WEBVTT - From the Vault: Gáe Bulg 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:07.560 Hey, welcome to stuff to bow your mind. My name 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:10.360 is Robert Lamb and I'm Joe McCormick. And it's Saturday. 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:12.400 Time you go into the Old Vault. This time you 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:16.040 better armor up your your butt because there is a 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:19.439 spear coming for your anus. That's right, we're not talking 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:23.840 about space here. We're talking about Irish mythology. We're getting 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:28.720 into the tales of Mighty Colanko Holland. We ran into 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:31.960 some difficulties pronouncing the title the name of the hero 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.639 in this episode, but it is a pretty fun one 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:39.760 that we originally published What To nineteen and it's we 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:43.319 figured it's a perfect one to unleash once more, right 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:47.080 before St. Patty's Day. Let's jump right in. By this time, 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:50.560 the two combatants were at the edge feet of swords. 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:55.319 Then ford It caught Koo Holland unguarded and dealt him 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:58.960 a blow with his ivory hilted blade, which he plunged 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:03.200 into co Holand's rest, and Kohland's blood had dripped into 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:06.240 his belt, and the ford was red with the blood 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:10.840 from the warrior's body. Kohlan brooke not this wounding, for 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.800 for thea had attacked him with a succession of deadly 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:19.080 stout blows, and he asked lug for guy bolga. Such 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:22.320 was the nature of the guy bolga. It used to 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:25.640 be set down stream and cast from between the toes. 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.720 It made a one wound as it entered a man's body, 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.640 but it had thirty barbs when one tried to remove it, 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.360 and it was not taken from a man's body until 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:38.520 the flesh was cut away about it. And when for 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:41.920 Dea had heard mention of the guy bolga, he thrust 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:45.000 down the shield to shelter the lower part of his body. 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:48.800 Kou Holland cast the fine spear from off the palm 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:51.560 of his hand, over the rim of the shield, and 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:54.720 over the breast piece of the horn skin, so that 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:58.040 its farther half was visible. After it had pierced for 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:01.800 Dead's heart in his breath. For Dead thrust up the 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.480 shield to protect the upper part of his body, but 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:08.079 that was helped that came too late. The charioteer sent 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:12.520 the guy bulga downstream. Kuholland caught it between his toes 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:15.320 and made a cast of it at for Dead, and 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:18.720 the guy bulga went through the strong, thick apron of 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:22.519 smelted iron and broke in three the great stone, as 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:26.160 big as a millstone, and entered for Dead's body through 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.640 the anus, and filled every joint and limb of him 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:33.400 with its barbs. That service is now said for dead. 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:37.360 I have fallen by that cast. But indeed strongly do 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:39.880 you cast from your right foot? And it was not 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:43.480 fitting that I should fall by you. And as he spoke, 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:47.120 he uttered these words, oh hound of the fair feats, 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:50.600 it was not fitting that you should slay me. Yours 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:53.880 is the guilt which clung to me. On you, My 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:57.720 blood was shed Doomed men who reached the gap of 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:02.359 betrayal do not flourish. That is my voice. Alas heroes 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:06.800 have been destroyed. My ribs, like spoils, are broken. My 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:11.240 heart is gore. Would that I had not fought, I 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:18.600 have fallen, Oh hound. Welcome to Stuff to Blow your 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:27.640 mind from How Stuff Works dot Com. Hey, welcome to 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:30.000 Stuff to Blow your mind. My name is Robert Lamb, 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:33.399 and I'm Joe McCormick. And that opening reading was from 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:36.960 the cecil a Rahai translation of and I'm going to 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:41.240 do my best the tying bow colonge. Um, we're gonna 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:45.000 be obviously talking about Irish mythology today, and unfortunately that 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:46.760 means we're gonna be trying to pronounce a lot of 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.080 words and probably sometimes failing. Please bear with us, but 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:52.160 it's done out of love and we do our best. 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:54.920 That's right. And it feels good to come back around 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:59.040 some Irish mythology here because Irish Irish smith is rich 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:05.080 with fantastic stick ideas, uh, magic, magical beings, monsters, and 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:09.360 in this case, a very interesting magical weapon that is 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:13.480 the unreally unlike anything else I've read about. Robert, you 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.960 have been on such a kick of magical weapons these days. 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:20.520 You you're you're big into Cupid's leaden arrows. We did 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.960 the triedent. No, I'm down with it. This is funny. 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:27.479 We also have the older episode about the about various 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:30.000 spinning weapons of death that I did with the Christian 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.560 But even after all those, the episode today about Guy 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.760 Bolga the spear of the hero Ku Holland I think 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:39.520 this is this takes the cake. This is the weirdest 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:43.039 best magical weapon with with biological connections that we have 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:46.719 discussed yet I am pretty certain of it. Yeah. In fact, 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:48.960 it's gonna be maybe a fun exercise for listeners to 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:53.720 try and predict where we're gonna land biologically. Okay, at 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:55.880 the end of this episode, to to get into the 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:59.279 science of the of the guy Bolga. Now, Robert, I 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.120 admit befo four we did this episode. I had no 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.960 idea who ko Holland was, and I probably would have 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:08.919 pronounced it like ku kuk Lane or whatever this is. 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:12.080 So this is a hero of Irish mythology who I 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:15.240 had never even heard of before. Yeah, you know, I 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:18.120 think I'd run across the mention of him in passing, 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.560 but I don't think i'd ever actually read any of 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:22.680 the tales about him, or even the poems about him. 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:25.880 I mean, there's a there's a Yates poem co Holand Comforted. 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:30.000 So he's not an obscure character in Irish myth by 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:33.480 any stretch of the imagination. But co Holand is so cool. 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:35.920 How could I have not heard about this? I feel 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:38.000 like the people who study Irish mythology have got to 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.320 get in touch with Hollywood or something, get some movies 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:44.040 going so people know these myths better. Well, yeah, he's 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:46.720 quite a figure. So co Holand is uh, you know, 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:50.160 mythological hero that has been described as the Irish Achilles. 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:54.920 Or even the Irish Incredible Hulk custom maybe a little closer. Yeah, 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.560 and if you can, but probably already get a sense 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:01.240 here we're talking about yet another mythological killing machine, an 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:05.120 ancient soldier, you know, streaked in gore and honor. So 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:09.240 in many respects, he is what you expect from from 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:12.000 a mythological hero. You know, he's mighty warrior, he has 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.520 a sense of nobility, and he's sort of pushed into 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:18.200 tragic circumstances. Yeah, he's tough, he's brave, he's brutal, he 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:21.400 meets a tragic end right now, He's the He's a 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:24.760 central character in the Ulster cycle, one of the four 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.480 great cycles of medieval Irish myth and the This cycle 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:32.839 takes place in the first century Sea and was written 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:36.160 in Old and Middle Irish um. He also appears to 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:39.159 factor into a certain Scottish traditions as well, so but 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.080 largely Irish. So well, let's do the life story of 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:45.560 ko Holand. So he wasn't born ko Holand he was 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:50.600 born Satanta satantas his given name co Holand is more 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:55.320 like like kylel becomes Superman. Right, So he's the nephew 0:06:55.640 --> 0:07:00.920 of the Irish king King Connor, and is the offspring 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:05.320 of the union between Connor's sister and the god lug 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:08.960 we we Lug was mentioned in that dramatic reading earlier. 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.120 Lug is a member of the Chuatha di don and 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:17.800 the sort of spiritual god elf beings of of Irish 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:21.600 myth so like, So as with the likes to say 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:25.280 Achilles and Hercules, we have a hybrid on our hands here, 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:30.080 part human, part divine. And and he certainly looked like 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:33.320 a like a half divine creature. He has uh, he 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:37.240 has some some unnatural aspects to his appearance to definitely 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.160 line up with what you might expect from a demigod, 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:42.640 what like maybe a few too many of certain body parts. Yes, 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:47.040 for starters, he's just just unnaturally beautiful. He's a paragon 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:50.360 of masculine beauty and strength. And then he has seven 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:54.960 fingers on each hand, seven toes on each foot, and 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:59.240 then seven pupils in each eye, seven pupils in each other. Well, 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:02.080 that sounds like a aragon of beauty now, even as 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:05.120 a child, his exploits made him famous. And then King 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.440 Connor himself ends up bestowing the new name on him 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:12.280 Holland after he kills the great guard dog, the Hound 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:16.000 of Holland, Holland being a smith here with his bare 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:18.200 hands at a banquet, and so he has to take 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:21.320 on this new name as a penance. Yeah, Like after 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:24.160 he kills the smith's hound, he I think, offers to 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:27.440 serve himself as the guard of the smith's forge. Yeah, 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:29.960 and so now he is co Holand. And then you know, 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:33.120 at the end of that dramatic reading, he's referred to 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:36.040 as the Hound. So I'm thinking, because he's this paragon 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:38.240 of masculine beauty and strength, there's got to be like 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:41.280 a trend setting kind of thing that people just can't match. Right. 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.200 So it's the same way that after you have a 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:45.480 famous movie star he starts wearing a certain kind of 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.960 hairstyle or something. Now that's what's cool, and everybody wants 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.800 to do it. In this case, in first century Ireland, 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:54.200 everybody would want to have seven pupils in each eye. 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:57.480 And so that's what everybody's going to the local witches about. 0:08:57.520 --> 0:08:59.800 It's not like, you know, make me live forever, give 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:03.440 me huge strength, has give me seven pupils in each eye. Now. 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.480 Of course, as always when we're talking about mythology, it's 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:09.600 it's worth noting that, Um, you know, they're varying sources, 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:11.680 they're varying tellings, and some of the details are going 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.200 to change with the telling at the time. Yeah, they're 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:19.680 definitely very radically different accounts of Kohlan now. But so 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.000 we've arrived at this version of cohol and already he 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:27.600 is a beautiful, powerful warrior with some unnatural characteristics. But then, 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:30.480 but then he also has an additional superpower. But wait, 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:35.480 there's more. Yes, so he can essentially hulk out. It 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.120 is the thing he can. He can enter into a 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:41.040 berserker state during battle. But it's not just like a 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:45.160 mental state like it actually said, to twist and deform 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:49.720 his body as he becomes this just unreasonable killing machine. 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:55.680 The reastrade does this process. Yeah, and apparently apparently one 0:09:56.320 --> 0:10:01.920 Thomas Kinsella translated this state as the quote war spasm. 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:04.280 That sounds like something straight out of the X Men. Yeah, 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:08.199 it sounds it sounds rather chaotic. I definitely don't want 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.360 to be around a warrior when they were entering the 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:13.800 warp spasm. It sounds rather dangerous. All right, Well, we've 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:17.200 got another quote from the Cecil Rahalli translation of the 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.679 Timebo clung from the book of Leinster, and this is 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:24.840 about what happens in the warp spasm quote then occurred 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:29.080 to Holland's first distortion. He swelled and grew big as 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:33.280 a bladder does when inflated, and became a fearsome, terrible, 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:38.320 mini colored, strange arch and the valiant hero towered above 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:41.760 for dead, as big as a famore or a pirate. 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:44.640 And I think the famar you're you were saying, Robert 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:46.880 that that's like a giant of Irish mythology. It's like 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.880 a giant ogre type good type being from Irish myth 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.760 So like the Irish version of Yettenheim might be full 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:56.760 of these. Yeah, yeah, So so clearly Coo Holand is 0:10:56.800 --> 0:10:59.160 nobody to mess with, Like this is a this is 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:02.960 a terrifying force on the battlefield. Why why does the 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:06.640 author of this work they'll believe that pirates are gigantic? Yeah, 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:08.880 I don't know. I'm less sure on that one. So 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:13.160 co Holand fights bravely throughout his his military career. Um 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:16.520 he fights off the forces of Queen maybe at the 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:21.200 age of seventeen, uh believe virtually, like single handedly, like 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:25.679 he's that powerful warrior. But he's eventually tricked by warriors 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.640 in the employee of Mayve and slain at the age 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.800 of twenty seven. So not a long life. But then again, 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:36.920 you know you're an Irish warrior um during the first century. Uh, 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.760 there's not a long life expectancy there now. And they 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.680 kind of have to employ some trickery in order to 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:45.080 overcome his strength, which I think is a common feature 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.080 in like mythic hero cycles. You see that with like 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:50.840 Samson in uh in Jewish legend, and you sort of 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:52.800 see a version of it with Achilles, with like them 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:56.480 finding out his one weakness. And indeed there's basically like 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.480 a three part plan that has to be employed here. 0:11:58.600 --> 0:12:00.360 I mean that the first one being key. They trick 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:04.080 him into eating dog meat, which breaks a taboo and 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.640 weakens his spirit. Yeah. I read somewhere that this came 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:10.080 about by pitting two taboos against each other. Like there's 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.720 a taboo against refusing hospitality on one hand, but there's 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:16.280 also a taboo against eating dog meat. So what if 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:21.160 somebody shows you hospitality by offering you dog meat. You're caught. Yeah, 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:23.520 you're caught. You're there. That's a you know, as Scilla 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.360 and charyptus. Uh. So he had to pick, and he 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.240 picked not refusing hospitality, but he ate the dog meat, 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.760 and that that screwed him up. Now, the next thing 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:34.360 that helps if you're trying to take out a half 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:38.079 divine warrior is to have a divine weapon of your own, 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:40.880 a magical weapon of your own that will will help 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:43.920 you slay them. And so that's what the trio do here. 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:47.760 They hit him with a magical disemboweing spear that is 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.880 enchanted to kill kings. The apparently had three of these, 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:55.080 and they used too on his on his accomplices, including 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:57.880 the charioteer. It was like the King of Chariots, which 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.440 seems kind of like a a loop hole in the 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:02.560 whole king thing, Like you don't have to actually be 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:05.800 a king, you're just kind of quote unquote a king 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:08.480 of something. But ca Holan has like a really bad 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:10.840 dude moment here, Like he gets hit with the spear, 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.640 but he's like, I'm not going down that easy. Yeah, yeah, 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.599 he's not gonna die, uh like that, He's going to 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:20.640 die standing up fighting. So he like tucks his innerage 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:24.520 back into his body um and then like stumbles over 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:28.760 to a pillar lashes himself to the pillar so that 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.480 he can fight and die standing up, like they're gonna 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:33.920 have to come and take him on his feet. But okay, 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.480 so he's tied there, dying, and they got to be afraid, 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:39.280 right because co Holan is this this killing machine. Even 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:42.240 dying cut open with a with a kill spear tied 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.760 to a rock or a pillar, he's gonna be scary. 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:46.439 So they don't want to get too close. And I 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:49.280 think one source says that they had to wait until 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:52.520 a bird landed on him in order to know that 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.600 he had actually died. Yeah, and then they move in. 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:58.160 What do you do? You cut off his head to 0:13:58.200 --> 0:13:59.920 be sure. But when they cut off his head, there's 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:04.080 is brilliant light that like cuts off one of the 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.400 attackers a sword hands, I believe. And then it's not 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:11.280 until they cut off k holand sword arm that the 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.040 light dies away and that he's definitely dead. So it's 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:16.600 like you don't have there's one thing to cut away 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.320 the seat of reason from this mighty war. You also 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:22.720 have to cut away like the physical sword hand of 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:25.960 the warrior. There's a wonderful, like full telling of this 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:29.200 final battle of one in particular that I light came 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:35.040 from Lady Augusta Gregory um Uk Helen of Murrath Fimney 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:38.880 from nineteen o two. Uh, that's all online. I recommend 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:40.720 checking that out if you want the full blow by 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.680 blow death of ko Holand. So, how do we not 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.600 have a full kooh Holan movie? Yeah, it seems like 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.640 we should. I mean, how many Hercules movies do we have? Right? 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:53.000 Way too many? We could easily peel off some of 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:56.200 that money into the cah Holand enterprise here. Now, we 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.400 were talking before the episode about who to cast as 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.520 Coo holand we could not come up with good idea 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:02.960 because all of the best Irish actors we were thinking 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:05.400 of to cast as this Irish hero are now old. 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.400 But like Pierce Brosnan, Yeah, Pierce is right there in 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:13.040 his name. Yeah, but but sadly, like we said, he 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.800 died at twenty seven. You need you need a young, like, 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:22.040 powerful and imposing irishman who is also a really good actor. Yeah. 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:24.240 I think some of my favorite Irish actors. Let's see, 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:28.600 there's Uh, there's Brendan Gleeson. I guess he's older. Now 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:31.320 there's uh, I love Liam Cunningham, the guy who plays 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:34.960 Sir Davos on Game of Thrones. But I don't know. 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:36.640 I don't know who the young guy is. Yeah, I 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:38.520 don't know. Everybody can think of as too old, like 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:42.720 even you know, there's a thinking, well, maybe a professional wrestler. 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.160 I get a big muscle bound dude to play ko 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:48.680 Holand okay, there's there's a guy named Samus who's like 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:52.240 a big, pale Irish wrestler, but he's too old for 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.320 the part. Maybe he could play the hulked out version 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:57.360 of ko holand you could do kind of u you know, 0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:59.920 like the Incredible Hulk TV show. We had to loof 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.480 Rigno playing the the actual Hulk. Oh no, wait, this 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:05.600 has given me a great idea. Actually, like the main 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.640 normal ko holand before he hulks out, he should be 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:13.080 like super wafy, like a very very wafy, boyish, like 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:16.640 teen heartthrob kind of Irish actor. And then when he 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:19.160 hulks out, he gets replaced by the bodybuilder. Okay, I 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:23.040 like this so well. But maybe our Irish listeners especially, 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:25.920 we'll have some ideas about who who could be cast 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.960 in such a film. Are Irish listeners also, I'm sure 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.320 we're going to get in touch with us to let 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.640 us know how badly we're saying all these words. I'm sorry. 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:36.400 All right, Well, we're gonna take a break, but when 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:38.240 we come back, we're gonna get into the real meat 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:41.080 of this episode. We're going to talk about the the 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:46.160 unnatural death weapon of Ko holand we're gonna talk about, uh, 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:52.120 the guy Bolga. Thank alright, we're back. So every hero 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:56.040 needs a mighty weapon, and co Holand certainly had one 0:16:56.240 --> 0:17:00.240 in the guy Bolga like a weapon so mighty that 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:03.720 it is the It is the death weapon of last resort. 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.320 He only even turns to it if he's basically fighting 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.320 an opponent that is on his own level. Now, it 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:14.800 is not known exactly how to translate the term guy bulga. Right, 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.520 It's translated many different ways. I think we know that 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:22.119 guy basically means spear, right, But the bulga, there's questions 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:26.200 about what that means. Yeah, that's correct. Guy certainly means 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:30.720 spear or dart, But the bolga part is open to 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:33.639 some discussion. There's a particular text that we turn to 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:37.560 by by a writer by the name of Edward Pettit. 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.720 I'm not going to give you the full name of 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:42.880 that article because it will give away what we're gonna 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.000 get to in the later later portions of this episode. 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:46.640 We will say the name of the article. We will 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:49.120 say it and say it later. But he points out 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:53.800 that that the guy bolga has been translated as just 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:57.800 here's a sampling, the belly dart, the dart of belly, 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:03.280 barbed spear, spear of bella body spear, bagged spear, spear 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:08.320 of swelling uh, the spear of the sack, forked spear, 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:12.800 gapped spear, solar spear, the spear of mortal pain, the 0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:17.360 evil spear, spear of the lightning god, spear of the thunderbolt. 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:19.920 And he also adds that the bolga part has also 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:24.120 been interpreted to perhaps refer to an inflated bladder that one. 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.520 So essentially this would be a fishing spear, like one 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:31.080 would have tethered to something that floats. Oh, that's interesting. 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:34.560 And then likewise it's also been potentially connected to the 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:38.480 fair bolg Uh. These, according to to Carol Rose, the 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:43.720 folklores that often refer to when we're talking about mythological 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:46.960 creatures and monsters. She says that these were the mythic 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:50.919 first inhabitants of Ireland, defeated by the Tuatha deadon and 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:54.080 then driven into mountain caves and forests where they became 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:58.840 loathsome monsters. So possible connection there as well. But okay, 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:03.159 whatever bul a means, they're bellows bulge whatever. We know 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:05.560 that there's some kind of special magic spear. So how 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:07.439 does it work? What does it do? Well? One of 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.960 one of the things is that co Holand alone knows 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:13.320 how to really wield the weapon, you know, I mean 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:16.440 he he is taught depends it depends on which version 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:19.400 you're reading. He's either taught by a god or by 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:23.360 you know, a skilled master, and he alone has mastery 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:26.320 of the guy Bolga. But it is again, it is 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:31.520 a spear, a weapon that you only turn to as 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.760 like basically just a last resort. And also if you're 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:39.160 just really willing to absolutely murder your opponent. I'm sorry, 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:42.160 I'm just suddenly reminded of one of those newspaper articles 0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:44.920 from the nineteen twenties that we quoted in our death 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.959 Ray episode of Invention, where the guy was like, the 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:51.680 death ray is mine and only I can have it. Yeah, 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:54.119 this was his death ray in a sense. Now, in 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:58.919 that fantastic reading at the top of the episode, that 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:03.560 story of from the cattle raid of Kolong. Uh. That 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:06.760 really gives you some of the key attributes of the 0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:10.280 weapon here. So it is brought to coholand via a stream. 0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:12.600 His charity here puts it in a stream and it 0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:16.199 like floats down to him, and then it is cast 0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:19.199 by the foot, so he picks it up with his 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:23.159 seven toed foot and casts it. Thus Lee aims it 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:26.000 with his seven people die right and uh. And then 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:28.960 also in that telling we see that it pierces his 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:33.119 opponent through the anus, which is not a detail that 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:37.080 is present in every telling of this story, but it 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:40.000 is there. Uh. And part of it has to do 0:20:40.040 --> 0:20:41.840 with the fact that his like, you know, these are 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:45.239 two you know, former friends, you know that. I mean, 0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:48.920 they're still friends, but they're they're battling each other, and 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:52.640 and they each have sort of magical abilities, you know. Uh. 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:55.960 So coholand alone has the mastery of this u fabulous 0:20:56.000 --> 0:20:59.160 barbed weapon. And then his opponent has his horn skin 0:20:59.280 --> 0:21:02.639 that protects most to his body but not the the anus. 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.359 So you might say that Ford it has an achilles heel, 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.879 and it is his anus. It's his achilles anus. So 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:11.440 maybe instead of saying achilles heel, from now on, we 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:14.960 should substitute for dead Zanies. It's going to be challenging 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:17.960 to drop that into just casual conversation. I'm gonna I'm 0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:21.000 gonna dart Well dry Robert for the rest of my 0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:25.679 life for dead zanis. Alright. So that that that Edward 0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:29.520 pettit Um article that we mentioned earlier, and I believe 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:32.720 this is Edward G. Pettit from the Sale University, who 0:21:32.760 --> 0:21:36.320 is apparently something of an Edgar Allan Poe expert and 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:40.160 a monster expert I'm reading, uh teaches classes on vampire 0:21:40.560 --> 0:21:44.080 literature and so forth. But he drives home that there 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:48.080 are several key attributes that are that are generally consistent 0:21:48.119 --> 0:21:51.119 in the various tellings here. So first of all, only 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:55.800 Helen can wield the guy bowl Gay here he alone 0:21:55.880 --> 0:21:59.000 was taught it's it's martial art, and the teacher varies 0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:02.280 from immortal to a see god. Okay. Another thing he 0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:05.439 mentions is that it's sort of a single use weapon, 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:09.800 right right, you get one shot. Now that being said, 0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:11.680 I don't think he ever misses with the thing, or 0:22:11.720 --> 0:22:13.399 at least I have not read the story where he 0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:16.520 busted out and misses like accidentally hits I don't know 0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:20.000 nearby bird in the an s instead right. Um. Also, 0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:22.760 it's sometimes sent to him by water, such as in 0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:26.400 our opening story there it's it is like it traveled 0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:29.640 down a stream to him, but it doesn't just appear 0:22:29.720 --> 0:22:32.479 in the context of water. He also it's like thrown 0:22:32.760 --> 0:22:36.760 from below the water. So it's also it is a 0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:40.159 fearsome weapon, so for deed or special armor in an 0:22:40.200 --> 0:22:42.840 attempt to protect himself from it. And you know, it's 0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:45.919