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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and twenty three,

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Speaker 1: which is first airing in mid December. We are having

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Speaker 1: a second round of ask Us Anything. This was a

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Speaker 1: popular post on Instagram. Sarah put it in our stories

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Speaker 1: and got all sorts of questions, which, as we put out,

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Speaker 1: you can ask us anything. We are not one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent promising we will answer anything, but feel free to ask.

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Speaker 1: We'll probably do a couple more of these type of

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Speaker 1: episodes over the next year or so because they're really

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Speaker 1: fun to do. So we're headed into the holiday season

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Speaker 1: and Sarah, that's also birthday season for you guys. Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're one of those lucky families where everything's happening at once.

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Speaker 1: Both Josh and Genevieve have December birthdays actually only three

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Speaker 1: days apart, so it's going to be a festive month

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Speaker 1: for us around here. We're pretty excited. Yeah, so you're

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Speaker 1: not traveling anywhere though, right you are not. I think

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Speaker 1: I mentioned my self imposed travel ban, which is going

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Speaker 1: to continue, I think until spring break of next year,

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Speaker 1: just because I continue to feel like Genevieve is at

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Speaker 1: a difficult age for traveling, and I just feel like

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Speaker 1: I will get more joy by not by not traveling. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's save up the money and do bigger

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Speaker 1: trips when they're older, biggers later, and just wait. It's

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Speaker 1: mostly the sleep. I want to wait until I feel

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Speaker 1: fairly confident that I'm not going to wait up to

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Speaker 1: a screaming toddler in the middle of the night unless

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Speaker 1: the trip is very you know, important for personal reasons,

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Speaker 1: like in in spring break, we're gonna, hopefully, if everything

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Speaker 1: goes well, go to see my new niece, so that

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Speaker 1: you know, that's yeah, that warrants. But that's okay if

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Speaker 1: you've got a screaming big because it'll be another one

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Speaker 1: like so it'll just be all true. I don't know

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Speaker 1: that we're all going to fit in my sister's house,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, we probably won't, so I don't know if

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Speaker 1: we'll have two chorus screaming baby toddler going on. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we're not going anywhere. You know, Miami and South

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Speaker 1: Florida in general has beautiful weather in December. It's actually

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Speaker 1: unless you're really craving snow and skiing, it's a great

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Speaker 1: time not to travel. Yeah, people come see you, right

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Speaker 1: like that. I mean, you're in a place where people

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Speaker 1: would come see you at the exactly and I have

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Speaker 1: at least one friend who's going to visit with her

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Speaker 1: little fourth newborns. I'm telling you it's baby season. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we'll have people visit us. It'll be great. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're not going anywhere. Well, you're probably not allowed to

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Speaker 1: go anywhere. Not anywhere probably be a bad idea. Although

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Speaker 1: it's funny because when we were expecting Alex, we drove

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Speaker 1: out to Indiana for Christmas, and you know, this is

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Speaker 1: the same same roughly due date and everything. So I

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Speaker 1: drove out at thirty seven weeks, which you know, when

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Speaker 1: I sort of casually mentioned this at my OB's They

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Speaker 1: were like, you should probably like stop the car frequently,

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Speaker 1: get up and walk. I don't and research what the

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Speaker 1: best places to deliver babies a long way should should

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Speaker 1: that arise? But in my defense, at that point I

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Speaker 1: had never actually gone into labor naturally. Ah. That was

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Speaker 1: because my first two babies were post due date inductions,

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Speaker 1: like very late, no signs of anything happening like, so

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Speaker 1: I was induced for that. Ruth. I elected to voluntarily

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Speaker 1: induce early then because I was like, well, I'd rather

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Speaker 1: not sit around for an extra two weeks if this

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Speaker 1: is going to be the end result anyway, So we

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Speaker 1: had scheduled an induction for Alex, so I in my

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Speaker 1: mind it was like, I know when what day the

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Speaker 1: baby's going to be born. It's all gonna be good,

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Speaker 1: So I can travel like it won't happen until then,

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Speaker 1: my body's not going to do anything. And then of

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Speaker 1: course I learned that in fact, I can go from

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Speaker 1: water breaking to baby in two hours. So it's one

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Speaker 1: of the few things you can't really plan. So now

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Speaker 1: for this one, we are staying around within you know,

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Speaker 1: an hour of the hospital from this time, will you

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Speaker 1: still obey all the parking rules yet. Well, I mean,

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Speaker 1: who knows, maybe Michael, maybe we're in the baby in

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Speaker 1: the side of the road. That's time I will see.

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Speaker 1: At this point he probably has enough experience, so you're good.

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Speaker 1: So that's a long winded way I was saying, we

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Speaker 1: are not going anywhere, and but I've been making a

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Speaker 1: list of local events that we want to do that

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Speaker 1: we have, you know, I always do a Christmas fun list,

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Speaker 1: and there's stuff like I just bought tickets for the

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Speaker 1: Philadelphia Zoo Lights. There's Elmwood Park Zoo Lights. There's the

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Speaker 1: Chu Chuo Barn out in Lancaster, which is this I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's touristy trap, like it's in a storefront and a

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Speaker 1: strip mall, but they do this huge model train exhibit.

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Speaker 1: So you just go buy tickets and it's all done

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Speaker 1: up for Christmas and it's just really cool to walk

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Speaker 1: around and see that, you know, along with gardens Christmas do.

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Speaker 1: There's a couple holiday parties we always hit. So you know,

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Speaker 1: I think I think it winds up being a festive

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Speaker 1: kind of time of year regardless, and so yeah, it

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Speaker 1: should be should should be good even if we are

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Speaker 1: not going anywhere. But you guys, did uh did Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: cards instead of Yeah, we made it eat on our

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Speaker 1: years or whatever. You don't know new Years. Yeah, we're not,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know if Hanka cards are even that

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Speaker 1: much of things. We usually do New Year's, which I

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Speaker 1: think is kind of fun because you know, we'll kind

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Speaker 1: of put sort of a summary of the year, which

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Speaker 1: a lot of people doing their Christmas or holiday cards anyway.

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Speaker 1: But this year we decided to do Thanksgiving and I

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Speaker 1: ordered them in October and just because I felt like

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Speaker 1: that would be one thing that there was no real

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Speaker 1: reason to wait on because I already we had for

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Speaker 1: once had professional photos done. We actually did this as

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Speaker 1: a family, which by the way, is a great option,

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Speaker 1: so our extended family did it together. We all chipped

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Speaker 1: in on the cost, but then we took family photos

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Speaker 1: separately as well, so it was like one big event.

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Speaker 1: It was like, I'm so glad we did that when

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Speaker 1: I wanted to use photos from that shoot because some

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Speaker 1: of them turned out fantastic. So the card was easier

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Speaker 1: to do than it usually is when I'm sort of

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Speaker 1: culling together different snapshots on my iPhone. Is there anything

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Speaker 1: with everybody looking at the camera? Yeah, Yeah, So we

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Speaker 1: did Thanksgiving cards, and I think this might be a

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Speaker 1: new thing, just because it's it's nice not to have

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Speaker 1: that as a to do item when all the holiday

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Speaker 1: parties are happening and I'm worried about Hanuka presence and

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Speaker 1: all other kinds of things. The jury is out on

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Speaker 1: whether I am going to like every year. For about

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Speaker 1: a decade, I've created a family calendar on paper, and

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of the family members use them.

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Speaker 1: But to be honest, last year was the first year

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Speaker 1: we didn't use ours because we've been using a whiteboard

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Speaker 1: and we use Google Calendar, and I just when we moved,

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Speaker 1: I never bothered to hang it anywhere, And so I'm

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Speaker 1: going to take a poll and find out how strongly

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Speaker 1: the other family members feel about because it takes a

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Speaker 1: long time and it's really expensive. So unless it's really

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Speaker 1: going to be used and loved, it might be time

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Speaker 1: to move on to a new memento. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: and you could always just do like a photo, like

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Speaker 1: print up one nice photo for people or something like

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Speaker 1: that instead of a whole calendar, because a lot of

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Speaker 1: people don't use paper calendars anymore anyway. I mean, they're

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Speaker 1: fun to look at, but it's it's not that you're

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Speaker 1: actually using it as any sort of capture system, and

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Speaker 1: so then it just becomes another thing like that's up

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Speaker 1: on the wall. Let's see, how about gifts, gift A

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Speaker 1: gift plan this year? Yeah, no, the gift plan is

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Speaker 1: always a know, it just winds up being more than

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Speaker 1: I ever really need. Or the kids can have seven stockings,

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Speaker 1: well not this year. You could and then give it

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Speaker 1: to him after that's true, to give it to him afterwards.

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Speaker 1: It'd be kind of cute because you could let your

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Speaker 1: other kids buy baby. Well, I should probably go in

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Speaker 1: and put in Well, the problem is I don't know

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Speaker 1: the name for one hundred percent. Sure, I mean I

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Speaker 1: kind of do, but like a little symbol. Well so,

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Speaker 1: but I mean we all have matching stock and with

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Speaker 1: our names on them, and so you know, this has

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Speaker 1: to like officially happen, you know, so I probably should

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Speaker 1: wait till it's on the birth certificate. Letsted change it

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Speaker 1: changed my mind, No, I don't know. I mean I

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Speaker 1: think I'm going to try to somewhat limit it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, I always wind up going overboard because it's

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Speaker 1: just it's fun and they're still little, and but I

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Speaker 1: mean the older kids especially, there's less that they ask for.

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Speaker 1: It les drinking out that they're that excited about, which

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Speaker 1: is great. I'm excited about that, It's true, other than

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Speaker 1: the stuff they do want is expensive. So and we

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Speaker 1: have these whole like philosophical questions. So Jasper asked for

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Speaker 1: Netflix for Christmas, which I mean, it's it's not particularly expensive, right,

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Speaker 1: It's like a relatively cheap gift. But the question is,

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Speaker 1: and we want to have Netflix in our house? And yeah,

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Speaker 1: we do, Laura, do you have Netflix? Netflix is great,

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Speaker 1: There's so many good things on Netflix. Should watch sh

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Speaker 1: It's Creak, It's the best. Oh yeah, yeah, Well this

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Speaker 1: will be the year where my my goal is to

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Speaker 1: watch television. There's actually a lot there's like a lot

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Speaker 1: of good shows on Netflix. Like, I have no doubt

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Speaker 1: there's good stuff on there. It's the question of, like

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Speaker 1: is this something we need to introduce into our lives.

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Speaker 1: But I think you know, to give Jasper, to give

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Speaker 1: to give another point for Jasper, I know you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I do feel like the quality of the TV on

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Speaker 1: Netflix is is like higher than maybe maybe it's my

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Speaker 1: delusion thinking that, but I'm not really They try pretty hard,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like there's a number of smart people

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Speaker 1: creating that content, although a lot of it is not

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Speaker 1: kid I mean, he's in that age where things that

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Speaker 1: aren't kid appropriate are starting to be okay for him.

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Speaker 1: But it's like he's like right on that line. So

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Speaker 1: that's difficult. Yeah, I mean, it's well, it's one of

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Speaker 1: the reason that they don't have televisions in their bedrooms

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. I mean it's so it would

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Speaker 1: be in a place other people could see and if

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Speaker 1: there was anything inappropriate, sort of have this discussion. Although

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that my husband has already watched a

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Speaker 1: ton of things I would consider inappropriate with the older

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Speaker 1: boys anyway, so violence and whatever. So yeah, I know,

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Speaker 1: maybe that would be a good thing to give him

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Speaker 1: and then he'd be happy. Well, I haven't made my decision.

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize my kids were spoiled by having Netflix,

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Speaker 1: but now I feel like, I guess they're lucky. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we don't have cable. So yeah, we have cable. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we have ridiculous quantities of cable, but that's because we

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Speaker 1: have to have the Texas A and M football games.

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Speaker 1: And it turns out there's no good way to just

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Speaker 1: get like Texas A and Ala cart because of course

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Speaker 1: they know that, right, So you have to get ridiculous

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Speaker 1: cable package with sports and stuff SEC Network and I

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Speaker 1: am so they get you, they get you on that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Well, Annabelle has been debating she wants

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Speaker 1: a planner. I can't imagine where she gets that one

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Speaker 1: from the idea, but she is debating between a kid's

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Speaker 1: Aaron Condren. They have like a special kids planner it's

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Speaker 1: very stickered in rainbow and her very own HOI with

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Speaker 1: a pink cover. So she's she's kind of going back

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Speaker 1: and forth. I think she's really enjoying the rumination process

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Speaker 1: a lot, so I'm not rushing her. And then Cameron

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Speaker 1: is just obsessed with like he's been asking for the

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Speaker 1: last year. I want a box of Babel I want

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Speaker 1: to I want a whole box of them, like he's

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Speaker 1: seen kids with like a like they get like plastic

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Speaker 1: bab blades or like these little toys that spin. They

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Speaker 1: look like little rockets, kind of kind of like they

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Speaker 1: look like transformers, but really they were like spinning tops

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Speaker 1: branded for like boys who like rough stuff. I guess

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Speaker 1: they I mean girls like them too, but there's definitely

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Speaker 1: a little branding going on. And they they are these

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Speaker 1: plastic tackle boxes that some people they've got a mass

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Speaker 1: a giant collection they can fill. So he's like, no,

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Speaker 1: I want the whole collection in the box, kind of

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Speaker 1: like in the box it was like a large ask. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we're gonna have to figure out like how many

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Speaker 1: we're gonna stock the box with or whether that could

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Speaker 1: be like four nights spread out over one night and

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Speaker 1: then a bay Blade another and then another another to

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Speaker 1: take you through the whole time. Actually much, that's true.

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Speaker 1: That's true. So we'll see and Genevieve, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: we'll figure it out. But this year she's actually going

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Speaker 1: to be into toys though, I mean, this is I

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Speaker 1: don't know that she's going to care that much like

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Speaker 1: what it is, but she's definitely gonna want to unwrap stuff.

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Speaker 1: It looks kill like, yeah, well the problem I mean,

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Speaker 1: so we never put stuff under our tree until Christmas

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Speaker 1: tree for us, there's no tree for you. But it's

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Speaker 1: it's that we you know, we've always had a little child,

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Speaker 1: and the small children have no impulse control and they

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Speaker 1: don't know why would you not open everything before, and

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Speaker 1: so we figured this out relatively. This is the first

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Speaker 1: year Alex can like handle it like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure I really want to tempt fate like that.

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Speaker 1: I just think it might be. I think most of

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Speaker 1: the time the better angels of his nature would triumph.

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Speaker 1: But all it takes is one morning when it doesn't,

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Speaker 1: and that would be the end of it. So I think, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then you've turned something really fun into something like

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Speaker 1: to some annoying, some unhappiness. So we're just going to

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Speaker 1: keep them away and put them out on Christmas. And

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Speaker 1: I like the idea of the whole pile of presents

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Speaker 1: under the tree in the weeks leading up to Christmas,

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Speaker 1: but you know, maybe in another step in years. I

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Speaker 1: also feel like kids would get a little too sleuthy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, even if they weren't doing something bad, they'd

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Speaker 1: be like, you know, they'd probably figure out what was

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Speaker 1: in there and then what was in there? Yeah. All right,

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Speaker 1: let's take a quick break before we head into our

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Speaker 1: round two of ask us anything, and we will be

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Speaker 1: right back. We'd like to take a quick break to

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Speaker 1: we are back and I have some juicy questions in here.

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Speaker 1: Ooh yeah's start with an easy one ready or it

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Speaker 1: is an easy one, Laura, it's for you. Can I

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Speaker 1: get more specifics about a night nurse? Yes, sure, So

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Speaker 1: this is a service like different. I mean, you may

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Speaker 1: have been in a big city where they have lots

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Speaker 1: of people advertising services as baby nurses. Some people do

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Speaker 1: this like twenty four hours a day, but you know,

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Speaker 1: we already have full on childcare, so we don't really

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Speaker 1: need that. But the idea of a night nurse is

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Speaker 1: is that sleep is awesome and it's one of the

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Speaker 1: most challenging parts of having a newborn. And if you

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Speaker 1: only have one newborn and you're on maternity to leave,

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Speaker 1: it might be possible to sort of make up that

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Speaker 1: sleep during the day, but if there's other kids around

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Speaker 1: and others that you know, it's it's just nice to

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Speaker 1: be able to do this. So we have a service

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Speaker 1: that's going to be coming probably about you know, five

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Speaker 1: nights a week. They come at nine o'clock, stay till

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Speaker 1: six o'clock. I still am planning to breastfeed, so for

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Speaker 1: the beginning, you know, the issues that they take the

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Speaker 1: baby for everything other than the feeding. And so the

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Speaker 1: way we did it with Alex is, you know, they'd

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Speaker 1: come in at one, come in at four, and then

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Speaker 1: within a couple of weeks, I was pumping the one

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Speaker 1: o'clock bottle so that you could sleep from you know,

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Speaker 1: nine thirty to four. And that just is a wonderful

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Speaker 1: thing if you have a you know, month old, six

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Speaker 1: week old baby to get that long of a stretch

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Speaker 1: of sleep. And so yeah, this is this is something

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Speaker 1: that I am willing to put money into, and particularly

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Speaker 1: if you have older, you know, other kids, and if

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Speaker 1: your partner travels, for instance, for work, so this can't

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Speaker 1: necessarily be split in the night even you know, because

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Speaker 1: just because your partner isn't the one breastfeeding doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: the partner couldn't take the kid if there's say, fussiness

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Speaker 1: at times that don't involve feeding. So that's, uh, that's

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Speaker 1: the plan, and we'll keep the service for a while

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Speaker 1: and hopefully about to the point where the baby can

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Speaker 1: sleep through the night. And this is just you know,

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Speaker 1: I I know that it probably seems a little bit indulgent,

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Speaker 1: but I'm a big fan of spending money to make

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Speaker 1: life easier. So this is something I am giving to

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Speaker 1: myself as a way to make the transition. Well, it's

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Speaker 1: fascinating how judgment tends to come out when you spend

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Speaker 1: money on something like that, but like a giant home

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Speaker 1: renovation or kitchen redo, people don't even blink or like

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Speaker 1: the fact that I'm driving an eight year old car, right, like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's I think people would have replaced that

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Speaker 1: a while ago, and if you did, if I did.

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Speaker 1: And yet it's somehow the buying time, buying marital peace

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Speaker 1: and happiness, buying my not flying off the handle at

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Speaker 1: my other kids, you know, because I'm incredibly sleep deprived. There,

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Speaker 1: these are all good things and I'm willing to spend

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Speaker 1: money on that sounds good, all right, And I didn't

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Speaker 1: do that, by the way, so it's okay if you

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Speaker 1: also don't. But I do see the appeal in particular

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Speaker 1: almost in it's not even like I did much overnight,

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Speaker 1: but kind of knowing that I wouldn't have to, Yeah,

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00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,159
Speaker 1: you could just that and not just worry about it

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Speaker 1: of like, well, even if she wakes up, I don't

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Speaker 1: have to deal with it except for those feeding So

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Speaker 1: I see that. Like at first I had trouble rationalizing it.

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Speaker 1: But it's not even necessarily that you're buying that much work.

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Speaker 1: You're kind of buying like the availability right, so that

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Speaker 1: you could go to sleep and know you will sleep

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Speaker 1: until the baby til you choose. Yeah, exactly, that's awesome.

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Speaker 1: All right, here's another easy one, Sarah, did you find

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Speaker 1: a free alternative to wine ab? Yes and no. So

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Speaker 1: I've been using every dollar for the last like three

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Speaker 1: months or so, and it's fine. Wine ab is you

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Speaker 1: need a budget by the way, first, sorry, you need

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Speaker 1: a budget which had an old free version that we

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00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 1: had that finally sort of stopped working perfectly, and then

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00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:56,959
Speaker 1: they have a paid version. Every dollar is fine. There

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Speaker 1: are certain things about it that kind of annoy me.

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Speaker 1: Things you have to do with the end of each

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Speaker 1: month to kind of balance everything that you don't have

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Speaker 1: to do with wineab. And I'm considering for twenty twenty

388
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 1: just going to the paid version of winab, which I

389
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Speaker 1: think is like I don't know, something like eighty dollars

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00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,159
Speaker 1: a year or something like that. It does sort of

391
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 1: seem silly to nickel and dime a budget app that

392
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 1: probably does help us same significant amount of money just

393
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,199
Speaker 1: by being conscious and for me is also kind of

394
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Speaker 1: like buying peace of mind, because I really now I'm

395
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 1: like addicted, like I really like to just know where

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00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 1: all of our money goes and I know that Josh

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00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 1: finds it helpful as well. So yeah, while we did

398
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Speaker 1: find it, I don't know that I'm going to be

399
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 1: sticking to every dollar now. Some people might love it

400
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 1: and it actually I would say that it's very reliable,

401
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 1: it's easy to use, it has a desktop version, and

402
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: it is completely There's a free and a paid version.

403
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,479
Speaker 1: The free has a lot of functionality, so I wouldn't

404
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: deter anyone from looking at every Dollar. I think I

405
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: just preferred basically like the way the months connected to

406
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: each other and the way the dollars rolled over in

407
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: wineab better. So yeah, all right, next one, as planners,

408
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Speaker 1: how do you approach spontaneous invites you're not sure will

409
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 1: be worth it? Well? I found this an interesting question,

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Speaker 1: like what sort of life this person lives where there

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Speaker 1: are just spontaneous invitations coming in all the time that

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Speaker 1: she has to, you know, beat the people off from

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Speaker 1: asking for social engagements. You know, I feel like we're

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Speaker 1: many of the people that I do see are in

415
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 1: the same boat, and that you know, everyone's busy with

416
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Speaker 1: kids stuff, so it's not like there are people who

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Speaker 1: are planning all that much. Sort of adult oriented social engagements.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be adult oriented, okay to be

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Speaker 1: a spontaneous plays. I mean it just says spontaneous invites. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I like, I don't know, let me ask all answers

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Speaker 1: since you're thinking about it, because I have a definite answer,

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00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 1: which is that I have to force myself not to

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00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,360
Speaker 1: just immediately say no, because that's my instinct, like nope,

424
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 1: we're doing this, but like, take a breath, Like maybe

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Speaker 1: it does fit into the plan. Maybe it would be

426
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 1: fun to have that play dat or stay for lunch

427
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: or like do like and yeah, no, I'm not talking

428
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 1: about like a spontaneous like invitation to go to Paris

429
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 1: for the weekend. And we're thinking about like like you

430
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,679
Speaker 1: run into somebody maybe at a kid's sports event, and

431
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 1: they say, hey, do you want to come over afterwards?

432
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 1: Like my first instinct would be like no, because I

433
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: was going to plan on cooking dinner and blah blah,

434
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 1: you know whatever I had thought about. And sometimes I

435
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: do still say no, but I kind of take a

436
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 1: purposeful pause because I know my instincts are a little

437
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: bit much sometimes and my husband is definitely always of

438
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: the mind of like, yeah, let's do that sometimes to

439
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 1: his detriment, so we actually make a very nice balance

440
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: in that regard. Yeah, no, that sounds good. I think,

441
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: you know, my first pulse would always be to be like,

442
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 1: but there's already a plan. But sometimes you can rearrange

443
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: things and it does work. So I think, yeah, pause

444
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 1: and say, well, actually, would this be fun? Would I

445
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: find it cool? And if so, see if it can work,

446
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: and if it can, it can't, but you to pause

447
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: and consider if the plan could be reworked. I like

448
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 1: it all right. Okay, another fairly easy one. How did

449
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 1: you pick schools for your kids? So we had pretty

450
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: much known we I was not looking forward to figuring

451
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: out the whole school issue in New York City. So

452
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: when Jasper was turning four and we knew that Ruth

453
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,239
Speaker 1: was on her way so we'd have three children, it

454
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: was it seemed like a good time to be looking elsewhere.

455
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: We had always had Philadelphia in the back of our minds.

456
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 1: I mean partly because Michael's Michael had transferred to his

457
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: firm's office here anyway, and he just wasn't going like

458
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: once every two weeks or so, So it'd always been

459
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: in the back of our minds, and I had met

460
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 1: somebody who was on the Lower Marion Township Council on

461
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 1: a trip to Peru, like a group trip to Peru

462
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: years ago, and she told me about the whole area

463
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: and everything. We knew that the schools were supposed to

464
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: be pretty good here, and so when we were looking

465
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 1: to buy a house, we just looked in this district.

466
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: And so, you know, it's wonderful to know that you

467
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: can send your kids to good local public schools and

468
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 1: not have it be a huge ordeal of applying. It's just,

469
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: you know, buy a house in this set area or

470
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 1: rent an apartment in this set area and they're in.

471
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: It's great. I'm a big fan. So that's what we did.

472
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: That we looked and seen that they were well ranked schools,

473
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 1: and we knew people had gone to them, and so yeah,

474
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: I'm also kind of a satisficer. So obviously, theoretically we

475
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: could have looked anywhere, I guess, but it helped to

476
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 1: have a little bit of a guideline, a limit to

477
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 1: where we were looking. To counter that, I guess, did

478
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: you look at private schools at all? Is that something

479
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: you thought about, because I'm finding that in the area

480
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: where I live. We currently are planning on sticking with

481
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 1: public schools, but that makes us somewhat of an outlier,

482
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,400
Speaker 1: particularly among our work colleagues, which is interesting. That yeah,

483
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: that is interesting. I mean I feel like people generally

484
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 1: buy in our district because of the schools if you

485
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 1: have kids. I mean, it's not there are certainly cheaper

486
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: places you could live in terms of your property taxes

487
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: and the prices that are baked into the houses. Then

488
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: because of that, I know, I went my college. One

489
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 1: of my college suite mates lived near you and went

490
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: to a private school in the area. Well, there certainly

491
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: are a lot of There are some people who choose, Yeah,

492
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: there are people who choose to do do and there's lots

493
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: of different reasons. I mean it's you know, some people

494
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: want much smaller classes for their kids. Or if your

495
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 1: kid has some sort of learning difference that you think

496
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: would be better addressed in a smaller environment or more

497
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: one on one situation, that's totally great. Or if you

498
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: want a single sex education for some reason that's also

499
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: our religious you know, if you're very devout and want

500
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: school that is oriented that way to support those values.

501
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 1: I mean, these are all reasons that people choose private schools,

502
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean I went to public schools

503
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: K through twelve. Michael went to public schools K through twelve,

504
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 1: So it's just not our default thing. And I'm not

505
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 1: saying i'd never consider it. Like if we had a

506
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: really bad situation, you know, we were a kid who

507
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: couldn't function in a sort of normal class environment, Yeah,

508
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: and a heartbeat, I would, I would try to find

509
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 1: another schooling situation. But since that doesn't seem to be

510
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 1: the case for any of our kids, our default is

511
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: just to find a good district and then go with it.

512
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,159
Speaker 1: We were very similar. We like mapped basically when we

513
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 1: were moving from Miami Beach, you know where the best

514
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: school districts were in proximity to work, and that's how

515
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: we picked where our house is. I mean just financially,

516
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: when once you get past two kids, it really does

517
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 1: you know, you got to multiply that tuition and unless

518
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 1: there was some I mean I think there are some benefits.

519
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: And again, like of course I'm also biased having had

520
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: a public school K through twelve education as well, so

521
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: I think there are benefits there. And then then there's

522
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 1: also that huge benefit of like all the money not

523
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 1: going into school can go into college funds perhaps, or

524
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,199
Speaker 1: like you know, that's not a necessarily a given. Some

525
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: people feel like they'd rather spend it on private high

526
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 1: school and then send their child to public college or

527
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: have them take out loans for college. But for us,

528
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 1: I think doing both would be difficult and we would

529
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 1: rather put that money in college. So yeah, although I say,

530
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 1: if you know for sure that you are going to

531
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 1: be sending your children to private school, or if you

532
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 1: know you're going to be homeschooling or something like that,

533
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 1: then that allows you to kind of broaden your search

534
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: of where you will live. Yes, And there could be

535
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: upsides of that, like you might be able to live

536
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: in a sort of you know, smaller district wherehouses are cheaper,

537
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: or in a more urban environment where maybe the schools

538
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: aren't exactly what you'd want or you have to go

539
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:55,719
Speaker 1: through huge application processes. But because you're not in that system,

540
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: you can you know, broaden your housing search. So there

541
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: are trade offs either way. And yeah, it's a lot

542
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: of money out the door for tuition, but if you

543
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: have one or two kids and then you can buy

544
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 1: or rent somewhere that is not got the price of

545
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 1: a district baked in. Some of this stuff probably comes

546
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: out in the swash in terms of the economics. Anyway. Okay, well,

547
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: I'm happy with our decisions so far, so we'll see

548
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: what happens. Question is next, what do your husbands do

549
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: for fun or self care? I want to hear because

550
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: Josh has some more interesting stuff I think than Yeah,

551
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 1: Josh is super into guitars and playing music these days,

552
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: like super into it. He's even in a band right now.

553
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 1: They have a concert coming up they have. I think

554
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 1: the band is like the concerts called Rock the Docks,

555
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 1: and his band is called Code Purple, and he's like

556
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: loving it. And the funny thing was he did admit

557
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, I don't really run anymore. I mostly

558
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: like play guitar. And I'm like, well, you probably need

559
00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 1: to do something for general health, just being you know,

560
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:05,239
Speaker 1: an adult. That's like important for our longevity, which is

561
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: which he has claimed he wants to live to one hundred.

562
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: So I'm like, like, good to do something. But he

563
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: he's he's able to do a little of both, and

564
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 1: he's definitely immersed himself significantly into this music stuff. So

565
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: I love that he gets this much joy I would

566
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 1: also say he may not consider this self care, but

567
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: he also seems to find a lot of time to

568
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, watch various series on on Netflix, common

569
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: topic of today's episode, or and read some science fiction

570
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 1: which she likes. Does he have a favorite author? It's

571
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 1: not passion that I share something you're discussing frequently. He

572
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: did get me to read Ready Player one and I

573
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: really liked it, so that was good good. I mean,

574
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: I actually I don't mind, like when I get into

575
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 1: a good science fiction, I don't mind it. But he

576
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 1: will read like the multi volume things. It is like

577
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: set in like a different you know, planet, and that's

578
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: just like a lot for me. Yeah, yeah, I like

579
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 1: my novels to be a little bit more grounded, either

580
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: in like history or another culture or like here. Yeah. No,

581
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think, like, what does Michael do for fun? Well,

582
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: he's he runs, and we both run, and he pitting races, right,

583
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: puitting races. He's been doing more. He signed up for

584
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: two half marathons in the fall of twenty nineteen. So

585
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: there's definitely, you know, a question of trying to get

586
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: those long runs done on weekends, and so that certainly

587
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 1: takes up a chunk of I guess his leisure time.

588
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: He likes, you know, movies and TV shows, like he

589
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 1: has various ones he watches with the kids that they

590
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: choose together. They've all gotten into Young Sheldon, you know,

591
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: the spinoff from Big Bang Theory. They were watching Big

592
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: Bang Theory and now they love Young Sheldon even more.

593
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: I think because it is about sort of kids. Kids. Yes,

594
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: it's about kids, and it's even more so it's about

595
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: a Texas family, like you know in the Oh, so

596
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: he is Young Shelby. I you're being probably not. There's

597
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 1: little less social awkwardness, but that's awesome. But they definitely

598
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 1: appreciate the Texas household and all that comes with that.

599
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: You know. We've come up with different things for him

600
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: to do, Like he went skiing with his brother last

601
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 1: winter that they did a trip together. He's very close

602
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 1: with his family, so they do stuff together. They all

603
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: went to a Texas A and In football game together

604
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: this fall. I got him a flying lesson from for

605
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 1: last Christmas that he just finally in late fall did

606
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: and it seems to you like it. I don't think

607
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: he liked it enough to actually devote the time to

608
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 1: do it. And of course the flight school that was

609
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: half the day as they're pitching like you come take

610
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: flight lessons, you know, get your pilot's license. Whatever. It

611
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 1: made me so nervous, Like I'm nervous just thinking about it. Yeah,

612
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: he likes he's scuba dives. He's been certified the whole

613
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: time we've been together, and so we do. Whenever we

614
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: take a trip that's tropical or something that's something he

615
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: will go do. So a lot of the stuff is

616
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: not day to day. I mean running is day to day.

617
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: I would say the hobbies are kind of things that

618
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: are harder to do on a day to day basis.

619
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: There's sort of that more trip recreational thing, the scuba

620
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: and the skiing, and but you know that counts, it counts.

621
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 1: Do you feel like he's satisfied with his amount of

622
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 1: self care or fun? I think so. I mean he

623
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: enjoys his job, and I think there's a lot of

624
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: general socializing through that and learning new things from that.

625
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: So there's there's sort of less of an impetus to

626
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: find other stuff to do, which which is cool. He's immersed.

627
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: He's immersed. It's fair, I think, Josh, which is he

628
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: had a little more time. I don't know how to

629
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: give him more time though, Yeah, well trying, I wouldn't.

630
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 1: I don't think that's your problem. No, it's yeah, that's true.

631
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,479
Speaker 1: That's true. It's it's how he wants to to arrange things.

632
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: But hey, if he ever told me he wanted to

633
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: work eighty percent or something, you'd be all over that.

634
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 1: I'd be okay, all right. On a lighter note, fave

635
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 1: products for the um was included in the question quote

636
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 1: aging skin botox. It's not what we think of it

637
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: as a traditional product product, but I can promise that

638
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 1: it works unlike the vast majority of no drug store

639
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: or whatever aging products. Yeah. No, if you want to

640
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 1: get rid of your wrinkles, injections are fillable. Fillers are

641
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 1: probably the way to go. You know, I'm waiting till

642
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 1: I'm forty at least, which is not very far. I

643
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: will say, yeah, I mean that's probably the most tried

644
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 1: and true and research BacT as well. They're actually papers

645
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: on that, and there probably aren't that many papers on

646
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: you know, Sephora product. But I will tell you a

647
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 1: product I've been enjoying. It's not it has nothing to

648
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 1: do with really aging, but I really really like it.

649
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: It is the Ole Hendrickson Ole I don't know O

650
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: l E. Sauna scrub and this isn't This really doesn't

651
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: have to do with aging, but it like heats up

652
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: when you put it on your face. It's amazing. But

653
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't have some weird chemicals because it's at least

654
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,319
Speaker 1: labeled as clean, so I don't know, but it like, so,

655
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: what's on your face? Oh, but it feels amazing, and

656
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: then making soda and vinegar. It's like a kid science experiment,

657
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: it might be, but it's my new favorite find from

658
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: my I kind of like treated myself to a bit

659
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: of a Sephora hall about two months ago, and this

660
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: is when I came upon on my own rather than

661
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: following someone else's wreck. But I really enjoy it the

662
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: sauna scrub. It comes in a little green too, And

663
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: I am gonna be loyal because yeah, all right, well

664
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to choose some from this list. Here, go

665
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 1: for it. How does Sarah like ramping up her hours?

666
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: Was there any difference between eighty percent to ninety percent

667
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: and then now, especially as you have some more flexibility

668
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: but more sort of responsibilities that aren't directly related to

669
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 1: patient care and thus can expand out of the time

670
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 1: when you are seeing patients. Say, you know's, how's that

671
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: working out for you? Yeah, it's I do feel like

672
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: I have a bigger job, for better or for worse.

673
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,240
Speaker 1: I feel a lot more responsibility, and with that actually

674
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 1: comes a little bit more stress that I am just

675
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: kind of right now maybe dealing with a little bit

676
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 1: of imposter syndrome too, Like, oh my god, I'm really

677
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: in charge of this. Am I ready for this? Because

678
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 1: I am someone who didn't spend a ton of years

679
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 1: as an associate program director before making that transition. But

680
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 1: I actually really also like it. You know, on days

681
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: when I have a lot of meetings and I'm doing

682
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 1: a lot of managerial stuff, I'm like, oh yeah, this

683
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,800
Speaker 1: is like I really like this. This speaks to my strength.

684
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: I love working with my residents. It is the recruitment

685
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 1: part is stressful, Like right now we're in our interview

686
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: season and kind of making sure that your next class

687
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,320
Speaker 1: is going to be as good as your last classes

688
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 1: is like I feel like you're rolling the dice. So

689
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: right now I'm just a little bit like, but the

690
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: ramping up of the hours wasn't that noticeable compared to like,

691
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 1: I really do feel like I changed jobs, Like becoming

692
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: PD is a lot. I only see patients really two

693
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: days a week now, which is about right. I really

694
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: enjoy those two days. I would not want to get

695
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: rid of them. I like teaching during those days. I

696
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 1: like keeping the patients that I have. I'd be so

697
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: sad to like abandon my more complicated patients. And I

698
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: really made sure I did have to transition a few

699
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 1: of my patients, but anybody that had kind of more

700
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: than one issue, I made sure they stayed with me.

701
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: And I'm just fitting them in whatever. So yeah, I

702
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 1: would say, thus far, I like it. It's definitely more stressful.

703
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: I don't miss the extra day off, like I get

704
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 1: one extra day off every two weeks basically, which amounts

705
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: to when you look at like all the PTO that

706
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 1: comes with our job, I get about fifty two days

707
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: off a year because you have to count all the PTO,

708
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 1: which is great. That averages to once a week. Of course,

709
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I use that more by taking longer vacations,

710
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 1: and a lot of times I use those days during

711
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: the weeks to record podcasts. I think that's my nature.

712
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: I'm not someone who's gonna like go home and put

713
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: my feet up. I maybe needed that when I was

714
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 1: pumping or just like really tired with babies waking up

715
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 1: all night. Otherwise I know I'm going to fill the time.

716
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: So ninety percent feels just about right. Yea, yeah, that's good.

717
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,800
Speaker 1: That's good, All right, Sarah. The recommended age gap between

718
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: c and G or do you wish you'd had number

719
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 1: three earlier? I don't think I could have had number

720
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: three earlier. I mean, I just it would have been

721
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: too much. It would have like broken me having like

722
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 1: a zero, two and four at the same time. Or

723
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 1: you know, Annibale and Camera aren't even two years apart,

724
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 1: so if I had spaced them two months, good, I

725
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: agree under four that's it. Really took me until Cameron

726
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 1: was about three to be like, okay, I can think

727
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: about having another. And I at one point, I think

728
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: after annabel was born, I'd always wanted three. Then I

729
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 1: had Annabelle and was like, wow, kids are are a lot.

730
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 1: Maybe two is fine. And then I guess in becoming

731
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 1: a more confident parent and just getting more into it

732
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,359
Speaker 1: and sort of realizing love, like you know, once you're

733
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: kind of in this place. Adding more is not I

734
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 1: don't know, it just took me a while, but having

735
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,760
Speaker 1: multiple toddlers is really hard. Like I remember when when

736
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 1: Annabel was like not even two, when Cameron was a baby,

737
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 1: and that was like not fun. I actually found the

738
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 1: early days with Genevieve much much more pleasant. So I

739
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 1: think I'm very happy about the age gap. It's not

740
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: so far that they don't enjoy playing with her like

741
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: they love playing with her. I have the best pictures

742
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: like they're I mean, the only thing maybe if I

743
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: had had her like a few months earlier, so that

744
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: they could have had one year of elementary school together,

745
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: but I mean, probably not worth it. So no, I'm

746
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: very happy with my gap. And for the record, no,

747
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 1: I am not interested in I've said it before, but

748
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 1: just in case anyone's like, whoa, she's apparently we were

749
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: having that guest who said in France like people have

750
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: like two pairs of kids, and I see like the

751
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: logic behind that. Not free perfect, We're good, We're just good.

752
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: We're good. And on that note, Laura, would you want

753
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: a sixth someone wanted to know that is that is

754
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 1: not in the plan right now? I mean partly because

755
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,879
Speaker 1: be forty one as this baby is born, so I'd

756
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,759
Speaker 1: probably be forty three, you know when the next one

757
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 1: would be born, just starting to get a little bit

758
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 1: older in terms of the risks of things going wrong.

759
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 1: So I think five is going to be a good number.

760
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm excited about having a fifth. I'm not feeling like

761
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: I need to have a sixth to have too close together,

762
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 1: despite the bigger age gap between the little guy and

763
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 1: his older siblings, because like I went through, I went

764
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 1: through that time. You know, now Jasper, Sam and Ruth

765
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: they're twelve, ten and eight, so of course at one

766
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: point they were four to two in an infant and

767
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 1: that was a lot. Uh. It just I think that

768
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:21,439
Speaker 1: was the hardest time of parenthood because by the time

769
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: Alex came, they were starting to get bigger. And then now,

770
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 1: of course with this little dude, they're they're all big

771
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: kids to a degree, and so you know, you just

772
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,240
Speaker 1: don't have this the piling out of like multiple people

773
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,760
Speaker 1: who are going to go stick forks in their eyes

774
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 1: at the same time. And so it's two, like under

775
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 1: three even it's just such a hard so hard, it's

776
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: hard because nobody can understand when you're like, no, I

777
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 1: need to be doing this kid, You know what I mean, Like,

778
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 1: there's no there's no rationalizing, there's no and they both

779
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 1: are so needy at that stage. Oh yeah, it's hard.

780
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: You just feel like you're failing a lot. And then

781
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 1: you wait and it goes, it gets better and it's better. Okay, yes,

782
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 1: maybe like one more? Okay, well what do you want

783
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 1: you choose? Okay? Any thoughts on a best of both

784
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: world meet up someday? Someday? Sure, you know, maybe we'll

785
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: take the show on the road. It'll be good if

786
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: we could get a big enough audience so we know

787
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,280
Speaker 1: we'd have a concentrated group of people who'd get together

788
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 1: in different studies. So please keep helping us spread the

789
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 1: word and grow the show, and then we can look

790
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 1: about doing this elsewhere. Maybe we'll do a poll sometime

791
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 1: to look at, like what the ideal location would be,

792
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 1: because I don't know where a lot of our listeners are.

793
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: The other thing is I've been bothering Laura that I

794
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: want to go to I don't think she wants to,

795
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: but I want to go podcast conference at some point,

796
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: just because I think it'd be fun to meet other

797
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 1: podcasters and like, I don't know, just see what that

798
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 1: world looks like. And so maybe somehow in conjunction with

799
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 1: that we could sneak in a meetup. That would be fun.

800
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,959
Speaker 1: All right, let's do our love of the week, all right.

801
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 1: Mine is Florida winter weather, because I'm sorry, I just

802
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: had a brag because our summers are so lame and

803
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: I'm just so happy to be out of that time.

804
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's really nice here in the winter. It

805
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: is not nice here in the winter, but I do, like,

806
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 1: I mean, just the whole idea of Christmas lights and

807
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: the holidays sort of sees that. I mean, the you know,

808
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,439
Speaker 1: it was smart to stick the holidays around the winter

809
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 1: solstice because then as you're getting darker and dark, it's like,

810
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: oh look, lights and specialness and fun and family. Then

811
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 1: of course you've got to get through January and February

812
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 1: and half of March, which are snowy and yucky and gross.

813
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 1: But March is the worst. March is the worst because

814
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 1: you use it here, well not this year but next year.

815
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 1: Just it just the wind. The weather continues like that,

816
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: but you know, at least you've you're on the up.

817
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: It's getting lighter at that point, So props to whoever

818
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:04,320
Speaker 1: thought to, you know, put the winter solstice celebration with Christmas.

819
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 1: You know, I'm sure that evolved or whatever whoever did

820
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: it first. But since since it, you know, theologically, it's

821
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 1: pretty clear Jesus was probably not born on December twenty five.

822
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,240
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. I was like, wait a second,

823
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: isn't it the actual date. No, it's not, it is not.

824
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: It was in those poor It was the marriage of

825
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 1: pagan solstice celebrations with the Christian birth celebrated, which and

826
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,720
Speaker 1: this is all very North Hemisphere, yes, North Hemisphere centric anyway,

827
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 1: like your sign, what does it matter if you're born

828
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: December twenty fifth, or like, I don't know, September in May.

829
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 1: It's all sort of you know. Our listeners on the

830
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: other side of the world are like, yeah, you and

831
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: your Christmas lights? Yeah, old biting air anyway. All right, well,

832
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: this has been best of both worlds. We've been doing

833
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: holidays plus ask Us anything, which we will do again

834
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 1: because we love these episodes. But we'll be back next

835
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: week with more on making work in life fit together.

836
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

837
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,

838
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

839
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,800
Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please

840
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and

841
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 1: life work together.