WEBVTT - Two Jersey Js: Blossoming Bialik 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:05.160 Hey, everyone, it's Jackie gl Schnider and Jen Fessler. We 0:00:05.240 --> 0:00:09.760 are two Jersey Jays, and oh my goodness, I'm so 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:11.320 excited for today's show. 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.400 Today is like, this episode is Jackie's baby. 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:14.760 I know. 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:18.640 I have been a fan of my and b Elic 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:21.480 since I can't even tell you, since the first time 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:23.279 I saw her in Beaches, which is a movie that 0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:23.960 breaks my heart. 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:25.520 I can't even watch it anymore. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:29.560 But she has just like always been larger than life 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:32.599 to make agreed, and somebody with that career longevity, I'm 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:36.080 just I'm so I'm so eager to ask her, like 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:37.519 what that's been like. 0:00:37.840 --> 0:00:41.160 Yeah, yeah, I mean I was an avid Blossom watcher. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.280 Of course, Beaches is I can't watch so funny after Kids, 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:46.320 It's really kind of a hard movie to watch, right. 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:50.760 Yeah, anything with kids, like losing a parent or a 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:51.840 parent losing a kid. 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:56.080 Since having children, I cannot. I've never seen terms of do. 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:58.640 I can't. I can't. It's too heartbreaking. 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:00.600 And then I get sad, like I car the sadness 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:03.400 with me, So I can't watch those. But she's just 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:06.640 been like larger than life, like I said, But what 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:09.440 I really want to talk to her about is you know, 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:12.399 you and I have discussed this, like this focus on 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.080 what brings you true authentic happiness in middle age and 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:18.920 how to live your best life in middle age. So 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:22.959 I'm very curious to hear about how her meaning of 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:24.920 success may have changed over the years. 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:26.959 Yeah, you know, I mean you and I were talking 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:32.800 earlier about how you know this podcast has we started it, 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:35.200 you know, with the idea that it was going to 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:39.280 be about middle aged women and our struggles, our successes, 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:42.520 our joys, our sorrows, and I think there's so much 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:46.520 that comes up episode to episode that, you know, bringing 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:48.040 it back to this. I feel like mim is a 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:50.640 great gives us a great opportunity to bring it back 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:53.160 to how does it feel now as opposed to how 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:54.640 it felt then? 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:55.240 Yes? 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:58.360 Right, yeah, I mean how you change with the whole 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:04.400 the aging process, you know, specifically in Hollywood, but just 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.360 also dealing with, you know, the day to day of 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:08.680 getting older. She's not I want to say, she's younger 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.760 than me, older than you. She is one year older 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:12.920 than me, one year older than you. 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:16.560 Okay, so we'll introduce her before we bring her in. 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:17.760 Though, how have you been. 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:25.920 I've been good, good, adjacent good ish. Yeah, yeah, So 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.520 what's going on? Well, I mean, I'm sort of getting 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:34.520 used to still, even though it's my second season on 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:38.520 Riho and J I'm still getting used to some stuff. 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:43.640 And for me in particular, lately, it's been hard for 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:48.920 me to adjust to the change in the way that 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:52.519 viewers see me and the way they're reacting on social media. 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.360 And I didn't think i'd have a problem with that. 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.120 We've spoken so many times about like when you get 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.120 to a certain age, the best thing about aging is 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.120 that you get the you know, who gives a shits 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:08.280 like whatever, But so I have some of that creeping in. 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:10.280 If I was younger, I think it would be worse 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:13.600 and just kind of getting used to the fact that 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:16.000 not everyone likes me. 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:20.320 It's more than that, though it's the vitriol. It's social 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.720 media is really hard. And I've been doing this, you know, 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.400 since twenty eighteen. I'm still not used to it. I 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:29.520 still don't like it to go on social media and 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:33.680 just see people destroying you. Like I could post the 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:37.440 most like like picture of like nothing having to do 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:39.560 with the show, and I will just get like one 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:43.560 hundred mean comments and like, yeah, you get a little 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:47.520 bit numb to it, but it never stopped, at least 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.119 for me. It doesn't stop hurting your feelings. And like, yes, 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.120 signed up for it, signed up for a public life, 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:55.600 sign up for a reality show life. 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:57.880 But it doesn't make it any easier, you know. 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:01.360 You know, I always talk about this with my therapist 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:06.520 that this show has really like provided me such a 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:14.360 mirror image of myself, my own journey, my personality, the 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.839 way I approach stuff. I could watch episodes and I 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:20.279 could see looks in my eyes that I recognize, like, 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:24.680 for instance, fear right, which is fear is something I 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:28.159 deal with, have been dealing with my whole life. But 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:29.839 I see it in my eyes and I see the 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:32.680 way that I'm reacting to whomever it is at the time. 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:36.960 And it's interesting because it's like, in a way, it's 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:40.400 this fabulous microcosm of life. And I guess what I'm 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.320 getting at is that even like with the social media, 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:46.560 so it's now upfront and personal in terms of how 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:48.279 people do people like me, do they not? And like 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:51.039 what do I do with that information? So as a 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:54.000 fifty five year old, you know, I like to think 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:56.960 that I'm evolving and that it just doesn't matter. Or 0:04:57.000 --> 0:05:00.320 when I see myself on the show and there's something 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:03.640 that I recognize, I try to like look at it 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:06.080 with compassion and give myself compassion and all of these 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:08.480 things that I've learned in therapy, and all of that 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:12.160 is great in theory, it's harder in practice. So it's 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.560 some of this is so thrilling. We both know that 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.839 some of this is like the greatest adventure in other 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.479 parts of it are hard. But I do think that 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.920 it's it's like an opportunity. I'm trying to tell myself 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.400 that it's like an opportunity. When I see people saying 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:30.720 mean things about me online, like, that's a great opportunity 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:35.200 for me to practice being fifty five. Yeah, and practice 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:39.479 like I don't give shit, yeah, and practice not being 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.359 addicted to social media. 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:41.600 Right. 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:44.760 I try to Also it's a good lesson in how 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.480 turning your phone off or stepping away from social media 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:53.120 can change your you know, perspective and like help you 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:56.479 feel better and more presence. It is hard, though, but 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:01.159 all right, I think we are ready for our guests. 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:01.919 Oh can I. 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:04.560 Well, we have two minutes till she comes in, But 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:06.799 I want to tell everybody about her because not everybody 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:08.000 loves her the way that we do. 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:10.120 I mean they should, but they may not know her that. 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:13.000 They don't they don't know her nor I didn't. 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:14.600 Mean it like that, like, of course to know her 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:18.120 is to love her. But mayan biolac. Where do I start? 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:21.599 She has had the most incredible acting career. So she 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:24.839 was in her first major movie at twelve, had many 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:28.400 many sickcom roles. But I remember her first, like I said, 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:32.520 in Beaches with Bette Midler, she was phenomenal. Then she 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.120 was the star of Blossom, and then the star of 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:38.440 Big Bang Theory and movies. 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:42.280 She hosted Jeopardy and she's remained. 0:06:41.920 --> 0:06:44.600 A start, which is so rare, right well, And for 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:46.440 those of you that are too young or just never 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:50.520 watched Blossom, it's interesting to me because her character on 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:54.920 it was so was like this young girl, but she 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:57.120 was like so her own person at that time, right, 0:06:57.160 --> 0:06:59.040 Like didn't she have like the hair was. 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:02.400 Like yeah, and she wore the hat hats like yes 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:03.120 and flowers. 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:06.200 She was sort of this, uh you know, she wasn't 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:10.119 cut from the same cloth. She was like a little different, 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:12.080 a little eccentric, and it was so cool. 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:13.679 Yeah, it was so cool. 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:16.040 But then you think about it, like she's this big 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:19.800 a list star. I consider her an a list star, 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:22.480 but like, at the core, she's a middle aged woman, 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:26.960 a mom Jewish daughter of Eastern European immigrants, like just 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:31.480 like us, you know, but she's she's also really brilliant. 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:35.440 She's prioritized education throughout her career. She holds a PhD 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:39.000 in neuroscience from UCLA. She's an advocate for mental health, 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:43.120 and she really doesn't slow down. So I'm really really 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:44.240 excited to talk to her. 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.000 I just want to like pick her brain. I just 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:50.560 want to like know how she does coming miyamolic, Like 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.320 what was that like? And how do I get there? 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.640 Like what was life like? Yeah, I'm so excited. I 0:07:55.680 --> 0:08:03.720 think she's here. Okay, Hi, how are you good? We're 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:07.840 going to try not to fangirl out. I got a 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:09.960 little of that going on. I know Jackie does too. 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:13.600 I can just stop. Hi, thank you so much for 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:16.040 being on. We're so honored to have you here. 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:16.720 We certainly are. 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:18.160 Yeah. 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:20.680 I love what's going on where you're sitting. Where is that? 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:24.560 It's so this is my this is my house, this 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:27.920 is my ridiculous like we call it the library. It's 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.880 just a wall of books, right, Yeah, And I just 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:33.600 live in like a weird hundred year old farmhouse, and 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:36.120 I'm also wearing overalls, which I realize is really stupid. 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:36.920 It's really not. 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:39.640 It's really so perfect that I can't stand it. It's 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:42.400 just like the whole visual right now is just this. 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:43.720 Is really perfect. Yes, it is. 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:46.560 We were talking about before you came on, even like 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:51.800 going back to Blossom and how you played this character 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:54.680 that was not like the traditional how old is Blossom? 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:56.160 What was the character? 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:59.120 I was fourteenth, I was fourteen to nineteen, so yeah, 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.160 it was like about the high school. Yeah, but it 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:01.560 was like this. 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:05.679 It was this girl that was cool and different and 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:08.200 like when nobody was maybe a lot of times now 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:10.480 I feel like nobody still is. But she had this 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.920 thing about her and it was, you know, she was 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:17.040 left of center and the best possible way, and so 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.000 which just I was always left of center, not always 0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:22.480 in the best possible way, but whatever, but it's just 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.839 it's it was inspiring even back then. And Jackie is. 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.360 Yeah, well, you know, we could probably talk about all 0:09:29.400 --> 0:09:31.480 your old roles all day. I could talk about beaches 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:34.000 all day, but you know, our podcast really has a 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.640 focus on middle aged women and what really brings us 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:40.480 happiness and enjoy at this age. And you've been doing 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:45.040 this NonStop since childhood. So I'm wondering to start if 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:49.440 your your definition of success has that changed for you 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:52.440 over the years and in middle age. 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:56.360 Yeah, I mean, you know, when I think back, you know, 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:58.840 to my blossom years, which, like I said, I was 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.600 fourteen to nineteen, I'm sorry if that makes everybody feel old. 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:03.120 I'm forty eight now. 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:07.280 No, wow, that makes me feel old, but sorry. 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.800 No, I mean I think that, you know, at that time, 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:13.040 you know, I had I had started acting when I 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:15.360 was eleven, and I know that sounds really young, and 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:18.040 it is very young, but I was considered like a 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:20.959 late bloomer in the industry because most child actors or 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:23.199 teen actors had been acting since they were like two 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:26.360 or three. So I always felt like I was one 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.720 step behind, and I didn't really know how to do it, 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.160 and I didn't really understand how to navigate the business. 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.319 So I always felt kind of different even in terms 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:38.160 of like understanding success. But you know, I went to 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.240 college after Blossom ended, and I come from an immigrant family. 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:44.480 My grandparents are immigrants from Eastern Europe, and so you know, 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:47.920 success was like surviving in America, like that was still 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.840 what it sort of felt like, was like go to college, 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:51.839 like girls can go to. 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:54.839 College, you know, yeah, you know, yeah. 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:58.040 Like right, like for my grandparents that was like lucky 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:01.199 you you get like actually not have to get married 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:05.000 at sixteen, you know. So I think for me, academic 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:09.440 success was really important. I really liked being sort of 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.160 appreciated and I'm sure you both you know, can relate 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:14.600 to like not just what I can offer you, but 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.440 like who I am and what you know, what my 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.120 brain does and how I feel about things. So that 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:23.120 was kind of like college. And then I became a mom. 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.080 You know, I had my first son in grad school. 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:28.800 The concept of like success as a mom, Like I 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.160 was kind of a mom at the I'd say more 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.880 of the beginning stages of a lot of the competitiveness 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.800 that we now see is like so so much pressure 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:38.760 on women to like do it right and like is 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:41.160 your kid achieving what they should and all this stuff. 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.240 So for me, like the success notion as a parent 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.880 has been the most intimidating of all, like more than 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:50.200 being on Jeopardy, more than you know, trying to get 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.679 Emmy nominations on the Big Bang Theory. Like more than 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:55.160 any of that is like, you know, what do my 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.280 kids say about me? Right? Like what kind of people 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:02.480 are they? And minor eighteen and fifteen? Now, so my. 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.800 Head is racing with when we're gonna book episode the 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.320 second episode for this because I'm already like getting like 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.319 I'm getting like anxious because I want to talk to you. 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.560 There's so much just about that about the kid thing, right, 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:16.160 and what it's like to be someone who is famous 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:20.280 and has been since you know, you were a kid, 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:23.640 raising kids, and how does that affect all of that? 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:26.400 There's like I just I just want to come over 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:27.640 and spend the night and and. 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:31.240 I'm sure my kids would have a lot to talk. 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:31.559 To you about. 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:43.200 I will bring mine and believe me, you've been a 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:46.559 working actress. You're still a working actress now in your forties, 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:50.760 And how does it feel different for you? Obviously it's 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:52.920 different from when you were acting as a kid, but 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:55.240 the pressure of it all, like as a grown woman 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.280 as opposed to an adolescent and even a young woman, 0:12:58.360 --> 0:12:58.720 how does. 0:12:58.640 --> 0:12:59.559 It feel the pressure? 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:02.960 Yeah, you know, I noticed the biggest difference when I 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.679 started on Big Bang Theory, you know, I had a 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:11.240 toddler and basically an infant, and I remember at that time, 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:14.240 you know, I was already let's say I was thirty three, 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.720 thirty four or something like that, and I already noticed 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.400 a huge difference because I had a different life to 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:22.520 go home to, and I think, like, before you're a mom, 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:25.160 like so much is about like what am I offering 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:26.959 the world and what are they seeing of me? And 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:30.400 you've got oodles of time to spend them yourself. But 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.040 you know, once I kind of had to orient you know, 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.160 as a mom. It was kind of like everything at 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.960 work was like whatever happens is fine, Like I don't 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:40.160 need to be the star of every scene. I don't 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:43.080 need to Like if I have one line this week's episode, great, 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.240 that's more time to nap in my dressing room. You know. 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:48.120 Whereas when I was younger, it was like it was 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:51.480 more competitive, and I felt that competition more wow. But 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:53.280 you know, I think in that sense, like you know, 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.480 becoming a parent, like it really kind of brings you 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.480 to your knees, right, it really sobers you up. 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:01.600 Do you think other actors feel that way? Like somebody 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.679 who's not an actor. I feel more that way. I 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.120 care less about things than I used to things. It 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:09.600 seems so important, right, But do you feel like right, 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:13.120 because I feel like maybe you are unique in that 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.880 experience in terms of being an actor celebrity, like you 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:19.520 still want as many lines as you can get. But 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:20.640 maybe I'm right. 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:23.400 Yeah, I mean I think, Look, I think there's going 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:25.720 to be variability. Of course, like I can't speak for 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:28.760 all actors, but I also know that, you know, people 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.160 parent all sorts of different ways, and I think if 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.400 you have a lot of help, you know, it's distributed differently, 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:37.320 whereas like it was kind of just me and my husband, 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:39.440 you know, so it was kind of like I was 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.000 rushing home to sort of like do stuff and make 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:43.960 food and you know, all the things, which you know, 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:46.600 I think that's also a very interesting statistic that, like, 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:49.320 you know, in the majority of homes where women are 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:53.880 the primary breadwinner, they often are still responsible for like housecare, childcare, 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:57.080 you know, all those things. So that discrepancy also weighs 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.720 differently on people, depending on you know, how they parent. 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:02.360 But yeah, I think for me, also, like I had 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:04.720 spent twelve years kind of away from the industry, and 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.240 I think that was helpful for me. I think it felt, 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:11.120 it felt comfortable. You know. Look, academia is also like 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.320 a lot of ego, a lot of pressure on women 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:16.240 different than then, you know, so it's not like I was, like, 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:18.760 you know, sitting on a beach for twelve years, but 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:21.479 it's very different, you know, than the pressures of the industry. 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:23.680 And look, the other thing is that when I was 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.600 on Blossom, there was no social media. There was no 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:30.360 like like public relations pr machine, like telling you know, 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:33.240 especially young women what we should look like or who 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:35.440 we should wear. You know, that didn't exist. And when 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:36.760 I was on Big Bank Theory, it was like a 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:39.560 whole new world, you know, it was a whole new 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:43.880 world of being a public person and like Papa Razzi 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:47.120 and you know, things like that. So that was also 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.720 a big difference, which I think for me as kind 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:51.960 of an introvert who lives my life as an extrovert, 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.240 that was also really like a surprising shift. And I was, 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.720 you know, glad to have kind of some normalcy at home, 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.840 even if normalcy meant life like you know, sitting on 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:03.360 the floor, like you know, reading two small people and 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:05.040 making you know, beans and Rice for dinner. 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:08.240 Can I ask you've been going for so long? 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:11.240 Do you ever feel like so we're both on a 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:15.800 reality show and like even though that you watched it now, 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:19.840 don't tell me I would put that as zero person. 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.160 That's kind just like blow my whole picture. 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:25.400 But you know, even for for us, like sometimes I 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:28.880 get this feeling of like it would be nice to 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:31.640 not be so public, like I can I can't imagine 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:32.480 your life. 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.600 Do you do you ever feel that like this draw 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:37.960 to live a private life? 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.720 Yeah, I mean I think. Look, I think the two 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.160 of you, you know, have a lot that you could 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:49.080 sort of, you know, teach me about this because the line, well, 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:52.240 but the line between reality and you know, like the 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:55.200 masks that we wear, you know, even on a reality show, 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.200 like even that like that's not I mean, it's you. 0:16:57.280 --> 0:16:59.680 And it's very different for me, like I really got 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:03.160 to like put on a character and then take it off, 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:06.680 you know, for me, like there was there was more 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.520 of a sense of control or choice you know, around 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:12.520 like who's in my space and who knows all those things? So, 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.080 you know, I think that and look, there's a reason 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:20.400 that people enjoy you know, reality television is because it's 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.439 a it's a form of media that people want to 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:27.080 understand and you are, You're getting a totally different perspective. 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:29.760 But yeah, I mean I sometimes have that fantasy and look, 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.280 being in grad school and being away from the industry 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:33.840 was a little bit of a taste of that, like 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:36.439 what if no one cares? What if I don't know 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:39.000 what size bra I wear because I haven't worn one 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.480 in so long and I'm just wearing shelfzanks, you know, 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:44.840 Like it was a little bit of like I don't 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:46.840 even know, Like when I did What Not to Wear, 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:49.639 you know, which was like this makeover show, right, I 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:51.879 literally had no idea what size I was because I 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.040 was just like wearing the same thing for years that 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:57.120 like were my mom cloths. Right. There's a certain kind 0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:00.080 of safety to that, and I think, you know, I 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.760 think any time we think we know what we want, 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:04.639 like I'm going to be a public person, I'm gonna 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:06.960 get famous, like that's gonna be my life, there's always 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.000 this kind of like shadow side of it of like, 0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:10.920 oh my gosh, can I put the genie back in 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:13.800 the bottle? You know? What did I open up? What 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:16.240 did I reveal of myself? And do I have to 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:19.040 keep it going. And I think that's really the challenge 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:22.480 and the difference between you know, kind of reality and 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:25.159 you know, sort of like the sitcom world, right like 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:30.120 yours is an ongoing existence, right and people know you. 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:34.000 Whereas for me, like I can be like I don't 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:36.840 have a job right now, and my life is you know, 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.320 very different, and I'm like being a mom, you know 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.640 for most of my life and nobody cares that I'm in. 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:45.840 Overalls a time where it's encroached and it's bled into 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:46.920 your personal life. 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:51.240 I think my kids would probably say, so, you know, 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:55.040 they didn't watch me on TV, and I've pretty much 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.800 kept them out of even like social media stuff, Like 0:18:57.800 --> 0:18:59.480 there's stuff from when they're younger, and I wrote a 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:01.760 book about ranting, and you know, their dad and I 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:04.159 talked about like what pictures are we comfortable with? But 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:06.840 you know, once they got older, I tried to be 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.119 really really careful. But even now, you know, I have 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.960 a podcast it's called mym Bilet's Breakdown, and it's about 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:14.200 mental health and wellness. So I have to be really 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:16.720 I have to be really careful to not you know, 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:18.040 I mean, I want to talk about my kids all 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:20.359 the time, they're like the best source of information for 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:23.880 like funny things, embarrassing things. So for me, it's been 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:27.160 you know, trying to maintain some sort of privacy for them. 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:29.440 But you know, like my older son looks a lot 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:31.919 like me, and I feel like whoops, you know, like 0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:36.399 just like where's my face? Everywhere he goes? And and 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:38.960 you know that carries with it its own kind of weight, 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.760