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Speaker 1: Just we rented somebody's basement apartment in a house in Bronxville.

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Speaker 1: We had not much money at all, but I remember

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Speaker 1: asking my husband and his cousin, who's like older and

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Speaker 1: is kind of our mentor.

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Speaker 2: I was like, what do you think I should do?

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Speaker 2: Is this crazy?

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Speaker 1: And he said, why don't you go for it? I'll

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Speaker 1: give you a temp job in our office. You're good

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Speaker 1: at Excel. I'm good at Excel spreadsheets, and so see

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Speaker 1: it's not as glamorous now. So I left Chanelle and

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Speaker 1: did part time modeling and part time Excel spreadsheeting.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm Stephanie Shostack and I have more holes in ones

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Speaker 2: than Brian three.

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Speaker 4: That is right, you have three holes in one hold

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Speaker 4: in ones? Is it holes in one or a whole

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Speaker 4: hole in ones? I don't know.

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Speaker 2: You're the American one.

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Speaker 4: Hi, everybody, and welcome. This is Off the Beat, a

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Speaker 4: little podcast you might know with me, your host Brian Baumgartner.

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Speaker 4: My guest today, Oh is Stephanie Showstack. She is amazing.

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Speaker 4: She's a brilliant actor and she has a story that

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Speaker 4: I think is just remarkable. I mean, look, I have

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Speaker 4: a lot of great guests on this podcast with amazing stories.

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Speaker 4: But a lot of time those stories start out with

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Speaker 4: something like, well, I started doing this thing that I

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Speaker 4: love doing when I was a kid, acting, playing football, whatever,

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Speaker 4: and I pursued it. Then I got to this place

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Speaker 4: I am today. There are great stories. They take a

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Speaker 4: lot of work, don't get me wrong. But Stephanie, well,

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Speaker 4: Stephanie did things a little bit differently. For one, she

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Speaker 4: grew up in France, she moved across the ocean to

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Speaker 4: the US for college. Then she went to New York

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Speaker 4: and started a busy marketing career at Chanel. And then,

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Speaker 4: long past her childhood or her college years, when she

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Speaker 4: was twenty nine, in fact, she thought, hmm, maybe I'll

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Speaker 4: take my first acting class and see what that's all about. Well,

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Speaker 4: next thing you know, she's landing some of her first

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Speaker 4: roles in major films alongside oh Meryl Streep, Steve Carell.

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Speaker 4: Then she's eventually starring in shows like A Million Little Things.

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Speaker 4: Now I'm gonna let Stephanie tell you how it all

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Speaker 4: went down and what happened next, But just know this,

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Speaker 4: she is delightful. She is a joy. I could not

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Speaker 4: have enjoyed talking to her anymore. And I know that

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Speaker 4: you're gonna love hearing from her and all about her

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Speaker 4: new role if you will, as author in the mental

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Speaker 4: health and wellness space. So here she is the very charismatic,

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Speaker 4: the unique, admirable Stephanie show Stack.

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Speaker 1: Bubble and squeak I love it bubble and squeigan bubble

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Speaker 1: and squeiaga cook get every more left over from the

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Speaker 1: night people.

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Speaker 4: Well, hello, hi, how are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be with you. Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 4: Thank you so much for being with me. It's lovely

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Speaker 4: to have you. By the way, Uh, bonjour, monsieur.

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Speaker 2: Do you have anything to follow us out?

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Speaker 4: Jaulan, Come onpol.

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Speaker 1: That is the hardest thing to do in a foreign language,

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Speaker 1: because I've been here for thirty years, and expressions idioms

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Speaker 1: I still stumbled upon them. So you just had a

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Speaker 1: really amazing French idiom here.

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Speaker 4: There you go. Have you heard that one before?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 4: You have?

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Speaker 5: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Did your Paul fol Sakum and vash espinor yet?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I so here was the thing I worked

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Speaker 4: for a long time. By the way, everyone, she's French.

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Speaker 4: In case you didn't know.

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Speaker 2: That, only half. Don't hold it against me.

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Speaker 4: Sorry half? Well, So I worked with a with a

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Speaker 4: full French director in the theater for a long time,

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Speaker 4: and I had trouble in Paris. You know, I love

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Speaker 4: the French people. I love it's beautiful. They're not always

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Speaker 4: nice if you don't speak the language. And in fact,

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Speaker 4: i'll tell this brief story. No one can see me

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Speaker 4: doing this. But it was pouring down rain one time,

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Speaker 4: and I'm even an I'm even an actor. I'm not

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Speaker 4: saying i'm a I'm a great one, but I'm even

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Speaker 4: an actor. And I go into a like a hardware

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Speaker 4: type store. I don't know what they called him in France,

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Speaker 4: because guess what it was. It was raining outside and

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Speaker 4: I could not remember the word paraplui, which that I

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Speaker 4: will never forget now that means umbrella. So I'm in

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Speaker 4: there and I'm like uh, and I start pantomizing mean

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Speaker 4: the rain coming down and opening an umbrella, and the

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Speaker 4: guy goes ah ah, brings brings me back a light bulb.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Well he was just being French.

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Speaker 4: He was just being a smart ass, exactly. And so

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Speaker 4: this this French director said you just have to try,

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Speaker 4: and he taught me to say japol fon say kamen

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Speaker 4: vashi Espanol, which means I speak French like a Spanish cow,

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Speaker 4: and yes, without question, there would be like a like

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Speaker 4: a and then they would laugh and then they would

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Speaker 4: start speaking to me in English exactly.

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Speaker 1: So I have a theory about that. Okay, I'll make

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Speaker 1: it quick. My theory time. My theory is French people.

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Speaker 1: The schooling in French. You have to understand, we're put

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Speaker 1: down from grade one, like you are put down by

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Speaker 1: the teachers, as opposed to America, when you're like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you're encouraged. Oh right, In France, it's like you're an idiot,

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Speaker 1: You're ridiculed in school all that. So we that's kind

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Speaker 1: of how we are in life. We're afraid to make

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Speaker 1: fools out of ourselves. And so the second you make

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Speaker 1: a fool out of yourself and speak French with communis Spaniel,

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Speaker 1: we feel I'm speaking for the whole country. We feel

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Speaker 1: put at ease and we're like, oh okay, now it's

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Speaker 1: it's okay.

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Speaker 2: I can make you a fool out of myself and

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Speaker 2: talk to you in English. That's my theory.

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Speaker 4: Oh interesting, So it's not rooting inhospitable, it's them not

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Speaker 4: wanting to sound foolish, speaking bad English.

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Speaker 2: It's lack of confidence.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that is the most protective I've ever heard of

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Speaker 4: the French people. That is that is that is a theory.

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Speaker 4: That is a theory that truly only someone from France

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Speaker 4: would give. But I I like it a lot.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't it make sense though?

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Speaker 4: When yeah, it does make sense. But spoiler alert, Italy

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Speaker 4: is right next to France. I don't know if you

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Speaker 4: were aware of this growing up, But the Italians, that's not.

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Speaker 4: They don't do that. So are they given more based

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Speaker 4: on your theory? Are they given more confidences? Because they will,

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Speaker 4: I feel like, go out of their way to attempt

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Speaker 4: to I don't know, get you what you need, or

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Speaker 4: like speak to communicate with you. That's my experience.

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Speaker 1: You could kill You could not kill an Italian's confidence

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Speaker 1: even if you tried.

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Speaker 4: There you go, You're you're double down on it.

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Speaker 2: And I have family. My aunt married in Italian, my

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Speaker 2: cousins are Italian.

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Speaker 4: Right, and they're confident and the French are not. Is

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Speaker 4: what you're saying.

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Speaker 2: I mean, look at our history. How could we be

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Speaker 2: confident that that was a joke?

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Speaker 4: It's well, yeah, exactly, I know, I hear, I see

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Speaker 4: I paused because I wasn't. I wasn't going to go there.

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Speaker 4: I was, I was, I wasn't going to go there

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Speaker 4: despite our No, Actually we don't have any different opinions.

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Speaker 4: I just I was taught why the French behave as

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Speaker 4: they do by you. And that's very very interesting. I

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Speaker 4: will remember that. I will remember that, just as I

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Speaker 4: remember that phrase from now on.

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Speaker 3: You.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've never worked I'm very curious to hear

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Speaker 1: how your experience was working in Paris in the theater,

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Speaker 1: because I've never worked on a French set or anything.

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Speaker 4: Well, I will be honest, I will more, I will clarify.

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Speaker 4: So I was, I was working in the United States

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Speaker 4: in the theater, but it was a it was a

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Speaker 4: Franco American I don't know, not Franco England, Franco American

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Speaker 4: theater company, Theatre de la Jeunelum, and so half of

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Speaker 4: the founding members were French and half were from the

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Speaker 4: United States. They all trained in France at the Jacques l'coq. Yes, oh,

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Speaker 4: there was some awareness. There we go. I love the book,

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Speaker 4: but there you go. Well, this was a very very

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Speaker 4: famous company and they performed for a while in France

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Speaker 4: and in America. They eventually just performed in America. But

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Speaker 4: I traveled overseas with with some of them to France

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Speaker 4: just to visit and see their homeland or whatever. So

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Speaker 4: but they would, to your point, they would in rehearsals,

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Speaker 4: et cetera, they would start speaking very quickly. And I

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Speaker 4: took I took French in school, so I did know French,

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Speaker 4: but I think I was always bad at it. I

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Speaker 4: don't know, I was bad at foreign language. So I

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Speaker 4: could understand pretty well, but I could not speak it.

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Speaker 2: So and you were Jacques Lecoque.

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Speaker 4: No I was. I was. So they're like proteges. I

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Speaker 4: guess they're some of their big students who worked with

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Speaker 4: him and that you know, went to the school and

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Speaker 4: then worked with him. They founded a theater company that

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Speaker 4: was in the United States and in France. So I'm

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Speaker 4: if it was Kevin Baker, I would be like two degrees,

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Speaker 4: not one. I didn't. I didn't. I wasn't with Jacques.

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Speaker 4: But but yes, it was. It was very interesting work

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Speaker 4: and they were very interesting people. And I truly love

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Speaker 4: the French, except you know, the language is a problem

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Speaker 4: for me. So there you go. But that's where you're

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Speaker 4: from just in Paris, rights in the suburbs, okay, just outside. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 4: tell me a little bit about about your childhood there.

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Speaker 4: Now I understand your dad. So you're half French. What's

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Speaker 4: your other half?

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Speaker 2: Half American?

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Speaker 4: Half American? And similarly, you're half Jewish as well. Your

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Speaker 4: dad was Jewish and your mom converted that.

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Speaker 2: Wow, yes, you've done your home. Yeah, my dad's a

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Speaker 2: Jew from Iowa.

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Speaker 4: Oh, your dad was a Jew from I don't think

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Speaker 4: there already Jews in Iowa. And I say that just

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Speaker 4: based on I don't know my impression, I guess. Okay,

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Speaker 4: So he was a Jew from Iowa. Yeah, and went

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Speaker 4: to France.

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Speaker 1: And went to France and stayed and met my mom

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Speaker 1: and stayed in France. And so I grew up half

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Speaker 1: in half and had an older brother. We grew up

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Speaker 1: in the suburbs, sort of middle class, went to public schools,

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Speaker 1: played golf.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I know you're a golfer. I've done a little

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Speaker 2: bit of homework too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, good, Yes, we're going to talk about that. Yes,

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Speaker 4: So were you speaking? Were you speaking both English and French?

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Speaker 4: Growing up?

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Speaker 1: So my older brother spoke English without any accent. He

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Speaker 1: spoke both and I came along and I refused to

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Speaker 1: speak English. My dad would speak to me in English

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Speaker 1: and I would just kind of like experience.

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Speaker 4: Yes exactly. We were in France. We only speak French.

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Speaker 1: But the reason for me is I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: be different from all my friends and the kids, and

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Speaker 1: it felt like weird. And yeah, that's why now I'm

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Speaker 1: stuck with a French accent.

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Speaker 4: Right? Was it about like having other kids see that

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Speaker 4: you were speaking in English or or you wanted to

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Speaker 4: also I'm guessing you wanted to have a just a

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Speaker 4: could you have a French accent if you're speaking French?

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Speaker 4: I don't know, but speak you wanted to be able

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Speaker 4: to speak French like everyone else.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just didn't want I was very shy growing

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Speaker 1: up and I didn't want to be different. I had

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Speaker 1: a brother who he was my hero, but he was

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Speaker 1: a big troublemaker. He got into drugs and so I

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Speaker 1: think I was eight years younger. I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: rock the boat and I wanted to make no noise.

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Speaker 1: And part of that was just fitting in everywhere I went,

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Speaker 1: and that meant to speaking French.

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Speaker 4: Right. You say you were shy, did you have any

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Speaker 4: sort of inclination or feeling about performing or entertaining when

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Speaker 4: you were younger.

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Speaker 1: Well, every time I went to the movies, I loved movies,

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Speaker 1: and every time I left, I imagined I was this

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Speaker 1: person on the screen. But I thought probably everybody did that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't dare to entertain it the idea. And also

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Speaker 1: in the public schools, we had no arts whatsoever, so

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Speaker 1: never took an acting class until I was twenty nine

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Speaker 1: years old in New York City.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I had heard that, but now that is shocking

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Speaker 4: to me. That is against everything that I would think

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Speaker 4: that you had no arts in public school in France,

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Speaker 4: no art, no music, no theater, no nothing.

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Speaker 2: Nothing.

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Speaker 1: In junior high we had one hour of music which

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Speaker 1: was music theory and the you call it the recorder, right,

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Speaker 1: and then we had two hours of gym per week.

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Speaker 1: So it was all just academics. There was no budget

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Speaker 1: for any I know you would think France and the arts,

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Speaker 1: but no.

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Speaker 4: You would No, you think culture, right, I mean you

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Speaker 4: think European culture. Do you feel like growing up there?

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Speaker 4: I mean you said you didn't want to speak English

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Speaker 4: and you wanted to fit in with everyone. Were you well,

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Speaker 4: were you visiting other countries. Were you exposed to other languages?

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Speaker 4: You know, I mentioned Italy or Spain, Great Britain. Were

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Speaker 4: you traveling around because I feel like growing up in

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Speaker 4: Europe you do have a more diverse base of experiences

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Speaker 4: and different peoples and cultures. Was that true for you

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Speaker 4: or for sure? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Because my so at first, my dad's American, and we

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Speaker 1: came to the States every year to visit his family,

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Speaker 1: and then we traveled throughout the States. But then my

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Speaker 1: mom married an Italian man, so I went to Italy

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Speaker 1: a lot, and then through golf later I competed and

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Speaker 1: would go to you know, Luxembourg and Belgium and Switzerland,

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Speaker 1: and you just for golf tournaments you take the train.

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Speaker 4: And now all right, now, how serious a golfer are you? Are?

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Speaker 4: You do you still play?

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Speaker 1: Not much at all? But I do still play, but

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Speaker 1: probably like six rounds a year. But I was very serious,

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Speaker 1: Like I competed in I played college golf.

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Speaker 4: You played college golf.

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Speaker 2: I did, but I wasn't. I was a five.

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Speaker 1: When you say that, you imagine scratch golfer. I was

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Speaker 1: five handicap was the best that I ever got.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I do know from experience because I

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Speaker 4: actually competed now that I think of it, in France

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Speaker 4: at a golf course. Never going to remember the name

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Speaker 4: of it, but I'll look it up. I'll send it

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Speaker 4: to you. So there was a they started doing a

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Speaker 4: Ryder Cup American versus Europeans for celebrities and I played

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Speaker 4: in this and it was based in Monaco, Monte Carlo, Monaco,

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Speaker 4: but that's where we stayed. But the golf course was

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Speaker 4: up in the hills of France.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 4: Who won? We won? I think? No, we won, we won.

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Speaker 2: I have the you know that I did that too.

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Speaker 2: I did ride a cup celebrity in Whistling Straits.

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Speaker 4: Oh you did it here?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and we won?

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Speaker 5: You did?

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Speaker 4: Wait? This is crazy? Why were we not there at

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Speaker 4: the same time. Wow?

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Speaker 1: We have to do the next They didn't have one

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Speaker 1: this year in Rome, but next time is in the States.

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Speaker 2: We have to you have to get out.

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Speaker 4: That's right, Okay, we have to do that. We have

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Speaker 4: to make this happen. But so you're what are you now?

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Speaker 4: You have? Well what I was going to say before

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Speaker 4: is I know the handicapping thing. The way that they

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Speaker 4: calculated is different. I do know that. I don't remember

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Speaker 4: which is yes, more stringent. I don't. I just don't remember.

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Speaker 1: So in France do your handicap is all? You only

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Speaker 1: take into account your scores and tournaments. I mean, and

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Speaker 1: I think it's changed now now, yeah, you know how

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Speaker 1: here you just turn in your score.

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Speaker 4: Your scores.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but now I shoot, I'm a ten or eleven.

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Speaker 1: I shoot, you know, mid eighty eighty four would be

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Speaker 1: a great day for me.

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Speaker 4: We should play for money. You're a five and I'm

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Speaker 4: a seven, and then let's let's you're a five. Listen,

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Speaker 4: I paste this on lifetime ability for you. So, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you're a five, I'm a ten, and we'll play a

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Speaker 4: lot of money. No that, I love that. So what

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Speaker 4: was it about golf that you loved that you responded

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Speaker 4: to that? You? Why did you? Why did you love it?

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Speaker 4: Why did you play?

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Speaker 2: Well, that's going to say I didn't really love I

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Speaker 2: didn't really love it.

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Speaker 4: I was kind of just good at it.

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Speaker 2: No, I was because I was born into it. My

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Speaker 2: dad was a scratch golfer.

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Speaker 6: Okay, we played golf because he was Because of his level,

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Speaker 6: we were allowed to play in this country club in France,

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Speaker 6: and that's just what we did as a family.

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Speaker 1: I like to ride horses, but I wasn't really allowed

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Speaker 1: to do that. I had to play golf. But I'm

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Speaker 1: so happy now because you know, still playing like the

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Speaker 1: Ryder Cup. I played in the Bob Hope the last

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Speaker 1: year it was the Bob Hope. Yes, my husband caddies

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Speaker 1: for me and he tells me who everybody is, because

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Speaker 1: I don't know who people are, and it's the best experience.

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Speaker 4: Oh, that's awesome. What brought you to the US college college?

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Speaker 1: Because we don't have sports college sports, and we don't

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Speaker 1: have liberal arts.

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Speaker 2: You have to know what you want to do.

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Speaker 1: You have to pick your subject, and I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what that was. So I ended up at the College

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Speaker 1: of William and Mary, which in colonial Williamsburg, which was

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Speaker 1: quite a big culture.

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Speaker 2: Shock, to say the least.

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Speaker 1: There was really a tough year, and I did my

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Speaker 1: year abroad my sophomore year in Paris.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, wait a second. That should not be allowed.

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Speaker 4: That's not the point to go home. Is not the

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Speaker 4: point of your year abroad.

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Speaker 2: But Brian, I finished. I went back junior and senior year,

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Speaker 2: so I in fact did three years abroad in one

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Speaker 2: year at home.

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Speaker 4: You've you've done that explanation before I can tell did

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Speaker 4: you think you were coming here to get your liberal

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Speaker 4: arts education and to play golf? Did you think you

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Speaker 4: were just coming here for that and that you were

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Speaker 4: going to go back to France? What was your What

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Speaker 4: was your plan?

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Speaker 2: I don't think I had a plan.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know, okay, and I never really do have

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Speaker 1: a plan. I think that's not I just came because

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Speaker 1: I took a year off after high school. And then

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's not really working for.

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Speaker 2: Me playing golf.

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Speaker 1: And I tried to go to a school in France

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Speaker 1: and there was no seats.

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Speaker 2: You had to sit on the steps.

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's not great, and so I was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, let's try America and golf.

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Speaker 4: Okay, you didn't love it. This is so funny.

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Speaker 1: I loved this well, but you know, and in a

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Speaker 1: way just not to be serious at all, but it's

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Speaker 1: kind of how easily you can get sidetracked in your

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Speaker 1: life and doing the things that you're just put into

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Speaker 1: and you follow that, and you follow that, and then

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Speaker 1: it was not until later that finally I.

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Speaker 2: Was like I did the same with a job.

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Speaker 1: I got a job in corporate America and eventually I

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Speaker 1: was like, Okay, this is not my life.

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Speaker 4: So, speaking of what you did not love to do,

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Speaker 4: your focus was business and marketing in college, and you

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Speaker 4: mentioned getting a job. What did you think this is

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Speaker 4: what I should do, work for Chanel in New York

380
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Speaker 4: out of college or was there some sort of passion

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Speaker 4: there for you at all?

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Speaker 1: Well, I've tried to get a job with a sports

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Speaker 1: marketing company and I got an internship, but it didn't

384
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Speaker 1: get me the job, and I was tempting, and then

385
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Speaker 1: I got lucky and got a job. I did always

386
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Speaker 1: love fashion, and it was a French company. I thought, oh,

387
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Speaker 1: maybe I have something to bring to this or it

388
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Speaker 1: felt like a good fit and it was fun. I

389
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Speaker 1: had a great boss. I'm still friends with her. But

390
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Speaker 1: there was just a little something. I was kind of like, Yeah,

391
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Speaker 1: I remember looking at my boss and her boss and thinking,

392
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Speaker 1: I don't want to be in those shoes.

393
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Speaker 4: It's not really not what you wanted to do.

394
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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's a conundrum, like how do you know

395
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Speaker 1: what you I mean, some people have a passion and

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Speaker 1: they know.

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Speaker 2: You had theater. It sounds like I didn't really know

398
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Speaker 2: what I didn't know.

399
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was on that path early, like high school,

400
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 4: I had an experience and was like, oh, no, this

401
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 4: is this is what I'm going to do. Yes, but

402
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 4: you forget I think, or I forget now how rare

403
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 4: that is, right? I mean people go through an enormous

404
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 4: different experiences before they sort of find the thing. I

405
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Speaker 4: read that you landed through your job there at Chanel

406
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Speaker 4: You had a modeling opportunity. Is that was this your

407
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 4: first first? What was the model? What was the opportunity?

408
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 4: What happened?

409
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 1: The director of advertising said, we're doing a photo shoot

410
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,239
Speaker 1: for like an in house brochure. Do you want to

411
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Speaker 1: be in it? And I was like okay. And the

412
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 1: photographer said which modeling agency are you with? And I

413
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Speaker 1: was like, no, no, I'm not a model. I'm smart.

414
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Speaker 1: But then actually, and I was like, I'm way too old.

415
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: I was twenty six by that time, and I'm too short.

416
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 1: And he was like, no, no, I thought you were.

417
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Speaker 1: And it just planted a seed and I thought, wait

418
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Speaker 1: a second, could I be a model? Could I maybe

419
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Speaker 1: make as much money as I'm making now and figure

420
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Speaker 1: out what it is I want to do? And I

421
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 1: was married at the time. We lived just we rented

422
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: somebody's basement apartment in a house in Bronxville. We had

423
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 1: not much money at all. But I remember asking my

424
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,479
Speaker 1: husband and his cousin, who's like older and is kind

425
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Speaker 1: of our mentor.

426
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Speaker 2: I was like, what do you think I should do?

427
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 2: Is this crazy?

428
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 1: And he said, why don't you go for it? I'll

429
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: give you a temp job in our office. You're good

430
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 1: at Excel. I'm good at Excel spreadsheets and so see

431
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 1: it's not as glamorous now. So I left Chanelle and

432
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: did part time modeling and part time Excel spreadsheeting.

433
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:26,160
Speaker 4: Wow were you able to find like a modeling agent

434
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 4: pretty quickly?

435
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that lucky.

436
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 1: I was with Wilhelmina in their New Faces division, saying

437
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 1: I was nineteen years old.

438
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Speaker 4: Did you really Yeah? You said you were nineteen.

439
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, because the agent was the booking agent said you

440
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,400
Speaker 1: don't look your agent. If you say you're twenty six,

441
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: they won't book you for junior jobs, but you won't

442
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: book the whatever mature things either.

443
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 2: I can't remember sophisticated. It's clear call it. You won't

444
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: book the sophisticated jobs either.

445
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 4: So I said I was nineteen and no one ever

446
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 4: said anything. By the way, I thought that was illegal,

447
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 4: and I do mean, well, now now.

448
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 2: You can't ask somebody how old.

449
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 4: They can't ask somebody how old you are. No, but

450
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 4: back to look on Wikipedia. Yeah, but I didn't look it.

451
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 4: It may not be true, it might not be true

452
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,239
Speaker 4: exactly right, But then you did? You you announced how

453
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 4: old you were.

454
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 2: People asked all the time, how old are you? Yeah?

455
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 4: Really interesting?

456
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 2: Or I did?

457
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: I traveled and went to agencies they knew, but they

458
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: told clients that.

459
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 4: You were nineteen.

460
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 2: Yeah.

461
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 4: Uh. And then you decide to enroll in an acting class.

462
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

463
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 1: So but three years later I just kept asking them.

464
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: With the agency modeling agency, I'd left to take an

465
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: acting class, and they were like, you get too much of.

466
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 2: An accent, you're too old. And I did.

467
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:01,640
Speaker 6: Commercials twenty six that's crazy, go ahead, And then I did.

468
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 2: I did commercials.

469
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: Then I just kept having this feeling inside and I

470
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: remember calling. I went on the phone book and called

471
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: an acting teacher and she said to me, what do

472
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 1: you what do you want? I don't know what I said,

473
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: but she said, I have a teacher for you. I

474
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 1: don't know if you know Sondra Lely.

475
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 2: You heard that?

476
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 5: Yes?

477
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, yes.

478
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 1: And she said she's really, really tough, but her class

479
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: is amazing. They're working actors and there's also you know,

480
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 1: people who's just starting out, and you should go check

481
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: it out. And so I checked it out and I

482
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: was blown away. And then I did my first monologue

483
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: and I had what you just described. When it was over,

484
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I need to do this.

485
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: And it didn't mean I need to do this as

486
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 1: a profession, but it was just I love this. I

487
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: am feeling like me for the first time.

488
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 2: And how was that?

489
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 4: And you wanted to work, I mean like work on

490
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 4: the craft, like taking classes and study.

491
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, she was serious.

492
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 1: I mean after that monologue, I did a scene I remember,

493
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: a first scene work and she sent my partner back

494
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 1: to his seat and she destroyed me because she was

495
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: kind of like, who do you think you are? You

496
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 1: can just waltz in here because you want to act.

497
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, this is a serious craft and

498
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: you are not allowed to get up from your seat

499
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: until I tell you, so you're just gonna watch.

500
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:41,959
Speaker 7: And I was like, okay, Wow, did you find it

501
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 7: difficult having a French accent initially working in the business.

502
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and still to this day. And I worked with

503
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: Sam Schwa. I don't know if you've heard his name before,

504
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: but he was kind of a legend of a dialect

505
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: coach in New York City, worked with The Near and

506
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: Julia Roberts. He is amazing and not only I had

507
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: a French accent, I had a little list of Okay,

508
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: so yeah, and I still.

509
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 2: Work on my dialect.

510
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: It's I feel like it's an it's it's a lot

511
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: of times I'm like, God, I wish I didn't have it,

512
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, well, if I didn't have it,

513
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 1: maybe I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing either. Maybe

514
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gotten cast either.

515
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 2: I don't know.

516
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,719
Speaker 4: Like it differentiates.

517
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 3: You maybe, I mean, yeah, yeah, interesting an early role

518
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 3: for you, very early, you had the opportunity to work

519
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 3: with this other up and coming actress, Meryl Street, I

520
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: mean literally one of your first roles.

521
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 4: So what was that experience like for it? Were you

522
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 4: a fan of hers before?

523
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 8: Yes?

524
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 2: Yes?

525
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: So do you remember a show called Unscripted Yes with

526
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: Brian Greenberg allowed him as an actor.

527
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, yes, and then you.

528
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: See him he got his first job and it was

529
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: a movie with Meryl Streep and Uma Thurman.

530
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 4: Okay, yes, I remember that now.

531
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: Yes, And I'm in the living room watching the thing

532
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: with my husband and I remember saying to him, God,

533
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 1: could you imagine if my first studio film was with

534
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: Meryl Streep?

535
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 2: That would be amazing?

536
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: And then, like, I don't know, a couple months later,

537
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: I get this audition to play opposite her, and the

538
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: director is David Frankel, and that's my maiden name, Frankel,

539
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: and I was like, maybe this is a sign.

540
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:43,479
Speaker 9: It was, but I was really obviously so excited, and

541
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 9: I put pictures of Meryl Streep all over my bathroom

542
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 9: for three weeks leading up to it, so that I

543
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 9: would see her every day and I wouldn't be so

544
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 9: starstruck when I did finally, Is that true?

545
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: Yes?

546
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 4: You put up pictures to like make yourself familiar with

547
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 4: looking at her.

548
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: Yes, because I had to be this character who was,

549
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: you know, her nemesis, so I didn't want to feel

550
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: like beginner me playing opposite one of the most incredible

551
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: actress in the world. She was unbelievable. It was amazing

552
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: to watch her work. My role was really small, but

553
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: I got I think three days and there was one

554
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: day where there was.

555
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,719
Speaker 2: A lot of background.

556
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 1: There's huge set, and you know, turnaround took a long time,

557
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: and she was just standing there with her makeup artist

558
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: who's been with her forever and just trying to stay

559
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: in sort of concentrated, and I remember there was a

560
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: lot of people, a lot of noise around her, and

561
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: eventually she opened her eyes and she was like, Okay,

562
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: we need to find.

563
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 2: Get a room. But it was cool to watch her.

564
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: Being so patient and yet also reached that point where

565
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: I need to take care of myself. She was amazing

566
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 1: generous with you, oh beyond. We did a flashback scene

567
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: where there was no dialogue and it was supposed to

568
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: be a French cafe in the morning, and I wrote

569
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: her card explaining the story of the unscripted thing before

570
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: because I just said, I just need you to know

571
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: this and I will remember this forever.

572
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:28,959
Speaker 2: And she was very sweet.

573
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: But before we started shooting, she said, does this look

574
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: good to you, Sephanie? Does this feel like parents? And

575
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: I was like, well, it's morning. There wouldn't be tablecloths

576
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: on the bistro tables, and she goes, you're right, let's

577
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: go talk to David.

578
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 4: I love that there you go, wow, I love see,

579
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,479
Speaker 4: I love I love I love stories like that, and

580
00:32:55,520 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 4: I love generous actors who have accomplished a lot for me.

581
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 4: It's one of the best lessons that I ever ever.

582
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 4: I just told this story actually for the podcast, but

583
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 4: I'll tell you very briefly that the experience that I

584
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 4: had working with Robin Williams was very much the same

585
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 4: way we worked together a few times, and his energy

586
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 4: and his positivity and his openness to basically get a

587
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 4: note or have a comment from anybody and to make

588
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 4: everybody feel good ultimately only helps the process. You know. Unfortunately,

589
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 4: I understand you've worked with some people who weren't so nice.

590
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 4: Steve Carell.

591
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 2: When you were saying Robin Williams generous, I was going

592
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 2: to bring up Steve Carell because.

593
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, as you know, I'm sure, but I did. This

594
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: was my first lead female role in a big studio movie.

595
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: I was very nerve again, and I did a scene

596
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 1: with Steve and he so it's we always shoot his

597
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: close up first, and the lines he was giving me

598
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 1: was kind of like, I know about the sex, and

599
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: my character is like the sex. Yes, I know about

600
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: the sex, so we shoot his coverage and then we

601
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,319
Speaker 1: get on my coverage and you know, he's like, I

602
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: know about the sex, and so I'm reacting probably the

603
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 1: same way kind of, and all of a sudden he goes, yeah,

604
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: I know about the sex the dirt, and he started

605
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: getting filthy. I mean, I can't even repeat what he

606
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 1: was saying. And I remember looking at him and thinking

607
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 1: of my gosh, he's doing this just to get me

608
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 1: to react the way.

609
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 2: I mean, so generous, and he's very discreet too.

610
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 1: He's it's all about the work and for all of

611
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 1: us to come together and do something beautiful and have

612
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: fun and play and surprise ourselves.

613
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 2: I mean, it was amazing to watch him. It is

614
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,800
Speaker 2: and there's no ego. He has no ego.

615
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 4: Yes, no, he absolutely is the best. I have to ask.

616
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 4: So when you say discreet, I'm wondering if that's a

617
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,919
Speaker 4: if that's a French expression. So do you mean he's

618
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 4: very reserved? Is that what you is that what you mean?

619
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 2: Yes? Yes, that's what I meant.

620
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, Yes, people are surprised like he's not. He's not

621
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 4: performing all the time like you see him on set.

622
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 4: He is very reserved, discreet and gentle, very gentle as

623
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 4: a as a person.

624
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, kind.

625
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 4: He's the opposite of me in every way. He's the

626
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 4: opposite of me.

627
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 2: But you both have a big heart that comes you

628
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 2: can it comes through.

629
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 4: Oh well, that's wow, that's very nice. But I I

630
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 4: don't know about that. He certainly does, and I I'm

631
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 4: glad that you had a positive experience working with him.

632
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 4: How do you think that these experiences early on working

633
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 4: on quite big movies sort of helped to shape you

634
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 4: and your career as you had positive experiences in classes,

635
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 4: you worked hard to become an actor and you have

636
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 4: the experience of working with these people. I just talk

637
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: a little bit about that how that changes you or

638
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 4: how it makes you grow as an actor to then

639
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 4: move on and begin, you know, leading up projects of

640
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 4: your own.

641
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 1: I mean those experiences that you're grateful for, not only

642
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: because of who the caliber of the actor, but really

643
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: about their generosity and kindness when they don't really need

644
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 1: to do that. I think those experiences stay with you

645
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 1: and for me, I know that that's how I want

646
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: to be with people when I work with them. Yeah,

647
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: it's really such a privilege to be working on a

648
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: set to tell stories that are beautifully written, stories that

649
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: have meaning, and to me, there's nothing more of a

650
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: turn on than when you really connect with that person

651
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 1: on set. And it's weird because you're doing it playing

652
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 1: somebody else, but yet you just I think we are

653
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 1: more open for me, more open than in real life.

654
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: I know, to share that moment with others, to be

655
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: available with others, it's the biggest gift. So it's not

656
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: just to be generous with others, it's actually you're making

657
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: You're living something kind of selfishly good for you too.

658
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've told this a couple of times. One of

659
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 4: my guests on the podcast talked about the unique experience

660
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,959
Speaker 4: of working on a set in that way and said

661
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 4: that it's the only time in life really where you

662
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 4: have a huge number of people all working for the

663
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 4: same end purpose at once. It is like sports in

664
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 4: a way where from the time you call action to cut,

665
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 4: everyone is doing their job to try to accomplish this

666
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 4: one thing. Everybody's on the same page and is working

667
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 4: together to try to make the best thing that you can.

668
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 2: I love that.

669
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 8: That is exactly yes, and it's bigger than all of

670
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 8: us everybody, and it has meaning and you trust because

671
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 8: of that, you're actually you feel this trust, even the crew.

672
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: When you're in the middle of a scene, you feel

673
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: that you know behind the camera and you're like, you've

674
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: got my back and you know it.

675
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 2: It's really beautiful.

676
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 4: Yes, once the director calls cut, then the backbiting starts

677
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 4: and all that. But somebody, so it's just those.

678
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 2: Fews between action.

679
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 4: It's just those few moments. Other than that.

680
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, an actor, an actor I were, oh, I can

681
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 1: say his name, James Rode Rodriguez, who I really I'm

682
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: a big fan of.

683
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 2: On my last show before action, he would look at me.

684
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 1: And he would go, make it interesting, Come on, do something.

685
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 2: Is that all you got? Make it interesting?

686
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 8: Oh?

687
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 4: You know what? I do this? Maybe we're very similar

688
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 4: because I do the same I do this. I started.

689
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 4: I can't even believe I'm saying this out loud. I've

690
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 4: never I've never actually acknowledged this bit that I do.

691
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 4: But I look at someone and say, just right before,

692
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 4: just be like, don't fuck it up, please, just don't

693
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 4: don't fuck it up. All right, everybody's here waiting on you.

694
00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:00,240
Speaker 2: Just don't anyway to get it together.

695
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 4: Get it together please. In more recent years, you've been

696
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 4: doing more work in television. You prefer one or the other.

697
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 4: Is that just where rolls up come in television? Do

698
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,399
Speaker 4: you prefer one over the other?

699
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 1: No, I don't think I prefer but I do love movies.

700
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 1: I still love to watch as an audience. Yeah, and

701
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 1: I kind of love having one script and knowing there's

702
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: a beginning of middle and an end. And I have

703
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 1: a family. This is for this amount of time.

704
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 4: This amount of time you dive in. Yeah, yeah, I

705
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 4: meant to ask you this before, actually, and I'm going

706
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 4: to ask it now because I'm just personally interested. So

707
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 4: you don't speak English, you're a fan of movies. Are

708
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 4: you watching? Are you watching exclusively French movies? Or are

709
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 4: you watching American movies that are subtitled or dull? Like

710
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 4: I just I don't know. I'm just curious about that.

711
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 4: How did you did you watch American movies? I guess

712
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 4: it's one yes.

713
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 1: But the French television is horrible. Everything is dubbed right,

714
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 1: which drove my dad crazy because we watched a lot

715
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,760
Speaker 1: of American movies and he was like, Gene Hackman, this is.

716
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 4: Not Gene Hacker right right right right?

717
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 1: Or John Wayne Like, we watched a lot of and

718
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 1: it's so weird because just in Luxembourg, Belgium, they or

719
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 1: Holland they have.

720
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 2: Subtitles. They keep things in original yeah.

721
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 4: Even in the movie theater, Like could you watch American

722
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 4: movies in a movie theater or is it all dubbed in.

723
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 1: The movie theaters? They had two screenings. One was in

724
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 1: vistial original original version and one was dubbed.

725
00:41:55,600 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 4: Interesting, Yeah, I asked, because I wondered, you know, even

726
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 4: though you didn't have any thought of being an actor

727
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 4: at that time or whatever, but if there was, if

728
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 4: there would be some sort of unique experience. I don't know,

729
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 4: and maybe I'm reading into this, but I feel like

730
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 4: now and there's been some obviously beautiful, beautiful what we

731
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 4: would call in America foreign films that you're reading the subtitles,

732
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 4: but I feel like you're also getting I feel like

733
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 4: I get something different from the performances and watching the

734
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 4: actors when I'm not fully clear on well, when I

735
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 4: don't understand the language at all, you have you wait

736
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 4: a second.

737
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 1: I didn't want to make sure you feel like you

738
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 1: get more when it's in the original version with subtitles.

739
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 4: Well, certainly that, but I mean even a language that

740
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 4: I don't speak yeah, and I'm going to mention this

741
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 4: because I can't. I just saw Drops of God, which

742
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 4: is Japanese and French and English, and there's something, there's

743
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 4: something different performance wise in all the characters in their

744
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 4: native tongues together that bring this beautiful sort of tapestry.

745
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 4: And it's hard to I can't. I can't quite articulate

746
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 4: it clearly right now, but there was something very powerful

747
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 4: for me seeing these actors who are speaking Japanese and

748
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 4: acting obviously in Japanese, they're actors and they're speaking Japanese

749
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 4: and me not knowing having to read the words, but

750
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 4: also just watching them perform, there is a different it's

751
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 4: just different.

752
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just I want to watch that movie.

753
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: But I just watched a German show and for some

754
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 1: reason it came on dubbed and we were like, wait,

755
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: wait a second, and then so we went back and

756
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: put it in German and it was night and day. Yes,

757
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 1: but also it's a thing. It's like this even and

758
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: more when I don't speak German. So it's almost like

759
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 1: that becomes when you don't speak the language. It's not

760
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 1: a character, but it's an added color. It's yes, it

761
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: adds it's weird. It's hard to articulate, but I know,

762
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: I think I understand what you're saying.

763
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 4: Yes, there's it's almost like there's a you begin to

764
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 4: see And now we're referring back sort of to Jacques

765
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 4: lacoc But there is a different mask that exists not

766
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 4: just in character types or archetypes, but also in language,

767
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 4: in culture, Like there is a different mask that people

768
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 4: wear when they communicate, and how they communicate is very

769
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 4: different in different cultures. It's more culture than language. But

770
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 4: when you're seeing actors speak in their native tongue, it's

771
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 4: just interesting to me.

772
00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: It opens up maybe something different in us. It's kind

773
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 1: of like if we hear an instrument that we've never

774
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: heard before. Yes, that's going to hit us in a

775
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:07,359
Speaker 1: different way.

776
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, absolutely, And as you said, also, I mean

777
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 4: even if you don't understand the colloquialisms or whatever, like

778
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:23,479
Speaker 4: you're experiencing some of those things or humor or lack

779
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:27,720
Speaker 4: thereof just by watching people, even if you're not fully

780
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 4: don't understand the cultural reference or whatever. Will say come

781
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 4: on vush espanel. Yeah, so you mentioned you like working

782
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,839
Speaker 4: in movies, but you did just act for a long

783
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 4: time on a television I think I prefer television because

784
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 4: I love the building of community that if you're lucky enough,

785
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 4: that can happen over several years. What was it like

786
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 4: for you to just have the opportunity to work on

787
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,479
Speaker 4: something for such an extended period of time.

788
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true. That was amazing.

789
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: It was an ensemble show too, which was my first

790
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: time ever doing that, and I have, I think, I

791
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: hope knock on Wood lifelong friendships. And also I worked

792
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: with kids. Seeing these kids grow up and transform as actors,

793
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 1: I got better as an actor because of the people

794
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: I was working with. It's true in a movie, you

795
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 1: sort of do it and then it's over, and it's

796
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: almost understood that you get so close so quickly. You

797
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 1: share a lot, and there's always this space and you

798
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 1: know that, Oh I shared this moment. If I called

799
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 1: this person, we'd probably be really happy to see one another.

800
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: But we haven't spoken to one another in ten years.

801
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 4: Yeah right, oh exactly.

802
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,879
Speaker 2: Whereas for this, and I was not on this show

803
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 2: was on for five years. I was not on it.

804
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 2: I was limited during COVID.

805
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 1: But I saw one person just today she was like,

806
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 1: I'm driving by, should I come I'm like.

807
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 4: Yes, oh, that's awesome. In addition to being busy in television,

808
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 4: you got a book, book Alert your book selfish just out,

809
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,919
Speaker 4: I mean, hot off of the presses. Tell me about

810
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,720
Speaker 4: the book and where where does this come from.

811
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 1: It's not as glamorous as a book. It's a self

812
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 1: help work book. I'm going to try to not sell this.

813
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 4: Well. I think it's I think it's a fascinating mental

814
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 4: health fitness is what I understand, that's right, which I

815
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 4: think is a kind of a genius way of approaching this. Yeah,

816
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 4: tell me why.

817
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,919
Speaker 1: Look, I'm extremely proud of this book, and the way

818
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 1: it came about is because you heard me say before

819
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 1: a lot I was nervous, I was this and it's

820
00:47:55,600 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: as my career got, you know, gain momentum, my mental

821
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:04,360
Speaker 1: game coming from the sports world and golf really went downhill,

822
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 1: and self doubt just took over and it impacted not

823
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 1: only my performance, but also the way I related to

824
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 1: people and how I felt, and so it led me

825
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 1: on this path of growing and learning skills and practices.

826
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,720
Speaker 1: But the challenges was for me, how do I remember

827
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: these how do I remember these practices? And how do

828
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 1: I put them into action my daily life. So I

829
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 1: created a little album on my phone.

830
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 6: I call it a playbook playbook, just like athletes have playbooks,

831
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,839
Speaker 6: and in it, you know, I'll put everything that's going

832
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 6: to help me for this day, whether it's on set.

833
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 1: I have a playbook for golf with my you know,

834
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 1: my swing thoughts, some of my great golf achievements to

835
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,959
Speaker 1: remind me I can kick ass on the golf course.

836
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 1: So for the past five years this was mostly for

837
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 1: professional but for the past five years, before I would

838
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: go set, I would look at my playbook and it

839
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: would refresh all these things. And then when I'd go

840
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 1: on set, if doubts started creeping in or all of

841
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm worried about what James ro De Rodriguez

842
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 1: is saying to me, my little reminder from my playbook

843
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 1: pops into my consciousness and it's like, yeah, I don't

844
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 1: care what other people think.

845
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 2: I'm making it hokey.

846
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 1: But it really made all the good thoughts helpful thoughts.

847
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 2: It kept them top of mind and.

848
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 1: Helped me react respond differently during the day and during

849
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: COVID when we were all on lockdown. Give an Hour,

850
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: which is a mental health nonprofit called me. They had

851
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,320
Speaker 1: a new CEO and a new team and they wanted

852
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: to get to know me and asked what I did

853
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,439
Speaker 1: for my well being. I said all the things I do,

854
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 1: and I said one thing that's unique is this playbook

855
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 1: concept that I have. And they were like, what's in

856
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: your playbook? And I was like, well, it's personal. You know,

857
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,239
Speaker 1: everybody would have different things in their playbook, but they

858
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 1: love this cond and we did a series of webinars

859
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 1: to bring it to their community, to encourage people during

860
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 1: COVID to create their own playbook. The question kept coming up,

861
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 1: what goes in your playbook? And somebody suggested we create

862
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,839
Speaker 1: a workbook that would help people create their own playbooks.

863
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,240
Speaker 2: This is a little tongue.

864
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: Twister, and that's where this workbook came from. And I

865
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 1: created it with the mental health nonprofit. We've had the

866
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:30,479
Speaker 1: help of mental health professionals. It got amazing accolades from

867
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: behavioral scientists and psychologists, and I'm really proud of it.

868
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:38,240
Speaker 1: It's a work of collaboration. There are stories in there

869
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 1: from veterans and athletes and people in recovery, and then

870
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 1: there's exercises for you to discover the things that help

871
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: you do life a little better.

872
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, you talk about give an hour. I know fifty

873
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,479
Speaker 4: percent of the proceeds are going to give an hour.

874
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 4: That relationship. The work that they do, obviously is very

875
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 4: important to you.

876
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:04,399
Speaker 1: Yes, Their mission is to build more resilient communities through

877
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 1: whether they're physical communities, so people who've been impacted by violence,

878
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: but also communities like the military. They offer one on

879
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 1: one counseling at no cost and peer support, training and

880
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,720
Speaker 1: training and education.

881
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 2: They're amazing And.

882
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 1: The people in the book, one person, Alan Levi Simmons,

883
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 1: is a veteran and he got help from Given Hour.

884
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 2: His story is amazing.

885
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:35,919
Speaker 4: You talk about experiencing something that I think, if people

886
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 4: are honest, a lot of people either feel or experience

887
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:46,360
Speaker 4: or suffer from impostor syndrome both.

888
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,240
Speaker 2: A bit of a buzzword right now, right.

889
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 4: In acting and in life. Well, but I think it's true.

890
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't even know officially what the definition

891
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 4: of that is, but I know that everybody is performing

892
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:01,360
Speaker 4: at all time. It's sort of what I was talking

893
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 4: about before in terms of everybody from action to cut

894
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 4: is all working together. The rest of the time, I

895
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 4: feel like there are thoughts that are going on in

896
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 4: your head about not being not belonging, or not being

897
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 4: a part, or faking it or all of those things

898
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 4: you said you suffered from.

899
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 1: It.

900
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 4: Is the book something that you feel like would have

901
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 4: helped you.

902
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, So all the exercises in there are exercises that

903
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: have helped me. Yeah, and they're all put together. That's

904
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 1: so cool to hear you say that.

905
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 2: Well, our minds can be tricky fuckers.

906
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 4: Yes. Absolutely.

907
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 1: I just got a card today from one psychologist who

908
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 1: helped on the book, and I sent him the book

909
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 1: to say thank you, and I got a thank you

910
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: card and in the back it said, PS, I too

911
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: suffer from imposter syndrome.

912
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 2: I would like to talk about this.

913
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 1: And I think the definition of it is that you

914
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 1: feel like, once you're in this situation and you feel

915
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 1: like you actually don't belong here, You're not you have

916
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 1: not earned the right to be there for your work,

917
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,839
Speaker 1: You're not qualified, and you're going to be found out.

918
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 2: They're going to realize that they made a mistake asking

919
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 2: you to be there, right.

920
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:20,919
Speaker 5: Yeah.

921
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 4: No, absolutely. Is there one tip or one exercise from

922
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 4: the book, from your playbook that you that you can.

923
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 2: Share with me related to impostor syndrome.

924
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Well it's the first exercise, which is called

925
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: what are your greatest achievements?

926
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 2: And that's it.

927
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,279
Speaker 1: We give you one question and you're on your own.

928
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 1: Now we really spoon feed like the questions little by little,

929
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 1: and so your greatest achievements can be things you're proud

930
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: of in your life, but they can also be actually

931
00:53:56,520 --> 00:54:00,040
Speaker 1: things you look back and you're like, that was a

932
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 1: huge challenge for me. I didn't think I was going

933
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 1: to make it through, and somehow I did. For example,

934
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 1: for me freshman year in college, like I was saying

935
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,279
Speaker 1: before this exercise, I wouldn't have looked at it as

936
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:14,319
Speaker 1: the greatest achievement. It would be that was kind of

937
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 1: a failure. I went home, I cried every day. But

938
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:21,359
Speaker 1: doing that exercise, I realized, wait a second, Actually I

939
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 1: did stay till the full year. I learned a lot.

940
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: I persisted, I worked hard, and then I came back.

941
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,479
Speaker 1: I also listened to myself. So you make a list

942
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: of all your greatest achievements, and then it asks you

943
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 1: look at each one of them and ask yourself what

944
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:43,400
Speaker 1: actually helped me get to there through it or the

945
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 1: win or whatever. So you can identify some of your strengths.

946
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: You can identify the people who helped you along the way.

947
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 1: You can see that you were generous. Actually, one of

948
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 1: your greatest achievements is helping others. So it's like you're

949
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 1: building your own little highlight reel. You know this is

950
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 1: your chance, and you're not showing this to anyone. It's

951
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 1: not about bragging. I think a lot of times, especially

952
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: when we're going through tough times, we are not. We

953
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: forget what we're capable of. Let's say you have your

954
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 1: greatest or I'll.

955
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 2: Talk about me. I have my greatest achievements.

956
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 1: Then I'm in a moment which I experience all the time,

957
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome. You know, oh my god, I'm going to

958
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 1: talk with Brian about my book, and Brian's in theater

959
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 1: and I don't know theater, and what am I going

960
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: to talk about. I can look at my greatest achievements

961
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, it's okay. I've done a lot

962
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 1: of work. This is what helps me. I don't need

963
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: to have it figured out. I don't need to pretend

964
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: that I have it all figured out. I'm just going

965
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 1: to be myself. I actually know how to do that. Yeah, so,

966
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 1: and then they each exercise lengths into one another because

967
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 1: there's one about self talk. So it's about creating you know.

968
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 1: This isn't the SNL.

969
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:57,960
Speaker 10: Where you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like,

970
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 10: I am great, right right, It's about creating your own

971
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 10: self talk that's based in your own life, that you

972
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:07,759
Speaker 10: actually believe in.

973
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:11,560
Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I actually worked really hard on

974
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 1: my acting career. I took classes for that many years.

975
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 1: And maybe I still feel like I don't have it

976
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 1: all figure out.

977
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 4: Good.

978
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 1: I'm freaking humble, right, I have a lot to learn, right.

979
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:29,320
Speaker 4: No, I love that getting to know and being comfortable

980
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:32,560
Speaker 4: with what you've done and who you are yourself. I

981
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 4: love that. I'll be honest with you. I would probably

982
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 4: brag once I figured it out, I would probably brag.

983
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 4: I wouldn't keep it to myself. But you know, I

984
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 4: don't know.

985
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 1: I think if you read the book you might not

986
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: you might not gosh, because the second we do talk

987
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:54,280
Speaker 1: about things, really share things. We're in back to Jacques Lucoq.

988
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 1: We put on a.

989
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 2: Mask and this is really about this is just for you.

990
00:56:59,280 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 2: We live.

991
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:03,319
Speaker 1: Every thing is so public, you know, we have big

992
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 1: opinions and we share everything.

993
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 2: This is just a space for you.

994
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what's interesting. And again I'm really

995
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 4: not just trying to tie it all together. I think,

996
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 4: if nothing else, what everything you said just means to

997
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 4: me in this moment is it's really about taking off

998
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 4: the mask, at least with yourself, because I think that

999
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 4: that's the problem is oftentimes, I mean, we all have

1000
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 4: a mask when we interact with everybody. I mean, your

1001
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,920
Speaker 4: mask is different depending on who you're interact you know,

1002
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 4: whether it's your buddies or your girlfriends, or your spouse's

1003
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 4: or your mom and dad or whatever. But then this

1004
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 4: feels to me like taking the mask off at least

1005
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 4: by when we're by ourselves and being true and real,

1006
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:57,360
Speaker 4: which is so important.

1007
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and by which can be scary.

1008
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 4: Too the hell yeah, are you kidding me? Looking at

1009
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 4: my actual self? Jesus.

1010
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 1: But then when you do, you get to this place

1011
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:19,920
Speaker 1: compassion and understanding with yourself, and and then you realize,

1012
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: wait a second, what's really important to me is this,

1013
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:28,200
Speaker 1: Unless you go deep down, we can get sidetracked and

1014
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 1: worried about the mask and what other people are going

1015
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: to think and all that, and when we are comfortable

1016
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 1: with ourselves, then we can connect better with others around us.

1017
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 11: Absolutely, you know, in a way, Sorry, I didn't mean

1018
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 11: to get so excited, but enacting when we prepare, what

1019
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 11: we hope for when we from action to cut is

1020
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 11: to be truthful, to listen, to.

1021
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 1: Connect really at present. Yes, So in a way, all

1022
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 1: these exercise is I looked at them and I was like,

1023
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 1: these would be great exercise to do character development, except

1024
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:06,880
Speaker 1: it's your own.

1025
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:11,920
Speaker 4: Character, right, But it's yeah, but the opposite, right that

1026
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 4: trying to find the absence of creating that character that

1027
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:19,600
Speaker 4: is you in your in your mind, you know what

1028
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 4: I mean, like attempting to strip it down and be truth.

1029
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 2: Truthful, bringing yourself to the part.

1030
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 4: Yeah even if you yeah, even as you say, when

1031
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 4: I made the stupid joke, but that you don't share

1032
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 4: it with anybody, that at least in that moment, that

1033
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 4: is truth.

1034
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:38,920
Speaker 2: Yes, it's so liberating.

1035
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 4: I love that. I love that. Well done. I'm getting

1036
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 4: the book this afternoon, by the way, because it is

1037
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 4: available now. Selfish step into a journey of self discovery

1038
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:58,120
Speaker 4: to revive confidence, joy, and meaning. Stephanie, congratulations on the book,

1039
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 4: on your career, on and finally finding what you were

1040
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,439
Speaker 4: meant to be and what brings you joy. You were

1041
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 4: so delightful to talk to and such a radiant, joyful spirit.

1042
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 4: So thank you for being at least as open as

1043
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 4: possible good with me.

1044
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 2: You're the best interviewer. Thank you so much. And let's

1045
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 2: play golf.

1046
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 4: Oh for sure, we're playing golf.

1047
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,600
Speaker 2: I know you interviewed one of the persons who I

1048
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 2: played in the Ryder Cup, AJ Hawk.

1049
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 4: So you played with agent.

1050
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,040
Speaker 2: I didn't play with him, but we were there the same.

1051
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 4: You were against each other.

1052
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 2: No, I played against Kelly's.

1053
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 4: Aj is an idiot. He hits the ball a long way.

1054
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:49,400
Speaker 4: Here's the problem. He didn't know where it's going. He

1055
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 4: didn't he has no idea where. Oh, he has no idea.

1056
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,160
Speaker 4: He hits it far. Hit ce ball, hit ball far,

1057
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 4: long way off the planet. He almost killed me a

1058
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:02,280
Speaker 4: couple of times hitting into me. I wasn't even play

1059
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 4: in his group. That's how just hits it. All right,

1060
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 4: we're gonna do it. We're gonna bet big money, and

1061
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 4: you're gonna give me lots of strokes because you're a five.

1062
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 2: I'll bet you some French franks.

1063
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 4: French Franks. I don't think you can, can you. I don't.

1064
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 4: You can't spend those. You can't get that over on me.

1065
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 4: You can't spend those anymore. I know that, Stephanie.

1066
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:45,080
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you so much, Thanks Brian, Stephanie Mercy boku.

1067
01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 4: As they say in France, that means thank you very much.

1068
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 4: I love getting to know you today, learning about your

1069
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 4: incredibly fascinating journey. And yes, next time you're in so

1070
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 4: Caw or I'm on the East Coast, we're gonna get together.

1071
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 4: We're gonna hit the golf course. Just bring your money. Listeners,

1072
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 4: you should definitely go pick up her book Selfish right now.

1073
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:11,439
Speaker 4: It is literally for your own good, and then come

1074
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 4: back next time for another episode of Off the Beat.

1075
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 4: Until then, everybody, have an excellent week. Off the Beat

1076
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 4: is hosted and executive produced by me Brian Baumgartner, alongside

1077
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 4: our executive producer Ling Lee. Our senior producer is Diego Tapia.

1078
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 4: Our producers are Liz Hayes, Hannah Harris, and Emily Carr.

1079
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:47,840
Speaker 4: Our talent producer is Ryan Papa Zachary, and our intern

1080
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 4: is Ali Amir Saheen. Our theme song Bubble and Squeak,

1081
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 4: performed by the one and only creed brag