1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, Bobby here in a kitchen again in California. 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: So if it sounds like I'm not in the studio, 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: well you are correct, because right now I'm I'm sitting 4 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: in a kitchen in an Airbnb as we're shooting, you know, 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: my National geographic show that we'll be out and hopefully 6 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: early next year, early to mid next year. I'm staring 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: at some bananas. I don't even have bananas. Got there? 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: We didn't order bananas, did we? Oh, Mike bought bananas today. 9 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: Sitting to my right in the kitchen is Mike d Well. 10 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: This is a minor league version of us living together 11 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: in California because we're only doing close to two weeks 12 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: here now. At one time, we lived together in California 13 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: for almost four months whenever I was doing dancing. So 14 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: for us, it's just a tripped down memory lane, right Mike. 15 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 1: Like a dorm room. This is a big dorm room 16 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: we have. We have four people staying here now. But 17 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: I wanted to come on and say thanks, and I 18 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: wanted to share an episode of a podcast I think 19 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: you may like. It's called too much to say with 20 00:00:56,240 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: Kaylee Shore. She's such a good artist. She is using 21 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: her songwriter here in Nashville. Very unique sound, a message 22 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,479 Speaker 1: in her music that transfers over so well into her 23 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: podcasts and great on Twitter at Kaylee shore Ka l 24 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: I E s h O r R. Very real. She 25 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: says it like she feels like it is. I never 26 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: into people going, well, I say it like it is. 27 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: Now you say it how you think it? Now? That's cool. 28 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: Well that's that she doesn't say this, I'm going on 29 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: to rant a tangent rant. That's when people go, I'll 30 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: like that guy says it how it is. Didn't saying 31 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: how he is? Say it how's he feel? He says 32 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: it how he feels. There's a difference. I don't really 33 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: believe there's in like it is. I think everybody, everybody's 34 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: truth is basically perspective. Anyway, I digress. I wanted to 35 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: share this episode she did about relationships and what it's 36 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: like to break up with someone that you've been living with. 37 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: She shares her own experience from a breakup to where 38 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 1: she had to figure out how to split all their 39 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: stuff and also, my nose feel stocked up. I just 40 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: got a massage. Do massages stuff up your nose? Maybe 41 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: it's God was leaning. So I was doing stunt work today, 42 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,559 Speaker 1: and so I was falling off stuff and doing fight scenes. 43 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: In my neck is killing me. So they send a 44 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: massage therapist out here and he shows up and basically 45 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 1: a space suit. He's got the mask on, something over 46 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 1: the mask and then a helmet and a face shield. 47 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 1: So I never actually knew what the guy looked like. 48 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 1: And I'm wearing a mask two as I'm getting a 49 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: massage in your faces down the whole time. Maybe that's 50 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: where it comes from my face? Is that a thing? 51 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: Probably not? Well. There was one point where he was like, 52 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: massage in my hands. I was like he had to 53 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: put his hand in mind, and I caught myself holding 54 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: his hand back. Yeah. Anyway, check out this episode. Although 55 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 1: I like a male massage therapist, I just wanted to 56 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 1: say that I think so many guys don't. And then 57 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: I go to one a guy. It's because you never 58 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: had a good one, right, Ladies, Once you get a 59 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: good man, nothing's the same, all right. Anyway, check this out. 60 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: Be sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. The 61 00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: episode here is Kaylee Shore. Once you lie on't you 62 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 1: listen to it? Literally type onto your phone. Too much 63 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: to say with Kaylee Shore, It'll pop up. Subscribe, be 64 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: a fan, Thank you, enjoy the podcast. Hey guys, I'm 65 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 1: Kaylee Shore, and this is too much to say, question 66 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: out of you. This week we're gonna be talking about breakups, 67 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: but not any kind of breakup, particularly the kind where 68 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: you live together and then you don't. And I've been 69 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: through several different types of breakups, but i can tell 70 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: you without a doubt that this type is obviously the 71 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: most inconvenient. But there's just so many things that you 72 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: don't realize you're going to have to deal with when 73 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: this happens. So with a normal breakup, you know, you 74 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: might go through the motions after which are like deleting 75 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: their number, I'm following them on Instagram, you know, talking 76 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: shit to your friends and just trying to put some 77 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: distance between yourself and the other person. And sometimes when 78 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: you break up with someone, you don't go the same places, 79 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: you don't have the same friend groups, and you really 80 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: don't have to see them again. And that's great and 81 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: you can kind of just like put them away in 82 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: a box and not have to think about it. Then 83 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 1: there's the breakups where your lives are really entwined. Maybe 84 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: you work together, maybe you go to school together, maybe 85 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: you have all the same friends, and you have to 86 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 1: kind of plan who's going to go to the birthday 87 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: party and who's not. And this is all under the 88 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: assumption that these are messy breakups, not like the ones 89 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 1: where you can like go get a coffee after and 90 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: check in on them. I don't know a whole lot 91 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: about those ones. So those pose a different type of 92 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: risk because you know you're seeing them and that's hard 93 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 1: because it's kind of reopening the wound at all times, 94 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 1: and you know they may have left some things in 95 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: your closet. You may find a sweatshirt, etc. Etc. But 96 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: then when you lived together, it's a whole different thing. 97 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: So it's not like necessarily a divorce, but it sure 98 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: shares a lot of similarities. And when I was going 99 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: through the move out of the breakup, it's like you're 100 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,359 Speaker 1: dividing everything, and obviously, like you know, you're dividing the 101 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: obvious things, like you know, um, okay, you can take 102 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: the TV in the living room and I'll take the 103 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: TV in the bedroom, or okay, yeah, those are your 104 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: pots and pans, all take these ones, and like you know, 105 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: after six years, who remembers who bought one anymore. I 106 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: mean there were so many things we bought together, and 107 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: you know, there was furniture, but then they were like 108 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: super super random things like Christmas ornaments. And I wasn't 109 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 1: thinking about that at first because we broke up in 110 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 1: May of twenty eighteen, and as like you know, the 111 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: year goes on, I'm finding more stuff and I'm like, fuck, 112 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 1: he's probably gonna want this, And you know, sometimes I 113 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 1: would find something that like I found a book from 114 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 1: one of our friends who had passed away, and there 115 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: was a really really lovely letter to my ex boyfriend 116 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,799 Speaker 1: written in it, and I was like, m he's probably 117 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: gonna want this, and I'm not excited to go talk 118 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: to him, but like I'm an asshole if I don't 119 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: give him this thing that's super super important. And that 120 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: was like, I feel like a year after the breakup too. 121 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: So it was just I was kept finding these things 122 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: and reasons to talk to him. And I remember like 123 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:24,480 Speaker 1: the week after we broke up, I was like, you 124 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: can get off my cell phone, pool and I was 125 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 1: so pissed, Like this was a very messy breakup. So 126 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: all of this was like ten times harder than it 127 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: should have been. There's just no such thing as a 128 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: clean break in a breakup period, but especially in one 129 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: like this. I had to get new car insurance, and 130 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: you know, he had to move out and find another 131 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 1: place to live, and I took the apartment, but there 132 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: were just so many things everywhere reminding me of him, 133 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 1: and I felt like my house was a mine field 134 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: of things to stumble across, and like it was super 135 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: weird because he didn't move out everything all at once. 136 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: And I remember the first time I had an other 137 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: guy over after we broke up, I still had some 138 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: of his clothes hanging in my closet and I felt 139 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: so fucking weird about that and totally ruined it. And 140 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not ready to get back out there, 141 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: and you know, I'd cut things off with that guy, 142 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: but it was just his ghost, his energy, his shit 143 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: was all still in there, and it just felt like 144 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: the breakup was even more recent than it was. And 145 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: it felt like that for a really, really long time. 146 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: And I mean I still I just moved into a 147 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: new place, like right before quarantine happened, and thank god, 148 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: I like I used to live by myself obviously after 149 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: my ex moved out and now I have roommates, and 150 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: that's like totally saved me during the whole COVID thing 151 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 1: because I'm such an extrovert. It would have been really 152 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: really hard to live by myself. But I was moving 153 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: and I like found a bunch of stuff that I 154 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 1: didn't even know I hadn't. It was just like hiding 155 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: in boxes, and like I found letters and pictures, and 156 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, And I don't necessarily like 157 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 1: want to throw everything away, Like I don't want to 158 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: hang on to it, so I can still feel it, 159 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: but it's like I want to keep those six years 160 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: of my life somehow, So I just shoved everything in 161 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: a box and put it my storage in it, and 162 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: I don't really think I'm going to look at it. 163 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: But it's also like I don't want to erase a 164 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: six year period of my life. Like if I had 165 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: gone through a best friend breakup like I talked about 166 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: on last week's episode, I would have kept like the 167 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: pictures and I would have kept the presence they gave 168 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 1: me and stuff, and maybe I wouldn't have looked at 169 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: them all the time, but I still would have held 170 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: onto them so I kind of saw this as the 171 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 1: same thing, and they're just in a box with his 172 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: name on it, shoved under some you know, Halloween decorations 173 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: in my storage unit, but I kept them, and I 174 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: think after the move, it was so good for me 175 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: to get out of the apartment that we used to 176 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: live in and get into a completely new space and 177 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: be able to go through everything I owned and like 178 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,559 Speaker 1: purge everything that made me think of him. But there 179 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: were so many things I had to get rid of 180 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 1: in order to do that that I didn't necessarily want 181 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,839 Speaker 1: to get rid of. One of those things was bed 182 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: that he had built for me. And he built me 183 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 1: this really big, king sized bedframe and it was stained 184 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: gray and it was really cool, and you know, it 185 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: was exactly what I'd wanted and he'd made that for me, 186 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 1: and I had it for a really long time because 187 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,320 Speaker 1: king bed frames are really expensive. I really liked this one, 188 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: and I had him make me one like that for 189 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 1: a reason. But it was really fucking weird to have 190 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: that bedframe and you know, have a male guest over 191 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: in the bed that my ex boyfriend built for me. 192 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: It was really weird. And that was one of the 193 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: last things I got rid of because I just I 194 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: liked the bed, but it eventually ended up being too 195 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: much and I was like, yeah, I don't want to 196 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: do this at all. So my roommate actually bought it 197 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: off of me, so now it's in her room. I'm like, 198 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: you can do it whatever you want with that bed 199 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,719 Speaker 1: because you have no emotional ties to it. Then there 200 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: was the Nintendo Switch, which is like I'm still very 201 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: very salty about. So back when they first came out 202 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 1: and they were sold out everywhere, it was Christmas or 203 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: his birthday, I forgot which one and I got him 204 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 1: a Nintendo Switch, but because they were sold out everywhere, 205 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: I think I paid like double four it, like, I 206 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: paid like six hundred and something dollars for this Nintendo Switch, 207 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: which in retrospect I realized was a little stupid, but 208 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: you know, it made him really happy. It was a 209 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 1: great gift. Whatever. And I got so obsessed with Zelda 210 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,319 Speaker 1: Breath of the Wild, like so obsessed. So I had 211 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,839 Speaker 1: beat all four of the Divine Beasts and those are 212 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: like really hard to do, and I learned so much 213 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,839 Speaker 1: about Zelda and I got really into it. And it 214 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: was during the winter, and so I just didn't have 215 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: a lot going on, and I was just sitting on 216 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: my couch playing Breath of the Wild for hours at 217 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: a time, which, like maybe me losing the Nintendo Switch 218 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: was necessary because of how much time I was spending 219 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,679 Speaker 1: on it. But I really really liked that game, and 220 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,839 Speaker 1: so i'd purposely beat all four of the Divine Beasts 221 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 1: and so I could go into the final thing and 222 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: beat Gannon, who's like the evil overlord whatever. But I 223 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: wanted to play it and do every single thing and 224 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 1: beat like all one hundred and twenty shrines or whatever 225 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: there were. If you guys have not played Zelda, I 226 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: know I'm just like, this is gibberish, but just bear 227 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: with me. So that was very important to me that 228 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: I played the game like that, and it wasn't easy 229 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,959 Speaker 1: to get to that point and to get all the 230 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: resources and like, you know, do the damn thing. And 231 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: so when we broke up, I was still in the 232 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: process of beating this game. Fuck me, I'm so mad 233 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: because he took it when we broke up, and I 234 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: don't know how that works, because it was a gift 235 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: I gave him, but we used it equally, and I 236 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: paid a literal arm and a leg for it, just 237 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: for him to cheat on me and fuck my friends. 238 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: So I'm definitely still a little salty. And I could 239 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: go buy a new Nintendo Switch. Actually I probably couldn't 240 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: because you know, I don't really have a job right now. 241 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: But when I have money again, I could go buy 242 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: an Dueno Switch. But I'm kind of like, maybe I 243 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: need to just leave that in my past. No matter 244 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 1: how much I loved Breath of the Wild, I need 245 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,719 Speaker 1: to let it go. Then there were things like books 246 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: and records and you know all the poetic things that 247 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,359 Speaker 1: you hear about in the Keith urpis, take your records, 248 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: take your freedom. Take no. Actually I will take the records, 249 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: thank you very much. I'll take the record player. Fuck off. 250 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: So the things I got in the breakup are mostly 251 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 1: I didn't have a TV for a really long time. 252 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: I just didn't really care because I was doing so 253 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: much Like after we broke up, I don't even really 254 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: watch that much TV now during Quarantine and there's a 255 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: couple shows that I get really into, but I don't 256 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: think I had a TV for like six months. And 257 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: then finally my friends were like, Kaylee, get a fucking TV. 258 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: You are a weirdo. So I got a TV, and 259 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: I got like a really small one that's like barely 260 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: a computer screen. And my friend Catherine was like, kayleie, 261 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,920 Speaker 1: get a big girl TV. So I got a big 262 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: girl TV because she gave me one, or else I 263 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: would not have done it. But yeah, I was like, 264 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: told him he could have the TV and I would 265 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 1: take all the other things. But it was really like 266 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 1: I made it seem like a sacrificial thing. I was like, 267 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: I guess you can have the television, but really I 268 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 1: just did not give two shots about it. So there 269 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,319 Speaker 1: were easy things to part with. There were difficult things 270 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: to part with, But the really shitty parts and breakups 271 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: like this aren't the material possessions. It was obviously the 272 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 1: loss of friends, which I talked about on last week's episode. 273 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: That's really difficult and how do you divide a person. 274 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 1: I mean, this makes me think of that story in 275 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: the Bible about there's two women fighting over a baby 276 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 1: and they're both saying that it's their child, and the 277 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: king is like, Okay, well what we'll do is we'll 278 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 1: cut the baby in half. And then he was like, 279 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: that's how I'll know which one of you is actually 280 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: the mother, because the one who says no, she can 281 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: have him is the actual mother. And I don't know 282 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: what was running through the other lady's mind where she 283 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, yeah, i'll take half a baby, I'll 284 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: take the torso please. What the shit? Anyways, there's a 285 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: lot of weird stuff happening in the Old Testament, but 286 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: it makes me think of that because you can't just 287 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: like cut your friends in half. But I have this 288 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: theory that Okay, picture a spectrum where I'm on one 289 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: end and my ex boyfriends on the other, and our 290 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 1: friends are dead center. So if our friends are in 291 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 1: the middle, they're too far away from either of us 292 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 1: to actually be a good friend. And being Switzerland and 293 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 1: being neutral seems like it's the adult thing to do, 294 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 1: but I actually really disagree with that, because you have 295 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 1: to pick a side, especially if it's a messy breakup 296 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 1: like you have to. You can still love the other person, 297 00:14:56,440 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: but like at the beginning, you really need to decide 298 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: who you're going to be there for, because if you're 299 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: in the middle, you're too far away from either person 300 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: to actually be a good friend. You can't actually listen 301 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: to them objectively because you're too close to both people, 302 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: but you're too far away, and then if you go 303 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: a little bit over to one side, you're just getting 304 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: further and further away from the other person, and so 305 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: you just need to commit to one person over the other. 306 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 1: And it blows my mind that in breakups sometimes people 307 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: go to the side of the person that their friend 308 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 1: introduced them to, Like it's like, oh, wait, homie, the 309 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 1: only reason my ex boyfriend knows you is because I 310 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,240 Speaker 1: introduced you to him. And I just had a friend 311 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: go through the same thing last week, and I was 312 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 1: just like, I don't know why people do that, but honestly, 313 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: pick a side when they are able to get past 314 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: it and outgrow those feelings of anger and just be 315 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: a little less resentful towards their ex, Like, then you 316 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,560 Speaker 1: can work on that friend. But it is completely within 317 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: your rights as a friend to be like, hey, you know, 318 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: they're going through a really hard time and I don't 319 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: want to get in the middle. And if I'm trying 320 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 1: to stay friends with both of you, I am, by 321 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: definition in the middle. So I'm just gonna try to 322 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: be there for them in the best way I know how, 323 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: and I'll reach out to you when I feel like 324 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,760 Speaker 1: it's an appropriate time, like that is okay. That's called 325 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 1: setting a boundary. And I promise you both sides will 326 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: probably appreciate that you did that, especially you know whosever 327 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 1: side you take, because they're going to feel supported and 328 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 1: they're not going to have to worry about what they're 329 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: telling you. You know, like people want to talk shit 330 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: at the end of a breakup, they really really do. 331 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: And if they're like, is this going to get back 332 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: to them, they're not going to feel safe with you, 333 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 1: and you're just not going to be able to be 334 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: the friend that that person needs. And it's just not 335 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 1: worth it to be Switzerland unless it's the country Switzerland. 336 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 1: The country is a great country. But you know what 337 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: I mean now, the friends were hard. But the thing 338 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 1: that still breaks my heart a lot. I'm gonna trying 339 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: not to cry when I'm talking about it is we 340 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:09,159 Speaker 1: had two dogs together and their names are Buddy and June. 341 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:15,120 Speaker 1: I got June and I got her in twenty thirteen, 342 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 1: right after I moved to Nashville. He caught her as 343 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 1: a puppy on Craigslist. She's a bad at hound lab 344 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 1: mix and she's just the spunkiest little girl. I named 345 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: after June Carter Cash and I got to watch her 346 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,640 Speaker 1: grow up from a puppy and she was the first 347 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: dog I ever had. I didn't have dogs growing up, 348 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: but I always loved them, and so it was so 349 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 1: amazing for me to finally be able to do that 350 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,360 Speaker 1: when I was nineteen. And when I first moved to town, 351 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 1: I really didn't have any friends or know anybody, and 352 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,439 Speaker 1: so it really was just me, my ex boyfriend, and June. 353 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,920 Speaker 1: And we had his childhood dog, mj there as well, 354 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,359 Speaker 1: and she was a really, really really good dog. She 355 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,399 Speaker 1: passed away pretty soon after we moved to Nashville, and 356 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 1: so June was especially important to have because she got 357 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 1: both of us through that challenge. But she was technically 358 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: my first dog, and I just adore her so much. 359 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 1: She's she's so cute and has all these like little 360 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: quirks about her, Like if you walk in the door, 361 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,639 Speaker 1: she's just gonna like like pedal her feet on the 362 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: couch and just like yell at you and then like 363 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: finally explode and just zoom across the room to go 364 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: give you kisses. And about a year after we got June, 365 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: I believe in twenty maybe it's twenty fifteen, so maybe 366 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 1: two years. After a year and a half, we got Buddy. 367 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,159 Speaker 1: And Buddy is a rescue from animal testing, So he 368 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,719 Speaker 1: came from this group called Beagle Freedom Project and they 369 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: rescue dogs out of labs and give them a second 370 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:52,199 Speaker 1: chance at life, whereas the lab would normally euthanize them. 371 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,879 Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna do a whole episode on this because 372 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: I want to be able to share the things I've 373 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 1: learned from both adopting and fostering dogs from Freedom Project. 374 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: But Buddy's a little miracle dog. He has tattoos in 375 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,879 Speaker 1: his ears from the lab and definitely some major anxiety problems, 376 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: but he's so precious and just wants to love people, 377 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 1: and it's so beautiful to watch because all people really 378 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: did the first year of his life was hurt him. 379 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,639 Speaker 1: And he's still so trusting of people and so loving 380 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: and just wants to be everybody's friend. And he came 381 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 1: with the name Buddy, which I probably wouldn't have picked, 382 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: but I couldn't imagine him being named anything else because 383 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: he's such a buddy, and he's a little be Goal 384 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 1: Lab mix and just looks like a forever puppy, Like 385 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 1: he's like a little shrunken lab and he's just the 386 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: cutest and so I put in a lot of time 387 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: and love and effort into helping him recover from his 388 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:56,399 Speaker 1: really traumatic life and give him a safe place to 389 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 1: grow up and see him turn into the very healthy, 390 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: happy dog he is today. And he really would never 391 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 1: know that he went through so much. And I just 392 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: fucking love those dogs so much. But when we broke 393 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 1: up two years ago, I was touring all the time, 394 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:21,919 Speaker 1: but I was still insistent on us having shared custody 395 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 1: of the dogs, which I know that sounds ridiculous about 396 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: him out. Basically what we would do is the first 397 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: few weeks two months that we broke up, he was 398 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 1: living with a friend and the dogs aren't really an 399 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,399 Speaker 1: option for him, so I had them, and I'm so 400 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: glad because it was a really shitty time for me, 401 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 1: and also, like living alone is kind of scary at first, 402 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: so having my animals there was really awesome. And then 403 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: he got his own place and was able to to 404 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: start taking them, so I was like, okay, well let's 405 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: go back and forth. So we'd do like two weeks on, 406 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: two weeks off, depending on my touring schedule. Sometimes it 407 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 1: would get a little bit, you know, rearrange there. But 408 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: I had to see my ex all the time. We 409 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: could just like you know, drop the dogs in a 410 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 1: neutral eccastion and I'd go pick them up. Like we 411 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,360 Speaker 1: had to see each other. I had to go over 412 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: to his house, he'd have to come over to mine 413 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: or whatever, and it was always like it was always dramatic, 414 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: and I mean the first few times, he would always 415 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,240 Speaker 1: try to like make out with me or whatever, and 416 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,920 Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, and it was just messy 417 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: and super unnecessary. But I would literally do anything for 418 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 1: those dogs, and that's why I had to eventually end 419 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 1: up letting him have them a majority of the time. 420 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 1: And then now he just has them. And I knew 421 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: that with my lifestyle traveling twenty four seven, that they 422 00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,360 Speaker 1: would you know, have to be with him and ways, 423 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 1: and then that I would have to see him or 424 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: I'd have to bring them to a kennel, which I 425 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,639 Speaker 1: wouldn't want to do, or pay for a dog sitter, 426 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,919 Speaker 1: and that just really gets really expensive on a musicians living. 427 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 1: And there were just so many different factors. But finally, 428 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 1: you know, one day, my manager was like, Kaylee, you 429 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,959 Speaker 1: just you have to stop seeing him, because it's fucking 430 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: with you, and it's keeping you in this headspace where 431 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 1: you're still going through the breakup. Like the breakup felt 432 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: so perpetual because it was just getting so dragged out 433 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,199 Speaker 1: by all of this. And yes, that was because we 434 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: lived together, but it was also because of the dogs, 435 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: and I kind of thought so our agreement was that 436 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 1: he would get the dogs and I would dog sit 437 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: whenever he went out of town. But then the problem is, 438 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 1: and I probably should have known, is that this is 439 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: a he's lied before. Why wouldn't he like again? And 440 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,400 Speaker 1: he started having other people watch them, and I would 441 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: text him and be like, Hey, I heard that so 442 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: and so watch the dogs. Or I would see something 443 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,280 Speaker 1: on Venmo where he'd like Venmo someone for pet sitting, 444 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: and I was like, what the fuck? Like we had 445 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: one term of this agreement, which was that I would 446 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 1: dog set them, and then also that like, if he 447 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: ever had to rehome them for any reason or he 448 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 1: was moving away to another state or whatever, we'd have 449 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,719 Speaker 1: to completely reevaluate the situation because I don't want a 450 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 1: new dog. I want those ones. I'm so attached to 451 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 1: them and I haven't been able to shake it at 452 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,399 Speaker 1: all like I love them so much, and so it 453 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 1: hurt really bad when he was doing that, because I 454 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: was like, God, it's just like the fucking gift that 455 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: keeps on giving, like this breakup just keeps hurting over 456 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: and over and over in new ways. And so I 457 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: don't remember the last time I've seen them. I think 458 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 1: I went over and took them out when he had 459 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,879 Speaker 1: a long work day or something one time, like maybe 460 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: like a year ago. And that sucks. That fucking blows 461 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,159 Speaker 1: so bad. And I'll always see pictures of them on 462 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 1: my phone, and like I still watch his story sometimes 463 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,720 Speaker 1: because I want to see the dogs and I have 464 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,120 Speaker 1: pictures of them, and I've had so many fans give 465 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: me presents, like someone did this beautiful drawing of June, 466 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: and another fan gave me a snow globe that has 467 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,119 Speaker 1: pictures of the dogs together in it, and I have 468 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: these things all over my room and it's just heartbreaking. 469 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 1: And like last week and the week before, I had 470 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 1: like a couple of dreams where, oh god, it just 471 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 1: sucks so bad. I had a couple of dreams where 472 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:47,399 Speaker 1: I was with the dogs and it felt so normal 473 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: and like they were there again. And I woke up 474 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 1: and I thought they were in bed with me, and 475 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,400 Speaker 1: they were, and it's I know, what sounds like dramatic, 476 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 1: And if you I haven't had a dog, it's it's like, oh, well, 477 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: it's just a dog. But it's not like when I 478 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: didn't have any friends here. I had my dog. And 479 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: when I went through the breakup, I had them. When 480 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 1: I was depressed and wasn't eating and wasn't taking care 481 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: of myself. The only thing that got me out of 482 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,159 Speaker 1: bed was having to take care of them, and I 483 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,920 Speaker 1: was able to put their needs ahead of mine because 484 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 1: I just didn't feel like taking care of myself. But 485 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 1: taking care of them was what got me up and 486 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 1: out of bed every morning and kept me from just 487 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: spiraling because I'd have to get up and go outside 488 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: and take them out and you know, see the sun 489 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: and not just completely just be a piece of shit 490 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: and stay in bed for a week straight because I 491 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:51,640 Speaker 1: probably would have otherwise. And so it's just really hard 492 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 1: and it hasn't gotten any easier, and I don't know 493 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: if or when it will. The last time I had 494 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: them full time, like while not full time, but like 495 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: when him and I were going back and forth. The 496 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,720 Speaker 1: last time I had them as like their owner, co owner, 497 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,679 Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call. It was January of 498 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:15,920 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, and that was right before my sister passed away. 499 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: So I had told my ex, you know, he could 500 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,480 Speaker 1: come get them. I was going to keep them for 501 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks and really enjoy that time with them. 502 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 1: And so he came over and picked them up. But 503 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 1: at that point, it was like the day after my 504 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,959 Speaker 1: sister passed away, so I had to not only like 505 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: leave my dogs and give them to him, but I 506 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: also had to see him. And then it was just 507 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 1: a whole mess. And I was just like sobbing, and 508 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:47,159 Speaker 1: it was just probably the worst added layer to what 509 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: was already the worst week of my life. And it 510 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: just was insult to injury. It just really hard. But 511 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,160 Speaker 1: one thing that really helped was when I went back 512 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: home for my sister's funeral. My dad had to adopt 513 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,239 Speaker 1: her children, but he also had to adopt several of 514 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,680 Speaker 1: my sister's animals as well, and I was like, Dad, 515 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: you probably need one less mouth to feed. How about 516 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 1: I take Monkey? And I think my dad might have 517 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,400 Speaker 1: actually offered, but Monkey's a cat that I've had since 518 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: I was eight years old. So he's really old. He's nineteen. 519 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 1: I think at this point his age is a little 520 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: bit nebulous, but I know he's very old and he's 521 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: like minimum nineteen years old. And so I didn't have 522 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:36,479 Speaker 1: to come back to an empty house without a pet, 523 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 1: which I think was just like the grace of God, 524 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 1: because it would have sucked. And so when I was 525 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,359 Speaker 1: going through that and really missing them, I had Monkey 526 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 1: and he's just such a good boy. He's like the 527 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: kind of cat that makes people who, hey, cats love cats, 528 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: and he's just so loving and he's amazing. And I 529 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: have to take him to the vet today because he's 530 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: lost a little bit of weight, but other than that, 531 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,520 Speaker 1: he's very healthy for his age, and he's very spunky 532 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 1: and very I got him a Christmas sweater and he 533 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,879 Speaker 1: actually really likes it, like I love him. So that 534 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 1: was the only thing that made this any easier. So 535 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: it's not a divorce, but it certainly fucking feels like one. 536 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:26,000 Speaker 1: And all I would say is I think really hard 537 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 1: before you move in with someone. I wouldn't have done 538 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 1: anything differently. I have totally accepted that this was part 539 00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 1: of my life path and I needed to go through 540 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: this to get to where I'm at right now, and 541 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 1: I'm really happy with where I'm at right now. I 542 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 1: do wish there were two little dogs here, but that's 543 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 1: the only thing I'd probably change. But think really hard 544 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 1: about it, because it's not really something you're just trying. 545 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 1: It's something that's going to affect you. Even if you 546 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: break up with them and you don't love them anymore 547 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,040 Speaker 1: and it's easier for you, You're going to be carrying 548 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,880 Speaker 1: around that guilt knowing that it was hard for them 549 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 1: and that they were going through all this stuff, and 550 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 1: it's just makes things ten times messier. So if you're 551 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: going to move in with someone, don't do it so 552 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 1: you can save money on rent. Don't do it because 553 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 1: you feel like you have to do it because you've 554 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 1: thought long and hard about it and you are pretty 555 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: positive this is the person you're gonna end up with 556 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. So the day I 557 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 1: wrote the song the one on my album with Savannah 558 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,160 Speaker 1: Kaies and Skip Black. I've talked a little bit about 559 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 1: this on the podcast and in interviews, but I wrote 560 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 1: that ten hours after him and I broke up, and 561 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 1: that was just a fucking day, And I went in 562 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: the studio and I almost didn't want to go, but 563 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, being with Savannah and 564 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 1: Skip always feels like therapy. I just kind of want 565 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: to be around people I know love me and won't 566 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: judge me, and so I went into the right We 567 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 1: wrote the one which ended up on my album, but 568 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: we also wrote this other song that didn't, and it's 569 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 1: called Couch, and so I wanted to play it for 570 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 1: you because it's about, you know, dividing up your things, 571 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 1: and it's very on point with this topic. So that's 572 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 1: why this episode is called Who Gets the Couch? And 573 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 1: this is my son Stanning at the ceiling fan Spenning 574 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:26,480 Speaker 1: like my world that's in your hand, which I could 575 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 1: have said I'd seen this coming, like it was written 576 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: in the start of something. Stanning at the same fan broken, 577 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 1: Like that door you said you would fix. I didn't 578 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:51,959 Speaker 1: know then that you would walk out of it, saving 579 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: off for tickets, making plans for forever anywhere we go. 580 00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: It's show up together. Now we're broken, Like don't you 581 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 1: said you face? You took your pride out. I took 582 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: it hard. You have your future and oh your guitars. 583 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 1: Now I'm sitting in an empty room. You'll still belong 584 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: to me, can't you? A million questions in my head, 585 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:31,200 Speaker 1: but all that comes out, it's who kids the couch? 586 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:43,040 Speaker 1: Left a picture on your nightstand like it's some kind 587 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 1: of message, like I don't give it down if I 588 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 1: need a manner that I'm broken hearted. Baby, there's a 589 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: manon in this apartment. I don't need a picture on 590 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 1: your own. Nice stay girl. Took your pride now to 591 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 1: get hard. You have your future all of good size. 592 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 1: Now I'm sitting in and em save you, still lovesong 593 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:23,640 Speaker 1: to me, get you among getting questions in my habit 594 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 1: all that comes out? So who gets the castle? We 595 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 1: saved up for? Made out on? Where you help me? 596 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:36,080 Speaker 1: When I cried? Call your friend with the truck? You 597 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: canno have it? It's I'm too tired out of fight. 598 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 1: You took your pride. I took it hard. You took 599 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 1: my future and all your good size? How the hell 600 00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: do we move on and move out? A million questions 601 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,920 Speaker 1: in my head? But then all that comes out, Yeah, 602 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: so who gets the couch? Who gets the couch? I've 603 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: always loved that song and it was so important for 604 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,760 Speaker 1: me to write, and I just want to say thank 605 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 1: you to Savannahkiz and Skip Blackford always letting me be 606 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 1: honest and transparent and cry and write. And I'm happy 607 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 1: that I got to play that song for you, guys, 608 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,360 Speaker 1: if you are wondering, it's been two years now, and 609 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,360 Speaker 1: the fate of the couch. What ended up happening was 610 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: he took the love seat, I took the couch, and 611 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,480 Speaker 1: now that couch is in my new boyfriend's house, so 612 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,720 Speaker 1: I don't live with him, but I gave him my 613 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 1: couch because I didn't need it anymore anyways, and you'll 614 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,400 Speaker 1: get it. So thank you, guys so much for tuning in. 615 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,280 Speaker 1: Moral of the story here is if you're going through 616 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 1: something like this, your pain is valid. But people survive 617 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: crazy things. I've survived crazy things, and you will wake 618 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: up one day and not think about them. And you 619 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: will wake up one day and look at I don't know, 620 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 1: a pillow or an end table or a book or 621 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 1: whatever something you used to have in your house together, 622 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 1: and you're gonna just be like, oh, yeah, that's a 623 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 1: pillow or an end table or a book. It's it's 624 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:35,319 Speaker 1: not an embodiment of that person. So if you have 625 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,239 Speaker 1: gone through something like that, sending you my love. I 626 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: know it really fucking sucks, but I made it through 627 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,920 Speaker 1: it and I got a king bettle to myself now. 628 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,759 Speaker 1: I love that for me. Thanks for tuning in. My 629 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 1: name is Kailee Shore and this is too much to say. 630 00:34:49,080 --> 00:35:02,080 Speaker 1: See you next Wednesday. Have it out of you. You 631 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 1: m