1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,280
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, It's Sophia Bush, host of the podcast Work

2
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,840
Speaker 1: in Progress. I started Work in Progress because I'm a

3
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,960
Speaker 1: curious person, and I realized there are so many people

4
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,240
Speaker 1: I get to speak to that are fascinating and rare,

5
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,720
Speaker 1: and so I thought, why not take these conversations out

6
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,799
Speaker 1: into the world. You can join us and listen to

7
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:27,120
Speaker 1: Work in Progress on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

8
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts.

9
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:35,400
Speaker 2: Hi, Catherine, Oh hello, Jelsey. Hi, I'm fresh off the boat.

10
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,280
Speaker 2: Fresh out the boat from Greece.

11
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,000
Speaker 3: I mean, you're even wearing a Chloe White shirt.

12
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,040
Speaker 2: Like headed back to Europe as soon as we get

13
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,440
Speaker 2: we were done with this, I'm going back. No, we

14
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,440
Speaker 2: actually did take a boat to Greece. We took a

15
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,400
Speaker 2: ferry boat from Athens to Paros, which was like three

16
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,680
Speaker 2: and a half hours. Oh yeah, So, and then I

17
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,360
Speaker 2: took the flight back. I took a flight from Paros

18
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 2: to Athens, and so I can't decide which one was

19
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,560
Speaker 2: more unpleasant, the flight or the boat.

20
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,000
Speaker 3: Was the flight bumpy?

21
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,000
Speaker 2: No, it was just the airport. You know when there're

22
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,559
Speaker 2: those little, small, tiny airports and there's like a line

23
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,479
Speaker 2: and it takes like an hour to check in and

24
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,640
Speaker 2: there's nobody really there. It was just one of those.

25
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,360
Speaker 2: It was fine, we got there safely. I think that's

26
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:21,360
Speaker 2: probably the most important thing, but I'm not positive. I'm

27
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,720
Speaker 2: not positive that's the most important thing, but I think

28
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,720
Speaker 2: it might be the most important thing. I announced three dates.

29
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,080
Speaker 2: I'm doing three more stand up dates to close out

30
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,479
Speaker 2: the year because I decided that I wanted to spread

31
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,839
Speaker 2: a little bit more of joy and sunshine around this country.

32
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,840
Speaker 2: Since you know, things are in such a good place.

33
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,080
Speaker 3: We need a little escapism.

34
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,560
Speaker 2: Yes, So aside from my Vegas residency, my next date

35
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,120
Speaker 2: is July fifth, I'll be in Vegas, everybody, so hopefully

36
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,440
Speaker 2: you'll be joining me there. I'm going to do West

37
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,440
Speaker 2: Hampton Beach, New York on August twenty first. Then I'm

38
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,280
Speaker 2: going to headline the Fringe, a festival in Rochester, New

39
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,720
Speaker 2: York on September third, and then I'm going to be

40
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,720
Speaker 2: in Napa, California on October third. So I'm just adding

41
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,200
Speaker 2: those three dates. It's it's not like a tour. I'm

42
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,960
Speaker 2: just doing some stand up to round out the year.

43
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,080
Speaker 2: So I hope you get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com.

44
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,640
Speaker 3: And it's fresh material, right.

45
00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,880
Speaker 2: It's all new material. It's all a lot of LSD

46
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,639
Speaker 2: in there, a lot of stuff that we've touched upon

47
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 2: on the show, and a lot of me smuggling LSD

48
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,360
Speaker 2: from country to country. Basically, I've just started leaving stashues

49
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,280
Speaker 2: in different countries that I visit so that I don't

50
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,440
Speaker 2: have to keep continue traveling with it. Now that I'm

51
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,799
Speaker 2: talking about it so publicly on stage. I mean I've

52
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,040
Speaker 2: always talked about it publicly, but on stage specifically, I'm like, Okay,

53
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,840
Speaker 2: I better stop talking about it and also continuing to

54
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:38,480
Speaker 2: carry it with you.

55
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, traveling with it is not that's.

56
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,919
Speaker 2: The That's probably not the best idea.

57
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,320
Speaker 3: It's is going to be there waiting for you when

58
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,480
Speaker 3: you get there. That's perfect.

59
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,639
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, So I'm assuming that at some point

60
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,079
Speaker 2: I'll be on some sort of list that will prevent

61
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:55,000
Speaker 2: me from returning to my homeland. I'm just making that assumption.

62
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,760
Speaker 2: But I've been to so many countries already and it's

63
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,680
Speaker 2: only June. I'm so excited. But I'm getting surgery when

64
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,320
Speaker 2: I get back on July seventh. I'm getting foot surgery

65
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,400
Speaker 2: on my little bunyan net I'm calling it a bunyan

66
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,720
Speaker 2: net because it makes it sound cuter.

67
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,079
Speaker 3: It's much cuter. Did your ear little toast spacers didn't

68
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:10,600
Speaker 3: do the trick?

69
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,320
Speaker 2: Now, the toast spacers probably would work if you're like

70
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,880
Speaker 2: twenty and you're really trying to nip it in the bud.

71
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,400
Speaker 2: I bet those are helpful. But I'm fifty and mine

72
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,240
Speaker 2: isn't on the inside of my foot. It's on the

73
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,720
Speaker 2: outside of my foot. I think it's related to my

74
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,079
Speaker 2: knee injury because I like lean a certain way on

75
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,920
Speaker 2: one leg, so I just can't look at it like that,

76
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,640
Speaker 2: I mean, and so I have to remove it. And

77
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,280
Speaker 2: it's apparently a little bit of a hectic recovery. But

78
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,080
Speaker 2: we'll see, we'll see. I like recoveries.

79
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you get to like take a bunch of fun

80
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,680
Speaker 3: drugs and like chill it home. Yeah, unless I'm making

81
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,640
Speaker 3: you work, because I'm like, you want to just schedule

82
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,040
Speaker 3: a bunch of podcasts while you're well.

83
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,800
Speaker 2: Ideally that would be me walking downstairs. But apparently my

84
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,400
Speaker 2: house will not be ready. For the fiftieth time in

85
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,720
Speaker 2: my life, my house is not ready for move in.

86
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,200
Speaker 2: I just got that news. It did not go over well,

87
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,360
Speaker 2: but we are in the home stretch.

88
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,960
Speaker 3: I'm being told, Oh, I'm very happy to hear that

89
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,040
Speaker 3: for you.

90
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,440
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Cheles. It's really tough to be displaced for

91
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,960
Speaker 2: that long, and the gross and competence of it all

92
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,120
Speaker 2: is just mind boggling. I know, it's unreal. I can't

93
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,800
Speaker 2: believe it. I can't. I mean, I can't believe I'm

94
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,680
Speaker 2: even still talking about it. It's just absolutely absurd. My

95
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,479
Speaker 2: family's like, why don't you talk to a therapist? I'm like,

96
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,880
Speaker 2: about my house? You want me to talk to a

97
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,520
Speaker 2: therapist about my house? I did, actually a year ago.

98
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,600
Speaker 2: I had a conversation. It should I have the same

99
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,760
Speaker 2: fucking conversation I had one year ago. For some reason,

100
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,760
Speaker 2: I'm so resentful every time something happens with a house.

101
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:41,679
Speaker 2: I'm so angry towards my family. Like I'm like, I'm

102
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,160
Speaker 2: always the one who's getting everybody out of bad situations.

103
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,800
Speaker 2: Yet here I am, and no one's getting me out

104
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,279
Speaker 2: of this situation. I keep waiting for someone to come

105
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,719
Speaker 2: and rescue me, but oh my god, no one's rescuing me.

106
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,600
Speaker 3: I mean, if anyone out there has advice on how

107
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,080
Speaker 3: to get RFK Judu out of a home. Have you

108
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,240
Speaker 3: tried a priest?

109
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,680
Speaker 2: I I haven't tried an exorcism, but I did have

110
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,160
Speaker 2: a healer and like a house cleanser come by that

111
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,479
Speaker 2: obviously didn't take. And I'm now in a lawsuit with

112
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,360
Speaker 2: my prior contractor. So it's just just the hitscheets on coming.

113
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,880
Speaker 2: But listen, you know what, It's just a house, and

114
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,919
Speaker 2: I have other homes, and obviously I don't I don't whatever.

115
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,200
Speaker 2: I can't complain about my life, so I won't continue to.

116
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,440
Speaker 3: Well, you know what, pretty soon you'll be out of

117
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,720
Speaker 3: the country anyway, and you'll have to be in Canada

118
00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:27,920
Speaker 3: or Spain, so it'll you know, it'll just come on

119
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:28,600
Speaker 3: the wash, right.

120
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm heading out here from as soon as we

121
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,919
Speaker 2: get off today, I'm going up to Boston. I'm gonna

122
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:38,080
Speaker 2: record mel Robins's podcast tomorrow morning. Nice nice, uh huh.

123
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 2: And they gave me instructions, specific instructions not to arrive

124
00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:46,120
Speaker 2: early because there's no waiting room. Well that's delightful, thank

125
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,040
Speaker 2: you for that warm, warm welcome.

126
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,000
Speaker 3: That's the worst thing they can say to a person

127
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:51,920
Speaker 3: who's always early.

128
00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:57,719
Speaker 2: God, yeah, I know exactly who's our guest this week?

129
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,920
Speaker 3: Oh, our guest this week is your buddy, Sophia Bush.

130
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:06,600
Speaker 2: Oh Bush, She's a bush lover. Sophia Bush Lover is

131
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,000
Speaker 2: our guest this week. This week, I was gonna say

132
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,320
Speaker 2: this weekend, I'm already in Glastonbury in my head. Yeah,

133
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,960
Speaker 2: Sophia Bush. Oh, this is a great interview. I'm excited.

134
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,960
Speaker 3: Yes. And her new movie The Stranger in My Home

135
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,479
Speaker 3: is out now on video on demand.

136
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:27,600
Speaker 2: Love it. Hi guys, Oh baby, it's your baby. Hi, baby,

137
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,760
Speaker 2: baby baby, Hi. Videyback ribs.

138
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,760
Speaker 4: How are you and good?

139
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:32,400
Speaker 2: What are you doing?

140
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:33,120
Speaker 4: Oh?

141
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,920
Speaker 2: You know, just getting ready to talk to you. I've

142
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,080
Speaker 2: been seeing a lot of you. Actually, we've been seeing

143
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:39,839
Speaker 2: a lot of each other.

144
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,039
Speaker 1: Yes, well, not as much as I would like, but

145
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 1: it has been fun to do well.

146
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,279
Speaker 2: It's never enough. It's never enough. Congrats on your interview

147
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,640
Speaker 2: with Michelle Obama on Sophia's podcast Work in Progress. She

148
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,760
Speaker 2: did a two part episode with Michelle Obama that was

149
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,080
Speaker 2: all over the place and it was a fucking great interview.

150
00:06:58,640 --> 00:06:59,040
Speaker 4: Thank you.

151
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,480
Speaker 1: It's so much fun. It's like hanging with her for

152
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,159
Speaker 1: that section of time, you know, felt a lot like

153
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,680
Speaker 1: when we all get together, like it's it's crazy to

154
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,840
Speaker 1: you know, look up to someone like her for so long,

155
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,200
Speaker 1: and to watch the way she navigates the global stage

156
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,440
Speaker 1: and then to like hang out and wish you had

157
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,960
Speaker 1: a cocktail to shoot the shit. I was like, God,

158
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,640
Speaker 1: the world must forget that you're also just this wonderful human.

159
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,040
Speaker 1: You don't always have to be like a leader or

160
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:33,760
Speaker 1: a figurehead. She's funny and sassy and has such great

161
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,240
Speaker 1: advice about life and love and parenting and all the things,

162
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,400
Speaker 1: and it was really cool.

163
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think she does. It's so annoying

164
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,760
Speaker 2: when everybody always, like, you know, I'm in Canada, Everyone's like,

165
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,960
Speaker 2: why can't Michelle Obama run? I'm like, Michelle Obama doesn't

166
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,000
Speaker 2: want to be the fucking president of the United States.

167
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,760
Speaker 2: She didn't want anything to do with it the first

168
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,000
Speaker 2: eight years, like as if it's her responsibility to run.

169
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,200
Speaker 2: And I always just think about how annoying that must

170
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,280
Speaker 2: be for her to constantly hear that, as if it's

171
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,320
Speaker 2: that simple, you know, as if she's just supposed to

172
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 2: give away the next eight years of her life.

173
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:04,840
Speaker 5: Yeah.

174
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:09,920
Speaker 1: I think people don't understand what a service is required

175
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:15,400
Speaker 1: to be in public office, like any sort of real

176
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:19,480
Speaker 1: political organizing takes so much work, and you certainly can

177
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,720
Speaker 1: become a target for things. You have to give up

178
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,400
Speaker 1: a lot of things when you run for office. It's

179
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,320
Speaker 1: like it's not a one plus one equals two situation.

180
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,840
Speaker 1: It's like to the power of fifty. Everything is amplified

181
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:36,000
Speaker 1: and enlarged, and at the same time your life really shrinks.

182
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,680
Speaker 1: And I think people I don't know, probably because the

183
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,760
Speaker 1: internet's full of trolls who say shitty things that travel

184
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,240
Speaker 1: very far. But people are like, oh, yeah, you know,

185
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,480
Speaker 1: they're doing it for the money or the exposure. And

186
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, they don't make any money and they literally

187
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,600
Speaker 1: can't go outside, like like she can't go for a

188
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:58,240
Speaker 1: walk anymore without guards. So everybody take it just relax.

189
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like she's really kind of, you know, since

190
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,880
Speaker 2: she left office, also really letting her hair down and

191
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,160
Speaker 2: being more of herself to the public and yeah, which

192
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,240
Speaker 2: is really you know, she doesn't have to do that either.

193
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,520
Speaker 2: She doesn't have to like bother with at the public.

194
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,920
Speaker 2: She doesn't have to do anything. But when I mean,

195
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,160
Speaker 2: that's just how devoted they are to public service, is

196
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,920
Speaker 2: that they all are over you know, they're always involved.

197
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,040
Speaker 1: I think so and I really think it's also something

198
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,400
Speaker 1: when you have to bite your tongue for so long,

199
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,960
Speaker 1: when you have to put your you know, sort of

200
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:35,280
Speaker 1: professionalism or decorum first. I think, yes, decorum is something

201
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,600
Speaker 1: we should aspire to have, especially in public life. I

202
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,559
Speaker 1: think they are people of incredible class and integrity, and

203
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,520
Speaker 1: I think eventually it gets really tiresome to always have

204
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:50,440
Speaker 1: to be quiet or be perfect or whatever. And She's

205
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,040
Speaker 1: kind of like, guys, I'm also just a lady and

206
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have cocktails with my girlfriends, i want to

207
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,560
Speaker 1: go play tennis. My kids are out of the house.

208
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go visit them, and then I'm going to

209
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,959
Speaker 1: enjoy my life like this.

210
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:01,520
Speaker 5: Is my time.

211
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,040
Speaker 1: And I think, I know, that's such an exciting example

212
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,480
Speaker 1: for me to see among my friends. Imagine the power

213
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,679
Speaker 1: that you know, a former first lady has to do that,

214
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,800
Speaker 1: let alone one with like Princeton and Harvard degrees. Who

215
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,640
Speaker 1: I mean, she's just like the coolest person.

216
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, she really is the coolest person. Let's talk about

217
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,760
Speaker 2: your cool person. Tell me how that feels to be

218
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,040
Speaker 2: a hot considered a hot lesbian.

219
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,480
Speaker 1: Quite an honor. I mean, you know what's funny is

220
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,040
Speaker 1: you do this weird math like if you're dating, if

221
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,679
Speaker 1: you're a woman dating men, nobody wants to talk to

222
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,000
Speaker 1: you about your sexuality. They just want to either say

223
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,719
Speaker 1: like you're a prude or a slot. You know, if

224
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,160
Speaker 1: you date too much, they criticize you. If you don't date,

225
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,040
Speaker 1: you must be frigid, whatever. And then the thing that

226
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,440
Speaker 1: gets added when you're actually more fluid with your sexuality

227
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,560
Speaker 1: is the swing goes from nobody gives a shit who

228
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,760
Speaker 1: you're sleeping with too. You better identify exactly who you

229
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,800
Speaker 1: are so we can figure out what name to call you.

230
00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,560
Speaker 1: And it's like okay, And you know, I sort of

231
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,360
Speaker 1: looked around and was like, has nobody been paying attention

232
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,240
Speaker 1: to like all the hot girls I've been kissing on

233
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,599
Speaker 1: camera and like, you know, maybe not in front of

234
00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,720
Speaker 1: you off camera, but Hi, I've always been here.

235
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,120
Speaker 2: Right, But let's talk about that a little because that's

236
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,040
Speaker 2: that seems to be the kind of calculus or the

237
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,680
Speaker 2: consensus now that we have some retrospection of the election,

238
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,360
Speaker 2: and yeah, and people are talking about the identity politics

239
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,000
Speaker 2: of the left, and I know you talk a lot,

240
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 2: you know, we both talk a lot politically together and

241
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:30,120
Speaker 2: you know, without each other what is your view on

242
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,240
Speaker 2: that of us focusing so much? Because my view is like,

243
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,520
Speaker 2: when we say, oh, you guys focused too much on

244
00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,079
Speaker 2: the trans issue, you guys were too inclusive. It didn't

245
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,120
Speaker 2: have to be like that big of an issue, and

246
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,040
Speaker 2: it was like, well, but trans people were starting to

247
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,520
Speaker 2: have problems with other people and there were lawsuits and

248
00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:49,800
Speaker 2: somebody has to get on the side of that, like

249
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,000
Speaker 2: on the right side of things. So it wasn't like

250
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,800
Speaker 2: it wasn't like liberals were like, oh my god, what's

251
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,160
Speaker 2: another issue we can tackle that's going to be really

252
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:01,520
Speaker 2: exclusionary to white supremacis. Oh, trans people will go be

253
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:05,000
Speaker 2: with them. That's not how it happened. Now, how do

254
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,120
Speaker 2: you think about when you reflect about that issue and

255
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,280
Speaker 2: LGBTQ rights issues and the left being too focused on that.

256
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,120
Speaker 2: In many people's opinions, I.

257
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,880
Speaker 1: Think it's all just such bullshit, Chelsea. Honestly, it's like,

258
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,680
Speaker 1: what do you mean, we're too focused on being nice

259
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,520
Speaker 1: to people? What the fuck are you talking about? And

260
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,200
Speaker 1: we're not too focused. To be clear, the Trump campaign

261
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,199
Speaker 1: spent something like it was either twenty seven million or

262
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,640
Speaker 1: fifty seven million dollars on those ads that were like

263
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:40,559
Speaker 1: she's for they them, and I'm for you, Like, ew,

264
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,280
Speaker 1: you fucking creepy sexual predator, stop talking about people's genitalia.

265
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,920
Speaker 1: They they have outsized an issue.

266
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,520
Speaker 5: In a way that makes me so sad.

267
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,559
Speaker 1: You know, just this week they're ranting on Fox News

268
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,800
Speaker 1: about like, oh, you know, all the athletes are trans,

269
00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,560
Speaker 1: and it's like there are less than ten trans athletes

270
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,480
Speaker 1: out of five hundred and ten thousand athletes in the

271
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,920
Speaker 1: NC DOUBLEA leave these people alone. Like to be the

272
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,480
Speaker 1: smallest and most vulnerable group in the world and to

273
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 1: constantly have people project all their shit and fear and

274
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,679
Speaker 1: anger at you, It's it's not only traumatizing for people,

275
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,760
Speaker 1: it's so dangerous. And when you start seeing these these

276
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:31,360
Speaker 1: rollbacks of protections, you know, homosexuality being criminalized in Trinidad

277
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,439
Speaker 1: and Tobago this year, when you see right wingers literally

278
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:40,120
Speaker 1: trying to encourage the Supreme Court to overturn marriage equality, Like,

279
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,800
Speaker 1: let me be clear, I've tried that with some dudes

280
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,960
Speaker 1: who turned out not to be great. I deserve to

281
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,360
Speaker 1: try to just to be just as miserable with any

282
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,200
Speaker 1: fucking woman of my choosing as I was in my past.

283
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,280
Speaker 1: Like what you think the lesbians don't deserve to be

284
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,440
Speaker 1: as unhappy as you all, like shut up, and it's

285
00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,440
Speaker 1: you know, joking aside. It's like a right. It doesn't

286
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,760
Speaker 1: matter if it's not a right for everyone, because then

287
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,480
Speaker 1: you're not concerned with freedom. This is something Tim Wallace

288
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,760
Speaker 1: says a lot. He goes, you know, you can't say

289
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,880
Speaker 1: you're concerned with freedom and then try to deny freedoms

290
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,520
Speaker 1: for people, then what you really want is privilege, and

291
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,520
Speaker 1: like for what, And I don't know why the right

292
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:25,600
Speaker 1: has been able to so effectively weaponize the idea that

293
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:30,240
Speaker 1: a quality is somehow an attack, Like it's not, guys,

294
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,040
Speaker 1: I hate to tell you you, maga folks, nobody's thinking

295
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,360
Speaker 1: about you that much. We're all just trying to like

296
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,720
Speaker 1: raise our kids and pay our bills and do our shit.

297
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,080
Speaker 1: I don't care whose marriage makes you uncomfortable. Don't be

298
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,200
Speaker 1: in a marriage that makes you uncomfortable, and move along

299
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,400
Speaker 1: with your day. Same for people's healthcare, same for how

300
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,320
Speaker 1: people live. Like, maybe if you stop running around with

301
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:53,560
Speaker 1: baseball bats, attacking people antiki torches and beating up cops,

302
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 1: like you could just live peacefully in whatever weird way

303
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:01,200
Speaker 1: you want to live, Like we're they're living well and

304
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:05,000
Speaker 1: kindly like back off. I just don't. I don't want

305
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,239
Speaker 1: to fall into the trap that we're supposed to abandon

306
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:11,520
Speaker 1: people to somehow seem more neutral, Like neutrality never got

307
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,880
Speaker 1: anybody anywhere.

308
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 2: That's true. How do you feel about everything?

309
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:15,720
Speaker 4: Like?

310
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:20,560
Speaker 2: What are you? What's your state of mind right now? Politically? I?

311
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:30,720
Speaker 1: Oh, man, I think things are very bad, and I

312
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,800
Speaker 1: think they're moving in such a terrible direction at such

313
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,440
Speaker 1: speed that in a way, a lot of people are

314
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,520
Speaker 1: looking around going look, I know it's a lot of noise,

315
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,080
Speaker 1: but nothing's really happening. And I'm like, you don't get

316
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,080
Speaker 1: where you're going to be in eighteen months, Like if

317
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,600
Speaker 1: as retribution because Gavin Newsom won't kiss the ring, Donald

318
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 1: Trump clearcuts all of California's forests, Like do you understand

319
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,120
Speaker 1: what that's going to do? Not just to California, to

320
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,240
Speaker 1: the nation. You know, this guy wanted to crash the

321
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,720
Speaker 1: stock markets. His friends could make hundreds of billions of

322
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 1: dollars and he said so in the Oval Office and

323
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,840
Speaker 1: bragged about it, and you know, pointed out how many

324
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 1: billions they all made when he went JK, no tariffs.

325
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 1: It's like I just want to know, honestly, how Martha

326
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,600
Speaker 1: Stewart feels about it. I'm like, bitch, you went to

327
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 1: prison for so much less, Like how are you doing

328
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 1: in Bedford? Are you mad? Are you getting stoned? Are

329
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,320
Speaker 1: you laughing?

330
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 4: Like?

331
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:24,040
Speaker 1: What is going on here? It's it's so crazy And

332
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:29,560
Speaker 1: what's coming? You know, the the RFK at you know HHS,

333
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 1: and the dismantling of lead protection teams at the CDC,

334
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,680
Speaker 1: and like, I mean, it's about to get like so bad.

335
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 2: And what would be the motivation for them poisoning people?

336
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,880
Speaker 2: Because that's effectively what they're doing by dismantling these agencies,

337
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,680
Speaker 2: Like people are going to get sick and die. What

338
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 2: would be the advantage? What would their mo be going

339
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 2: into that?

340
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,800
Speaker 1: They want everybody to get sick and die, Chelsea. And

341
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,240
Speaker 1: I know that might sound crazy, but you're not trying

342
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:03,280
Speaker 1: to defund Medicare if you don't want people to die,

343
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,959
Speaker 1: because dead people are less expensive to take care of.

344
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,159
Speaker 1: They don't care. These are people who have, you know,

345
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 1: the fifty thousand dollars a year concierge doctor who flies

346
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,240
Speaker 1: to them. These are people who who have now the

347
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:20,639
Speaker 1: whole White House medical apparatus. Serving as their own personal dispensary.

348
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw that writer's article about

349
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,400
Speaker 1: how during the last Trump administration they were handing out

350
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:30,119
Speaker 1: like I mean, amphetamines, opioids, like they were just prescribing

351
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:31,879
Speaker 1: shit to people who worked in the White House like

352
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,040
Speaker 1: willy nilly. They're going to get what they need, just

353
00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 1: like any mistress of Donald Trump who's ever been pregnant

354
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,440
Speaker 1: that he's wanted to have an abortion has had one allegedly,

355
00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 1: you know, allegedly allegedly. I'm like, I'm not about to

356
00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,840
Speaker 1: get sued for calling an adjudicated rapist or rapist like

357
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 1: what a ridiculous man he is and clearly a tyrant.

358
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,320
Speaker 1: But they're going to get what they need. They just

359
00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,840
Speaker 1: don't care. They don't care if your you know, elderly

360
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 1: grandparent doesn't get their Social Security check because if they did,

361
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,560
Speaker 1: they wouldn't be Supposedly, this hit the news last week,

362
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,679
Speaker 1: moving all the comms for Social Security onto Twitter, like

363
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 1: what what eighty year olds know how to use x

364
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 1: dot com? Like the shock and awe is the goal,

365
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 1: And you see it in the way that they behave,

366
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 1: in what they're doing and in how they talk about people. Right,

367
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:29,119
Speaker 1: Like you see the way Donald Trump loves Putin, He

368
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 1: loves dictators. He says, you know, oh yeah, the dictator

369
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 1: of North Korea is people all really bowed to him,

370
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 1: they really respect him. I want that. And then you've

371
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:42,359
Speaker 1: got JD. Vance using absolutely derogatory language, not only to

372
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 1: insult our allies in Europe and you know, on the

373
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 1: base in Greenland, but talking about China and saying, quote,

374
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,199
Speaker 1: these Chinese peasants and he says the word it's like

375
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:57,919
Speaker 1: dripping with judgment. They want to create a peasant class

376
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 1: and an oligarchy in America so we can't ever get

377
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,880
Speaker 1: out from under it. Like they love this shit. They're

378
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 1: like they're horny for oligarchs and kleptocrats, like they want

379
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,160
Speaker 1: to be that.

380
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,920
Speaker 5: And it's interesting now that.

381
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 1: You sort of see a lot of people go, WHOA.

382
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 1: I thought maybe the federal government was too big, maybe

383
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 1: it wasn't efficient, But I didn't realize what they did.

384
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,639
Speaker 1: I didn't realize what their programs ran. I didn't realize

385
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 1: how much of my life they took care of. And

386
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 1: it's like, well, yeah, you didn't realize it. Because Mitch

387
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 1: McConnell made it his mission over forty years ago to

388
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,199
Speaker 1: defund education in America because they started to see that

389
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 1: uneducated people.

390
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 2: Vote for them, and that's it.

391
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 1: And I don't say that to judge people, Like it's

392
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,680
Speaker 1: hard to get a good education because they've made it hard.

393
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 1: They make having an intellect seem like it's elitist. And

394
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 1: it's like, that's the whole reason my great grandparents came

395
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,359
Speaker 1: here for a better life and to be like, we

396
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,399
Speaker 1: want to pursue the American education system. We want to

397
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 1: give that to our children, Like my family built a great, big,

398
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 1: beautiful American dream life for that. So when you start

399
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 1: to really peel the layers back, and I think see

400
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 1: that these folks have tried to tarnish everything that actually

401
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 1: makes America any word you want to fill in the blank, great, exceptional, special,

402
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 1: something worth fighting for. They want to break it down

403
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,679
Speaker 1: and sell it for parts. And once you start to

404
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 1: look at these guys like a bunch of used car salesmen,

405
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 1: I think it gets easier to understand why they behave

406
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,239
Speaker 1: the way they behave, and also why their suits are

407
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:32,640
Speaker 1: so bad.

408
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 2: Oh, the suits are the worst. Oh, there's nothing grosser

409
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 2: than seeing him in a suit. Honestly, all of them,

410
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 2: all of them. They're also physically part of the part

411
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 2: of the stipulation of being a member of that administration

412
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 2: is being physically repugnant. Yeah, that is a number one.

413
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 3: Isn't it funny? How like all the bad guys look

414
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 3: disgusting like bad guys, like in a like villains.

415
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, because what you are on the inside starts to

416
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 1: come out. It's like Mitch McConnell's neck has been trying

417
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 1: to swallow his head for the last twenty years. Even

418
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 1: his body is like we.

419
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 2: Gotta go, and brain is gone. It's his head is

420
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 2: unfortunately still there, sadly, but it's like, you.

421
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 1: Know, I wonder what it must be like. Maybe they

422
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: like it. Maybe it's the same kind of thing that

423
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 1: they get off on a little bit that they're a

424
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 1: group of people that when they walk in the room,

425
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 1: all the women cover their drinks, like just instinctively. You're like, oh, oh,

426
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 1: the roofie patrol is here, and it's like.

427
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 5: This is our best and brightest.

428
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 1: Really, just because people couldn't vote for the lady, just

429
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 1: because they were like, oh my god, if gay people

430
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 1: aren't getting assaulted or trans people aren't hiding, do I

431
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 1: have any power, Like, what that's your metric? Come on?

432
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 2: Okay, on that note, we're gonna take a break and

433
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 2: we're gonna be right back with Sophia Bush. And we're

434
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 2: back with Sophia Bush, who has the Wonderful Podcast a

435
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 2: work in progress, and she also has a film coming

436
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 2: out called The Stranger in My Hall, which is an

437
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:05,679
Speaker 2: adaptation of a Dell Park's novel. Okay, Sophia, we're going

438
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,440
Speaker 2: to give advice. We have callers calling in. I love that, Catherine.

439
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 2: What are we focusing on today? What is our topic?

440
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 4: Oh?

441
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 3: We have so many things, you know what. We're actually

442
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 3: going to start with a caller. So Lauren is thirty

443
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 3: six and she says, how do I get on the

444
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 3: friends with benefits to wifey pipeline? Dear Chelsea, I've been

445
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 3: at a casual friends with benefits type relationship for a

446
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 3: year and a half. It's worked out great for both

447
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 3: of us, especially since I'm a solo parent to my

448
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 3: young daughter and he's a workaholic. His dick is better

449
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 3: than anyone else's. He's sweeter and more considerate than anyone

450
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 3: I've dated, maybe ever, and I care for him deeply.

451
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 3: Here's where I need the advice. For the last few months,

452
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 3: I've been having feelings of wanting more from him. I

453
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,200
Speaker 3: want him to stay longer, to come over more often.

454
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 3: I want us to be more official. Essentially, I want

455
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 3: him to make an honest woman out of me. But

456
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 3: I'm so scared to talk to him about it because

457
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 3: I don't want to ruin what we have. When I

458
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 3: think of these things, I usually end up reconciling with

459
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 3: myself that this is the relationship I can handle right now.

460
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 3: But what do you think? Is it because this dick

461
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 3: is so good that I want him to wipe me up?

462
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 3: Or is it a sign that I need to end

463
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 3: things with him so I can pursue a quote unquote

464
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 3: serious relationship. Will it be worth sacrificing what I have already?

465
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 3: Thanks so much, Lauren, hi Lo, Lauren hi there.

466
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 4: Thanks so much for taking my call.

467
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,920
Speaker 2: You're so welcome. This is our special guest, Sophia Bush

468
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 2: is here today.

469
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 4: Wow, amazing, We're here.

470
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,360
Speaker 2: To assess your The dick that's so great. I don't

471
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 2: think ever, you know, I honestly, I'm just thinking, like

472
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever dated anyone where I thought

473
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 2: the dick is so great, Like it's usually if an

474
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 2: emotional relationship that makes you love the sex, Yes, but

475
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 2: you're saying you just love the sex, and then that's

476
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 2: bringing you in emotionally, I mean both.

477
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 4: Really, it's all it's all good. It's been really great.

478
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 2: And so what's the vibe? He just you? He only

479
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 2: comes up, did you guys ever time together that's not sexual?

480
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 4: We did in the beginning a little more, but our

481
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 4: schedules are kind of crazy, and so we got into

482
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 4: a bit of a routine of just getting together at

483
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 4: night and enjoying each other's company.

484
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 2: And do you get the impression from him that that's

485
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 2: all he wants.

486
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 4: It's a tough read. It's a real tough read because

487
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 4: he doesn't talk too much about his feelings and that's

488
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 4: kind of worked for us, I think. So, yeah, it's

489
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 4: really tough to read at the moment. And that's why

490
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 4: I'm like a little scared about bringing it up, because

491
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 4: I don't want to lose what we have.

492
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's how you can bring it up. You

493
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 2: can just say, you know, hey, I like one night

494
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 2: when you're not having sex, or when you're done having sex,

495
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: or when just you know, you can say hey, I

496
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 2: really enjoy spending time together, and I know this is

497
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 2: kind of a sexual thing, but if you're ever interested

498
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 2: in more than that, I'm down for that. And make

499
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 2: it light like so that there's not a huge like repercussion.

500
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 2: If he doesn't feel the same way that you can't

501
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 2: continue to have sex unless you think, I mean, Ken,

502
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 2: do you think you can handle continuing to have sex?

503
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 2: If his answer is.

504
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 5: No, I hope, so, I really hope.

505
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 2: So yeah, right, Sophia, don't you think you should just

506
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 2: you have to bridge that, you have to say something

507
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 2: at some point.

508
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think to Chelsea's point, at the

509
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: end of the day, it's always a good idea to

510
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,160
Speaker 1: tell people how you feel. It can be really scary,

511
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: I mean, especially when you know you're considering shifting a

512
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,719
Speaker 1: dynamic into perhaps a more serious one, whether you're going

513
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,439
Speaker 1: to tell a friend you have fallen for them, or

514
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: you know you're gonna you're going to tell mister dickmatized

515
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: that you want more than just that. Like, I don't know,

516
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 1: but I think it's I think the advice of just

517
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: sort of start there is good to say this is great,

518
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: nothing's wrong. I'm having a great time with you, and

519
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: if you're open to more than that, I am as well, Like,

520
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe after you guys sleep together the

521
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: next time, like ask him if he wants a girl

522
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: cheese and like eat a snack, talk to each other

523
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: for ten minutes and see what happens.

524
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I did broach very delicately the idea of him

525
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 4: meeting my daughter. We had dinner out one time, and

526
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 4: you know, I got the impression like, you know, she's

527
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 4: almost four, so she's kind of wild right now, and

528
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,400
Speaker 4: I I don't know if it was like the vibe,

529
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 4: but he was.

530
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 2: Well what what did he What was his response to that?

531
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 4: He's so caring and generous and like he just kind

532
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 4: of went with the flow. And so that part of

533
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 4: that reaction of his makes me think like he's kind

534
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 4: of taking my lead. But at the same time, maybe

535
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 4: he's like, oh, this is too much for me.

536
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,479
Speaker 2: So well, you don't have to have him meet your

537
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 2: daughter right away. That is a lot. That's a big

538
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: jump from just away. It was right away, but but

539
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 2: I mean there's this in between there somewhere, So like

540
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 2: the next time you bring it up, you can bring

541
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 2: it up more lightly, and also you should bring it

542
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 2: up because you want that, Like you have to go

543
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: after what you want. It's not just gonna like not

544
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: necessarily happen without you saying it and facilitating it. And

545
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: also just to have like a conversation with yourself beforehand,

546
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: Like I know, it's like a little bit like you know,

547
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: we get nervous to say these things, but they're so

548
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 2: important for us to express ourselves. It's very important as

549
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 2: a woman. Just like think of your daughter, you know

550
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 2: what I mean, Think of doing it for your daughter,

551
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 2: like standing up for what you want, saying what you want,

552
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 2: and if you don't get it, then okay, fine, and

553
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,719
Speaker 2: then you can continue having sex with him if that's

554
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,239
Speaker 2: what you want to do. But yeah, just do it

555
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 2: with a little sense of female empowerment like yeah, I

556
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 2: got this, I want this, I'm gonna ask for it.

557
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

558
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: And on the meeting the kid thing, if I may,

559
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 1: I think there's also something it's a big deal for

560
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 1: somebody to meet your kid, you know it It signifies

561
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: I think, a certain level of a relationship. So if

562
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 1: you want to go from the friends with benefits with

563
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: him to see if you guys are compatible for a

564
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 1: real relationship, work on building the relationship between you two

565
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: as adults, and if that really does take off, then

566
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 1: he can meet your kid. You know, your kid is

567
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: is the center of your world and the reward for

568
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: him actually showing up as a partner. I agree with Chelsea, Like,

569
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 1: I think skipping to that probably would feel a little

570
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: overwhelming for someone you know, center as she's advising you, like,

571
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 1: center yourself. You deserve that.

572
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 3: Do you feel like this desire for something more serious

573
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 3: is because of him or because maybe you're just like

574
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 3: ready for a relationship that's a little more traditional.

575
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's part of what I think as well. It

576
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 4: could be that it could be like because my daughter's

577
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 4: getting older, it could be like a little bit of

578
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 4: a sign that I'm ready for something. But you know,

579
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 4: I tested the waters with other people and dating like

580
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 4: more seriously, and he's still he's kind of it. He's

581
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 4: still it. That's why I want to try it out

582
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 4: with him.

583
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he should. Okay, Yeah, you definitely should

584
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: do it. Get come up with a plan and do

585
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 2: it and be you know, be proud of yourself for

586
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 2: like and pushed forward. Like if you do this act,

587
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: regardless of the outcome, you just have to like try

588
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 2: to detach from the outcome. I know what you want,

589
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 2: you know what you want. You can say that, but

590
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 2: it's a good exercise period, you know, to start asserting

591
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 2: yourself in that way.

592
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 4: That's excellent advice. That's totally what I need to hear.

593
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 4: I was kind of hoping you guys would give me

594
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 4: some like feminine wiles that I can tap into and

595
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 4: convince him to yeah, to wipe me up.

596
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 2: But you're right.

597
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 3: I think the feminine whiles come from the casual approach

598
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: that Chelsea mentioned, just like, hey, like, what do you

599
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 3: feel about this?

600
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: This sounds good to me if that's where we're going

601
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 2: to take it.

602
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 3: You know, I think that is like a perfect way

603
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 3: to do it, rather than being like, here are two choices,

604
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 3: do we do this or is it over? You know?

605
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 3: I think that puts a little too fine a point

606
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 3: on it.

607
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 4: Absolutely Yeah.

608
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 2: Okay, well, good luck, report back, Okay, let us know

609
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 2: what happens. Please, thank you so much.

610
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 4: I will nice.

611
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: Okay.

612
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:11,239
Speaker 2: Why I want to get a dimple like Sophia? Why

613
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: don't people try and get dimples when they get plastic surgery?

614
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: Because you never see somebody just all of a sudden

615
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 2: show up with a dimple like that should be a

616
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: good request for plastic surgery, you know, like I would

617
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 2: like a dimple on my left cheek, like like ordering

618
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 2: it up like a cabbage patch.

619
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 3: I do think there's a certain child actor that did

620
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:28,479
Speaker 3: do that.

621
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 2: Oh I don't want to name any names. I'll have to.

622
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 2: I'll have to bring that up with my next plastic

623
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: surgery appointment.

624
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: But I think a dimple is technically a deformity.

625
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's so cute. Who cares?

626
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I like, I like mine, But it's literally

627
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: I think it's like a I think it's some sort

628
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: of a situation where like your muscles don't completely put

629
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 1: together all the way and you just have like a

630
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: hole in your face.

631
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: So I don't know how they would.

632
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 1: Make one for you.

633
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 2: I'm sure they can make one for you. I'm sure.

634
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,479
Speaker 2: I'm sure they can come up with something.

635
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, they can give you a whole new face. They

636
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 1: can probably give you exactly right.

637
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: Exactly right.

638
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 3: Well, our next question comes from Katie. It's kind of

639
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 3: most of some of the political stuff that we have

640
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 3: been talking about. So she says, your Chelsea, I have

641
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 3: so much anger at the world. I have ADHD's justice sensitivity,

642
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 3: which is a phrase I only learned a couple of

643
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 3: years ago when I was first diagnosed. It explained a

644
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 3: lot my whole life. I've been jokingly prodded at for

645
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 3: my anger. It often comes out in exaggerated and dramatic jokes,

646
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 3: where I'm known to be brutally honest, crass, and passionate.

647
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 3: It's been a blessing and a curse where I've been

648
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 3: thanked throughout my life for speaking up and calling out wrongs.

649
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,719
Speaker 3: But then I've also been seen in my family as

650
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 3: constantly angry about something I know deep down anger is grief.

651
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 3: I've seen therapists before, and I'm open to it again,

652
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 3: but I can't help but shrug it off as futile.

653
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 3: Considering a therapist can't fix the selfishness and stupidity of

654
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 3: most humans. The pandemic, the elections, the denial of climate change,

655
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 3: and the weaponization of marginalized communities weighs on me daily.

656
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 3: I'm finding that I'm growing so angry I'm compartmentalizing just

657
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 3: to operate. My faith in humanity is wrecked. I can't

658
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 3: look at people who I love as worthy of my

659
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 3: love because I feel their integrity has reached unfathomable lows

660
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 3: and their support of a serial sex predator in the

661
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,719
Speaker 3: White House. All in all, people love me, and I

662
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 3: know that I have enough support to be happy. Overall,

663
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 3: I don't want to change the fiery passion I have

664
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 3: regarding the injustices of the world, and I thrive on

665
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 3: bullying the bullies. It feels good, but rage is unhealthy.

666
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 3: I need a shift in perspective. I've related to Chelsea

667
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 3: my whole life for being honest and calling people out,

668
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 3: so maybe you can help. Thank you, Katie.

669
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 2: Hi, Katie Hi, Katy Hi. This is Sophia Bush, our

670
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 2: special guest today.

671
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 5: Nice to meet you. Thanks for having me on.

672
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm a fellow Justice Sensitivity girly. Thank you for that.

673
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we can both relate to how you're feeling. Absolutely.

674
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 2: I think a good word that you used is integrity

675
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: in that email, and I think we should talk about

676
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 2: that word because I think that when you have a

677
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 2: lot of integrity and you see people that don't have it,

678
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 2: we can be judgmental of that, we can be like

679
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 2: in dismissive of those people, but we don't know that

680
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 2: they're not acting within their own integrity, you know, like,

681
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 2: to me, the genuflecting to Donald Trump after he's become

682
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 2: elected is lacking integrity. He's supporting him from the beginning.

683
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 2: That's a different set of rules, because that could be

684
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 2: an integrity or that could really be your belief system

685
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 2: and you believe you are acting with integrity. But the

686
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 2: one thing I want you to hold on to is

687
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 2: your integrity. And having integrity means being able to treat

688
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: situations with respect even when you don't respect them. And

689
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 2: when you have high levels of anger like you're talking about,

690
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 2: you've got to harness that rage and turn it into

691
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 2: something positive, and something like that is loving. And in

692
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: order to do that, you've got to figure out where

693
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 2: your deep anger is coming from. Because it's not like

694
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 2: when this happened in twenty this happened in twenty sixteen.

695
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: I was exactly what I was going off the rails.

696
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 2: I was screaming at people, arguing with people if I

697
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 2: didn't agree with them politically. They were no longer my friends.

698
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 2: I was freaking out, and I realized when I went

699
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 2: to therapy that that anger was that was just a

700
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 2: place for me to put my anger, like that was

701
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 2: an obvious place to store it. Now I had somewhere

702
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 2: to direct it and a reason, but really what it

703
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 2: was was a much deeper kind of delayed grief, delayed

704
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 2: pain that I had never experienced from my childhood. Right, So,

705
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 2: you really want to find somebody, a therapist that's going

706
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 2: to be good. And it might not be the first

707
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 2: one or the third one that you meet with. And

708
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 2: I know that sounds exhausting, but like you're talking about

709
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 2: your mental well being and your mental health for the

710
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 2: rest of your life, because if you can invest some

711
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 2: time into getting into, like getting in with a good therapist,

712
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 2: it's going to yield so many benefits for your life

713
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 2: moving forward when you have to deal with all of

714
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 2: these unpalatable situations that we're all dealing with and conversations,

715
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 2: because it's much more meaningful to be able to disagree

716
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 2: with somebody without becoming rageful. It's much more powerful to

717
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: have an argument without losing your shit, right.

718
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 5: Right, and the rate, Like I'll put it this way,

719
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 5: I stay articulate, I stay informed, I know what I'm

720
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 5: talking about when I engage with people, and I try

721
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 5: to approach it with respect. But it's like we keep

722
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 5: reaching new lows every week, every month, every day. It's

723
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 5: just new lows where the justification for this kind of

724
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 5: cult mentality is driving me absolutely insane, where I'm like,

725
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 5: you believe one thing, you know, you advocate for the constitution,

726
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden, we're seeing that get

727
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 5: bypassed and you're now justifying why it makes sense and

728
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 5: why authoritarianism makes sense. And it's like I'm seeing just

729
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 5: this like degradation in moral values in logic where I like, yeah,

730
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 5: like I'm totally down for therapy, like that is something

731
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 5: I've advocated for my whole life. But I just don't

732
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 5: know like how to approach that from a sense of

733
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 5: respect because I start to lose respect for those people

734
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 5: because they're now almost hypocritical in what they've always claimed

735
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,720
Speaker 5: to be their values. And that's where I'm having trouble

736
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 5: is reconciling, Hey, this is who you say you are,

737
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 5: this is how you represent yourself, but how you vote

738
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 5: and how you reflect or politics does not mirror what

739
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 5: you claim to be. And it's happening with some loved ones.

740
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 5: I've got a great support system, a lot of people

741
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 5: who you know, support me and agree and we don't

742
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 5: all have to agree, but it's getting to a point

743
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 5: now where it's just so inhumane that that's where I'm struggling,

744
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 5: Like degree, the sadness, the fear. I recognize that my

745
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 5: rage comes from that, but getting it out in a

746
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 5: healthy way, other than going online and trolling somebody and

747
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 5: berating them or logically making an argument that holds up,

748
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 5: like you know, sure, that'll give me some adrenaline, but

749
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,879
Speaker 5: that's not sustainable. We keep preaching these new lows, and

750
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 5: only lately we're seeing people regret their decision because the

751
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 5: markets are in turmoil. There's just chaos, and that kind

752
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 5: of is another angle where I'm like, well, now they

753
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 5: care because their wallets are getting hit, and I need

754
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 5: that shifted perspective of like, okay, well maybe this olver

755
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 5: lining is they're starting to regret the decision. They're starting

756
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 5: to question their decision, but I need to get away

757
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 5: from this. Well they're stupid and lazy and misinformed the

758
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 5: end they're late.

759
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,399
Speaker 1: Can I offer you something on that? Absolutely, And I'm

760
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: not going to say that it's like a magic solve,

761
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 1: but something that I've really had to reckon with because

762
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 1: I've I think I've had the exact verbatim conversation you're having,

763
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 1: like we could, we could do a freaky Friday.

764
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: Swap in this moment.

765
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: Chelsea and I have both been in the thing, Like

766
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: I think we all know what it is to be

767
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 1: so angry at what is so apparent, and so let's

768
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: be frank like hurt by it.

769
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 5: Right.

770
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 1: The idea, you know, we were talking about this earlier.

771
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: The idea of the American dream is that we built

772
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 1: a democracy to allow for people to be free. Granted,

773
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: we fucked up a lot along the way, but like

774
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: we're supposed to be generationally getting closer and closer to

775
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: those ideals. And when you see people take the collective

776
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: agreement on the ideal and just torch it for personal

777
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,959
Speaker 1: gain or so that someone else can be the butt

778
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 1: of the joke or the center of the target, it's

779
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 1: really it's not just hard, it's like traumatizing. It's very

780
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:27,439
Speaker 1: destabilizing because you realize, like real isn't real. What's been

781
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: helpful for me to understand about people is actually to

782
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: do some of the nerdier research on confirmation bias and

783
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: to understand that we're not having a conversation about logic,

784
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 1: we're having a conversation about shame and when people have

785
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 1: put all their eggs in a basket that operates like

786
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 1: a cult, that is abusive, that is absolutely fascist, and

787
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: they've been told that it is the most American, most

788
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: patriotic thing. When they start to have facts that push

789
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:02,479
Speaker 1: up against their confirmation bias, it's more likely that they're

790
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,720
Speaker 1: going to double down on the lie that they believe

791
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: than admit that it was a lie, because it's personally

792
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: individually traumatizing, and it creates so much shame to realize

793
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 1: you bought a lie, to realize you bought the snake

794
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 1: oil from the salesman. And so I've had to take

795
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: a deep breath and try to and I don't say

796
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: this to be a dick. I really like I put

797
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: myself in the space that I used to when I nannied,

798
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 1: when I was a camp Counselor when I'm dealing with

799
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 1: a three and a half year old who like irrationally

800
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: doesn't want to eat even though they're having a meltdown

801
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 1: because they're hungry, I have to remind myself that I

802
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 1: know something about the irrationality that they're experiencing in their

803
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,880
Speaker 1: body that they haven't quite dealt with yet, and it

804
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 1: gives me just enough pause and grace to say, the

805
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: trauma's going to hit them too, and what are we

806
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: going to do about it when they get here? And

807
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 1: that's really a self present reservation tactic for me. It

808
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 1: is a way for me to be more human instead

809
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: of more enraged, because the angrier we are, the more

810
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,439
Speaker 1: they're winning, the more they get to be like, look

811
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: at these fucking screaming, you know, screaming leftists, and it's like,

812
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: I'm not screaming. Actually, I'm desperate to save the American experiment.

813
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 5: Right, And I will heartly agree with all of that.

814
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: And so I think if you can give yourself a

815
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: little bit of the psychology in your own personal interaction,

816
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: it can help you. And then, honestly, one of the

817
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 1: greatest things I learned from a friend was instead of

818
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 1: doing the thing which you know many of us neurodivergent

819
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 1: girlies do, which is like, I have every fact in

820
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 1: every stat and I know this, and let me tell

821
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: you about this. And if I can just give you

822
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 1: enough information, you're going to see because math is not emotional,

823
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 1: and then you won't be emotional, and then you'll know

824
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: that this is true that and you get yourself like

825
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: really psyched out. Sometimes you just need to lean in

826
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 1: and go, well, why do you believe that? Where'd you

827
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: hear that? Ask people question, because if they can't defend

828
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,919
Speaker 1: their own position, it'll do more for your conversation than

829
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,280
Speaker 1: you trying to defend yours. Right, those will be my two.

830
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 5: I've definitely taken that approach of asking leading questions and

831
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 5: the why and the how, and trying to relate of like,

832
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 5: you know, at the end of the day, we want

833
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 5: similar things for our country. We want safe communities, we

834
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 5: want you know, good paying jobs, like we were not

835
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 5: that different. And I try to kind of point that out.

836
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 5: And I definitely am trying to take it from a

837
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 5: standpoint of like, yes, they're a shame to admit that

838
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 5: they've been wrong, or like nobody likes admitting they've been wrong,

839
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 5: but it's just at what point, like how much longer

840
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 5: will it take? And that is where I've been struggling,

841
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,280
Speaker 5: and I'm trying to approach it from a softer approach.

842
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 5: My wife has kind of taught me about being vulnerable

843
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 5: instead of being on the attack, you know, my whole life.

844
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 5: I'm like, Okay, that's that's we don't portray vulnerability because

845
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 5: then you'll you'll show who what you're afraid of. So

846
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 5: I've in recent years kind of been trying to do that,

847
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 5: but it's just I just feel like it just gets

848
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 5: worse and worse and worse. And I do productive things.

849
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 5: I nourish myself, I nourish my life, but it's just

850
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,879
Speaker 5: weighing on me, and I just don't know how much

851
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 5: more I can take. Like I've been compartmentalizing, disassociating, throwing

852
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 5: myself into my work, like just all of that just

853
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 5: to get by. And I know that that's kind of,

854
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 5: like you said, a trauma response and relating it to

855
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 5: them having their own almost delayed trauma response is a

856
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 5: helpful way to think of it, just because but then

857
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 5: I'm like, well, I pity them and they're slow, and

858
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 5: I have to shift. I have to get rid of

859
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,879
Speaker 5: that because that's still a negative look at somebody who

860
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 5: deserves compassion as well.

861
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 2: I mean, you remind me so much of myself, Like

862
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:40,959
Speaker 2: when I've went into therapy, because one of the first

863
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 2: things I said to my psychiatrist was I think everyone's annoying.

864
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,320
Speaker 2: He's like, okay, let's talk about your childhood. I'm like,

865
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 2: that's not important. I said, I find everyone very annoying

866
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 2: and I have no patience for stupid people. This is

867
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 2: my biggest issue right now. So it sounds a lot

868
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 2: like you're echoing that kind of sentiment. And when you

869
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 2: have that kind of attitude, something is deeper, deeper is happening,

870
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 2: And I understand circumstantially what we're all dealing with. I

871
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 2: completely get it. I completely understand being angry, being disappointed,

872
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. But there is stuff within you that

873
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 2: you need to talk to someone about to help you.

874
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 2: And even if you go in there and you're talking

875
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 2: about fucking Donald Trump for an hour, that's okay, But

876
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 2: just exhaust the anger, you know what I mean? So, like,

877
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 2: learn how to get through your anger and learn how

878
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 2: to turn that anger into positivity, because that's what tech

879
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 2: therapy taught me, how to do, how to turn everything

880
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 2: into like gratitude. Even when you wake up and you

881
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 2: read the news and you're like, what the fuck am

882
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 2: I going to be grateful for? There's plenty to be

883
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 2: grateful for. There's always plenty to be grateful for. We're

884
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 2: not at a point yet where we're all there's nothing

885
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 2: to live for, Like that's not happening yet, So you

886
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 2: want to be able to like, you know, and inject

887
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,280
Speaker 2: people with that, you know, and and when you're coming

888
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 2: at people with a softer with a softer self, you're

889
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 2: gonna get a lot farther.

890
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 5: Right right, And you saying that, I mean, I've been

891
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 5: watching you since I was a teenager, and like I

892
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 5: kind of had the joke in my head that you

893
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 5: were the first time I saw representation, because it was

894
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 5: the first time I felt like.

895
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 2: A woman's representation. You stop bags representation, You're like, this

896
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:04,919
Speaker 2: looks good.

897
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 5: This is the first white lady that represented me. So

898
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 5: but it was just like the first time that I

899
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 5: saw somebody speaking their mind, being thoughty about it, and

900
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 5: just being able to kind of just say things out

901
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 5: loud that people are afraid to say. I need to

902
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 5: probably get back into therapy. I've been in and out.

903
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 5: My family's always advocated for it, like it, but it's

904
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 5: just yeah, like getting that the passion out in a

905
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 5: way that in acts change. And like I said, like

906
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 5: like I have pride in my work and what I

907
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 5: do is like semi political. Its related to the environments,

908
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 5: related to plants, and it's just like that's helpful, but

909
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 5: I need something just for myself because, like you said,

910
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 5: it is probably deeper. It is probably something ingrained from childhood.

911
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 5: But it's just like damn, like how much more of this?

912
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 5: And yeah, watching your journey has helped a lot, because

913
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 5: I was thinking, like, I do need to practice gratitude,

914
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 5: and every day I'm trying to think of like like

915
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 5: I am happy overall. Then of course I think of

916
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 5: I'm happy in my little bubble. I've got all these things,

917
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 5: and here we have all these people suffering, and it's

918
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 5: getting worse for your average American and not enough Americans

919
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 5: give a shit. And that's in like, yes, like it

920
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 5: is external, but like the practice of which I express

921
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 5: it is something that I need to seek therapy for.

922
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 5: But I'm still just like, you know, like do I

923
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 5: just keep disassociating until then.

924
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,239
Speaker 2: Like I don't know, but no, you really just need

925
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 2: to get into a therapist.

926
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 4: You do.

927
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 2: You have to get this out because you can be

928
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 2: happy and angry. That's not an uncommon combination. You can

929
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 2: be happy and angry, But what you really want to

930
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 2: do is learn patience for the other people and learn

931
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 2: compassion for other people and not be so set in

932
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 2: your own opinion, even no matter how right it is,

933
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 2: just to be unable to understand and take in other

934
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:55,360
Speaker 2: people without it making you fucking angry, and without yelling,

935
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 2: without screaming, just it's gonna give you the toolbox you

936
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,879
Speaker 2: need that you're gonna need to get through the next

937
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 2: three years of this right.

938
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 5: Patience is a good way to put it for me,

939
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 5: because patience is something that I need a practice.

940
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's something you have to cultivate too, like it

941
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 1: really is to Chelsea's point, it's a practice. It requires work.

942
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 1: It's like a muscle you have to build. And I

943
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 1: also think you know, for a lot of us that

944
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 1: are really justice minded, that can't kind of look away

945
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: from the news, it's also really important to do something

946
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: that isn't about activism, that isn't about learning a fact,

947
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 1: that isn't about having a conversation, but that gives you

948
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 1: a reminder of why those things matter to you. Like truly,

949
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,959
Speaker 1: if you can figure out where the Feeding America food

950
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 1: pantry is closest to you, and like every other Sunday,

951
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 1: for two hours, go volunteer with some people you love.

952
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 1: It will shift your energy like therapy and service will

953
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,240
Speaker 1: be the two greatest things that will shift your energy,

954
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 1: because when you get caught on the hamster wheel of

955
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: I always have to be doing or fixing or learning

956
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: or speaking, You're you're not existing, You're trying to solve

957
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:10,879
Speaker 1: something all the time. And like that is a way

958
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 1: to stay in trauma. And so to go out and

959
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 1: like hang with your neighbors and serve a meal, or

960
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 1: go somewhere even with a family member you disagree with

961
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 1: and agree on something for an hour. It really it's

962
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 1: like a not to sound like the most la person,

963
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,919
Speaker 1: but it's like a psychic kind of healing too, right.

964
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:33,399
Speaker 5: I did start looking into volunteer opportunities, but then there

965
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 5: was one that was like political, climate change and all that,

966
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,399
Speaker 5: and I was like, maybe maybe I shouldn't go there.

967
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 2: You're doing enough of that. You're doing enough of that.

968
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, So but I have looked into a few

969
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 5: volunteer opportunities and it is something that I thought would

970
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 5: nourish my soul. But I just, you know, ADHD procrastinated.

971
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 5: Haven't done it yet.

972
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's great advice. Do that. Do that, look

973
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 2: for a therapist, go and just start getting this out

974
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 2: so that you're just you're just gonna bring yourself. You're

975
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 2: going to be so much more centered so that it

976
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like this all the time, Like it's at

977
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 2: the level where it's going to fucking blow. Like I

978
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 2: know exactly what you're talking about, and you just want

979
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 2: to break you. You're going to be so much more

980
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 2: valuable to all the people in your life when you

981
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 2: are able to really ground yourself and center yourself right,

982
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 2: And that involves a lot of self awareness, and that's

983
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 2: where therapy comes in. You know, it's like the it's

984
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 2: it's like you're purchasing the gift of self awareness, right absolutely,

985
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 2: So I'm glad you called. I'm glad you called. I'm like, yeah,

986
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 2: this was perfect, perfect time, perfect guests for you to

987
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,280
Speaker 2: speak with and you know, do what we say, okay,

988
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 2: And because we want you to be useful, we don't

989
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 2: want you to burn out.

990
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 5: Right right then, that's the main thing. I have been

991
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 5: operating at just this high frequency of just ready to

992
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 5: respond whenever I needed, like like almost like I'm ready

993
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 5: to be called the action. And that is exhausting.

994
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, hypervigilance, Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

995
00:48:56,160 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 5: Hopefully we'll see better news ahead.

996
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 2: Let's hope. So that would be great news.

997
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 5: Would Yeah, we'll all get that text some day.

998
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 1: So, yes, we're all in it together, that's the thing.

999
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:15,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yes, and I do. I'm again great community

1000
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 5: around me, and I'm leading on my friends more than ever.

1001
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 5: It's just feeling it so deeply. I'm exhausted.

1002
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:23,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're lady.

1003
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, do you take solace in that.

1004
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 2: Let's do it. Okay, keep us updated with your with

1005
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 2: your progress.

1006
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 5: Okay, absolutely, okay, thank you so much.

1007
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 2: To meet you, k ry Katie. Yeah, oh god, I

1008
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 2: mean that's she's speaking for half the world right now,

1009
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,320
Speaker 2: how everybody feels. Let's take a break and we'll be

1010
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 2: right back with Sophia Bush. And we're back with Sepia Bush.

1011
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 2: I do we have time for one more? Let's do

1012
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,240
Speaker 2: a little yeah, collar a quickie.

1013
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 3: Well this one isn't a caller. I try to get

1014
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 3: her a call in, but she is currently staying with

1015
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 3: the person question, so I wasn't able to. So this

1016
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 3: is a good, juicy one, she says. Dear Chelsea, this

1017
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,720
Speaker 3: is Shannon. I need some advice. I have a slow

1018
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 3: burn crush on my long term best friend. I met

1019
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 3: her eight years ago through work on a trip abroad

1020
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 3: at the time, I was assigned to travel one on

1021
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 3: one with her to visit business partners in another country.

1022
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 3: She's a few years older than me, and I was

1023
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 3: so attracted by her intelligence and powerful presence and confidence.

1024
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 3: Every time we went out for dinner, I would get

1025
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 3: butterflies whenever I made her laugh. However, my stomach dropped

1026
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 3: when she said I reminded her of her favorite gay,

1027
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 3: younger brother. At that point, she also had a long

1028
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,320
Speaker 3: term boyfriend and I assumed she was straight, so my

1029
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 3: crush faded, and we've developed a solid friendship over the years,

1030
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,320
Speaker 3: going on trips and I visited her a few times.

1031
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 3: I never thought much more of these feelings because she

1032
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 3: was always in a relationship. Two years ago she ended

1033
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 3: things with her boyfriend, and last year she told me

1034
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 3: she was attracted to women and wasn't completely straight, although

1035
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 3: I don't think she has explored this since. After staying

1036
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 3: with her for a month, my feelings came rushing back,

1037
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 3: and since then I've moved to her city for work,

1038
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 3: living in the same place for the first time. We've

1039
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 3: been spending a lot of time together and my feelings

1040
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 3: for her and those butterflies are only growing. Sometimes when

1041
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,800
Speaker 3: we're together, I catch myself thinking my girlfriend and quickly

1042
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 3: remind myself that she's just my friend.

1043
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 2: I'm torn.

1044
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 3: On the one hand, I feel this intense attraction and

1045
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:19,919
Speaker 3: just want to be around her more. On the other

1046
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 3: I'm unsure.

1047
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:21,839
Speaker 2: If she feels the same way.

1048
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,719
Speaker 3: She's a generally flirty person, so sometimes I wonder if

1049
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 3: it's just me reading too much into things. I don't

1050
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,280
Speaker 3: want to risk ruining our friendship or making things awkward,

1051
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 3: but I also don't want to look back and wonder,

1052
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 3: what if what should I do?

1053
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:36,280
Speaker 2: Chelsea Shannon, Well, you know what I'm going to say, Sophia,

1054
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 2: what are you going to say?

1055
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 1: No, I want to know what you're going to say.

1056
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 2: I'm going to say, go for it. Always go for it.

1057
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, hello, I don't like when people wait around

1058
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 2: for things. You know, it's your life. You got to

1059
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 2: grab it, grab life by the balls, get after what

1060
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,240
Speaker 2: you want. And if she doesn't feel the same way,

1061
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 2: that's not a loss, that's like, oh okay, it's a disappointment.

1062
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,800
Speaker 2: Then you know, then you have even more information moving forward,

1063
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 2: so she's not an option moving forward, and then you

1064
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 2: like and then you can decide if you want to

1065
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 2: spend time with her, but like, always go for it.

1066
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 2: I feel, what do you think?

1067
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's nothing worse than to wonder, you know,

1068
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: and listen, I think all of us we were talking

1069
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 1: earlier about hindsight, like you look back and you go, oh,

1070
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,399
Speaker 1: maybe I should have let myself wonder about that one,

1071
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: you know, Like, but but if you had, who knows

1072
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 1: what would have happened? And I think I think, no

1073
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:30,800
Speaker 1: matter what, to throw yourself toward what you want to

1074
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 1: be willing to risk for love, Like what else are

1075
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 1: we here for? And so yeah, I kind of think

1076
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 1: it harkens back to the way you advised our first

1077
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: caller to you know, maybe don't read that whole letter

1078
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 1: to this person, but just say, hey, I could be

1079
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 1: off base. I feel like there's a little bit of

1080
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: a shift in our dynamic. I don't know, it feels

1081
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: like there's something else going on here. And if I'm

1082
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: misreading it, we can pretend we never had this conversation.

1083
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 2: But if I'm not, I want to.

1084
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 5: Talk about it.

1085
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of liking it, and like, just see,

1086
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 1: I think it's always worth saying is there something happening here?

1087
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 1: If there is what might happen next?

1088
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 2: Like, also one thing to think about is like I

1089
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 2: understand you want to preserve the relationship and that you

1090
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 2: don't want to ruin the relationship in case she doesn't

1091
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:33,280
Speaker 2: have those mutual feelings. But when you go after something

1092
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,840
Speaker 2: in life and the reason, the thing that's stopping you

1093
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 2: is what if it's what if the answers know, then

1094
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 2: you're not going to find out a lot of things

1095
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: in life, like you have to be ready to accept

1096
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:45,360
Speaker 2: a no. Then you now you have the truth, and

1097
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 2: then you could move on with your life in a

1098
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 2: different way and knowing she's not an option. So it's

1099
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 2: like thinking that, oh, what if the answers know if

1100
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,319
Speaker 2: this guy, if I bring up our relationship in this

1101
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 2: guy doesn't want to be in a relationship with me

1102
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,879
Speaker 2: from our earlier caller, he doesn't want to go from

1103
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,799
Speaker 2: a booty call to something more serious. Okay, Well then

1104
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 2: you have that information. That's an advantage, not a disadvantage.

1105
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 2: So we all have to look at nose with a

1106
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 2: more positive outlook, Like that's one step closer to getting

1107
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 2: where you're going.

1108
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:12,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1109
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,439
Speaker 3: One thing that also like just popped into my mind

1110
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 3: is like every woman who dates other women that I know,

1111
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 3: Like if there is like a dating situation and they

1112
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:23,319
Speaker 3: break up, like generally people stay friends, you know what

1113
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 3: I mean. Like women often stay friends with exes who

1114
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 3: are other women in my experience, so I don't think

1115
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:30,239
Speaker 3: it's a bad thing.

1116
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 2: Well, that's the theme of today's episode. Everybody, go for it. Okay.

1117
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 2: The whole world could end in about fucking six months.

1118
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 2: We don't know what the fuck's gonna happen, so definitely

1119
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:40,799
Speaker 2: get after it. Go for it. Make sure you tune

1120
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,799
Speaker 2: into Sofia's podcast if you're not already a listener. It's

1121
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 2: called Work in Progress and her new movie is coming

1122
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 2: out in June, and it's up to you to go

1123
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 2: find it.

1124
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 1: Right.

1125
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 2: We did it, We did it. I got so I'll

1126
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 2: see you soon.

1127
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 1: You, I will see you soon.

1128
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: Okay. My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates

1129
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 2: for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be

1130
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 2: in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth.

1131
00:55:12,239 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 2: We will be the next date that I'm there, July fifth,

1132
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 2: August thirtieth, and then November one and twenty ninth. November

1133
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 2: one and November twenty ninth, I will be in Las

1134
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 2: Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.

1135
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 2: It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,

1136
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 2: thank you. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

1137
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:37,320
Speaker 3: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find

1138
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 3: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

1139
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:44,360
Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered

1140
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 3: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure

1141
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 3: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com.