WEBVTT - Friends to Lovers with Sophia Bush

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everyone, It's Sophia Bush, host of the podcast Work

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<v Speaker 1>in Progress. I started Work in Progress because I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>curious person, and I realized there are so many people

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<v Speaker 1>I get to speak to that are fascinating and rare,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I thought, why not take these conversations out

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<v Speaker 1>into the world. You can join us and listen to

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<v Speaker 1>Work in Progress on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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<v Speaker 1>wherever you listen to podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Catherine, Oh hello, Jelsey. Hi, I'm fresh off the boat.

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<v Speaker 2>Fresh out the boat from Greece.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, you're even wearing a Chloe White shirt.

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<v Speaker 2>Like headed back to Europe as soon as we get

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<v Speaker 2>we were done with this, I'm going back. No, we

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<v Speaker 2>actually did take a boat to Greece. We took a

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<v Speaker 2>ferry boat from Athens to Paros, which was like three

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<v Speaker 2>and a half hours. Oh yeah, So, and then I

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<v Speaker 2>took the flight back. I took a flight from Paros

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<v Speaker 2>to Athens, and so I can't decide which one was

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<v Speaker 2>more unpleasant, the flight or the boat.

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<v Speaker 3>Was the flight bumpy?

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<v Speaker 2>No, it was just the airport. You know when there're

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<v Speaker 2>those little, small, tiny airports and there's like a line

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<v Speaker 2>and it takes like an hour to check in and

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<v Speaker 2>there's nobody really there. It was just one of those.

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<v Speaker 2>It was fine, we got there safely. I think that's

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<v Speaker 2>probably the most important thing, but I'm not positive. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not positive that's the most important thing, but I think

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<v Speaker 2>it might be the most important thing. I announced three dates.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing three more stand up dates to close out

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<v Speaker 2>the year because I decided that I wanted to spread

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit more of joy and sunshine around this country.

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<v Speaker 2>Since you know, things are in such a good place.

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<v Speaker 3>We need a little escapism.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, So aside from my Vegas residency, my next date

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<v Speaker 2>is July fifth, I'll be in Vegas, everybody, so hopefully

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<v Speaker 2>you'll be joining me there. I'm going to do West

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<v Speaker 2>Hampton Beach, New York on August twenty first. Then I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to headline the Fringe, a festival in Rochester, New

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<v Speaker 2>York on September third, and then I'm going to be

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<v Speaker 2>in Napa, California on October third. So I'm just adding

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<v Speaker 2>those three dates. It's it's not like a tour. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just doing some stand up to round out the year.

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<v Speaker 2>So I hope you get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's fresh material, right.

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<v Speaker 2>It's all new material. It's all a lot of LSD

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<v Speaker 2>in there, a lot of stuff that we've touched upon

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<v Speaker 2>on the show, and a lot of me smuggling LSD

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<v Speaker 2>from country to country. Basically, I've just started leaving stashues

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<v Speaker 2>in different countries that I visit so that I don't

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<v Speaker 2>have to keep continue traveling with it. Now that I'm

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<v Speaker 2>talking about it so publicly on stage. I mean I've

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<v Speaker 2>always talked about it publicly, but on stage specifically, I'm like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I better stop talking about it and also continuing to

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<v Speaker 2>carry it with you.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, traveling with it is not that's.

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<v Speaker 2>The That's probably not the best idea.

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<v Speaker 3>It's is going to be there waiting for you when

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<v Speaker 3>you get there. That's perfect.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, yes, So I'm assuming that at some point

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<v Speaker 2>I'll be on some sort of list that will prevent

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<v Speaker 2>me from returning to my homeland. I'm just making that assumption.

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<v Speaker 2>But I've been to so many countries already and it's

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<v Speaker 2>only June. I'm so excited. But I'm getting surgery when

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<v Speaker 2>I get back on July seventh. I'm getting foot surgery

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<v Speaker 2>on my little bunyan net I'm calling it a bunyan

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<v Speaker 2>net because it makes it sound cuter.

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<v Speaker 3>It's much cuter. Did your ear little toast spacers didn't

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<v Speaker 3>do the trick?

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<v Speaker 2>Now, the toast spacers probably would work if you're like

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<v Speaker 2>twenty and you're really trying to nip it in the bud.

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<v Speaker 2>I bet those are helpful. But I'm fifty and mine

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<v Speaker 2>isn't on the inside of my foot. It's on the

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<v Speaker 2>outside of my foot. I think it's related to my

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<v Speaker 2>knee injury because I like lean a certain way on

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<v Speaker 2>one leg, so I just can't look at it like that,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, and so I have to remove it. And

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<v Speaker 2>it's apparently a little bit of a hectic recovery. But

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<v Speaker 2>we'll see, we'll see. I like recoveries.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you get to like take a bunch of fun

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<v Speaker 3>drugs and like chill it home. Yeah, unless I'm making

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<v Speaker 3>you work, because I'm like, you want to just schedule

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<v Speaker 3>a bunch of podcasts while you're well.

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<v Speaker 2>Ideally that would be me walking downstairs. But apparently my

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<v Speaker 2>house will not be ready. For the fiftieth time in

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<v Speaker 2>my life, my house is not ready for move in.

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<v Speaker 2>I just got that news. It did not go over well,

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<v Speaker 2>but we are in the home stretch.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm being told, Oh, I'm very happy to hear that

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<v Speaker 3>for you.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, Cheles. It's really tough to be displaced for

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<v Speaker 2>that long, and the gross and competence of it all

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<v Speaker 2>is just mind boggling. I know, it's unreal. I can't

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<v Speaker 2>believe it. I can't. I mean, I can't believe I'm

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<v Speaker 2>even still talking about it. It's just absolutely absurd. My

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<v Speaker 2>family's like, why don't you talk to a therapist? I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>about my house? You want me to talk to a

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<v Speaker 2>therapist about my house? I did, actually a year ago.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a conversation. It should I have the same

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<v Speaker 2>fucking conversation I had one year ago. For some reason,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so resentful every time something happens with a house.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so angry towards my family. Like I'm like, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>always the one who's getting everybody out of bad situations.

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<v Speaker 2>Yet here I am, and no one's getting me out

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<v Speaker 2>of this situation. I keep waiting for someone to come

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<v Speaker 2>and rescue me, but oh my god, no one's rescuing me.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, if anyone out there has advice on how

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<v Speaker 3>to get RFK Judu out of a home. Have you

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<v Speaker 3>tried a priest?

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<v Speaker 2>I I haven't tried an exorcism, but I did have

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<v Speaker 2>a healer and like a house cleanser come by that

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<v Speaker 2>obviously didn't take. And I'm now in a lawsuit with

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<v Speaker 2>my prior contractor. So it's just just the hitscheets on coming.

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<v Speaker 2>But listen, you know what, It's just a house, and

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<v Speaker 2>I have other homes, and obviously I don't I don't whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't complain about my life, so I won't continue to.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you know what, pretty soon you'll be out of

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<v Speaker 3>the country anyway, and you'll have to be in Canada

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<v Speaker 3>or Spain, so it'll you know, it'll just come on

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<v Speaker 3>the wash, right.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm heading out here from as soon as we

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<v Speaker 2>get off today, I'm going up to Boston. I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>record mel Robins's podcast tomorrow morning. Nice nice, uh huh.

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<v Speaker 2>And they gave me instructions, specific instructions not to arrive

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<v Speaker 2>early because there's no waiting room. Well that's delightful, thank

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<v Speaker 2>you for that warm, warm welcome.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the worst thing they can say to a person

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<v Speaker 3>who's always early.

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<v Speaker 2>God, yeah, I know exactly who's our guest this week?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, our guest this week is your buddy, Sophia Bush.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh Bush, She's a bush lover. Sophia Bush Lover is

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<v Speaker 2>our guest this week. This week, I was gonna say

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<v Speaker 2>this weekend, I'm already in Glastonbury in my head. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>Sophia Bush. Oh, this is a great interview. I'm excited.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes. And her new movie The Stranger in My Home

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<v Speaker 3>is out now on video on demand.

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<v Speaker 2>Love it. Hi guys, Oh baby, it's your baby. Hi, baby,

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<v Speaker 2>baby baby, Hi. Videyback ribs.

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<v Speaker 4>How are you and good?

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<v Speaker 2>What are you doing?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, just getting ready to talk to you. I've

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<v Speaker 2>been seeing a lot of you. Actually, we've been seeing

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of each other.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, well, not as much as I would like, but

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<v Speaker 1>it has been fun to do well.

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<v Speaker 2>It's never enough. It's never enough. Congrats on your interview

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<v Speaker 2>with Michelle Obama on Sophia's podcast Work in Progress. She

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<v Speaker 2>did a two part episode with Michelle Obama that was

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<v Speaker 2>all over the place and it was a fucking great interview.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so much fun. It's like hanging with her for

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<v Speaker 1>that section of time, you know, felt a lot like

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<v Speaker 1>when we all get together, like it's it's crazy to

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<v Speaker 1>you know, look up to someone like her for so long,

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<v Speaker 1>and to watch the way she navigates the global stage

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<v Speaker 1>and then to like hang out and wish you had

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<v Speaker 1>a cocktail to shoot the shit. I was like, God,

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<v Speaker 1>the world must forget that you're also just this wonderful human.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't always have to be like a leader or

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<v Speaker 1>a figurehead. She's funny and sassy and has such great

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<v Speaker 1>advice about life and love and parenting and all the things,

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<v Speaker 1>and it was really cool.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean I think she does. It's so annoying

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<v Speaker 2>when everybody always, like, you know, I'm in Canada, Everyone's like,

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<v Speaker 2>why can't Michelle Obama run? I'm like, Michelle Obama doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>want to be the fucking president of the United States.

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<v Speaker 2>She didn't want anything to do with it the first

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<v Speaker 2>eight years, like as if it's her responsibility to run.

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<v Speaker 2>And I always just think about how annoying that must

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<v Speaker 2>be for her to constantly hear that, as if it's

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<v Speaker 2>that simple, you know, as if she's just supposed to

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<v Speaker 2>give away the next eight years of her life.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I think people don't understand what a service is required

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<v Speaker 1>to be in public office, like any sort of real

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<v Speaker 1>political organizing takes so much work, and you certainly can

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<v Speaker 1>become a target for things. You have to give up

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of things when you run for office. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like it's not a one plus one equals two situation.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like to the power of fifty. Everything is amplified

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<v Speaker 1>and enlarged, and at the same time your life really shrinks.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think people I don't know, probably because the

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<v Speaker 1>internet's full of trolls who say shitty things that travel

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<v Speaker 1>very far. But people are like, oh, yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>they're doing it for the money or the exposure. And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, they don't make any money and they literally

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<v Speaker 1>can't go outside, like like she can't go for a

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<v Speaker 1>walk anymore without guards. So everybody take it just relax.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's like she's really kind of, you know, since

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<v Speaker 2>she left office, also really letting her hair down and

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<v Speaker 2>being more of herself to the public and yeah, which

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<v Speaker 2>is really you know, she doesn't have to do that either.

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<v Speaker 2>She doesn't have to like bother with at the public.

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<v Speaker 2>She doesn't have to do anything. But when I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>that's just how devoted they are to public service, is

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<v Speaker 2>that they all are over you know, they're always involved.

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<v Speaker 1>I think so and I really think it's also something

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<v Speaker 1>when you have to bite your tongue for so long,

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<v Speaker 1>when you have to put your you know, sort of

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<v Speaker 1>professionalism or decorum first. I think, yes, decorum is something

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<v Speaker 1>we should aspire to have, especially in public life. I

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<v Speaker 1>think they are people of incredible class and integrity, and

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<v Speaker 1>I think eventually it gets really tiresome to always have

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<v Speaker 1>to be quiet or be perfect or whatever. And She's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like, guys, I'm also just a lady and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna have cocktails with my girlfriends, i want to

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<v Speaker 1>go play tennis. My kids are out of the house.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna go visit them, and then I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy my life like this.

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<v Speaker 5>Is my time.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think, I know, that's such an exciting example

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<v Speaker 1>for me to see among my friends. Imagine the power

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<v Speaker 1>that you know, a former first lady has to do that,

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<v Speaker 1>let alone one with like Princeton and Harvard degrees. Who

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, she's just like the coolest person.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she really is the coolest person. Let's talk about

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<v Speaker 2>your cool person. Tell me how that feels to be

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<v Speaker 2>a hot considered a hot lesbian.

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<v Speaker 1>Quite an honor. I mean, you know what's funny is

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<v Speaker 1>you do this weird math like if you're dating, if

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<v Speaker 1>you're a woman dating men, nobody wants to talk to

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<v Speaker 1>you about your sexuality. They just want to either say

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<v Speaker 1>like you're a prude or a slot. You know, if

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<v Speaker 1>you date too much, they criticize you. If you don't date,

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<v Speaker 1>you must be frigid, whatever. And then the thing that

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<v Speaker 1>gets added when you're actually more fluid with your sexuality

0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.560
<v Speaker 1>is the swing goes from nobody gives a shit who

0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.760
<v Speaker 1>you're sleeping with too. You better identify exactly who you

0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:56.800
<v Speaker 1>are so we can figure out what name to call you.

0:10:56.840 --> 0:11:00.560
<v Speaker 1>And it's like okay, And you know, I sort of

0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:02.360
<v Speaker 1>looked around and was like, has nobody been paying attention

0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:04.240
<v Speaker 1>to like all the hot girls I've been kissing on

0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:07.599
<v Speaker 1>camera and like, you know, maybe not in front of

0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:10.720
<v Speaker 1>you off camera, but Hi, I've always been here.

0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.120
<v Speaker 2>Right, But let's talk about that a little because that's

0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:16.040
<v Speaker 2>that seems to be the kind of calculus or the

0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:19.680
<v Speaker 2>consensus now that we have some retrospection of the election,

0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:23.360
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, and people are talking about the identity politics

0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:25.000
<v Speaker 2>of the left, and I know you talk a lot,

0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, we both talk a lot politically together and

0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, without each other what is your view on

0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:33.240
<v Speaker 2>that of us focusing so much? Because my view is like,

0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:35.520
<v Speaker 2>when we say, oh, you guys focused too much on

0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.079
<v Speaker 2>the trans issue, you guys were too inclusive. It didn't

0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:41.120
<v Speaker 2>have to be like that big of an issue, and

0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.040
<v Speaker 2>it was like, well, but trans people were starting to

0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:47.520
<v Speaker 2>have problems with other people and there were lawsuits and

0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:49.800
<v Speaker 2>somebody has to get on the side of that, like

0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.000
<v Speaker 2>on the right side of things. So it wasn't like

0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.800
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't like liberals were like, oh my god, what's

0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:57.160
<v Speaker 2>another issue we can tackle that's going to be really

0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:01.520
<v Speaker 2>exclusionary to white supremacis. Oh, trans people will go be

0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:05.000
<v Speaker 2>with them. That's not how it happened. Now, how do

0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:08.120
<v Speaker 2>you think about when you reflect about that issue and

0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:13.280
<v Speaker 2>LGBTQ rights issues and the left being too focused on that.

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.120
<v Speaker 2>In many people's opinions, I.

0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Think it's all just such bullshit, Chelsea. Honestly, it's like,

0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.680
<v Speaker 1>what do you mean, we're too focused on being nice

0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:25.520
<v Speaker 1>to people? What the fuck are you talking about? And

0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:29.200
<v Speaker 1>we're not too focused. To be clear, the Trump campaign

0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:32.199
<v Speaker 1>spent something like it was either twenty seven million or

0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:35.640
<v Speaker 1>fifty seven million dollars on those ads that were like

0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:40.559
<v Speaker 1>she's for they them, and I'm for you, Like, ew,

0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:45.280
<v Speaker 1>you fucking creepy sexual predator, stop talking about people's genitalia.

0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:48.920
<v Speaker 1>They they have outsized an issue.

0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:50.520
<v Speaker 5>In a way that makes me so sad.

0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:53.559
<v Speaker 1>You know, just this week they're ranting on Fox News

0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 1>about like, oh, you know, all the athletes are trans,

0:12:56.840 --> 0:13:00.560
<v Speaker 1>and it's like there are less than ten trans athletes

0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:05.480
<v Speaker 1>out of five hundred and ten thousand athletes in the

0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:09.920
<v Speaker 1>NC DOUBLEA leave these people alone. Like to be the

0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:14.480
<v Speaker 1>smallest and most vulnerable group in the world and to

0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:18.760
<v Speaker 1>constantly have people project all their shit and fear and

0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:22.679
<v Speaker 1>anger at you, It's it's not only traumatizing for people,

0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:26.760
<v Speaker 1>it's so dangerous. And when you start seeing these these

0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:31.360
<v Speaker 1>rollbacks of protections, you know, homosexuality being criminalized in Trinidad

0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:35.439
<v Speaker 1>and Tobago this year, when you see right wingers literally

0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:40.120
<v Speaker 1>trying to encourage the Supreme Court to overturn marriage equality, Like,

0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.800
<v Speaker 1>let me be clear, I've tried that with some dudes

0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:44.960
<v Speaker 1>who turned out not to be great. I deserve to

0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.360
<v Speaker 1>try to just to be just as miserable with any

0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:50.200
<v Speaker 1>fucking woman of my choosing as I was in my past.

0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.280
<v Speaker 1>Like what you think the lesbians don't deserve to be

0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:56.440
<v Speaker 1>as unhappy as you all, like shut up, and it's

0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:00.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, joking aside. It's like a right. It doesn't

0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.760
<v Speaker 1>matter if it's not a right for everyone, because then

0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.480
<v Speaker 1>you're not concerned with freedom. This is something Tim Wallace

0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.760
<v Speaker 1>says a lot. He goes, you know, you can't say

0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:12.880
<v Speaker 1>you're concerned with freedom and then try to deny freedoms

0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:16.520
<v Speaker 1>for people, then what you really want is privilege, and

0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 1>like for what, And I don't know why the right

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:25.600
<v Speaker 1>has been able to so effectively weaponize the idea that

0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 1>a quality is somehow an attack, Like it's not, guys,

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.040
<v Speaker 1>I hate to tell you you, maga folks, nobody's thinking

0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.360
<v Speaker 1>about you that much. We're all just trying to like

0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.720
<v Speaker 1>raise our kids and pay our bills and do our shit.

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:41.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't care whose marriage makes you uncomfortable. Don't be

0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:43.200
<v Speaker 1>in a marriage that makes you uncomfortable, and move along

0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.400
<v Speaker 1>with your day. Same for people's healthcare, same for how

0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:49.320
<v Speaker 1>people live. Like, maybe if you stop running around with

0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:53.560
<v Speaker 1>baseball bats, attacking people antiki torches and beating up cops,

0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.360
<v Speaker 1>like you could just live peacefully in whatever weird way

0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:01.200
<v Speaker 1>you want to live, Like we're they're living well and

0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:05.000
<v Speaker 1>kindly like back off. I just don't. I don't want

0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.239
<v Speaker 1>to fall into the trap that we're supposed to abandon

0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:11.520
<v Speaker 1>people to somehow seem more neutral, Like neutrality never got

0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:12.880
<v Speaker 1>anybody anywhere.

0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.440
<v Speaker 2>That's true. How do you feel about everything?

0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:15.720
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:20.560
<v Speaker 2>What are you? What's your state of mind right now? Politically? I?

0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:30.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh, man, I think things are very bad, and I

0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:34.800
<v Speaker 1>think they're moving in such a terrible direction at such

0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:37.440
<v Speaker 1>speed that in a way, a lot of people are

0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:39.520
<v Speaker 1>looking around going look, I know it's a lot of noise,

0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:42.080
<v Speaker 1>but nothing's really happening. And I'm like, you don't get

0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.080
<v Speaker 1>where you're going to be in eighteen months, Like if

0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:49.600
<v Speaker 1>as retribution because Gavin Newsom won't kiss the ring, Donald

0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:53.320
<v Speaker 1>Trump clearcuts all of California's forests, Like do you understand

0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 1>what that's going to do? Not just to California, to

0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:59.240
<v Speaker 1>the nation. You know, this guy wanted to crash the

0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 1>stock markets. His friends could make hundreds of billions of

0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.600
<v Speaker 1>dollars and he said so in the Oval Office and

0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.840
<v Speaker 1>bragged about it, and you know, pointed out how many

0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:08.400
<v Speaker 1>billions they all made when he went JK, no tariffs.

0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.000
<v Speaker 1>It's like I just want to know, honestly, how Martha

0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:12.600
<v Speaker 1>Stewart feels about it. I'm like, bitch, you went to

0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:15.080
<v Speaker 1>prison for so much less, Like how are you doing

0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.720
<v Speaker 1>in Bedford? Are you mad? Are you getting stoned? Are

0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:18.320
<v Speaker 1>you laughing?

0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:18.680
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:24.040
<v Speaker 1>What is going on here? It's it's so crazy And

0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:29.560
<v Speaker 1>what's coming? You know, the the RFK at you know HHS,

0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:34.560
<v Speaker 1>and the dismantling of lead protection teams at the CDC,

0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:38.680
<v Speaker 1>and like, I mean, it's about to get like so bad.

0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:42.080
<v Speaker 2>And what would be the motivation for them poisoning people?

0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.880
<v Speaker 2>Because that's effectively what they're doing by dismantling these agencies,

0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.680
<v Speaker 2>Like people are going to get sick and die. What

0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:52.600
<v Speaker 2>would be the advantage? What would their mo be going

0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:53.000
<v Speaker 2>into that?

0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:55.800
<v Speaker 1>They want everybody to get sick and die, Chelsea. And

0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:58.240
<v Speaker 1>I know that might sound crazy, but you're not trying

0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:03.280
<v Speaker 1>to defund Medicare if you don't want people to die,

0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:05.959
<v Speaker 1>because dead people are less expensive to take care of.

0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.159
<v Speaker 1>They don't care. These are people who have, you know,

0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:13.840
<v Speaker 1>the fifty thousand dollars a year concierge doctor who flies

0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.240
<v Speaker 1>to them. These are people who who have now the

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:20.639
<v Speaker 1>whole White House medical apparatus. Serving as their own personal dispensary.

0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:22.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you saw that writer's article about

0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.400
<v Speaker 1>how during the last Trump administration they were handing out

0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:30.119
<v Speaker 1>like I mean, amphetamines, opioids, like they were just prescribing

0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:31.879
<v Speaker 1>shit to people who worked in the White House like

0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:35.040
<v Speaker 1>willy nilly. They're going to get what they need, just

0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.600
<v Speaker 1>like any mistress of Donald Trump who's ever been pregnant

0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.440
<v Speaker 1>that he's wanted to have an abortion has had one allegedly,

0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:45.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, allegedly allegedly. I'm like, I'm not about to

0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:47.840
<v Speaker 1>get sued for calling an adjudicated rapist or rapist like

0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:51.920
<v Speaker 1>what a ridiculous man he is and clearly a tyrant.

0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.320
<v Speaker 1>But they're going to get what they need. They just

0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:57.840
<v Speaker 1>don't care. They don't care if your you know, elderly

0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:02.080
<v Speaker 1>grandparent doesn't get their Social Security check because if they did,

0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:05.560
<v Speaker 1>they wouldn't be Supposedly, this hit the news last week,

0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:09.679
<v Speaker 1>moving all the comms for Social Security onto Twitter, like

0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:13.080
<v Speaker 1>what what eighty year olds know how to use x

0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:18.000
<v Speaker 1>dot com? Like the shock and awe is the goal,

0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:21.440
<v Speaker 1>And you see it in the way that they behave,

0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:24.560
<v Speaker 1>in what they're doing and in how they talk about people. Right,

0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:29.119
<v Speaker 1>Like you see the way Donald Trump loves Putin, He

0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:32.240
<v Speaker 1>loves dictators. He says, you know, oh yeah, the dictator

0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.600
<v Speaker 1>of North Korea is people all really bowed to him,

0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:37.320
<v Speaker 1>they really respect him. I want that. And then you've

0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:42.359
<v Speaker 1>got JD. Vance using absolutely derogatory language, not only to

0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:45.480
<v Speaker 1>insult our allies in Europe and you know, on the

0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:49.240
<v Speaker 1>base in Greenland, but talking about China and saying, quote,

0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:53.199
<v Speaker 1>these Chinese peasants and he says the word it's like

0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:57.919
<v Speaker 1>dripping with judgment. They want to create a peasant class

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.000
<v Speaker 1>and an oligarchy in America so we can't ever get

0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:04.880
<v Speaker 1>out from under it. Like they love this shit. They're

0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:10.520
<v Speaker 1>like they're horny for oligarchs and kleptocrats, like they want

0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:11.160
<v Speaker 1>to be that.

0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:14.920
<v Speaker 5>And it's interesting now that.

0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 1>You sort of see a lot of people go, WHOA.

0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:20.040
<v Speaker 1>I thought maybe the federal government was too big, maybe

0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:22.639
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't efficient, But I didn't realize what they did.

0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:25.639
<v Speaker 1>I didn't realize what their programs ran. I didn't realize

0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:27.320
<v Speaker 1>how much of my life they took care of. And

0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.480
<v Speaker 1>it's like, well, yeah, you didn't realize it. Because Mitch

0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.960
<v Speaker 1>McConnell made it his mission over forty years ago to

0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:35.199
<v Speaker 1>defund education in America because they started to see that

0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:36.720
<v Speaker 1>uneducated people.

0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:37.720
<v Speaker 2>Vote for them, and that's it.

0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:41.560
<v Speaker 1>And I don't say that to judge people, Like it's

0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:44.680
<v Speaker 1>hard to get a good education because they've made it hard.

0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:48.960
<v Speaker 1>They make having an intellect seem like it's elitist. And

0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:52.280
<v Speaker 1>it's like, that's the whole reason my great grandparents came

0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:54.359
<v Speaker 1>here for a better life and to be like, we

0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:57.399
<v Speaker 1>want to pursue the American education system. We want to

0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:00.880
<v Speaker 1>give that to our children, Like my family built a great, big,

0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:05.480
<v Speaker 1>beautiful American dream life for that. So when you start

0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:08.560
<v Speaker 1>to really peel the layers back, and I think see

0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:14.560
<v Speaker 1>that these folks have tried to tarnish everything that actually

0:20:14.600 --> 0:20:19.879
<v Speaker 1>makes America any word you want to fill in the blank, great, exceptional, special,

0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:23.840
<v Speaker 1>something worth fighting for. They want to break it down

0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:25.679
<v Speaker 1>and sell it for parts. And once you start to

0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 1>look at these guys like a bunch of used car salesmen,

0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:30.399
<v Speaker 1>I think it gets easier to understand why they behave

0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:32.239
<v Speaker 1>the way they behave, and also why their suits are

0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:32.640
<v Speaker 1>so bad.

0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:36.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh, the suits are the worst. Oh, there's nothing grosser

0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:39.800
<v Speaker 2>than seeing him in a suit. Honestly, all of them,

0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:43.600
<v Speaker 2>all of them. They're also physically part of the part

0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:46.560
<v Speaker 2>of the stipulation of being a member of that administration

0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:50.480
<v Speaker 2>is being physically repugnant. Yeah, that is a number one.

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.080
<v Speaker 3>Isn't it funny? How like all the bad guys look

0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:56.320
<v Speaker 3>disgusting like bad guys, like in a like villains.

0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:59.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because what you are on the inside starts to

0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:01.800
<v Speaker 1>come out. It's like Mitch McConnell's neck has been trying

0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:03.880
<v Speaker 1>to swallow his head for the last twenty years. Even

0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:04.840
<v Speaker 1>his body is like we.

0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Gotta go, and brain is gone. It's his head is

0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:11.480
<v Speaker 2>unfortunately still there, sadly, but it's like, you.

0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:14.520
<v Speaker 1>Know, I wonder what it must be like. Maybe they

0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:16.320
<v Speaker 1>like it. Maybe it's the same kind of thing that

0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:18.960
<v Speaker 1>they get off on a little bit that they're a

0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:20.800
<v Speaker 1>group of people that when they walk in the room,

0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:25.160
<v Speaker 1>all the women cover their drinks, like just instinctively. You're like, oh, oh,

0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:27.440
<v Speaker 1>the roofie patrol is here, and it's like.

0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:29.480
<v Speaker 5>This is our best and brightest.

0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:33.639
<v Speaker 1>Really, just because people couldn't vote for the lady, just

0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:36.160
<v Speaker 1>because they were like, oh my god, if gay people

0:21:36.240 --> 0:21:39.320
<v Speaker 1>aren't getting assaulted or trans people aren't hiding, do I

0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:42.800
<v Speaker 1>have any power, Like, what that's your metric? Come on?

0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:45.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, on that note, we're gonna take a break and

0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:52.480
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna be right back with Sophia Bush. And we're

0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:55.760
<v Speaker 2>back with Sophia Bush, who has the Wonderful Podcast a

0:21:55.840 --> 0:21:58.360
<v Speaker 2>work in progress, and she also has a film coming

0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:00.720
<v Speaker 2>out called The Stranger in My Hall, which is an

0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:05.679
<v Speaker 2>adaptation of a Dell Park's novel. Okay, Sophia, we're going

0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:08.440
<v Speaker 2>to give advice. We have callers calling in. I love that, Catherine.

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:11.840
<v Speaker 2>What are we focusing on today? What is our topic?

0:22:12.119 --> 0:22:12.199
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:14.320
<v Speaker 3>We have so many things, you know what. We're actually

0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:17.840
<v Speaker 3>going to start with a caller. So Lauren is thirty

0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:20.399
<v Speaker 3>six and she says, how do I get on the

0:22:20.680 --> 0:22:25.080
<v Speaker 3>friends with benefits to wifey pipeline? Dear Chelsea, I've been

0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:27.760
<v Speaker 3>at a casual friends with benefits type relationship for a

0:22:27.840 --> 0:22:29.960
<v Speaker 3>year and a half. It's worked out great for both

0:22:30.000 --> 0:22:32.000
<v Speaker 3>of us, especially since I'm a solo parent to my

0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:35.399
<v Speaker 3>young daughter and he's a workaholic. His dick is better

0:22:35.440 --> 0:22:38.920
<v Speaker 3>than anyone else's. He's sweeter and more considerate than anyone

0:22:38.920 --> 0:22:41.879
<v Speaker 3>I've dated, maybe ever, and I care for him deeply.

0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:45.000
<v Speaker 3>Here's where I need the advice. For the last few months,

0:22:45.040 --> 0:22:47.720
<v Speaker 3>I've been having feelings of wanting more from him. I

0:22:47.760 --> 0:22:50.200
<v Speaker 3>want him to stay longer, to come over more often.

0:22:50.320 --> 0:22:52.800
<v Speaker 3>I want us to be more official. Essentially, I want

0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:55.159
<v Speaker 3>him to make an honest woman out of me. But

0:22:55.200 --> 0:22:57.320
<v Speaker 3>I'm so scared to talk to him about it because

0:22:57.359 --> 0:22:59.639
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to ruin what we have. When I

0:22:59.680 --> 0:23:02.199
<v Speaker 3>think of these things, I usually end up reconciling with

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:04.920
<v Speaker 3>myself that this is the relationship I can handle right now.

0:23:04.960 --> 0:23:06.960
<v Speaker 3>But what do you think? Is it because this dick

0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:09.000
<v Speaker 3>is so good that I want him to wipe me up?

0:23:09.320 --> 0:23:10.760
<v Speaker 3>Or is it a sign that I need to end

0:23:10.760 --> 0:23:12.840
<v Speaker 3>things with him so I can pursue a quote unquote

0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:16.440
<v Speaker 3>serious relationship. Will it be worth sacrificing what I have already?

0:23:16.680 --> 0:23:20.720
<v Speaker 3>Thanks so much, Lauren, hi Lo, Lauren hi there.

0:23:21.320 --> 0:23:23.320
<v Speaker 4>Thanks so much for taking my call.

0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:25.920
<v Speaker 2>You're so welcome. This is our special guest, Sophia Bush

0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:26.560
<v Speaker 2>is here today.

0:23:26.920 --> 0:23:28.480
<v Speaker 4>Wow, amazing, We're here.

0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:31.360
<v Speaker 2>To assess your The dick that's so great. I don't

0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:34.000
<v Speaker 2>think ever, you know, I honestly, I'm just thinking, like

0:23:34.040 --> 0:23:35.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I've ever dated anyone where I thought

0:23:35.800 --> 0:23:38.840
<v Speaker 2>the dick is so great, Like it's usually if an

0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:45.199
<v Speaker 2>emotional relationship that makes you love the sex, Yes, but

0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:47.760
<v Speaker 2>you're saying you just love the sex, and then that's

0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:51.240
<v Speaker 2>bringing you in emotionally, I mean both.

0:23:51.400 --> 0:23:56.760
<v Speaker 4>Really, it's all it's all good. It's been really great.

0:23:56.200 --> 0:23:58.720
<v Speaker 2>And so what's the vibe? He just you? He only

0:23:58.760 --> 0:24:01.760
<v Speaker 2>comes up, did you guys ever time together that's not sexual?

0:24:02.240 --> 0:24:04.600
<v Speaker 4>We did in the beginning a little more, but our

0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:07.640
<v Speaker 4>schedules are kind of crazy, and so we got into

0:24:07.680 --> 0:24:10.800
<v Speaker 4>a bit of a routine of just getting together at

0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:13.200
<v Speaker 4>night and enjoying each other's company.

0:24:14.000 --> 0:24:16.320
<v Speaker 2>And do you get the impression from him that that's

0:24:16.359 --> 0:24:17.080
<v Speaker 2>all he wants.

0:24:17.880 --> 0:24:21.080
<v Speaker 4>It's a tough read. It's a real tough read because

0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:28.359
<v Speaker 4>he doesn't talk too much about his feelings and that's

0:24:28.480 --> 0:24:31.960
<v Speaker 4>kind of worked for us, I think. So, yeah, it's

0:24:32.000 --> 0:24:34.120
<v Speaker 4>really tough to read at the moment. And that's why

0:24:34.160 --> 0:24:37.600
<v Speaker 4>I'm like a little scared about bringing it up, because

0:24:37.680 --> 0:24:39.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to lose what we have.

0:24:39.440 --> 0:24:41.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well that's how you can bring it up. You

0:24:41.200 --> 0:24:44.280
<v Speaker 2>can just say, you know, hey, I like one night

0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:46.600
<v Speaker 2>when you're not having sex, or when you're done having sex,

0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:49.000
<v Speaker 2>or when just you know, you can say hey, I

0:24:49.040 --> 0:24:51.800
<v Speaker 2>really enjoy spending time together, and I know this is

0:24:51.880 --> 0:24:54.400
<v Speaker 2>kind of a sexual thing, but if you're ever interested

0:24:54.440 --> 0:24:57.520
<v Speaker 2>in more than that, I'm down for that. And make

0:24:57.560 --> 0:25:00.840
<v Speaker 2>it light like so that there's not a huge like repercussion.

0:25:00.880 --> 0:25:02.600
<v Speaker 2>If he doesn't feel the same way that you can't

0:25:02.600 --> 0:25:05.040
<v Speaker 2>continue to have sex unless you think, I mean, Ken,

0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:06.960
<v Speaker 2>do you think you can handle continuing to have sex?

0:25:07.000 --> 0:25:07.880
<v Speaker 2>If his answer is.

0:25:07.800 --> 0:25:10.800
<v Speaker 5>No, I hope, so, I really hope.

0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:13.760
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, right, Sophia, don't you think you should just

0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:15.840
<v Speaker 2>you have to bridge that, you have to say something

0:25:15.960 --> 0:25:16.440
<v Speaker 2>at some point.

0:25:16.520 --> 0:25:20.159
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, I think to Chelsea's point, at the

0:25:20.200 --> 0:25:22.480
<v Speaker 1>end of the day, it's always a good idea to

0:25:22.600 --> 0:25:26.160
<v Speaker 1>tell people how you feel. It can be really scary,

0:25:26.440 --> 0:25:30.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean, especially when you know you're considering shifting a

0:25:30.640 --> 0:25:34.719
<v Speaker 1>dynamic into perhaps a more serious one, whether you're going

0:25:34.800 --> 0:25:37.439
<v Speaker 1>to tell a friend you have fallen for them, or

0:25:38.200 --> 0:25:41.200
<v Speaker 1>you know you're gonna you're going to tell mister dickmatized

0:25:41.320 --> 0:25:43.840
<v Speaker 1>that you want more than just that. Like, I don't know,

0:25:44.280 --> 0:25:48.320
<v Speaker 1>but I think it's I think the advice of just

0:25:48.400 --> 0:25:51.800
<v Speaker 1>sort of start there is good to say this is great,

0:25:52.400 --> 0:25:56.720
<v Speaker 1>nothing's wrong. I'm having a great time with you, and

0:25:57.480 --> 0:26:01.000
<v Speaker 1>if you're open to more than that, I am as well, Like,

0:26:01.080 --> 0:26:04.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, maybe after you guys sleep together the

0:26:04.080 --> 0:26:05.960
<v Speaker 1>next time, like ask him if he wants a girl

0:26:06.080 --> 0:26:08.960
<v Speaker 1>cheese and like eat a snack, talk to each other

0:26:09.000 --> 0:26:11.119
<v Speaker 1>for ten minutes and see what happens.

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:16.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I did broach very delicately the idea of him

0:26:16.440 --> 0:26:21.120
<v Speaker 4>meeting my daughter. We had dinner out one time, and

0:26:21.880 --> 0:26:23.879
<v Speaker 4>you know, I got the impression like, you know, she's

0:26:24.240 --> 0:26:27.840
<v Speaker 4>almost four, so she's kind of wild right now, and

0:26:28.119 --> 0:26:31.400
<v Speaker 4>I I don't know if it was like the vibe,

0:26:31.560 --> 0:26:32.360
<v Speaker 4>but he was.

0:26:32.359 --> 0:26:34.960
<v Speaker 2>Well what what did he What was his response to that?

0:26:36.000 --> 0:26:39.760
<v Speaker 4>He's so caring and generous and like he just kind

0:26:39.760 --> 0:26:42.720
<v Speaker 4>of went with the flow. And so that part of

0:26:42.760 --> 0:26:45.680
<v Speaker 4>that reaction of his makes me think like he's kind

0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:49.080
<v Speaker 4>of taking my lead. But at the same time, maybe

0:26:49.080 --> 0:26:50.960
<v Speaker 4>he's like, oh, this is too much for me.

0:26:51.119 --> 0:26:53.479
<v Speaker 2>So well, you don't have to have him meet your

0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:55.240
<v Speaker 2>daughter right away. That is a lot. That's a big

0:26:55.320 --> 0:26:58.520
<v Speaker 2>jump from just away. It was right away, but but

0:26:58.600 --> 0:27:00.919
<v Speaker 2>I mean there's this in between there somewhere, So like

0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:03.000
<v Speaker 2>the next time you bring it up, you can bring

0:27:03.040 --> 0:27:05.359
<v Speaker 2>it up more lightly, and also you should bring it

0:27:05.440 --> 0:27:07.199
<v Speaker 2>up because you want that, Like you have to go

0:27:07.280 --> 0:27:09.240
<v Speaker 2>after what you want. It's not just gonna like not

0:27:09.320 --> 0:27:13.280
<v Speaker 2>necessarily happen without you saying it and facilitating it. And

0:27:13.320 --> 0:27:15.960
<v Speaker 2>also just to have like a conversation with yourself beforehand,

0:27:16.080 --> 0:27:19.000
<v Speaker 2>Like I know, it's like a little bit like you know,

0:27:19.000 --> 0:27:21.000
<v Speaker 2>we get nervous to say these things, but they're so

0:27:21.080 --> 0:27:24.679
<v Speaker 2>important for us to express ourselves. It's very important as

0:27:24.720 --> 0:27:26.720
<v Speaker 2>a woman. Just like think of your daughter, you know

0:27:26.760 --> 0:27:28.600
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, Think of doing it for your daughter,

0:27:28.720 --> 0:27:31.200
<v Speaker 2>like standing up for what you want, saying what you want,

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:33.359
<v Speaker 2>and if you don't get it, then okay, fine, and

0:27:33.400 --> 0:27:35.719
<v Speaker 2>then you can continue having sex with him if that's

0:27:35.760 --> 0:27:38.239
<v Speaker 2>what you want to do. But yeah, just do it

0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:41.240
<v Speaker 2>with a little sense of female empowerment like yeah, I

0:27:41.280 --> 0:27:43.160
<v Speaker 2>got this, I want this, I'm gonna ask for it.

0:27:44.000 --> 0:27:44.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:27:44.320 --> 0:27:47.040
<v Speaker 1>And on the meeting the kid thing, if I may,

0:27:47.600 --> 0:27:50.399
<v Speaker 1>I think there's also something it's a big deal for

0:27:50.480 --> 0:27:54.480
<v Speaker 1>somebody to meet your kid, you know it It signifies

0:27:54.600 --> 0:27:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I think, a certain level of a relationship. So if

0:27:59.760 --> 0:28:02.199
<v Speaker 1>you want to go from the friends with benefits with

0:28:02.280 --> 0:28:04.840
<v Speaker 1>him to see if you guys are compatible for a

0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:08.200
<v Speaker 1>real relationship, work on building the relationship between you two

0:28:08.200 --> 0:28:11.800
<v Speaker 1>as adults, and if that really does take off, then

0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:14.280
<v Speaker 1>he can meet your kid. You know, your kid is

0:28:15.040 --> 0:28:18.840
<v Speaker 1>is the center of your world and the reward for

0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:23.240
<v Speaker 1>him actually showing up as a partner. I agree with Chelsea, Like,

0:28:23.280 --> 0:28:25.359
<v Speaker 1>I think skipping to that probably would feel a little

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:29.760
<v Speaker 1>overwhelming for someone you know, center as she's advising you, like,

0:28:29.880 --> 0:28:31.440
<v Speaker 1>center yourself. You deserve that.

0:28:32.359 --> 0:28:36.000
<v Speaker 3>Do you feel like this desire for something more serious

0:28:36.359 --> 0:28:39.440
<v Speaker 3>is because of him or because maybe you're just like

0:28:39.560 --> 0:28:42.400
<v Speaker 3>ready for a relationship that's a little more traditional.

0:28:43.240 --> 0:28:47.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's part of what I think as well. It

0:28:47.920 --> 0:28:51.680
<v Speaker 4>could be that it could be like because my daughter's

0:28:51.720 --> 0:28:54.200
<v Speaker 4>getting older, it could be like a little bit of

0:28:54.200 --> 0:28:56.920
<v Speaker 4>a sign that I'm ready for something. But you know,

0:28:57.000 --> 0:29:01.640
<v Speaker 4>I tested the waters with other people and dating like

0:29:01.680 --> 0:29:05.600
<v Speaker 4>more seriously, and he's still he's kind of it. He's

0:29:05.640 --> 0:29:07.920
<v Speaker 4>still it. That's why I want to try it out

0:29:07.960 --> 0:29:08.640
<v Speaker 4>with him.

0:29:09.000 --> 0:29:12.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think he should. Okay, Yeah, you definitely should

0:29:12.240 --> 0:29:14.120
<v Speaker 2>do it. Get come up with a plan and do

0:29:14.200 --> 0:29:16.680
<v Speaker 2>it and be you know, be proud of yourself for

0:29:16.760 --> 0:29:19.520
<v Speaker 2>like and pushed forward. Like if you do this act,

0:29:19.920 --> 0:29:22.280
<v Speaker 2>regardless of the outcome, you just have to like try

0:29:22.280 --> 0:29:24.280
<v Speaker 2>to detach from the outcome. I know what you want,

0:29:24.560 --> 0:29:26.640
<v Speaker 2>you know what you want. You can say that, but

0:29:27.080 --> 0:29:30.240
<v Speaker 2>it's a good exercise period, you know, to start asserting

0:29:30.240 --> 0:29:31.080
<v Speaker 2>yourself in that way.

0:29:31.920 --> 0:29:34.480
<v Speaker 4>That's excellent advice. That's totally what I need to hear.

0:29:34.640 --> 0:29:36.040
<v Speaker 4>I was kind of hoping you guys would give me

0:29:36.080 --> 0:29:39.080
<v Speaker 4>some like feminine wiles that I can tap into and

0:29:39.200 --> 0:29:42.320
<v Speaker 4>convince him to yeah, to wipe me up.

0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:43.360
<v Speaker 2>But you're right.

0:29:43.880 --> 0:29:46.160
<v Speaker 3>I think the feminine whiles come from the casual approach

0:29:46.200 --> 0:29:48.400
<v Speaker 3>that Chelsea mentioned, just like, hey, like, what do you

0:29:48.400 --> 0:29:49.400
<v Speaker 3>feel about this?

0:29:49.400 --> 0:29:50.760
<v Speaker 2>This sounds good to me if that's where we're going

0:29:50.840 --> 0:29:51.080
<v Speaker 2>to take it.

0:29:51.120 --> 0:29:52.920
<v Speaker 3>You know, I think that is like a perfect way

0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:55.320
<v Speaker 3>to do it, rather than being like, here are two choices,

0:29:55.640 --> 0:29:57.680
<v Speaker 3>do we do this or is it over? You know?

0:29:57.760 --> 0:29:59.720
<v Speaker 3>I think that puts a little too fine a point

0:29:59.760 --> 0:30:00.000
<v Speaker 3>on it.

0:30:00.360 --> 0:30:01.480
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely Yeah.

0:30:01.600 --> 0:30:03.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, well, good luck, report back, Okay, let us know

0:30:03.840 --> 0:30:05.440
<v Speaker 2>what happens. Please, thank you so much.

0:30:05.480 --> 0:30:06.280
<v Speaker 4>I will nice.

0:30:06.360 --> 0:30:06.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:30:06.960 --> 0:30:11.239
<v Speaker 2>Why I want to get a dimple like Sophia? Why

0:30:11.280 --> 0:30:13.880
<v Speaker 2>don't people try and get dimples when they get plastic surgery?

0:30:14.040 --> 0:30:16.320
<v Speaker 2>Because you never see somebody just all of a sudden

0:30:16.360 --> 0:30:18.680
<v Speaker 2>show up with a dimple like that should be a

0:30:18.680 --> 0:30:21.360
<v Speaker 2>good request for plastic surgery, you know, like I would

0:30:21.440 --> 0:30:23.400
<v Speaker 2>like a dimple on my left cheek, like like ordering

0:30:23.400 --> 0:30:24.480
<v Speaker 2>it up like a cabbage patch.

0:30:24.880 --> 0:30:28.120
<v Speaker 3>I do think there's a certain child actor that did

0:30:28.200 --> 0:30:28.479
<v Speaker 3>do that.

0:30:28.880 --> 0:30:31.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh I don't want to name any names. I'll have to.

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:33.720
<v Speaker 2>I'll have to bring that up with my next plastic

0:30:33.720 --> 0:30:34.640
<v Speaker 2>surgery appointment.

0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:37.600
<v Speaker 1>But I think a dimple is technically a deformity.

0:30:38.360 --> 0:30:40.240
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, it's so cute. Who cares?

0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:43.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I like, I like mine, But it's literally

0:30:43.040 --> 0:30:45.680
<v Speaker 1>I think it's like a I think it's some sort

0:30:45.680 --> 0:30:49.360
<v Speaker 1>of a situation where like your muscles don't completely put

0:30:49.480 --> 0:30:51.680
<v Speaker 1>together all the way and you just have like a

0:30:51.720 --> 0:30:52.560
<v Speaker 1>hole in your face.

0:30:52.800 --> 0:30:54.200
<v Speaker 2>So I don't know how they would.

0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:55.040
<v Speaker 1>Make one for you.

0:30:55.480 --> 0:30:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure they can make one for you. I'm sure.

0:30:58.680 --> 0:31:00.479
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure they can come up with something.

0:31:00.760 --> 0:31:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they can give you a whole new face. They

0:31:03.120 --> 0:31:04.720
<v Speaker 1>can probably give you exactly right.

0:31:04.680 --> 0:31:05.520
<v Speaker 2>Exactly right.

0:31:06.160 --> 0:31:10.200
<v Speaker 3>Well, our next question comes from Katie. It's kind of

0:31:10.200 --> 0:31:12.080
<v Speaker 3>most of some of the political stuff that we have

0:31:12.160 --> 0:31:15.800
<v Speaker 3>been talking about. So she says, your Chelsea, I have

0:31:15.960 --> 0:31:20.560
<v Speaker 3>so much anger at the world. I have ADHD's justice sensitivity,

0:31:20.680 --> 0:31:22.480
<v Speaker 3>which is a phrase I only learned a couple of

0:31:22.520 --> 0:31:25.040
<v Speaker 3>years ago when I was first diagnosed. It explained a

0:31:25.120 --> 0:31:28.560
<v Speaker 3>lot my whole life. I've been jokingly prodded at for

0:31:28.600 --> 0:31:32.160
<v Speaker 3>my anger. It often comes out in exaggerated and dramatic jokes,

0:31:32.240 --> 0:31:35.360
<v Speaker 3>where I'm known to be brutally honest, crass, and passionate.

0:31:35.840 --> 0:31:37.840
<v Speaker 3>It's been a blessing and a curse where I've been

0:31:37.880 --> 0:31:40.680
<v Speaker 3>thanked throughout my life for speaking up and calling out wrongs.

0:31:40.880 --> 0:31:42.719
<v Speaker 3>But then I've also been seen in my family as

0:31:42.840 --> 0:31:47.000
<v Speaker 3>constantly angry about something I know deep down anger is grief.

0:31:47.160 --> 0:31:49.640
<v Speaker 3>I've seen therapists before, and I'm open to it again,

0:31:49.720 --> 0:31:51.960
<v Speaker 3>but I can't help but shrug it off as futile.

0:31:52.240 --> 0:31:55.400
<v Speaker 3>Considering a therapist can't fix the selfishness and stupidity of

0:31:55.440 --> 0:31:59.680
<v Speaker 3>most humans. The pandemic, the elections, the denial of climate change,

0:31:59.720 --> 0:32:03.200
<v Speaker 3>and the weaponization of marginalized communities weighs on me daily.

0:32:03.480 --> 0:32:06.440
<v Speaker 3>I'm finding that I'm growing so angry I'm compartmentalizing just

0:32:06.440 --> 0:32:09.640
<v Speaker 3>to operate. My faith in humanity is wrecked. I can't

0:32:09.640 --> 0:32:11.640
<v Speaker 3>look at people who I love as worthy of my

0:32:11.760 --> 0:32:14.840
<v Speaker 3>love because I feel their integrity has reached unfathomable lows

0:32:15.080 --> 0:32:17.560
<v Speaker 3>and their support of a serial sex predator in the

0:32:17.560 --> 0:32:20.719
<v Speaker 3>White House. All in all, people love me, and I

0:32:20.800 --> 0:32:23.000
<v Speaker 3>know that I have enough support to be happy. Overall,

0:32:23.280 --> 0:32:25.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to change the fiery passion I have

0:32:25.080 --> 0:32:27.800
<v Speaker 3>regarding the injustices of the world, and I thrive on

0:32:27.880 --> 0:32:31.400
<v Speaker 3>bullying the bullies. It feels good, but rage is unhealthy.

0:32:31.680 --> 0:32:34.320
<v Speaker 3>I need a shift in perspective. I've related to Chelsea

0:32:34.360 --> 0:32:36.520
<v Speaker 3>my whole life for being honest and calling people out,

0:32:36.600 --> 0:32:39.280
<v Speaker 3>so maybe you can help. Thank you, Katie.

0:32:39.680 --> 0:32:44.120
<v Speaker 2>Hi, Katie Hi, Katy Hi. This is Sophia Bush, our

0:32:44.160 --> 0:32:45.200
<v Speaker 2>special guest today.

0:32:45.560 --> 0:32:47.600
<v Speaker 5>Nice to meet you. Thanks for having me on.

0:32:48.040 --> 0:32:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm a fellow Justice Sensitivity girly. Thank you for that.

0:32:52.200 --> 0:32:55.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think we can both relate to how you're feeling. Absolutely.

0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:57.640
<v Speaker 2>I think a good word that you used is integrity

0:32:57.760 --> 0:33:01.160
<v Speaker 2>in that email, and I think we should talk about

0:33:01.160 --> 0:33:03.800
<v Speaker 2>that word because I think that when you have a

0:33:03.840 --> 0:33:06.200
<v Speaker 2>lot of integrity and you see people that don't have it,

0:33:06.320 --> 0:33:08.800
<v Speaker 2>we can be judgmental of that, we can be like

0:33:09.200 --> 0:33:11.760
<v Speaker 2>in dismissive of those people, but we don't know that

0:33:11.800 --> 0:33:14.560
<v Speaker 2>they're not acting within their own integrity, you know, like,

0:33:14.640 --> 0:33:17.920
<v Speaker 2>to me, the genuflecting to Donald Trump after he's become

0:33:17.960 --> 0:33:22.440
<v Speaker 2>elected is lacking integrity. He's supporting him from the beginning.

0:33:22.520 --> 0:33:24.680
<v Speaker 2>That's a different set of rules, because that could be

0:33:24.720 --> 0:33:27.120
<v Speaker 2>an integrity or that could really be your belief system

0:33:27.280 --> 0:33:30.120
<v Speaker 2>and you believe you are acting with integrity. But the

0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:32.080
<v Speaker 2>one thing I want you to hold on to is

0:33:32.160 --> 0:33:36.480
<v Speaker 2>your integrity. And having integrity means being able to treat

0:33:36.520 --> 0:33:40.920
<v Speaker 2>situations with respect even when you don't respect them. And

0:33:41.000 --> 0:33:44.680
<v Speaker 2>when you have high levels of anger like you're talking about,

0:33:45.080 --> 0:33:47.480
<v Speaker 2>you've got to harness that rage and turn it into

0:33:47.520 --> 0:33:52.080
<v Speaker 2>something positive, and something like that is loving. And in

0:33:52.160 --> 0:33:54.200
<v Speaker 2>order to do that, you've got to figure out where

0:33:54.240 --> 0:33:56.680
<v Speaker 2>your deep anger is coming from. Because it's not like

0:33:56.920 --> 0:33:59.360
<v Speaker 2>when this happened in twenty this happened in twenty sixteen.

0:33:59.720 --> 0:34:01.840
<v Speaker 2>I was exactly what I was going off the rails.

0:34:01.880 --> 0:34:04.360
<v Speaker 2>I was screaming at people, arguing with people if I

0:34:04.360 --> 0:34:07.160
<v Speaker 2>didn't agree with them politically. They were no longer my friends.

0:34:07.280 --> 0:34:11.799
<v Speaker 2>I was freaking out, and I realized when I went

0:34:11.840 --> 0:34:13.960
<v Speaker 2>to therapy that that anger was that was just a

0:34:13.960 --> 0:34:15.960
<v Speaker 2>place for me to put my anger, like that was

0:34:16.000 --> 0:34:18.840
<v Speaker 2>an obvious place to store it. Now I had somewhere

0:34:18.920 --> 0:34:22.200
<v Speaker 2>to direct it and a reason, but really what it

0:34:22.280 --> 0:34:25.000
<v Speaker 2>was was a much deeper kind of delayed grief, delayed

0:34:25.040 --> 0:34:28.759
<v Speaker 2>pain that I had never experienced from my childhood. Right, So,

0:34:29.400 --> 0:34:32.000
<v Speaker 2>you really want to find somebody, a therapist that's going

0:34:32.040 --> 0:34:33.600
<v Speaker 2>to be good. And it might not be the first

0:34:33.640 --> 0:34:35.239
<v Speaker 2>one or the third one that you meet with. And

0:34:35.280 --> 0:34:37.759
<v Speaker 2>I know that sounds exhausting, but like you're talking about

0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:40.080
<v Speaker 2>your mental well being and your mental health for the

0:34:40.080 --> 0:34:42.920
<v Speaker 2>rest of your life, because if you can invest some

0:34:43.120 --> 0:34:46.880
<v Speaker 2>time into getting into, like getting in with a good therapist,

0:34:47.280 --> 0:34:50.160
<v Speaker 2>it's going to yield so many benefits for your life

0:34:50.200 --> 0:34:52.719
<v Speaker 2>moving forward when you have to deal with all of

0:34:52.760 --> 0:34:57.080
<v Speaker 2>these unpalatable situations that we're all dealing with and conversations,

0:34:57.239 --> 0:34:59.880
<v Speaker 2>because it's much more meaningful to be able to disagree

0:34:59.880 --> 0:35:03.960
<v Speaker 2>with somebody without becoming rageful. It's much more powerful to

0:35:04.000 --> 0:35:06.680
<v Speaker 2>have an argument without losing your shit, right.

0:35:06.760 --> 0:35:09.440
<v Speaker 5>Right, and the rate, Like I'll put it this way,

0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:12.680
<v Speaker 5>I stay articulate, I stay informed, I know what I'm

0:35:12.719 --> 0:35:15.839
<v Speaker 5>talking about when I engage with people, and I try

0:35:15.840 --> 0:35:18.400
<v Speaker 5>to approach it with respect. But it's like we keep

0:35:18.480 --> 0:35:21.080
<v Speaker 5>reaching new lows every week, every month, every day. It's

0:35:21.080 --> 0:35:25.640
<v Speaker 5>just new lows where the justification for this kind of

0:35:25.680 --> 0:35:29.759
<v Speaker 5>cult mentality is driving me absolutely insane, where I'm like,

0:35:30.480 --> 0:35:33.520
<v Speaker 5>you believe one thing, you know, you advocate for the constitution,

0:35:33.640 --> 0:35:35.799
<v Speaker 5>and then all of a sudden, we're seeing that get

0:35:35.800 --> 0:35:39.799
<v Speaker 5>bypassed and you're now justifying why it makes sense and

0:35:39.880 --> 0:35:44.080
<v Speaker 5>why authoritarianism makes sense. And it's like I'm seeing just

0:35:44.120 --> 0:35:51.200
<v Speaker 5>this like degradation in moral values in logic where I like, yeah,

0:35:51.239 --> 0:35:53.960
<v Speaker 5>like I'm totally down for therapy, like that is something

0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:57.840
<v Speaker 5>I've advocated for my whole life. But I just don't

0:35:57.880 --> 0:36:00.880
<v Speaker 5>know like how to approach that from a sense of

0:36:01.440 --> 0:36:04.640
<v Speaker 5>respect because I start to lose respect for those people

0:36:04.640 --> 0:36:08.960
<v Speaker 5>because they're now almost hypocritical in what they've always claimed

0:36:09.000 --> 0:36:11.720
<v Speaker 5>to be their values. And that's where I'm having trouble

0:36:11.880 --> 0:36:14.400
<v Speaker 5>is reconciling, Hey, this is who you say you are,

0:36:14.480 --> 0:36:17.719
<v Speaker 5>this is how you represent yourself, but how you vote

0:36:17.719 --> 0:36:22.120
<v Speaker 5>and how you reflect or politics does not mirror what

0:36:22.160 --> 0:36:25.080
<v Speaker 5>you claim to be. And it's happening with some loved ones.

0:36:25.080 --> 0:36:27.239
<v Speaker 5>I've got a great support system, a lot of people

0:36:27.280 --> 0:36:30.520
<v Speaker 5>who you know, support me and agree and we don't

0:36:30.520 --> 0:36:32.840
<v Speaker 5>all have to agree, but it's getting to a point

0:36:32.840 --> 0:36:37.360
<v Speaker 5>now where it's just so inhumane that that's where I'm struggling,

0:36:37.440 --> 0:36:41.239
<v Speaker 5>Like degree, the sadness, the fear. I recognize that my

0:36:41.760 --> 0:36:44.360
<v Speaker 5>rage comes from that, but getting it out in a

0:36:44.400 --> 0:36:47.799
<v Speaker 5>healthy way, other than going online and trolling somebody and

0:36:47.800 --> 0:36:51.560
<v Speaker 5>berating them or logically making an argument that holds up,

0:36:51.840 --> 0:36:54.799
<v Speaker 5>like you know, sure, that'll give me some adrenaline, but

0:36:54.840 --> 0:36:57.879
<v Speaker 5>that's not sustainable. We keep preaching these new lows, and

0:36:57.920 --> 0:37:01.600
<v Speaker 5>only lately we're seeing people regret their decision because the

0:37:01.680 --> 0:37:05.200
<v Speaker 5>markets are in turmoil. There's just chaos, and that kind

0:37:05.200 --> 0:37:07.799
<v Speaker 5>of is another angle where I'm like, well, now they

0:37:07.840 --> 0:37:10.600
<v Speaker 5>care because their wallets are getting hit, and I need

0:37:10.600 --> 0:37:13.279
<v Speaker 5>that shifted perspective of like, okay, well maybe this olver

0:37:13.360 --> 0:37:15.840
<v Speaker 5>lining is they're starting to regret the decision. They're starting

0:37:15.840 --> 0:37:18.400
<v Speaker 5>to question their decision, but I need to get away

0:37:18.440 --> 0:37:21.680
<v Speaker 5>from this. Well they're stupid and lazy and misinformed the

0:37:21.880 --> 0:37:22.680
<v Speaker 5>end they're late.

0:37:23.760 --> 0:37:27.399
<v Speaker 1>Can I offer you something on that? Absolutely, And I'm

0:37:27.440 --> 0:37:30.000
<v Speaker 1>not going to say that it's like a magic solve,

0:37:30.719 --> 0:37:33.840
<v Speaker 1>but something that I've really had to reckon with because

0:37:33.840 --> 0:37:38.120
<v Speaker 1>I've I think I've had the exact verbatim conversation you're having,

0:37:38.239 --> 0:37:40.839
<v Speaker 1>like we could, we could do a freaky Friday.

0:37:40.560 --> 0:37:41.480
<v Speaker 2>Swap in this moment.

0:37:41.680 --> 0:37:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Chelsea and I have both been in the thing, Like

0:37:45.480 --> 0:37:47.120
<v Speaker 1>I think we all know what it is to be

0:37:47.320 --> 0:37:50.160
<v Speaker 1>so angry at what is so apparent, and so let's

0:37:50.200 --> 0:37:51.640
<v Speaker 1>be frank like hurt by it.

0:37:51.960 --> 0:37:52.080
<v Speaker 5>Right.

0:37:52.200 --> 0:37:54.720
<v Speaker 1>The idea, you know, we were talking about this earlier.

0:37:54.719 --> 0:37:57.200
<v Speaker 1>The idea of the American dream is that we built

0:37:57.239 --> 0:38:00.800
<v Speaker 1>a democracy to allow for people to be free. Granted,

0:38:00.800 --> 0:38:02.560
<v Speaker 1>we fucked up a lot along the way, but like

0:38:02.840 --> 0:38:06.080
<v Speaker 1>we're supposed to be generationally getting closer and closer to

0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:09.600
<v Speaker 1>those ideals. And when you see people take the collective

0:38:09.600 --> 0:38:13.000
<v Speaker 1>agreement on the ideal and just torch it for personal

0:38:13.040 --> 0:38:16.959
<v Speaker 1>gain or so that someone else can be the butt

0:38:16.960 --> 0:38:18.799
<v Speaker 1>of the joke or the center of the target, it's

0:38:18.960 --> 0:38:22.200
<v Speaker 1>really it's not just hard, it's like traumatizing. It's very

0:38:22.239 --> 0:38:27.439
<v Speaker 1>destabilizing because you realize, like real isn't real. What's been

0:38:27.520 --> 0:38:31.960
<v Speaker 1>helpful for me to understand about people is actually to

0:38:32.000 --> 0:38:35.560
<v Speaker 1>do some of the nerdier research on confirmation bias and

0:38:35.640 --> 0:38:38.920
<v Speaker 1>to understand that we're not having a conversation about logic,

0:38:39.000 --> 0:38:42.200
<v Speaker 1>we're having a conversation about shame and when people have

0:38:42.280 --> 0:38:45.200
<v Speaker 1>put all their eggs in a basket that operates like

0:38:45.239 --> 0:38:49.840
<v Speaker 1>a cult, that is abusive, that is absolutely fascist, and

0:38:49.880 --> 0:38:53.040
<v Speaker 1>they've been told that it is the most American, most

0:38:53.040 --> 0:38:58.000
<v Speaker 1>patriotic thing. When they start to have facts that push

0:38:58.080 --> 0:39:02.479
<v Speaker 1>up against their confirmation bias, it's more likely that they're

0:39:02.480 --> 0:39:04.720
<v Speaker 1>going to double down on the lie that they believe

0:39:04.840 --> 0:39:07.759
<v Speaker 1>than admit that it was a lie, because it's personally

0:39:07.880 --> 0:39:13.440
<v Speaker 1>individually traumatizing, and it creates so much shame to realize

0:39:13.480 --> 0:39:15.800
<v Speaker 1>you bought a lie, to realize you bought the snake

0:39:15.840 --> 0:39:19.919
<v Speaker 1>oil from the salesman. And so I've had to take

0:39:19.960 --> 0:39:24.120
<v Speaker 1>a deep breath and try to and I don't say

0:39:24.160 --> 0:39:27.120
<v Speaker 1>this to be a dick. I really like I put

0:39:27.200 --> 0:39:29.520
<v Speaker 1>myself in the space that I used to when I nannied,

0:39:29.840 --> 0:39:32.239
<v Speaker 1>when I was a camp Counselor when I'm dealing with

0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:34.480
<v Speaker 1>a three and a half year old who like irrationally

0:39:34.520 --> 0:39:36.320
<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to eat even though they're having a meltdown

0:39:36.320 --> 0:39:39.480
<v Speaker 1>because they're hungry, I have to remind myself that I

0:39:39.600 --> 0:39:43.319
<v Speaker 1>know something about the irrationality that they're experiencing in their

0:39:43.360 --> 0:39:47.880
<v Speaker 1>body that they haven't quite dealt with yet, and it

0:39:47.920 --> 0:39:52.880
<v Speaker 1>gives me just enough pause and grace to say, the

0:39:52.960 --> 0:39:55.440
<v Speaker 1>trauma's going to hit them too, and what are we

0:39:55.560 --> 0:39:58.000
<v Speaker 1>going to do about it when they get here? And

0:39:58.960 --> 0:40:01.880
<v Speaker 1>that's really a self present reservation tactic for me. It

0:40:02.000 --> 0:40:04.320
<v Speaker 1>is a way for me to be more human instead

0:40:04.320 --> 0:40:09.160
<v Speaker 1>of more enraged, because the angrier we are, the more

0:40:09.200 --> 0:40:11.439
<v Speaker 1>they're winning, the more they get to be like, look

0:40:11.440 --> 0:40:16.000
<v Speaker 1>at these fucking screaming, you know, screaming leftists, and it's like,

0:40:16.239 --> 0:40:22.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm not screaming. Actually, I'm desperate to save the American experiment.

0:40:23.440 --> 0:40:25.680
<v Speaker 5>Right, And I will heartly agree with all of that.

0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:28.080
<v Speaker 1>And so I think if you can give yourself a

0:40:28.080 --> 0:40:31.520
<v Speaker 1>little bit of the psychology in your own personal interaction,

0:40:31.800 --> 0:40:34.440
<v Speaker 1>it can help you. And then, honestly, one of the

0:40:34.480 --> 0:40:38.319
<v Speaker 1>greatest things I learned from a friend was instead of

0:40:38.480 --> 0:40:40.759
<v Speaker 1>doing the thing which you know many of us neurodivergent

0:40:40.800 --> 0:40:42.600
<v Speaker 1>girlies do, which is like, I have every fact in

0:40:42.640 --> 0:40:44.319
<v Speaker 1>every stat and I know this, and let me tell

0:40:44.360 --> 0:40:45.520
<v Speaker 1>you about this. And if I can just give you

0:40:45.600 --> 0:40:48.480
<v Speaker 1>enough information, you're going to see because math is not emotional,

0:40:48.520 --> 0:40:50.000
<v Speaker 1>and then you won't be emotional, and then you'll know

0:40:50.040 --> 0:40:52.040
<v Speaker 1>that this is true that and you get yourself like

0:40:52.120 --> 0:40:54.960
<v Speaker 1>really psyched out. Sometimes you just need to lean in

0:40:55.000 --> 0:40:57.719
<v Speaker 1>and go, well, why do you believe that? Where'd you

0:40:57.800 --> 0:41:01.080
<v Speaker 1>hear that? Ask people question, because if they can't defend

0:41:01.120 --> 0:41:04.919
<v Speaker 1>their own position, it'll do more for your conversation than

0:41:04.920 --> 0:41:08.280
<v Speaker 1>you trying to defend yours. Right, those will be my two.

0:41:08.640 --> 0:41:11.759
<v Speaker 5>I've definitely taken that approach of asking leading questions and

0:41:12.280 --> 0:41:14.640
<v Speaker 5>the why and the how, and trying to relate of like,

0:41:14.680 --> 0:41:16.239
<v Speaker 5>you know, at the end of the day, we want

0:41:16.280 --> 0:41:19.640
<v Speaker 5>similar things for our country. We want safe communities, we

0:41:19.680 --> 0:41:22.520
<v Speaker 5>want you know, good paying jobs, like we were not

0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:25.640
<v Speaker 5>that different. And I try to kind of point that out.

0:41:26.200 --> 0:41:27.960
<v Speaker 5>And I definitely am trying to take it from a

0:41:28.000 --> 0:41:30.920
<v Speaker 5>standpoint of like, yes, they're a shame to admit that

0:41:30.920 --> 0:41:33.600
<v Speaker 5>they've been wrong, or like nobody likes admitting they've been wrong,

0:41:33.719 --> 0:41:37.160
<v Speaker 5>but it's just at what point, like how much longer

0:41:37.239 --> 0:41:39.480
<v Speaker 5>will it take? And that is where I've been struggling,

0:41:39.520 --> 0:41:42.280
<v Speaker 5>and I'm trying to approach it from a softer approach.

0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:44.840
<v Speaker 5>My wife has kind of taught me about being vulnerable

0:41:44.880 --> 0:41:47.200
<v Speaker 5>instead of being on the attack, you know, my whole life.

0:41:47.200 --> 0:41:51.120
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, Okay, that's that's we don't portray vulnerability because

0:41:51.120 --> 0:41:54.560
<v Speaker 5>then you'll you'll show who what you're afraid of. So

0:41:54.640 --> 0:41:57.239
<v Speaker 5>I've in recent years kind of been trying to do that,

0:41:57.280 --> 0:41:59.200
<v Speaker 5>but it's just I just feel like it just gets

0:41:59.200 --> 0:42:02.640
<v Speaker 5>worse and worse and worse. And I do productive things.

0:42:03.160 --> 0:42:06.400
<v Speaker 5>I nourish myself, I nourish my life, but it's just

0:42:06.520 --> 0:42:08.879
<v Speaker 5>weighing on me, and I just don't know how much

0:42:08.880 --> 0:42:13.120
<v Speaker 5>more I can take. Like I've been compartmentalizing, disassociating, throwing

0:42:13.120 --> 0:42:15.960
<v Speaker 5>myself into my work, like just all of that just

0:42:16.000 --> 0:42:17.480
<v Speaker 5>to get by. And I know that that's kind of,

0:42:17.520 --> 0:42:20.400
<v Speaker 5>like you said, a trauma response and relating it to

0:42:20.480 --> 0:42:23.719
<v Speaker 5>them having their own almost delayed trauma response is a

0:42:23.719 --> 0:42:27.040
<v Speaker 5>helpful way to think of it, just because but then

0:42:27.040 --> 0:42:29.840
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, well, I pity them and they're slow, and

0:42:29.920 --> 0:42:31.319
<v Speaker 5>I have to shift. I have to get rid of

0:42:31.360 --> 0:42:34.879
<v Speaker 5>that because that's still a negative look at somebody who

0:42:35.000 --> 0:42:36.880
<v Speaker 5>deserves compassion as well.

0:42:36.960 --> 0:42:38.759
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you remind me so much of myself, Like

0:42:39.080 --> 0:42:40.959
<v Speaker 2>when I've went into therapy, because one of the first

0:42:40.960 --> 0:42:44.520
<v Speaker 2>things I said to my psychiatrist was I think everyone's annoying.

0:42:44.560 --> 0:42:46.320
<v Speaker 2>He's like, okay, let's talk about your childhood. I'm like,

0:42:46.400 --> 0:42:49.200
<v Speaker 2>that's not important. I said, I find everyone very annoying

0:42:49.239 --> 0:42:51.600
<v Speaker 2>and I have no patience for stupid people. This is

0:42:51.640 --> 0:42:54.520
<v Speaker 2>my biggest issue right now. So it sounds a lot

0:42:54.560 --> 0:42:57.319
<v Speaker 2>like you're echoing that kind of sentiment. And when you

0:42:57.400 --> 0:43:01.040
<v Speaker 2>have that kind of attitude, something is deeper, deeper is happening,

0:43:01.360 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 2>And I understand circumstantially what we're all dealing with. I

0:43:04.160 --> 0:43:08.000
<v Speaker 2>completely get it. I completely understand being angry, being disappointed,

0:43:08.160 --> 0:43:10.920
<v Speaker 2>blah blah blah. But there is stuff within you that

0:43:10.960 --> 0:43:13.520
<v Speaker 2>you need to talk to someone about to help you.

0:43:13.600 --> 0:43:15.120
<v Speaker 2>And even if you go in there and you're talking

0:43:15.120 --> 0:43:17.640
<v Speaker 2>about fucking Donald Trump for an hour, that's okay, But

0:43:17.880 --> 0:43:21.080
<v Speaker 2>just exhaust the anger, you know what I mean? So, like,

0:43:21.600 --> 0:43:23.839
<v Speaker 2>learn how to get through your anger and learn how

0:43:23.840 --> 0:43:26.680
<v Speaker 2>to turn that anger into positivity, because that's what tech

0:43:26.760 --> 0:43:29.400
<v Speaker 2>therapy taught me, how to do, how to turn everything

0:43:29.440 --> 0:43:32.080
<v Speaker 2>into like gratitude. Even when you wake up and you

0:43:32.120 --> 0:43:33.560
<v Speaker 2>read the news and you're like, what the fuck am

0:43:33.600 --> 0:43:35.400
<v Speaker 2>I going to be grateful for? There's plenty to be

0:43:35.440 --> 0:43:38.279
<v Speaker 2>grateful for. There's always plenty to be grateful for. We're

0:43:38.280 --> 0:43:40.240
<v Speaker 2>not at a point yet where we're all there's nothing

0:43:40.280 --> 0:43:42.680
<v Speaker 2>to live for, Like that's not happening yet, So you

0:43:42.800 --> 0:43:44.960
<v Speaker 2>want to be able to like, you know, and inject

0:43:45.000 --> 0:43:47.280
<v Speaker 2>people with that, you know, and and when you're coming

0:43:47.280 --> 0:43:50.160
<v Speaker 2>at people with a softer with a softer self, you're

0:43:50.160 --> 0:43:51.560
<v Speaker 2>gonna get a lot farther.

0:43:51.840 --> 0:43:54.359
<v Speaker 5>Right right, And you saying that, I mean, I've been

0:43:54.400 --> 0:43:56.239
<v Speaker 5>watching you since I was a teenager, and like I

0:43:56.320 --> 0:43:57.880
<v Speaker 5>kind of had the joke in my head that you

0:43:57.880 --> 0:44:00.279
<v Speaker 5>were the first time I saw representation, because it was

0:44:00.280 --> 0:44:01.279
<v Speaker 5>the first time I felt like.

0:44:01.480 --> 0:44:04.440
<v Speaker 2>A woman's representation. You stop bags representation, You're like, this

0:44:04.480 --> 0:44:04.919
<v Speaker 2>looks good.

0:44:05.000 --> 0:44:06.920
<v Speaker 5>This is the first white lady that represented me. So

0:44:08.080 --> 0:44:10.759
<v Speaker 5>but it was just like the first time that I

0:44:10.800 --> 0:44:13.600
<v Speaker 5>saw somebody speaking their mind, being thoughty about it, and

0:44:13.680 --> 0:44:15.680
<v Speaker 5>just being able to kind of just say things out

0:44:15.680 --> 0:44:17.960
<v Speaker 5>loud that people are afraid to say. I need to

0:44:18.000 --> 0:44:20.279
<v Speaker 5>probably get back into therapy. I've been in and out.

0:44:20.560 --> 0:44:23.759
<v Speaker 5>My family's always advocated for it, like it, but it's

0:44:23.840 --> 0:44:29.239
<v Speaker 5>just yeah, like getting that the passion out in a

0:44:29.280 --> 0:44:33.040
<v Speaker 5>way that in acts change. And like I said, like

0:44:33.040 --> 0:44:34.400
<v Speaker 5>like I have pride in my work and what I

0:44:34.440 --> 0:44:36.880
<v Speaker 5>do is like semi political. Its related to the environments,

0:44:36.920 --> 0:44:40.000
<v Speaker 5>related to plants, and it's just like that's helpful, but

0:44:40.080 --> 0:44:42.759
<v Speaker 5>I need something just for myself because, like you said,

0:44:42.800 --> 0:44:46.120
<v Speaker 5>it is probably deeper. It is probably something ingrained from childhood.

0:44:46.640 --> 0:44:49.279
<v Speaker 5>But it's just like damn, like how much more of this?

0:44:49.880 --> 0:44:52.360
<v Speaker 5>And yeah, watching your journey has helped a lot, because

0:44:52.480 --> 0:44:54.400
<v Speaker 5>I was thinking, like, I do need to practice gratitude,

0:44:54.400 --> 0:44:56.239
<v Speaker 5>and every day I'm trying to think of like like

0:44:56.280 --> 0:44:59.239
<v Speaker 5>I am happy overall. Then of course I think of

0:44:59.400 --> 0:45:01.880
<v Speaker 5>I'm happy in my little bubble. I've got all these things,

0:45:02.320 --> 0:45:05.640
<v Speaker 5>and here we have all these people suffering, and it's

0:45:05.680 --> 0:45:09.880
<v Speaker 5>getting worse for your average American and not enough Americans

0:45:09.880 --> 0:45:12.920
<v Speaker 5>give a shit. And that's in like, yes, like it

0:45:13.200 --> 0:45:15.960
<v Speaker 5>is external, but like the practice of which I express

0:45:16.040 --> 0:45:18.719
<v Speaker 5>it is something that I need to seek therapy for.

0:45:19.520 --> 0:45:23.680
<v Speaker 5>But I'm still just like, you know, like do I

0:45:23.719 --> 0:45:25.440
<v Speaker 5>just keep disassociating until then.

0:45:25.440 --> 0:45:28.239
<v Speaker 2>Like I don't know, but no, you really just need

0:45:28.280 --> 0:45:29.600
<v Speaker 2>to get into a therapist.

0:45:29.680 --> 0:45:29.920
<v Speaker 4>You do.

0:45:30.239 --> 0:45:32.200
<v Speaker 2>You have to get this out because you can be

0:45:32.280 --> 0:45:35.799
<v Speaker 2>happy and angry. That's not an uncommon combination. You can

0:45:35.840 --> 0:45:37.960
<v Speaker 2>be happy and angry, But what you really want to

0:45:38.000 --> 0:45:42.000
<v Speaker 2>do is learn patience for the other people and learn

0:45:42.040 --> 0:45:45.600
<v Speaker 2>compassion for other people and not be so set in

0:45:45.680 --> 0:45:48.359
<v Speaker 2>your own opinion, even no matter how right it is,

0:45:48.920 --> 0:45:51.520
<v Speaker 2>just to be unable to understand and take in other

0:45:51.560 --> 0:45:55.360
<v Speaker 2>people without it making you fucking angry, and without yelling,

0:45:55.440 --> 0:45:58.520
<v Speaker 2>without screaming, just it's gonna give you the toolbox you

0:45:58.600 --> 0:46:00.879
<v Speaker 2>need that you're gonna need to get through the next

0:46:00.920 --> 0:46:02.200
<v Speaker 2>three years of this right.

0:46:02.280 --> 0:46:03.960
<v Speaker 5>Patience is a good way to put it for me,

0:46:04.080 --> 0:46:07.040
<v Speaker 5>because patience is something that I need a practice.

0:46:07.320 --> 0:46:10.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's something you have to cultivate too, like it

0:46:10.800 --> 0:46:14.680
<v Speaker 1>really is to Chelsea's point, it's a practice. It requires work.

0:46:14.719 --> 0:46:17.000
<v Speaker 1>It's like a muscle you have to build. And I

0:46:17.040 --> 0:46:19.880
<v Speaker 1>also think you know, for a lot of us that

0:46:19.920 --> 0:46:24.000
<v Speaker 1>are really justice minded, that can't kind of look away

0:46:24.160 --> 0:46:27.640
<v Speaker 1>from the news, it's also really important to do something

0:46:28.040 --> 0:46:32.880
<v Speaker 1>that isn't about activism, that isn't about learning a fact,

0:46:32.960 --> 0:46:36.440
<v Speaker 1>that isn't about having a conversation, but that gives you

0:46:37.200 --> 0:46:40.720
<v Speaker 1>a reminder of why those things matter to you. Like truly,

0:46:40.760 --> 0:46:43.959
<v Speaker 1>if you can figure out where the Feeding America food

0:46:44.000 --> 0:46:47.440
<v Speaker 1>pantry is closest to you, and like every other Sunday,

0:46:47.480 --> 0:46:50.040
<v Speaker 1>for two hours, go volunteer with some people you love.

0:46:50.800 --> 0:46:55.359
<v Speaker 1>It will shift your energy like therapy and service will

0:46:55.400 --> 0:46:58.240
<v Speaker 1>be the two greatest things that will shift your energy,

0:46:58.680 --> 0:47:01.920
<v Speaker 1>because when you get caught on the hamster wheel of

0:47:02.000 --> 0:47:04.040
<v Speaker 1>I always have to be doing or fixing or learning

0:47:04.200 --> 0:47:08.520
<v Speaker 1>or speaking, You're you're not existing, You're trying to solve

0:47:08.600 --> 0:47:10.879
<v Speaker 1>something all the time. And like that is a way

0:47:10.920 --> 0:47:14.719
<v Speaker 1>to stay in trauma. And so to go out and

0:47:14.760 --> 0:47:17.400
<v Speaker 1>like hang with your neighbors and serve a meal, or

0:47:17.840 --> 0:47:20.719
<v Speaker 1>go somewhere even with a family member you disagree with

0:47:20.800 --> 0:47:24.200
<v Speaker 1>and agree on something for an hour. It really it's

0:47:24.200 --> 0:47:26.920
<v Speaker 1>like a not to sound like the most la person,

0:47:26.920 --> 0:47:29.919
<v Speaker 1>but it's like a psychic kind of healing too, right.

0:47:30.080 --> 0:47:33.399
<v Speaker 5>I did start looking into volunteer opportunities, but then there

0:47:33.440 --> 0:47:36.560
<v Speaker 5>was one that was like political, climate change and all that,

0:47:36.600 --> 0:47:38.399
<v Speaker 5>and I was like, maybe maybe I shouldn't go there.

0:47:39.239 --> 0:47:41.080
<v Speaker 2>You're doing enough of that. You're doing enough of that.

0:47:41.440 --> 0:47:44.200
<v Speaker 5>Yeah. Yeah, So but I have looked into a few

0:47:44.480 --> 0:47:46.960
<v Speaker 5>volunteer opportunities and it is something that I thought would

0:47:47.000 --> 0:47:50.920
<v Speaker 5>nourish my soul. But I just, you know, ADHD procrastinated.

0:47:50.960 --> 0:47:51.560
<v Speaker 5>Haven't done it yet.

0:47:51.880 --> 0:47:54.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but that's great advice. Do that. Do that, look

0:47:54.840 --> 0:47:57.279
<v Speaker 2>for a therapist, go and just start getting this out

0:47:57.320 --> 0:47:59.640
<v Speaker 2>so that you're just you're just gonna bring yourself. You're

0:47:59.640 --> 0:48:02.239
<v Speaker 2>going to be so much more centered so that it

0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:04.600
<v Speaker 2>doesn't feel like this all the time, Like it's at

0:48:04.640 --> 0:48:07.239
<v Speaker 2>the level where it's going to fucking blow. Like I

0:48:07.400 --> 0:48:09.799
<v Speaker 2>know exactly what you're talking about, and you just want

0:48:09.800 --> 0:48:11.719
<v Speaker 2>to break you. You're going to be so much more

0:48:11.840 --> 0:48:14.680
<v Speaker 2>valuable to all the people in your life when you

0:48:14.800 --> 0:48:18.359
<v Speaker 2>are able to really ground yourself and center yourself right,

0:48:18.680 --> 0:48:20.879
<v Speaker 2>And that involves a lot of self awareness, and that's

0:48:20.920 --> 0:48:23.160
<v Speaker 2>where therapy comes in. You know, it's like the it's

0:48:23.360 --> 0:48:28.200
<v Speaker 2>it's like you're purchasing the gift of self awareness, right absolutely,

0:48:28.560 --> 0:48:32.000
<v Speaker 2>So I'm glad you called. I'm glad you called. I'm like, yeah,

0:48:32.000 --> 0:48:35.279
<v Speaker 2>this was perfect, perfect time, perfect guests for you to

0:48:35.280 --> 0:48:38.280
<v Speaker 2>speak with and you know, do what we say, okay,

0:48:38.520 --> 0:48:40.640
<v Speaker 2>And because we want you to be useful, we don't

0:48:40.640 --> 0:48:41.560
<v Speaker 2>want you to burn out.

0:48:41.880 --> 0:48:43.600
<v Speaker 5>Right right then, that's the main thing. I have been

0:48:43.640 --> 0:48:47.239
<v Speaker 5>operating at just this high frequency of just ready to

0:48:47.320 --> 0:48:50.160
<v Speaker 5>respond whenever I needed, like like almost like I'm ready

0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:52.600
<v Speaker 5>to be called the action. And that is exhausting.

0:48:53.040 --> 0:48:55.879
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, hypervigilance, Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

0:48:56.160 --> 0:49:00.719
<v Speaker 5>Hopefully we'll see better news ahead.

0:49:00.080 --> 0:49:05.080
<v Speaker 2>Let's hope. So that would be great news.

0:49:05.320 --> 0:49:07.640
<v Speaker 5>Would Yeah, we'll all get that text some day.

0:49:07.680 --> 0:49:10.319
<v Speaker 1>So, yes, we're all in it together, that's the thing.

0:49:10.800 --> 0:49:15.280
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, yes, and I do. I'm again great community

0:49:15.320 --> 0:49:17.640
<v Speaker 5>around me, and I'm leading on my friends more than ever.

0:49:18.320 --> 0:49:22.080
<v Speaker 5>It's just feeling it so deeply. I'm exhausted.

0:49:22.800 --> 0:49:23.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're lady.

0:49:24.160 --> 0:49:26.279
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, do you take solace in that.

0:49:26.800 --> 0:49:29.040
<v Speaker 2>Let's do it. Okay, keep us updated with your with

0:49:29.120 --> 0:49:29.680
<v Speaker 2>your progress.

0:49:29.719 --> 0:49:32.040
<v Speaker 5>Okay, absolutely, okay, thank you so much.

0:49:31.920 --> 0:49:36.600
<v Speaker 2>To meet you, k ry Katie. Yeah, oh god, I

0:49:36.640 --> 0:49:39.759
<v Speaker 2>mean that's she's speaking for half the world right now,

0:49:40.280 --> 0:49:43.320
<v Speaker 2>how everybody feels. Let's take a break and we'll be

0:49:43.400 --> 0:49:51.400
<v Speaker 2>right back with Sophia Bush. And we're back with Sepia Bush.

0:49:51.400 --> 0:49:52.880
<v Speaker 2>I do we have time for one more? Let's do

0:49:52.920 --> 0:49:55.240
<v Speaker 2>a little yeah, collar a quickie.

0:49:55.239 --> 0:49:56.920
<v Speaker 3>Well this one isn't a caller. I try to get

0:49:56.960 --> 0:49:59.560
<v Speaker 3>her a call in, but she is currently staying with

0:49:59.600 --> 0:50:02.080
<v Speaker 3>the person question, so I wasn't able to. So this

0:50:02.160 --> 0:50:04.920
<v Speaker 3>is a good, juicy one, she says. Dear Chelsea, this

0:50:05.000 --> 0:50:07.720
<v Speaker 3>is Shannon. I need some advice. I have a slow

0:50:07.760 --> 0:50:11.200
<v Speaker 3>burn crush on my long term best friend. I met

0:50:11.200 --> 0:50:13.560
<v Speaker 3>her eight years ago through work on a trip abroad

0:50:13.920 --> 0:50:15.719
<v Speaker 3>at the time, I was assigned to travel one on

0:50:15.719 --> 0:50:18.000
<v Speaker 3>one with her to visit business partners in another country.

0:50:18.320 --> 0:50:19.799
<v Speaker 3>She's a few years older than me, and I was

0:50:19.840 --> 0:50:23.400
<v Speaker 3>so attracted by her intelligence and powerful presence and confidence.

0:50:24.000 --> 0:50:25.719
<v Speaker 3>Every time we went out for dinner, I would get

0:50:25.760 --> 0:50:29.040
<v Speaker 3>butterflies whenever I made her laugh. However, my stomach dropped

0:50:29.080 --> 0:50:31.080
<v Speaker 3>when she said I reminded her of her favorite gay,

0:50:31.120 --> 0:50:34.000
<v Speaker 3>younger brother. At that point, she also had a long

0:50:34.040 --> 0:50:36.320
<v Speaker 3>term boyfriend and I assumed she was straight, so my

0:50:36.400 --> 0:50:39.480
<v Speaker 3>crush faded, and we've developed a solid friendship over the years,

0:50:39.640 --> 0:50:42.320
<v Speaker 3>going on trips and I visited her a few times.

0:50:42.680 --> 0:50:45.120
<v Speaker 3>I never thought much more of these feelings because she

0:50:45.160 --> 0:50:48.160
<v Speaker 3>was always in a relationship. Two years ago she ended

0:50:48.200 --> 0:50:50.640
<v Speaker 3>things with her boyfriend, and last year she told me

0:50:50.680 --> 0:50:53.680
<v Speaker 3>she was attracted to women and wasn't completely straight, although

0:50:53.760 --> 0:50:56.719
<v Speaker 3>I don't think she has explored this since. After staying

0:50:56.760 --> 0:50:59.200
<v Speaker 3>with her for a month, my feelings came rushing back,

0:50:59.400 --> 0:51:01.840
<v Speaker 3>and since then I've moved to her city for work,

0:51:02.360 --> 0:51:04.200
<v Speaker 3>living in the same place for the first time. We've

0:51:04.200 --> 0:51:06.520
<v Speaker 3>been spending a lot of time together and my feelings

0:51:06.520 --> 0:51:09.960
<v Speaker 3>for her and those butterflies are only growing. Sometimes when

0:51:09.960 --> 0:51:12.800
<v Speaker 3>we're together, I catch myself thinking my girlfriend and quickly

0:51:12.800 --> 0:51:14.480
<v Speaker 3>remind myself that she's just my friend.

0:51:15.000 --> 0:51:15.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm torn.

0:51:15.719 --> 0:51:17.759
<v Speaker 3>On the one hand, I feel this intense attraction and

0:51:17.840 --> 0:51:19.919
<v Speaker 3>just want to be around her more. On the other

0:51:20.120 --> 0:51:20.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm unsure.

0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:21.839
<v Speaker 2>If she feels the same way.

0:51:22.239 --> 0:51:24.719
<v Speaker 3>She's a generally flirty person, so sometimes I wonder if

0:51:24.760 --> 0:51:27.120
<v Speaker 3>it's just me reading too much into things. I don't

0:51:27.120 --> 0:51:29.280
<v Speaker 3>want to risk ruining our friendship or making things awkward,

0:51:29.320 --> 0:51:31.200
<v Speaker 3>but I also don't want to look back and wonder,

0:51:31.239 --> 0:51:32.480
<v Speaker 3>what if what should I do?

0:51:32.560 --> 0:51:36.280
<v Speaker 2>Chelsea Shannon, Well, you know what I'm going to say, Sophia,

0:51:36.360 --> 0:51:37.200
<v Speaker 2>what are you going to say?

0:51:37.280 --> 0:51:38.560
<v Speaker 1>No, I want to know what you're going to say.

0:51:38.600 --> 0:51:40.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to say, go for it. Always go for it.

0:51:40.840 --> 0:51:43.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, hello, I don't like when people wait around

0:51:43.520 --> 0:51:45.880
<v Speaker 2>for things. You know, it's your life. You got to

0:51:45.920 --> 0:51:49.040
<v Speaker 2>grab it, grab life by the balls, get after what

0:51:49.120 --> 0:51:51.240
<v Speaker 2>you want. And if she doesn't feel the same way,

0:51:51.400 --> 0:51:54.200
<v Speaker 2>that's not a loss, that's like, oh okay, it's a disappointment.

0:51:54.800 --> 0:51:57.800
<v Speaker 2>Then you know, then you have even more information moving forward,

0:51:58.040 --> 0:52:00.560
<v Speaker 2>so she's not an option moving forward, and then you

0:52:00.640 --> 0:52:02.040
<v Speaker 2>like and then you can decide if you want to

0:52:02.040 --> 0:52:04.600
<v Speaker 2>spend time with her, but like, always go for it.

0:52:04.719 --> 0:52:06.319
<v Speaker 2>I feel, what do you think?

0:52:07.560 --> 0:52:13.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think there's nothing worse than to wonder, you know,

0:52:13.600 --> 0:52:16.200
<v Speaker 1>and listen, I think all of us we were talking

0:52:16.239 --> 0:52:18.400
<v Speaker 1>earlier about hindsight, like you look back and you go, oh,

0:52:18.400 --> 0:52:20.399
<v Speaker 1>maybe I should have let myself wonder about that one,

0:52:20.840 --> 0:52:23.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, Like, but but if you had, who knows

0:52:23.600 --> 0:52:26.480
<v Speaker 1>what would have happened? And I think I think, no

0:52:26.560 --> 0:52:30.800
<v Speaker 1>matter what, to throw yourself toward what you want to

0:52:31.440 --> 0:52:35.200
<v Speaker 1>be willing to risk for love, Like what else are

0:52:35.239 --> 0:52:39.520
<v Speaker 1>we here for? And so yeah, I kind of think

0:52:39.560 --> 0:52:42.520
<v Speaker 1>it harkens back to the way you advised our first

0:52:42.560 --> 0:52:46.719
<v Speaker 1>caller to you know, maybe don't read that whole letter

0:52:46.760 --> 0:52:51.000
<v Speaker 1>to this person, but just say, hey, I could be

0:52:51.080 --> 0:52:54.440
<v Speaker 1>off base. I feel like there's a little bit of

0:52:54.480 --> 0:52:57.560
<v Speaker 1>a shift in our dynamic. I don't know, it feels

0:52:57.600 --> 0:53:00.640
<v Speaker 1>like there's something else going on here. And if I'm

0:53:00.680 --> 0:53:03.960
<v Speaker 1>misreading it, we can pretend we never had this conversation.

0:53:04.040 --> 0:53:05.040
<v Speaker 2>But if I'm not, I want to.

0:53:05.040 --> 0:53:05.839
<v Speaker 5>Talk about it.

0:53:06.440 --> 0:53:10.920
<v Speaker 1>And I'm kind of liking it, and like, just see,

0:53:11.680 --> 0:53:16.960
<v Speaker 1>I think it's always worth saying is there something happening here?

0:53:17.320 --> 0:53:19.840
<v Speaker 1>If there is what might happen next?

0:53:20.200 --> 0:53:24.799
<v Speaker 2>Like, also one thing to think about is like I

0:53:24.880 --> 0:53:26.920
<v Speaker 2>understand you want to preserve the relationship and that you

0:53:26.960 --> 0:53:29.320
<v Speaker 2>don't want to ruin the relationship in case she doesn't

0:53:29.480 --> 0:53:33.280
<v Speaker 2>have those mutual feelings. But when you go after something

0:53:33.320 --> 0:53:35.840
<v Speaker 2>in life and the reason, the thing that's stopping you

0:53:35.960 --> 0:53:38.680
<v Speaker 2>is what if it's what if the answers know, then

0:53:38.719 --> 0:53:40.279
<v Speaker 2>you're not going to find out a lot of things

0:53:40.280 --> 0:53:43.000
<v Speaker 2>in life, like you have to be ready to accept

0:53:43.040 --> 0:53:45.360
<v Speaker 2>a no. Then you now you have the truth, and

0:53:45.400 --> 0:53:46.880
<v Speaker 2>then you could move on with your life in a

0:53:46.880 --> 0:53:50.000
<v Speaker 2>different way and knowing she's not an option. So it's

0:53:50.040 --> 0:53:53.120
<v Speaker 2>like thinking that, oh, what if the answers know if

0:53:53.120 --> 0:53:55.319
<v Speaker 2>this guy, if I bring up our relationship in this

0:53:55.400 --> 0:53:57.440
<v Speaker 2>guy doesn't want to be in a relationship with me

0:53:57.480 --> 0:53:59.879
<v Speaker 2>from our earlier caller, he doesn't want to go from

0:53:59.880 --> 0:54:01.799
<v Speaker 2>a booty call to something more serious. Okay, Well then

0:54:02.000 --> 0:54:05.400
<v Speaker 2>you have that information. That's an advantage, not a disadvantage.

0:54:05.560 --> 0:54:07.080
<v Speaker 2>So we all have to look at nose with a

0:54:07.120 --> 0:54:10.520
<v Speaker 2>more positive outlook, Like that's one step closer to getting

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:11.200
<v Speaker 2>where you're going.

0:54:11.880 --> 0:54:12.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:54:12.520 --> 0:54:14.439
<v Speaker 3>One thing that also like just popped into my mind

0:54:14.560 --> 0:54:17.440
<v Speaker 3>is like every woman who dates other women that I know,

0:54:17.800 --> 0:54:19.880
<v Speaker 3>Like if there is like a dating situation and they

0:54:19.880 --> 0:54:23.319
<v Speaker 3>break up, like generally people stay friends, you know what

0:54:23.360 --> 0:54:25.839
<v Speaker 3>I mean. Like women often stay friends with exes who

0:54:25.880 --> 0:54:29.600
<v Speaker 3>are other women in my experience, so I don't think

0:54:29.640 --> 0:54:30.239
<v Speaker 3>it's a bad thing.

0:54:30.520 --> 0:54:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's the theme of today's episode. Everybody, go for it. Okay.

0:54:33.719 --> 0:54:35.960
<v Speaker 2>The whole world could end in about fucking six months.

0:54:36.000 --> 0:54:38.600
<v Speaker 2>We don't know what the fuck's gonna happen, so definitely

0:54:38.680 --> 0:54:40.799
<v Speaker 2>get after it. Go for it. Make sure you tune

0:54:40.840 --> 0:54:43.799
<v Speaker 2>into Sofia's podcast if you're not already a listener. It's

0:54:43.800 --> 0:54:47.000
<v Speaker 2>called Work in Progress and her new movie is coming

0:54:47.000 --> 0:54:49.080
<v Speaker 2>out in June, and it's up to you to go

0:54:49.200 --> 0:54:49.719
<v Speaker 2>find it.

0:54:51.960 --> 0:54:52.160
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:54:52.560 --> 0:54:55.000
<v Speaker 2>We did it, We did it. I got so I'll

0:54:55.000 --> 0:54:55.480
<v Speaker 2>see you soon.

0:54:55.960 --> 0:54:57.600
<v Speaker 1>You, I will see you soon.

0:54:58.400 --> 0:55:01.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay. My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates

0:55:01.600 --> 0:55:07.560
<v Speaker 2>for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be

0:55:07.600 --> 0:55:12.200
<v Speaker 2>in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth.

0:55:12.239 --> 0:55:15.120
<v Speaker 2>We will be the next date that I'm there, July fifth,

0:55:15.160 --> 0:55:20.080
<v Speaker 2>August thirtieth, and then November one and twenty ninth. November

0:55:20.120 --> 0:55:23.520
<v Speaker 2>one and November twenty ninth, I will be in Las

0:55:23.640 --> 0:55:27.480
<v Speaker 2>Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.

0:55:27.680 --> 0:55:30.480
<v Speaker 2>It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

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<v Speaker 3>Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find

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<v Speaker 3>full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

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<v Speaker 3>at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered

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<v Speaker 3>by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure

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<v Speaker 3>to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com.