WEBVTT - #178 It's time to part ways. 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:01.920 Break up with her. That's what you would say to 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:06.200 any of your best friends. You would be hating your 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:11.720 friend if you said stay with her, just please her 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:14.640 as much as you can. Luke, you would hate your 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.680 friend if you told him that you know this. If 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:31.160 this was you, you'd say, break up with her. Well, 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:33.840 what's up, guys, Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for coming 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:35.519 back or being here for the first time. What I 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:39.000 do here is answer your questions. You send me anything 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:44.559 to Grainger Smith podcast at gmail dot com. Any subject 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:53.280 will do. We see him all over the place about life, love, relationships, god, work, career, dreams, 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:59.200 really could be about anything, songwriting, guitar playing, it doesn't matter. 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:01.480 We'll put it into the cue. My only thing is 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.320 don't say don't ask the same question twice in two 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:07.039 different emails, and don't make it too long because it 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:09.360 makes it hard to read for the podcast itself. But 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:11.640 I love doing this. I don't have any notes in 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:15.200 front of me, any you know, famous quotes or anything 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:18.800 to quip back to you. I'm just gonna speak what's 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:21.000 on my heart as if we're just riding in the 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:25.600 truck together. And the first question here subject line says 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:29.240 writer's block, it says. I've been following you and your 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:33.000 family's YouTube channels for a bit now, and I feel 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:34.640 like you have a lot of irons in the fire. 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:37.440 I've been a caregiver three years now for my husband 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:39.880 who is suffering with dementia, and I feel like my 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:42.760 creative life has come to a screeching halt. Do you 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:47.840 ever experience writers or creative creators block for whatever reason? 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:52.080 Do you ever experience writers or creator's block for whatever reason? 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:56.160 And what do you do to overcome it? Susan Uma, 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:59.840 Arizona man. First of all, Susan, thanks for emailing you. 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.639 Remember that movie three ten to Yuma. Loved that movie 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:08.800 so much. There's an old prison from the West that's 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:11.280 in Yuma, and I've always wanted to visit it. It's 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:13.920 so far down south that usually if I'm going west, 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:16.480 Yuma is below me and I don't make it that 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.560 far south south. And so of all the towns in 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:22.200 the US that I've been to, which is thousands of 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:25.800 towns we've traveled to, I've never been to Yuma, Arizona, 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:28.320 and I've always wanted to just because of the old 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:32.440 West connection there. So shout out to a really cool town. 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:36.360 And thank you for sharing something so vulnerable on a 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:39.640 podcast like this where you could just be completely exposed 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:44.320 something that's something that's weighing on your mind here. And 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:48.320 God bless you for being the caregiver for your husband 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:53.160 suffering with dementia. We stand with you, We hear you. 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:57.240 That's not easy to do, and so my hat's off 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:00.840 to you. Now. Your question is how, so how do 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:05.840 you get past writer's block when you are in a 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:08.880 situation where all of your energy and mental strength that 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:12.120 is being poured into one situation and as you say, 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.520 you feel like your creative life has come to a 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:19.600 screeching halt. Understandable. I have felt that many times in 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.680 my life. You are not alone in thinking that or 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.920 feeling that. So let's dive into a few things that 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:29.320 maybe I've tried over the years. And one thing right 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:33.560 off the top of my head is taking walks. Man, 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.760 I have to take walks. And you're right, as you 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:38.080 said at the beginning of your email, I have a 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.040 lot of irons in the fire, and I go a 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:43.280 lot of different directions. I have to really time block 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:46.400 and make sure that, okay, between this hour and this hour, 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.160 I'm doing this, and then at this hour, I'm doing 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:52.160 the podcast, and then I'm moving on to after Midnight, 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:54.720 and then I'm doing promos for after Midnight. Then I'm 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:57.280 shooting the Smiths, and then I have another promo video 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.880 to shoot for a truck video. And then I have 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.280 to work on the set list, and then I have 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:04.720 to work on you have to talk to about stage production. 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.400 Then I have to do my studying, which is takes 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:09.800 hours and hours and hours. Then I have to worry 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.080 about songwriting or then I have to get this post 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.840 ready for social media. I also have to be a 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:19.880 dad and a father, and there's there's a lot of stuff, 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:21.640 a lot of irons in the fire. I have to 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:24.640 take walks. I have to shut down and take everything 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:30.000 out of my ears and off my plate and get 0:04:30.000 --> 0:04:33.480 out and just walk. And I like to do this 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:36.280 for like a mile minimum. I like to go out 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.040 and I use my watch to time myself. I'll get 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.719 out there and walk for a mile with just the 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:47.159 birds singing and cars passing by occasionally that that seems 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.880 to be a good way to clear some stuff out. 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:55.640 And then I get back and I'm usually refreshed that way. 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:58.680 I have I have a limit, and I typically will 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.320 push that limit. If for doing two hours of deep work, 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.000 I'll dive in. In about two hours, I'm just crushed, 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.240 Like my brain just feels numb. It feels like I've 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:11.040 been working out that muscle like it like I'm working 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:14.400 out in a gym and I'm just over exercising the 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:17.760 brain mine does that, it just starts to turn to mush. 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.680 So if I get it to the two hour mark, 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:23.039 which I hate to do a lot of times, I 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:26.800 get there, I got to pull back and go get 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:30.720 a walk. That doesn't always help right right right off 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:34.440 the bat, Susan, There's another thing to be said for 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:38.800 writer's block, that sometimes it's just gonna happen and you 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:41.840 got to let it go. For six months a year 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:43.880 I've been in I've been in a writer's block for 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:52.640 fifteen months before, sixteen months before. Absolutely I cannot remember 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:56.560 the last song I wrote before my song Forever Forward 0:05:56.600 --> 0:06:02.720 for the Moonrise soundtrack, but it was about fourteen months 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:08.360 before I wrote a song. And when I say that, 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:11.600 sometimes time will go by and I will try, but 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:14.960 nothing really good is coming. It's not a lack of trying, 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.320 but so one way to look at this, Susan is 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.600 it's okay if you have writer's block for whatever kind 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:24.800 of thing you're writing. I'm writing a book right now, 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.719 and the book that i'm I'm pretty much finished. But 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.159 I've noticed that that part of my brain to write 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:36.640 the book is very similar to writing a song. It's 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:39.840 the same part of the brain. It utilizes a different 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.440 creative tool, but it's the same part of brain that 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:46.240 you have to access through writer's block. And you're gonna 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:49.400 have to realize, Susan, this sometimes you just can't access it. 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:53.040 Sometimes it's the door you just can't get in. Sleep 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:54.840 has a lot to do with it. We got to 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:59.679 bring that up. Sleep. You know, I usually get about 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:03.120 six and a half hours every night consistently. I wake 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:06.560 up at my alarm goes off at five point fifteen, 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:09.360 and I'll hit snooze once and I usually get out 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.840 of bed at five twenty five. A lot of times 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:15.160 I think that's not enough. I need to get up 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:17.960 earlier because there's too much stuff going on in the 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:20.720 day to accomplish. And this is seven days a week. 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.120 I don't have. I don't have like a day where 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:25.880 I just I get to sleep longer. There's not that 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:29.560 there's not that day. Ever, there's three sixty five for me. 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:35.080 So if I don't get seven, though, that's kind of 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.560 the key for me, seven hours. If I don't get seven, 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:40.960 I'm hurting. And so if I'm preparing maybe maybe I'm 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.920 writing a sermon. I'm preparing a sermon, which I just 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:47.400 got finished delivering a sermon this past Sunday at the 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:53.000 San Antonio Rodeo. So I delivered that sermon, and I 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:56.040 find myself in writer's block, just like the book, just 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.440 like songwriting, and I could trace it back a lot 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:02.560 of times too, just the sleep I got the night before. 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:04.800 And if I get my seven hours, which is what 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.760 my body loves. If I get my seven hours, then 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:09.800 riding the sermon all of a sudden is easier that 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:13.960 next day. So let's kind of recap here, take a walk, 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.640 realize that sometimes you can't get through that door. And 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:21.360 number three, sometimes you just didn't get enough sleep. You 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:25.120 could retry the next day. I hope that helps. That's 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:29.160 like the light brush of what writer's blot could be. 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.040 And we could talk more about that. If you want 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:38.640 to discuss it more, we can go deeper. All our 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:43.200 next question subject line says pending divorce. Hey grangeur try 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:47.160 to make this quick. Here. My name is Brian. Oh, 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:51.080 excuse me, pronounced Bren. Good. My name is Bren. I'm 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.760 twenty eight years old. I've been married for two almost 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:56.280 three years. My wife and I have been together for 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:59.760 a total of five We have two beautiful children and 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:03.480 what I thought was a strong family. I've been a 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.000 stay at home dad for the last year and a half. 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:09.360 Last December, she told me one day out of the 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:12.480 blue that she was filing for divorce and I had 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:16.240 two weeks to get out. I was absolutely devastated, but 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:19.000 I understood because for the past five years I did 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:22.880 nothing but treat her terribly. I lied to her constantly, 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:27.800 stole money I saw, stole money that I saw laying around, 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:31.360 racked up some credit cards, decided to emotionally cheat on 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:36.280 her by texting and sexting women probably twelve times. Truth is, 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:38.480 I love my wife with everything in me, and I'm 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:42.959 so ashamed of this me that I have become. Recently, 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:46.120 I've rededicated my life to Christ. But she still says, 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:50.560 I'm not interested in you and I'll never take you back. 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:53.880 She says. The most recent thing she told me is 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.480 that if I could hold a job for a year 0:09:57.040 --> 0:10:00.160 and be an adult, she would consider starting over with 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.880 with me. How can I save my marriage, how can 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:06.520 I show her that I am a new man of Christ? 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:10.360 And most importantly, how can I survive a year apart 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.679 from my family and kids. I'm hurting right now. Side note, 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.079 you have high five me at your concert in Huntington, 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:20.240 West Virginia. It was one of the most awesome moments. Thanks, brother. 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:23.199 I hope to hear from you soon. Bren Cooper, Bren, 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:26.480 thanks for the email. Brother, Thanks for opening up something 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:32.080 that's heavy, heavy on your heart, and I feel for you. Man. 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.080 I'm going to recap in my head because I read 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:37.400 these for the very first time, as you guys hear them. 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:41.959 So you're twenty eight. You've been twenty eight years old, 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.720 been married for two almost three years, we'll call it 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:48.000 three three years. You've been together with your wife for 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:52.560 five you have two beautiful children. And then we're talking 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:55.800 about last December, she files for divorce. You say, out 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:57.679 of the blue, but we come to find out it 0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:01.080 wasn't really out of the blue because you had a feeling. 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:05.040 You also found out you had two weeks to get 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:08.240 out when she filed. So this is all happening quickly, 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:12.360 even though you probably knew you were playing with fire, 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.000 and it's not a huge surprise. You're not surprised at 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:20.320 all because of your actions. What has happened. You don't 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:23.920 expect to get out of jail free card here. You 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:27.880 know that, I know that everybody listening knows that you 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:32.240 don't get off free here, Brot. You don't get a 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:34.560 lot of times. Second chances are hard to come by. 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:40.720 It's George Strait song, by the way. So you're asking 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:43.920 this interesting two sentences here that stuck out to me 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:48.880 that you put back to back. You said, here, here's 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:53.679 the first sentence, she told me that if I can 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:57.040 hold a job for a year and be an adult, 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:01.840 she would consider starting over with me. The next sentence 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:09.760 directly after that, says, how can I save my marriage? 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:13.440 I'm not a counselor. I'm not a therapist. I'm not 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:18.439 a psychologist, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a sociologist. 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.000 I'm just a normal dude, bran. But when you put 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:27.400 those sentences back to back, it's like it's like saying 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:34.520 the dog is the dog is sick. You take the 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.080 dog to the vet right and you, and the vet 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.480 says the dog is sick. You gotta change the dog food. 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:45.040 And then you ask me, Bran, Hey Granger, how do 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:50.240 I save my dog? I go, the vet just told 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:54.800 you to change the dog food. Your wife just told 0:12:54.840 --> 0:13:02.080 you give her a year, basically, hold a job for 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.520 over a year and be an adult, and she will 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:08.599 consider starting over with you. So the first thing I 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.760 would say into saving your marriage, the first step, is 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:17.360 that that's what she needs you to do. You say, here, 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:23.240 I hope you know I'm not dogging on you. I 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:27.040 would not answer this question if I didn't love you, Brin, 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:30.920 if I didn't feel for you, if I didn't see 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:34.319 you in this hurting position, I would just skip over 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.440 the email. I would delete it. But I'm doing this 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:40.320 because I love you, man, and I know you're a fan, 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:43.200 and I appreciate you listening, and I want to give 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:46.120 you the hard truth. If I give you anything less 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:50.679 than hard truth, anything less than tough, love is not love. 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:56.480 It's just me pacifying you, right, It's just me trying 0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:00.439 to be cool and hope that you like me. I'm 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.800 not concerned whether you like me or not. Brand I 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.840 just want to tell you the truth. Here. Look what 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:11.280 you said, the truth everything, It's all revealed in your language. 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:15.319 In your email, you said, I've been a stay at 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:20.280 home dad for the last year and a half. Come on, man, 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:23.280 what you've been a stay at home dad for the 0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:25.920 last year and a half. That's the language you're gonna use. 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.960 And then she comes back and says, look, dude, I'll 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.160 consider coming back if you could hold a job for 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:37.000 a year. That tells me that the truth is you 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:41.680 can't hold down a job. You're being a child. You're 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:43.800 twenty eight years old, but you're acting like a child. 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.560 You call it stay at home dad. She says, you're 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:50.480 a bum. Dude, you can't hold a job. That's what 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:53.280 your wife said. I'm not saying she's perfect. I'm sure 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:56.080 she's made mistakes too, but looking at the situation from 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:58.280 the outside, you say I've been a stay at home 0:14:58.360 --> 0:14:59.680 dad for the last year and a half and my 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:05.800 wife leaving me, she says, you're a bum. Get a job. 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:08.880 I didn't ask for this stay at home dad thing, 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.520 that's what she says. I didn't ask for you to 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.280 be a stay at home dad. I asked for you 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.480 to be a husband. And a provider, get a job, 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:23.440 hold it, stop sexteen twelve women. Stop treating your wife terribly. 0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:28.760 You say you've rededicated your life to Christ. Show me, 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:34.320 Paul says, test yourselves. Test yourselves, make sure you're in 0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:38.160 the faith. Are you in or you out? Test yourselves. 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:41.040 You'll know them by your fruits. You will know by 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:47.800 your fruits. One of the fruits of the spirit is 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:53.480 self control. Control yourself, briand be a man, act like 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:59.800 a man, get a job, respect yourself, respect others. Hold 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:03.680 this thing down. You say, how do I save my marriage? 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:06.920 First of all by meeting the first criteria? She says, 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:10.680 hold a job for a year. That's what she says. 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.720 You say, yes, ma'am. You want to save this marriage. 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:17.640 You love this woman. Say yes, ma'am, whatever it takes. 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:22.840 Be honest with you. Brn. I don't know if you're 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:28.640 gonna do that, though your track record says you won't. 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:31.640 And I say that in a way to dig at you. 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:38.160 You're gonna take that from me. You're gonna take me 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:40.600 declaring that on this podcast in front of all these 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:42.920 people that are listening right now. You're gonna take me 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:45.160 saying that I don't think you could do it. Brn. 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.800 The reaction I want you to have is, wait a minute, 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:52.920 I'll prove it to you. I'll prove it. Okay, let 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.920 me hold you accountable. Then email me twelve months from now. 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.680 I challenge you, Bren. Email me twelve months from now 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.720 and say, man, I did it. I held down a job. 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:12.800 I did exactly like she told me. She says, hold 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:17.840 down a job and be an adult, insinuating two things. 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:21.240 One you can't hold down a job. Two you're acting 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:28.440 like a child. Test yourselves. Don't know them by their fruits. 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:34.480 That's what Jesus said. Rededicate your life to Christ. Let's 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:39.640 all talk unless you show me, unless you show her, 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:53.040 show us. We'll see. Let's take a break. Beer right back. Hey, 0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:55.480 thank y'all for listening to the podcast. It really makes 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.440 my day. I love being able to share this platform 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:00.920 with you in this kind of form, and I appreciate 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:02.760 that you could also check out Amber. Did you know 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:05.840 she has her own podcast now. It's called A Rise 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:08.959 with Amber, So wherever you're listening to this, you can 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:12.199 find on the same format Ambers Arise with Amber. You 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:15.679 could also find me on cameo. Cameo dot com allows 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:18.119 you to go and get a video message from me, 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:20.679 made custom for anybody, one of your friends, or your 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.760 family members, or even for you yourself. You tell me 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:25.840 what to say on my phone on the video and 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.360 I send it to you. Super simple. Cameo dot com 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:32.320 slash Grangersmith could also download the cameo app and search 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:35.080 for me granger Smith. Love you guys. Back to the podcast. 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:42.560 All right, back to the podcast. We're gonna jump right 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:44.520 back in here. If you want to email me and 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.880 have your question read on here, email me Grangersmith podcast 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:50.880 at gmail dot com. A promise I won't be mad 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:52.640 at you if you do. I promise I won't yell 0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:58.000 at you much. Next question, subject line says working as 0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:00.520 a girl. Hello. My name is Sadie. I live in 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:03.480 northern Idaho. I'm fifteen years old. People around here in 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:05.840 my church and community tend to say that a girl 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:10.000 should just help around at home and not work, or 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:13.080 go to college, or just wait to find a husband 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:15.520 who can provide for them. Let me read that again. 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:19.840 People around here in my church and community tend to 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:22.560 say that a girl should just help around at home 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:25.680 and not work, or go to college and just wait 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:29.119 to find a husband who can provide for them. It 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:33.040 really frustrates me when they say this. I believe that 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.760 you should try and save as much as you can 0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:39.720 until you get married, so that then you could have 0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:43.040 something to kickstart your married life. What are your thoughts 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:46.080 about this? How much money do you think people should 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:50.000 save before getting married? Thanks for all you do. I 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:52.040 really love the podcast. God bless you and your family. 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:56.200 She has a little asterisk here it says a quote 0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:58.880 that I'm trying to live by. Is this earn all 0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:02.000 you can say, all you can give, all you can 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:07.760 John Wesley. All Right, Sadie, thank you so much. I 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:12.080 just love it when a fifteen year old emails me 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:16.800 some pretty deep thinking questions, and the first thing I 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:19.959 think is, Man, I was so dumb at fifteen, Sadie. 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:24.960 I was so dumb at fifteen. I was not thinking 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:30.959 like you at all at all. I was thinking about 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:38.280 football and girls and guitars. Football, girls and guitars pretty 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:44.080 much preoccupied my stupidity of my fifteen year old brain 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:48.760 that I had at the time. So man, so encouraging 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:52.120 that you're thinking you have some future thoughts like this, 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:55.480 So let's dive into it. Okay, let's dive into your question, 0:20:56.280 --> 0:21:01.040 and I really like that quote. By the way, Earnli 0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:02.719 can't say, but you can't give all you can. I 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:07.840 think that's I think that's pretty good first part of 0:21:07.880 --> 0:21:12.159 your discussion. Here. People around here in my church and 0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:16.040 community tend to say that a girl should just help 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:20.040 around at home and not work, or go to college 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.359 and just find and just wait to find a husband 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:25.520 who can provide for them. Let's just start with just that. 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:33.280 What do you think, Sadie, you're fifteen. I don't like 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:36.560 that you are kind of left with this stuff to 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:40.600 wrestle with as a fifteen year old girl. But I 0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:42.919 would ask you if we were sitting in a truck 0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:45.120 driving down a road you brought this up, I'd say, 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:47.560 what do you think? What does your heart tell you? 0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:54.440 When you hear that, it sounds like it sounds like 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:59.080 a community that's stuck a little bit. It sounds like 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:03.920 a community that not moving forward in anything that they're 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:09.800 thinking about. It sounds like people that haven't really been 0:22:09.800 --> 0:22:14.239 involved too much in the culture. And that is not 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:18.119 a bad thing. By the way, we don't need to 0:22:18.160 --> 0:22:21.680 get involved with the culture. We don't need to always 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:25.439 be forward thinking when it comes to culture. But I 0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:29.040 want you to realize that you are not that generation. 0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:33.680 You're not your mother's generation or your grandmother's generation or 0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:38.239 your great grandmother's generation. They had very different ways of 0:22:38.280 --> 0:22:42.400 life than because of the circumstances surrounding them, which equals culture. 0:22:42.840 --> 0:22:47.720 So you are in a different circumstance. College is different 0:22:47.960 --> 0:22:51.520 now than it was for the previous three generations when 0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:59.080 it even existed. It's different now. A current lifestyle is 0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:03.159 just different now. So without bringing the word culture into 0:23:03.200 --> 0:23:08.240 this is a different time. You know this. That's why 0:23:08.520 --> 0:23:11.280 you're bucking against it and you're emailing me this kind 0:23:11.280 --> 0:23:19.800 of question. Right, So let's say this, God makes man 0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:23.800 and woman very unique in different ways so that they 0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:29.040 can excel and compliment each other. Like that's the ultimate goal, 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:33.760 is to compliment each other in what they do. When 0:23:33.800 --> 0:23:37.680 you are not married, right, when you aren't married yet 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:41.359 and you don't have anyone to compliment, then that's kind 0:23:41.359 --> 0:23:46.919 of irrelevant. Does that make sense? So if you're not married, 0:23:47.840 --> 0:23:51.960 then you're not a homemaker. If you don't have kids, 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:56.879 you're not a mother. That sounds ridiculous, but we're just 0:23:56.920 --> 0:23:59.040 got to start with the facts here. If you don't 0:23:59.080 --> 0:24:02.160 have children, then you don't have to act like a mother. 0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:05.920 If you're not married, you don't have to act like 0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:13.200 a homemaker. Right Also, if you want to make plans 0:24:13.240 --> 0:24:16.639 to go to college because you're not married yet, you 0:24:16.720 --> 0:24:22.479 don't have children at all, do it. It doesn't matter 0:24:22.680 --> 0:24:27.840 what your community says, because you'll deal with that. You'll 0:24:27.880 --> 0:24:32.560 deal with giving your best attribute as a mother, as 0:24:32.600 --> 0:24:34.800 a wife, you'll deal with that when you are a 0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:39.639 mother and a wife, which you're not, and you don't 0:24:39.680 --> 0:24:43.200 need much preparation for that because you just know how 0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:48.639 to do it. That's what makes it so beautiful is 0:24:48.680 --> 0:24:53.120 that one day God will and you'll get pregnant and 0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:58.240 you will just know what to do. Right now, it's 0:24:58.280 --> 0:25:02.359 springtime and Texas, early spring time in Texas, right very 0:25:02.400 --> 0:25:05.560 early spring right now. I love this time of year 0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:10.439 because I see all the birds starting to gather for 0:25:10.520 --> 0:25:15.320 their nest. And every time that happens every year, it 0:25:15.480 --> 0:25:21.080 just amazes me that these mama birds start collecting just 0:25:21.480 --> 0:25:25.239 the right pieces that they need to put together for 0:25:25.280 --> 0:25:29.880 the nest that that species of bird uses like some 0:25:29.920 --> 0:25:36.800 birds use trash like yarn, hair from animals, little pieces 0:25:36.800 --> 0:25:39.479