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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, where we

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Speaker 1: discussed all things mental health, personal development, and all the

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Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible

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Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information

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Speaker 1: and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com. And while I hope you love listening to

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Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to

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Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental

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Speaker 1: health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me

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Speaker 1: for session fort one of the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast.

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Speaker 1: For today's episode, I wanted to break down another set

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Speaker 1: of alphabets you may have heard floating around DBT. DBT

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Speaker 1: stands for dialectical behavioral therapy and is most commonly used

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Speaker 1: with people who have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

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Speaker 1: To help us make sense of all of this, I

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Speaker 1: chatted with licensed clinical social worker Cita Hood. Ceda is

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Speaker 1: the clinical director of From the Heart Counseling, Incorporated in

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Speaker 1: Saint Charles, Illinois, and specializes in working with angry and

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Speaker 1: aggressive teens, people who have experienced trauma and millennial women

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Speaker 1: looking to thrive in life. Cita and I discuss what

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Speaker 1: DBT is, who can benefit from it, and how you

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Speaker 1: can find a DBT group that might work for you.

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Speaker 1: Here's our conversation. So thank you so much for joining

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Speaker 1: us today, Cita, thank you for having me. I'm excited

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Speaker 1: that you were able to join us because I like

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Speaker 1: to bring on therapists to talk in more plain language,

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Speaker 1: so to speak about a lot of the terms that

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Speaker 1: we often you're thrown around in the field. So DBT

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Speaker 1: is another big one that I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: people here but don't quite know what is what is

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Speaker 1: it used for? So can you tell us more about

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Speaker 1: what DBT is? Absolutely, so, DBT is dialectical behavior therapy.

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Speaker 1: So it's a form of cognitive behavioral therapy that's developed

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Speaker 1: by Dr Marcia Lenahan. So if you're not a clinician,

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Speaker 1: I know that makes no sense to you at all, right, So,

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Speaker 1: just to put it plainly, DBT is essentially a combination

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Speaker 1: of being able to regulate emotions, practice mindfulness, UM, the

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Speaker 1: ability to tolerate intense levels of anxiety or distress, and UM.

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Speaker 1: If you aren't familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT.

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Speaker 1: What that does is just helped to modify emotions, behaviors,

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Speaker 1: and thoughts. So DBT is just sort of like a

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Speaker 1: portion of that um that I love using it because

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Speaker 1: it's so simple and plain makes sense for people. So

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Speaker 1: so tell us what is what you like so much

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Speaker 1: about using it and like, how do you typically use

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Speaker 1: it with your clients? Okay, Well, first and foremost, um,

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Speaker 1: when I use it it, first of all, I tell

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Speaker 1: people off top, I'm gonna get really petty with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you questions about the incident that you

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Speaker 1: might think is stupid. So if you come in and

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Speaker 1: you tell me, oh, I was so upset. I worked

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Speaker 1: with teens a lot. Oh I was so upset. My

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Speaker 1: mom was being annoying, blah blah blah, my dad out

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Speaker 1: on my nerves. So it's very practical for the teens.

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Speaker 1: So if I say, all right, so digging deep into

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Speaker 1: this situation, what was it that got you upset? Why

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Speaker 1: did that upset you? What did you feel like when

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Speaker 1: they said this or did this? What does that mean

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Speaker 1: to you? So really just digging very deeply to discover, okay,

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Speaker 1: what their beliefs are about the situation and how that

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Speaker 1: could next to the actions that they then carried out

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Speaker 1: after that. So it's really simple because it takes you

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Speaker 1: down to the nitty gritty and the starting point of

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Speaker 1: a conversation or an action, and it's it's easy for

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Speaker 1: people to see as opposed to like some um far

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Speaker 1: fetched thing of understanding like some other things might be.

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Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Yeah, So what is the purpose

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Speaker 1: of breaking it down into like all of these steps,

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Speaker 1: like why do you have to get so petty so

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Speaker 1: to speak, and kind of get all the details of

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Speaker 1: an interaction to really use DBT Because we have to

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Speaker 1: explore where your thought process is. Because what we believe

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Speaker 1: is how we will act. Our actions are based on

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Speaker 1: our belief system. So if we can combat those, the

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Speaker 1: belief system then translates to a thought and then translates

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Speaker 1: to actions. So if I was to put that very plainly, um,

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Speaker 1: if my belief system is that just going off of

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Speaker 1: an example, just a plain person or Jane Doe will say,

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Speaker 1: if Jane Doe believes, Okay, my husband doesn't love me,

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Speaker 1: then a thought that might come next is, oh, he

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Speaker 1: left the garage up because he doesn't care about what

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Speaker 1: I do he didn't. He wasn't concerned about me. He

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Speaker 1: hopes that something happens to me when somebody walks into

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Speaker 1: the house. And it sounds like it's really extreme, but

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Speaker 1: I guarantee people think this way and then the action

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Speaker 1: might be, well, I'm gonna get back at him by

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Speaker 1: doing X, Y Z. So we have to go so

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Speaker 1: deep so that we can understand where originated from versus

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Speaker 1: having like, oh, if the husband were to come in, Oh,

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Speaker 1: she's crazy. She just did this. She responded in this way,

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Speaker 1: and all I did was forgot that the garage was up. Well,

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Speaker 1: it sounds really simple off top, but if you actually

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Speaker 1: go deeper with her and find out what she believes

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Speaker 1: to be true, then that is the core of why

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Speaker 1: she did what she did. So that is so important. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So really it sounds like you're kind of boiling down

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Speaker 1: all of these pieces and these steps so that you

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Speaker 1: can see what influences a person's decision making so that

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Speaker 1: maybe you can kind of change their thoughts that would

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Speaker 1: then change their behavior. Absolutely, absolutely, that's exactly what it is.

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Speaker 1: Got you. Okay, So I know that when we hear

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Speaker 1: about DBT, you know, DBT often happens in groups, But

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Speaker 1: of course you can also use it individually. But you

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Speaker 1: often hear a lot about like all these skills and

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Speaker 1: modules and UM, all of these different things that are

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Speaker 1: a part of DBT. So can you break down what

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Speaker 1: some of the skills are that are taught in DBT? Okay?

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Speaker 1: So essentially it's again the ability to recognize your triggers

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Speaker 1: to distress UM, identifying the emotions that are underneath those triggers,

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Speaker 1: and the ability to withstand that distress. Practicing some mindfulness.

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Speaker 1: So mindfulness is just being in the here and now

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Speaker 1: of the situation. One thing that's really big with DBT

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Speaker 1: is interpersonal effectiveness. So how you relate to people? Are

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Speaker 1: you assertive? If you know you are assertive? Are you

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Speaker 1: too assertive? You need to tone it down a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Can you effectively problem solved without UM maybe causing some

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Speaker 1: major damage to the relationship. How well can you regulate

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Speaker 1: your emotions? Can you recognize when you're feeling anxious or

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Speaker 1: stressed in the moment um? And I use these skills,

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Speaker 1: I go over it. I actually run a group called

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Speaker 1: reconnect UM in my practice, and it's for teams that

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Speaker 1: are struggling with UM self harm, self harming behaviors, who

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Speaker 1: have had UH suicide ideation or previous suicide attempts, And

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Speaker 1: so when we're in the group, we'll go back to

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Speaker 1: like practical ways that we practice this. So as a

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Speaker 1: part of the group, everybody has an opportunity to check in,

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Speaker 1: and the check in process is so essential to running

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Speaker 1: the group because yes they're learning new skills, but they

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Speaker 1: really value the check in process. This is them sharing

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Speaker 1: how they're week went, identifying triggers, UM figuring out if

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Speaker 1: they recognize those triggers in the moment, how the situation

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Speaker 1: was resolved with whatever they may have brought up, Is

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Speaker 1: there a way that they could have handled it maybe

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Speaker 1: more positively. So exploring these questions gives a lot of

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Speaker 1: insight into UM different situations and they might practice role

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Speaker 1: plan a different response, so ways they could have avoided

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Speaker 1: the situation altogether. And I think here's the best part

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Speaker 1: about the group. When I described this process to people,

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Speaker 1: you know, most people think that like, I'm the one

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Speaker 1: asking questions, and sometimes it is me, but the majority

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Speaker 1: of the time is group members that are supporting one another,

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Speaker 1: and it's so beautiful just to witness and um they

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Speaker 1: help one another and as they help each other, they

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Speaker 1: themselves receive what they need. So they may give the

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Speaker 1: feedback on the check in and practice those skills and

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Speaker 1: push one another, and then when it's their turn, they're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I know I should have done exactly what I just

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Speaker 1: told you to do. So really it's pretty practical and

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Speaker 1: easy for them to pick up and understand. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: take long at all for me to stop being the

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Speaker 1: one to ask the questions before they are holding one

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Speaker 1: another accountable. I know that was kind of a long answer. No, No,

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Speaker 1: that's a good information. But I do want to go

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Speaker 1: back to you on one of the skills that I

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Speaker 1: think can probably be really helpful whether you are participating

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Speaker 1: in DBT or not, UM the skills around interpersonal effectiveness.

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Speaker 1: So can you talk more about that and like maybe

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Speaker 1: some exercises are different kinds of strategies you might use

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Speaker 1: to help someone become more interpersonally effective. Wow, well that's

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Speaker 1: a big one, first, yew Or. I think it's a

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Speaker 1: big one because so many people, so part of a

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Speaker 1: huge part of like DBT is acceptance and then working

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Speaker 1: towards change. So you have to um number one, except

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Speaker 1: that certain situations are gonna be frustrating. For example, if

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Speaker 1: I'm a teenager and my mom has to wake me

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Speaker 1: up for school every day, that's probably gonna be a

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Speaker 1: frustrating situation. That's just part of life. Um. But then

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Speaker 1: recognizing that how I am handling this situation plays a

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Speaker 1: much bigger role in how easily or not so easily

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Speaker 1: it's resolved. So a lot of things that we work

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Speaker 1: on when we are in the group, I tell them,

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Speaker 1: you know, or even if I'm talking to somebody personally,

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Speaker 1: if you are asking me to hold you accountable for something,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna push you outside of your comfort zone. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna ask you why did you do that? You know,

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Speaker 1: what do you think the motive was for this? Because

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Speaker 1: our first instinct as humans, and we all do it

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Speaker 1: is to say, well, because they did blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: Well that might be the case, But did I handle

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Speaker 1: that situation effectively? What am I wanting out of this situation?

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Speaker 1: Am I properly communicating that? Because sometimes we think that

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Speaker 1: we are communicating those things and we're actually not being

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Speaker 1: as clear as we think we are. So I pretty

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Speaker 1: much work with people on Like I started talking a

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Speaker 1: little bit earlier about the assertiveness, So UM, knowing when

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Speaker 1: and where to be assertive? What what does that look like?

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Speaker 1: Can you gauge a situation to be able to say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is the time to bring this up. UM, this

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Speaker 1: is my my tone of voice and my setting boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Is this, according to UM, something that's comfortable for me?

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Speaker 1: Or am I stepping outside of what I'm comfortable with

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Speaker 1: to make this other person happy and then getting upset

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Speaker 1: about it and not really communicate adding that effectively. So

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Speaker 1: really just looking at a lot of internal things and

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Speaker 1: then how that relates to the other person that I'm

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Speaker 1: dealing with or people around me, my relationships. It looks

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Speaker 1: like a lot of it is really related to taking

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Speaker 1: responsibility for your actions and also looking at were you

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Speaker 1: effective in initiating a conversation and not putting so much

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Speaker 1: focus on what someone else did exactly. And another another

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Speaker 1: big thing that I a skill that I practice with anybody, UM,

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Speaker 1: and this could be like even if I'm talking to

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Speaker 1: a friend. Just very practically UM is called using eye messages,

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Speaker 1: and I know therapists are familiar with this, but essentially

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Speaker 1: the way that this format goes is when you blank,

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Speaker 1: I feel blank, please, so an example might be when

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Speaker 1: you yell at me, I feel sad or maybe like

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Speaker 1: you're upset with me, would you speak to me in

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Speaker 1: a softer tone. So it does several things. It Number

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Speaker 1: one names the issue that you have. Number two names

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Speaker 1: the feeling that you have, and then number three offers

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Speaker 1: a solution. And that kind of opens up the door

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Speaker 1: for dialogue there because if we use that, you know,

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Speaker 1: oftentimes the other person is going to respond and say, yes,

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Speaker 1: I could stop doing that, but this is what I

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Speaker 1: need from you as well. And so it's important, you know,

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Speaker 1: to be able to verbalize as well as to receive

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Speaker 1: what other people have to say. So something that UM

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Speaker 1: you said just made me think about, you know, like

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Speaker 1: if if I am participating in DVT and then I

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Speaker 1: learned all these skills about maybe how to talk more

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Speaker 1: effectively to my partner or my friends, UM, and then

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Speaker 1: I'm doing all of this work, but then they are not,

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Speaker 1: of course, engage in the therapy, maybe right, And so

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Speaker 1: I wonder how that plays out when someone has developed

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Speaker 1: this new skill of like maybe asking a partner using

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Speaker 1: the model that you just gave, when you do such

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Speaker 1: and such, I feel such and such, can you please um?

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Speaker 1: Do you have any tips or is there a part

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Speaker 1: of DVT that also talks about like how to train

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Speaker 1: the other people in your life to maybe do some

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Speaker 1: of this. Well, what I usually say like that's the

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Speaker 1: way that we practice the skill in therapy. But I

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Speaker 1: always tell people you make it your own. So if

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Speaker 1: it sounds like to rehearsed there, you make own. And

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Speaker 1: then even when you're talking to because most often, of course,

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Speaker 1: like parents know their their their kid is engaged in therapy,

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Speaker 1: so they're working on a therapeutic skill. Even if you

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Speaker 1: know maybe one parents not on board or the other

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Speaker 1: one you know, maybe they both are. But a lot

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Speaker 1: of times, like like you said, with partners, how do

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Speaker 1: you bring them on board? And I think I would

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Speaker 1: just simply have the conversation you know what, um, And

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Speaker 1: I've given this a lot um. I have to think

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Speaker 1: of specific situations for people I say, UM, So if

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Speaker 1: I were you and I were in this relationship, I

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Speaker 1: would say, initially, you know what, honey, I really appreciate

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Speaker 1: how well you've been supporting me. I know, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe I've always not been the best at X y Z.

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Speaker 1: I've made a couple of mistakes, so I've been working

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Speaker 1: lately to try harder to understand you and to try

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Speaker 1: and get you to understand me, and I know that

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Speaker 1: sometimes that process is a little bit frustrating, so um,

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Speaker 1: I'm just trying to work on communicating with you more.

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Speaker 1: And if you kind of set the tone in that

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Speaker 1: way to where you are highlighting what the person is

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Speaker 1: doing positively, it makes them more receptive because a lot

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Speaker 1: of times we are it's a matter of us getting

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Speaker 1: frustrated over something that someone else is doing, and most

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Speaker 1: often that person perceives that they're trying to help you

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Speaker 1: or support you. So you just want to be supported

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Speaker 1: in a different way because it's not working for you

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Speaker 1: the way they're doing it. So if you have that

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Speaker 1: conversation off top, building upon the positive things that they

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Speaker 1: already do, I believe that they will be in a

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Speaker 1: much safer space to want to hear from you. Which

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Speaker 1: again is not to say that the conversations will go

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Speaker 1: perfectly all the time, because sometimes you're gonna say that

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Speaker 1: and it's gonna start an argument, and sometimes you're gonna

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Speaker 1: say it, and sometimes the other person is going to

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Speaker 1: be receptive of it. But again it goes back to

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Speaker 1: how do you handle that so when that conflict does

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Speaker 1: come up, what will be your response? If you instantly,

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Speaker 1: you know, lash out and you know, get aggressive verbally,

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Speaker 1: then you just kind of took away some of the

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Speaker 1: progress that maybe you were making in that relationship. So

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Speaker 1: it's really about um being intentional and again mindful about

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Speaker 1: how you are approaching the situations and laying the foundation

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Speaker 1: or the safe space for the conversations. So let's go

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Speaker 1: with the mindful piece that you just mentioned, because of

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Speaker 1: course that is another big component of DBT. So what

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Speaker 1: does mindfulness look like? I know some people often get

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Speaker 1: confused when we talk about like mindfulness and what does

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Speaker 1: that mean? And oh, I can't see quiet for that long?

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Speaker 1: So can you talk about like mindfulness and why it's

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Speaker 1: important and maybe some like strategies to become more mindful?

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Speaker 1: And I think you've just hit the nail on the

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Speaker 1: head with a common misconception about mindfulness. People think that

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Speaker 1: mindfulness has to look one way, when that's actually not true.

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Speaker 1: It can look several ways depending on what context we're

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Speaker 1: talking about. So mindfulness could be sitting still and meditating

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Speaker 1: on a thought or something like that, or clear in

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Speaker 1: your head. It could be something like that. But mindfulness

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Speaker 1: could also be I know UM with clients who struggle

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Speaker 1: with eating disorders. There are a lot of therapists who

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Speaker 1: use mindfulness to UM teach them a different way to

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Speaker 1: re engage with food UM. And so in that same sense,

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Speaker 1: when I work on mindfulness with my clients, then we

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Speaker 1: are looking at truly being aware of everything that's happening

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Speaker 1: in the situation in that moment, being aware of how

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling. Why is this situation upsetting me right now?

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Speaker 1: Or why am I reacting like this? Am I upset?

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Speaker 1: Or am I am I sad? Do I feel anxious

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Speaker 1: in this moment? What is going to be helpful to

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Speaker 1: me in this moment? So really looking at UM those

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Speaker 1: specific things like being in the here and now. If

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Speaker 1: I am upset, is this the best place to express it?

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Speaker 1: If we are at home and it's just you know,

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Speaker 1: the two of us, or me and my parents, maybe

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Speaker 1: this is a good time to express it. If we

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Speaker 1: are at home and my parents are super stressed right

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Speaker 1: now because they have something going on, maybe not the

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Speaker 1: best time to express it. If we're out at a

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Speaker 1: dinner that's honoring you know, my spouse, is that the

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Speaker 1: best place to express how I'm feeling, so really honing

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Speaker 1: in on what it is you're feeling, why you're feeling

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Speaker 1: that what you're trying to communicate. Is this the best

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Speaker 1: time to communicate it? Is it the best way to

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Speaker 1: communicate it? Um? So, I think mindfulness can look a

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Speaker 1: lot of different ways. But I know that when I

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Speaker 1: work with clients, that is essentially what I am getting

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Speaker 1: them to focus on in those moments. And then there

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Speaker 1: could be sometimes where you know, if I'm working with

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Speaker 1: a client who has anxiety throughout the day, severe anxiety,

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Speaker 1: then we may work on, Okay, how can I sit

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Speaker 1: still in the moment and just simply enjoy sitting right now,

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Speaker 1: sitting in the grass, the wind blowing in my hair,

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Speaker 1: decompressing my mind from all of the things that are

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Speaker 1: stressful right now. So it can look a lot of

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Speaker 1: different ways, and it just really depends on what you're

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Speaker 1: working on um or what you're experiencing as the person.

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Speaker 1: So the other thing that you mentioned that DBT is

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Speaker 1: really helpful for is helping people to tolerate distress. So

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Speaker 1: people who often feel overwhelmed by their emotions, I feel

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Speaker 1: like things just kind of spin out. A can troll

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Speaker 1: to get out of control. What are UM, some of

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Speaker 1: the distress tolerance techniques that you might use with a client. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think those techniques start off baby steps. So I

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Speaker 1: have several clients that UM may feel extremely anxious about

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Speaker 1: or feeling like they're in distress about maybe leaving the

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Speaker 1: house or when someone talks to them a certain way,

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Speaker 1: or UM, let's just go with the one UM leaving

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Speaker 1: the house. Let's go with that example. So the the

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Speaker 1: fear there, well, there are a ton of fears that

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Speaker 1: are attached to it, just walking out of the house

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Speaker 1: and different things that they may experience in that moment.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I know that therapists have a lot

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Speaker 1: of different theories in a lot of different ways that

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Speaker 1: they approach things. Um, I'm really relationship based. I really

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Speaker 1: think that the therapeutic relationship is one of the most

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Speaker 1: essential components to how well the client progressed us. So

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Speaker 1: if that means that for me, you know, you being

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Speaker 1: afraid to step outside of your house, then we might

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Speaker 1: work towards baby steps towards that. So maybe the first day,

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Speaker 1: you know, we just talk about moving towards the door,

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Speaker 1: moving towards getting outside of the house. The next time

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Speaker 1: we may talk about okay, go take a shower, put

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Speaker 1: on some clothes as if you're leaving the house, and

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Speaker 1: then the next time it may be something as me

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Speaker 1: coming to your door to come with you outside of

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Speaker 1: the house, or us going and having lunch somewhere. So

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Speaker 1: it's baby steps and when you work up to those

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Speaker 1: things slowly but surely, so that they're able to tolerate

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Speaker 1: it and it's okay if you know maybe on that

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Speaker 1: day that you were supposed to open the door and

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Speaker 1: look outside just for five minutes, that you couldn't do it,

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Speaker 1: we'll talk about that, we'll process through that, but slow

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Speaker 1: levels of UM essentially exposure to what it is and

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Speaker 1: building up those grounding techniques and those grounding skills to

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Speaker 1: help them really focus on okay, I can do this, affirmations,

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Speaker 1: I'm capable of doing this, you know nothing bad is

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Speaker 1: gonna happen, and just really using those coping skills so

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Speaker 1: I know, Cita that we hear a lot about DBT,

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Speaker 1: and of course actor Lenahan Um developed DBT related to

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Speaker 1: working with people who have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

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Speaker 1: But are there other concerns? Are other people struggling with

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Speaker 1: other things? That you think DBT could be really useful

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Speaker 1: for absolutely UM. So DBT is also used with people

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Speaker 1: who struggle with post traumatic stress disorder UM, obsessive compulsive disorder,

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Speaker 1: and like we talked about anxiety and depression and different

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Speaker 1: things like that. UM. I really do think that clinically

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Speaker 1: everybody could benefit from, you know, mindfulness and better distress

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Speaker 1: tolerance and different things like that. UM. It is widely

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Speaker 1: known for borderline personality disorder, though you and are there

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Speaker 1: some concerns where DBT might not be appropriate at all,

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Speaker 1: So again I think everybody could benefit from some skills there. However,

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Speaker 1: if you are attempting to UM use DBT or you're

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Speaker 1: interested in it, I would highly suggest training because again,

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Speaker 1: the techniques and different things are simple, you know when

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Speaker 1: you look at it or when you read about it.

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Speaker 1: But you never want to be in a position where

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Speaker 1: you open someone up emotionally so to speak to where

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Speaker 1: they are completely vulnerable UM, only to not have the

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Speaker 1: therapeutic skill set to leave them in a safe space.

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Speaker 1: So that is a very dangerous position to be in. Again,

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Speaker 1: people can benefit from DBC, but if you're not trained

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Speaker 1: and you have some on you know, bearing their soul

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Speaker 1: I always tell people therapy is a place to express

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Speaker 1: those dark, ugly thoughts that maybe you don't tell anyone,

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Speaker 1: and you can't just walk away with those on the

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Speaker 1: table without you know, having the skill to be able

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Speaker 1: to bring the person back to grounding, like a level

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Speaker 1: of safety where they're like, Okay, I'm fine, I can

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Speaker 1: continue through my day. This was a very difficult session,

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Speaker 1: but I'm ready to progress. So those would be UM,

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Speaker 1: I think personally, just some concerns that I would have

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Speaker 1: about UM using DVT and other situations. So it sounds like, UM,

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Speaker 1: if somebody is listening to the podcast and you know,

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Speaker 1: they kind of like, Okay, I like what she's saying.

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Speaker 1: I feel like some of these seals might be helpful

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Speaker 1: for me. If they're looking for like a DVT group

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Speaker 1: in their area, it sounds like you are saying that

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Speaker 1: they definitely want to make sure that UM, whoever they're

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Speaker 1: going to do a group with has had appropriate training

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Speaker 1: in DBT. Absolutely absolutely. And you know, not only that,

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Speaker 1: but I think if you are looking for a DVT

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Speaker 1: group and it sounds like something that you're interested in,

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Speaker 1: you want to also look for a network of supporters,

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Speaker 1: like people who can be helpful outside of the group.

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Speaker 1: I know, you know, some people's programs, like I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of times hospitals don't necessarily encourage sharing UM

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Speaker 1: personal contact information and different things like that. But UM,

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Speaker 1: I have found in the group that I lead that

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Speaker 1: it is very helpful for the teams to be in

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Speaker 1: contact with each other throughout the week. And I know

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Speaker 1: I get a lot of UM anxious parents and people

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Speaker 1: who are like the way, if they're all struggling with

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Speaker 1: the same thing, how can they help each other well?

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Speaker 1: Because they are also all committed to getting better. So

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Speaker 1: if one person is struggling in that moment, they are

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Speaker 1: extremely supportive of one another and they are super good

433
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 1: about like holding each other accountable. So I would really

434
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,199
Speaker 1: look for UM a place where you feel comfortable and

435
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: again that the facilitator is relationship oriented, relationship oriented with

436
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: not only UM you know each other, like encouraging members

437
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 1: to have relationships and talk to one another, but also

438
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: how the facilitator's relationship is with each group member, because

439
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: that's that's key, it's essential UM, and that there are

440
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 1: no quick fixes. You know, you might go to a

441
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 1: DBT group and it might suck the first two times,

442
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 1: like that's reality. I tell people, when you start therapy,

443
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 1: it's gonna get worse before it gets better. So you know,

444
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: maybe don't run away scared if it doesn't work the

445
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: first time, but figure out again why didn't it work?

446
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: Is it because I'm just not comfortable here? Or is

447
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: it because of something that I'm not addressing or I'm

448
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: running away from? Know? What are some of your favorite

449
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: resources for anybody who might want to learn more about DBT?

450
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: And I'm not talking about therapists, more like clients who

451
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: might be interested in DBT or there any like client

452
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: friendly resources you found? Yes, okay, so this is like

453
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 1: I think therapists would feel some type of way with

454
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: me mentioning this. But there's actually a YouTube channel from

455
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,440
Speaker 1: her doctor hand and she gives a lot of um

456
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: videos on practical ways to use DBT. And then like

457
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 1: for parents who think, you know, when my kid is

458
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: struggling with this specific disorder, I love the instant help

459
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: books for teens. They have a ton of them, um

460
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 1: but specifically dealing with DBT. And you know, it says

461
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: for teens, but it could actually practically be used for

462
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 1: adults as well. Um, just some of the stories are

463
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 1: based like in high school, but the skills are still there. Um.

464
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: It's called Don't Let Emotions Run Your Life um um.

465
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 1: And again it's an instant help book for teens. You

466
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 1: can find it on Amazon. So those books like that,

467
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: and even if you look up um DVT Skill Workbook

468
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: on Amazon, there are just a ton of resources there.

469
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,679
Speaker 1: But I would say if you're really interested, before you

470
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: want to purchase anything, you should look up that YouTube

471
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: channel because she has literally a ton of videos there

472
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: with a lot of information. Okay, and of course all

473
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 1: this information will be included in the show notes for

474
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: people to find very easily. So can you talk more about, um,

475
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 1: what happens in your practice? So it sounds like you

476
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: have a very like strong teen DBT group. But are

477
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,239
Speaker 1: there any other exciting projects that you're working on? Are

478
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: things you're gonna be offering in your practice? Yes, I'm

479
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 1: so excited. UM. So we just did in November, um

480
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: our first Ladies Night, and essentially Ladies Night was filled

481
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: with these wonderful women from the community, um, who are

482
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: small business owners, not not therapist. Actually I was the

483
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: only therapist there, but women who were ready to help

484
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: other women in the community come out and relax and

485
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: enjoy themselves. So we had massages going, we had painting,

486
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: we had wine, UM, we had a lip since Lady

487
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,239
Speaker 1: lu LaRue, just a ton of stuff. UM. And so

488
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to bringing that back because even that night,

489
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: people were like, yes, please, let's do this more than

490
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: one time a year. And then, UM, I'm a person

491
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: who loves to do giveaways on my website and everything,

492
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: or you know, if you're subscribed to my email list,

493
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: I love to do giveaways. And so last February we

494
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: did this UM challenge where we focused on self love,

495
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: and so I'm gonna bring that challenge back and I

496
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: haven't told subscribers yet, but this time, if you share

497
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 1: pictures and things like that during the challenge, you'll get

498
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: entered into a Apple to win a fifty dollar visa

499
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: gift card. So I have some pretty exciting things coming up,

500
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 1: even you know, dance movement workshop for stress relief, all

501
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 1: of these different things. UM. We have an intern who's

502
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: offering pro bono intake assessments and then UM reduced rate therapy.

503
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 1: So just a lot of fun, exciting things that I

504
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: you know, I want people to take advantage of because

505
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 1: some of the offerings will be free, and then some

506
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: of them won't be free, they'll be paid, but you

507
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: will get more bang for your buck. I feel like plains. Yeah,

508
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're doing a lot of really cool

509
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 1: things to kind of introduce people to more kind of

510
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 1: mental health constructs that don't involve just therapy. Yeah, because

511
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: you know what, ultimately, that's what it's about. It's about

512
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 1: establishing those positive support systems that are maybe outside of

513
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: the norm, outside of just going to work and coming home,

514
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 1: but really um, thriving in life and discovering what you

515
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: love and living out those passions. Nice. So where can

516
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: people find you? You mentioned your email subscribing this, so

517
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: I want to hear more about that. But can you

518
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: also give us, like your website information in any social

519
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 1: media handles that you'd like to share. Yes, So if

520
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: you Google from the Heart Counseling, Inc. You um will

521
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: see my website. UM. My website is f T and

522
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: then the word heart spelled out and the word counseling

523
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 1: spelled out dot com and then um on social media

524
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: on Instagram and Twitter, I am Sita f T h C.

525
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 1: So if you don't know how to spell my name,

526
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: s E I d A F T h C. So

527
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: that is my Twitter and my Instagram, and then we're

528
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 1: just on Facebook as UM From the Heart Counseling. And

529
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: then I also have a try a group. It's called

530
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 1: the Tribe lound Um. It's a Facebook group and it's

531
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,479
Speaker 1: just for people all over that want to be a

532
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: part of From the Heart Counseling that aren't local, they

533
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: can join. We do challenges throughout the year, so that's

534
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 1: where we did the February Self Love Challenge last year.

535
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: We do UM challenges and sometimes you know, if I

536
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: have products that I release or something like that, the

537
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: Lounge members get discounts and different things, early access and

538
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: a lot of fun things like that. Nice and of

539
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: course again all that will be including the show notes,

540
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 1: so people can find all of that easily. Well. Thank

541
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us seated and sharing your

542
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: expertise with us today. I really appreciate it. Thank you

543
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,479
Speaker 1: so much for having me. I love therapy for Black girls.

544
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm so happy about the things that you're doing on

545
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: your website. Thank you, thank you. I'm very thankful that

546
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: Cetera was able to drop in and share her expertise

547
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 1: with us and encourage you If you'd like to learn

548
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: more about DBT are the things she's offering in her practice.

549
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: To check got the books and stuff she mentioned by

550
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 1: going to Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Session

551
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: forty one. If you've learned something new from this episode

552
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: or have had experiences with DBT yourself, we'd love to

553
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: hear all about it. Please share your thoughts with us

554
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: on social media and use the hashtag TBG in session.

555
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 1: Remember that if you're looking for a therapist in your area,

556
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 1: check out the therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls

557
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: dot com slash directory. And if you want to join

558
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 1: us in the thrive tribe, where we continue the conversations

559
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: from the podcast and talk about all kinds of other stuff,

560
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 1: head on over to Therapy for Black Girls dot com

561
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: slash tribe and join us to keep up with important

562
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: updates and important mental health information. Make sure you're following

563
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: us all across social media. You can find us on

564
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: Twitter at Therapy for the Number four b Girls, and

565
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: you can find us on Instagram and Facebook at Therapy

566
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: for Black Girls. And please make sure that you're continuing

567
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: to share the podcast with your new friends. You can

568
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 1: do that by texting them tweeting them, or sharing the

569
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 1: info about the podcast in your Insta stories. I really

570
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:18,399
Speaker 1: appreciate that. Thank y'all again for joining me this week,

571
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: and I'm looking forward to continue in this conversation with

572
00:34:21,280 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 1: you all real soon. Take it care a hotter Fi

573
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 1: Hoctor