1 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to PM mood then No Talking Points, no Bullshit 2 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: podcast that takes you behind the curtain, off the red carpet, 3 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 1: and to the front lines of progress with change makers 4 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: and innovators that are doing the work to shift our 5 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: culture and expand their social impact. I am super excited 6 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 1: to welcome to PM mood author and body Positive extraordinary 7 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: Sonya Renee Taylor, who is the author of the Body 8 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: Is Not An Apology The Power of Radical Self Love. Sonya, 9 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,279 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on PM mood. You 10 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: are joining us from a beautiful, magical place that I 11 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: have yet to visit, New Zealand. Yes, yes, New Zealand, 12 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: and it is indeed beautiful and magical. It is so 13 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: you know, in this we are living in a crazy time. 14 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 1: We're living in the midst of a horrific global pandemic 15 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: where I believe that self care is of the utmost 16 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 1: important at this time, Like it is, you know, many 17 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,759 Speaker 1: people are talking about this moment being a moment where 18 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,479 Speaker 1: we do need to journey inside right Like we are 19 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: physically inside in the United States, we are physically indoors 20 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 1: and in New York for me, we are literally sheltering 21 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: in place, but there is something also about taking this 22 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: opportunity to actually be in your body, and this is 23 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: what you write about and you talk about. So can 24 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: you explain. Let's just jump in with the title of 25 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: the book, that the Body is Not an apology. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 26 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: So you know the title of the book comes from 27 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: It started off as a conversation that became a poem, 28 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: that became a Facebook page, that became a movement and 29 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: a company and then a book. So that's been the 30 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: trajectory of that title. It happened first and a conversation 31 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: with a friend who was afraid she had an unintended pregnancy. 32 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 1: And I am notorious for deep inquiry into my people. 33 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: I loves business from a place of love, though, and 34 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 1: so I asked her about why she was having unprotected sex. 35 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: I knew the person was a casual partner. I knew 36 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: she wasn't really feeling him like that. And my friend 37 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,399 Speaker 1: had cerebral palsy and she said that her disability made 38 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,399 Speaker 1: it difficult for her to be sexual, so she didn't 39 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: feel entitled to ask this person to use a condom 40 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: like it would just be another thing. And I said 41 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: to her, your body is not an apology. It's not 42 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: something you offer to someone to say sorry for my disability. 43 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: And if that moment, in that moment, those words just 44 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: crystallized became something not just for her journey, but they 45 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: became something for my journey. And I was clear that 46 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: something was going to happen to him. And because I'm 47 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 1: a poet, I was like, that found awfully poetic. I'm 48 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: probably gonna write that poem. So I did. I wrote 49 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: the poem The Body. It's not an apology, And I 50 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: think that the words have always just been asking to 51 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: be more because they just felt so true, Like I 52 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,679 Speaker 1: started to be able to reflect on all the ways 53 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: in which being in this fat, black, queer, dark skin body, 54 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: I was told that that was wrong in so many 55 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: different ways, and that I should be sorry for being 56 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: in this body, and should be sorry for being in 57 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: this mind the way that it works, and should be 58 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: sorry for being in this spirit the way that it works. 59 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: And it felt so it just felt so resonant when 60 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: those words came out that I was like, right, what 61 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: are we Why are we apologizing for being humans born 62 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: in bodies whatever? Those bodies looked like Yeah, And then 63 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 1: I think the words just continued to become what it 64 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: was that they were meant to be in the world, 65 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: you know, as somebody who has I don't know. I 66 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: probably couldn't tell you the number of diets that I 67 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: have been on. I probably couldn't tell you the amount 68 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: of time and energy that I have spent pulling and 69 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: prodding and trying to fix myself in a variety of 70 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,359 Speaker 1: different ways. And so the title hit me so much 71 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: because I feel like, in all honesty, I owe my 72 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: body an apology for treating it the way that I 73 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: have treated it for the past forty years. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, 74 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: we all do in some ways. Right. Our body doesn't 75 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: actually want our apology. Our body wants our love, right 76 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 1: Like our body isn't like you owe me an apology. 77 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 1: Our bodies Like, I just want a reconciled relationship, you know, 78 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: like I just want us to be good because we're good. 79 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: And I think that the way in which we're taught that, 80 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:01,040 Speaker 1: like something is wrong and fix it, it's easy I 81 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,679 Speaker 1: think in this you know, sort of like self help world, 82 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: to turn that back on yourself and be like, Okay, 83 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: well something was wrong externally and I've been trying to 84 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: fix it. Now there must be something wrong internally and 85 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 1: I'm trying to fix it, and then we get in 86 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: this loop of like just never being good enough. I 87 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: wasn't good enough when I was diding all the time, 88 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 1: and now I'm not being good enough being body positive. 89 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,480 Speaker 1: And I think that there are all of these ways. 90 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 1: You know that we workshop participant called it meta shame, 91 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: shame for having shame. Now I'm ashamed because I have 92 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: body shame. It's like, WHOA can we ever get out? Right? 93 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: And I think that the invitation, the invitation is to 94 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,359 Speaker 1: just bring whatever it is more love, right, Like whatever 95 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: it is that you're not that you think needs fixed 96 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: actually just needs more love. So in the in the 97 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 1: book you talk about and you give definition to and 98 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: presence to radical self love, would you describe as being 99 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:04,840 Speaker 1: very different than self acceptance or self confidence? Yeah, say 100 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: more about that about what because I thought right? And 101 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily you're not saying that I that any 102 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: of us I think that is wrong. But it's just 103 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: like to think about the progression, right, the progression of 104 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,599 Speaker 1: this terminology and what it means. It's almost as a 105 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,480 Speaker 1: black lesbian, you know, it was like we started with 106 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: let's just tolerate us right, and we moved place of 107 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: tolerance to a place of no. I don't want to 108 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,600 Speaker 1: be tolerated. I actually want to be accepted. I tolerate 109 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,679 Speaker 1: Brussels sprouts without bacon, I don't, but I don't really 110 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: want to accept it in the place right right? Yeah? 111 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,919 Speaker 1: I think so. For me, I think there are a 112 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 1: couple of distinctions. The first is just my own orientation 113 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: to the world, which is that I'm I'm not interested 114 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: in simply helping individuals feel better about themselves, because just 115 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:08,919 Speaker 1: feeling better about oneself does not change the systemic and 116 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: structural issues of inequity and injustice that exist in the world. 117 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: Our individual self esteem has not toppled one system of inequality. 118 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: And so for me, this work is not just like 119 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: feel good work. This is political work. This work is 120 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 1: social justice work. And so consequently, self esteem is not 121 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: a political issue. Self esteem and self confidence our individual 122 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: They're fleeting, they're circumstantial. You look cute that day, people 123 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: notice your outfit, you feel popping. They don't notice your outfit. 124 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 1: You over here wondering whether or not you really put 125 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: it together like you thought you did. Right, So those 126 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 1: are conditional experiences and radical self love is not a 127 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: conditional experience. It's our inherent existence. It's how you arrived 128 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: here on the planet before all of the other layers 129 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: of craft showed up on top of us to tell 130 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: somehow we were deficient and so, and those messages of 131 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: deficiency are not individual messages, right, Like there's a reason 132 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: that you plus millions of other people can't count the 133 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: number of diets they've been on, including myself. That's not accidental, right, 134 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: that's the stomach. Somebody makes a lot of money off 135 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: of the fact that we're deeply invested in thinking that 136 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: something is wrong and we need to fix it. There's 137 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: an entire economic, political, and social system tied to those ideas. 138 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: And so a radical stelf love acknowledges that my inherent 139 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: existence as love is as Audrey Lord said, it's a 140 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 1: political act. It's an act of political warfare. And that 141 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: taking back my experience of being one hundred percent worthy 142 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 1: and powerful and divine in the body that I have 143 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: as it is right now, and I mean that in 144 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: the spirit, virtual, mental, and physical body is an act 145 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: that interrupts a system that profits off of us. Not 146 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: believing that that's political, that's radical, right. And then if 147 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: enough of us divest from that system, that system falls. 148 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: That's radical. And so the ways in which why do 149 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 1: you think, though, why do you think that there is 150 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: such a level of discomfort when people decide to divest 151 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 1: from that system, Because I would argue, like, you know, 152 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: let's just look at one example, pop culture example, Lizzo. 153 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: Lizzo is the example of somebody that is like, I'm 154 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: not going to be ashamed that I am, that I 155 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: am a big black woman. I like the way I look, 156 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: I like how I show up, I like the way 157 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,559 Speaker 1: I move and present, and that is uncomfortable for folks. 158 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: We are doing essays and walks about the levels of 159 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: what we feel uncomfortable that Lizzo's comfort. Yes, yes, well, 160 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: because Lizzo's comfort challenges our worldview. It challenges It means 161 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: that if Lizzo is okay in Lizzo's body, then what 162 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: if I spent the last thirty five years doing and 163 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,959 Speaker 1: what then? What where is the payoff that I will 164 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: get for the amount of investment that I put into 165 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: trying to conform to this system? Where's Lizo means that 166 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: we won't get the payoff. That's the fear, and that's 167 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: the fear, and that's the discomfort. If everybody divests, then 168 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: the thing that I built my whole life around, my 169 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: identity around, and my worth around, gets dismantled. Then we're 170 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: really left to shelter in place, to be in our 171 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 1: own selves, really having to reckon with with what we 172 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: thought our self worth was. Damn, that is so right, 173 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 1: because I'm thinking to myself. You know, I said, every 174 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: time I see her, and there are other women, but 175 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: I use her because he's very top of mind. But 176 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: it's like I look at her and it's with envy. 177 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: Why can't I show up that full right, that present? 178 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 1: And I think that for some people that envy really 179 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: turns into bitterness. Right, how dare she right? It's this 180 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 1: idea that if I can show myself And here's two 181 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: I want to talk about this as well, which is 182 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: this balance between confidence and ego and radical self love. 183 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: What are the dots that we're connecting there or not totally? 184 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,079 Speaker 1: So I think the way that I think. Again, I 185 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: use babies as an example and toddlers as an example 186 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: because they're the closest to that unfettered existence and representation 187 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: of of what radical self love really looks like. Right, 188 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: And you've never called a baby egotistical. That's an egotistical baby, 189 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: the right, You're right, And nobody's ever been like, that's 190 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,959 Speaker 1: an arrogant baby. Right, No, you're like, Wow, this baby 191 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: is totally this child is totally empowered. Right, this child 192 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: is totally connected to what an amazing, powerful being they are. 193 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: That is how we all arrived here. You have to 194 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: pass through toddlerdom. You have to pass through it. You 195 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: two at one point had that relationship with yourself and 196 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: with a clear connection to your own divinity. Ego and confidence. Again, 197 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: confidence is like I said, it's cleaving and external. You know, 198 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 1: the world giveth and the world to take it away, 199 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 1: depending on what's going on. Right, But ego, ego is 200 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 1: so rooted in comparison, and as soon as you're in 201 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 1: a system of comparison, you know you're outside of radical 202 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 1: self love, like I'm good, I'm good because I'm better than, 203 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: because I'm the top of because I have ascended to 204 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 1: Even when that comparison and oftentimes people are like, I'm 205 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: only you know, I'm comparing myself to myself. Even that 206 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: assumes that there's some version of yourself that isn't good enough, right, 207 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 1: even though it's still a system of comparison. So ego 208 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: would have us say I am somehow that my worth 209 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: is dependent upon how much I can attain, do experience 210 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: succeed at based on some comparative barometer. A right radical 211 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 1: self love doesn't need any comparison. The baby not happy 212 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 1: because you got the ABC's faster than somebody else got 213 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:56,840 Speaker 1: the ABC's. I'm over here killing kindergarten is not what's right. 214 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:02,559 Speaker 1: You're just they're just proud of themselves. They're just elated 215 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: to recognize what is possible in their own beings and 216 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: and that there's not some idea that what wasn't possible 217 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 1: yesterday was a lesser version of themselves. That, to me 218 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 1: is the difference between ego and radical self love. The 219 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: radical self love doesn't propose that there's some lesser version 220 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: of you that you are trying to escape, right, is 221 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: that there is a constant expansion and awareness, deeper connection 222 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: to our own divinding, but that wherever we were before 223 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 1: that was not some lesser version of us. You know, 224 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: I think about that. I think about what you're saying, 225 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: and what comes up to me is also the apology 226 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: that we as black people, specifically black women, are supposed 227 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 1: to make for just existing if you are somebody that is, 228 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: I am black, and I am pro black, and I 229 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: am proud of being black, and I love the variance 230 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 1: of our skin, of our identity, of the layeredness of that. 231 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: You know, that makes me anti white? Right you hear? 232 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 1: You know? Tina Knowles talked about it on Solange's album 233 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: that why is me? Loving me? Mean that I am 234 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 1: anti something else? In a system that is constructed off 235 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,320 Speaker 1: of comparison, there's no other option. So in the book 236 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 1: I give the ten tools the radical self love, and 237 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: tool number five is banished binary. And the whole purpose 238 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: of that tool is about getting out of the idea 239 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: of an either or dichotomy of relationship to ourselves and 240 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 1: to each other. Right, So that if I that if 241 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: I feel this way, it must mean that I feel 242 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: this opposite way about something else. Right that if I 243 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: love me unapologetically, it must mean that I think I'm 244 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 1: better than you. That is a that is a worldview 245 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: born out of a system of capitalism, if we're going 246 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: to connect it to the larger systems place right, So, 247 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: under a system of capitalism where supply is limited, where 248 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 1: scarcity is essential in order for us to actually operate. 249 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 1: Then you have to come from a place of if 250 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 1: I have more, it must mean you have less. If 251 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: I am more, it must mean you are less. Because 252 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: there is no other space under that worldview for us 253 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 1: to all be in fullness and abundance. And so just 254 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 1: that system, unto itself, encourages the kind of thinking that 255 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: puts us at an us or them dynamic, a binary 256 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: dynamic with one another. You know, we always talk about 257 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: wanting to make the world a better place, right, and 258 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: how do you leave the world better? And you know, 259 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 1: one of the things that has constantly been set was 260 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 1: that you start with yourself. Right. But when I think 261 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: about this system and which we are trapped in, particularly 262 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: in the United States, this system which we are seeing 263 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: right now, the myriad of ways in which we have 264 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: holes and gaps that we have allowed full people, full 265 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:14,680 Speaker 1: communities to fall through. You know, I think about in 266 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: the midst of pandemic. I keep saying that there is 267 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: opportunity in the obstacle that you can you can think 268 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 1: radically about how you shift things that I believe in 269 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: the burning down in order for the phoenix to rise. 270 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: Then all of those I believe in all of those sayings, 271 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,239 Speaker 1: But when I think about how big this system is 272 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 1: that is built on scarcity, that is built on the 273 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: haves and the have nots, and how far apart we have, 274 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 1: how far apart we have moved from that? Yeah, the 275 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: United States is the richest country, was the richest country, 276 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 1: and yet we have all of this marginalization, all of 277 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 1: this hunger, all of this economic our ability and instability. 278 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,199 Speaker 1: How do you shift and move from that scarcity to 279 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: that sense of abundance and recognition that there is enough? 280 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 1: That there is enough? Because it is a mindset, and 281 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: it's playing out in the political party structure here in 282 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 1: the United States, it's playing out around the world in 283 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,920 Speaker 1: so many different ways. How do you shift from scarcity 284 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 1: to abundance? So for me, I mean, I'm a firm 285 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 1: believer that I'm a definitely believer that we cannot build 286 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: externally what we haven't built internally, So that which we 287 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: desire to see in the world we have to create 288 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: in us. Otherwise we're not working with the tools that 289 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: are needed to create that externally. And so the first 290 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 1: place you know that I look is where is scarcity 291 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 1: operating in my own life. Where have the ideals and 292 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: constructs of this system been adopted by me? Because we 293 00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 1: are the system, and I think that's the thing that's 294 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: the most uncomfortable for us to be with, is like 295 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:05,159 Speaker 1: it's not this capitalism is not an amorphous blob that is, 296 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: you know, just hovering over all of our heads. It 297 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 1: is the last thing you bought from Amazon. It is 298 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: the last you know, like it is the choice to 299 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:21,760 Speaker 1: you know, buy fast closed, you know, made with unethically, 300 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,120 Speaker 1: you know, like we are part of those decisions. It's 301 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: the choice to you know, post that diet meme that 302 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: shames that other body about how us what they're gonna 303 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: gain during corona. We are the system and so in 304 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 1: order to and of course we're this system because we 305 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: were birthed into it, right we were We've been indoctrinated 306 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,919 Speaker 1: with all of the same ideas about that scarcity and 307 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,399 Speaker 1: about what bodies are good bodies and bad bodies, and 308 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,360 Speaker 1: what humans are worthy and valuable in which humans are not. 309 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: All of us have gotten that, all of us. And 310 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: so for me, the beginning place is where does the 311 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 1: system live in my daily life and my daily choices 312 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:05,160 Speaker 1: and my daily relationship with myself? And how I relate 313 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,679 Speaker 1: to the world. Where have I bought into the system, 314 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,920 Speaker 1: Because if I'm saying this system is not serving us, 315 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: then it's certainly not serving me in the places and 316 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 1: where I bought into So choosing to be in that exploration, 317 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,159 Speaker 1: all right, well, what are the what are the beliefs? 318 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: Um and and this is you know, I'm a person 319 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: who's just kind of naturally interly inquisitive. I'm a scorpio, 320 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 1: so I want to know all about the scorpio. What's 321 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: your birthday? November ten, November twelfth, and two days later? 322 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:43,360 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so yeah, so there's there's a natural desire 323 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,159 Speaker 1: for me to do this like deep searching. It's not 324 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,360 Speaker 1: everybody's thing I recognize, And so for people who it's 325 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:53,160 Speaker 1: not everybody's saying, there's important, it's important to have some tools, right, Like, so, 326 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: what are some signposts that I can And that's why 327 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,680 Speaker 1: I made the ten tools because I was like, oh, 328 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,200 Speaker 1: what are some easy, everyday things that people can look 329 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,359 Speaker 1: at to be like, oh, how am I invested in 330 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,640 Speaker 1: the system? One of the the great ways looking at like oh, yeah, 331 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 1: am I still dieting? Right? Because dieting means I think 332 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: there's something wrong with my body period? Right, So that's 333 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 1: a great way to be like, oh am I still 334 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 1: you know? Do I look around my life and are 335 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: there no other marginalized identities? Do I not see other 336 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 1: bodies other than my own body? Right? Do I look 337 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,680 Speaker 1: in my place of work and they all look the same? 338 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 1: Do I look in my social circle and we all 339 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 1: look the same? And if we do, is why is that? 340 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,920 Speaker 1: And why is it that I don't consider or think 341 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 1: about other people's experiences in their bodies? Right? So there 342 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 1: are just little signposts and things to do, and I 343 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 1: come out with a workbook that is based around those 344 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,719 Speaker 1: ten tools. There's really like how do I walk myself 345 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: through this process? What are the like things practical things 346 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,320 Speaker 1: that I can do every day? And you know, if 347 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 1: the body is on an apology of some of the 348 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,880 Speaker 1: we have an e course around that. And so there 349 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to do some work. And I think 350 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,120 Speaker 1: that's the thing that people will have to just step into, 351 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 1: which is like, if we want to unlearn the language 352 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 1: of oppression and body terrorism as we call it, at 353 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 1: the body is not an apology, We're gonna have to 354 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 1: We're gonna have to do some work we're gonna, you know, 355 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: the same way you wouldn't have to do some work 356 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,239 Speaker 1: if you wanted to learn a new language, any new 357 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: language you have to study. You got three you're gonna 358 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,680 Speaker 1: have to listen to other people. And people are like, oh, 359 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:34,120 Speaker 1: that seems so overwhelming, because in all honesty, right, it's 360 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 1: so much easier to go on a diet say well, 361 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: I'm just not going to eat all these things, as 362 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,639 Speaker 1: opposed to going in and doing the internal work of 363 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 1: feeling like why am I making that food? This thing 364 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,159 Speaker 1: my enemy? Right? Like why? Like because the part of 365 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 1: dieting to me is about like you have made your 366 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,560 Speaker 1: body the enemy. Yeah, I'm weighing on a skille. Oh god, 367 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,880 Speaker 1: you went up points five pounds, you went down this 368 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 1: so yeah, let's celebrate. Are you what you know? Like right? 369 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 1: But it's like this internal dive that is necessary for 370 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,199 Speaker 1: us to unlearn all of the things that we have 371 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 1: been taught from birth. Outside of moving past that toddler stage, 372 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: being fat ain't cute anymore? Right, I think? What did 373 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,880 Speaker 1: they say? Girls as young as five sixty years old 374 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,959 Speaker 1: they get it. Yeah, they get into kindergarten and all 375 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 1: of a sudden they start measuring themselves against what they're seeing. 376 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,919 Speaker 1: How Come I don't look like this little girl? How 377 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: Come I don't look like that little boy? How come 378 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 1: I you know, what is it about me? Yeah? Totally do. 379 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: I think we think it's easier to just go on 380 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,879 Speaker 1: the diagense do the internal work. But the truth of 381 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: the matter is if you really investigate what it is 382 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 1: to spend years in that conflictual relationship with one's body, 383 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 1: to spend years like just like you said, and I 384 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 1: certainly it's just true for me. The amount of energy, 385 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 1: time and money that I have spent trying to alter 386 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: my body, right, the amount of sadness and stress and 387 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,960 Speaker 1: inks every time I lost the weight and then gained 388 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: it back, right, Like, that's not it's actually not easier. 389 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: It's been much easier to just be like, fuck diets. 390 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:24,679 Speaker 1: That's been lucky. It was scarier. It was scarier, but 391 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,120 Speaker 1: it wasn't harder. And it was scarier because it meant 392 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: that I had to actually divest from a world that says, no, 393 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:37,320 Speaker 1: this is really where the payoff is. No, really, you're 394 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 1: gonna get all the things you think you want when 395 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: you hit X pounds, right, That's that's scary to give 396 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 1: up hope on that entire system. But once you give 397 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: up hope on that entire system, you recognize what an 398 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 1: illusion the system was, and then you're like, oh, I 399 00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:01,640 Speaker 1: was tripping. Yeah, so yeah, walking walking through the door 400 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 1: is scary, but it's not harder. Do you find yours? 401 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 1: I mean, you are clearly very evolved and in a 402 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 1: place where you are I'm going to teach people, I'm 403 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,720 Speaker 1: going to show them right. And you know, I love 404 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: your Instagram because your Instagram is life. It provides such 405 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,880 Speaker 1: a light on, you know, on so many things. What 406 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,200 Speaker 1: do you do if and when you find yourself slipping 407 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,760 Speaker 1: back into the mentality that you have been working day 408 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,679 Speaker 1: in and day out to unlearn And I do, and 409 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: I will unless I'm, you know, miraculously wind up in 410 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: some other alternate universe where all these systems don't exist anymore. 411 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 1: Then I'm always I'm at the lim of those systems too, 412 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 1: And those messages show up for me the same way 413 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,879 Speaker 1: that they show for anyone else, the differences. I have 414 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,120 Speaker 1: some tools today to practice. I have practices. So for example, 415 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 1: when I was appearing to go to the States, and 416 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: I recognize I always want to be mindful that oftentimes 417 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 1: in the conversation when we're talking about the bodies, not 418 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 1: an apology and about this work, drifts to wait because 419 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: I think it's one of those things it's like easy 420 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,399 Speaker 1: for us to touch. But there's I'm talking about the 421 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,119 Speaker 1: fullness of our bodies and I'm talking about the fullness 422 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,959 Speaker 1: of our identities, and so you know, like I'm not 423 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 1: just talking about, oh, I noticed that gained some weight. 424 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 1: It's also oh, where does anti blackness live in me? 425 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,680 Speaker 1: Where's my internalized homophobia and my transphobia, where's my ableism 426 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,480 Speaker 1: showing up? Like all of these things live in this conversation. 427 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,639 Speaker 1: But to give an example of just like practical tools is, 428 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: I was getting ready to go to the States to 429 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: go on tour right before you know, pandemic Pandemic twenty 430 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 1: twenty rolled out, and I went in my closet and 431 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 1: I was going to pack a thing and I couldn't 432 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 1: fit it anymore. And the immediate thought, because I too 433 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 1: have been indoctrinated into a system that says like, oh, 434 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,440 Speaker 1: something's wrong with you if you can't fit a B 435 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,480 Speaker 1: and C. Right, So I found myself self going into 436 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 1: this voice what I call the outside voice inside of us, 437 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 1: the spiral about how I'm wrong, and then I caught myself. 438 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: And that's the difference days that I am able to 439 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,760 Speaker 1: catch that when that happens because I know that that 440 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 1: voice isn't my voice. I have enough awareness now to 441 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 1: be like, oh, that's not my voice. That's the system 442 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: talking through me right now, and that has some tools. 443 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,680 Speaker 1: So one of the tools that's in the body is 444 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 1: not an apologies toolkit, is reframe your framework. And it's like, 445 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 1: what's the perspective that you're starting with, and how can 446 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 1: you flip that perspective so that it is one that's 447 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:41,200 Speaker 1: less adversarial to your body? And so immediately I was like, science, 448 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: that shirt it's been in your closet since two thousand 449 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 1: and nine, so it's like eleven years old. Sign the 450 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 1: shirt is eleven years old, homies, What has changed in 451 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:06,119 Speaker 1: your life? Eleven years? Everything? Everything, everything, everything, everything, every 452 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,920 Speaker 1: like I live in a whole new country right, like 453 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: everything has changed. And then I said, so what makes 454 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:18,040 Speaker 1: you think your body should not happen? And then and 455 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, yeah, I'm tripping. And then 456 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:24,800 Speaker 1: I went on and attacked my clothes. And so that's 457 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 1: the process. That's what happens when you have tools, is 458 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 1: that tools actually help you recalibrate when you start to 459 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,240 Speaker 1: drive off the road. It's like its own little its 460 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 1: own little system, the lines the car. I mean, my 461 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: I cannot tell you like that story hit me that 462 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: it I don't know how many times I have been 463 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,360 Speaker 1: in that situation. And instead of running through that process 464 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: which I will now use and the panage people box, 465 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,320 Speaker 1: I've been like, what end is wrong with you? How 466 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,479 Speaker 1: could you possibly not? Like? How can we imagine that 467 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 1: life changes so much, so much in a year? Look 468 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: what has happened right now in the world, right? Look, 469 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:17,360 Speaker 1: I mean, look is what has happened from February until April. Right. 470 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:22,280 Speaker 1: But I'm expecting things that are static hanging in my closet. 471 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: I'm expecting my body not to have changed in any way. 472 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: But the world around me its change is change everything? Yeah, 473 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 1: and what does it look like to give you know? 474 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: Like I'll tea belt list says you know, everything we touch, 475 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: we change, everything we change changes us. The only constant 476 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: is changed. God has changed, and so right so to 477 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 1: trust that with our own bodies? Right? If God has changed, 478 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: then all the ways that my body changes is a 479 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: manifestation of God. That's a beautiful way to hold that, 480 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 1: you know. So it's a about changing our mindsets around 481 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: how we approach the conversation. Because the external conversation is 482 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 1: going to be the same one has been for thousands 483 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,440 Speaker 1: of years at this point, but our internal conversation gets 484 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,440 Speaker 1: to be a different one. We get to pick that one. 485 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm coming to New Zealand. I'm booking 486 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 1: a dad. I assume the corona done soon, the corona done? 487 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 1: You're still there, I'm coming. Come on. I need to 488 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 1: sit there with some incense, some green jews and I'm 489 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: a soaps. Yeah, oh, come on, I welcome it. One 490 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,959 Speaker 1: of the last questions that I ask guests on PM 491 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 1: mood is how do you get in the mood to 492 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 1: change the world? What does that look like for you? 493 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 1: It's all a spiritual practice today it is I ask 494 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 1: for guidance recognizing that when I'm just operating off to 495 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 1: the Sonya's old decisions, the world gets changed in kind 496 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 1: of in ways I'm not necessarily interested in having it 497 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: and so really tapping it. And I think it's important 498 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,160 Speaker 1: for people to be willing to tap into whatever spirit 499 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: is for them, right, Like I don't care if you 500 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 1: call it God, call it God. If you call it intuition, 501 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: call it intuition, but call it you know, like call it. 502 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: Because there's the difference between when I talk about the 503 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,239 Speaker 1: outside voice, the system voice, the voice that tells us 504 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: for deficient and not good enough and failing, and then 505 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 1: there's the inside voice, right, and the inside voice is 506 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 1: the voice that actually knows knows our divinity, knows our worthiness, 507 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 1: knows our enoughness. And that voice it's about learning how 508 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 1: to turn up the volume on that voice. And part 509 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 1: of that for me is being in a spiritual practice 510 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: where I actually just ask to be a clearer vessel, 511 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:53,800 Speaker 1: clearer for myself and clearer for the world, and being 512 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,959 Speaker 1: an intentional practice. And I'm currently very much like in 513 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 1: the throes of learning what that is because it requires 514 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: me to give up things that I really really like, 515 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:06,120 Speaker 1: like things like coffee and like sleeping in late. And 516 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: it's like, no, actually, if you want to be a 517 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: clear revessel, you gotta there are times when you're go 518 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 1: ahead to wake up when the sun come up so 519 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 1: that you can see, so things can be illuminated to you, right, 520 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 1: And so I am learning how to give myself over 521 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: to that process more so that I can be who 522 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 1: it is I really desire to be in the world, 523 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 1: which is just the manifestation of my highest version of it. 524 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 1: It's who I already was, It's who I've been until 525 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 1: all these other layers got put on. So I'm learning 526 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: to strip away the layers. Sonia, you are a treasure 527 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 1: and a damn gift. Thank you so much. Thank you 528 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,760 Speaker 1: so much for your work. Thank you so much for 529 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,719 Speaker 1: radically changing and making some shifts in me. If I 530 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:53,120 Speaker 1: could have showed the vibration that went through when you 531 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,719 Speaker 1: said several things, that's how I feel, and that's how 532 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 1: I hope people feel after they listen to this episode. 533 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,920 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thanks for inviting me. I so 534 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 1: appreciate it. It's a good conversation to start today off with. 535 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to this week's PM mood. My political podcast, 536 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:14,360 Speaker 1: woke AF Daily is on Patreon for just five dollars 537 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: a month. That's five new hour long shows every week 538 00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:22,240 Speaker 1: for just five dollars a month. Join the conversation now 539 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: at patreon dot com slash woke AF and you can 540 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 1: continue listening to PM mood every week absolutely free. Now 541 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 1: more than ever we see the importance of independent media, 542 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 1: so thank you for your support and as always, stay 543 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 1: in the PM mood to change the world.