WEBVTT - James Corden: How to Know When the Time is Right to Let Go

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<v Speaker 2>Step out of a curtain and four hundred people will

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<v Speaker 2>go nuts. And you've got to remember the other side

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<v Speaker 2>of this camera is a sign that says applause. Daytonian,

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<v Speaker 2>Emmy winning actress on TV screens for eight years. The

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<v Speaker 2>man himself, James Corner. I went upstairs and I sat

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<v Speaker 2>in his room and I just went to I need

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<v Speaker 2>you to know that I haven't changed. I love you

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<v Speaker 2>more than you will ever know, and he went.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite

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<v Speaker 1>you to join this community to hear more interviews that

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<v Speaker 1>will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to do is click on the subscribe button.

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<v Speaker 1>I love your support. It's incredible to see all your

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<v Speaker 1>comments and we're just getting started. I can't wait to

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<v Speaker 1>go on this journey with you. Thank you so much

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<v Speaker 1>for subscribing. It means the world to me.

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<v Speaker 2>The number one health and wellness podcast, say, said Jay.

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<v Speaker 1>James. It is truly a honor and privilege to have

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<v Speaker 1>you here today because I have to be honest with you.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been a huge, huge, huge fan ever since Smithy

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<v Speaker 1>and Comic Relief. And I was at the Grove just

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of weeks ago and I was remembering how

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<v Speaker 1>that's get started. There we're walking, yeah, and you walk

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<v Speaker 1>into one of the rooms and you're with me. And

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<v Speaker 1>so I've been such a huge fan from day one

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<v Speaker 1>and watching you and admiring your journey, seeing you go

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<v Speaker 1>crushing from the UK through to the US, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I moved to the US a few years after you did,

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<v Speaker 1>but just getting to see the impact you had there,

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<v Speaker 1>the amazing, amazing content that you've created, I'm a big

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<v Speaker 1>fan of, whether it's Spilly your Guts or Cardboard Carryoku,

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<v Speaker 1>every single segment you guys produced, such a huge fan

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<v Speaker 1>and so to be able to sit with you and

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<v Speaker 1>even a few moments we've just spent together off camera,

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<v Speaker 1>I've already enjoyed your company, but I wanted to start

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<v Speaker 1>off by just saying I'm a huge fan and thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for doing this.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a huge very great yours. I think what you've

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<v Speaker 2>done is is really quite extraordinary. Actually, I really think.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's actually deeper than a successful podcast or

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<v Speaker 2>show or booke. I think what you've done, really I think,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm sure I'm certainly not the first person to

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<v Speaker 2>say this to you, is you've created like a safe

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<v Speaker 2>place for people to talk about, to talk about mental health, health, everything,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. What I mean feeling is the depth that

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<v Speaker 2>I think is. Of course, we're more aware of today

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<v Speaker 2>than we were a decade ago and certainly a decade

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<v Speaker 2>before that, and I think you're You're a real big

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<v Speaker 2>part of that. I'm a real fan of the show

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<v Speaker 2>and it's given me a lot over the years. So

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<v Speaker 2>it's a real thrill to be here. And I hope

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<v Speaker 2>I can be deep enough to fulfill the needs required

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<v Speaker 2>you know, well.

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<v Speaker 1>For everyone, everyone who doesn't know. Everything that James was

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<v Speaker 1>saying to me off camera just novel like James, save it.

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<v Speaker 1>I need you to say it again because it was

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<v Speaker 1>so it was perfect. But James, I was thinking about this,

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<v Speaker 1>I was looking at your journey and I was saying,

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<v Speaker 1>like you went from writing right Gavin and Stacey amazing success,

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<v Speaker 1>gone to the West End, amazing success, Broadway Tony Award,

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<v Speaker 1>amazing success, then moving off into Late Night, amazing success.

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<v Speaker 1>And there was something I was observing about you, and

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<v Speaker 1>I felt that what I saw in you was someone

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<v Speaker 1>who had the ability to continuously disrupt themselves, take risks,

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<v Speaker 1>and innovate when it seemed like there was a clear path.

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<v Speaker 1>And I wonder whether what's the decision you've made right

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<v Speaker 1>now is almost the same thing that you've said, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want the safe option. I'm willing to take the risk.

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<v Speaker 1>Would you agree with that?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes? I think so. I mean, it's really lovely of

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<v Speaker 2>you to say that there's also misses in the middle

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<v Speaker 2>of that, you know what I mean, at least very

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<v Speaker 2>important to say that that curve could also be looked,

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<v Speaker 2>do you know what I mean? There's as many misses

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<v Speaker 2>as there is hits. You just want to keep that

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<v Speaker 2>ratio as clean as you can. You know, in the

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<v Speaker 2>sort of last sort of six months since finishing the show,

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<v Speaker 2>and then the few months before that after when we

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<v Speaker 2>announced that we were on the show, lots of people

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<v Speaker 2>would say, you know, they would ask why you're doing

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<v Speaker 2>this and why would you leave such a thing and

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<v Speaker 2>such a contract and offer and all those things, which

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<v Speaker 2>I completely understand. I've always been able to separate work

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<v Speaker 2>and life and that the two one shouldn't outweigh the other.

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<v Speaker 2>Does that make sense that actually you have to go, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I know that for my career, Ruth and I could

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<v Speaker 2>have Ruth Jones, who I co wrote Gavin and Stacey with,

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<v Speaker 2>which was a show that became successful in the UK.

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<v Speaker 2>We could of course have carried on writing that show

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<v Speaker 2>and making more episodes of that show. But I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know that that was at the time feeding our life.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I wasn't feeding mine, it wasn't feeding Ruth's.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like, we've done that, it's time to stop.

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<v Speaker 2>We have to do something else. And then, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I love being in plays. I love being in the theater.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I was in One Man, Two Governors or

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<v Speaker 2>The History Boys, there was a path where you could say, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I could carry on doing this, and there were moments

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<v Speaker 2>or opportunities to perhaps go and do another play after that,

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<v Speaker 2>but it was like, well, I don't know that that's

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<v Speaker 2>going to feed my life. So I think the key

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<v Speaker 2>from or what I'm trying to do is go, well,

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<v Speaker 2>if my work is feeding my life and my family,

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<v Speaker 2>then it's of benefit and if it isn't, then it

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<v Speaker 2>won't be. And I think some people perhaps often just

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<v Speaker 2>look at their career as being the primary thing in

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<v Speaker 2>their life. Well, the work is the thing. I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to do this, and I'm going to do that. Then

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to do this. Then I'm going to do that,

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<v Speaker 2>and you have to go no, no, But but how

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<v Speaker 2>is that feeding your life and your soul and who

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<v Speaker 2>you are as a friend, son, brother, husband, father, you know?

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<v Speaker 2>And that's the thing I think I've always thought about.

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<v Speaker 2>So the decision to end the show had nothing to

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<v Speaker 2>do with not enjoying it anymore. It had nothing to

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<v Speaker 2>do with it not being fun. Financially, of course it

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<v Speaker 2>was fantastic, But then it got to a point where

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<v Speaker 2>it was like, is it feeding me and us as

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<v Speaker 2>a family. Is this environment what we want now I

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<v Speaker 2>don't think it is. Okay, well then we're going to

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<v Speaker 2>then we're just going to turn it over and shake

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<v Speaker 2>it and see what it is the other side of that.

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<v Speaker 2>The thing I keep coming back to all the time

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<v Speaker 2>in my in my life a lot recently is just

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<v Speaker 2>to constantly say, well, we don't know yet. We don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know yet. I can't tell you if it

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<v Speaker 2>was a good thing or a bad thing to stop

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<v Speaker 2>the show. I don't know. I will only know in

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<v Speaker 2>a year or two years or maybe five years time,

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<v Speaker 2>because you just don't know. You don't know at all.

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<v Speaker 2>You know in the same time that you might accept

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<v Speaker 2>a role over here, and when you get that job,

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<v Speaker 2>people are going, oh my god, this is the greatest

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<v Speaker 2>thing ever. And you say, well, we don't know. Me

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<v Speaker 2>and my friend Louis wrote dear friend of mine, Louis

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<v Speaker 2>who moved to America to come and write on the

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<v Speaker 2>Late Late Show, you know, uprooted his family and moved.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh oh, he didn't have a family at the time,

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<v Speaker 2>had two kids. In the eight and a half years

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<v Speaker 2>we were there, we wrote a TV show together which

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<v Speaker 2>got picked up at Hulu or I wasn't going to

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<v Speaker 2>be in it. We just created this show. And then

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<v Speaker 2>a few months later we wrote two scripts and they

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<v Speaker 2>really love the first that we wrote the second script

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<v Speaker 2>and they said, look, we're just we're not going to

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<v Speaker 2>make this show happens all the time, and I was

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<v Speaker 2>really bummed. And my friend Louis said the best thing.

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<v Speaker 2>He was like, look, if they'd have picked it up,

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<v Speaker 2>it might have been the worst thing. It's whoever happened

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<v Speaker 2>to it. We might have fallen out, we might have

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<v Speaker 2>who knows what would have happened. It might have been

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<v Speaker 2>a disaster. We just don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you have no idea, Yeah, I don't know anything.

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<v Speaker 1>You've reminded me of this beautiful zen story where a

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<v Speaker 1>farmer finds a new horse. You know the story. Yeah, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>the farmer finds a new horse and everyone's excited and

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<v Speaker 1>they're like, wow, this beautiful horse you just came upon it,

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<v Speaker 1>Like how lucky are you? And he says good thing,

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<v Speaker 1>bad thing? Who knows? Yeah, And then his son's riding

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<v Speaker 1>the horse and he looks incredible. But then all of

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<v Speaker 1>a sudden, he gets tipped off the horse and his

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<v Speaker 1>son falls off and breaks his leg, and everyone's like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh no, this is the worst thing ever, Like if

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<v Speaker 1>only you didn't bring that horse in, And he says

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<v Speaker 1>good thing, bad thing?

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<v Speaker 2>Who knows?

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<v Speaker 1>And the story continues. And hearing you say that, it's

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<v Speaker 1>really honest of you to share that, though, because I

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<v Speaker 1>think sometimes when we make a decision, we often feel

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<v Speaker 1>like we have to convince ourselves it's the best decision

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<v Speaker 1>in order to make it through. But for you to

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<v Speaker 1>actually have the vulnerability to say I actually don't know

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<v Speaker 1>that takes a lot of courage.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I do know that that ending the show. I

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<v Speaker 2>do know that the reasons for it are absolutely right,

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<v Speaker 2>no question. But you don't know. You don't know how

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<v Speaker 2>those things will. You just don't know, you don't know

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<v Speaker 2>any of it. So if you can accept all of it,

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<v Speaker 2>if you can just say, well, this is this is it,

0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:44.280
<v Speaker 2>this is life. What we're doing now, me and you

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<v Speaker 2>sitting here, this is it. We're doing it. You're alive.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think sometimes the expectation of stuff is the

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<v Speaker 2>thing which really ruins stuff. Your expectation of what holiday

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<v Speaker 2>might be, your expectation of what Christmas Day was going

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<v Speaker 2>to be like. The is actually the problem the thing

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<v Speaker 2>that happened on holiday, or the argument you had on

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<v Speaker 2>Christmas Day. That's not really the issue. I didn't have

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<v Speaker 2>an argument on Christmas Day. I'm just using it as example.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the thing I think is your expectation of well,

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<v Speaker 2>when I do this, my life will be like that.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think my life, I think I've thought that

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of my life when I get my driver's license,

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<v Speaker 2>my life will be like this. When I get a girlfriend,

0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:28.559
<v Speaker 2>my life, when I get my when I move out

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<v Speaker 2>of my parents' house, my life is going to be

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<v Speaker 2>like this. And it's not it isn't it can't be.

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<v Speaker 2>It's and what it is will be amazing. You're going

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<v Speaker 2>to be alive, you know. And I think I just

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<v Speaker 2>feel very accepting of everything now at the moment.

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<v Speaker 1>There's something really beautiful that came out of what you said,

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<v Speaker 1>this idea of reasons over results, Like you know your reasons.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know what the result will be, but you're

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<v Speaker 1>sure about your reasons, and that's something we can all

0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:03.920
<v Speaker 1>practice and take on. Like, I think that's something everyone

0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:06.520
<v Speaker 1>who's watching can apply. That you never know the result

0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.240
<v Speaker 1>of your decision, you don't know how it's going to

0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.240
<v Speaker 1>pan out, but you can be sure.

0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:11.679
<v Speaker 2>About your reasons without question.

0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:13.600
<v Speaker 1>And if you feel clear about those and.

0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:17.400
<v Speaker 2>To recalibrate, perhaps what success is and that's I think

0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:24.160
<v Speaker 2>a big issue in a broader society. What is success?

0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:31.360
<v Speaker 2>Success is not this amount of money. It's not this

0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:36.880
<v Speaker 2>amount of gold statues and trophies. You know, you've got

0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.160
<v Speaker 2>to look at it as a whole it's really interesting

0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:46.400
<v Speaker 2>if there are numerous people who talk about the night

0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:50.640
<v Speaker 2>that they won an Academy Award as being the loneliest

0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:56.520
<v Speaker 2>night of their life, and yet for us looking in

0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:59.760
<v Speaker 2>on that, you look and go, oh my god, that

0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.680
<v Speaker 2>this is incredible. I would give anything.

0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:03.840
<v Speaker 1>Do you think that is?

0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:05.960
<v Speaker 2>Because I think it's more the climb is the thing.

0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:11.120
<v Speaker 2>The top of a mountain I think can be quite

0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:18.000
<v Speaker 2>a isolating experience actually, and the climb to the top

0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.160
<v Speaker 2>of it is. And of course when you get that,

0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:26.440
<v Speaker 2>it's amazing because you go, oh my god, we did

0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:28.080
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, we did it. It's like

0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.280
<v Speaker 2>someone that takes a helicopter to the top of Everest

0:13:32.280 --> 0:13:34.680
<v Speaker 2>is not going to have the same experience as a

0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:38.040
<v Speaker 2>person who's climbed it. Absolutely you're looking at the same view,

0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:40.240
<v Speaker 2>but it's going to be it's going to feel very

0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:45.440
<v Speaker 2>very difficiure. I also think it's it's an incredibly you know,

0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:48.400
<v Speaker 2>the anxiety of it, that the fear of it, I

0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 2>can only I don't know. I'm not I don't know,

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:53.120
<v Speaker 2>I can only imagine. And so I think because I

0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:55.040
<v Speaker 2>think that what you realize is that the doing of

0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:57.040
<v Speaker 2>the work and the climb of it is the thing

0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:00.600
<v Speaker 2>that is the most satisfying, And how can there be

0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:03.920
<v Speaker 2>such a thing as best? Yeah, how ever, you can

0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:08.560
<v Speaker 2>be the fastest runner over one hundred meters. That's not

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:12.800
<v Speaker 2>up for debate, you saying Bolt, you are the fastest

0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:17.240
<v Speaker 2>runner over one hundred meters. You can't be the best films.

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:18.520
<v Speaker 2>That's impossible.

0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's more subjective.

0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:22.360
<v Speaker 2>Of course it is and should be.

0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:26.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, where did your drive for success come from? You

0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.320
<v Speaker 1>just said that you've realized now that success is not

0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, the bank balance or this or that these

0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:36.600
<v Speaker 1>specific things. Where did your initial drive for success come from?

0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:39.880
<v Speaker 1>Did you always define success in a particular way or

0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.960
<v Speaker 1>was it just what you think everyone in our generation

0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:43.880
<v Speaker 1>was almost chasing?

0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:49.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I think for me really from I

0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:54.359
<v Speaker 2>really don't remember a time that I didn't want to perform.

0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 2>I just don't remember a time that I didn't want

0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.760
<v Speaker 2>to just perform.

0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:02.240
<v Speaker 1>Did you perform at school and at home and.

0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:06.440
<v Speaker 2>In everywhere everywhere? I would call it performing. I'm sure

0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:10.040
<v Speaker 2>some people would call it showing off? My mum, would

0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:14.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, oscillate between the two? Stop showing off? Still?

0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:19.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, like I just I just loved I just loved.

0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:25.520
<v Speaker 2>I loved performing in in in any shape or form,

0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:36.280
<v Speaker 2>school play, church, playground. I just I really really loved it.

0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:41.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I can remember so vividly the first time I

0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:44.640
<v Speaker 2>was ever sort of on what we call a stage.

0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:46.440
<v Speaker 2>So we grew up in I was we were a

0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.640
<v Speaker 2>family that we're in the Savage Army, which is a church,

0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:55.160
<v Speaker 2>but that's also a charity. And like any church you're

0:15:55.160 --> 0:16:00.400
<v Speaker 2>born into, you think that this is completely normal, you know,

0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:03.600
<v Speaker 2>any church you're wanting to, and then like whether we

0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, we would like put on a uniform and

0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.880
<v Speaker 2>we would my dad would you know, occasionally march down

0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:13.120
<v Speaker 2>the road in a brass band and we would do

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Christmas caroling and I would play the trumpet, and you

0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:17.800
<v Speaker 2>just thought, well, this is just completely life. And then

0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.560
<v Speaker 2>you get to about fifteen and you're like, guys, this

0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:23.840
<v Speaker 2>is really weird. But it was essentially a church and

0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 2>that's what we'd go to. And a church, from what

0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.840
<v Speaker 2>I can really work out now retrospectively, was perhaps full

0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:33.720
<v Speaker 2>of the least Christian people I've ever met in my life,

0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, like many churches, you know, and its core

0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:42.600
<v Speaker 2>good infect it with people become something very very different

0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:47.400
<v Speaker 2>and and So we're in high wickhambe in Buckham Shehar

0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:53.080
<v Speaker 2>and my sister was three, No four, My sister Ruth

0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 2>was four and it was her christening, and we were

0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:59.680
<v Speaker 2>on the platform, which was you know, tall, intensive purposes,

0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:06.120
<v Speaker 2>looked felt like a stage to me, and the savage

0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:11.160
<v Speaker 2>army officer, the vicar, the priest I couldn't see because

0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:13.040
<v Speaker 2>I was, you know, quite smart. He said, let's get

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.679
<v Speaker 2>James a chair, and I stood on this chair and

0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:18.159
<v Speaker 2>I could just see there was maybe, I don't know,

0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:22.160
<v Speaker 2>thirty people in the congregation, it looked like a thousand,

0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:27.000
<v Speaker 2>and I just started like pulling these faces and turned

0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:30.840
<v Speaker 2>around and looked back through my legs and people are chuckling,

0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:35.480
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, well, this feels fantastic. And then

0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:38.239
<v Speaker 2>what I really remember is sitting back down in the

0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:45.040
<v Speaker 2>congregation and I was sat between my mum and dad

0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:47.280
<v Speaker 2>and person's back is in front of me, and I

0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:50.960
<v Speaker 2>remember being like, well, this is boring. This is nearly

0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:53.639
<v Speaker 2>as much fun as being up there. And I was

0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.720
<v Speaker 2>seven at the time, and No I was four, and

0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.160
<v Speaker 2>my sister was obviously a newborn, so I was four,

0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:06.280
<v Speaker 2>and I remember just thinking, well, this is that's that's it.

0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:10.800
<v Speaker 2>Now life is a quest to be up there as

0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:11.760
<v Speaker 2>much as possible.

0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:12.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's beautiful.

0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:15.000
<v Speaker 2>So I think that's what I always thought successful was

0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:19.720
<v Speaker 2>like my my absolute ambitions were to be in a

0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:23.240
<v Speaker 2>West End musical. That was it. That was like, that

0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:25.680
<v Speaker 2>was the peak and literally it was a road away

0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:28.359
<v Speaker 2>from where we are now at the Prince Edward Theater

0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:31.439
<v Speaker 2>and I was seventeen and Inner musical and I was

0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:34.439
<v Speaker 2>I honestly genuinely was like, well that's it for me.

0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:38.480
<v Speaker 2>I will it cannot be greater than this. That's how

0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:42.880
<v Speaker 2>that's where my absolute ambitions were, to be just on

0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:43.960
<v Speaker 2>a West End stage.

0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:47.679
<v Speaker 1>That's verytacular. I mean you said there were missus naturally

0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:49.960
<v Speaker 1>in the journey that I laid out in the beginning.

0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:53.000
<v Speaker 1>I wonder what were some of the most painful or

0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.439
<v Speaker 1>tough missus, whether when you were younger, as you got older,

0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:58.000
<v Speaker 1>what were the ones that you look to and say,

0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:01.080
<v Speaker 1>I'd love people to know about this or learn about this,

0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:04.000
<v Speaker 1>because when you look at it from the outside, it

0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:07.640
<v Speaker 1>is easy to see. But these are the couple that

0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:09.240
<v Speaker 1>maybe would surprise us.

0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:12.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, well, there's things that you do that just naturally

0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.199
<v Speaker 2>aren't very good. That's the first you know what I mean.

0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:17.840
<v Speaker 2>There's things that you do and they're not they're not

0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:21.720
<v Speaker 2>very good. Those things you understand why they didn't connect

0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:25.000
<v Speaker 2>because they're not very good, you know. And oddly I

0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:29.680
<v Speaker 2>don't feel a sort of sense of any disappointment in

0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:33.320
<v Speaker 2>that area, do you know what I mean? Because someone

0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:35.639
<v Speaker 2>asked me once because I was in that film. I

0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.320
<v Speaker 2>was in that film Cats, right of the musical Cats

0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:43.600
<v Speaker 2>and that you know, I haven't seen it, but like

0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:48.399
<v Speaker 2>by all accounts, not good and didn't do very well.

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:50.720
<v Speaker 2>And someone said to me, oh God, do you regret that.

0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:52.160
<v Speaker 2>I was like, no, I'll do it again. I had

0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:56.000
<v Speaker 2>a great time. You have to separate sometimes your own

0:19:56.119 --> 0:20:00.000
<v Speaker 2>experience and the outcome of a project, because you can

0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:02.400
<v Speaker 2>do things that do really well, but at that time

0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.800
<v Speaker 2>in your life it was a disaster.

0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:07.320
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what I meant?

0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:09.560
<v Speaker 2>And at the same time, at the same time, you

0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:13.880
<v Speaker 2>can do stuff which isn't good, but actually you had

0:20:13.880 --> 0:20:16.119
<v Speaker 2>a really great you know what I mean. You know,

0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:19.040
<v Speaker 2>when we were shooting Cats, we had an afternoon and

0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:23.800
<v Speaker 2>I sat in this weird green suit with dots on

0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:28.679
<v Speaker 2>your face with Ian McKellen and Judy Dench and I

0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:34.800
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't swap that friend to literally sit and talk to

0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:39.320
<v Speaker 2>Syrian McKellen and Dame Judy Dench about I couldn't tell

0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:41.280
<v Speaker 2>you what we talked about. I can't tell you if

0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:44.399
<v Speaker 2>it you know. And I was like, well, how lucky

0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:51.159
<v Speaker 2>am I? This is extraordinary? So I think I did this.

0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:54.400
<v Speaker 2>I did a TV show which came out I think

0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:59.440
<v Speaker 2>about maybe just two years ago now, maybe eighteen months ago,

0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:02.879
<v Speaker 2>which was Amazon called Mammals, which I was really proud of,

0:21:03.000 --> 0:21:07.639
<v Speaker 2>and I really, I really hoped that people would find

0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:11.760
<v Speaker 2>that and they didn't. That's the only that's the only

0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:16.320
<v Speaker 2>thing that I look at and I think, ah, because

0:21:16.320 --> 0:21:21.439
<v Speaker 2>it got reviewed. Well, it's written by I think the

0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:24.520
<v Speaker 2>best living playwright at the moment, you know, or certainly

0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:30.240
<v Speaker 2>young living playwright called Jez Butterworth, who wrote like Jerusalem

0:21:30.320 --> 0:21:33.240
<v Speaker 2>and The Ferryman and Mojo, but then also wrote Skyfall

0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:37.280
<v Speaker 2>and Specter and Indiana Jones. And it was me and

0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:41.119
<v Speaker 2>Sally Hawkins and Melia Cralling. And that's that's the only

0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:42.960
<v Speaker 2>That's what I would say. That's the only thing that

0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:47.760
<v Speaker 2>I go, Ah, I wonder what we could have done

0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:51.160
<v Speaker 2>differently to make people find it, But then we don't

0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:51.480
<v Speaker 2>know yet.

0:21:51.520 --> 0:21:53.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you don't know, We don't know. You don't know

0:21:53.240 --> 0:21:55.000
<v Speaker 1>when it's going to take off again, Like I love

0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:56.480
<v Speaker 1>hearing about but even if.

0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:58.399
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't, don't you know who know? You know what

0:21:58.480 --> 0:22:01.520
<v Speaker 2>I mean? Like you just you just have to.

0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:04.399
<v Speaker 1>I love what you just said, mate. I love that

0:22:04.480 --> 0:22:07.560
<v Speaker 1>perspective of the idea that and I can relate to that.

0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:10.080
<v Speaker 1>I've had moments in my life where I'm having one

0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:13.720
<v Speaker 1>of my biggest external career wins, but I didn't have

0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:16.560
<v Speaker 1>the right people around me to celebrate it with, and

0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:21.160
<v Speaker 1>therefore it's not as gratifying or as celebratory, or it's

0:22:21.160 --> 0:22:23.000
<v Speaker 1>not as meaningful, whereas you could have had something that

0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:26.359
<v Speaker 1>externally like no one cared, but you had the people

0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:28.040
<v Speaker 1>around you where you knew what you'd built and you

0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:31.600
<v Speaker 1>knew what you'd created. And I love that that resonated

0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:32.600
<v Speaker 1>so strongly, honestly.

0:22:32.760 --> 0:22:36.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, also the notion that I don't know. The way

0:22:36.840 --> 0:22:41.960
<v Speaker 2>I see it is every single day your life can

0:22:42.080 --> 0:22:48.160
<v Speaker 2>get turned over and flipped on its head in a

0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:53.080
<v Speaker 2>phone call. Every single day. Like I used to say

0:22:53.119 --> 0:22:56.359
<v Speaker 2>that to my wife Julia all the time when we

0:22:56.359 --> 0:22:59.160
<v Speaker 2>were in Los Angeles, right go. Every day we live

0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:00.840
<v Speaker 2>here in the phone ring in the middle of the

0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:04.119
<v Speaker 2>night to tell us something's happened at home is an

0:23:04.160 --> 0:23:07.320
<v Speaker 2>absolute win. It's an absolute win. And you just have

0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:10.880
<v Speaker 2>to be so aware that those things are coming and

0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:14.359
<v Speaker 2>those things are real, and all the stuff that we're

0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:16.760
<v Speaker 2>talking about over here at work and all those things.

0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:21.399
<v Speaker 2>It's it's not it isn't. It isn't those things that

0:23:21.440 --> 0:23:27.080
<v Speaker 2>are just gonna just bang and you're and then you're

0:23:27.119 --> 0:23:31.960
<v Speaker 2>talking about life before and after, before and after those moments.

0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:34.320
<v Speaker 2>Like I was talking to a friend of mine the

0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:37.919
<v Speaker 2>other day, you know, and I'm forty five, and my

0:23:38.000 --> 0:23:40.439
<v Speaker 2>friend said to me, and it's quite a dark thought,

0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:44.040
<v Speaker 2>but actually it's good to He said, We've he said

0:23:44.320 --> 0:23:48.639
<v Speaker 2>he's forty five also, and he said, we've we've turned

0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:51.840
<v Speaker 2>the corner into sniper's alley. And I said, what do

0:23:51.880 --> 0:23:53.399
<v Speaker 2>you mean. I didn't know what he meant. And he

0:23:53.480 --> 0:23:57.480
<v Speaker 2>said to You're now in an alley and suddenly people

0:23:57.480 --> 0:23:59.600
<v Speaker 2>are going to just and you're going to go, oh

0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:02.840
<v Speaker 2>my god. Like it's just that it's that that shift

0:24:02.880 --> 0:24:05.440
<v Speaker 2>in life of like, oh, this is where like I'm

0:24:05.520 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 2>very fortunate both my parents are still alive, so that's inevitable.

0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:14.199
<v Speaker 2>That's definite, and then you're in this world of just

0:24:14.280 --> 0:24:20.960
<v Speaker 2>absolute unknowns. So I think the older I get, just

0:24:21.000 --> 0:24:24.280
<v Speaker 2>the less I sort of think about work in that way.

0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:28.359
<v Speaker 2>I just don't. And maybe because I've had six months

0:24:28.160 --> 0:24:33.080
<v Speaker 2>of real reflection, six months of not really doing anything,

0:24:33.680 --> 0:24:37.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, started this podcast that I'm really really enjoying.

0:24:38.640 --> 0:24:41.840
<v Speaker 2>Outside of that, I'm writing some stuff. Some of it

0:24:41.920 --> 0:24:45.560
<v Speaker 2>I hope people will see. Other stuff I'm certain they

0:24:45.640 --> 0:24:49.119
<v Speaker 2>never will, you know what I mean? And you know,

0:24:49.440 --> 0:24:52.080
<v Speaker 2>and some of it I hope they never will. That's

0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:54.639
<v Speaker 2>a terrible idea, you know. And you just don't know.

0:24:54.760 --> 0:24:59.359
<v Speaker 2>And so I just think less about work and I

0:24:59.400 --> 0:25:03.600
<v Speaker 2>want to think more about my health and all those

0:25:03.960 --> 0:25:05.119
<v Speaker 2>all those things. You know.

0:25:05.440 --> 0:25:08.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, walk me through what like, like you've had all

0:25:08.720 --> 0:25:11.119
<v Speaker 1>these transitions in your life, walk me through what your

0:25:11.320 --> 0:25:14.199
<v Speaker 1>reflection process looks like in your head, like just for

0:25:14.240 --> 0:25:17.240
<v Speaker 1>you personally, Like it doesn't have to be systematic or perfect,

0:25:17.400 --> 0:25:19.480
<v Speaker 1>Just what is it? What do you go through? Is

0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:23.080
<v Speaker 1>it looking at going well? Am I helping my family?

0:25:23.119 --> 0:25:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Am I taking care of them? Is that the number

0:25:24.600 --> 0:25:26.440
<v Speaker 1>one thing? Or are there other things that go through

0:25:26.440 --> 0:25:28.080
<v Speaker 1>your head? Because I feel like you've had to make

0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:29.240
<v Speaker 1>some big transitions.

0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:31.959
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's that is that's that's the number one. I

0:25:32.000 --> 0:25:34.679
<v Speaker 2>think you're only as happy as your least happy child

0:25:35.200 --> 0:25:41.000
<v Speaker 2>is a wonderful saying, which is without question true. There

0:25:41.080 --> 0:25:45.800
<v Speaker 2>is there is nothing that can happen in your professional

0:25:45.840 --> 0:25:55.320
<v Speaker 2>life that will matter if one of your children is unhealthy, unwell,

0:25:56.840 --> 0:26:01.440
<v Speaker 2>either mentally or physically. This is irrelevant. So that's let's

0:26:01.600 --> 0:26:05.639
<v Speaker 2>park that as a as a given. Yes, very clear

0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:10.680
<v Speaker 2>In terms of my reflection, I mainly I just think

0:26:11.400 --> 0:26:15.960
<v Speaker 2>like I'm so aware of time and the and the

0:26:16.080 --> 0:26:19.240
<v Speaker 2>and the passage of time, and that this is this

0:26:19.400 --> 0:26:21.680
<v Speaker 2>is it, and you have to go, Okay, well, now,

0:26:22.240 --> 0:26:26.399
<v Speaker 2>how do you really really want to use your time?

0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Because I think when I was hosting the show, I

0:26:33.080 --> 0:26:37.959
<v Speaker 2>think I probably knew this at the time, but I

0:26:38.000 --> 0:26:40.560
<v Speaker 2>recognize it more now that I think I said yes

0:26:41.520 --> 0:26:48.560
<v Speaker 2>a lot, perhaps to too much, because I I just

0:26:49.600 --> 0:26:52.720
<v Speaker 2>loved I knew I wasn't going to host that show forever.

0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want it to be the end of the book.

0:26:55.760 --> 0:26:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want it to be the last thing I did,

0:26:58.280 --> 0:27:00.480
<v Speaker 2>so I didn't want it to be a shock when

0:27:00.520 --> 0:27:02.840
<v Speaker 2>I finished the show and said I'm going to go

0:27:02.920 --> 0:27:05.480
<v Speaker 2>back to act again now, because I was very aware

0:27:05.520 --> 0:27:07.320
<v Speaker 2>that there was a lot of people watching that show

0:27:07.440 --> 0:27:10.080
<v Speaker 2>who had no idea that I'd ever acted before. So

0:27:10.160 --> 0:27:13.800
<v Speaker 2>I really just said, yes, I'll do it, I'll be there,

0:27:13.840 --> 0:27:16.919
<v Speaker 2>I'll do it, and I think I understand my reasons

0:27:16.960 --> 0:27:19.880
<v Speaker 2>for it. But now I think mainly the thing I'm

0:27:19.920 --> 0:27:25.320
<v Speaker 2>really thinking is forget what you can do, Forget what's possible,

0:27:25.359 --> 0:27:27.679
<v Speaker 2>Forget what's in front of you, Forget what's offered to

0:27:27.720 --> 0:27:30.760
<v Speaker 2>you or not offered to you. What do you actually

0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:35.159
<v Speaker 2>want to do? What is worthy of your time? What

0:27:35.400 --> 0:27:39.320
<v Speaker 2>is worth not taking your kids to school in the

0:27:39.359 --> 0:27:42.359
<v Speaker 2>morning or picking them up at four o'clock, what other thing?

0:27:42.359 --> 0:27:44.720
<v Speaker 2>Because that's really the question you're asking yourself, you know,

0:27:45.920 --> 0:27:48.199
<v Speaker 2>And like, I don't have like so much money that

0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:50.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't have to ever work again, I really really don't.

0:27:50.840 --> 0:27:53.840
<v Speaker 2>Whatever you might read on the internet, I cannot stress

0:27:53.920 --> 0:27:58.919
<v Speaker 2>you untrue. And so you know, it's that thing of

0:27:59.000 --> 0:28:01.560
<v Speaker 2>just going, well, what do you what do you want

0:28:01.600 --> 0:28:03.680
<v Speaker 2>to do? Is there anything that you want to say?

0:28:04.200 --> 0:28:07.919
<v Speaker 2>And if there isn't, then don't and then and it

0:28:07.920 --> 0:28:11.560
<v Speaker 2>will come, It will will it will, it will come.

0:28:11.640 --> 0:28:16.399
<v Speaker 2>And you know, it's interesting this since moving back to London,

0:28:16.440 --> 0:28:21.280
<v Speaker 2>and I feel in a different cultural space. I'm trying

0:28:21.640 --> 0:28:25.120
<v Speaker 2>my absolute best to hit ten thousand steps a day.

0:28:25.520 --> 0:28:28.399
<v Speaker 2>That's I'm really, really, really trying to do that. And

0:28:28.480 --> 0:28:32.280
<v Speaker 2>so sometimes I'll just go and once the kids are asleep,

0:28:32.440 --> 0:28:34.760
<v Speaker 2>I'll go and I'll be I'll look and I'm looking

0:28:34.800 --> 0:28:38.880
<v Speaker 2>at eight thousand steps and I'm like, babe, she's gonna go.

0:28:38.920 --> 0:28:42.040
<v Speaker 2>And and I'll literally walk up and down the road

0:28:42.520 --> 0:28:45.000
<v Speaker 2>and to come back in. And in that time of walking,

0:28:45.480 --> 0:28:49.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm starting to feel the notion of like, oh, it's

0:28:49.360 --> 0:28:53.040
<v Speaker 2>maybe that's is that an interesting idea, But don't leap

0:28:53.080 --> 0:28:55.960
<v Speaker 2>on it. Yes, don't go, that's it. Let's go, let's

0:28:56.160 --> 0:28:58.880
<v Speaker 2>book a flight, let's pitch it is to go. I

0:28:59.240 --> 0:29:03.280
<v Speaker 2>let's let it. Let's see if it almost just to

0:29:03.320 --> 0:29:05.280
<v Speaker 2>treat it like a plant, really, and we're going to

0:29:05.400 --> 0:29:08.080
<v Speaker 2>water it for a minute, see if there's something there.

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:10.880
<v Speaker 2>And then and already now I'm like, well, thank god

0:29:10.960 --> 0:29:14.880
<v Speaker 2>I didn't go and tell someone about that. Have you

0:29:14.920 --> 0:29:17.600
<v Speaker 2>ever read that thing about doing the thing? Yes, yes,

0:29:17.640 --> 0:29:21.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean that's my I just I just look at

0:29:21.600 --> 0:29:27.560
<v Speaker 2>that almost every day, doing the thing. Just do the thing,

0:29:27.840 --> 0:29:31.840
<v Speaker 2>don't talk about doing the thing. Don't tweet about doing

0:29:31.920 --> 0:29:35.760
<v Speaker 2>the thing, don't just do the thing. The doing the

0:29:35.800 --> 0:29:38.880
<v Speaker 2>thing is the thing, and that's all I'm really trying

0:29:38.920 --> 0:29:39.120
<v Speaker 2>to do.

0:29:39.400 --> 0:29:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's it's fascinating because I find, like, you know,

0:29:42.040 --> 0:29:45.000
<v Speaker 1>you've been performing, as you said, you love performing when

0:29:45.040 --> 0:29:48.400
<v Speaker 1>you're a kid, You've been performing for decades now, and

0:29:48.520 --> 0:29:51.120
<v Speaker 1>it's almost like an identity shift when you stop yourself

0:29:51.160 --> 0:29:54.560
<v Speaker 1>from performing an in a I'm talking about performing in

0:29:54.600 --> 0:29:56.960
<v Speaker 1>a play or in a movie or on stage, Like

0:29:57.040 --> 0:30:00.280
<v Speaker 1>you're not allowing yourself to do something that I feel

0:30:00.400 --> 0:30:02.600
<v Speaker 1>so pure and true, and I can see in your

0:30:02.600 --> 0:30:04.320
<v Speaker 1>eyes when you were talking about it, like brings you

0:30:04.360 --> 0:30:09.600
<v Speaker 1>to life and almost removing yourself away from that requires

0:30:09.640 --> 0:30:13.920
<v Speaker 1>you to rethink your identity a little, like who are

0:30:13.960 --> 0:30:16.320
<v Speaker 1>you today? Or how are you feeling about who you

0:30:16.360 --> 0:30:19.160
<v Speaker 1>are when you're not performing when you've been so used

0:30:19.160 --> 0:30:21.480
<v Speaker 1>to entertaining crowds for so long.

0:30:21.640 --> 0:30:25.480
<v Speaker 2>But that's ego. I think that's ego. That's what we're

0:30:25.520 --> 0:30:29.320
<v Speaker 2>talking about, is ego. I lived for eight and a

0:30:29.360 --> 0:30:35.719
<v Speaker 2>half years what could only be described as a narcissists stream.

0:30:36.440 --> 0:30:40.760
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I mean? And I cannot stress

0:30:40.800 --> 0:30:43.640
<v Speaker 2>how much I think being the host of a late

0:30:43.720 --> 0:30:48.240
<v Speaker 2>night TV show is one of the greatest jobs in

0:30:48.280 --> 0:30:52.120
<v Speaker 2>the world. I think it's amazing. I think it is brilliant. Like,

0:30:52.480 --> 0:30:55.120
<v Speaker 2>my god, how lucky am I to have done that?

0:30:55.440 --> 0:30:59.800
<v Speaker 2>I think it's amazing. You know. But if you were

0:30:59.800 --> 0:31:03.880
<v Speaker 2>an other way and climb you, you know, drive into

0:31:03.920 --> 0:31:08.160
<v Speaker 2>a studio lot, you drive past a massive picture of

0:31:08.200 --> 0:31:12.440
<v Speaker 2>your face. So that's that's the first thing you see

0:31:12.440 --> 0:31:16.160
<v Speaker 2>when you get to work is a huge picture of

0:31:16.200 --> 0:31:20.400
<v Speaker 2>your face and your name. You then park in an

0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:25.040
<v Speaker 2>amazing parking spot with your name on it. You go in,

0:31:26.400 --> 0:31:28.400
<v Speaker 2>like I tee. The thing I miss most about the show,

0:31:28.440 --> 0:31:31.120
<v Speaker 2>it was my like I miss seeing there's a great

0:31:31.200 --> 0:31:33.240
<v Speaker 2>lady called Tea who was on the front desk and

0:31:33.360 --> 0:31:36.520
<v Speaker 2>see Bess and I would just my interaction with her

0:31:36.560 --> 0:31:38.920
<v Speaker 2>every day. I just grew to love it so much.

0:31:39.480 --> 0:31:42.280
<v Speaker 2>Morning Tea, Morning James, how's it going? All good? And

0:31:42.320 --> 0:31:44.560
<v Speaker 2>as I walk through the door, she'd say, have a

0:31:44.560 --> 0:31:46.440
<v Speaker 2>good one, and I go, have a good one. And

0:31:46.480 --> 0:31:48.360
<v Speaker 2>it would be a racter who could say, at first

0:31:48.840 --> 0:31:51.520
<v Speaker 2>you get in a lift, you come out the lift

0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:54.760
<v Speaker 2>to be greeted by another picture of your face. Do

0:31:54.760 --> 0:31:56.760
<v Speaker 2>you know it's like another picture of your face and

0:31:56.800 --> 0:31:59.520
<v Speaker 2>your name. You turn a corner and then you start

0:31:59.560 --> 0:32:03.560
<v Speaker 2>walking up corridor and there is just your name and

0:32:03.640 --> 0:32:08.440
<v Speaker 2>faces everywhere, right everywhere. Then you get to say, well,

0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:09.760
<v Speaker 2>what are we going to do tonight? Back up, and

0:32:09.800 --> 0:32:12.760
<v Speaker 2>then you get to like shoot a sketch with Matt

0:32:12.840 --> 0:32:16.600
<v Speaker 2>Damon or drive around in a car with Stevie Wonder.

0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:20.640
<v Speaker 2>Then you'll come back into work, get dressed. You work

0:32:20.680 --> 0:32:24.080
<v Speaker 2>also in a gang of people who are the funniest

0:32:24.080 --> 0:32:26.920
<v Speaker 2>people you've ever met in your life ever, and they

0:32:27.040 --> 0:32:29.560
<v Speaker 2>only want to try and make you seem funnier and

0:32:29.560 --> 0:32:32.480
<v Speaker 2>that's amazing. And you chat with them and you're hanging

0:32:32.480 --> 0:32:35.360
<v Speaker 2>out with them, and then good day, bad day, in

0:32:35.440 --> 0:32:38.080
<v Speaker 2>different day. Your day will end with a standing ovation

0:32:40.360 --> 0:32:44.440
<v Speaker 2>right step out of a curtain and four hundred people

0:32:44.480 --> 0:32:48.120
<v Speaker 2>will go nuts. And you've got to remember. And the

0:32:48.200 --> 0:32:50.360
<v Speaker 2>thing that I would just remember all the time is

0:32:50.440 --> 0:32:54.160
<v Speaker 2>the other side of this camera is a sign that

0:32:54.200 --> 0:32:57.840
<v Speaker 2>says applause, you know what I mean. There is people

0:32:57.920 --> 0:33:01.440
<v Speaker 2>going it go you know what I mean. And the

0:33:01.560 --> 0:33:05.280
<v Speaker 2>walk down from the from the office green room to

0:33:05.320 --> 0:33:09.400
<v Speaker 2>the studio is an amazing change in your psyche because

0:33:09.400 --> 0:33:12.200
<v Speaker 2>you're with all you're buying and very slowly. I remember

0:33:12.240 --> 0:33:14.560
<v Speaker 2>the first show because really you're in a gang. You're

0:33:14.600 --> 0:33:16.280
<v Speaker 2>in a team where you make a late night show.

0:33:16.520 --> 0:33:20.560
<v Speaker 2>It's just a gang. You're all making it together. And

0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:22.680
<v Speaker 2>then at some point people tap you on the shoulder

0:33:22.680 --> 0:33:27.800
<v Speaker 2>and go have a good one. And then you are

0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:30.960
<v Speaker 2>surrounded by people. You walk it, microphone, make up, touch

0:33:30.960 --> 0:33:33.280
<v Speaker 2>at the You enter a door and you hear, you know,

0:33:34.600 --> 0:33:37.160
<v Speaker 2>the other side of this thing. You hear four hundred

0:33:37.160 --> 0:33:40.640
<v Speaker 2>people screaming. You're going, okay, that's everybody on your feet.

0:33:40.760 --> 0:33:44.440
<v Speaker 2>Let's go. This is how we do that. Another look

0:33:44.440 --> 0:33:49.960
<v Speaker 2>at the jar right everywhere. Here we go, let's get around, okay,

0:33:49.960 --> 0:33:53.640
<v Speaker 2>and we got five four three, And you find yourself

0:33:53.800 --> 0:34:00.000
<v Speaker 2>stood behind a curtain, completely on your own, and suddenly

0:34:00.120 --> 0:34:02.480
<v Speaker 2>this team effort, you're just you are on your own,

0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:07.600
<v Speaker 2>and the spotlight's behind you. So this this circle is

0:34:07.600 --> 0:34:15.480
<v Speaker 2>on the curtain and the shadow of you. And I

0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:20.000
<v Speaker 2>used to stand there and open my hands, take a breath.

0:34:20.680 --> 0:34:22.640
<v Speaker 2>I would look and I would say to him, I

0:34:22.680 --> 0:34:25.200
<v Speaker 2>always have this feeling that my granddad is getting a

0:34:25.239 --> 0:34:28.000
<v Speaker 2>real kick out of all this. So he is not

0:34:28.160 --> 0:34:32.040
<v Speaker 2>with me in any spiritual sense. He's just in for

0:34:32.120 --> 0:34:36.440
<v Speaker 2>the right of it, you know, like I know that

0:34:36.480 --> 0:34:39.479
<v Speaker 2>he just you know, he's a jazz musician. He would

0:34:39.520 --> 0:34:42.800
<v Speaker 2>be like, this is fun, Jose, you know, and I

0:34:42.800 --> 0:34:44.200
<v Speaker 2>would open my eyes and I would look up and

0:34:44.239 --> 0:34:46.400
<v Speaker 2>I would say, be with me, Just be with me,

0:34:46.880 --> 0:34:50.439
<v Speaker 2>and be here now and for the next hour. Your

0:34:50.480 --> 0:34:53.359
<v Speaker 2>only job is to enjoy yourself as much as you can.

0:34:53.680 --> 0:34:56.799
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter what's happened all day, it doesn't matter

0:34:56.800 --> 0:34:59.440
<v Speaker 2>what happens on tomorrow show. You're only a job is

0:34:59.480 --> 0:35:02.680
<v Speaker 2>to enjoy this right now. I and I did, and

0:35:02.760 --> 0:35:05.880
<v Speaker 2>I you know, we did one one hundred and ninety

0:35:06.239 --> 0:35:11.719
<v Speaker 2>eight shows, I think, and I just loved it. I

0:35:11.760 --> 0:35:16.399
<v Speaker 2>loved it. So it's a lot to leave behind, it's

0:35:16.440 --> 0:35:20.120
<v Speaker 2>a lot to walk away from. But I also think

0:35:20.960 --> 0:35:29.800
<v Speaker 2>this period of silence is so good for me. I'm

0:35:30.040 --> 0:35:33.040
<v Speaker 2>getting as I'm getting as much or more from this

0:35:33.200 --> 0:35:36.360
<v Speaker 2>period now, Like I you know, it's so odd that

0:35:36.400 --> 0:35:38.479
<v Speaker 2>I used to do that every day that then even

0:35:38.520 --> 0:35:40.520
<v Speaker 2>speaking to you now, I'm like, God, I haven't spoken

0:35:40.560 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 2>to anybody in this sense.

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:45.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, since.

0:35:47.480 --> 0:35:53.360
<v Speaker 2>April, i'n't done anything, and so it feels odd. You're like,

0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:56.759
<v Speaker 2>oh man, this is and the podcast I'm doing I'm

0:35:56.760 --> 0:36:00.000
<v Speaker 2>loving because I'm in your chair and I'm but even

0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:02.239
<v Speaker 2>now this feels unnatural, and there is a feeling of

0:36:02.360 --> 0:36:05.799
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know what I've got to say. But

0:36:05.840 --> 0:36:07.759
<v Speaker 2>then you go, but I'm gonna I'm gonna get to

0:36:07.800 --> 0:36:11.680
<v Speaker 2>meet Jay, so that would be lovely, you know, So

0:36:13.080 --> 0:36:19.600
<v Speaker 2>what is life without it? It's it's great. It's great,

0:36:19.640 --> 0:36:23.400
<v Speaker 2>I think because I really really always knew that this

0:36:23.680 --> 0:36:26.439
<v Speaker 2>wasn't going to be forever. I always knew I wanted

0:36:26.480 --> 0:36:35.279
<v Speaker 2>to leave before it ebbed away. I just knew that

0:36:35.360 --> 0:36:39.800
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to to to do it and then stop

0:36:39.880 --> 0:36:42.920
<v Speaker 2>doing it and see if there's something else, and if

0:36:42.920 --> 0:36:50.120
<v Speaker 2>there isn't, okay, great, who could wish for more? Do

0:36:50.160 --> 0:36:51.680
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean? I guess that's the thing

0:36:51.800 --> 0:36:55.800
<v Speaker 2>is I look now and I think I don't want

0:36:56.040 --> 0:37:02.759
<v Speaker 2>any more stuff or fame or all those things. Like

0:37:02.800 --> 0:37:05.880
<v Speaker 2>what I'd really love to do is go. I wonder

0:37:05.920 --> 0:37:08.840
<v Speaker 2>if I've got one more thing to write. I wonder

0:37:08.840 --> 0:37:13.760
<v Speaker 2>if there's one more thing to say, Like I wonder

0:37:13.800 --> 0:37:15.279
<v Speaker 2>if there's just something else.

0:37:15.400 --> 0:37:18.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't know yet what a brilliant way to live.

0:37:18.160 --> 0:37:21.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, when you just said that the idea of

0:37:21.440 --> 0:37:23.799
<v Speaker 1>I knew that it wasn't going to last forever, and

0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:27.680
<v Speaker 1>I didn't want it to. That's so the opposite of

0:37:27.719 --> 0:37:31.360
<v Speaker 1>how we're conditioned to think. Most of us are conditioned

0:37:31.400 --> 0:37:33.800
<v Speaker 1>to believe when you find something good, hold on to

0:37:33.880 --> 0:37:36.560
<v Speaker 1>it forever, make sure it lasts forever, because you never know.

0:37:37.239 --> 0:37:39.719
<v Speaker 1>And I love your perspective because I think not only

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:42.719
<v Speaker 1>is it healthier for the mind and the ego, it's

0:37:42.760 --> 0:37:47.080
<v Speaker 1>actually the reality of life that everything is ephemeral and

0:37:47.160 --> 0:37:50.120
<v Speaker 1>transient and it will move anyway. Yeah, and so you

0:37:50.239 --> 0:37:53.360
<v Speaker 1>wanting to hold onto something that isn't yours to control

0:37:54.120 --> 0:37:55.720
<v Speaker 1>is almost a fool's game anyway.

0:37:55.960 --> 0:37:59.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, then you're a kid with a balloon. Yeah, right,

0:37:59.400 --> 0:38:03.120
<v Speaker 2>and you got hold I'm never I'm never ever going

0:38:03.200 --> 0:38:06.239
<v Speaker 2>to let this balloon go, right, And ignoring for this

0:38:06.280 --> 0:38:09.200
<v Speaker 2>for a second, the environmental impact of letting a balloon go.

0:38:09.719 --> 0:38:13.880
<v Speaker 2>Let's talk about it just metaphorically. You know that you go, oh,

0:38:14.239 --> 0:38:17.879
<v Speaker 2>this is my balloon, and hold this Broun'd never ever, ever, ever,

0:38:17.960 --> 0:38:20.120
<v Speaker 2>ever going to let go of this balloon. In fact,

0:38:20.239 --> 0:38:21.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to go I'm going to tie it to

0:38:21.640 --> 0:38:24.480
<v Speaker 2>my wrist so it can't disappear. Because that happened to

0:38:24.520 --> 0:38:26.640
<v Speaker 2>me once before, and it you know what I mean,

0:38:26.680 --> 0:38:30.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna just you know, that's it. And then slowly

0:38:30.760 --> 0:38:33.279
<v Speaker 2>that balloon will just wilt and it will run out

0:38:33.440 --> 0:38:35.839
<v Speaker 2>of the thing that made it great and it will

0:38:35.920 --> 0:38:38.640
<v Speaker 2>just then be. Then it's tied to your wrist and

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:42.840
<v Speaker 2>you're dragging it behind you, right, and actually there's something

0:38:42.920 --> 0:38:48.200
<v Speaker 2>quite beautiful. And again, environmentally, I'm not encouraging this. We

0:38:48.320 --> 0:38:51.160
<v Speaker 2>didn't we didn't know about this when we were kids.

0:38:51.520 --> 0:38:54.960
<v Speaker 2>When you let go of a balloon, it's magical, magical.

0:38:56.960 --> 0:38:59.040
<v Speaker 2>And then you see it and you're like, oh my god,

0:38:59.400 --> 0:39:01.680
<v Speaker 2>I used to have that. I used to hold on

0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:05.120
<v Speaker 2>to that and look at it. Now, look it's just

0:39:06.120 --> 0:39:08.879
<v Speaker 2>that's amazing. And then you go and now I haven't

0:39:08.880 --> 0:39:12.279
<v Speaker 2>got a balloon. And then you go, well, maybe I'll

0:39:12.280 --> 0:39:15.640
<v Speaker 2>get another one. Yeah, maybe there'll be another balloon, and

0:39:15.680 --> 0:39:18.960
<v Speaker 2>maybe it'll be a different shape, or it'll be shinier

0:39:19.080 --> 0:39:23.000
<v Speaker 2>or whatever. It is. Like, you've got to be able

0:39:23.080 --> 0:39:29.040
<v Speaker 2>to let go of stuff to make new things come in.

0:39:29.120 --> 0:39:32.880
<v Speaker 2>You've got to have the space and the time to

0:39:33.160 --> 0:39:37.360
<v Speaker 2>encounter something new. A friend of mine a year ago,

0:39:37.680 --> 0:39:46.759
<v Speaker 2>maybe less, had his heart broken in the most brutal circumstances.

0:39:47.840 --> 0:39:52.960
<v Speaker 2>It was his first love, first girlfriend, and they broke

0:39:53.040 --> 0:39:59.360
<v Speaker 2>up and he was just not in a good way.

0:40:00.800 --> 0:40:04.520
<v Speaker 2>And this was his first real proper serious girlfriend, certainly

0:40:04.560 --> 0:40:08.239
<v Speaker 2>the first time he'd been in love before. I just

0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:14.080
<v Speaker 2>found myself saying to him. I was like, this is great,

0:40:14.960 --> 0:40:20.239
<v Speaker 2>This is great because you really only understand what love

0:40:20.360 --> 0:40:25.560
<v Speaker 2>is once your heart's been broken. You understand how tender

0:40:25.600 --> 0:40:28.320
<v Speaker 2>it is. And I was like, and you understand it now,

0:40:28.680 --> 0:40:32.839
<v Speaker 2>and what you're looking at this all wrong? You get

0:40:32.880 --> 0:40:36.040
<v Speaker 2>to do it again. You get to do this again.

0:40:36.760 --> 0:40:40.839
<v Speaker 2>You're going to meet someone else and feel all these

0:40:40.880 --> 0:40:47.120
<v Speaker 2>feelings and perhaps you'll go into that relationship learning what

0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:51.720
<v Speaker 2>you've learned from this relationship and that will then feed

0:40:51.840 --> 0:40:56.680
<v Speaker 2>that relationship in a different way. And he's just met someone, right,

0:40:57.640 --> 0:41:00.319
<v Speaker 2>and he's like, oh my god, this is amazing saying

0:41:00.320 --> 0:41:00.879
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like.

0:41:01.000 --> 0:41:02.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, got that balloon again.

0:41:02.239 --> 0:41:05.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like that's it, that's it. And so again, I

0:41:05.840 --> 0:41:09.520
<v Speaker 2>think it's expectation is the thing that that that makes

0:41:09.560 --> 0:41:12.719
<v Speaker 2>us hold onto stuff. If you can just ebb and

0:41:12.800 --> 0:41:15.560
<v Speaker 2>flow with stuff, you're going to find it so much

0:41:15.600 --> 0:41:19.360
<v Speaker 2>easier to take the good, the bad, and the everything

0:41:19.360 --> 0:41:21.800
<v Speaker 2>in between. It's just all being good for you.

0:41:22.360 --> 0:41:26.600
<v Speaker 3>I think, James, you're a philosopher who knew we're going

0:41:26.640 --> 0:41:28.759
<v Speaker 3>to add to the list we're gonna have to add

0:41:28.800 --> 0:41:31.400
<v Speaker 3>it to the list of list of the tis No

0:41:31.480 --> 0:41:35.080
<v Speaker 3>genuine I mean that visual you just painted of the balloon,

0:41:36.120 --> 0:41:37.799
<v Speaker 3>that's going to stay with me for a long time.

0:41:38.400 --> 0:41:39.640
<v Speaker 1>I've probably never heard it.

0:41:39.840 --> 0:41:41.840
<v Speaker 2>I didn't, I don't, I don't. I don't know that

0:41:41.920 --> 0:41:44.080
<v Speaker 2>it's a thing. I think we just might have you

0:41:44.160 --> 0:41:46.960
<v Speaker 2>made it up, but it is so made it up. Yeah,

0:41:47.239 --> 0:41:48.960
<v Speaker 2>there's taken Banksy's image.

0:41:51.000 --> 0:41:56.800
<v Speaker 1>That's it's such a beautiful way of sharing that lesson.

0:41:56.840 --> 0:42:01.080
<v Speaker 1>There's you know, a zen saying that says what's holding

0:42:01.120 --> 0:42:05.200
<v Speaker 1>you back is what you're holding on to? Yeah, and

0:42:05.640 --> 0:42:08.160
<v Speaker 1>that's you know. But that visual that you just painted

0:42:08.280 --> 0:42:11.920
<v Speaker 1>is so powerful. And even the visual that you painted

0:42:11.960 --> 0:42:15.960
<v Speaker 1>of saying that you come out to all this ruptuous

0:42:16.040 --> 0:42:19.640
<v Speaker 1>applause and you know, the whuhahn, the idea of you

0:42:19.719 --> 0:42:22.120
<v Speaker 1>coming out into the stage, but you're thinking about the

0:42:22.160 --> 0:42:25.640
<v Speaker 1>fact that the screen says applause on the other side.

0:42:25.480 --> 0:42:28.200
<v Speaker 2>Because I think if you don't, it's really dangerous. I

0:42:28.239 --> 0:42:29.560
<v Speaker 2>think it's really dangerous.

0:42:29.600 --> 0:42:32.640
<v Speaker 1>Were you conscious of that? And have you been conscious

0:42:32.680 --> 0:42:34.359
<v Speaker 1>of that the whole time in your career.

0:42:34.080 --> 0:42:35.799
<v Speaker 2>Because not the whole time.

0:42:35.840 --> 0:42:39.520
<v Speaker 1>When did that become like a real Because that's Marcus

0:42:39.520 --> 0:42:44.160
<v Speaker 1>aurelius meditations at its best. Marcus Aurelius famously had a

0:42:45.400 --> 0:42:48.560
<v Speaker 1>Marcus Aurelius. When he would walk around the Roman town square,

0:42:49.120 --> 0:42:52.719
<v Speaker 1>he had an assistant that would follow him around, and

0:42:53.080 --> 0:42:55.440
<v Speaker 1>the role of the assistant was that whenever anyone in

0:42:55.440 --> 0:42:57.839
<v Speaker 1>the town square would say, Marcus Aurelius, you are such

0:42:57.840 --> 0:43:01.080
<v Speaker 1>an amazing emperor. You are phenomenal, You're in credible, the

0:43:01.120 --> 0:43:04.200
<v Speaker 1>assistant's only job was to whisper in his ear, You're

0:43:04.320 --> 0:43:06.960
<v Speaker 1>just a man, You're just a man. Wow, and that

0:43:07.120 --> 0:43:08.920
<v Speaker 1>sort of practice. And so when you said that, that's

0:43:08.960 --> 0:43:10.600
<v Speaker 1>what that's the first thing I thought of. When I

0:43:10.640 --> 0:43:12.600
<v Speaker 1>didn't know you said the applause, I was like, wow,

0:43:12.640 --> 0:43:14.000
<v Speaker 1>you know you're you're living that.

0:43:14.200 --> 0:43:18.560
<v Speaker 2>I think I've probably fallen into the pitfall of thinking

0:43:18.640 --> 0:43:20.839
<v Speaker 2>I was more of a dude than I really was

0:43:22.000 --> 0:43:26.000
<v Speaker 2>quite early issue in my career. I think, I guess

0:43:26.080 --> 0:43:28.759
<v Speaker 2>in a way, I think I'm I think I don't know.

0:43:29.120 --> 0:43:35.240
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm sort of entering phase three, right, Yeah,

0:43:35.280 --> 0:43:41.200
<v Speaker 2>if phase one was history Boys, writing Gavin and Stacey.

0:43:42.360 --> 0:43:48.000
<v Speaker 2>Phase two was moving was one was going to Broadway

0:43:48.040 --> 0:43:50.880
<v Speaker 2>to do One Man, Two Governors, everything that came with that,

0:43:51.040 --> 0:43:53.440
<v Speaker 2>and then ending up hosting a late night TV show.

0:43:53.760 --> 0:43:56.319
<v Speaker 2>And phase three will be whatever this is. And I

0:43:56.360 --> 0:44:01.560
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I I mean, look, I've fallen into all

0:44:01.640 --> 0:44:04.319
<v Speaker 2>those pitfalls of thinking that you're more of a dude

0:44:04.400 --> 0:44:08.279
<v Speaker 2>than you really are, thinking any of this is it's

0:44:08.360 --> 0:44:11.880
<v Speaker 2>like fame and that was successful whatever, you know, level

0:44:11.920 --> 0:44:15.360
<v Speaker 2>of that I kind of have in a way like

0:44:15.440 --> 0:44:19.080
<v Speaker 2>it's on the whole a picnic, right, It's great, it's great,

0:44:19.120 --> 0:44:23.360
<v Speaker 2>it's it's lovely. People come up, they talk about things

0:44:23.400 --> 0:44:26.279
<v Speaker 2>and that all you things that they that they've liked

0:44:26.520 --> 0:44:29.680
<v Speaker 2>or enjoyed. And certainly being back here in London, you know,

0:44:29.760 --> 0:44:32.960
<v Speaker 2>it's amazing hearing people talk about like Gavin and Stacey

0:44:32.960 --> 0:44:35.040
<v Speaker 2>and stuff which obviously I would never hear in Americans.

0:44:35.360 --> 0:44:37.560
<v Speaker 2>And I'm so proud of that show. And I think

0:44:37.600 --> 0:44:41.919
<v Speaker 2>it's I've started to think of like, don't confuse the selfie, right,

0:44:42.480 --> 0:44:45.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I think for me, I think it's

0:44:45.120 --> 0:44:50.400
<v Speaker 2>different if you're like Brad Pitt, Harry Styles. Do you

0:44:50.480 --> 0:44:53.840
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean adele like, I think that's a different,

0:44:54.239 --> 0:44:57.399
<v Speaker 2>that's that's a whole. That's an aura and an orb

0:44:57.480 --> 0:44:59.839
<v Speaker 2>of fame, which I think is not what I'm talking

0:45:00.000 --> 0:45:03.479
<v Speaker 2>about now, whereas I think on the whole, when people

0:45:03.560 --> 0:45:06.000
<v Speaker 2>are asking for a selfie with me, it isn't really

0:45:06.400 --> 0:45:09.440
<v Speaker 2>anything to do with me. I think it's just people go, well,

0:45:09.480 --> 0:45:12.319
<v Speaker 2>this is going to be good on my story, right,

0:45:12.920 --> 0:45:15.799
<v Speaker 2>I do no, I do no, I'm not That is

0:45:15.880 --> 0:45:19.600
<v Speaker 2>not any fogy. I genuinely believe that. I think people

0:45:19.640 --> 0:45:25.560
<v Speaker 2>are going, well, he's there, he's only over there, this

0:45:25.800 --> 0:45:29.920
<v Speaker 2>is gonna this is going to be great in amongst

0:45:30.080 --> 0:45:33.799
<v Speaker 2>the other four photos of my day, right and so,

0:45:34.080 --> 0:45:36.799
<v Speaker 2>and I love taking photo people. I don't say no.

0:45:36.920 --> 0:45:38.200
<v Speaker 2>So I used to say no when I was with

0:45:38.280 --> 0:45:40.759
<v Speaker 2>my kids or but but now they have a bit

0:45:40.960 --> 0:45:43.080
<v Speaker 2>a bit better understanding of it, and I don't need

0:45:43.120 --> 0:45:44.800
<v Speaker 2>to hold their hands all the time. Since that was

0:45:44.880 --> 0:45:47.720
<v Speaker 2>my My wife was like, you cannot give your attention

0:45:47.760 --> 0:45:51.040
<v Speaker 2>to someone else when they're that night. So Charlotte master

0:45:51.160 --> 0:45:53.680
<v Speaker 2>Road whatever, So Charlotte siks. So if I'm out with

0:45:53.760 --> 0:45:56.359
<v Speaker 2>like you know, my two eldists, it's always a lot

0:45:56.360 --> 0:45:59.520
<v Speaker 2>easier now, and it's people are people are really great

0:45:59.520 --> 0:46:03.239
<v Speaker 2>in corner. But I don't ever, ever in my ever

0:46:03.320 --> 0:46:07.520
<v Speaker 2>in my life, go I got all these people, they

0:46:07.800 --> 0:46:10.239
<v Speaker 2>just want to photo. What can I say? I just

0:46:10.280 --> 0:46:14.000
<v Speaker 2>go no, no, no, this is They didn't find me,

0:46:14.239 --> 0:46:16.839
<v Speaker 2>They've been waiting for me. I just happened to be

0:46:16.880 --> 0:46:19.319
<v Speaker 2>in the same Joe and the juices there, you know

0:46:19.320 --> 0:46:22.560
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. And it's like, as well, you.

0:46:22.520 --> 0:46:26.120
<v Speaker 1>Know, I love that. That's amazing. But no, I do

0:46:26.200 --> 0:46:29.600
<v Speaker 1>love how our conscious you're aware of that, and it's

0:46:29.680 --> 0:46:35.640
<v Speaker 1>a it's it's it's so it's so fun because that mindset,

0:46:35.800 --> 0:46:40.040
<v Speaker 1>that approach to success, that approach to fame, makes everything

0:46:40.160 --> 0:46:42.960
<v Speaker 1>just feel wonderful and beautiful and it makes everything so

0:46:43.719 --> 0:46:45.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, in the sense of when I don't I

0:46:45.120 --> 0:46:48.040
<v Speaker 1>don't mean perfection, I mean in the sense of it

0:46:48.080 --> 0:46:52.120
<v Speaker 1>gives you a sense of joying and interaction, removing the

0:46:52.200 --> 0:46:54.799
<v Speaker 1>expectation and the weight that can come with it.

0:46:55.239 --> 0:46:57.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I also just think you have to just take

0:46:57.320 --> 0:47:01.400
<v Speaker 2>it all with a bag of salt. Yeah, all of it, everything,

0:47:02.520 --> 0:47:07.680
<v Speaker 2>everything good bad. You know, it's if you just can

0:47:07.760 --> 0:47:13.400
<v Speaker 2>take it with the same bag of soult and distance

0:47:13.480 --> 0:47:17.520
<v Speaker 2>yourself from it, you can just sort of go well

0:47:17.560 --> 0:47:22.439
<v Speaker 2>that's over there, that's happening over there, and but I'm

0:47:22.520 --> 0:47:26.840
<v Speaker 2>but what's really I'm here, and here are my friends

0:47:26.880 --> 0:47:28.759
<v Speaker 2>and my fan and all those things, and just and

0:47:28.840 --> 0:47:33.520
<v Speaker 2>also just being so aware of like how lucky you are,

0:47:34.040 --> 0:47:38.000
<v Speaker 2>how lucky you are, and if you lose sense of that.

0:47:38.360 --> 0:47:41.560
<v Speaker 2>And I understand when people do, by the way, and

0:47:41.640 --> 0:47:46.560
<v Speaker 2>I have, you know, other points in my career, in

0:47:46.560 --> 0:47:48.680
<v Speaker 2>my life, and I don't. I'm not walking around like

0:47:48.760 --> 0:47:52.520
<v Speaker 2>this every day. I have all those same things, right,

0:47:53.360 --> 0:47:57.080
<v Speaker 2>So this it's not like I'm sort of floating around

0:47:57.200 --> 0:48:00.759
<v Speaker 2>like I'm really really not. And a lot of this

0:48:00.880 --> 0:48:03.239
<v Speaker 2>really is predicated on just how much sleep I get.

0:48:03.320 --> 0:48:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's true for all of us.

0:48:07.040 --> 0:48:07.919
<v Speaker 2>Like that is it?

0:48:08.080 --> 0:48:10.279
<v Speaker 1>You know what I've been on this supplement rec I

0:48:10.320 --> 0:48:13.279
<v Speaker 1>was talking to my So I'm very into you know,

0:48:13.360 --> 0:48:15.520
<v Speaker 1>buyer hacking and health and all the rest of it.

0:48:15.719 --> 0:48:18.440
<v Speaker 1>So I was I was been testing this supplement I've

0:48:18.440 --> 0:48:21.399
<v Speaker 1>been having for the last thirty days, and it's it's

0:48:21.440 --> 0:48:24.440
<v Speaker 1>like boosted my mitochondrias so much that I can't get

0:48:24.440 --> 0:48:26.719
<v Speaker 1>to sleep. I have so much energy. And I was

0:48:26.719 --> 0:48:28.439
<v Speaker 1>telling I was telling my doctor, I was like, hey,

0:48:28.520 --> 0:48:30.960
<v Speaker 1>I really want to sleep like I enjoy sleep. I'm

0:48:30.960 --> 0:48:34.760
<v Speaker 1>someone I'm not someone who sacrificed to sleep. I enjoy sleep, sleep,

0:48:34.920 --> 0:48:36.480
<v Speaker 1>and I haven't been able to I haven't really been

0:48:36.520 --> 0:48:38.960
<v Speaker 1>able to sleep because of this one supplement.

0:48:38.520 --> 0:48:40.719
<v Speaker 2>That anything to do with that. Also jet lag in

0:48:40.760 --> 0:48:41.839
<v Speaker 2>the time difference.

0:48:41.560 --> 0:48:43.040
<v Speaker 1>I think there's a bit of that, But I've been

0:48:43.040 --> 0:48:44.840
<v Speaker 1>here for like thirty days now, so I'm like it

0:48:44.880 --> 0:48:46.600
<v Speaker 1>should have gone and after a week or two. But

0:48:46.640 --> 0:48:49.120
<v Speaker 1>I agree with you, coming from la to London is

0:48:49.160 --> 0:48:52.200
<v Speaker 1>the harshest jet lag, right because I.

0:48:52.160 --> 0:48:54.160
<v Speaker 2>Go from sleeping and I really get used to it.

0:48:54.200 --> 0:48:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh it's really rough, and so it could be that.

0:48:57.040 --> 0:48:59.320
<v Speaker 1>But I feel like, yeah.

0:48:59.239 --> 0:49:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Sleep is so rarely I think that I'm saying rarely

0:49:02.200 --> 0:49:03.920
<v Speaker 2>talk about We probably talk about it more now than

0:49:03.920 --> 0:49:06.520
<v Speaker 2>we ever have in the last forty years. But like,

0:49:08.040 --> 0:49:13.760
<v Speaker 2>sleep is this extraordinary gift and I think I'm probably

0:49:13.800 --> 0:49:16.160
<v Speaker 2>more aware of it now because I've got a twelve

0:49:16.239 --> 0:49:20.560
<v Speaker 2>year old who is who seems to think that sleep

0:49:20.680 --> 0:49:23.680
<v Speaker 2>is some sort of punishment, you know what I mean,

0:49:23.800 --> 0:49:28.400
<v Speaker 2>Like he's sleepers, Like why would you do this to me?

0:49:28.480 --> 0:49:31.960
<v Speaker 2>And like, dude, I don't want to be awake right now,

0:49:32.040 --> 0:49:38.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, And it's only like in in Alan Debotton's

0:49:38.160 --> 0:49:41.040
<v Speaker 2>new book, Please, which I just bought for you as

0:49:41.160 --> 0:49:44.759
<v Speaker 2>a gift. I think it's called a Therapeutic Journey. A

0:49:44.840 --> 0:49:47.799
<v Speaker 2>therapeutic Journey which I bought for you, is that I

0:49:47.800 --> 0:49:50.480
<v Speaker 2>don't know if you want to plug other people's books. No, please, No,

0:49:50.680 --> 0:49:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm not as good as How to Live Like a.

0:49:53.160 --> 0:49:56.759
<v Speaker 1>Man and a School of Life. I'm a big fan

0:49:56.880 --> 0:49:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Genius's genius, very big fans.

0:49:58.640 --> 0:50:00.600
<v Speaker 2>He's got a section in that book where he talks

0:50:00.600 --> 0:50:03.200
<v Speaker 2>about sleep, and he says, when you've got a newborn baby,

0:50:04.280 --> 0:50:06.719
<v Speaker 2>when you've got a newborn baby, you are very Your

0:50:07.000 --> 0:50:10.880
<v Speaker 2>only intention is to put this child into a routine

0:50:11.480 --> 0:50:13.960
<v Speaker 2>and make sure that they sleep at the right time

0:50:14.000 --> 0:50:16.640
<v Speaker 2>for the right amount of times. Therefore, you feed it

0:50:16.680 --> 0:50:19.000
<v Speaker 2>the right food to make sure it's the you know,

0:50:19.600 --> 0:50:21.600
<v Speaker 2>the right We have to because if you don't get

0:50:21.640 --> 0:50:24.640
<v Speaker 2>the right sleep, they are going to be awful tomorrow.

0:50:25.800 --> 0:50:30.759
<v Speaker 2>And then at some point we just decide, well, I

0:50:30.800 --> 0:50:34.400
<v Speaker 2>don't need to do that. That's only for a baby.

0:50:34.800 --> 0:50:41.760
<v Speaker 2>I can sit with my phone at midnight just looking

0:50:42.719 --> 0:50:46.640
<v Speaker 2>a stream of thirty second videos to then character to

0:50:46.800 --> 0:50:50.240
<v Speaker 2>not sleep and imagine that I'm going to be okay tomorrow.

0:50:50.280 --> 0:50:55.640
<v Speaker 2>And I find that that sleep is just like this gift,

0:50:56.600 --> 0:51:00.560
<v Speaker 2>and that the better sleep I have that with out question,

0:51:00.680 --> 0:51:04.520
<v Speaker 2>in every facet of my in every facet of my life,

0:51:04.520 --> 0:51:09.359
<v Speaker 2>I'm better. Yeah, Like I'm really thinking about you don't drink?

0:51:09.480 --> 0:51:10.120
<v Speaker 1>Right? No? No, no?

0:51:11.000 --> 0:51:13.160
<v Speaker 2>How went? How long have you not drunk?

0:51:14.360 --> 0:51:19.200
<v Speaker 1>I would say, how old? Am I like? Maybe eighteen

0:51:19.280 --> 0:51:21.160
<v Speaker 1>years or right?

0:51:21.239 --> 0:51:23.880
<v Speaker 2>But did you ever were you did? Right? Okay? Not?

0:51:24.360 --> 0:51:26.560
<v Speaker 1>I was never in a car by. I drank socially,

0:51:26.680 --> 0:51:29.840
<v Speaker 1>enjoyed it, had fun, love drinking games. I used to

0:51:29.880 --> 0:51:31.719
<v Speaker 1>hang out with the lads and like you.

0:51:31.800 --> 0:51:37.359
<v Speaker 2>About where I am so I really really I I'm

0:51:37.640 --> 0:51:40.040
<v Speaker 2>very ready drink at home. I never really get in

0:51:40.080 --> 0:51:41.359
<v Speaker 2>and go I'm going to have a glass of wine

0:51:41.400 --> 0:51:43.480
<v Speaker 2>or a gin and tonic. But if I go out, yes,

0:51:43.520 --> 0:51:46.600
<v Speaker 2>and if I'm out, I'm like, I love the feeling

0:51:46.640 --> 0:51:51.640
<v Speaker 2>of being three and a half drinks in between three

0:51:51.680 --> 0:51:54.839
<v Speaker 2>and six. I am. Look at Roger's face, he knows

0:51:54.880 --> 0:51:58.680
<v Speaker 2>what I'm talking about. I am. I'm feeling my knees

0:51:58.719 --> 0:52:01.640
<v Speaker 2>and I love it right, And now as I've got older,

0:52:02.840 --> 0:52:09.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm just really am really I'm going to really try

0:52:10.480 --> 0:52:14.799
<v Speaker 2>to just stop doing that. Like with no great declaration.

0:52:15.360 --> 0:52:18.239
<v Speaker 2>You know, you know, I am saying, I just am

0:52:18.280 --> 0:52:20.760
<v Speaker 2>really really going to try not to do that. Because

0:52:21.920 --> 0:52:25.520
<v Speaker 2>my friend, a good friend of mine, my friend jezz I,

0:52:25.560 --> 0:52:27.000
<v Speaker 2>spoke to him about it, and I was like, how

0:52:27.040 --> 0:52:29.720
<v Speaker 2>did you just manage to just did you just stop

0:52:29.760 --> 0:52:32.120
<v Speaker 2>doing this? And he said something to me, and I

0:52:32.160 --> 0:52:35.239
<v Speaker 2>think you'll really like this, he said. He said, I

0:52:35.320 --> 0:52:38.840
<v Speaker 2>started asking myself, and I do think this changes post

0:52:39.040 --> 0:52:43.240
<v Speaker 2>probably like thirty seven thirty eight. It starts to change

0:52:43.239 --> 0:52:46.719
<v Speaker 2>in your body. And he said, I started to ask myself,

0:52:47.160 --> 0:52:53.880
<v Speaker 2>how how much of tomorrow do I want to borrow?

0:52:54.520 --> 0:52:58.840
<v Speaker 2>All I'm doing now by drinking is borrowing from tomorrow.

0:52:58.920 --> 0:52:59.240
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:52:59.760 --> 0:53:02.480
<v Speaker 2>Right, It's like it's like you're going to a cash point.

0:53:03.520 --> 0:53:06.200
<v Speaker 2>You're going to a cash point and you're going, I'm

0:53:06.200 --> 0:53:10.520
<v Speaker 2>going to withdraw three hours from tomorrow that I will

0:53:10.560 --> 0:53:14.399
<v Speaker 2>be useless. And then probably if I just borrow three

0:53:14.400 --> 0:53:18.920
<v Speaker 2>hours around about noon or one, I'll start to feel okay.

0:53:19.440 --> 0:53:23.120
<v Speaker 2>So I'm borrowing from tomorrow and that and how many

0:53:23.120 --> 0:53:26.120
<v Speaker 2>hours do you want to borrow? And sometimes you borrow

0:53:26.160 --> 0:53:29.040
<v Speaker 2>a day and then the only way you think you

0:53:29.040 --> 0:53:31.160
<v Speaker 2>can rescue that day is to go, let's have another one,

0:53:31.560 --> 0:53:34.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, And I thought that was a really amazing

0:53:35.000 --> 0:53:39.440
<v Speaker 2>way of looking at it. And so my intention is

0:53:39.840 --> 0:53:43.040
<v Speaker 2>to really try and and not do that. I just

0:53:43.120 --> 0:53:48.799
<v Speaker 2>want to try, try and just be healthier. I don't

0:53:48.800 --> 0:53:52.520
<v Speaker 2>even sort of think about weight loss anymore. I've done

0:53:52.560 --> 0:53:56.040
<v Speaker 2>that so many times in my life, just made so

0:53:56.200 --> 0:53:59.080
<v Speaker 2>many like decisions just right, this is it. I'm not

0:53:59.120 --> 0:54:00.799
<v Speaker 2>going to go and what wy don't you change that

0:54:00.800 --> 0:54:03.759
<v Speaker 2>acts that isn't working. Why don't you just only try

0:54:03.800 --> 0:54:08.640
<v Speaker 2>and do what is healthy and see how that impacts

0:54:08.640 --> 0:54:10.000
<v Speaker 2>your frame?

0:54:10.280 --> 0:54:13.920
<v Speaker 1>Yes, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I like that approach.

0:54:13.920 --> 0:54:16.200
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you know, I think it's natural when when

0:54:16.239 --> 0:54:19.480
<v Speaker 1>we're recording this, it's like New Year's resolutions and start

0:54:19.480 --> 0:54:21.239
<v Speaker 1>of the year and all that kind of stuff. And

0:54:21.880 --> 0:54:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I think all of us know that about eighty percent

0:54:23.960 --> 0:54:27.320
<v Speaker 1>of us drop off by the end of January. By February,

0:54:27.320 --> 0:54:30.360
<v Speaker 1>we're not practicing this New Year's resolution, this massive commitment

0:54:30.400 --> 0:54:32.359
<v Speaker 1>we made. And it's almost because we go from this

0:54:32.440 --> 0:54:36.040
<v Speaker 1>huge extreme from being indulgent in December to trying to

0:54:36.080 --> 0:54:39.160
<v Speaker 1>be hyper intentional in January. Yeah, and trying to go

0:54:39.200 --> 0:54:40.640
<v Speaker 1>from one extreme to the other, and none of us

0:54:40.719 --> 0:54:42.239
<v Speaker 1>can hack that it doesn't work well.

0:54:42.239 --> 0:54:43.799
<v Speaker 2>A friend of mine said a really good thing to me.

0:54:44.680 --> 0:54:46.440
<v Speaker 2>My friend Simon said to me, he said, you need

0:54:46.480 --> 0:54:50.280
<v Speaker 2>to stop going on a diet because my weight has

0:54:50.560 --> 0:54:54.440
<v Speaker 2>gone up and down. You know I can I can

0:54:54.520 --> 0:55:00.040
<v Speaker 2>see it in too many videos on YouTube where I

0:55:00.160 --> 0:55:02.200
<v Speaker 2>was up, where I was down. I used to have

0:55:02.280 --> 0:55:06.160
<v Speaker 2>like three sets of suits. Lauren Shapiro, who was our

0:55:06.200 --> 0:55:09.160
<v Speaker 2>wardrobe designer on the show Who I Am Now saying,

0:55:09.280 --> 0:55:11.080
<v Speaker 2>as I said it out loud, I would have hated

0:55:11.120 --> 0:55:14.960
<v Speaker 2>hearing her name on your podcast, and my time with

0:55:15.080 --> 0:55:17.840
<v Speaker 2>her I used to just love so much because, like

0:55:17.880 --> 0:55:19.200
<v Speaker 2>I said, so much of the day would be a

0:55:19.200 --> 0:55:20.840
<v Speaker 2>lot of people, and then it would just be me

0:55:20.920 --> 0:55:24.680
<v Speaker 2>and her choosing suits and choosing what I'm going to wear,

0:55:25.080 --> 0:55:28.160
<v Speaker 2>and we'd chat about the day, and you know, we've

0:55:28.160 --> 0:55:32.800
<v Speaker 2>had moments where we cracking up laughing with other days

0:55:32.800 --> 0:55:34.520
<v Speaker 2>where one of us is really down, and it would

0:55:34.560 --> 0:55:37.600
<v Speaker 2>just be this little precious moment in this very small

0:55:38.840 --> 0:55:43.080
<v Speaker 2>walk in closet that was off my office where all

0:55:43.120 --> 0:55:45.080
<v Speaker 2>the suits were, and my time with those are the

0:55:45.120 --> 0:55:48.880
<v Speaker 2>things I really miss. That's the stuff I really really miss.

0:55:49.360 --> 0:55:53.239
<v Speaker 2>And she very very subtly, and we never talked about it.

0:55:54.080 --> 0:55:56.200
<v Speaker 2>We never ever talked about it, but I knew what

0:55:56.280 --> 0:55:59.600
<v Speaker 2>she did, and I was grateful. Was she basically started

0:55:59.680 --> 0:56:05.520
<v Speaker 2>organized in my suits into like really fat, fat and

0:56:05.600 --> 0:56:09.680
<v Speaker 2>always looking good. You could see and she would just

0:56:10.680 --> 0:56:13.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, but she would just very very in the

0:56:13.400 --> 0:56:16.080
<v Speaker 2>in the just and I would go. And then we

0:56:16.280 --> 0:56:19.279
<v Speaker 2>just became a thing where I'd be like, I think

0:56:19.280 --> 0:56:21.800
<v Speaker 2>we're you know, particularly if we came off a hiatus

0:56:21.880 --> 0:56:24.279
<v Speaker 2>or a go away and I think we're going to

0:56:24.320 --> 0:56:26.840
<v Speaker 2>be and she'd like, and we'd never really speak about

0:56:28.640 --> 0:56:31.040
<v Speaker 2>my friend. My friend said, my friend Simon said, you

0:56:31.040 --> 0:56:33.800
<v Speaker 2>need to stop going on a diet. So what do

0:56:33.840 --> 0:56:35.880
<v Speaker 2>you mean? Said You've got to stop. You've got to

0:56:35.960 --> 0:56:39.520
<v Speaker 2>stop going on a diet. He said, because going on

0:56:39.640 --> 0:56:42.960
<v Speaker 2>a diet is like going on a holiday. You are

0:56:43.000 --> 0:56:47.240
<v Speaker 2>going to return, You're going to come back. Wow, he said.

0:56:47.480 --> 0:56:50.680
<v Speaker 2>If you go on a diet, what you're saying is

0:56:50.760 --> 0:56:55.120
<v Speaker 2>this is short term. He said, you need to just

0:56:55.239 --> 0:56:59.080
<v Speaker 2>go this is how I live now, and this is it.

0:56:59.400 --> 0:57:03.520
<v Speaker 2>That's not going. I don't eat any bread. You know,

0:57:04.000 --> 0:57:07.960
<v Speaker 2>in moderation, it be probably good for you to eat

0:57:08.320 --> 0:57:12.120
<v Speaker 2>certain types of bread, but that's it, and you're going

0:57:12.160 --> 0:57:16.520
<v Speaker 2>to don't just stop this thing of being like, oh, guys,

0:57:16.560 --> 0:57:18.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm not I'm on a diet. Ye, And he was like,

0:57:18.120 --> 0:57:22.240
<v Speaker 2>and stop broadcasting saying it, Just stop saying it. Just

0:57:22.520 --> 0:57:24.240
<v Speaker 2>go this is what I'm going to do, and to

0:57:24.320 --> 0:57:26.360
<v Speaker 2>try and exercise like this. I'm going to try and

0:57:26.400 --> 0:57:28.520
<v Speaker 2>walk like I'm trying to do and just be like no, no,

0:57:28.560 --> 0:57:31.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna I'm going to eat this, And don't don't

0:57:31.840 --> 0:57:35.280
<v Speaker 2>be like, well I want to be down twenty pounds

0:57:35.280 --> 0:57:39.760
<v Speaker 2>in thirty five days, Like because you've done that and

0:57:39.800 --> 0:57:42.640
<v Speaker 2>you know how that plays out. Don't go on something

0:57:43.240 --> 0:57:45.160
<v Speaker 2>that's changed. Something that's good.

0:57:45.240 --> 0:57:47.200
<v Speaker 1>I like that. Yeah, on a diet, on a holiday,

0:57:47.240 --> 0:57:50.400
<v Speaker 1>that's good. That's strong. You've got some wise friends, James.

0:57:50.120 --> 0:57:50.360
<v Speaker 2>I do.

0:57:50.480 --> 0:57:52.240
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of good there's a lot of great

0:57:52.280 --> 0:57:54.160
<v Speaker 1>advice and these and these friends for like life for

0:57:54.240 --> 0:57:55.080
<v Speaker 1>these friends.

0:57:54.800 --> 0:57:58.760
<v Speaker 2>Recently time and I've known probably but yeah, probably about

0:57:58.840 --> 0:58:01.120
<v Speaker 2>nine nine years. And I have yeah, I have like

0:58:01.240 --> 0:58:04.000
<v Speaker 2>friends I've known for thirty five.

0:58:03.840 --> 0:58:06.000
<v Speaker 1>Years, you know what I mean, Like, what's it taking

0:58:06.000 --> 0:58:08.240
<v Speaker 1>to keep those? Because I find like I've been talking

0:58:08.280 --> 0:58:10.320
<v Speaker 1>to a lot of my male friends about this recently,

0:58:10.320 --> 0:58:13.440
<v Speaker 1>and this idea of you know, do we have Do

0:58:13.480 --> 0:58:15.240
<v Speaker 1>you have a friend that you could call in the

0:58:15.240 --> 0:58:17.920
<v Speaker 1>middle of the night and you know they would pick up,

0:58:18.160 --> 0:58:20.120
<v Speaker 1>they would turn up, they would be there, Because if

0:58:20.120 --> 0:58:22.520
<v Speaker 1>you have one of those friends, that's pretty rare and

0:58:22.520 --> 0:58:25.720
<v Speaker 1>pretty incredible. Especially as men, I find sometimes it's it's

0:58:25.760 --> 0:58:28.000
<v Speaker 1>almost harder to have those vulnerable relationships. But you seem

0:58:28.000 --> 0:58:31.320
<v Speaker 1>to be having a lot of open, vulnerable, healthy conversations

0:58:31.360 --> 0:58:32.960
<v Speaker 1>with men in your life.

0:58:33.000 --> 0:58:35.040
<v Speaker 2>But I think it's easier now. I think it's easier

0:58:35.040 --> 0:58:37.160
<v Speaker 2>now than it used to be. I think I hope

0:58:37.480 --> 0:58:42.560
<v Speaker 2>we're going to move into a generation of men, and

0:58:42.600 --> 0:58:45.480
<v Speaker 2>I think you and your show is responsible for that.

0:58:45.520 --> 0:58:48.440
<v Speaker 2>I think lots of I think just the ability to

0:58:50.240 --> 0:58:55.000
<v Speaker 2>just be like I'm struggling is a thing which I

0:58:55.000 --> 0:58:57.600
<v Speaker 2>think for a very long time men were conditioned to

0:58:58.440 --> 0:59:03.160
<v Speaker 2>that that was weak, and actually it's almost certainly the

0:59:03.200 --> 0:59:06.439
<v Speaker 2>bravest thing you can do. It is it is a

0:59:06.480 --> 0:59:13.480
<v Speaker 2>tremendous act of bravery to say I'm not doing too

0:59:13.520 --> 0:59:17.200
<v Speaker 2>great at than And as soon as those words leave

0:59:17.200 --> 0:59:21.840
<v Speaker 2>your mouth, I reckon twenty percent of those things have gone.

0:59:22.840 --> 0:59:25.840
<v Speaker 2>And I'm very I'm very, very fortunate. I just have

0:59:25.920 --> 0:59:28.400
<v Speaker 2>a lot of I love a lot of friends that

0:59:28.400 --> 0:59:31.480
<v Speaker 2>I've known for a very long time, and I and

0:59:31.520 --> 0:59:34.880
<v Speaker 2>I love them, and I tell them I love them

0:59:35.280 --> 0:59:44.160
<v Speaker 2>and I I and I enjoy the company of people

0:59:44.240 --> 0:59:49.080
<v Speaker 2>so much, you know, I just you know, it's interesting

0:59:49.120 --> 0:59:50.880
<v Speaker 2>you talk about who would call it like my friend

0:59:50.920 --> 0:59:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Louis that I was just telling you about who we

0:59:52.280 --> 0:59:57.400
<v Speaker 2>wrote that script together. Louis had a previous life where

0:59:57.560 --> 1:00:02.000
<v Speaker 2>he used to he would go out sometimes for three days.

1:00:02.440 --> 1:00:04.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't think he'd mind me saying this. He'd go

1:00:04.760 --> 1:00:09.840
<v Speaker 2>out for days on end. And I always always. And

1:00:09.840 --> 1:00:12.240
<v Speaker 2>then I said to Jules when we met, I said,

1:00:12.520 --> 1:00:15.480
<v Speaker 2>just so you know, I've got this friend Louis, and

1:00:15.560 --> 1:00:17.840
<v Speaker 2>he goes out for a long time, like you know

1:00:17.880 --> 1:00:22.040
<v Speaker 2>what London was like in those times, in these very streets. Yes,

1:00:22.240 --> 1:00:24.520
<v Speaker 2>And I said, if he calls me, I always, but

1:00:24.560 --> 1:00:28.440
<v Speaker 2>I have to pick up, always pick up, because I

1:00:28.480 --> 1:00:31.400
<v Speaker 2>always used to think he might be in trouble. This

1:00:31.520 --> 1:00:35.000
<v Speaker 2>resulted in some of the funniest things I've ever heard.

1:00:35.960 --> 1:00:41.360
<v Speaker 2>Him calling me at two, three, four, five in the

1:00:41.400 --> 1:00:48.120
<v Speaker 2>morning resulted in some of the funniest things I've ever heard.

1:00:48.560 --> 1:00:50.560
<v Speaker 2>And so that's why I say to anybody who doesn't

1:00:50.600 --> 1:00:52.080
<v Speaker 2>pick up the phone to a friend in the night.

1:00:52.440 --> 1:00:54.919
<v Speaker 2>It might not always be bad. It might be said.

1:00:55.160 --> 1:00:56.960
<v Speaker 2>He called me once, I think it's okay to tell

1:00:57.000 --> 1:01:00.200
<v Speaker 2>you this. He called me once and I was half

1:01:00.280 --> 1:01:05.840
<v Speaker 2>three in the morning, same man, okay, and he went,

1:01:06.720 --> 1:01:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm and he's drunk, and heone, I'm going to tell

1:01:09.000 --> 1:01:13.439
<v Speaker 2>you something now. And it's a fact. I went, what

1:01:13.520 --> 1:01:15.760
<v Speaker 2>he went, it's a fact. I went, sorry, you went.

1:01:16.160 --> 1:01:19.240
<v Speaker 2>What I am about to tell you is a fact.

1:01:19.920 --> 1:01:23.200
<v Speaker 2>It is a fact of life, and I would like

1:01:23.280 --> 1:01:27.160
<v Speaker 2>to share it with you. Okay, this quarter four And

1:01:27.440 --> 1:01:31.520
<v Speaker 2>he's like, it is a fact, James that I have

1:01:31.640 --> 1:01:37.360
<v Speaker 2>never and will never see the Jersey Boys goodbye and

1:01:37.480 --> 1:01:45.000
<v Speaker 2>hung up. And so yeah, I don't know. I don't

1:01:45.040 --> 1:01:48.080
<v Speaker 2>think for a friendship is I think it's something. It's

1:01:48.080 --> 1:01:52.920
<v Speaker 2>sort of everything, isn't. He like it's it's I cherish

1:01:52.960 --> 1:01:59.920
<v Speaker 2>it so much. I also think, you know, with kids,

1:02:00.840 --> 1:02:06.360
<v Speaker 2>it's really important for them to see you with friends, Yes,

1:02:06.760 --> 1:02:14.080
<v Speaker 2>to not separate those things, to be to involve your

1:02:14.120 --> 1:02:17.080
<v Speaker 2>friends with your children and your children with your friends.

1:02:17.120 --> 1:02:20.600
<v Speaker 2>Because I'm really aware that, Like my son's twelve, and

1:02:21.640 --> 1:02:28.760
<v Speaker 2>like he's right now, like we just get on great,

1:02:29.160 --> 1:02:33.080
<v Speaker 2>We get on so well, So we get on so

1:02:33.320 --> 1:02:37.919
<v Speaker 2>well's I love It's beautiful, and I'm so aware that

1:02:37.920 --> 1:02:44.400
<v Speaker 2>that is about to change, because that is just nature.

1:02:44.800 --> 1:02:48.440
<v Speaker 2>You know. I took about a year ago, before we

1:02:48.480 --> 1:02:56.400
<v Speaker 2>moved before we move back, I took my son. I

1:02:56.400 --> 1:02:59.880
<v Speaker 2>can't even remember what happened. He was kind of strappy

1:03:00.240 --> 1:03:05.320
<v Speaker 2>and you know, stomped upstairs. He's really not that kind

1:03:05.360 --> 1:03:09.520
<v Speaker 2>of boy, but he did. And I went upstairs and

1:03:09.560 --> 1:03:13.600
<v Speaker 2>I sat in his room and I just went to him.

1:03:14.040 --> 1:03:18.680
<v Speaker 2>I said, can I ask you some questions? And he

1:03:18.760 --> 1:03:22.800
<v Speaker 2>was quite taken aback because because he thought I was

1:03:22.840 --> 1:03:24.680
<v Speaker 2>going to go what was that about? And can I

1:03:24.680 --> 1:03:29.000
<v Speaker 2>ask you some questions? And he went yeah. I said,

1:03:29.000 --> 1:03:31.600
<v Speaker 2>do you think I love you? And he went yeah.

1:03:32.800 --> 1:03:35.160
<v Speaker 2>I said, do you think I would ever do anything

1:03:35.600 --> 1:03:40.520
<v Speaker 2>to intentionally hurt or upset you? He said no. I said,

1:03:40.520 --> 1:03:42.520
<v Speaker 2>and do you think in the eleven years that you've

1:03:42.560 --> 1:03:47.840
<v Speaker 2>been on Earth, do you think I've changed dramatically? He

1:03:47.880 --> 1:03:50.920
<v Speaker 2>went no. I went, well done, he scored one hundred percent.

1:03:51.440 --> 1:03:54.040
<v Speaker 2>They are all the right answers, I said, And I'm

1:03:54.120 --> 1:04:01.840
<v Speaker 2>telling you this because over the next few years, there

1:04:01.880 --> 1:04:03.600
<v Speaker 2>are going to be points you are going to think

1:04:03.680 --> 1:04:06.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't love you. You are going to think I

1:04:06.560 --> 1:04:11.160
<v Speaker 2>am intentionally trying to hurt or upset you, and you're

1:04:11.200 --> 1:04:14.920
<v Speaker 2>going to think that I've changed. And I need you

1:04:15.000 --> 1:04:19.440
<v Speaker 2>to remember this, that I haven't changed. We haven't changed.

1:04:20.320 --> 1:04:23.880
<v Speaker 2>You've changed, and you need to and you have to,

1:04:24.440 --> 1:04:27.960
<v Speaker 2>and you are going to go through immeasurable changes in

1:04:28.000 --> 1:04:32.200
<v Speaker 2>your life and body and all we are trying to

1:04:32.240 --> 1:04:36.520
<v Speaker 2>do me, your mum, your sisters, and it's going to

1:04:36.600 --> 1:04:40.200
<v Speaker 2>happen to them too. Are just trying to help you

1:04:40.280 --> 1:04:43.880
<v Speaker 2>navigate these bumps that are going to come your way

1:04:44.400 --> 1:04:47.880
<v Speaker 2>and these changes both mental and physical that are happening

1:04:47.880 --> 1:04:51.600
<v Speaker 2>for you. But I need you to know that I

1:04:51.760 --> 1:04:55.680
<v Speaker 2>haven't changed. I'm never trying to intentionally hurt or upset you.

1:04:56.080 --> 1:04:58.840
<v Speaker 2>And I love you. I love you more than you'll

1:04:58.840 --> 1:05:06.320
<v Speaker 2>ever know. And he went, I think we should have

1:05:06.320 --> 1:05:08.200
<v Speaker 2>some sort of code word so I remember this, And

1:05:08.240 --> 1:05:11.240
<v Speaker 2>so we came up with some silly code word that

1:05:11.280 --> 1:05:13.120
<v Speaker 2>I would just say to him, like do you remember,

1:05:13.600 --> 1:05:15.800
<v Speaker 2>and he'd like and he'd be like, oh, yeah, you

1:05:15.880 --> 1:05:18.840
<v Speaker 2>haven't changed. I was like, my hair hasn't changed, dude.

1:05:19.000 --> 1:05:21.560
<v Speaker 2>I got the same hairstyle that I had when I

1:05:21.600 --> 1:05:27.240
<v Speaker 2>was eighteen years old, you know, and that was and

1:05:27.560 --> 1:05:31.160
<v Speaker 2>I refeel that with friendship that they I'm so painfully,

1:05:31.360 --> 1:05:34.400
<v Speaker 2>painfully aware that there's going to come a point where

1:05:34.520 --> 1:05:38.480
<v Speaker 2>the influences that aren't me are going to become bigger

1:05:38.520 --> 1:05:41.080
<v Speaker 2>on my children for a moment. And so if I

1:05:41.160 --> 1:05:43.880
<v Speaker 2>can make sure that those other people that they look

1:05:44.000 --> 1:05:48.680
<v Speaker 2>to are people who are aligned with how I feel,

1:05:49.240 --> 1:05:51.880
<v Speaker 2>then it's going to be great, you know.

1:05:52.080 --> 1:05:54.760
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes they're going to take advice from dad's friend

1:05:54.840 --> 1:05:56.600
<v Speaker 1>more than they are from Dad, if.

1:05:56.520 --> 1:05:58.720
<v Speaker 2>They are going to seek it. Yeah, they're going to

1:05:58.760 --> 1:06:03.360
<v Speaker 2>absolutely seek those other role models, Yes, particularly boys. I

1:06:03.360 --> 1:06:05.800
<v Speaker 2>think that's right. Is that right? I think that's right. Yeah, yeah,

1:06:05.880 --> 1:06:07.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if that's completely right, but I do

1:06:07.320 --> 1:06:10.160
<v Speaker 2>think that there is a perhaps more of a thing

1:06:10.240 --> 1:06:14.080
<v Speaker 2>between boys and dads, and you know, it's it's such

1:06:14.080 --> 1:06:16.680
<v Speaker 2>a strange thing that it's so you.

1:06:16.640 --> 1:06:20.080
<v Speaker 1>Know, yeah, I remember, so you would have know this

1:06:20.080 --> 1:06:22.400
<v Speaker 1>because we didn't know each other then, but became friendly

1:06:22.440 --> 1:06:25.680
<v Speaker 1>with James Longman on your team years ago and so

1:06:25.840 --> 1:06:28.479
<v Speaker 1>long as it invited me to come and watch the show.

1:06:28.560 --> 1:06:30.360
<v Speaker 1>This is when I first moved to la when I

1:06:30.400 --> 1:06:32.760
<v Speaker 1>first moved there, So this is like five years ago,

1:06:33.320 --> 1:06:35.240
<v Speaker 1>and yeah, and I got to come and he was

1:06:35.280 --> 1:06:37.880
<v Speaker 1>he was He's wonderful, obviously great and so he showed

1:06:37.880 --> 1:06:39.600
<v Speaker 1>me around. I got to see all the rooms and

1:06:39.680 --> 1:06:41.520
<v Speaker 1>like you know that, the green rooms and every like.

1:06:41.560 --> 1:06:41.760
<v Speaker 2>He was.

1:06:41.800 --> 1:06:44.320
<v Speaker 1>He just gave me the best tour ever. Took me

1:06:44.360 --> 1:06:46.120
<v Speaker 1>to the photo wall. I got to put up a

1:06:46.120 --> 1:06:48.000
<v Speaker 1>fake photo of myself on the wall as if we've

1:06:48.000 --> 1:06:49.920
<v Speaker 1>been on the show, you know, all all of it

1:06:49.960 --> 1:06:51.840
<v Speaker 1>was really sweet. And we didn't know each other at

1:06:51.840 --> 1:06:54.320
<v Speaker 1>all then, of course, and I didn't know anyone else

1:06:54.360 --> 1:06:56.120
<v Speaker 1>apart from him, and I was just really excited to

1:06:56.160 --> 1:06:57.280
<v Speaker 1>be there because I was such a fan of the

1:06:57.280 --> 1:06:59.720
<v Speaker 1>show and I remember you were. You were so wonderful,

1:06:59.720 --> 1:07:01.920
<v Speaker 1>even if between the show where you're in between segments

1:07:02.000 --> 1:07:03.600
<v Speaker 1>like it's not live, and you would come and chat

1:07:03.600 --> 1:07:05.520
<v Speaker 1>to the audience. You'd shake people's hands, and then I

1:07:05.560 --> 1:07:08.680
<v Speaker 1>remember you'd go and call your kids and you'd literally

1:07:08.720 --> 1:07:10.720
<v Speaker 1>sit at the desk before in between and just like

1:07:10.760 --> 1:07:12.640
<v Speaker 1>get that because and you tell us you'd be like, guys,

1:07:12.680 --> 1:07:14.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna call my family because I'm gonna say

1:07:14.160 --> 1:07:16.680
<v Speaker 1>good night to my kids. And it was such a

1:07:16.800 --> 1:07:19.400
<v Speaker 1>like it was so amazing to see someone who's in

1:07:19.440 --> 1:07:23.160
<v Speaker 1>the middle of everything you described so phenomenally earlier. But

1:07:23.200 --> 1:07:25.080
<v Speaker 1>then be like, I just want to say good night

1:07:25.080 --> 1:07:27.360
<v Speaker 1>to my kids because it's that late, right, however late

1:07:27.360 --> 1:07:28.760
<v Speaker 1>it was at that time. I think kids were going

1:07:28.800 --> 1:07:31.360
<v Speaker 1>back to bed at seven or seven or whatever may

1:07:31.360 --> 1:07:33.480
<v Speaker 1>have been, and I remember you facetiming them and then

1:07:33.480 --> 1:07:36.880
<v Speaker 1>we got to wave it, and I just remember how

1:07:36.880 --> 1:07:39.000
<v Speaker 1>special that was. And I just think, you know, I've

1:07:39.040 --> 1:07:41.479
<v Speaker 1>heard you say before that you know, for so many

1:07:41.560 --> 1:07:44.600
<v Speaker 1>years your your family was marching to the beat of

1:07:44.640 --> 1:07:46.880
<v Speaker 1>your drum like they were. They were therefore, they were

1:07:46.920 --> 1:07:48.840
<v Speaker 1>just holding it together for you so that you could

1:07:49.320 --> 1:07:52.000
<v Speaker 1>build and create. And I just think about moments like

1:07:52.040 --> 1:07:53.080
<v Speaker 1>that that you were having with.

1:07:53.000 --> 1:07:55.360
<v Speaker 2>Them and media. I'm so worried that the show you

1:07:55.400 --> 1:07:58.880
<v Speaker 2>came to is terrible. That's all I can think.

1:07:58.840 --> 1:08:02.120
<v Speaker 1>Is good Ruffalo. It is great. It's great, it's great.

1:08:02.480 --> 1:08:06.640
<v Speaker 2>But like, that's that's really what really resulted in us

1:08:07.120 --> 1:08:14.360
<v Speaker 2>moving back, is the truth is, you know, like my

1:08:14.880 --> 1:08:18.799
<v Speaker 2>wife just walks to the beat of my drum, my family.

1:08:18.920 --> 1:08:21.200
<v Speaker 2>You know, we're going to New York, We're going to

1:08:21.360 --> 1:08:25.519
<v Speaker 2>LA I'm going here, I'm going there. Babe, I'm going

1:08:25.560 --> 1:08:28.880
<v Speaker 2>to do this thing in Australia. You're you're good here

1:08:28.920 --> 1:08:31.439
<v Speaker 2>with the kit, do you know what I mean? Like, honestly,

1:08:31.560 --> 1:08:34.240
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely feel I get the feeling that you might

1:08:34.280 --> 1:08:38.760
<v Speaker 2>be like this. I feel like I could live anywhere anywhere.

1:08:38.880 --> 1:08:41.760
<v Speaker 2>I could live anywhere, because we're very fortunate that you're

1:08:41.760 --> 1:08:43.400
<v Speaker 2>here now in London. You're going to go back, You're

1:08:43.400 --> 1:08:44.880
<v Speaker 2>going to go to India, you're gonna go to New York,

1:08:44.880 --> 1:08:49.679
<v Speaker 2>You're to LA Like, what a privilege. I'm so aware

1:08:49.760 --> 1:08:54.240
<v Speaker 2>that that hasn't been my wife's life for the last

1:08:54.479 --> 1:08:59.479
<v Speaker 2>twelve years, thirteen fourteen years, you know, And so really

1:08:59.479 --> 1:09:03.280
<v Speaker 2>our our decision to move back was like I was

1:09:03.400 --> 1:09:07.439
<v Speaker 2>going to stop the show regardless. You know, there was

1:09:07.320 --> 1:09:08.640
<v Speaker 2>a there was a moment where I was going to

1:09:08.640 --> 1:09:12.880
<v Speaker 2>stop it a bit earlier, and then it was done

1:09:12.920 --> 1:09:15.920
<v Speaker 2>so beautifully. My leaving of the show, like me and

1:09:16.000 --> 1:09:22.799
<v Speaker 2>my boss George just sat in my office and literally

1:09:22.840 --> 1:09:26.759
<v Speaker 2>talked it out like this, no agents, no lawyers, no nothing,

1:09:26.960 --> 1:09:29.200
<v Speaker 2>Like I said, I'd like to leave it this date.

1:09:29.640 --> 1:09:33.240
<v Speaker 2>He said, is it any way I can get you

1:09:33.280 --> 1:09:34.920
<v Speaker 2>to stay to this day? It's like I can't stay

1:09:34.960 --> 1:09:37.599
<v Speaker 2>to that date because we've got to resettle, the kids

1:09:37.680 --> 1:09:39.960
<v Speaker 2>have got like they have to start school in September,

1:09:40.600 --> 1:09:42.960
<v Speaker 2>you know. And then at one point it was going

1:09:43.040 --> 1:09:44.840
<v Speaker 2>to be May, and then there was like I think

1:09:44.840 --> 1:09:47.559
<v Speaker 2>there's golf and masters and all this, and we literally

1:09:47.680 --> 1:09:50.920
<v Speaker 2>just were like, okay, we'll end it then and that

1:09:51.000 --> 1:09:55.000
<v Speaker 2>will give us the right gap. And all of that

1:09:55.040 --> 1:09:58.760
<v Speaker 2>came from me just saying to Jeles like, I'll live

1:09:58.880 --> 1:10:04.200
<v Speaker 2>anywhere where, where, Where do you want to be? Where

1:10:04.200 --> 1:10:07.719
<v Speaker 2>do you think it's best for us to be, because

1:10:08.120 --> 1:10:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I know she would never make a decision that isn't

1:10:11.080 --> 1:10:18.960
<v Speaker 2>best for the kids, forget me, and she was just like,

1:10:19.000 --> 1:10:21.719
<v Speaker 2>I think it's time to go home. I was like, Okay,

1:10:22.000 --> 1:10:28.360
<v Speaker 2>that's it, and I'm so I'm so grateful that we

1:10:28.520 --> 1:10:33.360
<v Speaker 2>that we did. Just in my family before Christmas, we

1:10:33.400 --> 1:10:37.040
<v Speaker 2>had a My mum sings in a choir. It's not

1:10:37.080 --> 1:10:40.519
<v Speaker 2>a church choir, it's just a choir with some of

1:10:40.520 --> 1:10:44.160
<v Speaker 2>her friends and we all went out to high Wickham

1:10:44.479 --> 1:10:51.200
<v Speaker 2>to watch her sing in this choir. I sat in

1:10:51.200 --> 1:10:58.040
<v Speaker 2>this room in a in john Hamden sports hall or there,

1:10:58.960 --> 1:11:01.680
<v Speaker 2>you know theater, just a a school hall that we

1:11:01.680 --> 1:11:07.080
<v Speaker 2>were in. I cried my eyes out. I cried. I

1:11:07.120 --> 1:11:11.040
<v Speaker 2>couldn't stop crying because I'm my mum. I was in

1:11:11.040 --> 1:11:18.559
<v Speaker 2>this choir with like forty other people singing Christmas songs,

1:11:19.640 --> 1:11:23.320
<v Speaker 2>and it was so pure. It was so pure, it

1:11:23.400 --> 1:11:27.680
<v Speaker 2>was so the antithesis of what our life of being

1:11:27.720 --> 1:11:31.719
<v Speaker 2>in Los Angeles. And my mum was in the corner

1:11:31.800 --> 1:11:34.679
<v Speaker 2>of this glad, you know, and I just she couldn't

1:11:34.720 --> 1:11:37.640
<v Speaker 2>stop smiling. And I just thought, Oh my god, this

1:11:37.920 --> 1:11:41.760
<v Speaker 2>purity that's here. These are a group of women and

1:11:41.840 --> 1:11:46.480
<v Speaker 2>men in there. I guess they range between thirty to

1:11:46.520 --> 1:11:49.559
<v Speaker 2>sixty people, and I just was like, this is everything.

1:11:49.960 --> 1:11:52.559
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be anywhere else. This is I

1:11:52.680 --> 1:11:55.639
<v Speaker 2>only want to be here. And it was so weird.

1:11:55.960 --> 1:11:58.519
<v Speaker 2>It's so weird the effect it has on me even

1:11:58.600 --> 1:12:01.160
<v Speaker 2>now saying I can't understan and it. I can't tell

1:12:01.200 --> 1:12:07.479
<v Speaker 2>you why. I think it just felt in that minute like, Oh,

1:12:07.560 --> 1:12:10.280
<v Speaker 2>this is the sacrip, this is why we made what

1:12:10.400 --> 1:12:13.400
<v Speaker 2>you would perceive to be a great sacrifice. Yes, this

1:12:13.520 --> 1:12:17.559
<v Speaker 2>is the reason something here that I would never see,

1:12:17.880 --> 1:12:20.320
<v Speaker 2>I would never come back for, I would never be

1:12:20.400 --> 1:12:22.640
<v Speaker 2>part of. And then my dad joined them with a

1:12:22.720 --> 1:12:27.720
<v Speaker 2>few numbers playing the saxophone and I just I just

1:12:27.880 --> 1:12:31.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh my god, this is worth everything. This

1:12:31.120 --> 1:12:35.479
<v Speaker 2>is this is this is everything I need to feed

1:12:35.600 --> 1:12:39.719
<v Speaker 2>me and my kids watching their grandma sing this song,

1:12:40.680 --> 1:12:43.479
<v Speaker 2>I was like, how lucky are we to appreciate and

1:12:43.600 --> 1:12:48.240
<v Speaker 2>have this experience? Yeah, to have come back and everyone

1:12:48.320 --> 1:12:49.680
<v Speaker 2>be healthy? You know?

1:12:50.040 --> 1:12:53.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, for sure? What does it take in that in

1:12:53.840 --> 1:12:56.559
<v Speaker 1>the marriage, for that communication, for that even the fact

1:12:56.560 --> 1:12:58.760
<v Speaker 1>that you know you're both asking each other questions, you're

1:12:58.800 --> 1:13:01.639
<v Speaker 1>both checking in with each other, Like, that's not easy,

1:13:01.680 --> 1:13:05.000
<v Speaker 1>it's challenging. Yeah, Like what is that? What has that taken,

1:13:05.120 --> 1:13:08.840
<v Speaker 1>like from both of you to really be able to

1:13:08.880 --> 1:13:10.360
<v Speaker 1>make those big decisions together.

1:13:11.160 --> 1:13:20.120
<v Speaker 2>It's taken me learning from my wife. That's it. That's it.

1:13:21.080 --> 1:13:26.839
<v Speaker 2>Like she, I think has always known and always figured

1:13:26.840 --> 1:13:29.960
<v Speaker 2>out how to communicate how to do this, And I

1:13:29.960 --> 1:13:32.280
<v Speaker 2>think I've been terrible at it. I think I've been

1:13:32.360 --> 1:13:35.519
<v Speaker 2>rubbish at it because I think I lived for a

1:13:35.600 --> 1:13:41.479
<v Speaker 2>very long time an existence of just I nothing will

1:13:41.920 --> 1:13:44.840
<v Speaker 2>move me from this train. I'm on this is it.

1:13:45.240 --> 1:13:48.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh you're hopping on great, but this is this is

1:13:48.200 --> 1:13:51.679
<v Speaker 2>it's this is the thing. And actually you then realize

1:13:51.720 --> 1:13:55.479
<v Speaker 2>that that isn't the case. I mean we don't argue

1:13:55.560 --> 1:14:00.880
<v Speaker 2>very much. We really really try to talk in the

1:14:01.080 --> 1:14:06.599
<v Speaker 2>day right to not make it the last thing we do,

1:14:07.880 --> 1:14:11.720
<v Speaker 2>even if you are going to bed with like and

1:14:11.760 --> 1:14:15.679
<v Speaker 2>it's more her than me, and she's like, well, I'm

1:14:15.680 --> 1:14:19.920
<v Speaker 2>going to talk to you about that tomorrow, you know

1:14:19.920 --> 1:14:23.719
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. But it's so much better than going

1:14:23.760 --> 1:14:27.599
<v Speaker 2>to bed, going to sleep. Just don't go to sleep

1:14:27.600 --> 1:14:31.000
<v Speaker 2>on an argument. That's the first thing. And I think

1:14:31.040 --> 1:14:40.799
<v Speaker 2>I learned quite probably halfway through our marriage that that actually,

1:14:42.720 --> 1:14:44.680
<v Speaker 2>if all you're doing and this is this is an

1:14:44.720 --> 1:14:47.559
<v Speaker 2>almost impossible thing to do. But if you're but if

1:14:47.560 --> 1:14:51.760
<v Speaker 2>you're at least trying to, you're pretty much there is

1:14:51.800 --> 1:14:54.920
<v Speaker 2>if you're going well, if if all you're trying to

1:14:54.960 --> 1:14:58.640
<v Speaker 2>do is meet your partner's needs, then all yours in

1:14:58.680 --> 1:15:01.679
<v Speaker 2>turn will be met. They just will like how many

1:15:01.720 --> 1:15:04.639
<v Speaker 2>times do we hear it's funny we had a friend

1:15:04.640 --> 1:15:06.800
<v Speaker 2>of ours or a friend of my wife's. They're friends

1:15:06.800 --> 1:15:09.479
<v Speaker 2>of ours. You know, if we ever broke up, she'd

1:15:09.520 --> 1:15:15.120
<v Speaker 2>get her. Now you've got me thinking about friend, Oh,

1:15:15.520 --> 1:15:18.439
<v Speaker 2>divide it up a fun game and going to take

1:15:18.479 --> 1:15:22.800
<v Speaker 2>what's quite a fun game. And she was saying, this

1:15:22.840 --> 1:15:24.559
<v Speaker 2>is a few years ago now, She was like, he

1:15:24.640 --> 1:15:27.280
<v Speaker 2>just never does anything for me. I never. He never

1:15:27.320 --> 1:15:30.519
<v Speaker 2>surprises me and takes me out for dinner. He never

1:15:30.680 --> 1:15:34.000
<v Speaker 2>says ah like, oh I'm good, you know, buy the

1:15:34.000 --> 1:15:36.920
<v Speaker 2>theater ticket. He never says, oh, Friday night, me and you,

1:15:37.240 --> 1:15:39.880
<v Speaker 2>let's do this. And I just went, well, when do

1:15:39.960 --> 1:15:43.680
<v Speaker 2>you do it? How often do you do that? She went,

1:15:43.760 --> 1:15:48.000
<v Speaker 2>what I don't. And I was like, right, well, you

1:15:48.160 --> 1:15:51.080
<v Speaker 2>have to see that that might be a that that

1:15:51.200 --> 1:15:53.360
<v Speaker 2>might be a thing. For all we know. He sat

1:15:53.439 --> 1:15:57.120
<v Speaker 2>somewhere now going she never takes me out? She never,

1:15:57.160 --> 1:16:00.200
<v Speaker 2>because let's go the cinema. And she was like, and

1:16:01.280 --> 1:16:04.960
<v Speaker 2>that's it in its most base level. I think that's

1:16:05.120 --> 1:16:06.800
<v Speaker 2>probably the thing I've learned the most.

1:16:06.920 --> 1:16:09.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love hearing about your relationships and the way

1:16:09.160 --> 1:16:11.920
<v Speaker 1>you talk about your relationships. Obviously, this whole shift in

1:16:11.960 --> 1:16:15.799
<v Speaker 1>your life is because of your relationships, and so it's

1:16:15.840 --> 1:16:17.639
<v Speaker 1>so wonderful to hear about it. And you were giving

1:16:17.640 --> 1:16:22.720
<v Speaker 1>me credit earlier for you know, hopefully changing conversations around masculinity.

1:16:22.720 --> 1:16:24.519
<v Speaker 1>But I think you did that very much so as

1:16:24.520 --> 1:16:29.240
<v Speaker 1>well with your bromance comic relief videos with David Beckham,

1:16:29.520 --> 1:16:31.720
<v Speaker 1>and I'd always appreciate those when they came out. I know,

1:16:31.760 --> 1:16:34.200
<v Speaker 1>you guys have a real romance, but seeing it on

1:16:34.360 --> 1:16:37.320
<v Speaker 1>screen was always a real treat. Whether you're doing the

1:16:37.320 --> 1:16:40.400
<v Speaker 1>Calvin kleinads together or whether you know or doing each

1:16:40.439 --> 1:16:42.920
<v Speaker 1>other's nails or whatever it was, it was. It was

1:16:42.960 --> 1:16:46.800
<v Speaker 1>so funny. And you went to the premiere recently of

1:16:46.800 --> 1:16:50.160
<v Speaker 1>his documentary, which I thought was just, yeah, brilliant, phenomenal.

1:16:50.160 --> 1:16:53.880
<v Speaker 1>I read Bex's biography when autobiography when I was like

1:16:54.160 --> 1:16:57.000
<v Speaker 1>fifteen or something, and it was life changing. I loved it,

1:16:57.479 --> 1:17:01.160
<v Speaker 1>and getting to what's the doc was obviously reliving it again.

1:17:01.800 --> 1:17:02.759
<v Speaker 2>I mean, what a story?

1:17:02.880 --> 1:17:03.559
<v Speaker 1>What a story?

1:17:03.680 --> 1:17:07.280
<v Speaker 2>Right? This is the whole thing. When I watched it,

1:17:07.280 --> 1:17:11.320
<v Speaker 2>it really really reminded me. Have you ever watched Aaron

1:17:11.400 --> 1:17:16.360
<v Speaker 2>Sorkin's commencement speech at Syracuse University? I have not known,

1:17:16.560 --> 1:17:18.920
<v Speaker 2>so actually me saying, you know, when I get my

1:17:19.000 --> 1:17:21.360
<v Speaker 2>driver's license, my life will be like this. He actually

1:17:21.360 --> 1:17:24.320
<v Speaker 2>says that in that speech. He talks about that, and

1:17:24.640 --> 1:17:28.400
<v Speaker 2>I think, and that was the first time I realized that, like, oh,

1:17:28.800 --> 1:17:31.800
<v Speaker 2>that's what I have always done. His commencement speech at

1:17:31.840 --> 1:17:35.439
<v Speaker 2>Syracuse University is brilliant as you can imagine. It's just

1:17:35.479 --> 1:17:41.160
<v Speaker 2>so brilliantly written and he delivers it. It's exceptional. It's

1:17:41.160 --> 1:17:45.200
<v Speaker 2>my favorite thing to watch on YouTube is people's commencement addresses,

1:17:45.520 --> 1:17:48.560
<v Speaker 2>and his is particularly good. And I would urge anybody

1:17:48.640 --> 1:17:50.880
<v Speaker 2>to go and to go and look at it. I

1:17:51.280 --> 1:17:54.720
<v Speaker 2>use it, I quote it. It's fed into me, you know.

1:17:55.360 --> 1:17:59.519
<v Speaker 2>And he says a brilliant line and it really came

1:18:00.920 --> 1:18:03.840
<v Speaker 2>to the forefront of my mind watching the Beckham documentary

1:18:03.840 --> 1:18:07.040
<v Speaker 2>where he says, the world doesn't care how many times

1:18:07.080 --> 1:18:10.000
<v Speaker 2>you get knocked down, so long as it's one less

1:18:10.000 --> 1:18:12.000
<v Speaker 2>than the amount of times you get back up again.

1:18:12.840 --> 1:18:15.760
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I think the Beckham Dock is. It

1:18:15.840 --> 1:18:21.160
<v Speaker 2>is a story of a man who just doesn't stop.

1:18:21.240 --> 1:18:25.559
<v Speaker 2>He just gets back up and he carries on. And

1:18:26.080 --> 1:18:30.080
<v Speaker 2>that's what it's about. You could say it's about the

1:18:30.120 --> 1:18:36.320
<v Speaker 2>first sportsman to become a global brand and icon. You

1:18:36.360 --> 1:18:42.719
<v Speaker 2>could talk about it's the first family to have become,

1:18:43.760 --> 1:18:47.439
<v Speaker 2>perhaps in Britain outside of the Royal family, a family

1:18:47.479 --> 1:18:49.799
<v Speaker 2>of intrigue and interest. You could say it's a story

1:18:49.840 --> 1:18:52.800
<v Speaker 2>about fame and sport. It's not. I think it's a

1:18:52.840 --> 1:19:01.240
<v Speaker 2>story of someone who just kept going through adversity, through challenges,

1:19:01.800 --> 1:19:04.640
<v Speaker 2>just got up and carried on. And that's why I

1:19:04.640 --> 1:19:07.639
<v Speaker 2>think it's resonated so much with people, because it's interesting.

1:19:07.920 --> 1:19:09.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you found this, but like it's

1:19:09.360 --> 1:19:12.880
<v Speaker 2>interesting being British and watching it. Yes, yes, then because

1:19:12.960 --> 1:19:14.080
<v Speaker 2>because people in America are.

1:19:14.040 --> 1:19:15.800
<v Speaker 1>Like, I had no no idea.

1:19:16.120 --> 1:19:22.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, those football those soccer fans, the way

1:19:22.240 --> 1:19:24.800
<v Speaker 2>they were with him, and you're like, yeah, no, I know,

1:19:25.840 --> 1:19:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I remember the yeah, yeah, you know. And then and

1:19:31.280 --> 1:19:35.240
<v Speaker 2>then Greece and that like that's where sport tho can

1:19:35.320 --> 1:19:39.240
<v Speaker 2>transcend everything. It's like, it's it's why I think sport

1:19:39.280 --> 1:19:45.559
<v Speaker 2>and music. I think sports stars and musicians are I

1:19:45.640 --> 1:19:50.320
<v Speaker 2>think their fame is so different to actors and performers

1:19:50.360 --> 1:19:52.600
<v Speaker 2>and hosts and writers, and I think their fame is

1:19:52.680 --> 1:19:56.880
<v Speaker 2>something different because they give you moments. They give you

1:19:57.080 --> 1:20:03.200
<v Speaker 2>moments in the and really what I put those moments

1:20:03.240 --> 1:20:08.439
<v Speaker 2>down to is they made you feel less alone. That's

1:20:08.560 --> 1:20:12.160
<v Speaker 2>actually what it is. It's why our relationship with singers

1:20:13.040 --> 1:20:17.920
<v Speaker 2>and art and recording artists is so personal. Because I

1:20:18.000 --> 1:20:19.760
<v Speaker 2>was in this play called The History Boys and it's

1:20:19.800 --> 1:20:23.000
<v Speaker 2>written by Alan Bennett, and there was a speech that

1:20:23.120 --> 1:20:25.800
<v Speaker 2>Richard Griffiths used to deliver every night, and he'd say

1:20:27.120 --> 1:20:30.360
<v Speaker 2>the best moments in poetry are when you think a

1:20:30.600 --> 1:20:34.639
<v Speaker 2>thought or a feeling is particular to you, and then

1:20:34.680 --> 1:20:40.240
<v Speaker 2>suddenly someone who is long dead you will never meet. Now,

1:20:40.560 --> 1:20:43.000
<v Speaker 2>someone who you will never meet, perhaps even long dead,

1:20:44.120 --> 1:20:47.360
<v Speaker 2>has written down the very thing you're feeling. And it's

1:20:47.400 --> 1:20:51.320
<v Speaker 2>like a hand has reached out and taken yours and

1:20:51.360 --> 1:20:55.000
<v Speaker 2>it says to you, you're not on your own. You're

1:20:55.080 --> 1:20:56.960
<v Speaker 2>not on your own. That's a great bit in a

1:20:57.000 --> 1:20:59.840
<v Speaker 2>John Lennon documentary where there's a guy saying to you

1:21:00.040 --> 1:21:04.920
<v Speaker 2>on Lennon, that song you wrote, but you know that

1:21:04.920 --> 1:21:08.640
<v Speaker 2>that was about me. It's about me, thats how I am.

1:21:08.640 --> 1:21:11.759
<v Speaker 2>And John Lennon's going, they're just songs. They're just songs.

1:21:11.760 --> 1:21:13.760
<v Speaker 2>It isn't that And he's going, nobody is you wrote

1:21:13.800 --> 1:21:16.799
<v Speaker 2>that about me? Because you can't know how I felt,

1:21:17.000 --> 1:21:19.559
<v Speaker 2>And so I think you don't. Suddenly you feel very alone.

1:21:19.920 --> 1:21:22.320
<v Speaker 2>You hear something and you realize you're not. And then

1:21:22.360 --> 1:21:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I think sport when David Beckham curlled that free kick

1:21:27.000 --> 1:21:28.840
<v Speaker 2>in the top corner, which when we qualified for the

1:21:28.880 --> 1:21:37.080
<v Speaker 2>World Cup, it did not matter Tory, conservative, Republican, Democrat,

1:21:37.479 --> 1:21:43.920
<v Speaker 2>left right, all the stuff the divisions everything suddenly yeah,

1:21:43.960 --> 1:21:46.840
<v Speaker 2>and you're hugging people you don't know, you've never met,

1:21:46.840 --> 1:21:49.879
<v Speaker 2>and you're you're brought together and you're not alone anymore.

1:21:50.120 --> 1:21:53.200
<v Speaker 2>And that's where I think sport and music is such

1:21:53.240 --> 1:21:57.960
<v Speaker 2>a powerful thing in our lives, which you don't feel

1:21:57.960 --> 1:21:59.719
<v Speaker 2>when you watch a film. You can watch a film

1:21:59.840 --> 1:22:02.680
<v Speaker 2>or a TV show and go, oh, yeah, that's good.

1:22:02.920 --> 1:22:05.800
<v Speaker 2>That was amazing. Even if it moved you hugely, that

1:22:05.880 --> 1:22:07.200
<v Speaker 2>connection isn't the same.

1:22:07.320 --> 1:22:10.479
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that's why you gave him an ugly

1:22:10.520 --> 1:22:17.040
<v Speaker 1>statue of himself. Oh my god, I've watched that a

1:22:17.120 --> 1:22:18.599
<v Speaker 1>million times that day.

1:22:18.680 --> 1:22:21.960
<v Speaker 2>Man, that was so much fun. That was just, you know,

1:22:21.960 --> 1:22:25.280
<v Speaker 2>because pranks they're the worst thing to film. They're awful

1:22:25.320 --> 1:22:27.400
<v Speaker 2>because they could just go wrong at any point. They

1:22:27.400 --> 1:22:31.599
<v Speaker 2>could go wrong one notice of a camera and hundreds

1:22:31.640 --> 1:22:36.559
<v Speaker 2>of thousands of dollars and my got that day just

1:22:37.240 --> 1:22:40.880
<v Speaker 2>worked out in the best way. It was.

1:22:42.640 --> 1:22:46.000
<v Speaker 1>It's so good. If anyone's not seen it, it's so good.

1:22:46.680 --> 1:22:48.719
<v Speaker 1>If you watch The Dog and you love Dabbie Beckham

1:22:48.760 --> 1:22:50.960
<v Speaker 1>and you love what James does, you have to go

1:22:51.000 --> 1:22:53.360
<v Speaker 1>and see it. It's just you made the ugliest statue

1:22:53.439 --> 1:22:55.280
<v Speaker 1>I had the idea one of the best looking men.

1:22:55.680 --> 1:22:57.679
<v Speaker 2>I had the idea because do you remember the real

1:22:57.760 --> 1:23:01.040
<v Speaker 2>Ronaldo one? Yeah? Remember that? So then it was like

1:23:01.280 --> 1:23:03.800
<v Speaker 2>I remember going into it, going into Ben's office and

1:23:03.880 --> 1:23:06.960
<v Speaker 2>going because I think if if they hadn't done that

1:23:07.000 --> 1:23:10.400
<v Speaker 2>with Ronaldo in real life, I don't think David would

1:23:10.400 --> 1:23:12.759
<v Speaker 2>have believed it right right, Yeah, But it was because

1:23:12.800 --> 1:23:15.840
<v Speaker 2>it happened in real life with Cristiano Ronaldo that we

1:23:15.840 --> 1:23:19.120
<v Speaker 2>were like, oh, hang on, we could do this, and

1:23:19.160 --> 1:23:21.439
<v Speaker 2>I never thought it would work as well as it did. Yeah,

1:23:21.760 --> 1:23:24.280
<v Speaker 2>and credit I have to say to the to the

1:23:24.320 --> 1:23:29.200
<v Speaker 2>actors in that sketch, I mean just just brilliant.

1:23:29.479 --> 1:23:37.040
<v Speaker 1>Perfect, Yeah, Manchester City, brilliant, amazing, it's amazing. Walk me

1:23:37.080 --> 1:23:39.559
<v Speaker 1>through that what you just said. Now that you're in

1:23:39.600 --> 1:23:42.479
<v Speaker 1>that space six months, you're reflecting, figuring it out. We're

1:23:42.520 --> 1:23:46.479
<v Speaker 1>waiting for that next balloon. We've let the other balloon go.

1:23:47.520 --> 1:23:52.920
<v Speaker 1>What does James Corden's creative process stillness, waiting for the idea,

1:23:53.439 --> 1:23:55.680
<v Speaker 1>building an idea look like? What does that look like?

1:23:55.720 --> 1:23:58.400
<v Speaker 1>Where does that Where does inspiration strike? Where does it

1:23:58.439 --> 1:24:01.519
<v Speaker 1>come from? Where do you seek it? When you've let

1:24:01.600 --> 1:24:03.679
<v Speaker 1>go of something without knowing what's next.

1:24:04.920 --> 1:24:15.879
<v Speaker 2>What I'm really trying to do now is not rush anything.

1:24:16.360 --> 1:24:20.280
<v Speaker 2>I spent a long time squeezing so many things in

1:24:21.360 --> 1:24:24.799
<v Speaker 2>that Actually now I just sort of think, well, don't

1:24:24.840 --> 1:24:29.920
<v Speaker 2>force an idea to be whatever it is that you

1:24:30.479 --> 1:24:34.639
<v Speaker 2>might you know, write or do or But then at

1:24:34.640 --> 1:24:37.679
<v Speaker 2>the same time, I think what I have to really

1:24:37.720 --> 1:24:43.600
<v Speaker 2>be conscious of now is to not be too afraid,

1:24:44.280 --> 1:24:49.040
<v Speaker 2>to not be too scared to do anything, because I

1:24:49.080 --> 1:24:54.519
<v Speaker 2>think I've been so enjoying this feeling of not being

1:24:54.560 --> 1:24:59.439
<v Speaker 2>on TV every day and putting out content on whether

1:24:59.439 --> 1:25:02.280
<v Speaker 2>it's you you, you know, social but I'm so aware of

1:25:03.080 --> 1:25:06.759
<v Speaker 2>how much was just being pushed out all the time,

1:25:07.360 --> 1:25:12.240
<v Speaker 2>and that can come with so much stuff. Totally, it's

1:25:12.280 --> 1:25:14.759
<v Speaker 2>good to sit and work, but then don't be scared

1:25:14.760 --> 1:25:18.960
<v Speaker 2>to do it. Don't be scared of the failure of it.

1:25:19.960 --> 1:25:22.240
<v Speaker 2>I've only took a screen grab. I think it's the

1:25:22.320 --> 1:25:28.000
<v Speaker 2>guy who's the new CEO of Van's Shoes. I think

1:25:28.439 --> 1:25:31.559
<v Speaker 2>we used to work at Logitech and it says here,

1:25:31.640 --> 1:25:34.320
<v Speaker 2>I've just got the screen grab which ran for a decade,

1:25:35.120 --> 1:25:37.120
<v Speaker 2>which he ran for a decade, and he penned a

1:25:37.240 --> 1:25:41.439
<v Speaker 2>doctor Seuse like poem titled the Secret of success, Oh sorry,

1:25:41.560 --> 1:25:45.519
<v Speaker 2>the Secret to success. Avoid it. It reads in part,

1:25:46.280 --> 1:25:50.560
<v Speaker 2>success makes you fearful of losing your place of gambling

1:25:50.560 --> 1:25:54.479
<v Speaker 2>with stature of losing your face, and it is there

1:25:54.520 --> 1:25:57.759
<v Speaker 2>is an element of that I feel of like, well,

1:25:58.240 --> 1:26:00.760
<v Speaker 2>there's a very very very real answer that you do

1:26:00.840 --> 1:26:05.599
<v Speaker 2>something and it's shit, you.

1:26:05.560 --> 1:26:07.840
<v Speaker 1>Know, And all the greats have had that, They've all

1:26:07.840 --> 1:26:08.160
<v Speaker 1>done that.

1:26:08.240 --> 1:26:10.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. But I think that's why I was

1:26:10.360 --> 1:26:16.720
<v Speaker 2>so keen too, even in this period to make this,

1:26:16.720 --> 1:26:20.000
<v Speaker 2>this podcast called This Life of Mine, to like go, well, no,

1:26:20.240 --> 1:26:22.640
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know what this is like this this

1:26:22.760 --> 1:26:24.960
<v Speaker 2>idea of this podcast is an idea I had when

1:26:25.000 --> 1:26:29.000
<v Speaker 2>I was sixteen and I wrote it out. Wow, I

1:26:29.000 --> 1:26:32.880
<v Speaker 2>wrote it out and it was called Planet Lovely. That's

1:26:33.000 --> 1:26:35.000
<v Speaker 2>their name now it's called Planet Were Lovely because do

1:26:35.080 --> 1:26:37.760
<v Speaker 2>you remember there used to be a TV show on

1:26:37.840 --> 1:26:41.280
<v Speaker 2>TV on BBC two when we were growing up called

1:26:41.360 --> 1:26:43.360
<v Speaker 2>Room one o one. Of course, so Room one oh

1:26:43.439 --> 1:26:45.400
<v Speaker 2>one was a show where people would take things they

1:26:45.479 --> 1:26:49.040
<v Speaker 2>hated in life and they would be they would put

1:26:49.040 --> 1:26:51.759
<v Speaker 2>them into Room one o one and they'd be gone forever.

1:26:51.920 --> 1:26:53.839
<v Speaker 2>It was a really funny show. It was a brilliant

1:26:54.360 --> 1:26:57.599
<v Speaker 2>show and premise and I was like sixteen. I was like, well,

1:26:57.600 --> 1:27:01.280
<v Speaker 2>this is great. Wouldn't it be brilliant to make a

1:27:01.320 --> 1:27:05.400
<v Speaker 2>show which is just people talking about things that they

1:27:05.520 --> 1:27:09.640
<v Speaker 2>love and things that are really significant in their life?

1:27:10.160 --> 1:27:14.200
<v Speaker 2>And I wrote this like thing this planet Lovely, it's

1:27:14.240 --> 1:27:18.479
<v Speaker 2>not called Planet Lovely anymore. The decision that that's it

1:27:18.880 --> 1:27:21.120
<v Speaker 2>and not great, But I was like, why don't we

1:27:21.240 --> 1:27:25.200
<v Speaker 2>just have people talk about things that are significant in

1:27:25.240 --> 1:27:30.080
<v Speaker 2>their life, whether it's a film, a place, a person,

1:27:30.280 --> 1:27:36.240
<v Speaker 2>a memory, a possession, a song, and the you know,

1:27:36.320 --> 1:27:39.400
<v Speaker 2>I really really wanted to do it. So I was like,

1:27:39.760 --> 1:27:43.280
<v Speaker 2>can I create something in a completely different medium that

1:27:43.360 --> 1:27:47.519
<v Speaker 2>feels almost the antithesis of what the Lately show was?

1:27:47.600 --> 1:27:51.800
<v Speaker 2>It's it's completely different. It's calm, and it's quiet and

1:27:51.840 --> 1:27:56.720
<v Speaker 2>it's soft, and it's people talking about things that they

1:27:57.600 --> 1:28:00.760
<v Speaker 2>love or that were moments in their life. And like,

1:28:01.160 --> 1:28:04.840
<v Speaker 2>some of the stuff that we've heard has just been great.

1:28:04.920 --> 1:28:09.800
<v Speaker 2>So I've really loved creativity. I'd love the creativity of

1:28:09.960 --> 1:28:13.960
<v Speaker 2>just I don't you know, like we're going to put

1:28:14.000 --> 1:28:17.760
<v Speaker 2>this on serious exam and hopefully people find it and

1:28:17.800 --> 1:28:20.639
<v Speaker 2>hopefully it will be just a piece of joy. It'll

1:28:20.680 --> 1:28:24.200
<v Speaker 2>be a warm hug on a Sunday afternoon, and that

1:28:24.240 --> 1:28:26.519
<v Speaker 2>would be a lovely thing to put out into the world.

1:28:27.439 --> 1:28:32.519
<v Speaker 2>But that's a sort of gestation period of thirty years.

1:28:33.520 --> 1:28:36.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I should do that again. But I

1:28:36.080 --> 1:28:38.760
<v Speaker 2>do think what I'd really love to do is try

1:28:38.840 --> 1:28:41.760
<v Speaker 2>and write one more thing. I'd love to try and

1:28:41.800 --> 1:28:43.880
<v Speaker 2>write one more thing. I'd love to write again with

1:28:44.000 --> 1:28:48.040
<v Speaker 2>Ruth Jones, who I wrote Gavin and Stacey with. I

1:28:48.080 --> 1:28:54.240
<v Speaker 2>love her so much. She is and has been a

1:28:54.280 --> 1:28:58.280
<v Speaker 2>constant in my life as a friend. And you want

1:28:58.320 --> 1:29:03.280
<v Speaker 2>to talk about a long friendship, you know, And so

1:29:03.479 --> 1:29:06.160
<v Speaker 2>I'd love to try and write something else with her.

1:29:06.520 --> 1:29:08.880
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what that'll be. I don't even know

1:29:08.880 --> 1:29:10.800
<v Speaker 2>if we'll ever before do it. I don't know, but

1:29:10.920 --> 1:29:13.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, we we do. We do have chats about

1:29:14.479 --> 1:29:16.800
<v Speaker 2>maybe this is the thing, you know, so that that's

1:29:16.800 --> 1:29:19.640
<v Speaker 2>what I'd really love to do. It's just if you

1:29:19.680 --> 1:29:23.840
<v Speaker 2>listened to Bradley Cooper talk about making my well, he

1:29:23.960 --> 1:29:30.000
<v Speaker 2>really just made a decision to give himself over entirely

1:29:31.400 --> 1:29:37.200
<v Speaker 2>for three years to that project, to just go, well,

1:29:37.200 --> 1:29:40.880
<v Speaker 2>what does it feel like actually to not move from

1:29:41.000 --> 1:29:43.880
<v Speaker 2>one thing to the next, to be to hear they're

1:29:44.080 --> 1:29:45.720
<v Speaker 2>doing this doing and what is it? What does it

1:29:45.760 --> 1:29:49.800
<v Speaker 2>feel like to just give myself over in every way

1:29:50.720 --> 1:29:52.320
<v Speaker 2>to the point where I imagine a lot of people

1:29:52.400 --> 1:29:55.600
<v Speaker 2>around him on that set were earning more financially, but

1:29:55.760 --> 1:29:59.519
<v Speaker 2>like as a as a as a challenge to give

1:29:59.600 --> 1:30:03.280
<v Speaker 2>himself over to it in the most beautiful way. I

1:30:03.280 --> 1:30:08.360
<v Speaker 2>think is it's so inspiring to watch. And I don't

1:30:08.400 --> 1:30:10.280
<v Speaker 2>know if I've ever done that. I don't. I know

1:30:10.320 --> 1:30:12.840
<v Speaker 2>I haven't done that. I never liked that on that level,

1:30:13.120 --> 1:30:18.080
<v Speaker 2>But like, I don't think I've ever completely just given

1:30:18.120 --> 1:30:21.880
<v Speaker 2>myself over to something and seen it through from inception

1:30:22.920 --> 1:30:25.519
<v Speaker 2>to pushing it on the water and letting other people

1:30:26.280 --> 1:30:29.519
<v Speaker 2>decide whether it's good or not and seeing who I

1:30:29.560 --> 1:30:32.320
<v Speaker 2>am the other side of it. Like that's I think

1:30:33.720 --> 1:30:38.599
<v Speaker 2>that would be a really good thing to do. Like

1:30:38.640 --> 1:30:40.800
<v Speaker 2>I might go to I might go this. I just

1:30:40.880 --> 1:30:45.719
<v Speaker 2>found this like seven weekend course at the Film School

1:30:45.720 --> 1:30:49.080
<v Speaker 2>in Becconsfield or seven, I don't know how many days.

1:30:49.120 --> 1:30:51.240
<v Speaker 2>I can't That might be wrong, but I like I think,

1:30:51.240 --> 1:30:54.200
<v Speaker 2>oh maybe I'll maybe I'll do that. I wouldn't mind

1:30:54.280 --> 1:30:57.759
<v Speaker 2>doing some acting classes. I didn't I just wouldn't mind

1:30:57.800 --> 1:31:03.400
<v Speaker 2>just going, well, can I I wonder if there's one

1:31:03.439 --> 1:31:08.240
<v Speaker 2>more thing, And if there isn't, how lucky was I?

1:31:09.400 --> 1:31:12.680
<v Speaker 2>You know? But I really feel like I might be

1:31:12.800 --> 1:31:15.240
<v Speaker 2>getting to a spot where I might have something to say.

1:31:15.479 --> 1:31:24.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, James, you are. You're very unique and extremely extremely

1:31:25.120 --> 1:31:29.760
<v Speaker 1>thoughtful and conscious and so honest and genuine. It's it's

1:31:29.760 --> 1:31:32.559
<v Speaker 1>been such a treat talking to you, honestly, like genuinely

1:31:32.600 --> 1:31:35.160
<v Speaker 1>just sitting with you, and I know that I'm listening

1:31:35.160 --> 1:31:41.000
<v Speaker 1>to an actual stream of consciousness more than curated answers,

1:31:41.040 --> 1:31:43.040
<v Speaker 1>and you know, it's it's really powerful. It's been really

1:31:43.080 --> 1:31:46.120
<v Speaker 1>really special, and I want to thank you for giving

1:31:46.280 --> 1:31:49.800
<v Speaker 1>me this space, holding this space and trusting you with it.

1:31:49.320 --> 1:31:53.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's a it's a real thrill to to

1:31:53.720 --> 1:31:56.759
<v Speaker 2>sit and chat with you. It's it's it's it's it's great.

1:31:57.400 --> 1:32:00.000
<v Speaker 2>It's it's a lovely thing you've created here. It's brilliant.

1:32:00.120 --> 1:32:04.240
<v Speaker 2>It's really brilliant what you're doing. I'm so it's strange.

1:32:04.600 --> 1:32:06.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you feel this, but I feel

1:32:06.160 --> 1:32:11.000
<v Speaker 2>like there's a strange thing with like Brits that go

1:32:11.080 --> 1:32:15.000
<v Speaker 2>to America because it's only like there's only a handful

1:32:15.040 --> 1:32:18.519
<v Speaker 2>of us who know how hard it is and how

1:32:18.640 --> 1:32:23.000
<v Speaker 2>vast that is. So like when I look at when

1:32:23.040 --> 1:32:25.400
<v Speaker 2>I look at your staff and I see the things

1:32:25.400 --> 1:32:27.360
<v Speaker 2>that you're putting out, and like, I think, I walk

1:32:27.439 --> 1:32:30.000
<v Speaker 2>past like a huge billboard of view the other week

1:32:30.040 --> 1:32:31.960
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, and I don't know, we've never met,

1:32:32.240 --> 1:32:35.679
<v Speaker 2>but we have friends in common. And I was like, yeah.

1:32:36.360 --> 1:32:39.719
<v Speaker 2>I was like, gone, boy, yeah.

1:32:39.560 --> 1:32:41.880
<v Speaker 1>When I get to work, Yeah, this is great. I

1:32:41.920 --> 1:32:42.519
<v Speaker 1>was like, you're.

1:32:42.400 --> 1:32:46.559
<v Speaker 2>From from green Wood Green. Yeah, You're from Wood Green.

1:32:47.120 --> 1:32:49.559
<v Speaker 2>Look at him. I'm very proud of you, with no

1:32:49.680 --> 1:32:50.360
<v Speaker 2>reason to be.

1:32:51.680 --> 1:32:55.439
<v Speaker 1>No, mate, I appreciate it. And you know, offline today

1:32:55.479 --> 1:32:57.479
<v Speaker 1>and online you've given me a lot of mentorship and

1:32:57.520 --> 1:32:59.800
<v Speaker 1>coaching that I'll take on and i'll practice in my

1:32:59.840 --> 1:33:02.799
<v Speaker 1>life if honestly, You've left me with some really thoughtful

1:33:02.800 --> 1:33:05.040
<v Speaker 1>pieces of insight. But we end every show with the

1:33:05.080 --> 1:33:08.360
<v Speaker 1>final five, and these are the fast five, which are

1:33:08.560 --> 1:33:11.479
<v Speaker 1>answered in one word to one sentence maximum, of course,

1:33:11.840 --> 1:33:15.200
<v Speaker 1>and so and I'll ruin that rule every time because

1:33:15.280 --> 1:33:17.120
<v Speaker 1>you give such wonderful answers. But we'll try.

1:33:17.160 --> 1:33:18.640
<v Speaker 2>We'll start absolutely, we'll start that.

1:33:18.920 --> 1:33:21.760
<v Speaker 1>So, James, these are your fast five. First question is

1:33:22.439 --> 1:33:25.960
<v Speaker 1>what is the best advice you've ever heard or received.

1:33:26.000 --> 1:33:30.120
<v Speaker 2>To ask yourself, is this of my concern? Right? I'm

1:33:30.160 --> 1:33:32.599
<v Speaker 2>gonna break it already, but I really think that phrase

1:33:33.439 --> 1:33:35.840
<v Speaker 2>is one of the most important things you can hang

1:33:35.880 --> 1:33:42.000
<v Speaker 2>on to, is to just go. There's a great power

1:33:42.720 --> 1:33:46.920
<v Speaker 2>in being able to say that's none of my concern.

1:33:47.240 --> 1:33:52.200
<v Speaker 2>It's more polite than saying I don't care. It's more

1:33:52.320 --> 1:33:56.320
<v Speaker 2>truthful than saying it's nothing to do with me, because

1:33:56.320 --> 1:33:59.200
<v Speaker 2>sometimes it will be to do with you. But is

1:33:59.240 --> 1:34:04.720
<v Speaker 2>it of your concer Do you need to engage with it?

1:34:05.520 --> 1:34:09.960
<v Speaker 2>You just go, I'm sorry, what was that someone say something?

1:34:11.160 --> 1:34:16.120
<v Speaker 2>Think about it? Oh, that's none of my concern and

1:34:16.160 --> 1:34:16.559
<v Speaker 2>carry on.

1:34:17.560 --> 1:34:20.960
<v Speaker 1>I love that super powerful Okay. Question number two, what

1:34:21.080 --> 1:34:23.679
<v Speaker 1>is the worst piece of advice you've ever heard or received?

1:34:25.640 --> 1:34:30.639
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Jeez, oh god, it's weird, you know. I think

1:34:30.840 --> 1:34:33.559
<v Speaker 2>just do it? Right? The Nike, the Nike if you're

1:34:33.560 --> 1:34:36.519
<v Speaker 2>in America, and the Nike if you're in England Britain.

1:34:36.960 --> 1:34:41.000
<v Speaker 2>The I think, just do it is a brilliant slogan, right.

1:34:41.040 --> 1:34:42.920
<v Speaker 2>I think it's one of the most powerful slogans in

1:34:42.960 --> 1:34:45.439
<v Speaker 2>the world. And what makes it so powerful is that

1:34:45.560 --> 1:34:49.519
<v Speaker 2>is the full stop is the period just do it right,

1:34:49.840 --> 1:34:54.840
<v Speaker 2>just do it great, but that can really have other connotations. Yeah,

1:34:55.800 --> 1:34:58.320
<v Speaker 2>so I would say I would say, don't just do it.

1:34:58.560 --> 1:35:01.240
<v Speaker 2>Ask whether you want to do it? Do you really

1:35:01.360 --> 1:35:03.880
<v Speaker 2>want to do it? And then do it.

1:35:04.560 --> 1:35:06.439
<v Speaker 1>I love how you just went up against the greatest

1:35:06.439 --> 1:35:08.240
<v Speaker 1>slogan of all times.

1:35:08.720 --> 1:35:12.800
<v Speaker 2>Do you think it's a masterpiece? I just sometimes think yeah,

1:35:12.840 --> 1:35:16.000
<v Speaker 2>because it's like you know, I would say, like you know,

1:35:16.520 --> 1:35:21.599
<v Speaker 2>Crystal Meth, don't just do it, don't just do it? Really,

1:35:21.680 --> 1:35:23.519
<v Speaker 2>don't just do it? Yeah, I love it.

1:35:23.520 --> 1:35:25.120
<v Speaker 1>Now the new one when we go walk about the

1:35:25.200 --> 1:35:27.640
<v Speaker 1>next door in England, do you really want to do it?

1:35:27.640 --> 1:35:31.320
<v Speaker 2>It's going to ask yourself seriously, do you really want

1:35:31.400 --> 1:35:34.840
<v Speaker 2>to do it? And if the answer is yes, just as.

1:35:36.920 --> 1:35:38.600
<v Speaker 1>I love it, I love it. I'm looking forward to

1:35:38.600 --> 1:35:39.720
<v Speaker 1>seeing that billboard with you on.

1:35:39.840 --> 1:35:41.960
<v Speaker 2>It's not as snappy. I don't know if it will

1:35:42.000 --> 1:35:42.760
<v Speaker 2>really take off.

1:35:44.200 --> 1:35:47.479
<v Speaker 1>Question number three, how would you define your current purpose?

1:35:48.280 --> 1:35:52.519
<v Speaker 2>I think my current purpose is to let it be

1:35:53.840 --> 1:36:00.559
<v Speaker 2>and accept whatever it is. And that's not work, that's life,

1:36:01.520 --> 1:36:07.519
<v Speaker 2>accept all of it. Don't get caught up in what

1:36:07.560 --> 1:36:11.719
<v Speaker 2>you thought something should be. Just to accept what it

1:36:11.760 --> 1:36:18.120
<v Speaker 2>is and realize how incredibly amazing is to just be alive.

1:36:18.439 --> 1:36:23.200
<v Speaker 1>It's brilliant. Question number four, what does it feel like

1:36:23.680 --> 1:36:26.960
<v Speaker 1>when Tom Cruise says to you your life is more

1:36:27.040 --> 1:36:27.840
<v Speaker 1>valuable than his?

1:36:29.200 --> 1:36:38.280
<v Speaker 2>It feels like a lie? Ja, It's like, yeah, it

1:36:38.360 --> 1:36:39.960
<v Speaker 2>feels like a lie. And I think I knew that

1:36:40.000 --> 1:36:42.960
<v Speaker 2>at the time, but you believed it. He I mean, man,

1:36:43.040 --> 1:36:45.439
<v Speaker 2>he could say anything, and I believe him, you know,

1:36:45.640 --> 1:36:50.439
<v Speaker 2>anything at all? Like the guy is just exceptional. Oh

1:36:50.520 --> 1:36:51.879
<v Speaker 2>my god, amazing.

1:36:52.280 --> 1:36:56.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Special fifth and final question, which we asked every

1:36:56.040 --> 1:36:58.400
<v Speaker 1>guest has ever been on the show. If you could

1:36:58.439 --> 1:37:01.719
<v Speaker 1>create one law everyone in the world had to follow,

1:37:02.120 --> 1:37:02.800
<v Speaker 1>what would it be.

1:37:04.080 --> 1:37:07.639
<v Speaker 2>I think the law should be for every minute you

1:37:07.720 --> 1:37:12.519
<v Speaker 2>spend on social media, that when you come off the app,

1:37:12.880 --> 1:37:17.240
<v Speaker 2>you're not allowed back on for that many minutes. So

1:37:17.320 --> 1:37:19.519
<v Speaker 2>if you go on for an hour, you're locked out

1:37:19.520 --> 1:37:22.240
<v Speaker 2>for an hour. If you're on for two minutes, you're

1:37:22.240 --> 1:37:24.800
<v Speaker 2>locked out for two minutes. And I believe that should

1:37:24.840 --> 1:37:28.160
<v Speaker 2>be the absolute law. I don't prescribe to this notion

1:37:28.240 --> 1:37:31.280
<v Speaker 2>that these things should be banned. I think it's insane

1:37:31.400 --> 1:37:36.520
<v Speaker 2>to think that. I just think that actually, we regulate

1:37:36.640 --> 1:37:42.320
<v Speaker 2>the speed on the road, we regulate what age you

1:37:42.400 --> 1:37:44.679
<v Speaker 2>are when you can vote, what age you are, when

1:37:44.720 --> 1:37:48.879
<v Speaker 2>you can get married, have a child, do a degree,

1:37:49.040 --> 1:37:53.080
<v Speaker 2>drink alcohol, all these things. And actually, I think one

1:37:53.160 --> 1:37:57.720
<v Speaker 2>regulation would be that you know, you could expect if

1:37:57.720 --> 1:38:03.040
<v Speaker 2>you need to spend seven hours on it. The second

1:38:03.160 --> 1:38:07.639
<v Speaker 2>is dormant for a minute. You're locked out for seven hours.

1:38:08.040 --> 1:38:10.679
<v Speaker 2>And I think people would be I think it would

1:38:10.680 --> 1:38:13.080
<v Speaker 2>be great. I think it would be brilliant.

1:38:13.360 --> 1:38:16.519
<v Speaker 1>That is genius. That's my that's my genius. We never

1:38:16.600 --> 1:38:18.160
<v Speaker 1>had anything like that.

1:38:18.320 --> 1:38:20.920
<v Speaker 2>I pitched it once to to I was at some

1:38:21.439 --> 1:38:25.719
<v Speaker 2>conference thing, interviewing quite a prominent sort of Silicon Valley

1:38:26.000 --> 1:38:29.840
<v Speaker 2>Ye you know, CEO, and I pitched this as an

1:38:29.920 --> 1:38:32.040
<v Speaker 2>idea in the room, and it did not go down.

1:38:34.280 --> 1:38:39.160
<v Speaker 2>They did not respond as well as you. That's why

1:38:39.200 --> 1:38:43.960
<v Speaker 2>would we ever do that? Monetizing every all of their time?

1:38:44.080 --> 1:38:46.639
<v Speaker 2>We want all of their time, James. We don't want

1:38:46.680 --> 1:38:48.800
<v Speaker 2>some of their time. We want to steal it all.

1:38:50.479 --> 1:38:52.519
<v Speaker 1>I'm the opposite. I'm thinking, how do we make that happen?

1:38:52.600 --> 1:38:52.920
<v Speaker 2>Like what?

1:38:53.000 --> 1:38:54.320
<v Speaker 1>That that's brilliant.

1:38:54.439 --> 1:38:57.000
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a really interesting to play with.

1:38:57.000 --> 1:38:59.360
<v Speaker 1>Because again, it's not I'm on a diet. I'm on

1:38:59.400 --> 1:39:03.840
<v Speaker 1>a d top someone it's not you know, this is awful,

1:39:03.880 --> 1:39:05.840
<v Speaker 1>this is you know on it for seven days, and.

1:39:05.960 --> 1:39:08.599
<v Speaker 2>All of these things, all of these things social media,

1:39:09.200 --> 1:39:12.040
<v Speaker 2>like you know, the way people the way that you know,

1:39:12.240 --> 1:39:14.400
<v Speaker 2>the new thing where we talk about AI and it's like,

1:39:14.600 --> 1:39:17.480
<v Speaker 2>of course it's terrifying, it's also going to be miraculous

1:39:17.479 --> 1:39:21.280
<v Speaker 2>and brilliant. So nothing is nothing is all bad, nothing

1:39:21.360 --> 1:39:23.200
<v Speaker 2>is all good, No one is all bad, no one

1:39:23.280 --> 1:39:25.880
<v Speaker 2>is all good. It's impossible. But what you can do

1:39:26.000 --> 1:39:29.120
<v Speaker 2>is regulate these things in a sense. And if that

1:39:29.320 --> 1:39:32.400
<v Speaker 2>was just the we would all accept it. We'd all

1:39:32.400 --> 1:39:34.920
<v Speaker 2>accept it. And I'm sure someone somewhere will find a

1:39:35.000 --> 1:39:38.120
<v Speaker 2>hack that means you can't, but on the whole people

1:39:38.160 --> 1:39:40.640
<v Speaker 2>would just go along with it, and they'd like, I

1:39:40.680 --> 1:39:42.360
<v Speaker 2>can't open it. I'll open it in a minute, and

1:39:42.360 --> 1:39:45.280
<v Speaker 2>then they would stop and look up and realize that actually,

1:39:45.840 --> 1:39:50.800
<v Speaker 2>maybe maybe out here can nourish me more than it

1:39:50.920 --> 1:39:53.280
<v Speaker 2>does in there. It's very hard to leave in there

1:39:53.600 --> 1:39:54.679
<v Speaker 2>when it's always there.

1:39:55.280 --> 1:39:58.400
<v Speaker 1>James, Your world class This Life of Mine is available

1:39:58.439 --> 1:40:03.280
<v Speaker 1>right now wherever you listen. Two podcasts Serious right Yes,

1:40:03.280 --> 1:40:06.080
<v Speaker 1>Serious ExM and So I hope you guys subscribe, Follow

1:40:06.840 --> 1:40:08.280
<v Speaker 1>and look out for an episode. I'm going to get

1:40:08.280 --> 1:40:11.679
<v Speaker 1>to jump on the podcast too, really really looking forward

1:40:11.720 --> 1:40:14.360
<v Speaker 1>to that. Great and again, thank you so much, James.

1:40:14.360 --> 1:40:15.679
<v Speaker 2>This is absolutely privilege.

1:40:16.439 --> 1:40:19.120
<v Speaker 1>If you love this episode, you love my interview with

1:40:19.240 --> 1:40:22.799
<v Speaker 1>Will Smith on owning your truth and unlocking the power

1:40:22.840 --> 1:40:27.120
<v Speaker 1>of manifestation. Anybody who hasn't spoken to their parents or

1:40:27.160 --> 1:40:32.000
<v Speaker 1>their brother, call them right now. Don't think you're going

1:40:32.080 --> 1:40:34.719
<v Speaker 1>to have a chance to call them tomorrow or next week.

1:40:34.840 --> 1:40:40.479
<v Speaker 1>That opportunity with my father changed every relationship in my life.