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Speaker 1: Hey, it's key On and this is Carly, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: Well before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: I can't stand my mother in law and it's hurting

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Speaker 3: my relationship.

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Speaker 4: Well that sounds about right.

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Speaker 3: And this comes directly from the oslash Okay Storytime subred it.

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Speaker 3: No freaking way, yeah freaking way. I twenty five female

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Speaker 3: have been dating Jake twenty three mail for over two years.

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Speaker 3: He is a full time psychology student and works part

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Speaker 3: time on weekends. His home situation is really messy, by

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Speaker 3: the way. This comes from user Realistic Tension eight six

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Speaker 3: seven and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay story Time subred it

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Speaker 3: where this story was submitted. I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and

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Speaker 3: we're here to give good advice googly, But we don't

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Speaker 3: have all the answers to lives questions. We only know

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Speaker 3: what we know. So if you know things that we

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Speaker 3: don't know, which you probably do know, let us know

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Speaker 3: in the comments below. He has two sisters. One is

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Speaker 3: nineteen and the other is four, and they all have

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Speaker 3: different fathers. Woo not judging. I was that's cool, but

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Speaker 3: this will be relevant later. They all live with Michael,

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Speaker 3: his stepdad, in Michael's house. His mom, Sarah, currently doesn't work.

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Speaker 3: She does small things to get some extra cash, but

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Speaker 3: it's not enough to cover even the basics for Jake

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Speaker 3: and his nineteen year old sister, while the youngest gets

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Speaker 3: at least the basics from the stepdad. Jake has been

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Speaker 3: parentified since he was a little boy, and it honestly

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Speaker 3: breaks my heart to hear him recall some very hurtful

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Speaker 3: and completely avoidable situations where he had to be the

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Speaker 3: adult while having a mother. At the time, they were

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Speaker 3: living with his grandparents. Here's some examples. Sarah used to

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Speaker 3: work in a certain beauty care center where Jake and

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Speaker 3: his sister used to go after school. His mom used

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Speaker 3: to make him quote make the man go away when

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Speaker 3: being flirted with by guys she didn't fancy.

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Speaker 5: Whoa how would this child even do that?

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Speaker 3: I think he was okay, So it continues being only

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Speaker 3: a teen, which I guess is better than being ten,

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Speaker 3: but still, like what, I'm not responsible for making the

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Speaker 3: men go away?

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Speaker 1: Mother?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I am a child. He had to challenge grown

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Speaker 3: men to leave his mom alone like she was a

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Speaker 3: helpless damsel in distress, and it made him very uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: When Sarah got pregnant with the youngest sibling, the grandparents

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Speaker 3: decided they had had enough and told her she should

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Speaker 3: live with the future baby's father and make an honest living,

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Speaker 3: partly based on religious beliefs. However, she made it seem

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Speaker 3: like they were heartlessly booting a pregnant woman and two

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Speaker 3: teens onto the streets for no reason. Then they went

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Speaker 3: to live with a stepdad, and Jake didn't even have

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Speaker 3: a room inside the house, which I think is not legal.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if they're kids.

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Speaker 3: If they're miners, they gotta have a room in the house,

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Speaker 3: or that's neglect. I think you gotta at least be

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Speaker 3: able to like share.

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Speaker 4: A room, right, right, right, wouldn't you say that?

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Speaker 6: Right?

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Speaker 3: He was sleeping in a room in his stepfather's brother

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Speaker 3: which was right behind the main house, with a guy

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Speaker 3: he didn't know well. In my opinion, as the daughter

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Speaker 3: of a single mom myself and someone who has friends

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Speaker 3: and family who are children of single parents, she became

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Speaker 3: comfortable having her kids taken care of by the grandparents

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Speaker 3: even though she was not a working woman, she did

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Speaker 3: not achieve major things that would make their lives stable

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Speaker 3: and comfortable, like owning a car, learning how to drive

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Speaker 3: in a big city, having her own place, or at

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Speaker 3: least renting somewhere where she didn't depend on a partner

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Speaker 3: or the grandparents. For context, Jake got a full scholarship

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Speaker 3: and still has to work to afford everything else, eating out, clothes, medications,

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Speaker 3: public transport, and university supplies. On top of that, he

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Speaker 3: sometimes contributes to household expenses like hot water, dog food,

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Speaker 3: transportation for his sister, and even pocket money for her.

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Speaker 3: At some point, he was even paying for Sarah's therapy. Wow,

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Speaker 3: you're paying for your own mom's therapy. I mean, I

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Speaker 3: guess that's a solid investment. You'd be like think, I mean,

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Speaker 3: at least he'll stop right right.

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Speaker 4: That is true, But that's tough man.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, YoY. Moving to the present, Sarah got really sick,

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Speaker 3: almost level sick. The family has been very caring and

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Speaker 3: has made sure she gets treatment, but because of their

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Speaker 3: financial situation, getting her surgery has been extremely difficult. While

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Speaker 3: navigating the healthcare system, My relationship with my mother in

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Speaker 3: law is very strange. We get along, but we've never

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Speaker 3: shared a meaningful moment. A few times I've been at

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Speaker 3: her house, I didn't feel welcome. She greets me when

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Speaker 3: I arrived, but Michael will be sitting on his phone

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Speaker 3: and I have to go say hello to him myself.

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Speaker 3: It's like, dude, it's your house. I was invited here,

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Speaker 3: be a host or something. Sarah never says anything about it.

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Speaker 3: Jake has had several conversations with Michael because he doesn't

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Speaker 3: take proper care of Roxanne, his little sister. For example,

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Speaker 3: Roxanne has fallen and cried her eyes out while Michael

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Speaker 3: just sat on the couch scrolling on his phone, acting

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Speaker 3: like he was deaf or something.

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Speaker 4: Is he hmmm?

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Speaker 3: Have we thought about this? Michael can't actually hear anything

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Speaker 3: new development, and he's just been playing it cool. Everyone

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Speaker 3: knows the classic play at cool act like you're not

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Speaker 3: deaf when you deaf?

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Speaker 4: Move classic move.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, Like what is going on? Those conversations went very badly,

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Speaker 3: with Michael feeling deeply offended and then making Sarah angry

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Speaker 3: at Jake. Meanwhile, Sarah keeps complaining to Jake that Michael

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Speaker 3: can't be bothered to do laundry dishes or give her

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Speaker 3: enough money for groceries. And they broke up once, making

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Speaker 3: them half moving again to the grandparents' house, only to

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Speaker 3: get back together and had move in gradually again. Jake

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Speaker 3: had to sleep on a mattress on the floor in

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Speaker 3: the living room because they didn't have proper sleeping arrangements

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Speaker 3: at the grandparents You know, mattress in the living room

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Speaker 3: is better than.

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Speaker 4: Nothing, true ducks though, but you know.

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Speaker 3: And it's really only tenable for like a day or two,

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Speaker 3: not long term situation, you know. Lately, I've been encouraging

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Speaker 3: Jake to ask his biofather for child support, and I

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Speaker 3: found out Jake doesn't even know his father's name. Sarah

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Speaker 3: refuses to give him any details other than saying that

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Speaker 3: the man was married and ran away to another country

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Speaker 3: when he found out about the pregnancy. To me, that

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Speaker 3: excuse sounds a little too perfect, and I think she's

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Speaker 3: hiding important information about Jake's biological father, maybe for pity

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Speaker 3: or whatever. Neither of the other siblings have a proper

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Speaker 3: child support arrangement. I keep telling Jay to get more

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Speaker 3: information and try to look for his biological father, not

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Speaker 3: just for money, but so my dear boyfriend could breathe

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Speaker 3: a little or maybe afford a master's degree in the future,

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Speaker 3: but also to learn about his cultural heritage, genetics, and

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Speaker 3: family history. I insisted, and Jake talked to Sarah, but

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Speaker 3: she downplayed the conversation and said they'd talk about it later.

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Speaker 3: So I contacted my mother in law directly telling her

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Speaker 3: I was contacting a lawyer to start the process and

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Speaker 3: get the biodad declared as his dad through DNA, a

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Speaker 3: long and not always successful process to prove paternity, and

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Speaker 3: would need some details like name, address, or whatever info

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Speaker 3: she had in a very respectful way, trying to not

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Speaker 3: overstep but acting in Jake's best interest. Her response made

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Speaker 3: my jaw drop. In a very long series of messages,

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Speaker 3: she told me she was going to handle it herself, like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: because you've done such a great job over the past

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Speaker 3: twenty three years. This was almost two months ago and

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Speaker 3: still nothing, no info, no names, no children. So it's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: my children don't have enough money to do anything, and

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Speaker 3: then she proceeds to do absolutely nothing about it. I

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Speaker 3: don't think we can let Sarah be, you know, taking

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Speaker 3: point on any of this. I think we need to

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Speaker 3: start looking. We need to start scrounging around for stuff ourselves.

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Speaker 4: I feel like there's a way to do it for sure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you can reach out to well, I

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Speaker 3: mean there's other companies. Jake can do his own tests.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you can get anything out like

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Speaker 3: the hospital, if there's a burth certificate, you know, or what.

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Speaker 3: Because even if the dad like ran off, he should

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Speaker 3: still probably be on the birth certificate unless just straight

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Speaker 3: up never knew who he was. Yeah, but yeah, all

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Speaker 3: of those are possible. Now. Every time Sarah comes up

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Speaker 3: in conversation, whether about her health or the I a

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Speaker 3: drama with Michael, I get a stomach ache, feel dizzy,

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Speaker 3: and feel completely fed up. Everything involving her is bad, chaotic,

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Speaker 3: and damaging to Jake's mental health. The last straw for

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Speaker 3: me was what happened a few months ago on Jake's birthday.

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Speaker 3: I offered to take care of the celebration and contribute

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Speaker 3: with decorations, food, cake, everything I could help with. However,

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Speaker 3: Sarah rejected the idea and said she could handle it

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Speaker 3: and that there was no problem. Even so, I brought

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Speaker 3: some food in, like little cupcakes that honestly saved the

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Speaker 3: meal a bit and I also surprised Jake by bringing

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Speaker 3: his best friend. The celebration took place at Michael's house.

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Speaker 3: Michael didn't even bother to say happy birthday to Jake

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Speaker 3: at any point during the entire day. Then why are

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Speaker 3: we hosting it at his place? What he is our enemy?

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Speaker 3: My mother in law didn't say anything about it. I

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Speaker 3: insisted all day long, and even the day before on

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Speaker 3: at least checking on the cake, but Sarah kept telling

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Speaker 3: me that everything was fine and that she would take

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Speaker 3: care of it. On the day of the celebration, about

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Speaker 3: an hour before I left my house, I reminded her

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Speaker 3: again about the cake, and once again she said she

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Speaker 3: had it covered. I said, okay. Later I realized that

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Speaker 3: after I arrived with Jake's best friend, mother in law

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Speaker 3: went out to buy the cake while we were already

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Speaker 3: there celebrating. It made me feel like there had been

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Speaker 3: very little preparation, very little affection, and very little intention

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Speaker 3: to make Jake's stay important, especially considering how much he

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Speaker 3: sacrifices for his entire family. It didn't feel like a

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Speaker 3: proper celebration, and at the end of the day, Jake

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Speaker 3: told me he felt a bit disappointed and that he

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Speaker 3: had expected a little more his grandparents didn't attend. Currently,

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Speaker 3: Jake and I are a long distance for a couple

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Speaker 3: of months because of my degree, and I've been feeling

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Speaker 3: less anxious since we talk less and I don't hear

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Speaker 3: anything about his mom. The thing is, I love Jake deeply,

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Speaker 3: and I care for him. I take care of him,

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Speaker 3: and I enjoy our time together. But his relationship with

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Speaker 3: his mom and family dynamics are literally making me sick.

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Speaker 3: I swear my eyes are going to roll back into

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Speaker 3: my skull from how hard I roll him every time

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Speaker 3: he talks about the latest drama involving my mother in law. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I think you can put up a barrier of like,

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Speaker 3: you know what, I think your mom, my mother in law.

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Speaker 3: I would like us to not talk about her anymore. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think you can talk to her with maybe a therapist.

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Speaker 3: Maybe y'all should get some counseling. Maybe you could talk

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Speaker 3: to your best bro about it. But I no longer

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Speaker 3: want to speak about your mother in law and your

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Speaker 3: problems because it impacts me and I just don't like

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Speaker 3: it and there's no solution.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so too.

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Speaker 3: Just be super honest, just like that there's a little

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Speaker 3: bit more story. I recently realized that I've unconsciously stopped

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Speaker 3: planning my future with Jake. I feel discussed thinking that

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Speaker 3: mother in law would be a constant drama in my

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Speaker 3: boyfriend's life, even though he could go no contact in

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Speaker 3: the future. He has mentioned before he's still tight with

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Speaker 3: his sister and feels responsible for them. I used to

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Speaker 3: imagine a future together. Now I'm not so sure. I

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Speaker 3: sometimes just want to yell at my mother in law

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Speaker 3: to grow up, be better, stand up for her children,

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Speaker 3: give them stability and a role model to follow, et cetera.

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Speaker 3: I came here for support, opinions, and advice. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: think you just set that boundary and move on with

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Speaker 3: your lives.

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Speaker 4: You know, Yeah, I completely agree. And that's the end

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Speaker 4: of this story. We're going on to the next one.

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Speaker 5: My mother in law went from the best to a

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Speaker 5: total nightmare after I gave.

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Speaker 3: Birth because she wants the baby.

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Speaker 5: My husband and I have been together for four years

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Speaker 5: and married for two. His parents had been the sweetest

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Speaker 5: supportive during renovating our home, wedding planning, and even during

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Speaker 5: my pregnancy. We would see them one to two times

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Speaker 5: every week for dinner, day trips out, and even just

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Speaker 5: pop by for cups of.

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Speaker 4: Tea and cake.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Ideal Informal nineteen thirty two,

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Speaker 5: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 5: to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate And I'm Angie.

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Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, and we're here for given good advice Goofer Lee.

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Speaker 4: But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 5: We just know we were do in these situations, So

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Speaker 5: let us know what you would do in the commons,

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Speaker 5: Opie says. Everyone around me was really jealous that I

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Speaker 5: had the perfect parents in law. I'd get on really

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Speaker 5: well with the mother in law too. We'd go shopping together,

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Speaker 5: make cakes, go to car boots, confide any each other.

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Speaker 5: I really trusted her and at times felt like my

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Speaker 5: relationship with her was better than with my own mother.

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Speaker 5: Now this perfect relationship has had a complete one pint

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Speaker 5: eighty since the birth of our baby, and it's not

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Speaker 5: getting resolved, and it seems to be getting worse as

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Speaker 5: time goes by. Our baby was born in March twenty

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Speaker 5: twenty five, lovely home birth planned, and my parents in

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Speaker 5: law turned up minutes after the baby was here to

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Speaker 5: help clean up the house as I had to go

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Speaker 5: into hospital for stitches and monitoring, which at the time

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Speaker 5: I felt was supportive. My husband and I then decided

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Speaker 5: that we wanted to be in our new parent bubble

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Speaker 5: for the first weekend and out of the hospital appointments,

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Speaker 5: John distesting tongue tie cuts and navigating breastfeeding, all with

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Speaker 5: a baby that would sleep anywhere but on me.

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Speaker 4: It was tough.

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Speaker 5: That week felt like the longest week ever, but we

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Speaker 5: eventually made it through and my parents in law were

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Speaker 5: invited to meet our baby. For some backstory, now, my

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Speaker 5: mother in law has been a childminder for thirty years

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Speaker 5: that's in quotes, but hasn't been doing it for the

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Speaker 5: last ten to fifteen years. Officially, she baby sits a

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Speaker 5: kid on her road every week, but she has been

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Speaker 5: a quote no at all during my pregnancy, preparing and

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Speaker 5: brainwashing my husband and I to do things a certain

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Speaker 5: way like she raised her kids. Anyway, she meets our

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Speaker 5: baby and proceeds to show us how to burp them

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Speaker 5: as they are quite gassy. My husband and I didn't

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Speaker 5: like how she handled him, not completely supporting his head.

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Speaker 5: She then does bicycle wheels with their legs and we

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Speaker 5: hear a click. At this point, we jump up to

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Speaker 5: take the baby from her.

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Speaker 4: Oh boy, a click.

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Speaker 5: Over the course of the next couple of weeks, she

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Speaker 5: buys cot bedding for the pram because she doesn't want

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Speaker 5: us putting our baby in there without a sheet, even

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Speaker 5: though it's not recommended. She buys a bike for our

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Speaker 5: baby's first birthday without asking us, et cetera.

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Speaker 4: That's really funny.

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Speaker 3: It's maybe a little too early. One year old baby

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Speaker 3: on the bike.

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Speaker 5: The bike, I mean hopefully it's like those little bikes

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Speaker 5: with like no wheels and you just like on it

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Speaker 5: or something like you just sit and like.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, there's no pedals. They just like it's

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Speaker 3: like a running bike.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, no pedals.

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Speaker 3: Not have you ever seen the videos of like all

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Speaker 3: the kids like racing on those like little kids, Like

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Speaker 3: it's like before like you do dirt biking and it

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Speaker 3: has like a motor. It's like when they're like like

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Speaker 3: four or five, they're all racing on little dirt bikes

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Speaker 3: with no pedals and they're just like running with their legs.

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Speaker 4: That's so funny.

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Speaker 3: It is a hilarious sight and honestly like entertaining to watch.

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Speaker 4: Are they on like a dirt bike road.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're on like a dirt bike path. Like they're

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Speaker 3: on like a dirt bike route.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll be watching that later.

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Speaker 3: Anyway.

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Speaker 5: Our baby is now three weeks old and she is

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Speaker 5: hosting a family get together at Easter, and it's an

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Speaker 5: hour away. At this point, my husband and I weren't

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Speaker 5: comfortable taking our baby in the car for that long,

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Speaker 5: and we decide to decline the invitation. We then get

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Speaker 5: manipulated into going as it'll be our baby's first Easter

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Speaker 5: and keep the peace. My husband decides that we should go.

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Speaker 5: This turns into the biggest bad decision we've made, as

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Speaker 5: the whole event was a disaster.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 5: So, my aunt in law is a qualified midwife, but

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Speaker 5: isn't working as one as she was fired shortly after qualification.

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Speaker 5: This is another story. So now she works as a

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Speaker 5: nanny for the rich. That's pretty crazy, though, you fired

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Speaker 5: from a midwife, Now let's be a nanny. That feels

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Speaker 5: like you got to go into a completely different like industry.

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Speaker 3: Maybe just pivot to like accounting or something.

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Speaker 4: Sure, get into that.

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Speaker 5: She was at this family gathering showing us how to

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Speaker 5: put nappies on, not like we've been doing it for

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Speaker 5: the last three weeks, and watching me breastfeed, telling me

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Speaker 5: to feed on a schedule when I want to feed

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Speaker 5: on demand, telling us to put our baby down in

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Speaker 5: there pram to cry while.

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Speaker 4: We eat dinner.

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Speaker 5: And it was really stressful, taking any confidence my husband

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Speaker 5: and I had away and making us feel like we're

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Speaker 5: not doing it right, but also stressed by having to

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Speaker 5: justify why we want to do it our way instead.

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Speaker 4: We left with the comment of my husband snapping at his.

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Speaker 5: Mom saying, don't you add to this too, or something

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Speaker 5: along those lines. Even though my mother in law hadn't

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Speaker 5: said much at this family event, she had made comments before,

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Speaker 5: so my husband was preemptively saying this anyway. She took

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Speaker 5: huge offense and rang him the next day, moaning playing

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Speaker 5: victim and putting her point across in these words, I'll

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Speaker 5: never forget you continue parenting like this, you will fail

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Speaker 5: your baby. They will still be a knappies when they

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Speaker 5: go to school and won't know how to use a

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Speaker 5: knife at a fuck.

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Speaker 3: Nah. Yeah, you're all gonna raise a little poopy pants Handyita.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I honestly was expecting that to be worse.

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Speaker 5: Not gonna lie if these words that you'll never forget

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Speaker 5: putting her point.

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Speaker 4: Across, I mean it's still like it's still like, hey, mom,

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Speaker 4: calm down. Yeah, but I was expecting that to bead.

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Speaker 3: And it's like just because like what because we don't

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Speaker 3: want to do the exact same thing that you did

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Speaker 3: or did or do. I mean, it's good to like

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Speaker 3: hear people's advice, but then it's like, you know, you

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Speaker 3: weigh it against what you what else you've heard, Like

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Speaker 3: just because someone is your parent doesn't mean they're an

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Speaker 3: expert in anything.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 5: So after this, we didn't speak to her for a while.

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Speaker 5: Then she randomly came around one day in tears, apologizing

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Speaker 5: and claiming that she doesn't know how to be a grandmother.

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Speaker 5: We then tried to put it behind us. By three months,

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Speaker 5: our baby was still needing support with holding his head

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Speaker 5: and his mother in law is throwing him up in

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Speaker 5: the air and catching him.

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Speaker 3: Oh dude, no, no, no, I'm an idiot, and even

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Speaker 3: I know you don't do that with a three month

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Speaker 3: old baby. Oooh young gotta wait for them to get

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Speaker 3: a little sturdier, dude.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, our baby was smiling, but we were very

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Speaker 5: uncomfortable seeing this as we hadn't done that with him

377
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Speaker 5: yet and weren't sure he was ready for it, which

378
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 5: made us on edge and continued to be on edge

379
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Speaker 5: anytime the mother in law would pick our baby up

380
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Speaker 5: or interact with him. This, obviously, over time created an

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Speaker 5: atmosphere that the mother in law picked up on, and

382
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Speaker 5: at the age of four months there was a huge

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Speaker 5: family argument. And this happened after countless times my husband

384
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Speaker 5: and I asserting we're doing it our way and explaining why,

385
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Speaker 5: which was met by no respect from her and only

386
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Speaker 5: offense that we were doing it our way and trusting

387
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,880
Speaker 5: our own research and current guidance instead of hers. Anyway,

388
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,120
Speaker 5: this huge argument blew out with my mother in law

389
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Speaker 5: complaining about me getting my front airbags out all the

390
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Speaker 5: time to feed my baby and she didn't like seeing it.

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Speaker 3: Well, go, then, do you see these two things on

392
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,439
Speaker 3: your face called your eyes? You can do this, I

393
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 3: look away, I look away from that, or you can

394
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 3: look right at me and you can just close them,

395
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 3: close them and you say, oh pee, Tell me when

396
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Speaker 3: you put the biddies away, yep. Tell me when your

397
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,640
Speaker 3: chest is backing, you should.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, then you're good.

399
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Speaker 5: But it's not that hard the fact that we didn't

400
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Speaker 5: want anyone but me and my husband to kiss our baby.

401
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:47,119
Speaker 3: Which is very backed up by science. Dumb, dumb.

402
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,679
Speaker 5: Yeah, we were told to use our common sense and

403
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,439
Speaker 5: respect her as an elder with experience. She complained that

404
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 5: none of her friends had met our baby yet and

405
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 5: are mortified how other people just hand her the baby

406
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 5: when they see her and we don't. She then says

407
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 5: that she's a scare and storms upstairs, yelling at us

408
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 5: to get out of her house.

409
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I gotta love weaponizing a diagnosis when the conversation

410
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 3: is just we're gonna parent our child and you can

411
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Speaker 3: give us advice, but we're not always gonna listen to

412
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Speaker 3: it because we're parenting our child.

413
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:19,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

414
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 5: Like it's not even that you can't see the child.

415
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,160
Speaker 5: Like they're not saying that, not yet anyway. They're literally

416
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 5: just saying, like, yo, you gotta respect what we're doing

417
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Speaker 5: as parents.

418
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Speaker 3: Yeah.

419
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Speaker 5: Like if her mindset is that like, well, I've had

420
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Speaker 5: a scare, I really want to be around family now,

421
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Speaker 5: and I feel like I'm missing out on these these memories,

422
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 5: it's like.

423
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Speaker 4: Well, you don't have to.

424
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 5: You just have to such a trap when it comes

425
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 5: to parenting advice shut it. At this point we leave

426
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 5: as she wasn't listening to anything you were saying and

427
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 5: it was just a huge attack on how we're parenting

428
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Speaker 5: and it's none of her business.

429
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Speaker 4: Two months go by with no contact.

430
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Speaker 5: Then my father in law starts randomly turning up at

431
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 5: our house unannounced, wanting to see his grandson, and I

432
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 5: feel bad for him because he hasn't caused or done

433
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 5: anything wrong, only enabled his wife's behavior. We then start

434
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 5: having a relationship with him like we used to, and

435
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 5: things fall back into normal almost anyway. Clearly mother in

436
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 5: law doesn't like this, and the father in law starts

437
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 5: to try and rebuild bridges. The mother in law is

438
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 5: demanding an apology and wants to change our baby's nappy

439
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 5: and take them out in the pram on her own

440
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,120
Speaker 5: for an hour to prove we trust her.

441
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 4: At this point, my.

442
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,400
Speaker 5: Husband and I just think she's made this one thousand

443
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 5: percent times worse and why would we trust her after everything.

444
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 5: I propose that we just try and start again with

445
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 5: a clean slate, and she says no. Another month goes

446
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 5: by with no contact, Then at eight months old, she

447
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,439
Speaker 5: just starts turning up with my father in law unannounced

448
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 5: with random gifts for our baby, and it's magogward. The

449
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 5: elephant in the room stares at my husband and I,

450
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 5: yet no one addresses it. They do this four times,

451
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 5: and even when I've had my family around, they've turned

452
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 5: up and pushed them out.

453
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 4: It's so rude. Oh my god, what.

454
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 5: We've been doing dinner and they've just turned up each time.

455
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 5: My husband has kindly said, give us a call please

456
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 5: before you turn up, and she ignores him.

457
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 4: The last visit, she picks.

458
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 5: Up our baby from their play mat happily playing because

459
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 5: she wants a cuddle, but she doesn't ask. My husband

460
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 5: kindly asks her to put them down as they were playing,

461
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 5: and she ignores him twice before she finally does it.

462
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 3: Anyway, Okay, like that, I feel like was the thing

463
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,120
Speaker 3: I've heard where I'm like, all right now, we're actually

464
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 3: probably going a little too far, where it's like being

465
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 3: like the baby was in the middle of playing and

466
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 3: the baby needs to finish playing before you pick it

467
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 3: up and go hello baby. Yeah, yeah, that feels like

468
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:46,120
Speaker 3: a little too far to me. Yeah, I you're gonna

469
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 3: put the baby back down, the baby gonna be okay,

470
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 3: that's true.

471
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 4: You can put babyback down.

472
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 3: But Grandma's just saying Hi, Grandma's not gonna go. Oh,

473
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 3: I'll wait until you're done with your blocks, and then

474
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 3: I'll pick you up and give you a hug. It's like, nope,

475
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 3: I'm actually gonna pick you up give you a hog

476
00:21:58,560 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 3: right now.

477
00:21:59,000 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 4: Right right.

478
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 5: I mean, I guess if the baby starts crying when

479
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 5: he gets picked up that it's like, okay, well he was.

480
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 4: Just happy a second ago and you ruined it.

481
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't understand that's different.

482
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 4: But yeah, that makes sense.

483
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 5: My husband kindly asks her to put him down as

484
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,679
Speaker 5: they were playing, and she ignores him twice before she

485
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,120
Speaker 5: finally does it. Anyway, two weeks have passed and this

486
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 5: brings us up to present day. Five days before Christmas,

487
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 5: we discussed how we were going to see them and

488
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 5: exchange gifts and Christmas, and as Christmas hasn't been discussed

489
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 5: with them, we are only free Christmas Eve morning, so

490
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 5: we were posed stopping by theirs. This was ignored until

491
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,959
Speaker 5: today when we received a manipulative letter explaining how she

492
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 5: feels worthless, is offended that we want an invitation or

493
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 5: permission to visit us, and how she feels that it

494
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,679
Speaker 5: was cruel and rude to ask her to put our

495
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 5: baby down with his toys, And now she's finished this

496
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 5: stupid letter with a comment about how she's just being

497
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 5: her and how my husband has to decide if he

498
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 5: wants her. But yeah, there's a little bit more to

499
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 5: the story. But yeah, that's.

500
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 3: Very I think we just need to really make sure

501
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 3: that we're not because your mother in law definitely has

502
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 3: done some stuff that's like whoa, Hey, you're crossing boundaries

503
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 3: and that's not cool and you're kind of not respecting us.

504
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure that we don't like

505
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 3: interpret everything she does now as like a something that's

506
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 3: like a boundary that's being crossed, or like as it's disrespectful,

507
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 3: because like, honestly, her picking up your kid and being

508
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 3: like bloa googo gaga and then putting him down, that's

509
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 3: just what a grandma would do. If you walk into

510
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 3: the house you see your grandbaby, you would go more

511
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 3: grand baby, make you they give you a kiss, give

512
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 3: you a hug.

513
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 4: Makes sense.

514
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 3: You eight months old, now, you know that's reasonable.

515
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like that makes sense. I'm so angry

516
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 5: with my mother in law. I feel bad for my husband.

517
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 5: She's made this whole year, the whole time our baby

518
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 5: husband with her about her in this drama. We thought

519
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 5: it would be happy families like it is with everyone

520
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,160
Speaker 5: else around us. We didn't next it from them, and

521
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 5: no we are here with no idea how to move forward,

522
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 5: no idea how to respond to this letter. Also, my

523
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 5: husband is now in counseling, and so am I trying

524
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 5: to navigate this whole family drama. There is an edit,

525
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,880
Speaker 5: a massive thank you to everyone for your responses. I've

526
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 5: shared with my husband and will update you with the outcome.

527
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 5: Oh and first update we me my husband and baby

528
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 5: bumped into father in law today and asked if he

529
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 5: knew that the mother in law has said this letter.

530
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 5: He knew about it, had nothing to say, only that

531
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 5: he thinks me and the mother in law need to

532
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 5: talk one on one and talk it out. I tried

533
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 5: so hard not to laugh, but my husband explained how

534
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 5: he was feeling having received it, and his dad listened.

535
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 5: But he then left us in the shop saying he

536
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 5: won't tell us, saying that he won't tell his wife

537
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 5: slash mother in law that he'd bumped into us and

538
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 5: they'll see how that's right.

539
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 7: I always hoped my father would finally prioritize me, until

540
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 7: the day came.

541
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: He prioritized you, and you didn't like it.

542
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 7: Trigger warning mentions of DV and substances. My father's torch

543
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 7: is out. He's been voted off the island because I

544
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 7: got better. This has been a long one as I've

545
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 7: known this person my whole life, and I'm thirty one now.

546
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 7: This is about my father. By the way, this comes

547
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 7: from Tats and Cats twenty five and if you want

548
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 7: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash

549
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 7: Okay storytime, separate it.

550
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Krly, I'm Keon, and we're here to

551
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 4: have good.

552
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 7: Advice Gooogley, but we don't have all the answers. We

553
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 7: only know what we'd do, So let us know what

554
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 7: you would do in the comments. And as the folks,

555
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 7: this comes directly from our sub brother and Opie says.

556
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 7: My father and mother met in their twenties, got married

557
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 7: and had two kids, my older brother and me a

558
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 7: daughter in Ontario, Canada, and before I was one year old,

559
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 7: my father came home one day and asked for a divorce.

560
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 7: My brother remembers the troubles they had before this happened,

561
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 7: I do not. My father immediately moved in with another lady.

562
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 7: Growing up, this other lady became a big part of

563
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 7: my life, a second mom. You could say, if I

564
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 7: saw my dad, I saw her. She's very fair, family oriented,

565
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 7: so I also got close to her family. Her dad

566
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 7: became my papa. Her brothers and sister became my uncles

567
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 7: and aunt. Growing up from an infant to a child,

568
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 7: I only saw family. Whether or not I understood that

569
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 7: they did not share my blood, they were family. My

570
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 7: dad was a dad growing up as a child, He

571
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 7: was my protector and my role model of what a

572
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 7: man should be. He meant everything to me and my brother.

573
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 7: When I turned twelve, my mom met a man. I

574
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 7: mean she meant a few before this one, but none

575
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 7: really stuck around. This one though, stuck. I remember my

576
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 7: mom putting us to bed, and he came over for

577
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 7: coffee because he knew my mom could not leave the

578
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 7: house and was willing to wait until we were in bed.

579
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 7: I heard them talking, and as a twelve year old,

580
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 7: I snuck to the top of the stairs to peek

581
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 7: down the corner of the landing and made complete eye

582
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 7: contact with this strange man, scruff around his face, just

583
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 7: smiling at me. He said, I think someone's awake, and

584
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 7: I giggled. From there on out, my stepdad has always

585
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 7: seen me. When I was fifteen, my dad picked my

586
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 7: brother and me up and said, we're gonna see my

587
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 7: nan up north for the weekend. We were excited. We

588
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 7: had not seen my nan for a while since she

589
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 7: lives five hours away. As soon as we got in

590
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 7: the car and put on our seatbelts, he said, I

591
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,239
Speaker 7: have something to tell you guys. Your stepmom and I

592
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 7: broke up. He did his best to explain his excuses.

593
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 7: My brother and I spent that five hours sobbing in

594
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 7: the car. He insisted we could still see her, which

595
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 7: made us feel a bit better, but we knew everything

596
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 7: would change. About two months after, we were still adjusting

597
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 7: to everything. I still spoke to my stepmom on the

598
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 7: phone and saw her a few times, of course not

599
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 7: as much as my dad. He then sat us down

600
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 7: and asked us not to see my stepmom anymore. You

601
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 7: can't switch it up. Yeah.

602
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 1: How long did he go before he switched in?

603
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was like two days.

604
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 3: He was like, that's it all right, You're done.

605
00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: I'm sick of it.

606
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 7: But at this point our hearts were broken. He was

607
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 7: not asking us to just stop seeing some random girl

608
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 7: we had been seeing, but a person who had been

609
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 7: in my life for as long as I could remember.

610
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 7: Not just her, but my papa, my uncles, and aunts,

611
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 7: and her whole family. Ooh ye, that's hard. My brother

612
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 7: and I came back to my mom's that weekend in

613
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 7: tears and with such fears. My mom, the angel she is, said,

614
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 7: you could see them on my time. She saw the

615
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 7: pain her children were in by losing this family and

616
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 7: made sure that we wouldn't.

617
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 4: That's a good God.

618
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 7: After about four months, my dad said he had a

619
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 7: girlfriend younger than him, maybe ten years or so. We'd

620
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 7: go over and they'd smoke her to the house and drink.

621
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 7: I never noticed my dad's drinking until this girlfriend. He'd

622
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 7: have one after work with my stepmom, but he drank

623
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 7: day and night with this girlfriend, and so did she.

624
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 7: My dad ended up canceling on us a lot, saying

625
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 7: he was working, so we would go to my stepmom's

626
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 7: or stay at my mom's. A year after they started

627
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 7: living together, and without any notice at all, my dad said,

628
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 7: we just got back from Switzerland, we got married.

629
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 3: What that's a wild one.

630
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 7: I let him show me pictures and just said, that's beautiful.

631
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 7: But to be so blindsided, not even a thought in

632
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 7: my dad's new marriage. As a fifteen year old, still

633
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 7: a child managing to deal with a family, I didn't

634
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 7: fully understand. My brother and I pulled away at this point.

635
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 7: We did not enjoy going over and breathing in smoke.

636
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 7: We did not enjoy just staying in a house because

637
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 7: they wanted to drink, and we just did not enjoy

638
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 7: our father anymore. My mom supported our wants and never

639
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 7: made us go if we did not want to. We

640
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 7: explained what made us uncomfortable, and my mom understood. My

641
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 7: dad and his wife broke up over many DV calls.

642
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 7: My dad went to jail for it, and my uncle,

643
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 7: his brother, had to bail him out. I did see

644
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 7: him during this period. We would just go out for

645
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 7: dinner in a movie. I hope that since he was

646
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 7: away from her, he might choose us again. He did

647
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 7: for a bit. He told us a lot about his

648
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 7: current X, that she didn't like me and my brother

649
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 7: because we're not biologically hers and she wanted her own.

650
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 7: Why is he telling you.

651
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 4: That weird way? Is he telling you that about all

652
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 4: the time? That's so messed up.

653
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 7: Again, I did not point out that he let her

654
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 7: do it to the point he did it himself. I

655
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 7: smiled and waved, hoping for a better relationship with him.

656
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 7: He got a new girlfriend with a young child, which

657
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 7: became his priority. Caring about this kid would make her

658
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 7: love him. He was a golden dad again. This is

659
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 7: when I realized he's never been a good dad. He's

660
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 7: been a fake dad. Through all of this, I still

661
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 7: spoke to my stepmom, knowing her since I was one.

662
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 7: She never had kids, and I've always been that to her.

663
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 7: She has always made me feel like her daughter. I

664
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 7: found out that my dad would ask to cancel when

665
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 7: he was with her, but she say, nope, it's your

666
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 7: weekend with the kids and I want to see them.

667
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 7: Once I heard that, everything fell into place and says

668
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 7: he was great dad.

669
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 4: Maybe he was.

670
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 7: I believe because of her. He wanted to impress her

671
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 7: and him being a good dad was everything to her.

672
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 7: My brother and I are still everything to her. That's lovely.

673
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 4: Well, well you got two moms, yeah.

674
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 7: Like yes, you have a seemingly bad relationship with your dad,

675
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 7: but you.

676
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: Got something out of a relationship with this lady.

677
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 7: On my sixteenth birthday, he texted me, I'm sorry, baby girl,

678
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 7: I forgot Can I take you out next week? I

679
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 7: sucked it up and said yes. Next week came and

680
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 7: I got a text, I'm sorry, baby girl, I have

681
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 7: to work next week. I promise. Next week came around. Hey,

682
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 7: baby girl, I'm sorry, but I have to work. At

683
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 7: this point, I had enough. I was getting a full

684
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 7: picture of who my dad was and I was mad.

685
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 7: I texted back, go to heck, and he responded, I'll

686
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 7: see you there. Wow, dude, you're the one that's like

687
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 7: not showing up for anyone, and that's how you're responding

688
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 7: to your daughter wild That was my sixteenth birthday present

689
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 7: from my dad. He continued to ask to go out

690
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 7: to dinner or get together. Sometimes I would go, sometimes

691
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 7: I would not. I'd see him at family Christmas and

692
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 7: he'd always ask to get together. I'd just smile and wave.

693
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 7: When I had my son at twenty three, I decided

694
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 7: to give him a chance again. I kept it only

695
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 7: in public places, just going for dinner for an hour

696
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 7: or so, then going home. He would choose to spend

697
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 7: that time talking about my mom, my stepmom, and my

698
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 7: brother and how they all have faults but he has none.

699
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 7: That dinner made me hate him. He has no faults

700
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,479
Speaker 7: of his own. He does not see the way he

701
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 7: treats people. He told my stepmom he was divorced. Before

702
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 7: he was divorced, she did not know, and my mom

703
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 7: did not know until they became close friends. He took

704
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 7: all my mom's money when he left her, cleared the

705
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 7: shared bank account, and she had to declare bankruptcy. He

706
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 7: didn't just do it her, he did it to us,

707
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 7: my brother and me living the house with my mom.

708
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 7: He didn't pay child support his brother my uncle helped

709
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 7: with groceries and childcare. Of course, good parents do not

710
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 7: tell their children these things. I asked the questions, and

711
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 7: my mom was willing to give me the answers, unlike

712
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 7: my dad saying to me, I shouldn't be paying your

713
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 7: mom child support, which.

714
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 4: You go to you.

715
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 7: It did go to me, a roof over my head,

716
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 7: food in the fridge, clothes on my back, and heat

717
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 7: to keep me warm. I had a terrible ex myself.

718
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 7: He ended up doing shady things in my name, which

719
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 7: got us both arrested after a long four years of fighting.

720
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 7: I have a clean record and full custody of our

721
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 7: son while he is in and out of jail. Well,

722
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 7: I'm glad that you have the clean record.

723
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 2: Thank goodness.

724
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

725
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 7: The day I was offered bail, it was my mom

726
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 7: and stepdad standing in the courtroom willing to put their

727
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 7: house up for my bail. As soon as I walked out,

728
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 7: I saw them standing there. My stepdad right away held

729
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 7: up his fist to his heart as a way to

730
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 7: say stay strong. He knew I would break down seeing them.

731
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 7: When the judge ran to the bail, they took the

732
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 7: handcuffs off me and I walked right to my stepdad.

733
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 7: He hugged me so tight and said, you're safe.

734
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 4: I have your stepdad. Seems great.

735
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,399
Speaker 7: My bio dad was my protector, but this man really

736
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,760
Speaker 7: made me feel safe in every way. He really showed

737
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 7: me what a real father is. He took me to

738
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 7: lawyers and courtrooms, was buy me through it all and

739
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 7: let me make the choices I needed to get through

740
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 7: such a hard time in my life. My bio dad

741
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 7: never reached out once when it came to how I

742
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 7: was arrested. I didn't know what anyone was thinking about me.

743
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 7: I just cared about the ones that did not question

744
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 7: me and trusted who I actually am. I went to

745
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 7: my NaN's a couple of years later. My dad had

746
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 7: a new girlfriend. He was there, but I did not

747
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 7: ride with him. I came with his brother. At one point,

748
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 7: I was in the fridge at my NaN's getting a

749
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 7: drink for my son. His girlfriend came up to me

750
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 7: and said, we thought you in the paper. We thought

751
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 7: you did it.

752
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: What a horrid thing to say to someone.

753
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 7: Yeah, I know you were like falsely accused of that crime.

754
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 7: We thought you did it.

755
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 1: We believe that you actually could be that personally. Yeah,

756
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 1: what why are you telling me this?

757
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 7: Why are you even talking?

758
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: Why are you even talking to me right now?

759
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 7: That was the only response I got to my whole

760
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 7: arrested situation from my dad his girlfriend saying they thought

761
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 7: I did it.

762
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: Your dad sucks, but a plus mom, a plus stepdad,

763
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: a plus step mom, like, I'm glad that you have

764
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: some people that are there for you to totally agree

765
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: stuff and that you full custody.

766
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 7: I ended all ties here. I changed my number, not

767
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 7: just because of my bio dad, but also my ex

768
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 7: boyfriend and I never gave my biodad my new number.

769
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 7: I deleted him off all socials and do not.

770
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 4: Speak to him.

771
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,360
Speaker 7: Last I heard, he moved to Florida with his girlfriend

772
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,879
Speaker 7: and her family. He's been arrested for more DV which

773
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 7: he's on a bail website for, and has been arrested

774
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 7: for trafficking substances. Well, bio dad, If I have anything

775
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 7: to say to you, it's that I know you did it.

776
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 7: My ending is happy because I have five Christmases to

777
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 7: celebrate while my biodad has none. I still have everyone

778
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 7: I want in my life. Well, he is none. I

779
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 7: hope he enjoys Florida because Ontario, Canada is doing great

780
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 7: with at him. I do not wish any ill on him,

781
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 7: but I cannot say I care to be at his

782
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 7: bail hearing and there it is.

783
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 1: Good for you. It shows growth, like absolutely right, Yeah,

784
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 1: you're grown and learning. And he's stuck in his terrible ways.

785
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 2: As saying you don't have to wish him any ill

786
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 2: because he's already doing it for himself. He's doing it

787
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 2: all that to himself. You don't need that type of

788
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 2: person in your life.

789
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 7: He's got his own issues, you're you're fine, and that's

790
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 7: the end of this story.

791
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 4: We're going on to the next one.

792
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Axelottel host.

793
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:55,399
Speaker 7: Here.

794
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,720
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories. But here's

795
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:01,240
Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I went above

796
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: the limit on my sister's gift. She still tried to

797
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 1: manipulate me, give me more. My sister and her family

798
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: live in another state across the country. Our family trades

799
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: names so that we do not have to spend as

800
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: much money since we're a big family. By the way,

801
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 1: this comes from sassy pants me and if you want

802
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 1: us submit your own stories. Go to the r slash

803
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: Okay storytime, Supreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, I'm and we're

804
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 1: here to give good advice. Goofily, But we don't have

805
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we would do.

806
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:30,720
Speaker 1: Just let us know what you would do in the comments.

807
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: And Opie says, I got my sister's family and sent

808
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: her a game she has on her wish list for

809
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: several months, along with some expansion packs. I went a

810
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 1: bit above the family spending limit, but I was feeling

811
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: generous because she lives so far away. I had it

812
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,839
Speaker 1: shipped directly to her home. Apparently her kids got too

813
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: excited and she just couldn't make them wait. They were

814
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 1: thrilled when they saw the game, which is great. At

815
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 1: least my sister said thank you. The next day, however,

816
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: she called me to ask for another gift. She was

817
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: worried that when we do the family zoom on Christmas Eve,

818
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 1: her family would feel left out since they would have

819
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: no gift to open. When I said I could not

820
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 1: afford another gift, she started crying.

821
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

822
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 1: She told me I should be the one to tell

823
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 1: the kids why they would not have a gift to open.

824
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 7: Yes, this what you got? You got you go to them,

825
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 7: You go, hey, kids, you're not gonna have any gifts

826
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 7: to open on Christmas. And they're gon be like, what

827
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 7: because you already opened yours?

828
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: Because your mom refused to make you wait, Yeah, to

829
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: open it.

830
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,720
Speaker 7: You already opened it. That's why you have no gift.

831
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: I reminded her that I'm a teacher and I have

832
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 1: my own family to care for. I told her she

833
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 1: needs to be more responsible, buy another gift and or

834
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: teach her children to be patient. She hung up on me.

835
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 1: Next time, they will get an e gift card. We

836
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 1: have an update. I was telling my husband some of

837
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,760
Speaker 1: your suggestions. He now wants to buy them an advent

838
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 1: and help them understand when Christmas is.

839
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 7: That's funny and they get an open little presence. I

840
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 7: loved you start getting more ad than calendars because I

841
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 7: love them.

842
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 1: I think my first Christmas working on stitch, my mom

843
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: got me an Advent calendar of little stitch toys. So

844
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 1: every day I had a little stitch to open, and

845
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: my bookshelf is lyned. It's just a ton of stitches.

846
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 7: I just love getting a little chocolate treat.

847
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 2: I just have a little sweet sweet for opening this day.

848
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 7: It's always.

849
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 2: But then you're like, tomorrow's gonna be here anyway, I'll

850
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 2: open that today.

851
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 7: My mom was pretty strict about it, and she'd be like,

852
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 7: that's it because we didn't have a lot of sleek.

853
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 7: We had like sweet sometimes, but it like wasn't like

854
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 7: a sweet heavy house. So it was a big deal

855
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 7: when you got one ad calendar.

856
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: Chocolate, do not worrying. We're not actually gonna do it.

857
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 1: We have another up tap. Yes, I know the gift

858
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 1: could be rewrapped. I'm not concerned about whether the kids

859
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: will have a gift open. I can easily remind them

860
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: of the game if they seem disappointed at the party.

861
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 1: My sister is an entitled brat and was likely fishing

862
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: for another gift. Honestly, the more I think about it,

863
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: the more I believe she was the impatient one who

864
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 1: wanted to open the gift and see if she could

865
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 1: get another present from me. The kids are usually well

866
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 1: behaved around more mature people who hold them accountable. Here's

867
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: some comments on my one. She's the parent. It's her

868
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: job to teach your kids the consequences. They opened it early,

869
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 1: that's on them, Opie says. What makes it even worse

870
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: is that her kids are mostly tweens to older teenagers.

871
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: It's not like they are toddlers that don't understand the

872
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,280
Speaker 1: concept of waiting. Commentar, do she just wanted another present

873
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 1: because she's so special? Has she always been like this?

874
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,360
Speaker 1: Opie says. She could be very selfless and generous at times,

875
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 1: but the entitlement has always been there in various forms.

876
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 1: When we were teenagers, she had really long nails. She

877
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: would use them to scratch anyone who tried to serve themselves.

878
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: At dinner before her sounds terrifying, so she'd get first

879
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 1: pick or the biggest servings, etc. Or when she babysat,

880
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: she'd have us hide because we were playing hide and seek.

881
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 1: Then she just wouldn't look for us and would watch TV.

882
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 1: In reality, she just didn't want to be bothered with

883
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 1: taking care of us. Coming three, your kids didn't even

884
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: know it had been received, So that's on her. And

885
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: if her teens don't know how to wait, have that

886
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 1: level of entitled and can't understand that they already opened

887
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: their gift, I'd rather not have them in my social circle.

888
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: Opie says. They know how to wait when asked. When

889
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 1: I've had them over, they're always respectful, but that may

890
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: be because I expect them to be. I have a

891
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: feeling she just wanted to see their faces because she

892
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,919
Speaker 1: knows I always try to get something I know they'll

893
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 1: be excited about. I think she couldn't wait. To be honest,

894
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 1: Opi gives examples of when her sister was selfless. Okay,

895
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: when I was getting a divorce and at the risk

896
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: of being homeless, she gave me and my kids a

897
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: place to live, took care of my kids while I

898
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: looked for work and continued taking care of them when

899
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:05,720
Speaker 1: I found a job.

900
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 7: Okay, so she can be nice.

901
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 1: She can be nice, cool, she didn't charge me rent, daycare, etc.

902
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 1: I lived with her for several months, not just a

903
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 1: couple weeks. She's actually generous and selfless at times for

904
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: the people she loves. She is selfless and generous for

905
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: praise for people she cares about. Since she's a good Christian,

906
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 1: I have nothing against Christians, she just doesn't practice what

907
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 1: she preaches.

908
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 4: OPI.

909
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 1: On her family's background, Opie says, my family was very dysfunctional.

910
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 1: My mom has bipolar disorder, so there was a lot

911
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: of unusual things happening at home, and my dad did

912
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 1: the best he could given a crazy wife and six kids.

913
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 1: Mom wasn't exactly sane, and dad worked two jobs. Opie

914
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: explains how her families draw entire families names for Christmas

915
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: if her sister is not in the same state. Opie says,

916
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: my sister's the only one multiple states away, so we

917
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,080
Speaker 1: gather at my mom's house and the zoom call is

918
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 1: mostly my sister and brother in law watching everyone else

919
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,319
Speaker 1: open gifts. Her kids only participate to say hello and

920
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: open their gifts or socialize for a few minutes. As

921
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 1: for getting to one family, I have five siblings with spouses,

922
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: so twelve adults total. There are over thirty grandkids. My

923
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 1: sister alone has eight kids. Trying to get a gift

924
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 1: for everyone breaks the bank. Having one family makes it

925
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,760
Speaker 1: so we can gift quality gifts without spending thousands of dollars.

926
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be only one gift. That's just

927
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 1: what I chose to do since she has eight kids

928
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: and her own grandkids in addition to that, and terraforming

929
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 1: mars can be enjoyed by their whole family. We have

930
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 1: an update six days later. I'm so glad we got

931
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:45,719
Speaker 1: the gift.

932
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 7: This is not like a situation that you're going to

933
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 7: be like cutting off your sister for right. Yeah, but

934
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 7: it is just a thing where you put down the

935
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 7: you know the rules.

936
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 1: Right, and you're like, girly pop, I gave you cool gift.

937
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 1: Do you guys like it so much? You've been playing it?

938
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 6: Yeah?

939
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 4: That's it.

940
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 7: I'm sorry not getting anything else.

941
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,720
Speaker 1: We had our family Christmas party yesterday. I was actually

942
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: surprised because my sister thanked me for sending a new gift.

943
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 1: This didn't make sense to me because I didn't send

944
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: anything new and it wouldn't have arrived in time if

945
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 1: I did. But they opened the gift and it was

946
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 1: an advent calendar with a note that said next year

947
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: you can count how many days before opening your gifts? Love?

948
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 4: Dad, Dad coming in?

949
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 1: Was this?

950
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:30,919
Speaker 7: Whose dad?

951
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 5: Is?

952
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 1: This?

953
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 7: Is this brother in law or this op Sister's dad.

954
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 2: Opie sister's dad or Opie sister's husband.

955
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 7: That's what I'm saying.

956
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: I don't know we're gonna we're gonna get the we'll

957
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:44,240
Speaker 1: find out we're about to get that. But honestly, hilarious.

958
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: That's correct? Did it?

959
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,760
Speaker 3: I love that iconic full circle beautiful amazing.

960
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: Turns out my brother in law was mad at my

961
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 1: sister and bought the app calendar. He apologized to me

962
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 1: for my sister's behavior right there on the zoom call.

963
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 1: My sister yelled at him at how he had just

964
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: embarrassed her and ran off somewhere. Bonus to the story,

965
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 1: my nieces and nephews thought the calendar was funny, and

966
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: after everyone finished with presents, they spent the next tennish

967
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 1: minutes planning their next visit. So we can play terraforming

968
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: Mars together. We have some relevant comments. Comment to one, Haha,

969
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:20,359
Speaker 1: that was perfect and very satisfying, Opie says, is sure was.

970
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 1: I loved that he secretly bought the gift and pretended

971
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 1: it was from me. That was the chef's kiss. He's

972
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: my favorite. Commenter two, that advent calendar was a masterclass

973
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: in peaceful petty. Dad and brother in law handled everything perfectly.

974
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 1: Opie says, dad and brother in law are same person. Okay,

975
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 1: he wrote the note to the kids as a way

976
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: of putting my sister in her place, without calling attention

977
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 1: to the fact that he knew it was her. My

978
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 1: father passed away seven years ago. Commenter three, that was

979
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: awesome of your brother in law. How did he find

980
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: out about the suggestion you mentioned in the update to

981
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,879
Speaker 1: your previous post. Opie says, he and my husband talked

982
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: at some point. My husband didn't tell me they talked

983
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 1: until earlier today when I was talking about posting it.

984
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 7: Update.

985
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 1: Commenter four says, and sister still hasn't learned her lesson

986
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: yelling at husband for embarrassing her. Someone smacked the woman

987
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 1: upside the head with the Advent calendar, Opie says, she's fifty.

988
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 1: I doubt she'll ever learn. Commander five says, turns out

989
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: your brother in law is the MVP of the story.

990
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: Opie says, he's hilarious and it's probably the main reason

991
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: any of my nieces and nephews are sane. That's the

992
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:26,280
Speaker 1: end of that story.

993
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that all worked out.

994
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 7: It seems like your your nieces and nephews were copasetic. Yeah,

995
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 7: and your brother in law is a funny guy.

996
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: Sounds like everyone got a little te hee, yeah, little.

997
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 7: And your sister in law got got what she deserved.

998
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

999
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: And next year they'll count down the days. Maybe she'd

1000
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 1: start yearly advent calendar. Honestly, I like that idea. And

1001
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 1: that's the end of this story. We're gonna go to

1002
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 1: the next one.

1003
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 3: My cousin demanded I shave my beard for his wedding,

1004
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 3: and I don't want to. I ain't shaving my beard

1005
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 3: for no one. I, a thirty year old male, was

1006
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 3: asked a few days ago to be in my cousin's

1007
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 3: wedding party as one of his groomsmen for his wedding

1008
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 3: in April. I was excited to be asked, as I

1009
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 3: have never been part of a wedding procession prior to this.

1010
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 3: And by the way, this comes from user Chicken odd

1011
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 3: Ball And if you want to submit your own stories,

1012
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,320
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime suppered it. I'm Dakota,

1013
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,879
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we are here to give

1014
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 3: good advice scrufully, but we don't have all the answers.

1015
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 3: We only know the things we know, So let us

1016
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 3: know the things you know that we don't. In the comments,

1017
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 3: and uh Op says my family is Mormon, though I

1018
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 3: am not, and it is widely known in my family

1019
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 3: that I am no longer a part of the church

1020
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 3: or many of its traditions. In some ways, I feel

1021
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 3: that my personal choice to leave the Mormon Church is

1022
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,160
Speaker 3: reason enough for my family members not to ask me

1023
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 3: to be a groomsman, best man, or anything similar. My

1024
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 3: sister barely had me in her wedding for that reason,

1025
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 3: but I will provide more details on that later. He

1026
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 3: called me on the phone to ask if I'd be

1027
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 3: willing to be a groomsman, and I immediately said yes.

1028
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 3: Like I said, I was excited. He is one of

1029
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 3: my closest extended family members, along with his sister as

1030
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 3: we grew up in close proximity to each other. After

1031
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 3: he asked me, he shared details about the wedding, our

1032
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 3: mutual friend and best man's bachelor party ideas, suit in

1033
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 3: thie colors, and other minor details, nothing too crazy until

1034
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 3: he snuck in this sentence at the end. Oh, and

1035
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,720
Speaker 3: all the grooms men are to be clean shaven. Everyone

1036
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 3: else has agreed to shave for the wedding already, So

1037
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 3: you're the last one I need to tell. I went silent,

1038
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 3: my body went cold, and my face got hot. I

1039
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,479
Speaker 3: didn't know what to say. I'm six foot, a little

1040
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 3: chubby with a long, full brown beard that I have

1041
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 3: kept up for nearly a decade. I spend upwards of

1042
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:51,280
Speaker 3: six hundred dollars a year just on my beard upkeep

1043
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 3: What on earth?

1044
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 5: WHOA?

1045
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 4: Okay?

1046
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 3: So are we talking?

1047
00:48:54,719 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 7: Hey, top, It's got like, let's say products. So I'm

1048
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 7: thinking like a curly hair product routine or something beard oil.

1049
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 7: Do you use like a lot of products for your hair?

1050
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1051
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 2: A couple?

1052
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 7: Okay, So, like, roughly how much are the products you

1053
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:10,439
Speaker 7: use for your hair?

1054
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 4: Like a month?

1055
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 2: Oh no, usually it lasts long enough to be like

1056
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,359
Speaker 2: a couple of months, but I would say I would

1057
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 2: spend about fifty bucks on this said products, so probably

1058
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,720
Speaker 2: last me at least a couple months.

1059
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 7: So it's like you're spending like two hundred macs a

1060
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 7: year or no, maybe like three hundred macks a year.

1061
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 4: What do you think?

1062
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say around that depending if I keep

1063
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 2: my hair long, if I cut it, probably not. I

1064
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 2: don't need the hair product if I cut my hair.

1065
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,839
Speaker 7: Yeah, And then I don't know if he's cutting his beard.

1066
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 7: I'm assuming he's cutting his beard himself, so we're not

1067
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 7: talking about like that. So maybe he just has really

1068
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 7: expensive products for his beer beard oil, Like yeah, there's

1069
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 7: like beard oil and what makes sense beard.

1070
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 2: Oil, and like he make it clean and like trimming it.

1071
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 3: They put little cucumbers on it.

1072
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 7: That does sound really nice.

1073
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 3: And they like whisper to it. They're like, you're a

1074
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 3: good beard.

1075
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 1: You.

1076
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 7: So six hundred dollars is on the more expensive side,

1077
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 7: but it does make sense if you're like doing a

1078
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 7: lot of care for it.

1079
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,879
Speaker 3: I go to a barber who knows how to cut

1080
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 3: beards and keep it nicely structured and lined up. I

1081
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 3: don't want to say that I care more about my

1082
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 3: beard upkeep than the rest of my body, as I

1083
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:16,720
Speaker 3: am an extremely hygienic person, but it is pretty dang close.

1084
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 3: I've kept it at about seven inches for the last

1085
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 3: six months. I don't think I can shave my beard

1086
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 3: for your wedding. Daniel. After about twenty seconds, he said,

1087
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 3: but I already told the other guys to shave, and

1088
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 3: they said they would. I started to get upset because

1089
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 3: with what he was telling me, not only did he

1090
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: know this would be a big deal for me, but

1091
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 3: them saying yes already felt like I was being pressured

1092
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 3: to shave or else I would not be part of

1093
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 3: the wedding. The last thing he said before he hung

1094
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 3: up was I strongly urge you to reconsider this, otherwise

1095
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,799
Speaker 3: I'll have to rethink the number of grooms men. I've

1096
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 3: been struggling with this because I'm so shocked that I

1097
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 3: was given this sort of ultimatum. The wedding is in

1098
00:50:56,600 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 3: a few months, so maybe he'll reconsider. I'm really hurt.

1099
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 3: I don't think I'll have another chance to be in

1100
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:04,879
Speaker 3: another wedding party because my other cousins aren't as close

1101
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 3: to me or are already married. I was barely part

1102
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 3: of my sister's wedding. She was upset and so were

1103
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 3: my parents that I decided to leave a church that

1104
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 3: it emotionally mistreated me for over two decades. I was devout,

1105
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 3: wore my temple garments, and did everything I was supposed

1106
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 3: to do. When I decided to leave the Mormon Church,

1107
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 3: my parents and sister saw it as a personal attack

1108
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 3: on them because I wouldn't choose family and keep my

1109
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:35,720
Speaker 3: covenance that I made with God. This caused a substantial rift,

1110
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 3: and it was close enough to my sister's wedding that

1111
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 3: she wrote me out of her wedding party and the toasts,

1112
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 3: and I was supposed to sing with her and her

1113
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 3: husband at the reception. Being a part of this wedding

1114
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,560
Speaker 3: with my cousin feels like one of the only times

1115
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 3: that I can be a part of any weddings in

1116
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 3: my family. But I don't think it's fair to be

1117
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 3: asked to do something so drastic to my body. Am

1118
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 3: I the ahle for standing my ground and not shaving

1119
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:00,080
Speaker 3: my beard?

1120
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 4: No, you're not at all.

1121
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 3: We have comments comet one not the a hole, but

1122
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 3: you should respectfully drop from the party and attend as

1123
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:11,839
Speaker 3: a guest. Those are the groom's wishes, and even if

1124
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 3: they are not reasonable to you or to Reddit, it

1125
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 3: is his wedding and you shouldn't cause a fight and

1126
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 3: create more drama for him on his big day. It

1127
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 3: sounds like your cousin's wedding is a redo of your

1128
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 3: sister's one in your mind, but that's not the case. Also,

1129
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 3: I got an impression that the core issue is not

1130
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 3: the wedding, but that you crave more connection to your family.

1131
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 3: I would suggest to rather tackle this one and get

1132
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 3: overworked about being in the wedding party. Reply says op,

1133
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 3: is it the one creating the drama? The groom is

1134
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,439
Speaker 3: f this mindset that everyone has to bow to every

1135
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,319
Speaker 3: whim of the bride and groom on their big day.

1136
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 3: What if the bride asked all the bridesmaids to shave

1137
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 3: their heads.

1138
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:51,799
Speaker 7: Then the bridesmaids say no, I don't want to be

1139
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 7: of your bridesmaid Comment two.

1140
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 3: It is honestly weird why people can even feel entitled

1141
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 3: to ask somebody to change their body in appearance or

1142
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 3: a wedding dress code is one thing, but shaving your

1143
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 3: head or beard, or changing the color of your hair,

1144
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,959
Speaker 3: or covering tattoos or losing or gaining weight. This type

1145
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 3: of demand is completely ridiculous, not the a whole comment

1146
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 3: three says, not the a hole. But my suspicion is

1147
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 3: that this is actually an attempt to draw you back

1148
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 3: into the church, at least get you groomed appropriately, not

1149
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 3: to mention, testing whether you'll submit to their demands in

1150
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 3: the name of family unity and participating in a family event,

1151
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 3: and then maybe they can make further inroads to get

1152
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 3: you back. And we do have an update. Oh boy,

1153
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 3: I appreciate every single one of you for responding. It

1154
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 3: meant a lot to see your comments and opinions. I

1155
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 3: meant to reply to some of you to explain my

1156
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 3: relationship with my family a little better and with the

1157
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,399
Speaker 3: Mormon Church, but I forgore. I've been stressed at work

1158
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,560
Speaker 3: and I'm in the middle of moving my girlfriend into

1159
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 3: my apartment. Don't tell my family or else they'll say

1160
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 3: I'm going to spooky Mormon. My parents and sister are

1161
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:00,879
Speaker 3: devout Mormons. When you get married in the Mormon Church,

1162
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,320
Speaker 3: you have a private ceremony with full fledged church members only,

1163
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 3: and a reception afterward. The reception is the larger affair

1164
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,759
Speaker 3: for the whole family. Anyone who has been in or

1165
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 3: close to churchgoers may understand this. I was disallowed from

1166
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:18,399
Speaker 3: participating besides a couple of photos during the reception part

1167
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:20,800
Speaker 3: of my sister's wedding. I felt it was a public

1168
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 3: display of my family's contempt for my choice to distance

1169
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 3: myself from the church. I am in contact with them

1170
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 3: and have dinner or holidays occasionally, but we're on rocky

1171
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 3: ground after this whole debacle. Daniel and his fiancee, Tanya

1172
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 3: are active members. Daniel and I have been very close

1173
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 3: from early childhood and have many mutual friends because of this.

1174
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,359
Speaker 3: A lot of my hurt and confusion comes from this,

1175
00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:47,920
Speaker 3: and I neglected to mention it before. My invitation to

1176
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 3: their wedding party as a groomsman includes helping plan the

1177
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 3: bachelor party, buying things to decorate their wedding car, and

1178
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,439
Speaker 3: delivering a toast as an open mic would take too long.

1179
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 3: This is more than what I was allowed to do

1180
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 3: at my sister's wedding. On to the update regarding my

1181
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:08,279
Speaker 3: current dilemma, my cousin Daniel called me again. He had

1182
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 3: discussed my beard with his fiance and his parents during

1183
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 3: dinner over the last weekend. The consensus was that he

1184
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 3: was being unreasonable, and if I keep myself presentable with

1185
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 3: a nice trim, I should be able to keep my

1186
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:22,839
Speaker 3: beard for the wedding. What would you look at that?

1187
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:26,279
Speaker 7: Well, it seems like there was another way, if that

1188
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 7: isn't a twist.

1189
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 2: If I've ever seen, there's always a third door.

1190
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 3: In my mind. I had thought that she pressured him

1191
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,879
Speaker 3: to ask the groomsman to shave, because not only did

1192
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 3: I not know her well, I thought I knew my

1193
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 3: cousin well enough to be a reasonable person. I had

1194
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 3: met her once at a movie night with him and

1195
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 3: some mutual friends. I thought she was a very lovely

1196
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,840
Speaker 3: person and a great match for Daniel. Besides that I

1197
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 3: hardly knew her. After a long talk, I took some

1198
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 3: advice from a couple of you and offered not to

1199
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 3: take part in the wedding end reception. I genuinely would

1200
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 3: be uncomfortable if I upset anyone at their own way.

1201
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 3: He declined my offer and told me that having me

1202
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:06,840
Speaker 3: as a groomsman was more important than me shaving my beard. Well,

1203
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 3: there you go. He admitted that he was worried that

1204
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 3: I would keep it scractly and unkempt, which I suppose

1205
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:17,320
Speaker 3: is understandable. I ultimately assumed this was the cause for concern.

1206
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 3: I let it grow for weeks at a time, sometimes

1207
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:23,280
Speaker 3: if I'm not going anywhere fancy, but I remember getting

1208
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 3: it cut and seeing him and our friends shortly after

1209
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 3: a couple of times I had more questions, but ultimately

1210
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 3: I felt relieved and did not want to poke holes

1211
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 3: to get more answers as to why I needed to

1212
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 3: shave in the first place. I feel the issue is

1213
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:40,960
Speaker 3: resolved with a trim. I will be a bearded groomsman

1214
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 3: for my cousin's wedding. I don't plan on updating, so

1215
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,760
Speaker 3: I'd like to say again thank you to those who commented.

1216
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,759
Speaker 3: It meant a lot that you were kind enough to

1217
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 3: offer an opinion when I felt I was at a

1218
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 3: crossroads with all the issues I have with my family already.

1219
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story. Yeah, lovely,

1220
00:56:56,840 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 3: thankful little guy with a big old beard.

1221
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,000
Speaker 4: I love how it ended. All's well, that ends well,

1222
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story.

1223
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to the next one.

1224
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,160
Speaker 3: Hey, keyon here, We're going to get back to the stories.

1225
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:12,360
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1226
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,879
Speaker 5: My boyfriend acted like a child at my family dinner and.

1227
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 4: Hunt turned off, you're going to bed.

1228
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 5: My boyfriend twenty nine mail and I twenty two female

1229
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 5: have been together since January, so about ten months. He

1230
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 5: kind of has a pattern of being weird or childish

1231
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 5: in situations involving food. I found myself very embarrassed by

1232
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 5: how he acted at Thanksgiving with my family today, and

1233
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 5: I want to know if I'm being too harsh or dramatic.

1234
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Throwaway Awkward TG twenty

1235
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:40,440
Speaker 5: twenty one, and if you want to submit your own stories,

1236
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,360
Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit's I'm Angie,

1237
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, and.

1238
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 3: I'm Vincent with Keon, and we're.

1239
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 6: Here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have

1240
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 6: all the answers. We're just gonna know what we're gonna

1241
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 6: do in this situation, So let us know what you

1242
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 6: would do in the comments. The first thing was that

1243
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 6: when my mom was about to start preparing the turkey

1244
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 6: for roasting, he stuck his hand inside it and pulled

1245
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 6: out the little bag with the gibletz.

1246
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:04,960
Speaker 4: She asked what he was doing He asked if he

1247
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:05,959
Speaker 4: could give them to the dog.

1248
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 5: She said no, they don't feed him anything besides dog food,

1249
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 5: as they don't want him learning to beg when Mary eating.

1250
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,600
Speaker 5: He then got a knife and fork and started dissecting

1251
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:17,240
Speaker 5: bits of the giblets on the counter, staring at them

1252
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 5: closely and touching them.

1253
00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 4: Had to remind him to wash his hands.

1254
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 5: All the while my mom, brother, brother's girlfriend, and I

1255
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 5: were trying to actually get stuff cooked. I could tell

1256
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 5: my mom was annoyed at the dinner itself. He commented

1257
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 5: out loud several times on food that he didn't like,

1258
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 5: not just politely turning it down, but comments.

1259
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 4: Like you, I hate gravy, and this stuffing has onions.

1260
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 4: Onions are gross. He asked what type of cranberry sauce

1261
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 4: there was and then said, oh, that's.

1262
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 5: A gross kind. My family definitely noticed. They looked uncomfortable.

1263
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:51,000
Speaker 5: My mom even offered to make additional food if he

1264
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 5: wanted something else.

1265
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 4: In particular.

1266
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 5: He said he was fine with what was there, but

1267
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 5: hardly ate anything. My mom felt bad afterwards, and I

1268
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 5: had to reassure her that it wasn't her.

1269
00:58:59,120 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 4: Fault at all.

1270
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 5: End of the meal, he left the table I figured

1271
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 5: he was just getting something or going to the bathroom.

1272
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:06,880
Speaker 4: My dad got up shortly after.

1273
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 5: He later told me that when he went into the

1274
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 5: kitchen to bring out dessert, he found the dog eating

1275
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 5: the giblets from earlier off the floor and my boyfriend

1276
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 5: in the act of scraping a pile of food from

1277
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,920
Speaker 5: various dishes into the dog ball. My dad said that

1278
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 5: he was giggling himself as he did it. He was

1279
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:25,920
Speaker 5: explicitly told not to feed him people food, and then

1280
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 5: did it in secret like a child, and even got

1281
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 5: caught like a child.

1282
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 7: His dad's like, hey, hey, we told you you couldn't people.

1283
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 5: You have to go in time out for the minute.

1284
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 5: However many minutes. Wait, however many years old you are?

1285
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,240
Speaker 5: Is how many minutes you have to be in time out?

1286
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 5: There for a half hour?

1287
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 7: No, And then they're like, and you're gonna have to

1288
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 7: take a bath.

1289
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 3: After, we're gonna away your iPad.

1290
00:59:57,040 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, woman, I have never seen another adult do something

1291
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 5: like that. Then back at the table for dessert, he

1292
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:07,880
Speaker 5: loaded his plate with two to three times as many

1293
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 5: sweets as everyone else took. On the first round that

1294
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:13,440
Speaker 5: they were being passed. Around ninety percent of what he

1295
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 5: ate was deserted. When cleanup time came, everyone including my

1296
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 5: elderleave grandparents, volunteered to help accept him.

1297
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 4: I had to ask him.

1298
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 5: He did a half ever job and kept inspecting the

1299
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:26,560
Speaker 5: turkey carcass.

1300
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 4: He was pulling bones apart and making a mess of it.

1301
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 5: My dad, irritated from the earlier incident with the dog,

1302
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 5: snapped at him to either put it in the fridge

1303
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:36,200
Speaker 5: or leave it alone.

1304
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 4: He went back into the dining room and ate.

1305
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 5: More high while the rest of us were finishing cleaning

1306
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 5: up in the kitchen. Overall, I am majorly embarrassed by

1307
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 5: his behavior. I feel like the mom of a little kid,

1308
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 5: except a kid wouldn't know better.

1309
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:50,479
Speaker 4: I shouldn't have.

1310
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 5: To correct the behavior of a grown man, right And

1311
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 5: before you ask if he was just anxious about meeting

1312
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 5: my family or something, he's.

1313
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 4: Met them all before several times.

1314
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 5: Even if he had, that wouldn't explain it, because he's

1315
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 5: done similar things before in front of his own family

1316
01:01:04,240 --> 01:01:06,440
Speaker 5: and when it's just the two of us. I'm tired

1317
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 5: of the weird way he acts around food. I'm tired

1318
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 5: of worrying if he's going to get weird looks from

1319
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 5: other people. As someone in my twenties, I shouldn't be

1320
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 5: getting reports from my parents that my boyfriend did something

1321
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 5: rude and immature. They questioned if I felt like he

1322
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 5: was on my same level. I feel like I'm generally

1323
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 5: happy with him, and then things like this pop up,

1324
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 5: and I remember that he has his other side that

1325
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:30,120
Speaker 5: really turns me off. He's older than me, but I

1326
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,320
Speaker 5: feel like I'm the older one sometimes, So I guess

1327
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 5: my questions are how important is this? Is there any

1328
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,919
Speaker 5: chance he'll grow out of it? And what would help

1329
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:38,600
Speaker 5: that happen?

1330
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:41,800
Speaker 4: How would you recommend I bring it up to him.

1331
01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:44,439
Speaker 5: I don't feel comfortable bringing him around my family again

1332
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 5: unless he acts normal, so I can't just pretend nothing happened.

1333
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 7: What do you mean grow out?

1334
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 4: What do you mean grow out of it?

1335
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,960
Speaker 5: Well, at this age he knows very common boys will

1336
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 5: be boys.

1337
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 3: How it is developmental stage. She's going through a big chain.

1338
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, thirty because it's the kind of thing where

1339
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,040
Speaker 5: it's like, I mean, you could try to talk to

1340
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 5: him about it, but you also can't control people, and

1341
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 5: shouldn't You shouldn't want to.

1342
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:17,439
Speaker 4: You shouldn't have someone that you want to change. Yeah,

1343
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:20,520
Speaker 4: this drastically. Yeah, but there are some comments here.

1344
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 5: Shaye bridge Aman says I would go crazy over the

1345
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 5: dog thing. It's not just about begging, it's about pancreatitis.

1346
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 4: Jesus F.

1347
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 5: That could end your dog's life or at least be

1348
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 5: several thousand in treatment. Dog's digestive systems are set up

1349
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 5: to basically handle one major protein at a time. When

1350
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 5: you add new proteins and fat, dogs can be very ill.

1351
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:44,000
Speaker 5: I mean it was disrespectful too, but Jesus F with

1352
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 5: my dog and you're out twenty some years in and

1353
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,640
Speaker 5: off in vet med and holidays like this are just

1354
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 5: chalk full of emergency pancreatitus. The rest is also ridiculous.

1355
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:58,200
Speaker 5: He's almost thirty, not thirteen. He's not thirteen year old baby.

1356
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:01,440
Speaker 5: Seven year old baby. Yeah, for real, he's acting like

1357
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 5: a toddler. This would be a deal breaker for me. Sorry, hope.

1358
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:06,920
Speaker 5: He says, I didn't know anything about this. My parents

1359
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:09,040
Speaker 5: got the dog after I went to college. They joked

1360
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:10,439
Speaker 5: that he's their replacement kid.

1361
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 4: Hah.

1362
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 5: So I never grew up with dogs or have any myself.

1363
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,720
Speaker 5: This is horrible to think about. I am so glad

1364
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 5: my dad stopped him in time. I'm even more pissed now, and.

1365
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 4: We have an update.

1366
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 5: I talked about it more with my parents yesterday and realized,

1367
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 5: if I'm embarrassed to honestly answer their questions about my relationship,

1368
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 5: then that's a bad sign. I found myself trying to

1369
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 5: give a bunch of excuses to make his weird behavior

1370
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 5: seem less.

1371
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 4: Bad than it was.

1372
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 5: I also outright lied a couple of times about other

1373
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 5: things in our relationship. Eventually this got exhausting, and I

1374
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:40,320
Speaker 5: just confessed that I'd effed up and had no good excuse.

1375
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:42,480
Speaker 5: My mom asked what I thought would be best for me.

1376
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:45,360
Speaker 5: The answer at that point was obvious. I also left

1377
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 5: out some details when I wrote my first post. I

1378
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:51,880
Speaker 5: guess I was too embarrassed to give the full picture

1379
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:55,360
Speaker 5: the God I want to provide it now as a

1380
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 5: confession thing, but also because I can now more clearly

1381
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 5: see how effing how weird this man was and just

1382
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:05,280
Speaker 5: want people to validate that after I spent so long

1383
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 5: in denial, so the giblets he fed to the dog,

1384
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 5: he fished them out of the trash ben to do that.

1385
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 5: My mom had thrown them away after he cut them

1386
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 5: up and made a mess on the counter. He would

1387
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 5: have needed to dig through the effing garbage to find them. Again,

1388
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:22,560
Speaker 5: my parents found chocolate bars missing from the cabinet. Those

1389
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 5: were not part of the dessert that was available to everyone.

1390
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:27,720
Speaker 5: We think that he snuck them at some point, like

1391
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 5: a little kid. His general diet is atrocious. It's like

1392
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 5: what a five year old would eat, except I know

1393
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:39,600
Speaker 5: there's tons of kids who eat way better pizza, chicken nugget, pasta, fries, chips,

1394
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 5: grilled cheese, mac and cheese, lucky charms, and other sugary cereals,

1395
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:47,880
Speaker 5: ice cream, candy, not a single thing that isn't white, beige,

1396
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 5: or some hideous artificial shade.

1397
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 4: Of orange and yellow.

1398
01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 5: Whenever I'd tried to share my food or get something

1399
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:56,240
Speaker 5: else for him, he'd snap at me angrily.

1400
01:04:56,480 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 4: He doesn't have a job. I know, I know, so fully.

1401
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 5: Expecting to be raked over the coals. Were never accepting

1402
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:05,840
Speaker 5: that in a partner at this age. When I finally

1403
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:07,840
Speaker 5: admitted it to my parents, they were like.

1404
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 7: Are you serious.

1405
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 4: I had told him that he was in school and

1406
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 4: living with his parents to save money.

1407
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,240
Speaker 5: He actually was thinking about going back to school, which

1408
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,200
Speaker 5: never took the form of any action and lives with

1409
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,640
Speaker 5: his parents, because where the f else can he live

1410
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:22,400
Speaker 5: with no income?

1411
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 4: I guess I thought I could help motivate him.

1412
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 5: I thought that that's what you do as partners, support

1413
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,320
Speaker 5: each other like a team. Now I can see that

1414
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 5: there never was any team. It was just him doing

1415
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 5: what he wanted because he was broke. I also ended

1416
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,480
Speaker 5: up paying for most of the stuff that we did together.

1417
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:39,480
Speaker 5: When we went out, some people asked about the part

1418
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 5: where I said he did similar weird food things with

1419
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:44,520
Speaker 5: his family. You guys wanted to know how his family reacted.

1420
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:45,280
Speaker 4: They didn't.

1421
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:48,480
Speaker 5: They'd either pretend to not notice or else thought it

1422
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:51,040
Speaker 5: was normal. I'm not sure which he did things in

1423
01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:53,640
Speaker 5: front of them, like blowing bubbles in his drink, cutting

1424
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,840
Speaker 5: grains of rice in half with his fork over and over,

1425
01:05:57,240 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 5: and eating ice cream directly out of the container instead

1426
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:01,160
Speaker 5: of booting it into his bowl.

1427
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:04,080
Speaker 7: I do think because a lot of people have been

1428
01:06:04,120 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 7: saying it, but also I kind of agree. Is this

1429
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:10,000
Speaker 7: some sort of like, you know, he has autism.

1430
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:11,760
Speaker 4: Or that's what I has.

1431
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 7: He been diagnosed with something that.

1432
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:17,240
Speaker 4: Feels like the only possible explanation.

1433
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 7: Is this feels really extreme?

1434
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 4: For yeah, yeah, I would just.

1435
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 5: Like assume and hope that there would be other signs

1436
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:26,320
Speaker 5: against that.

1437
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:29,080
Speaker 7: I guess I'm just surprised that he hasn't mentioned it

1438
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 7: at all.

1439
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too, I thought it might come up.

1440
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:34,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, there was one time that his parents were going

1441
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:36,520
Speaker 5: to take all of us out to dinner, and when

1442
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:39,280
Speaker 5: discussing which restaurant to go to, they eliminated a bunch

1443
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:42,400
Speaker 5: because they didn't have anything that boyfriend would eat. His

1444
01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:45,479
Speaker 5: mom would sometimes serve him a completely separate meal if

1445
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:47,720
Speaker 5: whatever she'd made for the family was something that he

1446
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 5: refused to eat. Yeah, he only wanted me to do

1447
01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:52,840
Speaker 5: things to him, but didn't want to do anything for me.

1448
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:56,280
Speaker 5: He criticized me for my natural hair down there, and

1449
01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 5: then for having stubble after shaving it, like what do

1450
01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:03,440
Speaker 5: you want? He criticized my body so that my front

1451
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:04,760
Speaker 5: airbags weren't big enough.

1452
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 4: I don't even know, guys, I don't know what.

1453
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:08,320
Speaker 3: His issue was.

1454
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:11,760
Speaker 5: So that's pretty much that I'm unspeakably embarrassed I ever

1455
01:07:11,880 --> 01:07:14,320
Speaker 5: dated this loser. Sad thing is, if not for my

1456
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:17,600
Speaker 5: parents insisting on talking with me about it, I'd probably

1457
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:20,360
Speaker 5: still be dating him for who knows how long. Thinking

1458
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,240
Speaker 5: that this was just what it's like. Well, it doesn't

1459
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 5: have to be. I'm very grateful that they helped me

1460
01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:26,400
Speaker 5: see that he wasn't normal. Thanks for all the same

1461
01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 5: comments on my first post. Seeing that consensus also made

1462
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:31,560
Speaker 5: me realize that I needed to leave.

1463
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:33,200
Speaker 4: It is the end of that story.

1464
01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 7: I hope this guy gets help because it seems like

1465
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:39,760
Speaker 7: his parents just kind of let him do whatever, and

1466
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:42,680
Speaker 7: I haven't actually got him the proper help he needs,

1467
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:44,080
Speaker 7: which is an issue.

1468
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:45,600
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story.