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Speaker 1: Today, I afked up by accidentally getting my wife to

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Speaker 1: admit to an affair, but what she said next made

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Speaker 1: it ten times worse.

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Speaker 2: I admit to ten affairs.

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Speaker 3: You were the product of an affair, and I of

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Speaker 3: your mother. No, that would be a red of story.

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Speaker 1: God, there you go, all right, Here we go, Here

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Speaker 1: we go. So on Christmas morning, we were both up early.

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Speaker 1: She was about to do some last minute shopping. We

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Speaker 1: had a mutual couple that we were friends with, and

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Speaker 1: they broke up. And so I reply back with, well,

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Speaker 1: maybe if they would have been honest with their partner,

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Speaker 1: they wouldn't have broken up. I guessually thought this was

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Speaker 1: me tipping my cap to say that I know something.

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Speaker 1: Oh So she looks at me with a lot of

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Speaker 1: sadness and sincerity and says, yeah, I guess you're right.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. At this point, I'm like, yeah, right, okay whatever.

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Speaker 1: She then responds, no, I'm tired of lying. At this moment,

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Speaker 1: I'm in utter disbelief. She proceeds to tell me everything.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, I'll spare the details for anonymity's sake, But

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Speaker 1: I'm laying on my sister's couch currently at one am.

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Speaker 1: I have an apartment I'll be moving into within the

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Speaker 1: next two weeks. It's been rough. We've talked since then,

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Speaker 1: as we have a child together. Damn, I see my

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Speaker 1: little girl every day. There's no chance of reconciliation because

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Speaker 1: this isn't the first, second, or third time it's happened

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Speaker 1: on her end.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, but it will be the last.

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Speaker 1: Oh fire, that's a bar update though. Oh yes, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure the child is mine. Reddit there was a herd test.

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Speaker 1: Keep in mind her best friend had died around the

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Speaker 1: time this last affair started. She also refused to go

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Speaker 1: to therapy because it doesn't work for her.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you know. It's always telling me like, don't

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Speaker 3: cheat on your partner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she has a quirky coping mechanism, but instead of therapy,

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Speaker 1: she fucks dude.

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Speaker 3: Dude. She's so low, like st random, Like it's like,

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Speaker 3: one day I'll be with you crazy. I'm just so crazy.

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Speaker 3: I'll be with you and that'll be another guy. That's

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Speaker 3: why I'm so random.

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Speaker 1: I know, yeah, literally random. I will select any of

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Speaker 1: your friends at random, invite them over to our bed.

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Speaker 2: Forget a friend, just like a person on the street. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're looking to Landom street Man.

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Speaker 3: Yummy.

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Speaker 1: She's been taking no medication for her depression or anything,

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Speaker 1: but she's carried a perfect online persona that allows her

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Speaker 1: to mask or flaws, so everyone only sees what she

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Speaker 1: wants them to see. This isn't to disrespect her, but

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Speaker 1: it is who she is, and she has stated as such.

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Speaker 1: Wow there's another update.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: She claims it's only an online thing and it's just

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Speaker 1: for mental stimulation.

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Speaker 3: Mental stimulation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this is the like sexual cheating version

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Speaker 2: of intrusive body.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I know.

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Speaker 3: Sorry.

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Speaker 1: I was just letting the intrusive thoughts win for a

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Speaker 1: little bit, baby, you know, only one on Tinder a

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Speaker 1: little bit.

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Speaker 3: Oh god.

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Speaker 1: Someone mentioned the polyamory thing and she tried to get

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Speaker 1: me on board with this. I could do the same,

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Speaker 1: but maybe I'm old fashioned, but I want us to

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Speaker 1: be old together forever, couple. I wanted that for us,

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Speaker 1: not a whole group.

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Speaker 3: You unprogressive pig.

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Speaker 1: How dare you?

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Speaker 3: How dare you?

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Speaker 1: Update?

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Speaker 3: Three? Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So last night I come by after work to spend

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Speaker 1: a little time with my daughter, help her with homework, etc.

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Speaker 1: Right her mom asked me what my game plan was

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Speaker 1: for the night. I tell her I've really got to

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Speaker 1: go find some documents for work that I've seen to

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Speaker 1: have misplaced, but I can come back if she would

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Speaker 1: like to talk about the separation and make heads or

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Speaker 1: tails of this entire thing. It's about a half hour

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Speaker 1: later and I go back and I knock and then

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Speaker 1: proceed to walk into the house and she is video

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Speaker 1: chatting this guy having.

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Speaker 3: Phone sex in front of me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, bro, I couldn't do anything but laugh

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Speaker 1: and turn around and say, whoops, hope it works out

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Speaker 1: for you, and proceed to leave. Please stay left, bro, Oh,

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Speaker 1: there's a situation that you don't need.

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Speaker 3: I would have been like, hey, good luck, buddy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, you were the other twelve food She thought, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: letting those in thoughts win.

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Speaker 3: Books.

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Speaker 2: When dude, I mean they're intruding a lot. They're all

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Speaker 2: the kings horses and all the King's men. Could not

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Speaker 2: get her vagina together again? Man, wowow piece of work, man.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: And I also love how this just came from like

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Speaker 2: the most random thing, which is like, oh, like totally

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Speaker 2: just like totally just look at this saying oh that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we should really be honest with each other. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then she's like, all right, finally I can tell them.

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Speaker 1: I was waiting for you to say that we could

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Speaker 1: be honest with each other all the time. I thought

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Speaker 1: this relationship was built on lying. You never specifically said

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Speaker 1: be honest. Come on, come on, got to be clear

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Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you want me to tell

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Speaker 1: you the truth? Oh no, could you please spell that out?

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Speaker 1: For all of my relationships are built off lies. That

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Speaker 1: is my love language, lying.

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Speaker 3: But Sam, you know what my love language is.

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Speaker 1: What's your love language?

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Speaker 2: People sending stories to r slash okop.

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Speaker 1: Every time I see a new one of your stories,

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Speaker 1: I get rock hard. O my god, please help me

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Speaker 1: not need a subscription for viagra, and keep sending stories.

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Speaker 3: Send them through, guys, We're rating them