WEBVTT - Work in Progress: Lili Reinhart 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:05.200 Hey, friends, it is a weird time to be making content, 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:10.160 certainly from here in Los Angeles, California. This wonderful episode 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:13.720 with Lily we actually recorded a few weeks before the fires, 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:19.360 and now it's up and we won't be discussing it 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:22.520 obviously on this episode since it hadn't happened yet. But 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:24.479 I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows there 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:29.120 are so many incredible resources and groups that you can support. 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:33.000 I've actually got a really wonderful mutual aid list in 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:35.800 a highlight on my Instagram stories and we will put 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:38.559 it in the show notes as well. If you have 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:41.720 a heart for the people and places that make La 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:47.000 so wonderful and special, please consider visiting that and supporting 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:49.400 our city. Love you all, I hope you're staying safe. 0:00:49.680 --> 0:01:04.160 Welcome to work in progress high WIF Smarties. Today we 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:06.600 are joined by someone I have been a fan of 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:12.000 for such a long time. I am so impressed, and 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:14.720 I so admire the way that she carries herself, the 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:18.240 things she's willing to talk about, the ways she's willing 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.760 to sent her really human experiences in a world that 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:25.120 doesn't always want to do that. And she happens to 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:29.679 be brilliant, stunning, an entrepreneur, a producer, an incredible actor, 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:34.720 and an author. Today's guest is none other than Lily 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:39.480 ryan Hart. You likely met Lily portraying Betty Cooper on 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:43.120 the CW drama series Riverdale. Can't wait to talk to 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:47.240 her about our high school experiences on the cedeb. She 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:51.000 has worked on incredible films from Hustlers to Chemical Hearts, 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:55.720 and she recently launched her own production company. On top 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:59.559 of all of this incredible success, Lily released a book 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:03.640 of poet in twenty twenty titled Swimming Lessons, and her 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:08.079 book explores themes like young love, anxiety, depression, fame, heartbreak. 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.640 These are the kinds of things she's really heart forward 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:15.880 about discussing with her audience. She really welcomes folks in 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:21.160 to talk about everything from insecurity to body dysmorphia to depression. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:25.519 And I really think she is doing such an incredible 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:28.480 service to the world with the conversations that she chooses 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:31.960 to have and the tenderness with which she chooses to 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:34.880 have them. And I'm really excited for all of you 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:38.560 to hear today's conversation because that tenderness carries through this 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:39.680 episode as well. 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:50.240 Enjoy. 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:52.440 Well. 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:54.359 First of all, it was so much fun to get 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:55.400 to see you last. 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:58.840 Week of this. I just loved that me too. 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:03.520 Yeah, I've admired your work and the way that you 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:07.080 use your platform and the things that you choose to 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:09.240 talk about for such a long time, so I'm thrilled 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:09.840 you're here too. 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:14.960 Yeah, yeah, I was really happy. I days of events, 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:17.359 I kind of am always going why did I say 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:17.959 yes to this? 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:18.760 All day long? 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:23.480 Because I just I just have the social anxiety, so 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:26.800 I have to push, really push myself to leave my 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.040 house and go to those things. But yeah, but I'm 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:32.040 always I'm always usually happy that I do, and then 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:34.400 I'm there, so I always walk away. I'm like, okay, 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.400 it was like the fear of going was much worse 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:38.400 than the actual thing. 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:42.800 Yeah, the anticipatory anxiety is often worse for me than 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:48.600 the experiential anxiety. But it doesn't mean I don't have it. 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:50.760 I can try to talk myself out of it the 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:53.600 whole time, but yeah, it doesn't leave my body till 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:56.080 I get to the thing and I run into people 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:58.440 that I've been excited to meet or I see friends, 0:03:58.480 --> 0:03:59.960 and then I'm like, what was I so freaked? Out. 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:03.640 Wow. Yeah, it's thee I mean, there is like because 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.280 it's not just go to a party. It's like you're 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:11.560 hiring people and you're having to look good and like 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:15.960 get the freaking glam photo and make sure you are 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:20.720 in a social mood or whatever. And I don't know, 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:23.159 it's just it's not like going to a regular party. 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:26.719 There's just like it feels like work to me. Yeah, 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.800 so it's like, ultimately I'm going to work in a way. 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:33.080 Totally, it is absolutely work. And I also giggled because 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:35.400 I'd had to go to something. 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:37.000 Before and. 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:41.120 The thing I went to earlier to see some friends. 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:44.960 As I was leaving, I got caught in like one 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.839 of those moments of just la rain. So by the 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:51.320 time I got back across town to see all of 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:56.240 you guys, i'd gotten wet, I was in velvet. I 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.720 had like a cool hairtuk moment happening. Yeah, And then 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:01.279 by the the time I got to our event, I 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.880 looked at the photos and I was like cool, I 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:06.360 just looked like I gently electrocuted myself. 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:06.480 Oh. 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:10.320 It was like this moment where I was like, you 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.680 kind of just gotta let it go. Like I don't know, no, one. 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:15.360 No one would have ever known. 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:18.960 You're very sweet. But it was like this very funny 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:21.280 moment where I was like, am I gonna let the 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:25.239 fact that like I'm a Frisbell now make me go home? 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.360 Or am I just going to go see my pals? 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:28.839 And I was very bad that I came. 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:30.919 To see every You looked so lovely and there was 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:33.359 no one would have ever see, No one ever would know, 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:37.039 I never know, No one knows, right. I had to 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:40.440 have be like safety pinned, like the I did a 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:44.839 beauty con in November and the tailor accidentally took the 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.120 buttons off my sleeves, so we had to like safety 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:50.600 pin them, and who gives a shit? That's yeah, you know, 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:52.640 it's like a little bit like, oh this sucks, and 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:54.719 you're rushing out the door while it's happening and like 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:58.800 safety pitting things. But I've had some red carpet moments 0:05:58.880 --> 0:06:02.839 like that a few times, and that always is it 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:04.800 doesn't help the anxiety. 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:09.719 My best friend in college split her pants at a party. 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:11.919 We were really we were having a great night. It 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:15.000 turned into like a dance off moment. Everything was great, 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:19.719 and then she forgot how inflexible. Said pair of pants 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.400 was and split them, and I happened to have safety 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:26.360 pins in my bag because I was coming to this 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:29.760 thing from class, And ever since, I've always made sure 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.839 to carry a couple of safety pins in a clutch 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:33.839 when I go out to something, just in case it 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:37.039 happens to someone else. Yeah, Oh, I feel you on 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:38.240 the safety pinage there. 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:43.080 Yeah, I've definitely had an entire dress fully break, like 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.760 and it's like, what I mean some of these things, 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:48.839 I just I'm like, I got to give this over 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:52.720 to did God here, Like there's really nothing I can 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.320 do in this moment at the end of the day. 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:57.640 It's like a red carpet that no one but me 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:03.080 will like ever really remember totally. So yeah, stuff like 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.520 that where I'm like, actually, no one but me is 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:09.360 actually fully paying attention to like me in this moment, 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:11.600 If that makes sense. Maybe that's a stupid thing to 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.800 say when you have like fans who actually are very 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.480 much paying attention. But I guess I'm like, I'm going 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:18.280 to hold on to the things that go wrong and 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:20.920 no one else is going to really notice them exactly. 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:22.760 And if I look back, if I look bad on 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:25.840 a carpet, the only person that that's hurting is ultimately 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:26.240 and so. 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:30.080 One's really going to care. Yeah, but it doesn't lessen 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:38.120 the experience. But I'm so I love that we get 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:41.240 to talk about these things, honestly, because I feel like 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:45.120 when I started working in TV, nobody wanted to talk 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:48.320 about anxiety. Everyone was like, you're so privileged, how dare 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:51.200 you talk about stress or whatever? And it's like, I 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:54.000 actually think it's quite refreshing to know that everyone is human. 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:58.680 I'm really curious for you. I normally dive in with 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:02.520 this question, but we we started in the present. I 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:06.440 want to know a little bit about your childhood because 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:08.560 I think it's really interesting to sit down with people 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:13.080 who our audiences know generally from a body of work. 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:17.480 And I want to know if if your version of 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:21.280 yourself today got to sit down with your eight or 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:25.160 nine or ten year old self, would you see the 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:27.680 through line from what she was really interested to what 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:29.840 you do now? Did you always want to be a 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:33.960 performer or did this sort of all come out of 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:34.319 the ether? 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:39.080 No, it was really I think in my bones, and 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:42.240 I always think it was a little bit written in 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:46.480 the stars because I never had really a backup plan 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:50.280 and I never wanted one, and that's a bit hard 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:54.800 to tell your family who's never No one in my 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:58.880 family was in this field, and no one was arts 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:04.280 and to pursue it from Bay Village, Ohio. It was 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:07.960 just sort of a far off dream, seemingly so it 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:10.560 was a big, big dream for kind of a small 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:15.199 town and to have no connections. It was sort of like, Okay, sure, 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.720 dream big. And I was never told not to. But 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:24.200 I absolutely came into the world liking to entertain people 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:29.800 and be funny and goofy around my family, and weirdly though, 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:35.760 was shy and had social anxiety, like to the point 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.199 where when I was very young didn't want to go 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:40.679 to birthday parties. I didn't want to be I was 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:43.200 nervous to be around I guess the other kids, but 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.400 more so I think it was like nervousness to be 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:47.960 away from my mother. It was very attached to her. 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:54.400 But within my family and friends, I was always wanting 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:59.200 to perform and be silly, and I grew up making 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.360 videos on a camera for myself that I would show 0:10:02.440 --> 0:10:06.160 my family, forcing them to watch. You know, these probably 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:12.000 not very entertaining videos, but discovering windows movie maker when 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:15.199 I was thirteen or something and editing together my own 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.160 little movies and adding music to them and making my 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.640 sister do it with me, and every time my friends 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.320 came over, we would be like, let's make it. It 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.800 was like, let's make a video. And I think that 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:29.760 seems to be quite common with a lot of you know, actors. 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:34.599 I find did that as a kid, so that's it 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:38.800 seems to be kind of a common thing. But there 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:43.559 was definitely always that desire to perform and be creative. 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.440 And yeah, I mean if I sat down with my 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:51.040 little ten year old self, it would be it would 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:55.360 be like, yeah, I'm still you. I'm still this kind 0:10:55.400 --> 0:11:01.360 of shy, and it's interesting. I've grown up and I'm 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:05.120 not I don't love this, but like I've almost turned 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:08.160 into instead of like shy, I fear that sometimes it 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.320 can come off as more of like a Larry David 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:16.600 version of myself, where it's a little bit like, uh, 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:20.520 maybe I come off as a little cold because of 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:24.000 how introverted I am, Whereas I feel when I was 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.760 younger and I was introverted, it was like, oh, she's shy. 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:29.040 Like it's very easy to point to a kid who's 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:32.520 introverted and say, she's shy, and when you're older, especially 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:36.720 even in high school, maybe I was projecting. But I 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:40.600 think I maybe was seen as kind of a bitch 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:45.960 because I was shy, and because I was an actor 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.120 trying to be an actor in this small town. So 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:50.439 it kind of gave the illusion of Oh, who does 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.960 this girl think she is? And she's but I really 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:55.920 like I would try to put myself out there, but 0:11:56.040 --> 0:12:00.800 ultimately I was. I felt shy, but when people gave 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:03.640 me a chance, I would be excited and try to 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:07.760 be warm. But ultimately I think as I've gotten older, 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:12.200 I'm like, I've just soured with age, but I've just 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:14.920 kind of I guess I can come off a little 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:19.080 bit like a little Larry Larry David in me. I'm 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:22.840 like a twenty eight year old Larry David. Woman. 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:24.840 That's great. 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:29.079 There's things to work on, for sure. I mean it's 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:32.360 a little to hear. I was given that comparison the 0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:36.960 other day, and I was a bit like, oh is 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.679 this this am? I like, I love him and I 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:43.360 love kurby enthusiasm, but I'm like to be compared as 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:46.280 a human being to like a grouchy old man. I 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:51.880 don't know, but ultimately we'll grow from it and be like, Okay, 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.800 so we've maybe got to like work on the warming 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:59.840 up around around people seeming more warmth. 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:05.920 I also think there's a really odd thing to a 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:11.920 lot of fame so young. For sure, you know, I 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:17.080 would imagine for you, you know, you got cast on Riverdale 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:19.200 at nineteen, like. 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:21.160 I was. 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:24.400 I think i'd been twenty one for I don't know, 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:29.400 fifteen days or something when I got to Wilmington to 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:33.600 do One Tree Hill, Like your prefrontal cortex isn't done 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:37.400 developing until you're twenty six. Like it's a lot, you know. 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:40.240 I remember feeling like I could really prove that I 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:44.120 was an adult. And looking back on it, especially with 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.200 all of us girls going back to start rewatching the 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:47.200 show together. 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:48.160 That's fun. 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.760 We're so shocked. We're like, we were children. We were babies. 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.760 Who let us out of the house, who let us 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:56.360 do this, who put us on a set, who told 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:58.560 us to pretend we knew what we were doing so 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:01.920 we wouldn't embarrass ourselves. We were children. We should have 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:03.520 just been like, we have no idea what we're doing. 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:07.120 And I'm sure there was no essence of media training back. 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:09.720 Then oh no, I thought if someone asked you a question, 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:10.560 you had to answer it. 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:14.960 You were thrown to the wolves, and we like we 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:19.440 all are because no one ever, no one ever gives 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:22.600 you any sort of rule book, And when I think 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.440 maybe they should, it would have been helpful to have 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:28.320 like some basic outlines, but I guess you kind of 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.600 you're almost like, let me look to my elders, and 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:33.880 the people playing our parents on the show were happy 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:37.160 to give advice and stuff like that, but you really 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:41.240 are like trial by fire, yep, don't mess up. 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.080 And now a word from our sponsors who make the 0:14:44.160 --> 0:15:00.280 show possible. What was that like for you? Like, when 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:04.880 you think about that season of life, do you immediately 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.480 think about what the audition process was like? Do you 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:10.720 think about the kind of WHOA, what's happening moment when 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:13.080 the show is this huge hit and suddenly you have 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:16.560 all this on your shoulders? What kind of comes up there? 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:21.040 It's like a big deep breath to think about in 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:27.320 a way, wow, because it was seven years, and it 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:32.760 was from nineteen to twenty six, and I'm twenty eight 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:36.200 now and having time away from it, and I always 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:40.480 knew doing it is so hard and being in It 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:45.600 is really challenging to fully move and vacate your life 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.440 that I'm trying to start for myself in la And 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:50.640 I remember not even knowing that the show filmed in 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.240 Vancouver until I was on the phone with my lawyer 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.480 and he's saying, those shoots in Vancouver, and I din't 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.480 was like, where is that? So it was a I 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:05.760 don't think I'd ever even been through Canada, So it 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:11.720 was it was just this pick yourself up out of 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:15.360 this chapter of your life and PLoP you down here 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.120 and figure it out. And it is kind of figured out. 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.840 And I think people expect people are always shocked. They're like, 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:24.600 where did you stay? Like where were they putting you up? 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:26.600 And it's like, no, you relocate your life. 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.960 Yeah, they don't put you up. They don't know. They 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:31.080 don't pay for anything. 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:34.080 They don't pay for anything. They'll give you a relocation 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:38.800 fee and that lasts. Yeah, that's last. 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:42.520 Day, and yeah that gets you your first plane ticket 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:45.040 and maybe if you're lucky, you get to ship your car. 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.600 I shipped my car to Washington and then I drove 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:52.600 it over the border. But I also like at the time, 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:56.160 I remember having to tell my publicist I was like, 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:59.720 I actually can't afford you at all? Can we can you? 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:02.640 Maybe you just can I pay you once I get paid. 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:05.960 And it's sort of like this. It wasn't awkward for 0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:07.879 me to talk about money, but I didn't, you know. 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.600 I was like, I've never made money like this before, 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:14.679 and I don't have I don't know I had. Maybe 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:16.639 I don't know how much money I had in my 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.240 bank account. Not a lot, but I because I had 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:23.360 been acting since I was twelve, but like not making money, 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:28.080 so it was I don't have the means to be 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:34.600 shilling out now thousands of dollars for a publisherally, and 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:36.800 no one really tells you how to deal with that 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:40.240 as well, when you're making money so young and given 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:46.119 that responsibility, that was also trippy weird. It's a weird 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:52.919 thing to move very quickly from struggling financially to being 0:17:53.200 --> 0:18:01.240 the most financially secure person around you. Yeah, it's a 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:04.080 bit of a shift, I think, mentally for a young 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:08.719 person in their twenties. And luckily I'm very responsible with money, 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:13.679 but it is a weird shift. But I think it 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:17.320 was more so for me kind of having to move 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.800 my whole life to a different country, and yes it 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:23.280 was Canada, so we're not moving somewhere crazy far away. 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:28.120 It's a three hour flight to la but ultimately finding 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:32.919 a new apartment, settling the life there. And then that 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:36.440 extends to seven years and it is I look back 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:44.359 really fondly, working with wonderful people that I love really 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:47.040 dearly and will always hold such a I mean, you know, 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:49.480 like you just had a special place in your heart 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:52.639 for these people that you were on this journey with that. 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:55.600 So few people understand what it's like to just be 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:59.000 a part of a television show, and so I understand 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:01.240 the privilege in that, like, wow, I'm so lucky I 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:06.400 have that experience, because I think it's rare and it's 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:08.640 wonderful to be on a show for seven years. It's 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:11.800 like a blessing and and I look at it as 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:15.920 such absolutely, and although it was hard and had its challenges, 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:19.120 I really do see it as it's the reason why 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:24.080 I'm sitting in my house and it's I'm you know, 0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.440 was able to then have a production company and do 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:29.920 everything else that I did. It was a catalyst for 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:35.119 my whole career, and so yeah, it absolutely changed my 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.160 life and was the biggest pivotal moment in my career 0:19:38.200 --> 0:19:38.640 thus far. 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:43.520 So totally yeah, And I think it can be all 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.560 of those things. You know. It can be something you're 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:49.439 so grateful for. It can be something that was incredibly trying. 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:54.200 I think, you know, like my heart just swells hearing 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:57.640 you talk, because I know what it is to love 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:01.159 a group of people and also to be completely isolated 0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:03.959 and in some senses trapped with a group of people 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:08.040 because you do. It's it's sort of like my girlfriend 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:11.240 and I were talking about this the other day. She 0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:14.240 was in La visiting and we hadn't seen each other 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:16.359 in a while. I just realized, I'm saying this. I 0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:18.119 mean one of my girlfriend's from my show, not like 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:22.240 my girlfriend, like my romantic party. Must clarify for the audience. 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:25.359 They're gonna be like, oh, is she talking about girlfriend? Yes, 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:28.239 platonic girlfriend. And and you know, she was out from 0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:29.879 the East Coast and we were just talking about some 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.440 things and I said, I said, I have this really 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:40.040 crazy kind of visual. It's like when you see those 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:43.560 videos of bald eagles plucking salmon up out of the 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:46.560 river and it's so majestic, but it's like it's like 0:20:46.960 --> 0:20:49.200 eagles pluck you out of your life and then they 0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:51.440 just drop you in a nest and you're like, where 0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:54.720 am I? Where is water? What is this? And you 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:58.040 know everyone's like, aren't you so excited? And you're like, yes, 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:02.320 but also I think I'm terrified. Yeah, and it's so surreal, 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:02.800 so I. 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:06.520 Really And then add having a Twitter a having a 0:21:06.560 --> 0:21:10.760 Twitter into that equation, I really not And it's or 0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:15.040 any form of social media, and it's horrible. It's way 0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:23.040 way scarier just because no one. There's just no one 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:26.439 to tell you that you're about to be hated on 0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:34.359 so hard just existing and what the fuck do you 0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:34.920 do with that? 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:39.879 You know, it's it's a really weird thing because we 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:43.040 didn't have that when our show first started. But what 0:21:43.200 --> 0:21:47.960 existed in the vacuum were the tabloids and they're still around, 0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:52.960 but they can't completely create a narrative of who you are, 0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:55.320 because you get to be who you are in whatever 0:21:55.359 --> 0:21:57.560 way you choose to. I'm social. 0:21:57.920 --> 0:21:58.560 Yeah. 0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:03.040 One of the really interesting things for us was like, oh, 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:06.240 we're all just going to be cast as these archetypes 0:22:06.320 --> 0:22:07.919 and then that's who you're going to want us to be, 0:22:08.640 --> 0:22:12.600 by the way, forever, not even when it doesn't really 0:22:12.640 --> 0:22:14.680 even get to change when we can have our own 0:22:14.720 --> 0:22:17.959 social media because you made so much money clickbaiting us 0:22:18.000 --> 0:22:21.800 as these people, yeah, for ten years before it existed, 0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:25.760 that you're desperate for more of it. And that's an 0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:29.240 interesting thing too, because, like Hillary always used to say that, 0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:32.159 she's like, dude, the behind the scenes drama on our 0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:35.600 show is so extra, like literally, I don't know how 0:22:35.800 --> 0:22:38.439 true this is for yours, but like everyone on our 0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:40.720 show dated everyone on our show, And she's like, thanks 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:43.119 for taking the tabloid bullets for the rest of us, babe, 0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:44.520 And I'm like, yeah, then thanks. 0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:48.000 You and you yeah, yeah, I mean yeah now. 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:49.479 Because it's like we're kids, and what are you going 0:22:49.520 --> 0:22:51.600 to do? It's like it's literally they put you back 0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:52.320 in high school. 0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:54.480 Yeah. 0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:57.159 I would watch some of the things I would just 0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:02.280 see because we're all online about you guys and your world, 0:23:02.320 --> 0:23:04.320 and I was like, God, I love so much of 0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:07.560 what you're getting to do and the ways you're at 0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:11.960 least appeared, you know, these incredibly strong female friendships. And 0:23:12.000 --> 0:23:15.320 I would kind of see the desire for people to 0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:19.240 clickbait your lives. And I don't know if you want 0:23:19.280 --> 0:23:20.880