there for your work,
Speaker 1: You're not qualified, and you're going to be found out.
Speaker 2: They're going to realize that they made a mistake asking
Speaker 2: you to be there, right.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, absolutely. Is there one tip or one exercise from
Speaker 4: the book, from your playbook that you that you can.
Speaker 2: Share with me related to impostor syndrome.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Well it's the first exercise, which is called
Speaker 1: what are your greatest achievements?
Speaker 2: And that's it.
Speaker 1: We give you one question and you're on your own.
Speaker 1: Now we really spoon feed like the questions little by little,
Speaker 1: and so your greatest achievements can be things you're proud
Speaker 1: of in your life, but they can also be actually
Speaker 1: things you look back and you're like, that was a
Speaker 1: huge challenge for me. I didn't think I was going
Speaker 1: to make it through, and somehow I did. For example,
Speaker 1: for me freshman year in college, like I was saying
Speaker 1: before this exercise, I wouldn't have looked at it as
Speaker 1: the greatest achievement. It would be that was kind of
Speaker 1: a failure. I went home, I cried every day. But
Speaker 1: doing that exercise, I realized, wait a second, Actually I
Speaker 1: did stay till the full year. I learned a lot.
Speaker 1: I persisted, I worked hard, and then I came back.
Speaker 1: I also listened to myself. So you make a list
Speaker 1: of all your greatest achievements, and then it asks you
Speaker 1: look at each one of them and ask yourself what
Speaker 1: actually helped me get to there through it or the
Speaker 1: win or whatever. So you can identify some of your strengths.
Speaker 1: You can identify the people who helped you along the way.
Speaker 1: You can see that you were generous. Actually, one of
Speaker 1: your greatest achievements is helping others. So it's like you're
Speaker 1: building your own little highlight reel. You know this is
Speaker 1: your chance, and you're not showing this to anyone. It's
Speaker 1: not about bragging. I think a lot of times, especially
Speaker 1: when we're going through tough times, we are not. We
Speaker 1: forget what we're capable of. Let's say you have your
Speaker 1: greatest or I'll.
Speaker 2: Talk about me. I have my greatest achievements.
Speaker 1: Then I'm in a moment which I experience all the time,
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. You know, oh my god, I'm going to
Speaker 1: talk with Brian about my book, and Brian's in theater
Speaker 1: and I don't know theater, and what am I going
Speaker 1: to talk about. I can look at my greatest achievements
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, it's okay. I've done a lot
Speaker 1: of work. This is what helps me. I don't need
Speaker 1: to have it figured out. I don't need to pretend
Speaker 1: that I have it all figured out. I'm just going
Speaker 1: to be myself. I actually know how to do that. Yeah, so,
Speaker 1: and then they each exercise lengths into one another because
Speaker 1: there's one about self talk. So it's about creating you know.
Speaker 1: This isn't the SNL.
Speaker 10: Where you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like,
Speaker 10: I am great, right right, It's about creating your own
Speaker 10: self talk that's based in your own life, that you
Speaker 10: actually believe in.
Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I actually worked really hard on
Speaker 1: my acting career. I took classes for that many years.
Speaker 1: And maybe I still feel like I don't have it
Speaker 1: all figure out.
Speaker 4: Good.
Speaker 1: I'm freaking humble, right, I have a lot to learn, right.
Speaker 4: No, I love that getting to know and being comfortable
Speaker 4: with what you've done and who you are yourself. I
Speaker 4: love that. I'll be honest with you. I would probably
Speaker 4: brag once I figured it out, I would probably brag.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't keep it to myself. But you know, I
Speaker 4: don't know.
Speaker 1: I think if you read the book you might not
Speaker 1: you might not gosh, because the second we do talk
Speaker 1: about things, really share things. We're in back to Jacques Lucoq.
Speaker 1: We put on a.
Speaker 2: Mask and this is really about this is just for you.
Speaker 2: We live.
Speaker 1: Every thing is so public, you know, we have big
Speaker 1: opinions and we share everything.
Speaker 2: This is just a space for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what's interesting. And again I'm really
Speaker 4: not just trying to tie it all together. I think,
Speaker 4: if nothing else, what everything you said just means to
Speaker 4: me in this moment is it's really about taking off
Speaker 4: the mask, at least with yourself, because I think that
Speaker 4: that's the problem is oftentimes, I mean, we all have
Speaker 4: a mask when we interact with everybody. I mean, your
Speaker 4: mask is different depending on who you're interact you know,
Speaker 4: whether it's your buddies or your girlfriends, or your spouse's
Speaker 4: or your mom and dad or whatever. But then this
Speaker 4: feels to me like taking the mask off at least
Speaker 4: by when we're by ourselves and being true and real,
Speaker 4: which is so important.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and by which can be scary.
Speaker 4: Too the hell yeah, are you kidding me? Looking at
Speaker 4: my actual self? Jesus.
Speaker 1: But then when you do, you get to this place
Speaker 1: compassion and understanding with yourself, and and then you realize,
Speaker 1: wait a second, what's really important to me is this,
Speaker 1: Unless you go deep down, we can get sidetracked and
Speaker 1: worried about the mask and what other people are going
Speaker 1: to think and all that, and when we are comfortable
Speaker 1: with ourselves, then we can connect better with others around us.
Speaker 11: Absolutely, you know, in a way, Sorry, I didn't mean
Speaker 11: to get so excited, but enacting when we prepare, what
Speaker 11: we hope for when we from action to cut is
Speaker 11: to be truthful, to listen, to.
Speaker 1: Connect really at present. Yes, So in a way, all
Speaker 1: these exercise is I looked at them and I was like,
Speaker 1: these would be great exercise to do character development, except
Speaker 1: it's your own.
Speaker 4: Character, right, But it's yeah, but the opposite, right that
Speaker 4: trying to find the absence of creating that character that
Speaker 4: is you in your in your mind, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean, like attempting to strip it down and be truth.
Speaker 2: Truthful, bringing yourself to the part.
Speaker 4: Yeah even if you yeah, even as you say, when
Speaker 4: I made the stupid joke, but that you don't share
Speaker 4: it with anybody, that at least in that moment, that
Speaker 4: is truth.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's so liberating.
Speaker 4: I love that. I love that. Well done. I'm getting
Speaker 4: the book this afternoon, by the way, because it is
Speaker 4: available now. Selfish step into a journey of self discovery
Speaker 4: to revive confidence, joy, and meaning. Stephanie, congratulations on the book,
Speaker 4: on your career, on and finally finding what you were
Speaker 4: meant to be and what brings you joy. You were
Speaker 4: so delightful to talk to and such a radiant, joyful spirit.
Speaker 4: So thank you for being at least as open as
Speaker 4: possible good with me.
Speaker 2: You're the best interviewer. Thank you so much. And let's
Speaker 2: play golf.
Speaker 4: Oh for sure, we're playing golf.
Speaker 2: I know you interviewed one of the persons who I
Speaker 2: played in the Ryder Cup, AJ Hawk.
Speaker 4: So you played with agent.
Speaker 2: I didn't play with him, but we were there the same.
Speaker 4: You were against each other.
Speaker 2: No, I played against Kelly's.
Speaker 4: Aj is an idiot. He hits the ball a long way.
Speaker 4: Here's the problem. He didn't know where it's going. He
Speaker 4: didn't he has no idea where. Oh, he has no idea.
Speaker 4: He hits it far. Hit ce ball, hit ball far,
Speaker 4: long way off the planet. He almost killed me a
Speaker 4: couple of times hitting into me. I wasn't even play
Speaker 4: in his group. That's how just hits it. All right,
Speaker 4: we're gonna do it. We're gonna bet big money, and
Speaker 4: you're gonna give me lots of strokes because you're a five.
Speaker 2: I'll bet you some French franks.
Speaker 4: French Franks. I don't think you can, can you. I don't.
Speaker 4: You can't spend those. You can't get that over on me.
Speaker 4: You can't spend those anymore. I know that, Stephanie.
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you so much, Thanks Brian, Stephanie Mercy boku.
Speaker 4: As they say in France, that means thank you very much.
Speaker 4: I love getting to know you today, learning about your
Speaker 4: incredibly fascinating journey. And yes, next time you're in so
Speaker 4: Caw or I'm on the East Coast, we're gonna get together.
Speaker 4: We're gonna hit the golf course. Just bring your money. Listeners,
Speaker 4: you should definitely go pick up her book Selfish right now.
Speaker 4: It is literally for your own good, and then come
Speaker 4: back next time for another episode of Off the Beat.
Speaker 4: Until then, everybody, have an excellent week. Off the Beat
Speaker 4: is hosted and executive produced by me Brian Baumgartner, alongside
Speaker 4: our executive producer Ling Lee. Our senior producer is Diego Tapia.
Speaker 4: Our producers are Liz Hayes, Hannah Harris, and Emily Carr.
Speaker 4: Our talent producer is Ryan Papa Zachary, and our intern
Speaker 4: is Ali Amir Saheen. Our theme song Bubble and Squeak,
Speaker 4: performed by the one and only creed brag