WEBVTT - Normalize Platonic Love Feat. Black Girls Texting 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.200 Hey, y'all, Welcome back to Tribe July. Today, we are 0:00:05.280 --> 0:00:08.360 joined by the lovely ladies of Black Girls Texting, and 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:11.479 you can expect to hear us talking about the different 0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:14.960 types of friendship styles, how us women are way more 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:18.520 willing to foster relationships and resolve conflicts with our romantic 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:22.200 partners before our friends, the importance of showing love and 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:25.800 affection in our friendships, and how to have healthy conversations 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:30.120 with our friends when we're hurt, and how our parents' 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:33.600 disciplinary styles may have influenced our ability to deal with conflict, 0:00:34.120 --> 0:01:16.520 and so much more. Stay tuned and enjoy. 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:01.280 Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choice. I'm Erica and. 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:06.160 I'm Mela, and it's wednesdayby Hola, Happy Wednesday. 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:07.240 Happy Wednesday from New York City. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.960 New York City is kicking my motherfucking ass today. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:13.520 First of all, we're jet setters. Last week we're in 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:15.240 Costa Rica. This week we're in New York. 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:18.440 It's okay, but also New York is kicking my ask today. 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:21.679 I'm fucking hot as shit here. And I thought the 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:24.520 valley was hot. I thought the Costa Rican jungle was 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.560 hot and seem me but and I know nigause in 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.760 New York, be like complaining about the heat and I'd. 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:32.320 Be like, oh, like relax, today I felt it. 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.560 I feel weak. I like barely made it up the stairs. 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:38.520 I'm kind of shaking, like I actually feel like a 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.600 little jittery, like I did coke or something like. 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:41.840 I don't know what's wrong. 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:43.000 But you know what it is. 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:48.320 It's it's heat plus subway plus backpack plus slow ash children. 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.880 Like It's like, if I'm want to be intended to 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:53.360 do public transportation, I have to be free and need 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:55.920 to be wearing only booty shorts and cow girl boots. 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:56.600 But I can't. 0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:59.560 And we went to lunch with Jade from Getting Grown 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:02.880 podcast before this, and we were like, let's take the train, 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:05.040 and she was like acting like she was cool with it, 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:06.800 and then the low key she was like, bitch, I 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:09.480 haven't taken the train in five years. And I was 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.560 like really, She's like no, but I'll do this for you, 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:14.160 and I was. 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:14.880 Like it's fine. 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.400 And the moment we got off the train and we 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:19.800 hit that heat and just all of it, I was like, 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:21.280 I'm never taking the train again. 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:23.000 It's not for me. 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:24.240 By the way, I just meant to tell you we're 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:25.720 taking an uber home. 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:27.560 No fucking shit, bitch, I'm glad we're on. 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:30.160 Oh shit, I'm hot and you would think I'm skinny 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:33.360 and like in shape, but I'm not. Like three sets 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:39.080 of steps and it's a done deal. I'm wheezing. I'm unhappy. 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:39.720 I'm pissed. 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:44.880 But anyway, we're here. We love New York. So many questions. 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:48.320 Not only are you in New York, but we're joined 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:53.160 by our friends from Black Girl texting finally inhuman Yay. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.240 We met you all in COVID and I know aparly 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:58.280 we meant walked in. I was like, hey, bitch, I 0:02:58.280 --> 0:02:59.720 know what it did. 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.160 And now for real, it's so interesting how Covid did that, 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:06.240 like you connect with so many people, and because now 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.079 I'm starting to meet even Jade, like this is the 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:09.640 first time I met her too, and I was like, 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:11.960 I feel like I know you, bitch, Like we done 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.080 haven't we done did this before? Right, like even this 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:15.680 sitting down with you guys. So thank you guys so 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:19.040 much for coming back on this ship. How small you 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:23.840 are and I was like, everyone's always surprised by Jamila's size. 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.440 Everyone's like, oh my god, you're so small, and I'm like, 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:27.960 really because I don't feel that small. 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:29.000 I feel tall and sick. 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:35.000 But someone wanted to wait, we're at this party. First 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.040 to you and they were like, are you from good 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:38.760 Mom's Bad Chorts. They're like, oh my god, Jamila, I 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:39.560 just want to put you on. 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:41.960 My back and carry you. Like like you should have 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:42.800 made her, you should have. 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:45.920 Told her she did it. She was like please, didn't wait, 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:48.600 She's like, please leading with you? Please, can I pick 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.600 you up? We're at like a dinner party. It wasn't 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:51.680 like a crazy party. 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:55.640 It wasn't the part they made single Mom's dinner evenge Wait. 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.320 She picked me up, and then after she was like, 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.440 I just have this thing about with like dwarves. 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.800 And minutes shut up. She's like I know you're She's like, 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:03.120 I know. 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:03.600 You're not one. 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:06.600 You're not one, but like I always put them on 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:09.120 my back. So thanks, like you really helped her fulfill 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:10.160 some sort of fantasy. 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:12.400 I'm happy that's small you guys. 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:14.760 Yeah, I wouldn't say dwarf or miss. 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:17.880 We don't have long legs in the long neck, so 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:20.320 I appear much taller than I am, and my personality 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:22.799 is large, so larger in charge. 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:24.799 Wait, was this your first time riding the subway? 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:26.680 No? 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:28.400 No, I mean every time I do it, I'm like, 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:29.080 I don't, I don't. 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:30.159 This is not for you, you know what. 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:31.760 I'm trying to be sex in the city. 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:33.800 I actually have lived in New York a few times, 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:35.760 but I don't, you know, I'll be forgetting. And that's 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:37.320 every time I moved to New York. I'd be forgetting too, 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:39.160 because I was like, damn as cold as fuck here, 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:40.839 Like why the fuck did I move back here? But 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:42.600 now it's different too, because I have a child and 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:45.480 I'm doing navigating the subway, Whereas I feel like when 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:47.440 I'm alone, like I can just get it going quick. 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:48.440 I'm in and out with her. 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:51.280 I'm like, come on, she's swinging around the goddamn pole. 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:55.159 I have out pull at my house. So the girls 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.120 are like, come on. As soon as as the train 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:00.320 takes off, trouble get them this swing. I'm like, everyone's 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:01.080 looking at us. 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:05.280 I'm yelling, Jamila is calm. I'm just like, what the fuck? 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:11.039 No, did you see any like the train performers like show, yeah. 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:14.040 You get cursed out. I saw somebody got cursed out, 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:15.480 and the kids were like, yeah, I was. 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:18.560 Talking about it for days. 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:19.720 I'm like, welcome to New York. 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:21.320 Yeah, excitement. 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:24.679 We're native New Yorkers and you guys are native l layers, layers. 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:27.680 Where are you all from? I'm from Brooklyn, Brooklyn. 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:30.960 Well, first of all, let's introduce you guys. Okay, yeah, okay. 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.400 We have black girls texting here. We have Chelsea and 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:36.160 shotgg Gwendolyn isn't joining us today because the bitch is late. 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:44.320 It's not she got when when when it's Lenen and 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:47.839 Glen le. 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:52.240 Okay, Glenn, the bitch. I hear she's working, but like 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:56.120 she'd be playing Glynn, how you gonna be playing on 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:59.560 the playing Okay, because here's my point, Like she takes 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:01.480 her job to seriously I'm working. 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:03.320 Oh my god, we have a friend like that. I 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:03.760 have a friend. 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:06.880 Though my laptop is right here, like if someone needs me, 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.239 not she takes her jackey into the area. 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:13.800 It's like it's not life. She's clocked it even though 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:15.359 she's like virtually working from home. 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.680 But like, but I would have been, like she could 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.719 have taken after I need my AC needs to be installed, 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:23.320 so i'm'll be remote because the niggas don't need you 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:23.760 in the office. 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:24.640 Fuck are you doing so. 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:26.960 Basically saying lie to your job and then go on 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:28.880 camera and post it correct. 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:31.880 And they don't know when about not quite often I do. 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:32.440 They don't know. 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:34.040 They don't know, they don't know when it was, the 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:35.760 hour of the day, morning, night. 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:37.240 It could have been like an old. 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.359 A later gram or you know, fuck that job. You 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:41.880 don't know what job I'm even referring to. 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:43.200 I got many. 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:46.720 I wasn't talking about you. I'm talking about my side job. 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:51.840 You know, I sell jeans on the internet picks. 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.240 So you guys are New York natives. And how did 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.279 you guys meet and how did you guys become friends? 0:06:56.600 --> 0:07:00.679 We met in high school through my first boyfriend, who 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:02.560 thinks he took my virginity. 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:03.720 But he didn't. I love that. 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:07.320 Now into the story he thinks he took your virginity. 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:09.880 Oh wait, so y'all go all the way back. Yes, okay, 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:12.520 because this month we're really focusing on tribe and community 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:13.920 and like talking about friendship. 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:15.440 It's what are you calling it? July? 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:16.800 Tribe tribe July? 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:19.840 Because it takes a village a mom, I mean to 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:24.440 raise a children, to raise a children, Aline, I'm gonna 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:26.280 be real. We just smoked weed and then we got 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:30.400 on the train and so like the heat plus the weed, 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:31.760 you know, forgive us. 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:35.640 It takes a village to raise a woman, a mother, 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.840 a child, all of it together. It's not just motherhood. 0:07:38.920 --> 0:07:42.280 It's like, you know, friendship, And I think I think 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:43.920 you guys know that too. You guys have a you know, 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:45.760 black girls texting, y'all are your little You have a 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:47.360 tribe and I'm sure you have other tribe members that 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:49.320 are you know, not part of the podcast. 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:50.559 Did that holds you down? 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.480 And I just like, I think this month highlighting that 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:56.120 because I we get so many people reaching out to 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:57.880 us like I don't have any friends, so like I 0:07:57.880 --> 0:07:59.560 don't know where to start, or like I don't know 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:01.400 where to even and start. As an adult, you know, 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:04.200 it's harder to make friends, and especially when you become 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.840 a mom, like finding people that understand what you're going through. 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:07.800 It's a whole other shit. 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.720 But we recently discovered we didn't realize it was a thing, 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:12.880 but one of our people were like, I love your 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:17.080 platonic friendship, your platonic love. I'm like, what do you mean, 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.600 Like we love each other, We're not fucking And she's like, 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:20.600 we didn't know it was a. 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:22.679 Thing, but like we do. We're co parents. 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.760 We we live, our kids are in camp together, we 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.440 vacation together, we work together. We love each other. We 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.760 consult with each other. If you checked the bank account, 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:32.199 I'm gonna tell you how much is in there because 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:32.640 we need to know. 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:33.480 I'm like, I don't want to know. 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:37.640 She's like, you're gonna know, Wendy, did you guys meet? 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:38.960 Was this later in life? 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:43.120 Five years ago? So we're new? No way? I love that. 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:45.640 I well, I'm like, it's funny that you said like 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:48.559 it takes a village with friends, because I feel like 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:50.240 I'm gonna be the first one to have a baby. 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:53.600 Probably yes. And then like is it weird? 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.160 I mean yes, which don't say, like, oh days that 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.120 birth control of bitch, she's not on birth control, which 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:02.600 is are you just risky over here? 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:06.839 Pull risk your whole life? But like was it weird? 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:09.079 Like were you like the first ones out of your 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:11.000 friendship friends to have kids? 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:12.680 Oh? Yeah, I mean I mean that's really I think 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:15.640 even that's why we have the podcast because we didn't 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:18.359 really have any mom friends, Like we had zero community 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:21.640 prior really to the podcast, like Jamila was really my 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:24.040 only mom friend and now I like I have. 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:26.960 So we became friends because nobody else had a kid 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:30.000 in our friend group. In fact, we met because we 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:32.000 have a friend, a mutual friend, and we saw each 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:33.720 other on Instagram and I was like, that bitch has 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:35.800 a baby. Why don't you introduce me to that bitch 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:37.439 because we know what, I'll have no friends with the baby. 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:39.079 And we started to just like hang out on that 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:41.560 and then we started the podcast together. Even at that 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:44.280 point we weren't best friends or even really close. And 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:47.240 then as we started to talk a lot, here we are. 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:50.280 So do you suggest a pregnancy path with friends? 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:51.959 No? Girl life is? 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:54.800 What's one of my friends is like dead ass serious? 0:09:55.520 --> 0:10:00.240 He's like, hey, let's have a pregnancy path. She's you 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:01.559 want to have them together? 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:05.120 You do, but just because it's Sady's time, don't know. 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:07.280 I need to be the center of attention. Bitch, you 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.320 get your baby in like two years. Okay, everyone pay 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:11.719 attention to me. Help me, so comfort me. 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:14.360 Okay, Well don't you think it'd be nice to be like, 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:17.480 oh my god, my titties are spilling the milk. 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.840 Okay, maybe you have like one person, maybe you have 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:20.760 a pregnancy package. 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:23.319 One person. Now I'm thinking packed themthing in Like all five, 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.719 y'all get pregnant. That's giving. That is a lot of hormones, 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:28.079 and someone's gonna get cut. 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.280 Everybody's relationship doesn't even add up like that, Like, bitch, 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:34.439 you'll go fund yourself trying to get fucked on the 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:36.440 right time because you get no, no, no, no, no no. 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:39.040 You got to really, really, really really think about that 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.480 baby daddy. And I doubt everybody's baby daddy situation aligns 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.560 at the same time as their friends. I feel like 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:48.000 sometimes women force force family and force baby because I 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:50.080 think it's that time in their life. 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.720 And bitch, no it's not. You need to rethink. 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.719 I have more questions about that, but I'm going to 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:57.240 put a pin in that for our episode. 0:10:56.800 --> 0:10:59.960 Because do I have a story for y'all. Yes, you guys. 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:03.760 If you guys get motherfucking Oh, I can't wait tell 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.840 you this tea yet? Oh shit, you get the fresh 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:11.800 tea piping hot. Yeah, if you guys keep listening, this 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:15.640 episode is going to then go over to Black Girl's texting, 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:16.640 So it's a it's a. 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:17.480 Part two start. 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.040 Stay tuned stay tuned. 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:23.679 When are you, like, I don't know, this is a 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:26.079 dumb question, but like, how do you know when you're 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:26.760 ready for kids? 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:28.199 Are you even ever ready for kid? 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:28.400 No? 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:30.679 Never, because I feel like I'm getting that it it 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:34.400 never happens. You're getting that itch. No, I don't listen. 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.679 I will say that you there is a maternal thing 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:38.560 that happens where you feel like you're ready to like 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.200 do that, but actually ready and prepared for what's about 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:43.960 to happen. No, there's no way you can do it 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.280 until until it happens. You can buy all the ship, 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:48.160 you can read, all the books, you can fucking YouTube 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:48.480 You're life. 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:50.559 I think it's so cute and like happy and look 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:53.200 at her with her like overalls and she's pregnant. 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.080 But I feel like you also like and I don't 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:57.839 want to speak for you, so tell me if I'm wrong, 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:01.080 but I feel like you're like, Okay, first comes love, 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:04.800 then comes marriage, baby carriage kind of bit and like 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:07.080 so you're like, yo, my ring is coming. You know 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.520 it's like baby, you know what's coming. No, she knows 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.160 it's coming. She knows, like it's happening. 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:14.600 But why, Chelsea, what's your son again? I'm a Capricorn. 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:20.880 About that, I was like, oh, yeah, sounds about correct, 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.320 sounds about. 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.240 I got three bitches friends just like you, Capricorn. 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:26.240 But like if. 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:29.000 You guys get engaged and then you get married, let's 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:30.439 say this is like a two year process. Like are 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.160 you like, yo, I'm jumping into the baby, like right away. 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:35.120 You don't want to have like marital bliss. No, I 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:38.439 want to have marital bliss. She's like six, my dude, So. 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.880 Then no, it's some other way, girl. 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.520 I know. I just so you're gonna have one and 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.040 then I'll babysit yours. 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:49.280 Listen, Babies are babies, are children are a blessing for sure. 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.559 I think me and Jamila just have PTSD post traumatic 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:56.760 baby daddy disorder. So you know, we love those niggas 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:59.920 too at one point and now we don't, so I mean, 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.520 will always have love for them, but it's just different. 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:05.040 It's changed. Our relationship has changed. Those people we don't 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:07.240 really know anymore, and they don't really know us anymore. 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.240 And we've just outgrown one another. And you know, when 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.280 you in your mind set up your life, I'm going 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:13.840 to have a child, I'm going to raise this family. 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:16.760 You imagine it as a two parent unit, and so 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:20.440 I think the undoing of that idea has been very painful, 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:23.680 but also the birth of this podcast and why we 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:24.480 and now. 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:25.760 I wouldn't change it for the. 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:29.080 World, you know, but I think we all that to 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:32.959 say is just like I think, be careful, but also 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:34.079 enjoy it. 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:38.360 It's the most beautiful. It is soiful. Are you anti 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:38.960 birth control? 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.600 I am, but I'm also a fertile ass bitch. But 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:44.520 I don't think I'm not fertile. There's no way. 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:48.560 But it is the most beautiful experience. I highly recommend it. 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:50.120 I highly recommend. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:51.840 Motherhood for but there's still no preparation for it. 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:54.600 No, can we just have a talk about this. 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:58.679 So you maybe fucking someone consistently and you're always using 0:13:58.840 --> 0:13:59.600 a condom. 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:03.079 You know they pull out method, Come on, that does 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.960 not work. But it doesn't not all the time. Look 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:07.320 at home, mom, you have a baby. 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:10.360 I wasn't pulling out. I don't. I don't advocate for 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:11.520 this message. Anyone listening. 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:13.880 No, no, no, this is not this message. 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:15.840 But I am not a medical doctor. 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:17.240 I don't know what the. 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:21.160 Pull up method works for some reason. Not shoot up 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:22.800 the club like the club is closed. 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:23.520 It depends. 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:26.320 First of all, it depends who you're fucking and of 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:27.800 how good their pull out game is. 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.760 But also, you guys, this is a p s A announcement. 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:35.320 Okay, women, bitches be thinking the like the tea is 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:37.280 is that women are always trying to trap a nigga 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.200 and make him stay and like start a family or 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:41.040 have a checklist. 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:42.440 But I have news for you, bitches. 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:47.320 These niggas be trying to jam a bitch up right, 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:51.240 maybe trying to lay their seat and baby, and then 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:53.120 you'd be all confused because the dick is good, and 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.760 you're like, okay, did you hear what Nick Cannon said? 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:57.320 What is this what he does when he has X 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.520 with people with Well, he was saying that he j 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:04.600 t in kh Karsha. They were on his podcast or 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.120 show and they were like, you should start wrapping it up, 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:09.520 and he was like, I'm having these babies on purpose. 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.200 How do you feel about that? Having a punty Well. 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.720 Obviously obviously the woman invited it and agreed to it. 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:16.760 Was he on some hotep shit. 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.400 The way he said it, I stopped watching. 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.080 But I think his idea is like he's like stable, 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:23.720 he has enough money to take care of them. But 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:25.600 my thing is, you don't have enough hours in the 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:27.440 day to take care of all the minds. 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.280 Is he bringing these women together to raise all these 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:32.480 children together? Do these women get along because at the 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.360 end of the day, he can't possibly father all of 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:38.320 them equally, And well, yeah, it's not possible. I don't 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.040 give a fuck how much money you have. And these 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:44.160 niggas really think that paying equals Daddy of the year. 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:45.000 It doesn't. 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:45.360 It does. 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:46.800 I don't give a fuck if you pay for all 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.920 their goddamn schools, tuitions, all the babysitters. If you don't 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:52.520 show up, it doesn't fucking matter. And even if you 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.080 try your best to, someone along the way is going 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:59.240 to suffer in some capacity. Maybe suffers dramatic, but yeah, 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.360 in some way, not get all of you, not know 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:04.000 all of you, And you're not going to know all 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.520 of every single one of your children because you're having 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:08.520 eight of them. And do they all even live in 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:11.080 the same like do they live in the same states? 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:15.080 Like I definitely subscribe to the village, Like, you know, 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:17.200 coming back to what this month's theme is is like 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.480 we had this, we had someone on at the beginning 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:23.040 of the month, no, Nique Dowdy, and she is, you know, 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:27.320 she is intentionally choosing to be a single parent and 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:28.800 leaning on the community and. 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:30.240 The village to help raise her child. 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:34.040 And being in Costa Rica and seeing the community around her, 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.280 I was like, Wow, she really does have a community here. 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.800 People will pick up and help the community, and that's 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.560 really like, that's how it's been from the beginning. And 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.760 I fully support her and I support that idea. But 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.200 unless the he is is he bringing these women together 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.160 to help support all these children high. 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:51.600 I don't know. 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:56.400 He may may, and it's super irresponsible to me, it's 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:59.640 super I responsible, And I don't know. I think about 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:02.640 this a lot because I am there's five of us, 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:06.400 but we all have different parents or different dads. 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:07.640 So like there's the. 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:10.400 Two from my dad, but one is from his first 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:15.199