Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, Welcome back to Tribe July. Today, we are
Speaker 1: joined by the lovely ladies of Black Girls Texting, and
Speaker 1: you can expect to hear us talking about the different
Speaker 1: types of friendship styles, how us women are way more
Speaker 1: willing to foster relationships and resolve conflicts with our romantic
Speaker 1: partners before our friends, the importance of showing love and
Speaker 1: affection in our friendships, and how to have healthy conversations
Speaker 1: with our friends when we're hurt, and how our parents'
Speaker 1: disciplinary styles may have influenced our ability to deal with conflict,
Speaker 1: and so much more. Stay tuned and enjoy.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choice. I'm Erica and.
Speaker 1: I'm Mela, and it's wednesdayby Hola, Happy Wednesday.
Speaker 3: Happy Wednesday from New York City.
Speaker 2: New York City is kicking my motherfucking ass today.
Speaker 1: First of all, we're jet setters. Last week we're in
Speaker 1: Costa Rica. This week we're in New York.
Speaker 2: It's okay, but also New York is kicking my ask today.
Speaker 2: I'm fucking hot as shit here. And I thought the
Speaker 2: valley was hot. I thought the Costa Rican jungle was
Speaker 2: hot and seem me but and I know nigause in
Speaker 2: New York, be like complaining about the heat and I'd.
Speaker 3: Be like, oh, like relax, today I felt it.
Speaker 2: I feel weak. I like barely made it up the stairs.
Speaker 2: I'm kind of shaking, like I actually feel like a
Speaker 2: little jittery, like I did coke or something like.
Speaker 3: I don't know what's wrong.
Speaker 4: But you know what it is.
Speaker 1: It's it's heat plus subway plus backpack plus slow ash children.
Speaker 1: Like It's like, if I'm want to be intended to
Speaker 1: do public transportation, I have to be free and need
Speaker 1: to be wearing only booty shorts and cow girl boots.
Speaker 4: But I can't.
Speaker 2: And we went to lunch with Jade from Getting Grown
Speaker 2: podcast before this, and we were like, let's take the train,
Speaker 2: and she was like acting like she was cool with it,
Speaker 2: and then the low key she was like, bitch, I
Speaker 2: haven't taken the train in five years. And I was
Speaker 2: like really, She's like no, but I'll do this for you,
Speaker 2: and I was.
Speaker 3: Like it's fine.
Speaker 2: And the moment we got off the train and we
Speaker 2: hit that heat and just all of it, I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm never taking the train again.
Speaker 4: It's not for me.
Speaker 2: By the way, I just meant to tell you we're
Speaker 2: taking an uber home.
Speaker 3: No fucking shit, bitch, I'm glad we're on.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, I'm hot and you would think I'm skinny
Speaker 1: and like in shape, but I'm not. Like three sets
Speaker 1: of steps and it's a done deal. I'm wheezing. I'm unhappy.
Speaker 1: I'm pissed.
Speaker 3: But anyway, we're here. We love New York. So many questions.
Speaker 1: Not only are you in New York, but we're joined
Speaker 1: by our friends from Black Girl texting finally inhuman Yay.
Speaker 3: We met you all in COVID and I know aparly
Speaker 3: we meant walked in. I was like, hey, bitch, I
Speaker 3: know what it did.
Speaker 2: And now for real, it's so interesting how Covid did that,
Speaker 2: like you connect with so many people, and because now
Speaker 2: I'm starting to meet even Jade, like this is the
Speaker 2: first time I met her too, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I feel like I know you, bitch, Like we done
Speaker 2: haven't we done did this before? Right, like even this
Speaker 2: sitting down with you guys. So thank you guys so
Speaker 2: much for coming back on this ship. How small you
Speaker 2: are and I was like, everyone's always surprised by Jamila's size.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, oh my god, you're so small, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: really because I don't feel that small.
Speaker 4: I feel tall and sick.
Speaker 2: But someone wanted to wait, we're at this party. First
Speaker 2: to you and they were like, are you from good
Speaker 2: Mom's Bad Chorts. They're like, oh my god, Jamila, I
Speaker 2: just want to put you on.
Speaker 3: My back and carry you. Like like you should have
Speaker 3: made her, you should have.
Speaker 5: Told her she did it. She was like please, didn't wait,
Speaker 5: She's like, please leading with you? Please, can I pick
Speaker 5: you up? We're at like a dinner party. It wasn't
Speaker 5: like a crazy party.
Speaker 2: It wasn't the part they made single Mom's dinner evenge Wait.
Speaker 1: She picked me up, and then after she was like,
Speaker 1: I just have this thing about with like dwarves.
Speaker 3: And minutes shut up. She's like I know you're She's like,
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 4: You're not one.
Speaker 2: You're not one, but like I always put them on
Speaker 2: my back. So thanks, like you really helped her fulfill
Speaker 2: some sort of fantasy.
Speaker 4: I'm happy that's small you guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't say dwarf or miss.
Speaker 1: We don't have long legs in the long neck, so
Speaker 1: I appear much taller than I am, and my personality
Speaker 1: is large, so larger in charge.
Speaker 4: Wait, was this your first time riding the subway?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: No, I mean every time I do it, I'm like,
Speaker 4: I don't, I don't.
Speaker 3: This is not for you, you know what.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to be sex in the city.
Speaker 2: I actually have lived in New York a few times,
Speaker 2: but I don't, you know, I'll be forgetting. And that's
Speaker 2: every time I moved to New York. I'd be forgetting too,
Speaker 2: because I was like, damn as cold as fuck here,
Speaker 2: Like why the fuck did I move back here? But
Speaker 2: now it's different too, because I have a child and
Speaker 2: I'm doing navigating the subway, Whereas I feel like when
Speaker 2: I'm alone, like I can just get it going quick.
Speaker 3: I'm in and out with her.
Speaker 2: I'm like, come on, she's swinging around the goddamn pole.
Speaker 1: I have out pull at my house. So the girls
Speaker 1: are like, come on. As soon as as the train
Speaker 1: takes off, trouble get them this swing. I'm like, everyone's
Speaker 1: looking at us.
Speaker 2: I'm yelling, Jamila is calm. I'm just like, what the fuck?
Speaker 6: No, did you see any like the train performers like show, yeah.
Speaker 1: You get cursed out. I saw somebody got cursed out,
Speaker 1: and the kids were like, yeah, I was.
Speaker 3: Talking about it for days.
Speaker 4: I'm like, welcome to New York.
Speaker 3: Yeah, excitement.
Speaker 6: We're native New Yorkers and you guys are native l layers, layers.
Speaker 3: Where are you all from? I'm from Brooklyn, Brooklyn.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, let's introduce you guys. Okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: We have black girls texting here. We have Chelsea and
Speaker 2: shotgg Gwendolyn isn't joining us today because the bitch is late.
Speaker 7: It's not she got when when when it's Lenen and
Speaker 7: Glen le.
Speaker 5: Okay, Glenn, the bitch. I hear she's working, but like
Speaker 5: she'd be playing Glynn, how you gonna be playing on
Speaker 5: the playing Okay, because here's my point, Like she takes
Speaker 5: her job to seriously I'm working.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, we have a friend like that. I
Speaker 3: have a friend.
Speaker 5: Though my laptop is right here, like if someone needs me,
Speaker 5: not she takes her jackey into the area.
Speaker 3: It's like it's not life. She's clocked it even though
Speaker 3: she's like virtually working from home.
Speaker 5: But like, but I would have been, like she could
Speaker 5: have taken after I need my AC needs to be installed,
Speaker 5: so i'm'll be remote because the niggas don't need you
Speaker 5: in the office.
Speaker 3: Fuck are you doing so.
Speaker 1: Basically saying lie to your job and then go on
Speaker 1: camera and post it correct.
Speaker 3: And they don't know when about not quite often I do.
Speaker 3: They don't know.
Speaker 2: They don't know, they don't know when it was, the
Speaker 2: hour of the day, morning, night.
Speaker 4: It could have been like an old.
Speaker 3: A later gram or you know, fuck that job. You
Speaker 3: don't know what job I'm even referring to.
Speaker 4: I got many.
Speaker 3: I wasn't talking about you. I'm talking about my side job.
Speaker 1: You know, I sell jeans on the internet picks.
Speaker 2: So you guys are New York natives. And how did
Speaker 2: you guys meet and how did you guys become friends?
Speaker 6: We met in high school through my first boyfriend, who
Speaker 6: thinks he took my virginity.
Speaker 3: But he didn't. I love that.
Speaker 2: Now into the story he thinks he took your virginity.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, so y'all go all the way back. Yes, okay,
Speaker 2: because this month we're really focusing on tribe and community
Speaker 2: and like talking about friendship.
Speaker 3: It's what are you calling it? July?
Speaker 4: Tribe tribe July?
Speaker 1: Because it takes a village a mom, I mean to
Speaker 1: raise a children, to raise a children, Aline, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be real. We just smoked weed and then we got
Speaker 1: on the train and so like the heat plus the weed,
Speaker 1: you know, forgive us.
Speaker 2: It takes a village to raise a woman, a mother,
Speaker 2: a child, all of it together. It's not just motherhood.
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, friendship, And I think I think
Speaker 2: you guys know that too. You guys have a you know,
Speaker 2: black girls texting, y'all are your little You have a
Speaker 2: tribe and I'm sure you have other tribe members that
Speaker 2: are you know, not part of the podcast.
Speaker 3: Did that holds you down?
Speaker 2: And I just like, I think this month highlighting that
Speaker 2: because I we get so many people reaching out to
Speaker 2: us like I don't have any friends, so like I
Speaker 2: don't know where to start, or like I don't know
Speaker 2: where to even and start. As an adult, you know,
Speaker 2: it's harder to make friends, and especially when you become
Speaker 2: a mom, like finding people that understand what you're going through.
Speaker 3: It's a whole other shit.
Speaker 1: But we recently discovered we didn't realize it was a thing,
Speaker 1: but one of our people were like, I love your
Speaker 1: platonic friendship, your platonic love. I'm like, what do you mean,
Speaker 1: Like we love each other, We're not fucking And she's like,
Speaker 1: we didn't know it was a.
Speaker 4: Thing, but like we do. We're co parents.
Speaker 1: We we live, our kids are in camp together, we
Speaker 1: vacation together, we work together. We love each other. We
Speaker 1: consult with each other. If you checked the bank account,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you how much is in there because
Speaker 1: we need to know.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't want to know.
Speaker 5: She's like, you're gonna know, Wendy, did you guys meet?
Speaker 5: Was this later in life?
Speaker 3: Five years ago? So we're new? No way? I love that.
Speaker 6: I well, I'm like, it's funny that you said like
Speaker 6: it takes a village with friends, because I feel like
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be the first one to have a baby.
Speaker 3: Probably yes. And then like is it weird?
Speaker 4: I mean yes, which don't say, like, oh days that
Speaker 4: birth control of bitch, she's not on birth control, which
Speaker 4: is are you just risky over here?
Speaker 3: Pull risk your whole life? But like was it weird?
Speaker 4: Like were you like the first ones out of your
Speaker 4: friendship friends to have kids?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I mean I mean that's really I think
Speaker 2: even that's why we have the podcast because we didn't
Speaker 2: really have any mom friends, Like we had zero community
Speaker 2: prior really to the podcast, like Jamila was really my
Speaker 2: only mom friend and now I like I have.
Speaker 1: So we became friends because nobody else had a kid
Speaker 1: in our friend group. In fact, we met because we
Speaker 1: have a friend, a mutual friend, and we saw each
Speaker 1: other on Instagram and I was like, that bitch has
Speaker 1: a baby. Why don't you introduce me to that bitch
Speaker 1: because we know what, I'll have no friends with the baby.
Speaker 1: And we started to just like hang out on that
Speaker 1: and then we started the podcast together. Even at that
Speaker 1: point we weren't best friends or even really close. And
Speaker 1: then as we started to talk a lot, here we are.
Speaker 4: So do you suggest a pregnancy path with friends?
Speaker 3: No? Girl life is?
Speaker 6: What's one of my friends is like dead ass serious?
Speaker 6: He's like, hey, let's have a pregnancy path. She's you
Speaker 6: want to have them together?
Speaker 4: You do, but just because it's Sady's time, don't know.
Speaker 2: I need to be the center of attention. Bitch, you
Speaker 2: get your baby in like two years. Okay, everyone pay
Speaker 2: attention to me. Help me, so comfort me.
Speaker 5: Okay, Well don't you think it'd be nice to be like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, my titties are spilling the milk.
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe you have like one person, maybe you have
Speaker 2: a pregnancy package.
Speaker 3: One person. Now I'm thinking packed themthing in Like all five,
Speaker 3: y'all get pregnant. That's giving. That is a lot of hormones,
Speaker 3: and someone's gonna get cut.
Speaker 1: Everybody's relationship doesn't even add up like that, Like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you'll go fund yourself trying to get fucked on the
Speaker 1: right time because you get no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: You got to really, really, really really think about that
Speaker 1: baby daddy. And I doubt everybody's baby daddy situation aligns
Speaker 1: at the same time as their friends. I feel like
Speaker 1: sometimes women force force family and force baby because I
Speaker 1: think it's that time in their life.
Speaker 4: And bitch, no it's not. You need to rethink.
Speaker 5: I have more questions about that, but I'm going to
Speaker 5: put a pin in that for our episode.
Speaker 3: Because do I have a story for y'all. Yes, you guys.
Speaker 5: If you guys get motherfucking Oh, I can't wait tell
Speaker 5: you this tea yet? Oh shit, you get the fresh
Speaker 5: tea piping hot. Yeah, if you guys keep listening, this
Speaker 5: episode is going to then go over to Black Girl's texting,
Speaker 5: So it's a it's a.
Speaker 3: Part two start.
Speaker 4: Stay tuned stay tuned.
Speaker 6: When are you, like, I don't know, this is a
Speaker 6: dumb question, but like, how do you know when you're
Speaker 6: ready for kids?
Speaker 3: Are you even ever ready for kid?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 6: Never, because I feel like I'm getting that it it
Speaker 6: never happens. You're getting that itch. No, I don't listen.
Speaker 2: I will say that you there is a maternal thing
Speaker 2: that happens where you feel like you're ready to like
Speaker 2: do that, but actually ready and prepared for what's about
Speaker 2: to happen. No, there's no way you can do it
Speaker 2: until until it happens. You can buy all the ship,
Speaker 2: you can read, all the books, you can fucking YouTube
Speaker 2: You're life.
Speaker 1: I think it's so cute and like happy and look
Speaker 1: at her with her like overalls and she's pregnant.
Speaker 5: But I feel like you also like and I don't
Speaker 5: want to speak for you, so tell me if I'm wrong,
Speaker 5: but I feel like you're like, Okay, first comes love,
Speaker 5: then comes marriage, baby carriage kind of bit and like
Speaker 5: so you're like, yo, my ring is coming. You know
Speaker 5: it's like baby, you know what's coming. No, she knows
Speaker 5: it's coming. She knows, like it's happening.
Speaker 3: But why, Chelsea, what's your son again? I'm a Capricorn.
Speaker 5: About that, I was like, oh, yeah, sounds about correct,
Speaker 5: sounds about.
Speaker 4: I got three bitches friends just like you, Capricorn.
Speaker 3: But like if.
Speaker 5: You guys get engaged and then you get married, let's
Speaker 5: say this is like a two year process. Like are
Speaker 5: you like, yo, I'm jumping into the baby, like right away.
Speaker 5: You don't want to have like marital bliss. No, I
Speaker 5: want to have marital bliss. She's like six, my dude, So.
Speaker 3: Then no, it's some other way, girl.
Speaker 4: I know. I just so you're gonna have one and
Speaker 4: then I'll babysit yours.
Speaker 2: Listen, Babies are babies, are children are a blessing for sure.
Speaker 2: I think me and Jamila just have PTSD post traumatic
Speaker 2: baby daddy disorder. So you know, we love those niggas
Speaker 2: too at one point and now we don't, so I mean,
Speaker 2: will always have love for them, but it's just different.
Speaker 2: It's changed. Our relationship has changed. Those people we don't
Speaker 2: really know anymore, and they don't really know us anymore.
Speaker 2: And we've just outgrown one another. And you know, when
Speaker 2: you in your mind set up your life, I'm going
Speaker 2: to have a child, I'm going to raise this family.
Speaker 2: You imagine it as a two parent unit, and so
Speaker 2: I think the undoing of that idea has been very painful,
Speaker 2: but also the birth of this podcast and why we
Speaker 2: and now.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't change it for the.
Speaker 2: World, you know, but I think we all that to
Speaker 2: say is just like I think, be careful, but also
Speaker 2: enjoy it.
Speaker 3: It's the most beautiful. It is soiful. Are you anti
Speaker 3: birth control?
Speaker 5: I am, but I'm also a fertile ass bitch. But
Speaker 5: I don't think I'm not fertile. There's no way.
Speaker 2: But it is the most beautiful experience. I highly recommend it.
Speaker 2: I highly recommend.
Speaker 4: Motherhood for but there's still no preparation for it.
Speaker 3: No, can we just have a talk about this.
Speaker 5: So you maybe fucking someone consistently and you're always using
Speaker 5: a condom.
Speaker 1: You know they pull out method, Come on, that does
Speaker 1: not work. But it doesn't not all the time. Look
Speaker 1: at home, mom, you have a baby.
Speaker 3: I wasn't pulling out. I don't. I don't advocate for
Speaker 3: this message. Anyone listening.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, this is not this message.
Speaker 3: But I am not a medical doctor.
Speaker 4: I don't know what the.
Speaker 2: Pull up method works for some reason. Not shoot up
Speaker 2: the club like the club is closed.
Speaker 3: It depends.
Speaker 1: First of all, it depends who you're fucking and of
Speaker 1: how good their pull out game is.
Speaker 3: But also, you guys, this is a p s A announcement.
Speaker 1: Okay, women, bitches be thinking the like the tea is
Speaker 1: is that women are always trying to trap a nigga
Speaker 1: and make him stay and like start a family or
Speaker 1: have a checklist.
Speaker 4: But I have news for you, bitches.
Speaker 1: These niggas be trying to jam a bitch up right,
Speaker 1: maybe trying to lay their seat and baby, and then
Speaker 1: you'd be all confused because the dick is good, and
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, did you hear what Nick Cannon said?
Speaker 6: What is this what he does when he has X
Speaker 6: with people with Well, he was saying that he j
Speaker 6: t in kh Karsha. They were on his podcast or
Speaker 6: show and they were like, you should start wrapping it up,
Speaker 6: and he was like, I'm having these babies on purpose.
Speaker 3: How do you feel about that? Having a punty Well.
Speaker 1: Obviously obviously the woman invited it and agreed to it.
Speaker 3: Was he on some hotep shit.
Speaker 4: The way he said it, I stopped watching.
Speaker 6: But I think his idea is like he's like stable,
Speaker 6: he has enough money to take care of them. But
Speaker 6: my thing is, you don't have enough hours in the
Speaker 6: day to take care of all the minds.
Speaker 2: Is he bringing these women together to raise all these
Speaker 2: children together? Do these women get along because at the
Speaker 2: end of the day, he can't possibly father all of
Speaker 2: them equally, And well, yeah, it's not possible. I don't
Speaker 2: give a fuck how much money you have. And these
Speaker 2: niggas really think that paying equals Daddy of the year.
Speaker 3: It doesn't.
Speaker 4: It does.
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck if you pay for all
Speaker 2: their goddamn schools, tuitions, all the babysitters. If you don't
Speaker 2: show up, it doesn't fucking matter. And even if you
Speaker 2: try your best to, someone along the way is going
Speaker 2: to suffer in some capacity. Maybe suffers dramatic, but yeah,
Speaker 2: in some way, not get all of you, not know
Speaker 2: all of you, And you're not going to know all
Speaker 2: of every single one of your children because you're having
Speaker 2: eight of them. And do they all even live in
Speaker 2: the same like do they live in the same states?
Speaker 2: Like I definitely subscribe to the village, Like, you know,
Speaker 2: coming back to what this month's theme is is like
Speaker 2: we had this, we had someone on at the beginning
Speaker 2: of the month, no, Nique Dowdy, and she is, you know,
Speaker 2: she is intentionally choosing to be a single parent and
Speaker 2: leaning on the community and.
Speaker 3: The village to help raise her child.
Speaker 2: And being in Costa Rica and seeing the community around her,
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, she really does have a community here.
Speaker 2: People will pick up and help the community, and that's
Speaker 2: really like, that's how it's been from the beginning. And
Speaker 2: I fully support her and I support that idea. But
Speaker 2: unless the he is is he bringing these women together
Speaker 2: to help support all these children high.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: He may may, and it's super irresponsible to me, it's
Speaker 5: super I responsible, And I don't know. I think about
Speaker 5: this a lot because I am there's five of us,
Speaker 5: but we all have different parents or different dads.
Speaker 3: So like there's the.
Speaker 5: Two from my dad, but one is from his first
Speaker 5: marriage and the other is adopted. So yes, same marriage,
Speaker 5: same family, but like technically, like lineage wise, like it's
Speaker 5: not the same. And then my mom had two kids
Speaker 5: on her own, two different people, and then me, so
Speaker 5: like we're all over the place, and like I definitely
Speaker 5: see there's a difference in the dynamic of people. Like
Speaker 5: one of my sisters her dad ain't shit trash. The
Speaker 5: other one was kind of like a picture dad like graduation, Yes,
Speaker 5: like showed up at the monumental monumental dad like that.
Speaker 5: And then my dad was like he's somehow still with
Speaker 5: my mother.
Speaker 3: God bless him. She's a lot.
Speaker 5: And like they really leaned into him as like a
Speaker 5: father figure, which I think is amazing. But I always
Speaker 5: like wonder, like, ugh, like how weird must that feel?
Speaker 5: So I really want to go the Courtney Kardashian room
Speaker 5: and just have one baby daddy, even if that Nigga's trash.
Speaker 6: That no no, no, no, no no no, not just so
Speaker 6: that they have the same dad.
Speaker 2: It's that one baby daddy. I mean, maybe Scott's great.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't watch the Kardashians.
Speaker 4: It seems like Scott is doing He's not a great
Speaker 4: he's not.
Speaker 5: He's not a great person, but he's like a leanden
Speaker 5: dad seeming like on Instagram.
Speaker 4: It's different.
Speaker 2: Correct, Like little girls when they look at their dads
Speaker 2: and they see how the women that they date and
Speaker 2: like how they navigate their life, that.
Speaker 3: Affects them too. I mean it's it's you can show up.
Speaker 2: There's so many there's so many layers to parenthood and motherhood,
Speaker 2: Like you can't just throw a check, you.
Speaker 3: Can't just show up, like daddy when you show up,
Speaker 3: Like how are you showing up? You know what I mean?
Speaker 3: And it's like, you know, it's.
Speaker 2: Really I think it's it's such a gift to be
Speaker 2: a parent because so many people can't be parents, and
Speaker 2: it's I feel like you really should try to be
Speaker 2: intentional if you're gonna do it, if you're gonna choose
Speaker 2: to do it, you.
Speaker 4: Know, and intentional doesn't necessarily mean like, oh, you know, I.
Speaker 1: Had a baby with him already, I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant again by him, I'll just do it again.
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't always look like that, Like if for
Speaker 1: you your family, it looks different, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: maybe not perfect, but different. And just because like for us,
Speaker 1: we have babies with someone that didn't work out with
Speaker 1: and if we do decide to have other kids, it's
Speaker 1: not gonna be with that nigga, it's because it didn't
Speaker 1: work out.
Speaker 4: And that's okay too, And like.
Speaker 1: Maybe this next stepdad will have you know, some fathering
Speaker 1: that has to do in this child's life. And I
Speaker 1: expect that and maybe they'll have a kid and I'll
Speaker 1: mother that. Like I think this idea that you know
Speaker 1: who's your the mother and father figure are just like
Speaker 1: so standard, like you get married, then you have a baby,
Speaker 1: and then this is perfect. Like it rarely happens that way,
Speaker 1: and I think as women we have to be open
Speaker 1: to it, like maybe looking differently, or maybe it's just
Speaker 1: like you platonically parent with your friend, but your babies
Speaker 1: are cared for, you know, and like maybe you're the
Speaker 1: uncle or your friend that's a guy comes through and
Speaker 1: as the male figure. So it's just more about like
Speaker 1: it's not necessarily like this checklist of meet and nick,
Speaker 1: get fall in love, get married, have a baby, happily
Speaker 1: ever after, you know, like sometimes that shit looks different
Speaker 1: and there's other people that have to contribute to that
Speaker 1: village and people pick up or other people left off,
Speaker 1: and like, obviously our goal is to fall in love
Speaker 1: and maintain a family and a household, and it be
Speaker 1: that way, but it's just not always that way.
Speaker 2: Well do you think because you saw your parents, you've
Speaker 2: obviously they've grown up with both your parents in the household,
Speaker 2: Like does that make you feel like you because you're
Speaker 2: not ready to have children, right, so you don't feel
Speaker 2: pressed to do that, but you've had an example of
Speaker 2: that in your own home. Is there is there a
Speaker 2: reason why or is it just because you're like I
Speaker 2: know that that's possible, and I'm a wait till it
Speaker 2: feels all the way.
Speaker 3: Right or yeah, until it feels right.
Speaker 5: And I think because like I love my parents and
Speaker 5: like they had uncle. Well, actually, technically my dad did
Speaker 5: do it very conventionally, like he married this woman had
Speaker 5: a kid at twenty two.
Speaker 3: I think it's old.
Speaker 5: So that was like normal back in the day, and
Speaker 5: then it didn't work out and now he's with my mom.
Speaker 5: But then when I see the dynamic with my mom
Speaker 5: and like she tried with the two other men and
Speaker 5: it didn't really work out, Like I'm always.
Speaker 3: Like, oh my god, it's so awkward.
Speaker 5: Like I know my sisters are like like they don't
Speaker 5: have that dynamic, and so I guess my paranoia is
Speaker 5: around like if I mix it up too much, I'm
Speaker 5: playing Roulette.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but who knows they're playing roulette either way.
Speaker 3: Girl, Yeah, it's roulette the whole life.
Speaker 5: Let life like one way of doing it, And I
Speaker 5: guess that's what the tribe thing is about too, Like
Speaker 5: you basically alluded to this like okay, fine, like maybe
Speaker 5: baby daddy is like but then you might have like
Speaker 5: uncle blah blah blah or godfather this or that or
Speaker 5: other people that can kind of like help aid in
Speaker 5: that for sure.
Speaker 3: Wait, how old are you guys again? Twenty eight? Twenty five?
Speaker 5: I'm like, are telling the truth? I'm just I'm looking
Speaker 5: at at you. Are you going to tell the truth?
Speaker 5: Are you gonna lie?
Speaker 3: You can't lie? Why would you have?
Speaker 6: As just like an inside joke. I've been saying I
Speaker 6: was twenty five for a long time, like the past
Speaker 6: three years. It's not really I'm trying.
Speaker 3: Isn't mathing?
Speaker 5: I am twenty eight, I'll be twenty nine very soon. Leo, Hey,
Speaker 5: Leo gang.
Speaker 2: Wait, so tell me before we got into all this,
Speaker 2: I wanted to know how you guys met, oh, right,
Speaker 2: even in high school and.
Speaker 3: Met in high school.
Speaker 6: She I was at boarding school, and she was like
Speaker 6: a wild New York City.
Speaker 3: You were boarding school? Yes, you look like you'd be
Speaker 3: at boarding school. We look like boarding school.
Speaker 2: You know. I just got a flash me too. People
Speaker 2: would think I was at boarding school too.
Speaker 1: But also the first time I recorded with this bitch
Speaker 1: on zoom.
Speaker 3: She shows up in sunglasses.
Speaker 4: I'm like, you're in the house.
Speaker 3: She rolled up to the zoom like he's like, susun.
Speaker 4: She's like, she's like hey.
Speaker 2: I was like, so, I was like, so, you're just
Speaker 2: going to keep those sunn't hi?
Speaker 3: She did? She did?
Speaker 4: She more than the whole.
Speaker 3: Of course. I was like, coming out again, you're still
Speaker 3: see it.
Speaker 4: The shirt aggressively fight her.
Speaker 2: I mean her nipples aggressively fight clothing, like they literally
Speaker 2: like they want they do they do?
Speaker 3: Okay, So we.
Speaker 6: I was coming home from like a break anyways, I
Speaker 6: started dating a New York boy, her friend, and we
Speaker 6: became friends.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think he was like, you need to meet her.
Speaker 5: She's really cool. She's from Brooklyn but doesn't live here,
Speaker 5: and like, you know, take her out on the town.
Speaker 5: And so I was like sure, Yeah, And like the
Speaker 5: the day I lost my or the day he thinks
Speaker 5: I lost my virginity at his house, she was also
Speaker 5: sleeping over, so she was there.
Speaker 3: So yeah, at what point did you ever confess to
Speaker 3: him that no?
Speaker 6: Okay, I mean she probably knows by now, but like
Speaker 6: the story of like my first.
Speaker 3: You guys, so he'll definitely know now.
Speaker 1: Great, Mark, it wasn't you, so, my fucking Marie, you
Speaker 1: are not the father.
Speaker 6: I think that Like that story just like sounded nicer,
Speaker 6: like my high school boyfriend we went to prom together.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, recently recently did a whole I know? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so yeah, same, yeah didn't you guys?
Speaker 5: You lied to right virginity stories? You guys told virginity
Speaker 5: stories recently?
Speaker 3: How did you guys?
Speaker 8: So?
Speaker 3: How did you lose your virginity in real life?
Speaker 5: I lost my virginity to someone that everyone used to
Speaker 5: call Spanish J.
Speaker 3: Virginity Spanish J. Yeah, you know Spanish. Everybody used to
Speaker 3: know Spanish. I used to be dancing.
Speaker 4: Wait and you just knowing I didn't know what Spanish J.
Speaker 4: Correct I that's hilarious but cool.
Speaker 3: Now I said his name. I don't want to be
Speaker 3: like nobody Spanish because people don't know Spanish.
Speaker 5: My thing is like I'm still very unsure on his
Speaker 5: sexual orientation and like that's not my business.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm so Chelsea said he'd be body rolling.
Speaker 5: Right like listen, no one's are no one's at ten,
Speaker 5: but like he gives like right right in this middle
Speaker 5: in the mid four point five hello way, But yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Was comfortable with his impulsive.
Speaker 5: I don't know like what you all signs are, but
Speaker 5: I'm like very in yo.
Speaker 2: She's a cancer cancer, yes, Capricorn leo yo.
Speaker 5: And but I think my Gemini rising makes me actually
Speaker 5: very impulsive.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's me.
Speaker 4: That's my Gemini too, because bitch be like, okay.
Speaker 1: Okay, you want to go to space and go to Mars.
Speaker 3: Okay, what's on me going? Let me move this meeting.
Speaker 3: I've got ship to do.
Speaker 4: I'll do that.
Speaker 5: And I think at the time, I was like, I
Speaker 5: just want to lose my virginity. Everyone's making such a
Speaker 5: big deal about this kid.
Speaker 4: By the way, Spanish DoD Spanish Jay know that he
Speaker 4: was taking your virginia?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 5: Like he lived on the Upper West Side, I like
Speaker 5: went up there to his place and like, you know,
Speaker 5: we did it, and I was like, well, this is
Speaker 5: underwhelming as fuck. But then the second time I fucked
Speaker 5: this Dominican guy uptown like one like, oh I'm Kacan guy.
Speaker 3: Now that was a different story.
Speaker 5: His dick was big as fuck, and that's when my
Speaker 5: cherry actually popped.
Speaker 3: Oh so.
Speaker 5: I don't know what we want to call the first
Speaker 5: you know, the first time, like doing the do in
Speaker 5: the first time. If we're considering the blood the bloody
Speaker 5: show breaking, then that's the real time.
Speaker 3: So I guess I have two. It's whenever you say
Speaker 3: you lost it.
Speaker 5: I was thirteen, uh with the Spanish J and then
Speaker 5: maybe fourteen with Big Dick Dominican.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's about my name is Spanish J. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I can't believe you didn't know that. No, maybe you
Speaker 3: did tell me that.
Speaker 2: I wonder if Big Dick Dominican's dick is still big now,
Speaker 2: only because when you're like fourteen, like you be thinking
Speaker 2: shit is big?
Speaker 3: You revisit that you'd be like nigga, Oh, I see,
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I dick, why have it?
Speaker 2: I'm wondering that because like I like, I will let
Speaker 2: you know, you think like man, when I think about
Speaker 2: like your best sex experiences as a teenager or like
Speaker 2: what you hold as like the best ones at that time,
Speaker 2: and then I think back, like was that Actually.
Speaker 3: No, I think the dicks are big. I think I
Speaker 3: think your perception is right.
Speaker 1: All the dicks I thought were big in high school
Speaker 1: are still big in adulthood.
Speaker 4: However, is the sex good is a difference? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Right, No, that was like Hallway and like a lot
Speaker 2: of just pumping, pump, a lot of pumping.
Speaker 4: Speaking of big dick, did you guys watch sex Life?
Speaker 4: Not yet, but can we watch it today?
Speaker 3: Okay, we're watching it.
Speaker 4: Okay, just keep your eyes open on episode three?
Speaker 3: Don't are you in it?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: But a big dick?
Speaker 2: Is is it the big Dominican?
Speaker 3: Is it Big Dominican coming?
Speaker 6: Oh my god?
Speaker 5: I tried to watch that with this guy I'm seeing,
Speaker 5: but then he didn't want to see big dick Dominicans.
Speaker 3: There's so many stories like you're coming at me fast.
Speaker 3: I know you're getting very cut up. What y'all been
Speaker 3: in the black girl texting?
Speaker 2: Like dating now and like a lot of different guys
Speaker 2: different things.
Speaker 4: She squired it, I squirted hi welcome.
Speaker 5: But then I was like, the fuck. If the other
Speaker 5: guy listens, he's gonna know it wasn't him.
Speaker 3: It wasn't him. They knows you like that.
Speaker 4: Niggas be nosy.
Speaker 6: I've been listening to this podcast and make him manipulate
Speaker 6: you if if they like they try very sick.
Speaker 5: But the thing is, I think I don't know a god.
Speaker 5: I kind of told him, like, so we have this
Speaker 5: joke because he's very good friends with one of my
Speaker 5: other friends, and so when he comes out, he's like
Speaker 5: with the girls and like they're all my homies and
Speaker 5: we're all homies, and so he's like, damn, you got
Speaker 5: like a harem of bitches, because it'll be like me
Speaker 5: and like three other girls and we're kind of like
Speaker 5: bopping around and like I'll be.
Speaker 4: Like, what do you need?
Speaker 3: What do you girls need? What's going on?
Speaker 5: And he's like, damn, like you'd be taking carry your
Speaker 5: harem whatever?
Speaker 3: And so I was like, you're the only nigga in
Speaker 3: the harem.
Speaker 5: Liar, technically, in that harem, he is the only nigga.
Speaker 5: But I don't know if he took that as like
Speaker 5: I'm only fucking you.
Speaker 4: Because that's a lie.
Speaker 3: Okay, well he better relax. Relax.
Speaker 2: You had the whole lot of conversations. What happened not
Speaker 2: an assumption?
Speaker 3: Are you crying thinking about? Is dick? Why are your
Speaker 3: eyes that I'm crying? Your eyes are literally watering? Are
Speaker 3: my eyes watering? They a little watery? Okay, well I
Speaker 3: have big eyes. I don't know what to I didn't.
Speaker 6: I definitely didn't think you're crying over over she cries randomly,
Speaker 6: you would think she's the cancer.
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe we're the same person. I'm like, do we again?
Speaker 7: I know?
Speaker 4: Girl?
Speaker 1: Okay, like lift it up, I am or just let
Speaker 1: it be free?
Speaker 3: You know, no, because they don't have to.
Speaker 2: Then we're about to like our Instagram want to get
Speaker 2: deleted at any moment because of my nipple, but not
Speaker 2: even because you're nippleed, just everything. They just hate us.
Speaker 2: Instagram hates moms honestly.
Speaker 5: Instagram breastfeeding, No, they hate they.
Speaker 3: Nude posting moms.
Speaker 4: Did you know?
Speaker 1: The US has the highest maternal mortality rate of any
Speaker 1: developed country, not a only that black women are three
Speaker 1: times more likely to die of pregnancy related complications than
Speaker 1: white women.
Speaker 2: Also, during the pandemic, disparities in maternal healthcare have widened
Speaker 2: even more. That's why I'm so thrilled that this earth angel,
Speaker 2: Heidi Murkoff exists. She's also the author of the Pregnancy Bible.
Speaker 2: Yes y'all, I know y'all all about this book, What
Speaker 2: to Expect when You're Expecting. Heidi established bump Day through
Speaker 2: her foundation What to Expect Project seven years ago, and
Speaker 2: if you're wondering how you can help change this huge issue,
Speaker 2: this is how. On July twenty first, moms everywhere are
Speaker 2: encouraged to flood social media with photos of their beautiful
Speaker 2: baby bumps past and present for bump Day, using the
Speaker 2: hashtag bump day and tagging what to expect and what
Speaker 2: to Expect project.
Speaker 1: They're also encouraging us to contact elected officials and urge
Speaker 1: them to take policy action that supports safe pregnancies and
Speaker 1: healthy babies.
Speaker 2: That's right, you guys, So contact your elected of fifth
Speaker 2: and make sure you post those beautiful baby bumps.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to see all these pictures.
Speaker 2: I know you guys have some beautiful images to share
Speaker 2: on July twenty first, And guess what We're having Heidimerkoff
Speaker 2: on as a guest next week. I can't wait to
Speaker 2: talk to her and find out everything about her journey
Speaker 2: in what to expect when you're expecting, and how all
Speaker 2: of this came to be. So make sure you post
Speaker 2: those pictures and tune in next week to hear Heidi's episode.
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Speaker 5: So have you been exploring your Field app? You know
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Speaker 4: Anyways, Instagram.
Speaker 6: Okay, so my virginity story I was in Spain, and
Speaker 6: I went.
Speaker 3: To like, wait, this is the real one. I was like, no, bitch,
Speaker 3: MO was in Coney Island. I'm like, Spain, this is
Speaker 3: already so sexy. Mine was in the backyard.
Speaker 6: It was sixteen wow in Spain, and we like went
Speaker 6: to a party.
Speaker 3: It was like a cafricar and it was curated.
Speaker 6: Actually didn't tell anyone that I had lost my virginity,
Speaker 6: like I told.
Speaker 3: No one for like years.
Speaker 6: Anyway, So we went to this like abandoned house place
Speaker 6: and this guy dogis Johansson.
Speaker 3: He was from Switzerland or.
Speaker 5: Joe Colonizer Virginity white man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was terrible.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is happening on the flip side?
Speaker 1: You figured you're in Spain?
Speaker 3: Fuck it? You know?
Speaker 2: The key key elements sound really sexy though, like dogious
Speaker 2: same the virginity was it summer like?
Speaker 6: But the fact that but what was traumatizing about it
Speaker 6: was that I literally told no one.
Speaker 3: But okay, so why was it so bad? Was it?
Speaker 3: What was so terrible?
Speaker 6: I don't want to lose it that way to some
Speaker 6: random guy?
Speaker 3: Why did you do it? Seen and dumb?
Speaker 5: Why?
Speaker 2: I'm sure I just thought, I'm like, did you say no,
Speaker 2: I'm drunk.
Speaker 3: It was like my first time drinking was like in Spain.
Speaker 2: Really it doesn't count taking you under my wing much
Speaker 2: soon it doesn't.
Speaker 3: It doesn't know. I know it doesn't count. You'd have
Speaker 3: been ready.
Speaker 6: I barely even felt it. I was like, am I Like,
Speaker 6: is my vagina too big?
Speaker 3: Or something? Have you?
Speaker 4: Have you had sex with the white? Sent then with
Speaker 4: a white?
Speaker 3: Yeah, with the white?
Speaker 2: I call him with the white. I thought that way
Speaker 2: once too. I remember I'll never forget. Actually don't want
Speaker 2: to say his name because someone will know, but not
Speaker 2: because he's anyone, but just someone from my high school
Speaker 2: will be like, she.
Speaker 3: Talked about you. But there was this one Filipino guy
Speaker 3: at my high school.
Speaker 2: There was a few, but he was one of them,
Speaker 2: and I had sex with him, and I remember like
Speaker 2: riding him and like it just could not stay in
Speaker 2: and then we tried to switch positions and still I
Speaker 2: was like what the fuck? And I was like is
Speaker 2: it me? Is my vagina too big?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: Is it? Am? I?
Speaker 2: Luc it just can be falling out, like what is
Speaker 2: my happening? Yeah, I mean there's I had no I
Speaker 2: had no idea that.
Speaker 5: I've had a similar kind of microp. Yeah, I didn't
Speaker 5: ask him if it was in, and that didn't really help.
Speaker 3: That's me I did.
Speaker 5: I genuinely. He was on top of me, and you
Speaker 5: know how sometimes they're.
Speaker 3: Like trying to figure it out.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was like is it in? And he was
Speaker 5: like yeah, And I was like, you know this person too.
Speaker 3: I was like I got there.
Speaker 4: Oh, I think I know who it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, we're not allowed to body shame because they're
Speaker 1: sex positive, sex.
Speaker 2: Positive and if you like that size dick, small dicks,
Speaker 2: you get love too, and they deserve it.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 1: We recently went to the Nude Beach here in Jersey
Speaker 1: and it was fucking great. But I was first I
Speaker 1: was like being respectful of Then Eric was like, there's
Speaker 1: way more uncircumcised dicks than I thought, and I was like, bitch,
Speaker 1: are you's looking? And then so I couldn't stop looking.
Speaker 1: So I was just like looking at the dicks. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, how would you?
Speaker 3: I don't understand how you weren't looking. I was not
Speaker 3: being rude, I was.
Speaker 1: I was just like, it's just like I was.
Speaker 3: You know, just smanning my business.
Speaker 1: But then when I did start to look, I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that is a very little little set into vagina.
Speaker 3: Is not a vagina.
Speaker 6: Okay, if you want to see something crazy, it's literally
Speaker 6: on YouTube, go to like it's Howard Stern micro penis contest.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I think have seen this. Oh no, the
Speaker 3: penises that look like vaginas.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like it's really heavy lappage around the penis.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean whatever works for you, right, I mean
Speaker 1: so yeah, whatever works.
Speaker 3: Maybe it feels great. Here comes Gwendolyn.
Speaker 4: She coming five fifty give her take five fifty.
Speaker 1: Great, she's got off that job that she's They love
Speaker 1: her there, so.
Speaker 4: Yikes.
Speaker 3: So I was looking up.
Speaker 2: I was just been to like researching like friendships and stuff,
Speaker 2: and apparently you guys, I didn't know this, but there
Speaker 2: are four types of friendship styles or specifically that's what
Speaker 2: this psychologists said, so it has to be true and
Speaker 2: also google, so I trust it. I wanted to read
Speaker 2: them too, because I wanted to see what kind of
Speaker 2: friendship style you guys think you have. The first one
Speaker 2: is a discerning friendship style. These are people with a
Speaker 2: few very close friends. Emotional closeness is high, the friendship
Speaker 2: tend to have lasted a long time, and These folks
Speaker 2: are less likely to form new friendships in mid.
Speaker 3: To late life. But what are they called it?
Speaker 2: A discerning friendship? Basically, you major friendship friends a long
Speaker 2: time ago. You don't really fuck with new niggas. It's
Speaker 2: is y y'all are very very close friends, like who
Speaker 2: are you hanging out with now? Number two is the
Speaker 2: independent friendship style, and those with an independent style don't
Speaker 2: maintain that that many friendships either. But they're also less
Speaker 2: likely to be emotionally close to the friends they have.
Speaker 2: They're content to socialize casually. Often their friendships are circumstantial
Speaker 2: form with people they know from school, work, neighbors, but
Speaker 2: not maintained in circumstances wait, and not maintained if so,
Speaker 2: circumstances change.
Speaker 3: So that's not She's not like a.
Speaker 4: Bitch opportunist only for particular reason.
Speaker 3: I no offense if.
Speaker 5: I think I have elements of.
Speaker 2: The third one is select selectively acquisitive friendship style. These
Speaker 2: are the people who are out there meeting new people
Speaker 2: all the time and uh. Some in their circle are
Speaker 2: intimate friends. Some are much more casual, but they are
Speaker 2: all thought of his friends. Acquisitive people also tend to
Speaker 2: have friendships of varied duration. Some last decades, others are
Speaker 2: more fleeting and circumstantial. Selectively acquisite people, however, are somewhat
Speaker 2: choosy about which friendships they maintain over long, longer periods
Speaker 2: of time as compared to unconditionally acquisitive people. So yeah,
Speaker 2: it means like, you can make a lot of friends,
Speaker 2: but they can come, they go.
Speaker 8: Who cares additional or unconditional That is selectively acquisitive acquisitive,
Speaker 8: and then the last one is unconditionally acquisitive friendship style.
Speaker 2: This group has the largest number of friends of the
Speaker 2: four types. Although the emotional closeness differs friend to friend,
Speaker 2: it is on average relatively low. There's also a wide
Speaker 2: range of friendship duration in this group. Overall, this group
Speaker 2: is more about socializing than emotional support.
Speaker 3: So are you an unconditional inquisitive meaning?
Speaker 2: I think that means that basically, you have a lot
Speaker 2: of friends, but no one's that close, but you're friendly
Speaker 2: as fuck.
Speaker 3: Selectively means you're friendly.
Speaker 2: As fuck, but like you don't need to keep everyone,
Speaker 2: but you do, like are close to certain people.
Speaker 3: Independent means I don't know, you kind.
Speaker 2: Of just don't really fuck with nobody, just like go
Speaker 2: to work, they're your friends, then you're not at work
Speaker 2: the angel friends.
Speaker 3: And then discerning is you only made.
Speaker 4: Friends in kindergarten and after that, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Why do they all suck? They're all not the best,
Speaker 3: but I guess they're realistic.
Speaker 5: I mean, the reason why I said the second one,
Speaker 5: the independent, is because I do you get close with
Speaker 5: people like at work and then like there are somewhere
Speaker 5: it's just like all right, I don't work here, no.
Speaker 3: More, stop calling. That has done.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's not necessarily like after work we are
Speaker 5: always hanging out, Like I have the work friends that
Speaker 5: it's like, let's go grab a drink. But like you
Speaker 5: ain't my nigga, Like I'm gonna tell you, like all
Speaker 5: you're not gonna call me shda. Like at work, people
Speaker 5: call me by they don't know her real name, yeah,
Speaker 5: just by my first name. But it's like a nickname
Speaker 5: play on my first name.
Speaker 2: So I feel like I don't even know you right,
Speaker 2: perfect exactly, So like it's like they don't even get
Speaker 2: past like knowing like how my name is call me right,
Speaker 2: but like we cool, we go grab a drink whatever,
Speaker 2: and then like if I move on to another job,
Speaker 2: it's like it's been fun by.
Speaker 3: But like, what's wrong with that? No? I agree.
Speaker 5: I guess it's like a closer acquaintance. Yeah yeah, like
Speaker 5: I guess you wouldn't call them a friend.
Speaker 3: I have none of.
Speaker 4: Those, Well college only four, So well.
Speaker 6: She needs to go back to school because I think
Speaker 6: that's incorrect. They all sound so bad.
Speaker 3: So which one would you?
Speaker 2: I think that I'm selectively acquisitive, like I like this
Speaker 2: with no friends. No, it's when I'm meeting people and
Speaker 2: some some are intimate friends and some are more casual.
Speaker 3: Okay, I think maybe I'm not the third one. That's
Speaker 3: the third one. Okay, I'm the third one, and.
Speaker 2: I'm choosy about which ones I want to maintain. And
Speaker 2: I am because I'd be like, oh, like that bitch,
Speaker 2: she was cool like on Tuesdays.
Speaker 1: I've gotten better with being more choosy as i've gotten older,
Speaker 1: because before I'm like, we met for like literally, I'm
Speaker 1: the type of person if we pass somebody, if we
Speaker 1: pass like talk briefly, talk to somebody in like a crowd,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, that's such a good time too,
Speaker 1: Like if I walk away, and now I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: take my Instagram even if I don't ever message them again.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what if I was supposed to be friends
Speaker 4: with them? Man, I didn't say bye?
Speaker 1: Like that's how I think, Like, Wow, that's supposed to
Speaker 1: be my friend.
Speaker 2: I have no concept of what that feels like at all.
Speaker 2: I'm whenever I'm like, damn, maybe like a nigga does
Speaker 2: that said?
Speaker 3: Okay, like.
Speaker 5: That is not packed there, Like maybe that nigga supposed
Speaker 5: to be my husband. I didn't give you my number.
Speaker 6: Well, we had a friendship coach on and she was incredible. Actually,
Speaker 6: if you're doing like a friend month, you should definitely
Speaker 6: have her own.
Speaker 5: Might be a little like whoa, this is a rodeo
Speaker 5: a little wow, but but she just she very square.
Speaker 4: You all are wild.
Speaker 3: You can't know I was nipple wild. You put the
Speaker 3: pillow over it, so we don't have to do editing
Speaker 3: and things. We're gonna have to put a little and
Speaker 3: the pillow. Okay. I think it's in now if you
Speaker 3: stay seated like this.
Speaker 6: Okay, So with your friends, I know it's probably different
Speaker 6: with you too, because you're like, you know, two peas
Speaker 6: in a pod. But with your other friends, when you
Speaker 6: get into like issue, do you like like deal with it, Like,
Speaker 6: are you like, hey, let's talk or is it just
Speaker 6: like I'm not fucking you, You're just a friend, so
Speaker 6: moving on you're cut off?
Speaker 3: No, it's not moving on cut off. I definitely made
Speaker 3: a deal with it, but I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna I'll probably wait a little while to like see
Speaker 2: how I should deal with it. Sometimes I can be
Speaker 2: passive aggressive, I don't and then not, and then eventually
Speaker 2: I'll have to say something because I know I'm being
Speaker 2: a bitch. But I definitely would never just cut off
Speaker 2: a friend without having a conversation. Okay, And if I
Speaker 2: do cut you off, you're I'm gonna tell you I'm
Speaker 2: cutting you off. I'm pretty like open about the cutoff. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm really bad at that. So if I care, if
Speaker 2: I cared about you, like if I don't, if it's
Speaker 2: casual whatever. But I've literally had a conversation with a
Speaker 2: girl we know her, and I was just like, I
Speaker 2: don't have any interest in being a friend.
Speaker 3: What is that? You said it? Who we met through
Speaker 3: kind of damn?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah like that though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, we don't really have mutual interests.
Speaker 2: When we don't have a lot in common, you're just
Speaker 2: not my type of person. So was there like a
Speaker 2: did something happen or did there was a few things
Speaker 2: happened that I was just like and it wasn't like
Speaker 2: anything terrible, but it was just like, I don't really,
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 3: Then she kept she kept calling me hang on. I
Speaker 3: was like, I just need to tell this bitch.
Speaker 1: This is also someone who we know has also like
Speaker 1: I know two other separate friends who have also cut
Speaker 1: the same bitch off with like the same directness.
Speaker 4: It's it's obviously this bitch.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know what I'm talking about. It it's her, Yeah,
Speaker 2: she's her.
Speaker 3: But any guilt, like maybe she's traumatized.
Speaker 2: I didn't feel guilt because I felt like I was
Speaker 2: ethical about it. Yeah, like you know, like I didn't
Speaker 2: ghost her, you know, I felt like, Wow, I really
Speaker 2: was mature about it.
Speaker 1: How about in your inner like because obviously you guys
Speaker 1: work together, you're very very close friends.
Speaker 4: So like between the three of you, would.
Speaker 1: You guys, would would you say it's easy to directly
Speaker 1: like address issues, because like that's not something we're taught
Speaker 1: in friendships, you know what I mean, Like conflict does
Speaker 1: not like conflict resolution is what they teaching corporate, but
Speaker 1: not like in your personal life. And sometimes even sometimes
Speaker 1: you get so close to people you don't know how
Speaker 1: to go about conflict or you really forget to like
Speaker 1: love on them or show them affection because you're just like, yeah, bit, you'
Speaker 1: my friend.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: But you will fucking love on and resolve a conflict
Speaker 2: with a man real quick.
Speaker 3: Your friends, you'd be like, mm, fuck her. Yeah that's
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 6: That's a problem. Yeah, but I do it. But it's
Speaker 6: a problem.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 6: When we get into ship, we we've like cussed each
Speaker 6: other out, but we've like known each other for a
Speaker 6: long time, so it's like, it's probably not good to
Speaker 6: do that.
Speaker 4: And afterwards I always apologize.
Speaker 3: Are you saying that I don't. I usually do it
Speaker 3: first and you do it second. That's great. Do you
Speaker 3: do it first, not first? I do it first. I
Speaker 3: thought that's the I can't lie.
Speaker 4: But I'm just like, I'm sorry that I called you
Speaker 4: a dumb ass bitch. I don't mean that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was just really frustrated in the moment because
Speaker 6: of X y Z. I think, I but you know
Speaker 6: what you you do. But I'm also like, yeah, you
Speaker 6: call me dump messpage like whatever, yeah, because she actually
Speaker 6: doesn't care versus me, I will like hold on to
Speaker 6: it for.
Speaker 3: My years prices, I'm real nasty and you needed to
Speaker 3: curse me out and we just go keep it moving.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then Glenn is like same, She'll you can
Speaker 6: tell her sorry, I called you a dumb ass.
Speaker 3: Glenn is in the middle.
Speaker 5: We all have like different dynamics, but like i'd say,
Speaker 5: I don't know, Glenn is usually so quiet, and then it's.
Speaker 3: Like are you are you mad? Are you not mad?
Speaker 3: What the fuck is happening?
Speaker 5: Like yeah, I feel like we probably had to be
Speaker 5: like what's happening many times?
Speaker 3: Yeah, But but I do want to be better about like.
Speaker 6: Recognizing like the positive things like I'll say it here,
Speaker 6: like on Father's Day when you texted me because my
Speaker 6: father died and like that meant so much to me.
Speaker 3: But I never like said that.
Speaker 2: Right, you know, and like and that's what I was
Speaker 2: telling her, Like I think so often like we don't
Speaker 2: like tell our friends like I love you, and we
Speaker 2: don't tell them like the things that we appreciate about
Speaker 2: one another. We just assume that they're known, and like,
Speaker 2: I feel like it's really important. It's been a practice
Speaker 2: for me because for me, like I haven't always been
Speaker 2: like I guess the girls girl in ways I've obviously,
Speaker 2: I feel like I've always had female friends for sure,
Speaker 2: but there was like a level of boundary that I
Speaker 2: always put up a little bit.
Speaker 3: You know that I was like, Mmm, don't touch me, please, yeah,
Speaker 3: touch me, and like especially that what do you think
Speaker 3: that's from? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just really felt uncomfortable with women touching me, like
Speaker 2: like I have a friend, I have a friend or
Speaker 2: girls like my friend Stephanie. She's like such a lover
Speaker 2: and like so affectionate I remember in high school and
Speaker 2: I would be like, she's so fucking weird, like she
Speaker 2: why is she always touching people me? Like you're crossing
Speaker 2: my boundaries? And I was like, what is this fucking
Speaker 2: weird boundary? Like did she like there's no trauma from
Speaker 2: her here? Like and also there's really no trauma in
Speaker 2: that space, I think, But like I don't know, and
Speaker 2: I've had to work through that, and I think I
Speaker 2: think honestly having a daughter has really helped me heal
Speaker 2: whatever that A lot of whatever that was for me
Speaker 2: with women and femininity and yeah, I guess affection Damn.
Speaker 3: Maybe I need a daughter or a therapist.
Speaker 6: Because I feel the exact same way, Like I have
Speaker 6: like an affectionate issue, like I don't really touch people
Speaker 6: or like, and I have this new friend Gabby shout
Speaker 6: out to her. She always says I love you. She
Speaker 6: always hugs me, and it feels good. It's not like
Speaker 6: I feel grossed out. I just like feel like I freeze.
Speaker 6: I don't like, am I supposed to say back?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you tighter?
Speaker 3: Like it's very strange.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like during her bachelorette she like like told me
Speaker 6: all this like sweet stuff how much she loves me,
Speaker 6: and I was like, are you on Molly, Like no, bitch,
Speaker 6: Like I just fucking love you.
Speaker 3: And it was so weird.
Speaker 6: But anyways, the point of that was when I have children,
Speaker 6: I want them to be affectionate. So I'm like, I
Speaker 6: need to fix whatever this is because I want to
Speaker 6: model it for them. But it wasn't modeled for me,
Speaker 6: so I don't know how to do it. It's a practice,
Speaker 6: it really is. It's a practice.
Speaker 2: I mean it's it's it's definitely a practice for me
Speaker 2: too in my friendships and like checking in with my
Speaker 2: friends and making sure that I'm like, you know, being
Speaker 2: kind to them because I know that I can be
Speaker 2: very like same, you know, and like me and me
Speaker 2: love have be been together for literally like sixteen days
Speaker 2: straight and crazy and like I've had I know more
Speaker 2: than that.
Speaker 1: We've been in Coasta, Rica for two weeks and we're
Speaker 1: about to come up on our third week.
Speaker 3: Traveling.
Speaker 2: That's like yeah, and it's like we're getting on each
Speaker 2: other's nerves and it's like but me, Like the thing
Speaker 2: about us is like we're not going to curse each
Speaker 2: other out. We're just gonna like be like okay, like
Speaker 2: or nye or I'm just gonna be like I'll be back.
Speaker 6: Well, you can't curse out of cancer and you're just
Speaker 6: like a demon person.
Speaker 4: No, you can't curse out of cancer.
Speaker 3: You can.
Speaker 2: She probably would be better at cursing me out than
Speaker 2: I would be. Really, I'm in scorpio, but I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm more like an energy vamp, like I will fuck
Speaker 2: you up with my energy, but like she will fuck
Speaker 2: you up with her words.
Speaker 3: Like she's really quick with it. She's quick with the words.
Speaker 2: I'd be like sometimes she'll be going off on like
Speaker 2: someone else about someone else.
Speaker 3: I'm like, Damn, that was really good. God Damn, Like shit,
Speaker 3: I didn't have that in me.
Speaker 5: I that you know that about yourself. I think that
Speaker 5: helps too, right, Like I'm terrible with confrontation. I like,
Speaker 5: can't do it. But if you force me to confront it. Wow,
Speaker 5: It's very similar to my sex life.
Speaker 3: But I feel like with you.
Speaker 6: I feel like with you, like when someone confronts you,
Speaker 6: it's like you run away from them versus like hearing
Speaker 6: what they're saying and making the you do. Yes, I
Speaker 6: think you're getting better at it since you've started therapy, though,
Speaker 6: Oh okay no.
Speaker 5: Because I feel like if you, if you present the
Speaker 5: problem to me, then at least I can be like, okay, fine, Yeah.
Speaker 5: Maybe I don't immediately receive it, but I can, like
Speaker 5: I can sit on it, but like, I will never
Speaker 5: be the first person to bring it up.
Speaker 3: I just I'm like, oh like it, But you know what.
Speaker 1: On the contrary, I have a Leo best friend who
Speaker 1: could literally curse me out of a five minutes.
Speaker 4: I'm like, you want to go get a drink? You
Speaker 4: want to hit this lune.
Speaker 1: I'm like, and it's fine, but I have another can
Speaker 1: I mean Capricorn best friend who oddly will not say shit.
Speaker 5: And like, wait, like four years and I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 5: are we even friends?
Speaker 1: Like why the fuck are you? Like what the fuck
Speaker 1: are you talking about? And it just like started to
Speaker 1: irritate me about her, Like I don't really like confrontation either,
Speaker 1: but I'm even learning about myself as a woman, like
Speaker 1: I am very sensitive.
Speaker 4: I know I get defensive, but.
Speaker 1: Also like even for myself, I'll hold on to some
Speaker 1: shit for years, but I'm like, bitch, you need to
Speaker 1: if it's gonna bother you that much, you can remember
Speaker 1: it two years from now, you.
Speaker 3: Need to say it the fuck right now.
Speaker 1: But like sometimes like I don't know what it is
Speaker 1: about just saying like, hey girl, you said something to
Speaker 1: me the other day that hurt my feelings. You said
Speaker 1: something to me the other day that hurt my feelings. Actually,
Speaker 1: what did I tell you? I've been holding on in
Speaker 1: for two days now, come on, no, we can't.
Speaker 3: Let's deal with it.
Speaker 1: The other day two days ago, forty eight hours ago,
Speaker 1: you said, well, I was like, what was I I
Speaker 1: was about to go somewhere with my friend and she
Speaker 1: was like you need to stay, Like don't be like
Speaker 1: your baby daddy, Like you say, your baby daddy, doesn't
Speaker 1: drop her, just drop her off.
Speaker 3: And I was like, don't ever got married?
Speaker 5: I dy.
Speaker 3: Inside.
Speaker 1: I was like, but I didn't say anything for today's
Speaker 1: cause so obviously I know she loves me, and I
Speaker 1: know everything she says to me is because she's like, but.
Speaker 3: I hurt your feelings.
Speaker 1: She was looking out for me and looking out for
Speaker 1: my kid and like always has my best interests in mine.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, as a woman, as a like person,
Speaker 1: what the fuck about my grown ass, thirty three year
Speaker 1: old ass? And I'm not like, bitch, that hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1: But Erica is good at what she will do. If
Speaker 1: she says something, even if I'm not even thinking about it,
Speaker 1: she'd like, I'm sorry that I said this too. I apologize.
Speaker 3: That's good.
Speaker 2: I like, thank you well, and I'm sorry that I
Speaker 2: said that, because I know that that's not that that
Speaker 2: wasn't a good comparison at the time, And like, I
Speaker 2: think me and her had been like off of like
Speaker 2: this trip of like we've both had these intense interactions
Speaker 2: with our children's father, and we had just gotten our
Speaker 2: kids back, and like I was just feeling like very
Speaker 2: everything was like very sensitive to me, and like.
Speaker 3: I just was like on edge.
Speaker 2: And so I'm sorry that I said that to you,
Speaker 2: And I wasn't saying I didn't that wasn't the right comparison,
Speaker 2: But I really was saying that in love.
Speaker 3: No, I know, and I know that I know that.
Speaker 2: Concern for your for Luna because I love her so
Speaker 2: much and she's always can come with me. I know,
Speaker 2: I know, I know that was it, but it wasn't
Speaker 2: the right way. And I know I know myself. I
Speaker 2: know when I do it, and I'm like I was,
Speaker 2: but I was like then.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I have to say something. I'm like
Speaker 3: maybe she didn't notice, and it's like.
Speaker 6: It's just like like the different conflict. That's oh my god,
Speaker 6: this is so cool.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of this, because I you know, I wanted
Speaker 2: to ask you guys some questions about and just like
Speaker 2: I feel like these are conversations too that like are uncomfortable, right,
Speaker 2: like that we don't always have with our friends, and
Speaker 2: we don't ask these certain questions because you're.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, like they're uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: I wanted to get upset, and it's like but we
Speaker 2: want to like sit in front of you know, our
Speaker 2: partners and men and we want to dig deep.
Speaker 3: And I don't do this with niggas either.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're a liar.
Speaker 3: No, no, no.
Speaker 5: That was my biggest issue with my ex. He was
Speaker 5: like you just like the like right before we broke up,
Speaker 5: he did some stupid shit. I couldn't even do it.
Speaker 5: I was like, I grab my ship. I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm leaving and he was like on the floor, like no,
Speaker 5: and I was like, I don't want to talk to you.
Speaker 5: He was like, what is the issue? I was like, fuck,
Speaker 5: youn't even like sit and I'm packing that I can't.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 6: I feel like that's because you had had enough though,
Speaker 6: But I feel like, okay, I feel like you do
Speaker 6: it more with men than you do Yes.
Speaker 3: But we all do that.
Speaker 5: It's more of the second chances, but less of me
Speaker 5: being like vocal about my frustrations. And so he's always like,
Speaker 5: I cannot read your mind, shutdah, And I'm like, why try?
Speaker 3: And I can't pretty obvious, Hell have you known me?
Speaker 4: You should be able to read my He're.
Speaker 5: On some buckshit and that's why I'm mad. And I
Speaker 5: don't even need to tell your bitch ass.
Speaker 1: But it's so necessary as women and as like human
Speaker 1: beings that we can, like even to say that to
Speaker 1: Eric has like I had to first recognize that's a trigger,
Speaker 1: that it triggered me, yes, and then like work, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like a lot of times, or
Speaker 1: that shit makes made me uncomfortable or that. Like I
Speaker 1: had an ex boyfriend and I was going through something
Speaker 1: and I told him on the phone like I'm so mad,
Speaker 1: like something with my mom, which was so personal.
Speaker 4: But then like later that night he came to pick
Speaker 4: me up and he was like, let's talk. And I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, Tom, But.
Speaker 1: It was like I told this nigga about my problem
Speaker 1: and now I want to talk about it because that's
Speaker 1: what you do on relationships.
Speaker 3: But I had to.
Speaker 4: I had to deal with myself that I am a.
Speaker 1: Very touchy, cuddly, I love you person, but like sometimes
Speaker 1: when it comes to really digging deep about my own shit,
Speaker 1: I'm not really I'll dig deep into your shit all day.
Speaker 4: I love on you, you need to cuddle, but when
Speaker 4: it comes to.
Speaker 1: Me, I'm not that comfortable about like a addressing my feelings.
Speaker 1: But it's just a strange thing because I thought that
Speaker 1: that was something I was good at because I'm good
Speaker 1: at it with other people. So it's just like being
Speaker 1: self aware is such a like you to be self
Speaker 1: aware in your like platonic friendships with your girlfriends and
Speaker 1: in your love relationships and with yourself is the only
Speaker 1: way that you can like actually improve as a human being.
Speaker 5: I have a question, and I might fuck your whole
Speaker 5: shit up because I see you holding your phone like
Speaker 5: you're ready for like the things I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm not. I remember here.
Speaker 5: I'm like cool, Okay, I'm gonna ask my question and
Speaker 5: I want to get to your point.
Speaker 3: Okay, do you is it sup? Personal?
Speaker 4: Do you beat your kids?
Speaker 3: Not be like good ass? Do I spank my child?
Speaker 3: I guess I have.
Speaker 2: I've definitely spanked my child. I have definitely versus beat
Speaker 2: that's he got beat. Okay, what's the different like close fist,
Speaker 2: open hand, like that's the difference. Is that the difference
Speaker 2: between because my daughter's beat me and I definitely hit
Speaker 2: her back because I told her I was I don't
Speaker 2: ever hit me unless you want to get hit back, period,
Speaker 2: And that's just life, and that's just life in general.
Speaker 3: Have I spanked her? Yes?
Speaker 2: I have I I know, like there's you know, people
Speaker 2: that are like anti hitting kids, and I support that
Speaker 2: as well. But I'm a black woman, I'm a black mother,
Speaker 2: And don't say I'm just saying. I'm not saying it's
Speaker 2: the black way, but this is these are the ways.
Speaker 3: Like my father.
Speaker 2: I was fearful of my father because all he had
Speaker 2: to do was what my ass one time. And I
Speaker 2: was like, oh no, no, no, okay, But that's the
Speaker 2: and the queer is the way. But and and and
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily think fear is the way. That's not
Speaker 2: that's not how I want my daughter to navigate in
Speaker 2: our relationship. But there is a level of respect. And
Speaker 2: these kids be wilding the fuck out and there is
Speaker 2: no reasoning with a three year old who's having a
Speaker 2: fucking meltdown at the mall in front of everyone for
Speaker 2: the fourth hundredth time. And I'm tired and I haven't
Speaker 2: slept because you were up all night.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And like we moms lose their shit sometimes. Absolutely
Speaker 5: I understand that. But I think a lot of my
Speaker 5: and I've talked to my therapists about this, so this
Speaker 5: is like nothing new, but I think a lot of
Speaker 5: my challenges with emoting and like handling conflict was like
Speaker 5: the minute I got frustrated and something happened, my mom
Speaker 5: was just like beating my ass. So I wasn't able
Speaker 5: to be like, well, Mom, I'm.
Speaker 3: Upset, I'm feeling this, I'm feeling this.
Speaker 5: And so it was and listen, she and I she
Speaker 5: already knows vibes. She came from a crazy ass family herself.
Speaker 5: So like, it's just like one of those things where
Speaker 5: I realized that that not only impacts your relationship with
Speaker 5: your parents, your friends, your loved ones, where it's like
Speaker 5: I feel like a lot of times I wasn't given
Speaker 5: like the your voice, your voice didn't matter correct, and
Speaker 5: it was just like what are you crying for.
Speaker 4: Or that day?
Speaker 1: And I'll give you a reason to cry, yeah, And
Speaker 1: I was like, my nigga, I'm already crying about it.
Speaker 3: This shit is fucking crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 5: And so I talked to my therapist about this a
Speaker 5: lot because I'm like, yo, I have such a hard
Speaker 5: time like even identifying those emotions because it was like
Speaker 5: I feel like so stunted and that shit is fucking hard.
Speaker 3: And that's why is my point.
Speaker 6: I feel like you like being around people that only
Speaker 6: give you the happy emotion all the time. Mmm, Like
Speaker 6: if they give any challenge, like, oh I'm confronting you
Speaker 6: because of this, you like run.
Speaker 3: Away from them. No, no, not my vibe? Yeah too much.
Speaker 3: I wonder if I'm connected. I have Pamela tomorrow.
Speaker 4: I mean I say this all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm like, the childhood trauma coming out in adulthood is real,
Speaker 1: and like I didn't I did get beat, but like
Speaker 1: not all the time. I got ignored a lot, and
Speaker 1: I gotta like, oh, you're okay, shut the fuck up,
Speaker 1: and like that was just like the way we communicate
Speaker 1: in our family.
Speaker 3: And so that probably is.
Speaker 1: The reason why I don't like I'm emotional and shit,
Speaker 1: but I'm not necessarily super expressive about my emotions.
Speaker 3: Like I'll talk all day with you and get.
Speaker 1: Deep, but it doesn't have to be like necessarily emotionally
Speaker 1: deep about myself. But like I'm realizing and shout out
Speaker 1: to Jessica Rose because she's big on like the not
Speaker 1: hitting your kids, and I totally understand that.
Speaker 4: And like, for obvious reasons, you can't just go like shut.
Speaker 3: The fuck up.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: I can't do that at work, can't do that at McDonald's.
Speaker 1: You just can't be beaten people. And I've definitely spanked
Speaker 1: my kid and I noticed early like damn if I
Speaker 1: don't do it really hard, she's just not faced.
Speaker 2: But as as she also it hurts you more than
Speaker 2: them half the time.
Speaker 3: And I know, but as she.
Speaker 4: Gets older, and I'm like, I birthed the.
Speaker 1: Black child, Why are you acting Caucasian? This is not
Speaker 1: what I fucking signed up for. Like one time she
Speaker 1: went in her room like was kicking the door. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I was like, who the hoo?
Speaker 3: On the fuck? Where do they get that from? Do
Speaker 3: you think they see it on TV?
Speaker 4: I think Friends TV?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, all of the above, and just the spirit
Speaker 1: the spirit, and so let's see what happens. How bad
Speaker 1: can she beat me? And I've realized, like just like
Speaker 1: a pop, she don't really give a fuck.
Speaker 4: I'll be like, I gotta really abuse you.
Speaker 3: I'm going to do it. I gotta go there.
Speaker 4: Huh, You're really gonna make a bitch try it.
Speaker 1: But like as I get older, like as she gets older,
Speaker 1: I'm just like trying not because I'm very impatient. I
Speaker 1: tell Eric on the way out here, I'm like they
Speaker 1: were talking, they're just like singing off key for like
Speaker 1: twenty minutes straight.
Speaker 4: I'm like I can't, literally drives me nuts.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck you have to be so
Speaker 1: loud for like so irritating. But I'm like, bitch, you
Speaker 1: need patience and you need to calm down, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm like trying to talk myself down, but also
Speaker 1: like you have to give your kids space to communicate
Speaker 1: and to feel. But also like you could do all that,
Speaker 1: but shit's not gonna happen.
Speaker 4: You just won't get shit.
Speaker 1: And I try to tell them like because we spoiled
Speaker 1: the fuck out of our kids, Like our kids just
Speaker 1: flew out here together. They're in camp, they're in cinema camp,
Speaker 1: and shit, like they are free children. But also like
Speaker 1: it's hard to get like it's hard to discipline, and
Speaker 1: also not I don't recommend it, but good luck.
Speaker 3: Yeah I didn't. Really I got like three beating. Oh girl.
Speaker 5: I used to lock myself in the bathroom because I
Speaker 5: was like, I'm about to get fucked that you are.
Speaker 3: A different kind of kid.
Speaker 6: Though you would talk back, I mean not saying you
Speaker 6: deserved it, but you would talk differently than I would
Speaker 6: speak to.
Speaker 3: My Well, yes, yes, yes, but my mom, you're just spicy.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 5: I think one day I said to my mom, my
Speaker 5: mom was beating me as a teenager.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is the ghetto.
Speaker 5: And I was like, you need to use your words.
Speaker 4: She was like what did you say?
Speaker 3: And I was like, use your words? What is that?
Speaker 3: Probably pissed her off, like why are we like why
Speaker 3: are we low key fighting? What is happening?
Speaker 5: Like, I'm sixteen years old, I'm gonna least.
Speaker 1: I've never been that way, Like I will beat you up,
Speaker 1: like I told her, like, my natural instinct is to
Speaker 1: hit you back. So good luck that happened. I told
Speaker 1: my mom that, I'm like, you realize, like if you
Speaker 1: hit me, I'm gonna hit you back.
Speaker 3: Ye at a certain age, Yeah, you give it up.
Speaker 6: She didn't be my ash. Yeah, we've had a tussel
Speaker 6: or two. I'm embarrassed. This is very ghetto.
Speaker 1: I am embarrassed to admit that I have fought my
Speaker 1: mom like in adulhood, like more than once twice specifically.
Speaker 4: She'd beat my ass both times. She's not that much
Speaker 4: bigger than me.
Speaker 1: She's definitely done that time.
Speaker 3: Has that mommy power. She has that tago would be
Speaker 3: working out. Your mom can outrun you any day. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm actually be her ass.
Speaker 2: Her mom would be up, I'd be the personal trainer.
Speaker 2: Her mom would be up next. And I was like,
Speaker 2: where's to me. She's like, I don't know, Like your.
Speaker 3: Mom was up at seventy am working out.
Speaker 1: Okay, but I never want that, Like I never want
Speaker 1: to be a fucking a grown up. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: already grown out someone but learned to be grown And
Speaker 1: we're fucking so in the ghetto though we're fighting each other.
Speaker 3: We've got to get out of the ghetto. We got to.
Speaker 1: We got a heel, like the cycle, we have to
Speaker 1: and like here we are talking confronting our friendship issues
Speaker 1: on fucking microphone.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, thank you ladies for coming on the pod.
Speaker 3: I think this is Gwendolen's bitch ass.
Speaker 4: Oh decided Gwendolin it's gonna be employee of the month
Speaker 4: because she won't listen to.
Speaker 3: Well or can we do the tarot card thing?
Speaker 1: Well, I think we're gonna do it later, Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I did want to ask I did last time.
Speaker 4: I don't know when you came on our show.
Speaker 1: You guys had such a wonderful, memorable, beautiful, uh horrse story?
Speaker 3: Oh what was it? Was it YouTube? Yeah? The train?
Speaker 3: The train?
Speaker 6: But that nobody or was that glennon? Oh we told both? Okay,
Speaker 6: tell AHOs story. You've had a few recently, so like
Speaker 6: I want I want a new one.
Speaker 1: First of all, I feel like me and Shade should
Speaker 1: never hang out on the supervised.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, where are you guys?
Speaker 4: Like we just came to Spain.
Speaker 3: We met a guy on the train and he said, come,
Speaker 3: they are going to be like where these bitches.
Speaker 5: A whole story? Well one, I just told the sporting story.
Speaker 5: So I feel like, should I retell I have one
Speaker 5: from like two days ago?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, share it. We love freshies, freshies. Okay. So I've
Speaker 3: been seeing this guy.
Speaker 5: And it's been it's been going pretty pretty nice. And
Speaker 5: we were all hanging out. Glenn was actually with us,
Speaker 5: and I was like.
Speaker 3: Let's go back to my place to watch a movie.
Speaker 5: Whole time I was ready to trap trap that nigga
Speaker 5: in Matt Chris and so Glenn had to get something
Speaker 5: and he like carried her ac into her apartment. So gentleman,
Speaker 5: such a gentleman, and then she was like, uh, so,
Speaker 5: like do you still want me to come watch a
Speaker 5: movie with you? And I was like, oh, well, I know,
Speaker 5: like you you're home and like, you know, you probably
Speaker 5: don't really want to, and she was like I mean,
Speaker 5: she was like, I mean I can't, and I was like, no,
Speaker 5: it should be comfortable. At the same time, I was
Speaker 5: trying not to look like a fiend, but I was
Speaker 5: like and she was like, yeah, I'm gonna say my
Speaker 5: ass here. And then he was like, oh, well, I'll
Speaker 5: still watch the movie with you. So we went back.
Speaker 5: Wasn't no fucking movie going on. Next thing, I know,
Speaker 5: couch busting it wide open, long boom.
Speaker 3: That ship was amazing. I was like, wow, wow.
Speaker 5: On my like brand new, not that new, but my
Speaker 5: nice leather cow. Then we take that ship upstairs. Glen
Speaker 5: will hear this because we have we had you got upstairs,
Speaker 5: you rich New York City.
Speaker 3: Glenn knows this.
Speaker 5: I hadn't sucked his dick yet because I was really
Speaker 5: scared of it.
Speaker 3: Really big.
Speaker 5: It's big, but like we didn't have had like the
Speaker 5: FLA exchange. And then he was like that's sixty nine
Speaker 5: and I was like yeah, yeah, yeah. So like that
Speaker 5: was so fire and we were just like fucking all
Speaker 5: over my bed, like all on the edge, all over.
Speaker 5: I had to go open up the fucking new fan.
Speaker 5: I got a new fan. I was like, bitch, let
Speaker 5: me get this fan. We're naked like opening while I'm
Speaker 5: doing so many Like we had to literally open up
Speaker 5: like the new fan.
Speaker 3: I just got delivered because it was so hot.
Speaker 5: But like we just can fuck like non stop and
Speaker 5: it is so good, but it's so different than the
Speaker 5: other guy and fucking that made me squirt and like
Speaker 5: I almost want to like conjoin the maybe lets.
Speaker 3: Them run a train.
Speaker 4: Wait, wait, would you do a male male female because
Speaker 4: that's when.
Speaker 3: I would definitely do a ma male female.
Speaker 4: That's my wish to baby Jesus.
Speaker 3: She would not do it.
Speaker 4: I was like, you.
Speaker 3: Would do that? Would you do dp? I would do
Speaker 3: it all. Just bring me two niggas that are down.
Speaker 2: I was working on it. I was working on it,
Speaker 2: but then when theyggat started tripping.
Speaker 3: Let's alsay a prayer, Please God, Hey guys, dear God,
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 1: Please God, you shut the fuck up and don't interrupt
Speaker 1: our ship with God. Dear God, please, can you please
Speaker 1: include black girls texting and good Mom's about choices minus
Speaker 1: Chelsea for a male male female beautiful three way love, platonic, respectful,
Speaker 1: all about us three way if it includes DP or
Speaker 1: maybe one person on the titty, one person on the pussy, Yes,
Speaker 1: we would.
Speaker 4: Really we would really love you and we would.
Speaker 3: Really love that.
Speaker 1: And so also include a miss and like maybe a
Speaker 1: fourhand massage just to jump it off, and maybe some ice.
Speaker 3: Maybe like grapes being fed to me.
Speaker 6: Yeah, those eyes are actually fruit to get on your knees.
Speaker 4: Fruit should the mic won't go there.
Speaker 1: Fruit should also be included, Dear God, Amen, and air
Speaker 1: conditioning Amen.
Speaker 3: Amen.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Amen, that's the affirmation for the day. That is
Speaker 5: it the way I want a four him number one.
Speaker 5: Anytime I get a massage and get turned on, it
Speaker 5: could be an eighty or a woman I'm like immediately
Speaker 5: turned on. And my dream is a forehand massage from
Speaker 5: two niggas with a happy ending.
Speaker 2: I recently had had a happy in Costa Rica and
Speaker 2: what I highly recommend.
Speaker 3: That's my dream.
Speaker 2: I've already shared on the podcast, but I'll tell you
Speaker 2: about all about it later.
Speaker 3: It's it's just it's the.
Speaker 2: Complete, it completes the massage. There's no reason to have
Speaker 2: a massage and not have a happy est. Literally literally,
Speaker 2: it just completes it. It really is the ultimate ending release.
Speaker 5: Because you're so stimulated and then like a blue ball.
Speaker 6: Yeah, when I get a massage, something happens with my
Speaker 6: like my digestive system, and I always.
Speaker 2: Have to poop when it worked for me, because okay
Speaker 2: immediately or like afterwards, like.
Speaker 6: During like the second half of the massage, I'm always like,
Speaker 6: please take it, don't push.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I'm about to ship myself on your stomach.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but no, I don't drink, probably because
Speaker 2: it's like it's the lymph nodes are lymph yeah flush.
Speaker 3: Like you're sensitive. It wouldn't work for me.
Speaker 5: I leave there like I've literally been this massage and
Speaker 5: then they leave, They're like get dressed.
Speaker 3: And I have to like rub one out. I feel you,
Speaker 3: and I'm so happy this is the last thing.
Speaker 1: But I'm so happy that you said one time you
Speaker 1: got a massage by an old lady and kind of
Speaker 1: got turned on because that happened to me, like an
Speaker 1: old tie woman, and I was like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: is wrong with you? So now that we share that
Speaker 1: in comment. I know it's not me, it's just the massage.
Speaker 3: No, it's I'm not related. I'm not I've done this.
Speaker 5: We've gotten massages together and I've had to.
Speaker 3: I don't blun wrong. I know what you're talking.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm very convinced that I have to come now
Speaker 2: after every massage, whether it's a happy ending or it's
Speaker 2: me finishing somewhere. When they leave, you know, they leave
Speaker 2: you in the room, I'm gonna have to just bring it,
Speaker 2: like a vibrator in my pocket and.
Speaker 3: No, get the oil, an idea and just to get
Speaker 3: it out real quick.
Speaker 2: What if you know they're always waiting outside with water
Speaker 2: like it's the perfect ending.
Speaker 6: What if there was a massage table with like a
Speaker 6: little thing it vibrated that everybody don't want to know
Speaker 6: people people who have had like vibrating.
Speaker 3: You're getting the massage. No, I'm honest.
Speaker 5: There's nothing like two hands like that takes me back,
Speaker 5: that takes me back to my youth.
Speaker 3: I need to get back to that because I'm I'm.
Speaker 4: Very normalize bringing vibrators to your massage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or that, or vibrator panties.
Speaker 4: A man, they have those two We'll tell our listeners
Speaker 4: where they can find you.
Speaker 5: If you are not scared, we are black Girls Texting.
Speaker 5: You can find us on iTunes, Spotify, all that good ship.
Speaker 5: We have a Patreon, Patreon, dot com, Backslash, black Girls Texting,
Speaker 5: he Instagram's Black Girls Texting, YouTube, Black Girls Texting. Chelsea
Speaker 5: allegedly tweets it's black Girls text once a month and
Speaker 5: you could cop some merch if you like. It's much
Speaker 5: more winter forward, but we're kind of like update it
Speaker 5: at some point.
Speaker 6: Yes, and you can email us at Hello at black
Speaker 6: Girls Texting, you can we take listener letters.
Speaker 3: And if you want advice from these bitches that don't
Speaker 3: know much, don't know much, but we gonna give you.
Speaker 2: Something feel free. Yes, and you guys know where to
Speaker 2: find us. Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices on Instagram, Good
Speaker 2: Mom's Bad Choices on all your podcast platforms. Make sure
Speaker 2: to join our Patreon. We have an amazing community over
Speaker 2: there growing on slack or we're all connecting you guys
Speaker 2: dm us all the time. But I'm just so happy
Speaker 2: we have the community on slack where you guys can
Speaker 2: all talk and meet up in your respective cities. This
Speaker 2: month and every month is really all about tribe. So
Speaker 2: if you are out there and you're like, damn, I.
Speaker 3: Don't have a mom in my city.
Speaker 2: I have no mom friends Like, we have a whole
Speaker 2: community of moms that are looking to hang out and
Speaker 2: connecting your city. So make sure you join our patreon.
Speaker 2: I think our slack is five dollars five dollars a
Speaker 2: month to join, and we'd be like wildn over there.
Speaker 3: Like there's a lot of dick pics and people crying.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: If you guys enjoyed this episode, make sure to go
Speaker 2: check out Black Girls Texting episode today. It dropped with
Speaker 2: us on their platform, and you know it's about to
Speaker 2: be fire and dope and hilarious, So go check that
Speaker 2: out too. Y'all want to hear about this complicated baby
Speaker 2: mama baby father drama.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to get the fresh tea. It's new
Speaker 3: to you. We don't know Gwennifer. All right, y'all, Peace
Speaker 3: my night,