1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: All right, Joel, I've got a frugal or cheap for 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: you here before we kick off this besty episode. You're 3 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: ready for it, ready. So it's summer. We are getting 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,319 Speaker 1: to the end of our time that we had our 5 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,959 Speaker 1: season pass for six Flags and White Water, two theme 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,479 Speaker 1: parks here in Atlanta, and we went recently. You know. 7 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: It's just it's like one of those classic summer things 8 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:24,160 Speaker 1: to do here in Atlanta, and we purchased one refillable 9 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: drink container. They've got these drink things where you can 10 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: fill them an unlimited number of times, but they're expensive, 11 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 1: like a thirty dollars container. Yeah, twenty three of twenty three, 12 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: twenty four, and I was like, wait a minute, you 13 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: can just have one and just refill it an unlimited 14 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: number of times. Since I told Cap, I'm just gonna 15 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: go get one of these jokers and our family of 16 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: six we're going to share. That's one drink container. And 17 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: so we were there for hours filling it up. We 18 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: were there all day and we were constantly refilling that thing. 19 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: But I'm curious, what are your thoughts frugal or cheap 20 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: to take? Take that path? Would you have spent twenty 21 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: three dollars or would you have spent forty six or even. 22 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 2: More now, I mean I probably would have tried to 23 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 2: take the r rat. Yeah, and some of our listeners 24 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 2: might think it's ridiculous, but gosh, that is expensive, and 25 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 2: that's it's expensive, dude. And that's exactly I think they're 26 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 2: assuming a lot of people are gonna do that when 27 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 2: they you know, when they drop charge that much money 28 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 2: for some sort of refillable. 29 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: Beverage coup they do think that, which is why so 30 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 1: the ones that you could it's a self serve kiosk. Yeah, 31 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 1: there's actually a chip in the bottom of the cup, 32 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 1: and yeah, it's supposed to limit how often you're able 33 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: to refill it. I think you're only allowed to refill 34 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,399 Speaker 1: it like every thirty minutes or something. Oh interesting that 35 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: being said, if you just walk up to a window 36 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: where they also refill them, they just take it and 37 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: refill it for you. 38 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,759 Speaker 2: So we did a lot more of that. Man even 39 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,319 Speaker 2: got to work the system a little bit. The cups 40 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 2: are getting technologically shaving. 41 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: No so literally, there's like I think it's the RFID, 42 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: the radio frequency ID chip in the bottom of the cups. 43 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: You set it down, it knows that there's a cup 44 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: there that's legit, uh, and it allows you to fill 45 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: it up, but if it has registered the fact that, 46 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: oh no, you've got to drink thirty seconds ago, and 47 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: your kid just chugged that coke like there's no tomorrow, 48 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: which is dude. My kids were like bouncing off the 49 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 1: wall because we never we never drink soda and coke 50 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: and that is all I mean, that's all they have. 51 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 1: It's either lemonade or Powery. Those were the least sugar 52 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: leaden drinks that I mean that I guess we were 53 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: opting for. 54 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 2: That's a good way to prohibit consumption too, right where 55 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 2: it's like, Harry, how you gonna have a little. But 56 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 2: guess what, we're all sharing this thing, and so if 57 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: you get your own forty two ounce beverage, you know 58 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 2: that that's just that's just asking for diabetes. So I 59 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 2: felt like we were all, yeah, whatever the pre diabetes. 60 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 2: But yeah, I was curious. 61 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,839 Speaker 1: I was definitely wondering if I was taking the cheap 62 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: path because when I said, when I told Kate I 63 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 1: was just gonna get one, she kind. 64 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 2: Of rolled her eyes. 65 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: Of course you are, she knew how we roll. But 66 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 1: so our episode today though, our bestI episode, because Joel, 67 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: you and your family, our family were actually at the beach. 68 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,959 Speaker 2: And by the way, no more bestI starting. 69 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: I know, I had a lot. 70 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 2: Sorry, we've been moving. I've been moving back into my house. 71 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 2: We've been at We're the Beast this this week, and 72 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 2: so this is an actual vacation that we had actually planned, 73 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,959 Speaker 2: whereas the Yeah, some of the other ones, we just 74 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 2: realized that we were not going to be able to 75 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 2: record ahead enough. But next week back to normal. 76 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: That being said, though, the Besties that we've been able 77 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: to re air, I think are they are They're They're 78 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: really good. And there's a reason that we're choosing these 79 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: specific ones because we feel that the content that's being 80 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 1: delivered with these episodes is definitely worth hearing again or 81 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: for a lot of listeners out there who haven't been 82 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: with us for that long, we think these are the 83 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: episodes that you need to be hearing. So this episode, 84 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: we hear from gorick ing about the unspoken rules of 85 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: career success. There are all these things that aren't formally 86 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: taught in school, and we kind of talk through what 87 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: it takes to get ahead. We talk about some of 88 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: the softer skills that are required to advance in your career. 89 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 2: Let's hear it. Welcome to Hat of Money. I'm Joel 90 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 2: and I am Matt, and today we're talking the Unspoken 91 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 2: rules of career success with gorek Ing. 92 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: Getting ahead in life and succeeding in your career depends 93 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: on just a lot more than doing a great job. 94 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: Just because you're a competent software engineer or nurse or 95 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 1: whatever it is that you do, that doesn't mean that 96 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 1: you will automatically climb the ranks and see your salary 97 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: increase with promotions, with additional responsibility. And that's because there 98 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: are things that managers and things that bosses expect but 99 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: they never explain to you. This is the basis for 100 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: gorick Ing's best selling book, The Unspoken Rules Secrets to 101 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,680 Speaker 1: Starting your Career off Right. Gorick is a career advisor 102 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: at Harvard focusing on coaching first generation low income students. 103 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: But then before that, he gained plenty of professional experience 104 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 1: from working in management, consulting, investment banking, and as a 105 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: researcher with the Harvard Business School. But regardless of your 106 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: specific job, we're excited to discuss the different unspoken ways 107 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: that you can find success in your career. Gorick, thank 108 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: you for joining us today on the podcast. 109 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 3: Joel Matt, thanks so much for having me. Thrilled to beer. 110 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, we're thrilled to have you go, Rick, and Yeah, 111 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 2: this is gonna be really, I think, a really interesting conversation. 112 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 2: Your research and your history are just going to make 113 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 2: for a really like Yeah, there's a lot of good 114 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 2: stuff to cover here today. But before we get into 115 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 2: some of that stuff, I want to know Matt and 116 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 2: I we like craft beer, as you know, and it 117 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 2: is something that we spend a decent bit of money 118 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 2: on in the here now while trying to save and 119 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 2: invest well for the future. So, yeah, do you have 120 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,280 Speaker 2: something like that in your life, a splurge that you make, 121 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 2: you're making while you're also prioritizing putting some money away 122 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 2: in your savings account or and also like in those 123 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 2: investment accounts. 124 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 3: It has to be ice cream chunky away. I like 125 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 3: to work for my ice cream, so it needs to 126 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,719 Speaker 3: be chunky, need to put in some effort for it 127 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 3: to go down. 128 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: What do you mean that you like a favorite brand 129 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: or something like that. Yeah, you said it needs to 130 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: be chunky. What do you mean that's like moose tracks 131 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: or what? 132 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, like moose tracks, anything that I need to chew 133 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 3: onky funny Funny you say, what does chunky mean? Because 134 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 3: I've actually gotten that question from a number of I've never. 135 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: Heard ice cream described as chunky before, but you're talking 136 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: about in the beer world, they call them adjuncks. So 137 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: all the additional bits of candy or chocolate, moose tracks, butterfinger, 138 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. That's I guess that's what you're 139 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 1: looking for in your ice cream. 140 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. And maybe I'm in search of a new 141 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 3: adjective then, because I've been confusing a lot of people 142 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 3: with my used to the word chunky. 143 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 1: Well, I guess it's the opposite of Down here, we've 144 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,040 Speaker 1: got a lot of Chick fil A's and ice Dream 145 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: is the ice cream that they serve, and it's just 146 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 1: a super smooth, very creamy. 147 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 2: Taste, like the hand churned stuff that your grandmother is 148 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:47,720 Speaker 2: it does. 149 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's kind of cut like that, like a 150 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: old school homemade flavor going on with it. But Greg, 151 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 1: it's funny that you mentioned that, because I guess it 152 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,280 Speaker 1: was a couple of months ago we talked with Clark Howard, 153 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: and he also that's his splurge. He's trying to them 154 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: up and the top dollar on really nice ice cream. 155 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 1: So you too, ot to get together do a little 156 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: tour of the country and visit all the best ice 157 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: cream spots. Yeah, but Gary, we want to dig into 158 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: your background just a little bit before we kind of 159 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: start talking about your book, your career Expertise. It basically 160 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: started when you were pretty young, at the age of fourteen. 161 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: Can you share that story with us? 162 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 3: Sounds good, Yeah, it's kind of weird that it all 163 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 3: began back when most of us, I certainly were focused 164 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 3: on playing video games more so than building our careers. 165 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 3: Where I was fourteen years old and my mom, who 166 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 3: is a single mother, came home with a pink slip 167 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 3: and it said that she was laid off from the 168 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 3: sewing machine factory job that she had held since she 169 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 3: was twelve years old. And I, as the person in 170 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 3: the house who knew how to speak English and get 171 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 3: onto the internet, became the person to step up. And 172 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 3: so I ended up spending recesses learning to write resumes 173 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 3: and cover letters, afternoons at the public library looking for jobs, 174 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 3: and evenings coaching my mom. I put very thick, italicized 175 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 3: bolded quotes around coach. It was really the blind leaving 176 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 3: the blind there. We applied to hundreds of jobs and 177 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 3: didn't end up getting any callbacks, where my mom ended 178 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 3: up actually returning to school, getting an early childcare assistant certificate, 179 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 3: and so things worked out. But it was that experience 180 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 3: that led to me wondering what was I missing? How 181 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 3: could I, as someone who did well in school, who 182 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 3: saw myself as resourceful, not be able to help my 183 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 3: mom get back on her feet. And it took a 184 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 3: number of years for me to find the answer. And 185 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 3: it actually took a few experiences after that to find 186 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 3: the answer, one of which came in high school where 187 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 3: I met a student from another school who had applied 188 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 3: to Yale University and had gotten in, and over the 189 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 3: course of getting to know her and having her take 190 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 3: me under her wings, I learned that getting into college 191 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 3: required a lot more than just tossing over an essay 192 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,679 Speaker 3: and hoping for the best. There was a certain style 193 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 3: of essay that people were expecting. There's a certain way 194 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 3: of holding your hands your teacher's hands through the admissions process, 195 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 3: the recommendation process that no one really tells you about. 196 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 3: And these unspoken rules, as I call them now, ended 197 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 3: up working. I ended up becoming the first of my 198 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 3: family to go to Harvard to go to college in general, 199 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 3: but was lucky enough to have gotten into Harvard as 200 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 3: an undergraduate. And when I was at Harvard, it was 201 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 3: the first time that I was within such close proximity 202 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 3: to so many people who could call their parents, doctors 203 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 3: and lawyers and senators, people that I would read about 204 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 3: in the newspapers but didn't even know I could interact with. 205 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 3: And over the course of getting to know these classmates 206 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 3: and friends, started realizing that there's really this informal curriculum 207 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 3: that some of us end up getting over the dinner 208 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 3: table from our parents, mentors, siblings, that many more of us, 209 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 3: folks from my background, for example, end up never getting 210 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 3: and end up having to learn through trial and error 211 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 3: and so over the course of my early career and 212 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 3: to this day, I started reflecting on, Wow, well, what 213 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 3: responsibility do I have to hopefully pay a smoother path 214 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 3: for people coming after me? 215 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: And that all. 216 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 3: Has led to me writing this book and hoping to 217 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 3: spend the next stretch of my career paving a smoother 218 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 3: path for people coming after me. 219 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, in your book you actually say that there are 220 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 2: insiders and outsiders, even in like the prestigious world of 221 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 2: a college like Harvard, and you felt like an outsider. 222 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 2: So why was that? What were those what was causing 223 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,239 Speaker 2: those feelings? 224 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was this feeling of looking left looking right, 225 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 3: almost as if it were a middle school dance, and 226 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 3: seeing everyone grooving on the dance floor and looking left 227 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,640 Speaker 3: looking right and standing there awkwardly being like, there's something 228 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 3: I'm missing here. 229 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 2: And I got to say, I totally identify with that 230 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 2: because that sounds like exactly what happened to me in 231 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 2: seventh grade. 232 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 1: So you and I both, so y'all just did there awkwardly, 233 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: and me and my friend Javier were just playing tag 234 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: where the idiot sixth grader is that Everyone was just like, 235 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 1: what are you doing? This is the day. 236 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 3: It happens on a regular basis at a higher education institution. 237 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 3: It happens all the time in the workplace, and it 238 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 3: manifests itself in the form of in college, for example, 239 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 3: some students really knowing how to navigate the system and 240 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 3: building good relationship with their professors, knowing how to navigate 241 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 3: recruiting events and job fairs and getting jobs that aren't 242 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 3: even advertised. And then in the workplace, you have some 243 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 3: folks who put their heads down and work hard and 244 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 3: wonder why they're not getting that promotion or that high 245 00:11:56,040 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 3: profile project. Meanwhile, someone else who may be working less 246 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 3: hard or less or are less competent, end up getting 247 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 3: all that visibility. It's not a matter of what you know. 248 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 3: It's a matter of who you know, and it's not 249 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 3: a matter of whether you're just simply fulfilling the job 250 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 3: description that you've been assigned. But it's about how you 251 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,239 Speaker 3: go above and beyond in these unspoken, unwritten ways. 252 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, and even still like you endured some real hardships 253 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: growing up, and yeah, like you said, it wasn't the 254 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: smoothest path for you to get where you are now, 255 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: even though you were a hard worker. You know, we're 256 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: talking about these unspoken rules, Like it's almost as if 257 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: like you were learning proper etiquette. It's not something that 258 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:38,240 Speaker 1: it's necessarily directly taught, but it's something that sometimes folks 259 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 1: are able to learn either secondhand, or they see it demonstrated, 260 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: or there's somebody else in their life that is able 261 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 1: to kind of mentor them or shepherd them. But yeah, 262 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,559 Speaker 1: like I don't know. The more we kind of dove 263 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 1: int your book, I was just like, man, this really 264 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 1: feels like being taught like manners or just proper etiquette, 265 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 1: or like Southern etiquette or something different that isn't as 266 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: widespread as you would expect. Yeah. 267 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 3: And the thing about so many of these unspoken rules 268 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 3: is they can come across as common sense. And I've 269 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 3: gotten that feedback from some people who would say, why 270 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,079 Speaker 3: are you just writing down common sense? And it actually 271 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 3: led to a point where I was contemplating the subtitle 272 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 3: of the book and one of the options of like 273 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 3: a couple dozen was common sense. That's only common sense 274 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 3: looking back, And that's how I feel about so many 275 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 3: of these rules. 276 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's yeah, that's interesting some of them, Like when 277 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 2: I'm reading them, I'm like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, 278 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 2: that makes sense intuitively to me. But you're probably right 279 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 2: part of it is because of like the water x whaymen, 280 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 2: like how I grew up. 281 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 1: Well, I think it probably too depends on just the 282 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: kind of work that you're doing. I think there might 283 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: be certain professions, certain fields where maybe interacting with other 284 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,839 Speaker 1: folks isn't as important. So there maybe there is less 285 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: reading people's emotions or understanding communication style, different things like that, 286 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: And maybe it might only be about the work. But 287 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: I think as our world evolves, it's clear that it's 288 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 1: not just about doing really good work. You have to 289 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: be able to integrates into these systems and to do 290 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: that well in. 291 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 2: Order to be successful. Yeah, and go rek. Now you 292 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,680 Speaker 2: help first generation low income students so that they don't 293 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 2: have to go through trial and error scenarios, right, like 294 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 2: some of the ones that you went through in your life. 295 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 2: And what would you say, like, are navigating these unspoken 296 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 2: rules like the biggest hurdles that they face when it 297 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 2: comes to succeeding in the workplace. 298 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd say the unspoken rules are a big piece. 299 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 3: I'd say another piece is around confidence and a sentence 300 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 3: I often find myself saying to first gend, low income 301 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 3: college students and those who are coming from underrepresented backgrounds, 302 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 3: is that there's a difference between confidence and competence. Where 303 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 3: competence is how much you know and can do. Confidence 304 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 3: is how much you think you know and can do 305 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 3: and you need both. Where I often hear stories of 306 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 3: people and I was certainly in the situation myself where 307 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 3: you're in a meeting and you have this idea that 308 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 3: you want to bring up, but you're thinking to yourself 309 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 3: and you have a self talk of is this a 310 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 3: stupid comment? Or is this common sense? And so you're 311 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 3: debating with yourself constantly about is it even worth raising 312 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 3: this idea? And five minutes later, someone else says the 313 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 3: exact same thing and gets all the credit. In those situations, 314 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 3: I've certainly found myself in this situation a fair bit 315 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 3: and I start realizing, wait a sec is it the 316 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 3: case that this actually was a smarter comment than I 317 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 3: had thought, and or this other person may just have 318 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 3: lower expectations than I do for what makes a smart comment, 319 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 3: And in having lower standards they ended up getting all 320 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 3: the credit and getting ahead. That's the difference between competence 321 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 3: and confidence. 322 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's almost as if overthinking it can just yeah sometimes. Yeah. 323 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 1: How many of these unspoken rules do you think have 324 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: to do with just cultural differences between whether it be 325 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: just the different backgrounds that families have or where individuals 326 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 1: are raised. In the United States, that's a big one 327 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: for sure. And I would say that these unspoken rules 328 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 1: are becoming more and more important as companies have more 329 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 1: global teams and are hiring folks from very different backgrounds, 330 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:24,119 Speaker 1: where some of these cultural norms may not have permeated 331 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,520 Speaker 1: the waters in the same way that they may have 332 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 1: permeated the waters for these so called insiders. And so 333 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: when I think of working cultures across geographies, certainly there 334 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: are some that are more hierarchical, where you speak when 335 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: spoken to. There are others that are less hierarchical, where 336 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 1: you're expected to speak up, contribute, disagree with your manager, 337 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 1: and in fact disagreement is encouraged and rewarded. And then 338 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: they're also as I think about my Asian upbringing, for example, 339 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 1: certainly there's this unspoken norm or hidden expectation that you'd 340 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: respect your elders, and when someone who is higher ranking, older, 341 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: more experienced, is speaking, you'd wait your turn, and you'd 342 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 1: not only just wait your turn, but you'd withhold your 343 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: comments until you're called upon, if you are even called upon. 344 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 1: And so there is some unlearning and relearning. That's not 345 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 1: to say that there's a right or wrong way of 346 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,400 Speaker 1: doing things. To your point, it's very much a matter 347 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,439 Speaker 1: of cultural differences. Where in American working culture. Because of 348 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: this difference between confidence and competence, the people who make 349 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 1: it up to the top aren't necessarily the most competent. 350 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:46,360 Speaker 1: They might just be the most confident. And so there 351 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: is this phenomenon where the system as it stands, at 352 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: least in American corporate life, doesn't always reward people for 353 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 1: the characteristics that organizations really care about. 354 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,160 Speaker 2: Interesting, well, we want to talk more about the unspoken 355 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 2: rules and get into some of what they are and 356 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 2: talk about how you can think about those so that 357 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,160 Speaker 2: you can improve your work habits inside of the place 358 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,640 Speaker 2: where you're working. And we'll get to ask some more 359 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:27,719 Speaker 2: questions with gorek about that right after this break. All right, 360 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 2: we are back. 361 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:32,400 Speaker 1: We're speaking with gorick Ing about his book The Unspoken 362 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 1: Rules of Career Success as our topic today and growic 363 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 1: your book is it's kind of a how to guide. 364 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 1: There are things like we like we said earlier that 365 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 1: like managers expect you to implicitly know, but many of 366 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: these things are never explicitly taught. In your first chapter 367 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: in your book, it's all about the three c's. You've 368 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 1: already mentioned one of them, which is competence, but the 369 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 1: other ones are commitment, and compatibility. You sort of introduced 370 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 1: this us to the framework for the book, and so 371 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: why do you feel that it is just so important 372 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,919 Speaker 1: to prove yourself in all three of these areas? Specifically, Yeah, it's. 373 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 3: Because when we show up in the workplace and I 374 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 3: define workplace as in an interview, in your first day 375 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:14,400 Speaker 3: in a new role, and frankly thereafter until you retire, 376 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 3: the people around you, your clients, partners, managers, coworkers, they're 377 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,920 Speaker 3: sizing you up and they're asking themselves three questions. Question 378 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 3: one is can you do this job well? Which is competence. 379 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 3: Question two is are you excited to be here? Which 380 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,919 Speaker 3: is commitment? And question three is do we get along? 381 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 3: Which is compatibility? Competence, commitment, compatibility. The three c's your job, frankly, 382 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 3: all of our jobs, it's to convince the people around 383 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 3: us to answer yes to all three questions all the time. 384 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:56,119 Speaker 3: And I'll maybe augment my statement earlier by saying that 385 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 3: supposedly the three c's count in the realm of dating 386 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 3: as well. So it may not just be a workplace concept. 387 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 3: Could it potentially be a life concept. That's something that's 388 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,359 Speaker 3: a more recent shower thought for you. 389 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 2: Now, yeah, I feel like, actually I heard you refer 390 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 2: to like marriage advice and how building compatibility with coworkers 391 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:20,399 Speaker 2: can be similar to building compatibility inside of like a 392 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,520 Speaker 2: long term partnership, Like, yeah, do you think there's some 393 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 2: similarities there? 394 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm thrilled you're mentioning this because this is actually 395 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 3: one of my favorite ideas from the book, even though 396 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 3: I don't spend all that much time talking about it. 397 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 3: It's this idea of bids, which is an idea that 398 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 3: was created by a psychologist and a marriage expert named 399 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 3: doctor John Gottman. Doctor John Gottman observed couples that stay 400 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 3: together and have happy marriages and compared them to couples 401 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 3: who end up separating. And his question was what separates 402 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 3: those who stay together from those who separate? And he 403 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 3: found that the lowest common denominator it was something called bids. 404 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 3: Where I'll illustrate it with an example where if your 405 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 3: significant other says something like I'm hungry, and let's say 406 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 3: you're driving down the freeway, You've got three options. You 407 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,880 Speaker 3: can either pull off at the McDonalds just one right, Yeah, exactly, 408 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 3: you can ignore the bid, so just keep driving, pretend 409 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 3: as if they didn't say anything. Or the third one 410 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 3: is you can smack down that bid and you can 411 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 3: say didn't you just eat? Or aren't you trying to 412 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 3: lose weight? 413 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,160 Speaker 2: Oh, don't do that one. 414 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,199 Speaker 3: And as you might be able to guess there's a 415 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:39,400 Speaker 3: right answer to this question, I suspect that you all 416 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 3: are thinking of the right answer now, But just to 417 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,439 Speaker 3: toss it back to you, what's your guess? 418 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,680 Speaker 1: Well, I'm guessing it's like, yeah, what're you feeling like? Yeah, 419 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: likef and grabbing something, or I'm like very like analytical. 420 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 1: It's like, all right, are you hungry in like the 421 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,159 Speaker 1: next ten minutes? Hungry? Are you talking in like the 422 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: next two hours? You can run along trip, you know, 423 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: sometimes you just want to make good time. 424 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 2: Or you might be like I brought a granola bar, 425 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,040 Speaker 2: it's in my backpack, let me grab. 426 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 3: A Yeah exactly. So I can already tell that you're 427 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 3: in positive relationship territory, because according to this research, the 428 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,880 Speaker 3: right answer is to recognize the bid, which you both 429 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,199 Speaker 3: have done, and to positively embrace this bid, which you 430 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 3: have also both done. And this is what is the 431 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,879 Speaker 3: lowest common denominator to what makes for a happy relationship 432 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 3: and marriage, and yes, this is a marriage concept, but 433 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 3: as I think about relationship building more broadly and career 434 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 3: building more broadly, I think we can translate this idea 435 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 3: of bidding into the workplace, where every email, every meeting 436 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,919 Speaker 3: that you're invited to, every exchange of eye contact, that 437 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 3: too is a bid. It's an invitation. It's a hidden 438 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:51,359 Speaker 3: opportunity for you to step up, build a relationship that 439 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 3: may not have otherwise existed, make an impact, and potentially 440 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 3: grow your career. And so this bidding idea is one 441 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 3: that I've been thinking about a lot because and maybe 442 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 3: this comes back to the first generation low income college 443 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 3: students that I advise at Harvard, where I can't help 444 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 3: but think that we all, over the course of our lives, 445 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 3: are almost walking down a similar art gallery together, and 446 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 3: we're all looking at the same painting, but we're coming 447 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 3: to two different conclusions around what this painting depicts. One 448 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 3: of us could see this painting and see the boats 449 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 3: in the foreground or the sunset in the background. Someone 450 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 3: else could see the trees in the distance. And I 451 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,400 Speaker 3: think of this walking down an art gallery slash observing 452 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 3: a painting comparison as apt for real life because over 453 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 3: the course of our everyday lives, we're going to be 454 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 3: faced with so many bids, so many opportunities. But it 455 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 3: takes a special mindset and awareness to be able to 456 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 3: recognize these bids and to embrace these bids. That's the 457 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,960 Speaker 3: key to getting in and getting ahead. 458 00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 1: That's going to be the key to working with others, especially. 459 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess if you're constantly slamming down, yeah, 460 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,440 Speaker 1: that's not gonna go well, doesn't lead to very good teamwork. 461 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,840 Speaker 1: And maybe if you're working by yourself, that's something that 462 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 1: you don't have to consider quite as much. But certainly, yeah, 463 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: if you're working with a partner or working on a team, 464 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 1: you got to keep that in mind. Go Rick, one 465 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 1: of the unspoken rules that you mentioned in your book proactivity, 466 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,200 Speaker 1: What does that look like? Why is this so important 467 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,960 Speaker 1: when it comes to getting ahead in your career? 468 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. 469 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 3: Well, for the early career folks. I like to say 470 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:33,160 Speaker 3: that school is about keeping up, so not procrastinating, whereas 471 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 3: work in life is about stepping up. It's about going 472 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 3: the extra mile. It's about looking around corners. It's about 473 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 3: asking how can I be helpful and then ultimately being 474 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 3: helpful and when it comes to getting ahead in the workplace, 475 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 3: whether you're striving for a promotion, more important responsibilities, the 476 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 3: respect of your coworkers, better relationships, and expanded network. So 477 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 3: much of this comes down to not just being reactive 478 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 3: but proactive, So being the person that says, hey, I 479 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 3: noticed this, how can I be helpful? Or I noticed this? 480 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 3: How we considered that? Or Hey, I was thinking about 481 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 3: options A, B and C. I was thinking of B. 482 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,200 Speaker 3: What do you think which is a very different way 483 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 3: of interacting with your coworkers compared to saying, Hey, Joel, Matt, 484 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 3: what do I do next, in which case a lot 485 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 3: of managers will say, well, what do you think You. 486 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,680 Speaker 2: Kind of want to have that be able to offer 487 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 2: up a solution from the get. 488 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 3: Go, right, And it is one of these unspoken norms 489 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 3: in the workplace where these high performers at work are 490 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 3: ones who aren't just going to their managers and co 491 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 3: workers with problems, but are coming to the table with 492 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 3: proposals and solutions. 493 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. A part of being proactive is thinking ahead and 494 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,120 Speaker 2: having the ability to tell your own story and tell 495 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 2: it well. And you kind of talk about that in 496 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 2: the book Why do you feel like that is so important, 497 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 2: and especially some of us maybe we're raised in cultures 498 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,399 Speaker 2: where talking about ourselves was something that was frowned on. 499 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,919 Speaker 2: It's always like you're always defecting. But you have to 500 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 2: be able to talk about yourself. 501 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 3: Well, right, yes, And it's the first question you'll get 502 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 3: in every interview, which is, tell me about yourself. 503 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 1: As they're sitting down in the chair, tell me about yourself. 504 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 1: I can see the hiring manager right now, exactly. 505 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 3: And it's a nerve wracking question because if you just 506 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,719 Speaker 3: take it at face value, which I did, and so 507 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 3: many students that I advise still do, which is okay, 508 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,000 Speaker 3: tell you about myself. So do you want to know 509 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 3: about my hometown? Are you asking about my hobbies? What 510 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 3: I ate for breakfast this morning? It's this ambiguous question, 511 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 3: but there is an unspoken way of answering this question, 512 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 3: which is in the form of what's called the hero's journey, 513 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 3: which is a concept by Joseph Campbell where he looked 514 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 3: at the tales that have lasted the test of time, 515 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,679 Speaker 3: and he's looked at you know, the Anakin skywalkers of 516 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 3: the world, the Harry Potters of the world, the Mulins 517 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 3: of the world, et cetera. And all of these heroes 518 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 3: and heroines, they have a past, a present in a 519 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,160 Speaker 3: future where there's a spark that led to this journey. 520 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,480 Speaker 3: Starting in the first place, there's a journey that this 521 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 3: hero or heroine goes down of slaying dragons and hopping 522 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,919 Speaker 3: over fire pits, all in the interest of pursuing some 523 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 3: broader goal. And when people are asking tell me about yourself, 524 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 3: they're actually in some ways asking for your hero's journey, 525 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,879 Speaker 3: where they're asking you to say something like, you know, 526 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:43,920 Speaker 3: I've always been interested in climate change as someone who 527 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 3: grew up in a coastal community. I saw my dad, 528 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 3: who was a fisherman, struggle to meet his quota season 529 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,919 Speaker 3: after season after season, and over the course of growing 530 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:04,399 Speaker 3: up and pursuing a degree in environmental science, I started 531 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 3: realizing that, Wow, it's not just an issue that my 532 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 3: dad is facing, but it's a problem that all of 533 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 3: humanity is and will be facing. So as I think 534 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 3: about what I'd like to do in the future, I'd 535 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 3: love to combine my interest in environmentalism with my training 536 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 3: in data science to be able to help the world 537 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:28,400 Speaker 3: make more data driven decisions around how to navigate this crisis. 538 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 3: So I just totally made that up. My dad is 539 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 3: not a fisherman. But when I just think. 540 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 2: Together these different bits and pieces of your life that 541 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 2: help tell a story, and I think sometimes it takes 542 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 2: a little it takes some forethought on the front end 543 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,840 Speaker 2: before you get into that interview to be able to 544 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 2: tell that story well, because otherwise it's just bits and pieces, 545 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 2: it's fragments, and you want to be able to weave 546 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 2: it together. 547 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,960 Speaker 3: Right, exactly exactly, So what I think of, of course, 548 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 3: you don't want to sound all two canned, yeah, and 549 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 3: as if you're reading off a script. So what I 550 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 3: like to do is just have a collection of stories 551 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 3: in my mind where these are as I think about 552 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 3: the other more common questions you'll get it's tell me 553 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 3: about a time when right, it's tell me about a 554 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 3: time when you had conflict in the workplace, or tell 555 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 3: me about a time when you had to step up, 556 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 3: or tell me about a time when you had to 557 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 3: own a project from start to finish. Well, all of 558 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 3: those things are in some ways also as asking for 559 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 3: your hero's journey. So having a bank of what sparked 560 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 3: your interest, what you've done to further this interest, and 561 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 3: where you'd like to combine things. Going forward can help 562 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 3: you almost pull ingredients out of the fridge to cook 563 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 3: up a dish depending on whatever people want to eat. 564 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we kind of are talking about thinking ahead 565 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: here a little bit, Grek. It seems like so much 566 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: of excelling out work and getting the job done is 567 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 1: thinking ahead. It's amazing. You know what feeling prepared that 568 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 1: can do for a meeting or a check in with 569 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 1: your boss? And so can you share some examples you 570 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 1: talk about this in your book. Can you share some 571 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,080 Speaker 1: examples of what thinking ahead could look like for employees? 572 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 3: Yeah? The first one, as I think about meetings is 573 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 3: to mentally rehearse meetings. So before you walk into the room, 574 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 3: asking yourself, who's going to be in the room, what 575 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 3: are they going to be looking for, What are they 576 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 3: going to ask me for? What are they going to 577 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 3: ask me about? What's my one smart comment or one 578 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:33,080 Speaker 3: smart question, what's my point of view in this topic? 579 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 3: And coming prepared. You don't have to necessarily do a 580 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 3: book report for yourself every time, but just even the 581 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 3: ten seconds that it takes to join this zoom call 582 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:47,000 Speaker 3: or team's call or whatnot, refreshing your mind as to 583 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 3: what your point of view is and who might be 584 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 3: in the room and what your contribution is going to 585 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 3: be can be the difference between you getting caught off 586 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 3: guard and you looking like and frankly being put together. 587 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 3: So that's one something that we all encounter on a 588 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 3: daily basis, which is meetings. The second is around thinking 589 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 3: back to the Alec Baldwin movie of ABC Always be Closing. 590 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 2: That's right, good old school movie there. 591 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, and ABC is not just a sales concept. It's 592 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 3: just as much an email thread concept. For example, where 593 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 3: there are some people who will take an email and 594 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 3: toss it right back at you and for example, ask 595 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 3: when are you available, and then they'll say, well, I'm 596 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 3: available next week. Well, you could push the agenda forward 597 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 3: simply by offering your availability in the other person's time 598 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,800 Speaker 3: zone and maybe listing out three five. In my case, 599 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 3: I often will list up my entire week's availability. That way, 600 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,920 Speaker 3: all the other person has to do is pick a 601 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 3: time and you're done, versus having to spend you know, 602 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 3: five ten emails going back and forth and asking well 603 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 3: what do you think? What do you think? 604 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 2: There's nothing more annoying then going back and forth and 605 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 2: back and forth about a time, so I agree, like, yeah, 606 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 2: just for simplicity's sake and for being helpful like tossing 607 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 2: out those that time availability is like yeah, definitely one 608 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 2: easy thing you can do to make people on your 609 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 2: team's life a little bit easier. And when it comes 610 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 2: to managing workload, you know, in the workplace, it's important 611 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 2: to know the difference between what's urgent and important, right 612 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 2: you talk about that in your book, like how do 613 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 2: we distinguish between those things? And why is that such 614 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 2: an important part of being an ineffective worker? 615 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 3: Yes, is probably one of the more important concepts, especially 616 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,360 Speaker 3: as we're all juggling multiple balls at the same time. 617 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 3: Where important I define as centrality, scrutiny, and criticality, So 618 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 3: a lot of ease here. Centrality is how core is 619 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 3: this responsibility to your role? So if this is something 620 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 3: that you're hired to do, that's important. Scrutiny is who's 621 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 3: paying attention, So if the sea is asking for an update, 622 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,240 Speaker 3: that's probably a sign that this is a high profile project. 623 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 3: And if someone's asking about it, you should be responsive 624 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:12,240 Speaker 3: to it. And then finally, criticality is is this something 625 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,640 Speaker 3: that if this doesn't get done, nothing else gets done 626 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:20,360 Speaker 3: if so, that's important as well. And urgency I define 627 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:25,960 Speaker 3: as proximity, scrutiny, anxiety, and time sensitivity, So again a 628 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,200 Speaker 3: lot of easier. Where proximity is probably the easiest to define, 629 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,280 Speaker 3: which is how close you are to the deadline if 630 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 3: there is a deadline. Scrutiny we talked about, which is 631 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 3: who's paying attention. Anxiety is something that's unspoken and unwritten, 632 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 3: where how anxious are the people around you to get 633 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 3: things done. I think of this as if we're driving 634 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 3: down a freeway and you're in the fast lane, but 635 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 3: you're driving slowly and everyone's tailgating you. Everyone's anxious you 636 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 3: aren't you're going too slowly. And then finally, time sensitivity 637 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,400 Speaker 3: is do things get harder as time goes on. I 638 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 3: think of this as scheduling meetings, for example, where the 639 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 3: longer you wait, the more people's calendars will fill up. 640 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,800 Speaker 3: And so the faster you get this thing scheduled, the 641 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 3: sooner you can get that hold, the less anxious people 642 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 3: will be. And it's important to think about the difference 643 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:19,080 Speaker 3: between important and urgent, because what often happens is we 644 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 3: let the urgent crowd out the important. And I have 645 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 3: a lot of examples of people who said yes to 646 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,360 Speaker 3: everything and felt like they did a lot of work, 647 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 3: but none of that work ultimately mattered, and so come 648 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,399 Speaker 3: promotion time, they didn't end up having anything to show 649 00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:38,399 Speaker 3: despite them being so swamped with work, and so knowing 650 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,240 Speaker 3: the difference between important and urgent can be the difference 651 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 3: between you working hard versus smart, or you getting promoted 652 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:46,080 Speaker 3: and not promoted. 653 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like getting all the stuff crossed off your 654 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 2: to do list, but maybe most of the things that 655 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,200 Speaker 2: you were able to accomplish, it didn't really matter to 656 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,839 Speaker 2: the people who are right above you or to your 657 00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 2: boss's boss. It's getting those those are the important things 658 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 2: you're going to want to be able to show to 659 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 2: your superiors, right, to show that you're actually effective as 660 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 2: opposed to just someone who can accomplish tasks. 661 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 3: Oh for sure. Yeah, it's coming back to the idea 662 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,160 Speaker 3: of being proactive. I mean, you don't want to be 663 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,640 Speaker 3: that rock that has to be kicked constantly where someone 664 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,400 Speaker 3: kicks you a little bit your roll and then you 665 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 3: tumble and then there's a thud. That's not the person 666 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:21,160 Speaker 3: you want to be. 667 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,319 Speaker 1: Kind Of looping back to proactivity, it kind of made 668 00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,279 Speaker 1: me think back to some in your book as well. 669 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 1: You talk about setting expectations and how being proactive a 670 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 1: lot of times means figuring out what your job is 671 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,560 Speaker 1: figuring out what those expectations are. Can you touch on 672 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 1: that a little bit? How is that going to impact 673 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,000 Speaker 1: your success at work? Yeah? 674 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 3: I think of every job as having almost a major 675 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,879 Speaker 3: and a minor, or a main course and a set 676 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,759 Speaker 3: of side dishes in certain whatever analogy or metaphor you 677 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:54,160 Speaker 3: want here, where we all in our day jobs have 678 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 3: have to dos and nice to dos. So as I 679 00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:00,040 Speaker 3: think back to centrality, one of these core ten and 680 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,800 Speaker 3: it's to importance if you were hired to do something, 681 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,440 Speaker 3: or if there's a project that if this doesn't get done, 682 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,840 Speaker 3: your head is on the guillotine. That's all of a 683 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,799 Speaker 3: sudden important. And so when you first join a role 684 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,360 Speaker 3: or when you're first approaching a project, that can be 685 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,040 Speaker 3: helpful to think about, Okay, where do I need to 686 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,719 Speaker 3: be perfect because this is really what's going to be scrutinized, 687 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,799 Speaker 3: And where do I only need to be good enough 688 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,760 Speaker 3: where maybe I can cut some corners or not treat 689 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 3: this so urgently or not spend so much time on 690 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,439 Speaker 3: this and so one of the questions that often gets 691 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 3: overlooked when you're joining a new team or entering a 692 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 3: new role is to ask your manager, Hey, what do 693 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,279 Speaker 3: you expect me to have done or accomplished in by 694 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,839 Speaker 3: the end of my first three months or six months 695 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:52,319 Speaker 3: or a year, or what do you consider high priorities 696 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:57,799 Speaker 3: and maybe mediocre priorities. I guess people don't generally like 697 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 3: to think of things as low priorities, so I hesitate 698 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,440 Speaker 3: to maybe drop that in your first conversation with your manager. 699 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,400 Speaker 2: What's the stuff I shouldn't care about at all? Okay, 700 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:06,359 Speaker 2: let's get real here. 701 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,799 Speaker 3: So I mean, so much of this is around doing 702 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 3: this hint, hint, nudge nudge of hey, what can I 703 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,879 Speaker 3: kind of cut corners on? Which is going to keep 704 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 3: you saying. But you have to sort of approach this 705 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,520 Speaker 3: conversation in a polite, politically correct way, which is asking, hey, 706 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,520 Speaker 3: what's top priority? Because I want to make sure I'm 707 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 3: doing a good job at that exactly. 708 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, And that can be difficult when you have a 709 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,719 Speaker 1: job that encompasses a lot of responsibilities and you're looking 710 00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:31,800 Speaker 1: at your job description and you see all these things. 711 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 1: But what it sounds like you're trying to do here 712 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,640 Speaker 1: is getting your boss or your supervisor to boil it 713 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,480 Speaker 1: all down for you, Like, just like you said, at 714 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 1: the end of three months, what has to be done, 715 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 1: what would be nice to have accomplished. I think that's 716 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,239 Speaker 1: all smart. We've got a few more questions that we 717 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,400 Speaker 1: want to ask you here right after the break. I 718 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,120 Speaker 1: feel like so far we've kind of touched on ways 719 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: to get your career kicked off right, and so after 720 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,360 Speaker 1: the break, we're actually we want to ask some questions 721 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 1: about kind of moving on from a career when it 722 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,400 Speaker 1: comes to looking you know, ARD's the next step in 723 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,600 Speaker 1: your career. So we'll get to all those right after 724 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,840 Speaker 1: this break. 725 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,320 Speaker 2: We're back to the break. We're still talking with gorek 726 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:19,359 Speaker 2: ing about the unspoken rules of career success, and match 727 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,760 Speaker 2: just hinted to this. We're going to talk about maybe 728 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 2: moving on from a job you're not so interested in anymore, 729 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,440 Speaker 2: and Gork you said that actually, ideally your next job 730 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:30,520 Speaker 2: is one that you don't even have to apply for. 731 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,200 Speaker 2: That sounds pretty nice. You talk about positioning yourself so 732 00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,480 Speaker 2: that opportunities are flowing to you, how do you actually 733 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 2: make that happen in reality? 734 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,279 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is one of the more important concepts because 735 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,640 Speaker 3: it's really speaking to not just putting your head down, 736 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:50,880 Speaker 3: but being strategic about maneuvering your way from where you 737 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 3: are to where you want to go. And I'll illustrate 738 00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 3: with an example that unfortunately didn't make it into the book, 739 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,960 Speaker 3: but it's of a late twenty something who had zero 740 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:04,120 Speaker 3: acting experience, had zero experience in Hollywood, but wanted to 741 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 3: break into the entertainment scene and his journey actually lasted 742 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 3: five years. So he also had patients in addition to 743 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:16,720 Speaker 3: the three c's, where he was working as a business 744 00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:21,319 Speaker 3: analyst unrelated at all to the entertainment field. But what 745 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 3: he did was he went to entertainment conferences and strategically 746 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:28,960 Speaker 3: sat beside the people that he wanted to meet. He 747 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:33,839 Speaker 3: would introduce himself and strike up a conversation with those 748 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,400 Speaker 3: who matter. He'd get their business cards or their emails 749 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,239 Speaker 3: and send a thank you email. He'd follow up with 750 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:46,879 Speaker 3: them with life updates. He'd pass on opportunities that these 751 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:51,600 Speaker 3: individuals may be interested in. He dug through his university 752 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,560 Speaker 3: and even his high school yearbook in search of people 753 00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:58,239 Speaker 3: who were even remotely connected to the entertainment scene. In 754 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,640 Speaker 3: La and then finally he he just cold emailed like mad, 755 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:07,640 Speaker 3: and over the course of just putting himself out there 756 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,760 Speaker 3: in all these different ways and making it a habit, 757 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 3: he ended up meeting someone who five years later ended 758 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,560 Speaker 3: up reaching out to him and saying, Hey, what are 759 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:19,239 Speaker 3: you looking for? And actually, as nicely ties back to 760 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,560 Speaker 3: our earlier conversation about the hero's journey, because when this 761 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,399 Speaker 3: person reached out and asked what are you looking for, 762 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,759 Speaker 3: they're asking for your hero's journey. Yeah, And this person 763 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,520 Speaker 3: ended up saying, well, I've done this and this this 764 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,880 Speaker 3: is where I'd like to go. The person who reached 765 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,879 Speaker 3: out ended up saying, actually, this is exactly the role 766 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:41,080 Speaker 3: that I'm looking to hire for. Let me forge your 767 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 3: resume over to HR. 768 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 1: That's awesome. 769 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:44,879 Speaker 2: That's so much better than what I would have done. 770 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,240 Speaker 2: I would have just like looked up like Kate Blanchett 771 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:48,800 Speaker 2: and Brad pitt On LinkedIn and I would have like 772 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,440 Speaker 2: tried to try to friend him there. 773 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,440 Speaker 3: But I'm sure he may have done that as well. 774 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, go one of the movie star home doors, 775 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 1: Like I'll get out here. 776 00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,240 Speaker 2: I started yelling from out in front of the fence. 777 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,560 Speaker 1: Well, Greg. You know, you kind of mentioned going to 778 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 1: these different conferences sitting down next to the people who 779 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,120 Speaker 1: you're hoping to get to know. That sort of sounds 780 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,000 Speaker 1: like finding a mentor to a certain extent, right, because 781 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 1: if you can, you know, if you hit it off 782 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,360 Speaker 1: and they like you and it's a conversation you can continue, 783 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,320 Speaker 1: if that's an email chain that continues for a while, 784 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,920 Speaker 1: that can be somebody who can mentor you. And so 785 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,239 Speaker 1: how important do you think that is? And you know, 786 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,200 Speaker 1: this is one small example of what a mentor might 787 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 1: look like, and so I'm interested to hear just maybe 788 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 1: some other examples too, But how important is it? And 789 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,840 Speaker 1: how do you find the right mentor for you? And 790 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,960 Speaker 1: then actually make that connection? Say it's an industry where 791 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,640 Speaker 1: you aren't able to sit down next to that person 792 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 1: you know at a conference, how do you reach out 793 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:41,800 Speaker 1: beyond your current network? 794 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 3: And I think the first thing actually is to define 795 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:52,279 Speaker 3: mentor in a less scary way. Where when I was 796 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,480 Speaker 3: first introduced the to the to the term and the 797 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,919 Speaker 3: concept of a mentor, I thought, wow, like I don't 798 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 3: know anyone in high places. But when I redefine mentor 799 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:07,200 Speaker 3: not as some hot shot person who's high up and 800 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:11,880 Speaker 3: therefore inaccessible. If I instead define mentor as someone who 801 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,799 Speaker 3: knows something you don't know, or someone who can help 802 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,920 Speaker 3: you figure out what you don't know, you don't know 803 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 3: but should know, I start realizing that actually a mentor 804 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,880 Speaker 3: could be anybody. My classmates are mentors, my friends are mentors, 805 00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 3: family members are mentors. And what it takes to find 806 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:35,520 Speaker 3: these mentors and to nurture these relationships it involves what 807 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 3: I call climbing the relationship ladder, where if you imagine 808 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,759 Speaker 3: a ladder with different rungs, at the very bottom are strangers, 809 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,000 Speaker 3: and just by definition, most people in the world are 810 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,040 Speaker 3: going to be strangers to you. But over the course 811 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:53,479 Speaker 3: of recognizing bids and embracing bids, you can turn someone 812 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:57,479 Speaker 3: who's otherwise a stranger into an acquaintance. And maybe that's 813 00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,640 Speaker 3: a matter of opening the door for someone, or holding 814 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:05,240 Speaker 3: the door open, or thanking someone who delivered an especially 815 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 3: good presentation, or asking a question at an event and 816 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,960 Speaker 3: following up or sending a thank you email, or just 817 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:16,839 Speaker 3: simply dming someone over Teams or Zoom or any other 818 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,399 Speaker 3: video chat platform that we may be using during our 819 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:23,640 Speaker 3: work from home days. All of these microactions are actually 820 00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:27,560 Speaker 3: elevating someone from stranger status to acquaintance status, and then 821 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,920 Speaker 3: from acquaintance status you can then follow up and have 822 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,279 Speaker 3: maybe a one on one conversation, in which case they 823 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,160 Speaker 3: become your allies where you're looking out for them and 824 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,200 Speaker 3: they're looking out for you. And over the course of 825 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,720 Speaker 3: nurturing those relationships, you may have a couple of people 826 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 3: who you may end up having deeper conversations with. These 827 00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:50,120 Speaker 3: become your mentors. And then finally, if you're looking up 828 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:53,080 Speaker 3: the chain of command in your organization, there are people 829 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,880 Speaker 3: who are called sponsors, who are people who are a 830 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,080 Speaker 3: part of those promotion committees, who really are high up 831 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:02,080 Speaker 3: in your organization and who can bang the table and say, hey, 832 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 3: we need to absolutely give this opportunity to Joel and Matt. 833 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,120 Speaker 3: I would trust them with my life, and what it 834 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:11,479 Speaker 3: takes to get these people up isn't to just throw 835 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,440 Speaker 3: them up there. I think these are maybe the people 836 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 3: that give networking a bad name, people who meet you 837 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,160 Speaker 3: for the first time and are maybe overly transactional, but 838 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,600 Speaker 3: who bring you up this relationship ladder, one rung at 839 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 3: a time. So I think it actually nicely brings us 840 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,280 Speaker 3: back full circle to where we began, which is finding 841 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,520 Speaker 3: these hidden opportunities to turn people who are otherwise strangers 842 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:37,600 Speaker 3: into acquaintances, following up, sending thank you emails, digging through databases, 843 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,200 Speaker 3: and doing all of these all the time as a habit. 844 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:40,799 Speaker 1: Yeah. 845 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,799 Speaker 2: I like that, And I like too the way you 846 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,200 Speaker 2: kind of talk about mentorship and how you can have 847 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,440 Speaker 2: like a few different mentors. It doesn't have to be sometimes. 848 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,279 Speaker 2: I guess growing up, I always felt like asking someone 849 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:51,799 Speaker 2: to be your mentor was like asking them to be 850 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,120 Speaker 2: a third parent to you or something like that. And 851 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,200 Speaker 2: it feels like this big ask. And I could see 852 00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:58,839 Speaker 2: if someone came up with me it was like, will 853 00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,120 Speaker 2: you be my mentor? But I would just be freaked 854 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:02,520 Speaker 2: out a little bit. And I think that there's like 855 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,759 Speaker 2: a soft way of kind of finding someone who can 856 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:10,560 Speaker 2: help mentor you without it being this uber formal relationship 857 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 2: that maybe a lot of people might not want to 858 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 2: partake in. I want to ask you to gorek about, 859 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,120 Speaker 2: like right now, what's happening kind of in the workplace 860 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,000 Speaker 2: has been called the Great Resignation. A lot of people 861 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:25,160 Speaker 2: ready to move on to a new job. So when 862 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,920 Speaker 2: it comes to leaving, though, there's a right way and 863 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,520 Speaker 2: a wrong way to leave. So how would you recommend 864 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,799 Speaker 2: someone who is thinking about, you know, moving on just 865 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,719 Speaker 2: to another competitor in the same space that they're in, 866 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,520 Speaker 2: or moving on to a completely different industry, or going 867 00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,160 Speaker 2: to work for themselves, Like, however they depart, how can 868 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,279 Speaker 2: they leave graciously? 869 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,480 Speaker 3: I think of this as a bit of a litmus 870 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:50,680 Speaker 3: test or three criteria that I would encourage folks to 871 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:56,240 Speaker 3: think about, where A you want to leave your team 872 00:45:56,719 --> 00:46:02,080 Speaker 3: not feeling blindsided. Be you want to leave your team 873 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,120 Speaker 3: in a position where they can keep the show running 874 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:07,439 Speaker 3: without you, and see you want to leave the team 875 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,799 Speaker 3: in a position where they've got line of sight to 876 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,440 Speaker 3: a successor who can fill your role. And it's a 877 00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:15,320 Speaker 3: bit of a tall order to achieve all three. And 878 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:19,120 Speaker 3: I realize that all three may not be attainable all 879 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:23,400 Speaker 3: the time. But I'd also say that number one is 880 00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,719 Speaker 3: more important than number two, which is more important than 881 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,719 Speaker 3: number three. Where the most important thing is to not 882 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:33,160 Speaker 3: leave your folks blindsided. Second most important is to make 883 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:36,319 Speaker 3: sure that there's continuity, that things aren't just gonna fall 884 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:40,120 Speaker 3: the pieces with you absent. And then three is if 885 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:44,200 Speaker 3: you can maybe even help find someone who can take 886 00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,439 Speaker 3: on your role in the future. It all depends on 887 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,760 Speaker 3: the extent of the relationship that you'd want to maintain, 888 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,799 Speaker 3: the reputation that you want to leave behind. Where if 889 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,759 Speaker 3: you want to not only not burn the bridge, but 890 00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:02,960 Speaker 3: leave that bridge smelling like flowers, do all three. If 891 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,040 Speaker 3: it's a normal situation, do one and two. And if 892 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 3: you want to leave amicably, which I suspect many of 893 00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:13,319 Speaker 3: us do because reputation is so important, then make sure 894 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,880 Speaker 3: that you're at least not leaving people blindsided. 895 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,160 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you know, at the very least do number one. 896 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,080 Speaker 1: So how do you do that then, because obviously you 897 00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,160 Speaker 1: probably don't want to fore casts. It's like, hey, I'm 898 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,920 Speaker 1: gonna be out of here in six months. That sounds 899 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,000 Speaker 1: like too much time. Yeah, But if you're like, like, no, 900 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,279 Speaker 1: actually you're out of here this Friday. Yeah, But then 901 00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:31,759 Speaker 1: if you go in that morning and you're like, hey, 902 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:34,560 Speaker 1: this is my last day, and so obviously there's there's 903 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,560 Speaker 1: some place in between. And so from a timeframe standpoint, 904 00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,600 Speaker 1: what do you feel like is ideal? And then what 905 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,680 Speaker 1: are the best ways of actually going about making that announcement? 906 00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, this is a bit of a tricky question. 907 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,719 Speaker 3: Because I know that if you go on to Google, 908 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,040 Speaker 3: people will say, well, it's two weeks. If it's two 909 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 3: weeks and one day, that's too long. And it's two 910 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,200 Speaker 3: weeks minus one day, it's too short. I actually came 911 00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,960 Speaker 3: up with this sort of three pronged litmus test as 912 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:05,440 Speaker 3: a way of hopefully helping folks think about what it 913 00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:10,200 Speaker 3: means to not surprise your coworkers. For your own individual context, 914 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,520 Speaker 3: it may be two weeks for your coworkers to not 915 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:17,040 Speaker 3: feel blindsided. It may be a month. I've left jobs 916 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:20,440 Speaker 3: before where I've actually given that three month notice because 917 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,439 Speaker 3: I knew that my role was one that was hard 918 00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:26,480 Speaker 3: to backfill. So I'm going to give you a bit 919 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,759 Speaker 3: of that cop out answer of saying, make sure you're 920 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,680 Speaker 3: mindful of these three and you will, likely for your 921 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 3: own circumstances come upon. Is it two weeks, is it 922 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:37,200 Speaker 3: three weeks? Is it four weeks? Kind of thing? 923 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, true, Yeah. In a recent article, Gorerick, you mentioned 924 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,719 Speaker 2: that everyone is the captain of their own career, and 925 00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,760 Speaker 2: if you don't make it happen, it's not going to happen. 926 00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,719 Speaker 2: And I think that is probably a good way to 927 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,920 Speaker 2: encourage us to take the reins of our own lives 928 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:55,520 Speaker 2: and of our futures and what it looks like to 929 00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,799 Speaker 2: continue to progress, either in the career that we're in 930 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,200 Speaker 2: or to move on to something you know, in the 931 00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,640 Speaker 2: near future that we're more excited about. What final advice 932 00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:06,719 Speaker 2: do you have for How to Money listeners when it 933 00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,680 Speaker 2: comes to steering their career towards success. 934 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:14,200 Speaker 3: Mm, well, given that this is the how to Money 935 00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:21,479 Speaker 3: podcast that's us, I'll frame this perhaps around capital, where 936 00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,080 Speaker 3: I know in a number of prior episodes you talk 937 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:28,400 Speaker 3: about the trade off between time and money as always 938 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:32,319 Speaker 3: as two forms of capital or currency. As I think 939 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,279 Speaker 3: about capital, I think of it as things that we 940 00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:38,600 Speaker 3: can spend and accumulate, maybe not time, although maybe you 941 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,400 Speaker 3: can save a bit of time. We have a finite 942 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,960 Speaker 3: amount of time. When I start thinking about capital and 943 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,360 Speaker 3: the context of our careers, I start thinking about how 944 00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,200 Speaker 3: there are really three additional forms of capital. One is 945 00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,040 Speaker 3: human capital, which is what you know and can do. 946 00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:58,600 Speaker 3: The second is social capital, which is who you know. 947 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,640 Speaker 3: And then the final one is reputational capital, which is 948 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,600 Speaker 3: who knows you and what they know you for. And 949 00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:07,799 Speaker 3: when I think about our careers, it's really a matter 950 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:11,600 Speaker 3: of playing your cards well across these five forms of 951 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:16,479 Speaker 3: capital and making sure that you're making the right trade 952 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,920 Speaker 3: offs where maybe it's not all about the money and 953 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,680 Speaker 3: it's about the human capital, the learning that you'll get. 954 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,400 Speaker 3: Maybe it's about signing up for this project so you 955 00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,160 Speaker 3: can meet more people. Maybe it's about building a good 956 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:32,480 Speaker 3: reputation so that you can use this opportunity as a 957 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:35,920 Speaker 3: stepping stone to that next opportunity. So being mindful of 958 00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:41,479 Speaker 3: how you're pulling these levers can hopefully help folks better 959 00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:43,320 Speaker 3: navigate these unfamiliar situations. 960 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,279 Speaker 1: That is great advice and makes sense because there are 961 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,120 Speaker 1: going to be I mean, we should probably be paying 962 00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,239 Speaker 1: attention to all of them, but I think there are 963 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:53,120 Speaker 1: certain forms of capital here that you mentioned that are 964 00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:55,920 Speaker 1: going to be more important to us as individuals. There 965 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,760 Speaker 1: might be these different areas that we want to pursue 966 00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,680 Speaker 1: more than others because they just mean more to us, 967 00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:03,359 Speaker 1: and so I think kind of starting with that end 968 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,759 Speaker 1: in mind can definitely inform the decisions that we make 969 00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,359 Speaker 1: as we advance through our careers. Gorick, this has been 970 00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:12,320 Speaker 1: a really insightful conversation. Where can can folks go to 971 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,400 Speaker 1: learn more about you? As well as what else you 972 00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:14,920 Speaker 1: have going on. 973 00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, the best way to stay in touch is through 974 00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:21,760 Speaker 3: my website. It's Goreic dot com. That's g o Rick 975 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,120 Speaker 3: dot com. I'm on the different social media platforms which 976 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:30,320 Speaker 3: you'll see on my website, whether it's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, 977 00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,560 Speaker 3: even and especially LinkedIn. So feel free to reach out 978 00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,759 Speaker 3: and I would love to stay in touch. This is 979 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,239 Speaker 3: actually a bid, by the way, this is a bid 980 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,239 Speaker 3: to your audience that I see who reaching out, who 981 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 3: takes advantage exactly. 982 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,080 Speaker 2: Awesome, Gorey, Well, hey, thanks so much for joining us 983 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:46,439 Speaker 2: on the show. This is a lot of fun. 984 00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:49,200 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. This is an amazing time. Thank 985 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,680 Speaker 3: you all right, Joe, what. 986 00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:54,040 Speaker 1: A very insightful conversation. I feel like we just had 987 00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,080 Speaker 1: here at Gorek. I feel like his book it's a 988 00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:59,400 Speaker 1: book telling you how to do everything but your job, right, Like, 989 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,400 Speaker 1: we all have different professions, and we all were essentially 990 00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,120 Speaker 1: hired for one specific task or maybe a couple tasks 991 00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,680 Speaker 1: related to the one job that you're supposed to do. 992 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,399 Speaker 1: But Gowork's book is just all about all the other 993 00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,520 Speaker 1: things that we have to do in addition to that 994 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:15,040 Speaker 1: one task to make sure that we're successful, to make 995 00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,000 Speaker 1: sure that we're compatible with those around us. 996 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like it's a lot of his advice, 997 00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,759 Speaker 2: Like he said, he drew some from marriage advice and 998 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,120 Speaker 2: what it looks like to be, you know, a good 999 00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,920 Speaker 2: coworker in the workplace, and so I think some of 1000 00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,799 Speaker 2: the advice he gives is eminently applicable to the work 1001 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,560 Speaker 2: you're doing and how to do it well, but it's 1002 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,440 Speaker 2: also applicable to I don't know, being a better human being, 1003 00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,120 Speaker 2: communicating better with the people that you know live under 1004 00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,920 Speaker 2: the same roof with, or family members who you know 1005 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:41,880 Speaker 2: live a ways away. 1006 00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,759 Speaker 1: Like it's just, yeah, it's a really good book with 1007 00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,000 Speaker 1: a lot of helpful stuff, but yeah, what was your 1008 00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:48,160 Speaker 1: big takeaway from that combo? So I liked how he 1009 00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:52,080 Speaker 1: redefined what a mentor is because essentially it seems like 1010 00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:56,440 Speaker 1: this very daunting, intimidating word. Oh sort of like you said, 1011 00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:58,600 Speaker 1: you know, like will you be my mentor? It's like, oh, man, 1012 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:00,400 Speaker 1: I'm freaking out over here, or like I don't know 1013 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,480 Speaker 1: if I'm ready for that kind of responsibility. Right, I've 1014 00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,240 Speaker 1: already got three kids. I don't even know the one 1015 00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:06,239 Speaker 1: or like before you had kids are just like oh, 1016 00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,799 Speaker 1: I'm only twenty eight, so like, I'm not ready for 1017 00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,520 Speaker 1: this right, this kind of commitment. But I love how 1018 00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,200 Speaker 1: he defined it, which is it can be as simple 1019 00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:16,680 Speaker 1: as finding somebody who is one step down further down 1020 00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:18,480 Speaker 1: the path than you are. It can be somebody who 1021 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,719 Speaker 1: just knows one more thing than you do, and they 1022 00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:24,200 Speaker 1: could be a mentor. To me, that doesn't sound like 1023 00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,360 Speaker 1: a mentor, but maybe what that means is we should 1024 00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:29,400 Speaker 1: just completely get rid of that term, because I'm afraid 1025 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,040 Speaker 1: that that's keeping people from reaching out to people and 1026 00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,440 Speaker 1: thinking about those relationships in that way. It doesn't have 1027 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:39,440 Speaker 1: to be this Obi wan Anakin Skywalker relationship where you're 1028 00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,560 Speaker 1: passing the skills down from you know, a mature Jedi 1029 00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,520 Speaker 1: night down to like a kid in training, will you 1030 00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:49,960 Speaker 1: be my Yoda? But yeah, I just found that specifically 1031 00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:53,040 Speaker 1: really helpful, the way he redefined what a mentor could 1032 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:53,680 Speaker 1: be in your life. 1033 00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:54,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that was good. 1034 00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:56,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. So how about you? What was your big takeaway 1035 00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:57,120 Speaker 1: from this convo? 1036 00:53:57,239 --> 00:53:59,080 Speaker 2: Okay, I think one of the biggest things that stood 1037 00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:01,080 Speaker 2: out to me was when he was talking about when 1038 00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,520 Speaker 2: you're going to college, you're keeping up and when you 1039 00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:05,840 Speaker 2: get in the workplace, it's all about stepping up. And 1040 00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,160 Speaker 2: I can totally identify with that, because if you bring 1041 00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:10,640 Speaker 2: that college mentality in, like I just gotta show up 1042 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:13,839 Speaker 2: to class on time, turn in my paper by the deadline, 1043 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,600 Speaker 2: you feel like you are just trying to get by 1044 00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,880 Speaker 2: and you're trying to hopefully at least keep up that 1045 00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:23,000 Speaker 2: B average or whatever. And you know, in the workplace, 1046 00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,160 Speaker 2: there is if you want to get ahead, like if 1047 00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,360 Speaker 2: you want to succeed, if you want a promotion, if 1048 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:29,040 Speaker 2: you want to be able to move up the ladder 1049 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:32,680 Speaker 2: and hopefully increase your earnings. Which on hot of money, like, 1050 00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,960 Speaker 2: we're down with you increasing your earnings. We think that's 1051 00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,440 Speaker 2: a good thing. Then there are things that you have 1052 00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,239 Speaker 2: to pay attention to and you can't treat it like 1053 00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:42,080 Speaker 2: you did college. You have to be more about stepping up, 1054 00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,719 Speaker 2: and that does involve proactivity, right. You're gonna have to 1055 00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:46,960 Speaker 2: work on your communication style, and you're gonna have to 1056 00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:50,160 Speaker 2: think ahead when it comes to what jobs are the 1057 00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,640 Speaker 2: most crucial, which ones you need to get done. You 1058 00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,759 Speaker 2: even have to change your approach to meetings, which is 1059 00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,239 Speaker 2: one of the things he said in this interview. So yeah, 1060 00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. I think that's a really important distinction 1061 00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:01,759 Speaker 2: to make. If you're still kind of thinking about your 1062 00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:05,080 Speaker 2: work like you did going to college, in all likelihood, 1063 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:07,080 Speaker 2: you're gonna be kind of stuck, and you're gonna feel 1064 00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,640 Speaker 2: stuck after a little while. Yeah, be average, which you 1065 00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:12,520 Speaker 2: said you can't. You can't get into Harvard with a 1066 00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,120 Speaker 2: be average. No, no, no, I'm not saying gorek the average. 1067 00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,759 Speaker 2: You gotta have a four parts to that than he. 1068 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:19,640 Speaker 1: Was for everyone out there. But I mean we're kind 1069 00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:21,680 Speaker 1: of joking about just keeping up in school. But even 1070 00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,000 Speaker 1: for folks who are in school, if you are able 1071 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,400 Speaker 1: to even at a at an earlier age, to switch 1072 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,920 Speaker 1: that mentality, I think from a keeping up to stepping 1073 00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,680 Speaker 1: up mentality. If you're in school and you're stepping up, 1074 00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:34,200 Speaker 1: you're going to be the class president, You're gonna stand 1075 00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:36,160 Speaker 1: out from all of the rest. You're gonna be the 1076 00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,680 Speaker 1: one getting the job offers before you've even graduated. Yeah, 1077 00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,040 Speaker 1: and that's the kind of situation you want to find 1078 00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:44,200 Speaker 1: yourself in if you're a college graduate. But definitely, like 1079 00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:45,480 Speaker 1: you said, those are the things that you need to 1080 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,920 Speaker 1: do within a professional environment as well. But let's go 1081 00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:50,520 Speaker 1: ahead and get back to the beer that you and 1082 00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,640 Speaker 1: I enjoyed on this episode today. You and I both 1083 00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:56,240 Speaker 1: had a Belgian Aloha and this is a Belgian triple 1084 00:55:56,360 --> 00:56:01,200 Speaker 1: with hibiscus, brewed in Lewis Center. Never heard of this brewery. 1085 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:04,040 Speaker 1: This one was sent to us by Scott's. Thank you 1086 00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:06,160 Speaker 1: so much for donating this one plus another one that 1087 00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,600 Speaker 1: we're gonna enjoy here on the podcast. Joe, what were 1088 00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:09,000 Speaker 1: your thoughts? 1089 00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, man, this one was light and refreshing, and it 1090 00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,759 Speaker 2: really did have like a little bit of Belgium and 1091 00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,319 Speaker 2: a little bit of Hawaii mixed in. 1092 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:15,800 Speaker 1: Oh. 1093 00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:17,920 Speaker 2: You know. It had had some of those Belgian notes 1094 00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:21,160 Speaker 2: of a classic triple, some of that like Belgian spice 1095 00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:21,759 Speaker 2: thrown in there. 1096 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:21,920 Speaker 3: Well. 1097 00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:24,240 Speaker 2: At the same time, the hibiscus gave it a little 1098 00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:26,839 Speaker 2: bit more of a tropical vibe. It was I would 1099 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,880 Speaker 2: say it was refreshing, it was tasty. Yeah, I enjoyed it, 1100 00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,080 Speaker 2: and it's not necessarily the kind of beer I normally 1101 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,399 Speaker 2: go for. Belgian triples aren't normally my thing. I think 1102 00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:37,400 Speaker 2: sometimes those Belgian spices are actually a little overwhelming to 1103 00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,560 Speaker 2: my palette. But this one was kind of muted, yeah, 1104 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:40,279 Speaker 2: in that way, So I. 1105 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,400 Speaker 1: Appreciate it because of the hibiscus. I assume those lural 1106 00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,640 Speaker 1: notes that the hibiscus was able to bring to this beer. 1107 00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:48,160 Speaker 1: Like when we poured it, I was like, oh, this 1108 00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:50,360 Speaker 1: is a really pretty beer. It was like halfway between 1109 00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:51,440 Speaker 1: like pink and orange. 1110 00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:52,319 Speaker 2: Looked like a rose or something. 1111 00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:54,359 Speaker 1: So on the can it actually says that, it says 1112 00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:58,120 Speaker 1: this is a French slash Belgian ale that's rosy, bubbly 1113 00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:01,160 Speaker 1: and strong on the finish. Totally true. It definitely kind 1114 00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:04,440 Speaker 1: of had those rose vibes going on. I really enjoyed 1115 00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,440 Speaker 1: this one, and I agree, yeah, it didn't have those 1116 00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,800 Speaker 1: heavy kind of triple clove kind of spices. It was 1117 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,800 Speaker 1: almost more just sort of like a muted Belgian herbally 1118 00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:15,319 Speaker 1: notes that it was able to show up with. But 1119 00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:17,920 Speaker 1: either way, we really enjoyed this one, and Scott, thank 1120 00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,160 Speaker 1: you again for sending this one for us to enjoy 1121 00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:21,400 Speaker 1: on the podcast. 1122 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,240 Speaker 2: No doubt. All right, Well that's going to do it 1123 00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:25,080 Speaker 2: for this episode. Folks who want show notes and links 1124 00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:27,560 Speaker 2: to go Rick's book and his website. You can go 1125 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,720 Speaker 2: to our website at howtomoney dot com. That's right, and 1126 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:30,600 Speaker 2: so that's gonna be it. 1127 00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:34,520 Speaker 1: Dude. Until next time, Best friends out, best friends out,