Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 1: termino and gay.
Speaker 2: We want to send you off InStyle.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Malcorn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: To ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you
Speaker 2: need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 2: Hello, Karen, just you and me? Huh hello? Hello?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 2: How do I sound? I sound? Can you hear the
Speaker 2: moody blues in the background, Chris?
Speaker 1: Your recording from the seventies today? That's cool?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I just just for the memories. No, I
Speaker 2: my neighbor, Well, he's not a neighbor here is It's
Speaker 2: an abandoned house. Oh, and has been for the whole
Speaker 2: time I've lived here. It's just a haunted house from.
Speaker 1: The east side. That's valuable profit.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, my Yes, I am across the street
Speaker 2: from me is Angelina Heights. The historic neighborhood that boasts
Speaker 2: the most Victorian homes and has hitching posts for old
Speaker 2: bankers to ride home and on their horses from downtown
Speaker 2: when it was just this was a financial city, pre Hollywood.
Speaker 2: I'm painting a picture home and eat a boiled boot
Speaker 2: and be mean to their wife. But then upon and
Speaker 2: then on my street, it's old apartments that are kind
Speaker 2: of run down, which is why it was affordable. But
Speaker 2: next to me are two scary places. One of them
Speaker 2: is inhabited by many a family, and then this one
Speaker 2: was empty. And then this guy just started working there
Speaker 2: at night. Somehow found a power source. But he's working
Speaker 2: to make it livable, and I think he's just squatting,
Speaker 2: and no one's ever asked him what he's doing.
Speaker 1: I don't know, though, how's that possible when.
Speaker 2: Because he's doing it all by himself and he has
Speaker 2: lights on at night tarps. I think he's just reinforcing
Speaker 2: the foundation, replacing some of the wood. But it's slow
Speaker 2: work he is, and at night when I walk by,
Speaker 2: there's the unmistakable smell of crack being smoked, so it's
Speaker 2: like leisure. There's no I'm saying, he doesn't have a boss.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know his boss is Crack. Yeah, he has
Speaker 1: a boss, and it's a merciless and an unyielding boss.
Speaker 2: More like a mind lord trying trying to get out
Speaker 2: early on your lease. With that relationship.
Speaker 1: The idea that somebody would be renovating a house from
Speaker 1: the foundation up on crack yeah, is if this guy
Speaker 1: achieves anything at all, we should go and throw him aparty.
Speaker 2: Cras doesn't give you your deposit back? What have I
Speaker 2: kept doing? I'm sorry, Uh yeah, no, he does get
Speaker 2: and I've started like forcefully saying like how's it going,
Speaker 2: and he's like pretty good, starting to get some work done.
Speaker 2: Like he he's there early in the morning too, with
Speaker 2: his shirt off with a wheelbarrow.
Speaker 1: But one night the wheelbarrow was empty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's on and he's talking to an invisible animal inside.
Speaker 2: You're a big cute little bear, aren't you. But one
Speaker 2: night his there was just a car back there, pinned
Speaker 2: to the fence. On the other side of the fence.
Speaker 2: Is these folks that all live together and they're they're
Speaker 2: like bodybuilder, personal trainer guys with money. So that house
Speaker 2: is nice. There's just these two scary haunted houses. But
Speaker 2: their car was pinned against their fence and they were
Speaker 2: clearly drunk, and I'm like, what's going on? Do you
Speaker 2: guys need help? And they're like, our car is stuck,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I can see that, okay,
Speaker 2: and I just kept it was none of my business.
Speaker 2: But they are right next door. And my point is,
Speaker 2: my long point is that he really likes the Moody
Speaker 2: Blues and he plays it very loudly.
Speaker 1: Is it the only songs I can think of are
Speaker 1: Knights and White Satin?
Speaker 2: You got your Knights and White Satin, you got your
Speaker 2: other one.
Speaker 1: There's one other one.
Speaker 2: Letters I've written, ever meaning to send, You've got That's the.
Speaker 1: Same thing, more lyrics.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I there. I for a little while was into
Speaker 2: the Moody Blues, but I can't think it's been long
Speaker 2: enough to where I can't remember any any of their
Speaker 2: songs right now.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, Knights of White Satin is seven minutes
Speaker 1: long and an epic tale of I don't know whatever
Speaker 1: it's about. So that does kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: if you don't have a ton of hits, at least
Speaker 1: your one hit is this journey.
Speaker 2: You know, letters I've written, never meaning to send because
Speaker 2: I love is that the one where it's yes, sid.
Speaker 1: Bringing the strings full? But you know what, it's good
Speaker 1: like this of two people acapella singing in and on
Speaker 1: a podcast. Imagine the real recording when you're on crack right,
Speaker 1: Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, just whistle whistling along to an empty wheelbarrel. I
Speaker 2: just I it's so funny that I can't. It's it's
Speaker 2: good that we can't remember any but I I just
Speaker 2: my back starts to sweat because I know when people
Speaker 2: are relaxed listening to a podcast, that's all they're doing.
Speaker 2: It's hard to think of things while you're thinking of
Speaker 2: things and recording, it's hard to do you. People are
Speaker 2: yelling moody blues songs all across America, and.
Speaker 1: Challenge all of America to yell one other time.
Speaker 2: Someone in Germany right now in German screaming five different
Speaker 2: moody blues songs.
Speaker 1: Being oh wait, speaking of which, have you seen that
Speaker 1: reporter that that six languages?
Speaker 2: I was blown away, and also I watched it over
Speaker 2: and over. They were all spoken so casually. Was he
Speaker 2: just waiting for the day where it's like this is
Speaker 2: an emergency? All the other affiliates have shut down. The
Speaker 2: Al Jazeera in all these countries have shut down. What
Speaker 2: are we gonna do? He's like, well, I'll do it.
Speaker 2: I can speak all the languages. Does that help?
Speaker 1: Can I step in? I also look like a doctor
Speaker 1: from the sixties? Would that be calming? In this basically
Speaker 1: lead up to actual war.
Speaker 2: I knew you were going to say you were sexually
Speaker 2: attracted to him.
Speaker 1: Because Chris and don't act like I say that all
Speaker 1: the time. But that man was handling terrible news. It's
Speaker 1: he created a distraction from what he was actually talking
Speaker 1: about himself, and which is horrible news.
Speaker 2: And he was a handsome guy, well put together. Knew
Speaker 2: what he was doing. And he's working around the clock.
Speaker 2: Every other language, the sun was coming up or it
Speaker 2: was going down. The first one sun's out, twelve languages later,
Speaker 2: the sun is down. He's just on the German now.
Speaker 1: And also the accents like not that I would know
Speaker 1: the difference, except for I've just heard people speak those
Speaker 1: languages generally, and the accents and the the like. You're right,
Speaker 1: there was a casual air of like confidence and geniusness. Obviously.
Speaker 1: I believe it's called being a polydact when you can
Speaker 1: speak multiple languages, which there's facets of your brain that
Speaker 1: are more open than the average Spanish.
Speaker 2: And then Portuguese. Yeah, and I even I because I
Speaker 2: had a Portuguese speaking Spanish teacher in college and I
Speaker 2: never knew the difference. But I have been presented with
Speaker 2: it on a daily basis one time half my life ago,
Speaker 2: and you can say you can and forgot all of it.
Speaker 2: Fucking yeah, I remember my little patos are moi banita
Speaker 2: that means I have pretty shoes, and I like to
Speaker 2: rag about it. But I could tell that. I mean,
Speaker 2: he's perfect accents between those two and just.
Speaker 1: And also is it was like you knew that if
Speaker 1: he misspoke because he wasn't. He was clearly on location, right,
Speaker 1: So he's just staring into a handheld camera. There's no teleprompter,
Speaker 1: he didn't write. He was by from memory reporting that news.
Speaker 2: Even if there was even if he did write it
Speaker 2: out that you know that a long hand. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: mean I'm sure there was some. I've The point is,
Speaker 2: I've been on location and made do with a with
Speaker 2: an iPhone teleprompter. We all got our tricks in the business.
Speaker 2: I've done broadcast journalism. You know that about me? Sure, yeah,
Speaker 2: broadcast ural. But if you haven't seen it, it's just
Speaker 2: type into your computer. News guy does six different x.
Speaker 1: It's not just the it was just.
Speaker 2: He oh he put on a hat or a mustache.
Speaker 2: She really added flair to each character.
Speaker 1: I am always really obsessed though, with people, whether it's
Speaker 1: a man or a woman that look like that, because truly,
Speaker 1: he has the most low key, classic good looks of
Speaker 1: a It's just like when a female reporter if she
Speaker 1: just had like a little blonde bob and was and
Speaker 1: just kind of had like a barbie face. We were like,
Speaker 1: what is it like to be like a catalog model
Speaker 1: your whole life? Not a not an editorial model, not
Speaker 1: a Vogue cover model, but like a catalog level model.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's a haircut. They forced her to have
Speaker 2: the news I it seems like and I'm just saying
Speaker 2: this because I just watched The Morning Show, which is
Speaker 2: very good.
Speaker 1: Oh you liked it?
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. Jennifer Aniston's like a super good actor.
Speaker 1: One.
Speaker 2: Yes, she has told us this, she's amazing in it,
Speaker 2: but they it's clearly and my sister was in the
Speaker 2: news for a while and as a producer and just
Speaker 2: had the ugliest stories about every basically men coming in
Speaker 2: and changing your story, not even telling you, changing what
Speaker 2: you wrote, telling you what to wear. It is like
Speaker 2: it was a perfect industry for them to because that
Speaker 2: show is about the me too moment that we had
Speaker 2: right before COVID, Like they go through both those real
Speaker 2: life situations. So you're watching it like, oh, this is
Speaker 2: two three years ago. You're just watching. They don't really
Speaker 2: ever show the date, but yeah, everything in there. You
Speaker 2: know that they can't just have their hair be long
Speaker 2: and beautiful. Commercial acting is the same way you gotta
Speaker 2: have catalog hair.
Speaker 1: True, although these days it feels like commercial acting you
Speaker 1: can be a real odd ballface and make just as
Speaker 1: much money as the pretty people.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of what I like about commercials. That's
Speaker 2: why I go in there and cross my eyes. Well
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. That's why I grew this goddamn mustache.
Speaker 2: You know that set yourself apart, And because the minute
Speaker 2: I grew it, I booked something, and I kept booking
Speaker 2: things because I had, yeah, this, Oh you have a
Speaker 2: classic look. I'm like, yeah, I don't really prefer it
Speaker 2: for my real life, but man, that H and R
Speaker 2: block money is pretty sweet. Hell, yes, whatever, but yeah,
Speaker 2: be nice to just look how you want and be glamorous.
Speaker 2: But I just love. I love on the news when
Speaker 2: they are covering a police chase and so then they're
Speaker 2: locked into like, oh my god, I have to add
Speaker 2: shit for this whole and everyone's glued to. Everyone loves
Speaker 2: watching police chases.
Speaker 1: It's one of the best parts of living in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: is it. People will people go on Twitter and be
Speaker 1: like it's starting now, and then you run to your TV. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's a shared experience of it's almost like watching
Speaker 1: a cop show that's real and it like I think
Speaker 1: we talked about this on one episode long ago when
Speaker 1: I lived in Burbank, there was a police chase I
Speaker 1: watched one night that ended down the street from my house.
Speaker 1: It was like they came up the freeway, do you
Speaker 1: remember this? And they It ended up that they were
Speaker 1: driving down the alleys in basically in Tulucal Lake.
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: And they went and they tried to with the police
Speaker 1: chopper overhead and the light on them. They tried to
Speaker 1: drive down an alley and go into a garage and
Speaker 1: the cops were everywhere. It was crazy and it was
Speaker 1: like watching it. They came up the freeway and took
Speaker 1: an exit where I'm like, well, that's right by here.
Speaker 1: Oh that's oh, I can hear the helicopter and then
Speaker 1: I'm watching my neighborhood on TV.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I did that with the triple Doppler coverage of
Speaker 2: tornadoes in Texas. One time, it's coming up I thirty
Speaker 2: five and I'm like, oh, that's coming my way and
Speaker 2: I hid in my bathroom and nothing happened. But people,
Speaker 2: I think that's a weird part of police chase. People
Speaker 2: watch and they're like, Oh, I hope the criminal drives
Speaker 2: by my house. Let's go out and wave ToJ Simpson family.
Speaker 1: That does happen sometimes, Like I've seen it where people
Speaker 1: go out and they they just kind of jump up
Speaker 1: and down and like cheer for the escapee.
Speaker 2: Like they're in the background of a video game. Yesay, hooray,
Speaker 2: hooray grand theft auto. That's why I have my pixelated flag.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or I haven't seen a good police chase in
Speaker 1: a while.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They I just love that the newspaper, the newspeople. Yes,
Speaker 2: the anchor has to like think of interesting things to say,
Speaker 2: and it's that it's that subtle thing, always blowing a
Speaker 2: red light here. No, I guess it turned green at
Speaker 2: the last minute, so that was a lawful Uh. Well,
Speaker 2: there's really nothing to say. The cops are still behind them,
Speaker 2: and hopefully something happens to where there's a reason I'm
Speaker 2: talking like they did.
Speaker 1: See sometimes do the thing where they go if there's
Speaker 1: a little bit of a puzzygo and again, this is
Speaker 1: a very very dangerous situation. Please do not drive up.
Speaker 1: Please don't come out of your house. Please again, this
Speaker 1: is oh and then they all have a reaction if
Speaker 1: like miss a car that was a shadow is this
Speaker 1: is dangerous, We're not. This is not entertainment.
Speaker 2: This is very dangerous. That was I've spilled coffee on
Speaker 2: my laptop. I didn't want anyone to be alarmed. That
Speaker 2: had nothing to do with the Uh, I'm just changing
Speaker 2: my baby's diaper. The the the chase is still in pursuit.
Speaker 2: But I just noticed that what's in the diaper? So
Speaker 2: that was the exclamation I made.
Speaker 1: Chris. Look at the face that I just brought into
Speaker 1: my zoom.
Speaker 2: Oh man, what kind of dog is that?
Speaker 1: Look at her? That's she's a Someone dropped her off
Speaker 1: at a night overnight drop off deposit box at a yeah,
Speaker 1: at a shelter in the desert area.
Speaker 2: And I was just in the desert area and there's
Speaker 2: so many people that have little desert dogs, and yeah,
Speaker 2: it made me even more. I was hanging out with
Speaker 2: a Blue Healer and they're very smart. Like, if you're
Speaker 2: in a my friend had a Blue Healer, he's he's
Speaker 2: gotten a little older.
Speaker 1: Sorry, really quick, we're talking about my dog.
Speaker 2: Oh, I know it's gonna say all after listening all
Speaker 2: the things I love about Blue Healers and like, but
Speaker 2: yet those things pale in comparison to the dog you're
Speaker 2: holding currently, to this mutt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was going to say to this
Speaker 1: non denominational all dogs mixed into one dog.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you go to dog, you're non denominational.
Speaker 1: I'm episcopala.
Speaker 2: Good my Methodists were allowed to talk.
Speaker 1: Oh cool, see you a guitar mass later, like I'm
Speaker 1: putting her mouth up by the well you got it.
Speaker 2: People. They hear in your voice if you're being if
Speaker 2: you're really selling it masks. Yeah, that dog clearly acts
Speaker 2: like thank you for saving me, and keeps telling you, well,
Speaker 2: well you're.
Speaker 1: She gets a little stressy if she like she needs to.
Speaker 1: She goes from eating to peeing, to going on a
Speaker 1: walk to coming back and being given a treat. So
Speaker 1: like if I sit in front of the computer for
Speaker 1: too long, she has to do stuff like this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because she just needs wins the night it's all okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she needs little stimulants, little rewards.
Speaker 1: It's cute and irritating at the same time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you got that dog, was she like, uh,
Speaker 2: malnourished or or hairless or have a bad eye or anything.
Speaker 1: She they took care of her, so they it was
Speaker 1: it's a rescue place called Blue Man Dog. And I
Speaker 1: thought she was old when I saw her pictures, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'm going to adopt an old gal
Speaker 1: and give her a break. She's a year old. She
Speaker 1: just looks on it old. Yeah, and a little janky, right,
Speaker 1: that's the way I thought about me. They brought her, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they brought her to health and so she's she's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with her. But except for that, she's a little shy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so you have to treat dogs like that, like
Speaker 1: you have to kind of leave them alone when they
Speaker 1: so when they're first adjusting, they can like, figure out
Speaker 1: what the hell's going on. They don't get nervous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, when I started feeding my
Speaker 2: old cat in front of my house, I thought the
Speaker 2: cat was ten years old. A foggy like cataract eye, bear,
Speaker 2: a bear, pink belly, oh yeah, a distended belly, a
Speaker 2: little ear mites like if you zoom in, like it's
Speaker 2: like from a Ren and Skimpy cartoon. And then and
Speaker 2: then all they did is look at his teeth and
Speaker 2: they're like, oh, this cat's only two. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: and after a few cans of tuna that I went
Speaker 2: back to its normal working. Yeah, for real tempering. He
Speaker 2: had a crazy thing about that cat. When there was
Speaker 2: many black and white cats in my neighborhood sharing the
Speaker 2: cat dish in front of the house, take and I
Speaker 2: would put one out there and then there'd be a
Speaker 2: cat and a possum and a cat and another pot.
Speaker 2: They just hung out with possums. No one told them,
Speaker 2: and they all had a foggy eye. They all had
Speaker 2: one bad eye. So I'm like, oh, they're all related.
Speaker 2: They all have a genetic eye thing. But my kiddies,
Speaker 2: I got better and Nancy, it was Sid and Nancy.
Speaker 2: Nancy never really took to coming in the house. She
Speaker 2: was a wild one, and so she stayed outside with
Speaker 2: her bad eye, and she'd come say hi to Sydney
Speaker 2: and he would just turn his back on.
Speaker 1: Her because he was different now. But he is a
Speaker 1: big house.
Speaker 2: He really is a perfect analogy for what happened to
Speaker 2: Venice Beach. He just became a rich Santa Monica boat
Speaker 2: person and turn his back on Dogtown.
Speaker 1: Baby, that's the s ux sucks. Wait a second, though,
Speaker 1: but you took that cat like you got You took
Speaker 1: him to the bed and got rid of everything and
Speaker 1: got them all ship shape.
Speaker 2: And put him in a in a pillowcase. I looked online.
Speaker 2: They're like, if you drown, that was the first plan.
Speaker 2: I filled a barrel with molasses. I was dip that
Speaker 2: cat in and seal the lid. But then I had
Speaker 2: second thoughts and took no I looked online. They said,
Speaker 2: with a cat, a younger cat, or it just said
Speaker 2: any cat, put him in a in a pillowcase and
Speaker 2: they will kind of act like they're in the mother's
Speaker 2: womb or something. Oh, who knows the accreditation of whoever
Speaker 2: typed that out? And put it on the internet because
Speaker 2: the other when I went the cat in there, I
Speaker 2: just thought I'd be like Heathcliff, like punching, trying to
Speaker 2: punch holes in it and scratch just a little.
Speaker 1: Ball tornado with stars and hashtags coming out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just kind of stood still in there, in
Speaker 2: me out and I brought the cat in a pillowcase
Speaker 2: to the vet and that It was only then that
Speaker 2: I realized I had done something strange, because they were like,
Speaker 2: why why is your cat in a pillowcase? Like I
Speaker 2: found a website.
Speaker 1: That's how you found out that anyone can make a
Speaker 1: website if they have like nineteen ninety nine and a
Speaker 1: Go Daddy account. So yeah, this you can't just be
Speaker 1: believing the first thing that comes up.
Speaker 2: No, this was Go Daddy. This is before we all
Speaker 2: knew about the fake news, Karen, fake news.
Speaker 1: I actually are with our old cat. I made a box,
Speaker 1: like I never thought to buy a crate for the cat,
Speaker 1: even though obviously you have to take animals to the vet,
Speaker 1: so you might as well invest because you're going to
Speaker 1: use it at least, you know, ten or fifteen times. Sure,
Speaker 1: I made a I punched holes, like, you know, pretty
Speaker 1: big holes. In a box and then put the cat inside,
Speaker 1: shut it, and that cat of all tried to shove
Speaker 1: his whole head out. It was angus tried to shove
Speaker 1: his whole head out through it like a tiny penny
Speaker 1: sized hole, like it was just trying to shove his
Speaker 1: head out as part as good. And then in the
Speaker 1: car in that box, he was just he was mewing,
Speaker 1: but it sounded like the word why, so you go
Speaker 1: why why? And I could not stop laughing because it
Speaker 1: was just he was just like, what are you doing
Speaker 1: to me?
Speaker 2: Why? A box?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Why not a store box carrier?
Speaker 1: Why am I not good enough?
Speaker 2: I well, at the pet store when I had to
Speaker 2: fly with my cat, of course I didn't want to
Speaker 2: because I forgot about those cardboard carriers. But my cat
Speaker 2: was pretty strong and and had been through some shit
Speaker 2: and I could see easily tearing through any box. So
Speaker 2: I got the top of the line. Like they it
Speaker 2: had a warranty, you know, it was like eighty dollars
Speaker 2: suitcase for cats, but the mesh it had a lot
Speaker 2: And within ten minutes on that fly and I sedated
Speaker 2: the cat. That's how I found out the cat had
Speaker 2: feline aids, which they didn't brace me for at all.
Speaker 2: They just said aids and I freaked out. But anyway,
Speaker 2: as we were flying, the cat was being crazy and
Speaker 2: panting and eight through that mesh and like you said,
Speaker 2: found the smallest hole in the mesh and was just
Speaker 2: birthing his face out of there, like his eyes were
Speaker 2: pulled back, and there was nothing I could do. I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: at this point, I'm just unzipping it because you're going
Speaker 2: to hurt yourself or get strangled in the mess. So
Speaker 2: I unzipped it while we're flying. And I've probably told
Speaker 2: this story before, but the cat.
Speaker 1: You one thousand times.
Speaker 2: Have I know, I know, but it we came to
Speaker 2: it so organically.
Speaker 1: No, we did. This is the most natural version of
Speaker 1: this pass.
Speaker 2: Yes, and this is me actually visually reliving it. That
Speaker 2: leads up to the point I never quite explained in
Speaker 2: the past. Twelve times I've told it why I opened
Speaker 2: the carrier. I thought my kittie was going to choke
Speaker 2: on the mesh hole. Right there you go, And if
Speaker 2: you want to hear the rest of that story, listen
Speaker 2: to our back catalog.
Speaker 1: Also, I'm positive I've told the angus in the box
Speaker 1: yelling why story no, so no judgments.
Speaker 2: You are telling stories to the same person who forgets
Speaker 2: all the stories he's told. So yeah, there have also
Speaker 2: been times where I'm retelling the same story to you,
Speaker 2: one from seven years ago, and I see in your
Speaker 2: face although you just did it, I misread it. Seems
Speaker 2: like you're hearing it for the first time. So I
Speaker 2: just keep going, Chris.
Speaker 1: That's because I've studied as an actress and I have
Speaker 1: dedicated myself as a live performer Julliard in a way
Speaker 1: where I say what I'm saying in my head is
Speaker 1: my job right now is to as to be a
Speaker 1: listener and to say, what's good about this story that
Speaker 1: you've never heard before?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: How can you dig into this? And I'm telling you
Speaker 1: the mesh detail is was my entry point.
Speaker 2: That's just good improv. That's you've got to hook in. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we we were born with that. Take that Emerson College.
Speaker 1: We're it's natural. Yes, maybe we do negate, Yes, maybe
Speaker 1: we do not heighten and instead we get smaller.
Speaker 2: We often we often deny each other's ideas or request.
Speaker 2: But I will know, But the fuck out of you. No,
Speaker 2: but you've said this before.
Speaker 1: No, but I've heard the scorpion story in the boot already.
Speaker 1: It's what we do. It's what it's the glory of
Speaker 1: having your own podcast. You can it's your right to
Speaker 1: tell the same story over and over if it's your podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's right, because what what what lunatic out
Speaker 2: there has just listened to all of them? The chances
Speaker 2: are of whoever's listening and remembers that story, it won't
Speaker 2: be fresh, and I will not have just listened to
Speaker 2: that one episode from five years ago. Well it's been
Speaker 2: years since I.
Speaker 1: Cut to somebody behind the wheel with a single tear
Speaker 1: rolling down.
Speaker 2: That a lunatic.
Speaker 1: I'm not a lunatic. I just listen to this.
Speaker 2: It's on shuffle.
Speaker 1: I can't control the stupid content you guys put out.
Speaker 2: She turns out, she doesn't enjoy it.
Speaker 1: She forced. What if it's someone's like fucking job to
Speaker 1: listen to this podcast and they hate it? Cut to Casey,
Speaker 1: our producer, crime.
Speaker 2: Single tear, single tear. That's great. Well you gotta keep listening, Casey.
Speaker 2: You got a lot of episodes back there.
Speaker 1: You're gonna hear these stories, so many.
Speaker 2: Many versions of the catades you. But again, to defend myself,
Speaker 2: that that story. He commonly goes down the Aids Avenue
Speaker 2: and I took a left turn on Mesh Boulevard.
Speaker 1: That's right, because we had to build a called a
Speaker 1: sack on Aids Avenue.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, I might have to kick these dogs out
Speaker 1: because here's a new thing. So I got some toys
Speaker 1: for this for Blossom, the new dog. But Frank, who
Speaker 1: has never cared about toys, suddenly I busted out to
Speaker 1: these of just kind of standard. They're basically like rubber
Speaker 1: tennis ball type of balls. Suddenly, Frank, that's his obsession
Speaker 1: and he won't leave it alone and he carries it around.
Speaker 1: Did I tell you this already where he walked out.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they bark if the pool filter goes on, it
Speaker 1: makes noise, so they he has to go bark at
Speaker 1: it at seven thirty in the morning. But this one morning,
Speaker 1: he walked out with the ball in his mouth, so
Speaker 1: he was barking, but he was muting himself basically. So
Speaker 1: he's like, because he wouldn't drop this ball, and it's
Speaker 1: like the puppy has now reinvigorated his love of toys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's she is, like.
Speaker 1: All she wants to do is for him to do
Speaker 1: like tugle war on some toy, and he literally won't.
Speaker 1: He just stares at her. It's really cute.
Speaker 2: That's so funny because he has to be like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I used to be just like you not long ago. Look,
Speaker 2: just while we were talking, I made a little butcher
Speaker 2: knife for my next kitchen. Oh well, it looks all
Speaker 2: it's because the foil is weird. Maybe it's not.
Speaker 1: No, it looks like a knife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little tiny knife.
Speaker 1: Tiny.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just watched Halloween, say stab a little screaming
Speaker 2: actress with it. God, what a terrible movie. It stressed
Speaker 2: me out, but I I'm gonna work. Oh it's so scary,
Speaker 2: is it?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: I don't like scream, I don't like Halloween. I don't
Speaker 2: like the just watch it. Then, I don't know, because
Speaker 2: I had I thought that. I thought that what's my
Speaker 2: favorite person ever was Jennie Curtis was going to be
Speaker 2: in it. And I was watching the rob zombie version.
Speaker 1: Oh no, are you crazy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that desert rocker. I can't make a movie to
Speaker 2: save his ass. And it was very gory and just gratuitate,
Speaker 2: like I don't know, it's just killing. I don't like
Speaker 2: it anyway, this knife I'm gonna make. I actually ordered,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make a little house and do the little
Speaker 2: skate park outside with little bags of cement and cinder
Speaker 2: blocks and stuff. I ordered the tiny construction stuff. So
Speaker 2: I'm very excited, just to reassure everyone. I know it
Speaker 2: seemed like a fleeting thing, my love of miniatures, but
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be back into it.
Speaker 1: Yes, I would argue, I would. I'm going to speak up. Sorry,
Speaker 1: there's there's a little background noise with them, Blossom trying
Speaker 1: really hard to get Frank to do a tug of
Speaker 1: war with her and he she won't leave it alone.
Speaker 1: A lot of paper on the ground.
Speaker 2: But that's normal noise, so it's not moody blues.
Speaker 1: It's fine, although both dogs are on crack. But I
Speaker 1: was going to say, oh that on behalf of the listener.
Speaker 1: I think it's my right to say, nobody would ever
Speaker 1: believe that your love of miniatures is insincere or a
Speaker 1: fleeting thing.
Speaker 2: I think that a lot of people have been questioning
Speaker 2: my practice, and that it's like, oh, you made one bookstore,
Speaker 2: and now you think you can talk about miniatures all
Speaker 2: the time. You're a poser and a fraud.
Speaker 1: They'll say, Chris, have you been spending a lot of
Speaker 1: time on social media?
Speaker 2: This is sounds like I'll even talk to people that
Speaker 2: someone drunkenly said you talk down to people on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Do you ever do any research? I even interact with
Speaker 2: those people. I'm like, oh, no, I'm sorry, this is
Speaker 2: my first hate mail. And then she was like, it's okay.
Speaker 2: I was drunk. I listened. I listened to it a lot,
Speaker 2: and I'm like.
Speaker 1: We're literally, first of all, whoever that person is, if
Speaker 1: you're listening, now, what the fuck's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: What she said, you're a twat? And then I said, hey,
Speaker 2: what's this and she's like I was drunk.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, oh, so that was kind of flirting.
Speaker 2: That's no. I don't know. I think it was just strangeness.
Speaker 1: What I was going to say is that seems like
Speaker 1: a borrowed criticism, because what the hell are you supposed
Speaker 1: to research on this stupid fucking show. Seriously, we couldn't
Speaker 1: be more random conversational. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're talking about
Speaker 1: stand up comedy, which we've both done like thirty plus
Speaker 1: years of research on it.
Speaker 2: There's been a handful of times and It had to
Speaker 2: be in reference to one of the times we'll have
Speaker 2: a guest on and we just get oh, and your
Speaker 2: thing is called this or whatever. Like a lot of
Speaker 2: times we're pretty loose with that approach or I am,
Speaker 2: but other times we nail it. You know. I feel
Speaker 2: like with a guest like knowing a little bit and
Speaker 2: that turns into a fun conversation. So whatever, it's not
Speaker 2: an exact I'm.
Speaker 1: Not it's it's it's not a science at all. It's
Speaker 1: just a conversation that gets recorded.
Speaker 2: I know. I know no science, I promise you. I've
Speaker 2: only gotten one message like that. It's usually the sweetest
Speaker 2: people I know. I know. I was like, well, she
Speaker 2: must be from England. It just seems like an English
Speaker 2: thing to say, yeah rat oh, I'm good at accents.
Speaker 1: It really doesn't make sense. No, no, but I do
Speaker 1: love the the at least there is a little bit
Speaker 1: of accountability that they that she said I'm drunk.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's funny. Well yeah, yeah, it was an
Speaker 2: old message that I was like, oh, I've never found
Speaker 2: this folder. But I do like inter I do. I
Speaker 2: do read messages and I do like saying thank you and.
Speaker 1: Are your dms? Open.
Speaker 2: Sure, yeah z yeah, no so far, no weirdos. That's
Speaker 2: how I know. No weirdos have ever come to shows
Speaker 2: because they know secretly that I got a dark side.
Speaker 2: No one wants to mess with me, I think, right.
Speaker 1: They know your little knives, they know what you're up to.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Not five minutes ago. I was talking about my obsession
Speaker 2: with stabbings. So don't be coming up to me after
Speaker 2: a show with your drunken twat talk. Oh you know,
Speaker 2: I gotta It's a fine line, and once you cross it,
Speaker 2: it's karate time.
Speaker 1: Baby. Do your research. You're talking down to people. Wait,
Speaker 1: are you sure listening to the right book?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, are you? Are you trying to listen to
Speaker 2: the Daily or something? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Your research.
Speaker 2: But this house, I'm gonna dedicate a whole shelf to it.
Speaker 2: There's going to be a skate park, a little kids room,
Speaker 2: a sweet fan so that I'll make a guitar for
Speaker 2: so the kid. I'll have an electric No, no, just
Speaker 2: one of the many, many sweet fans. You gotta get
Speaker 2: on Instagram, Karen. You can have all the virtual relationships.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. Once they show these are real people,
Speaker 2: It's not a lot of people hide and they're like, Oh,
Speaker 2: that person really likes this. It's legitimate. It's like a
Speaker 2: real friendship or something. Once they show up to a
Speaker 2: show and I know the person's name because I've interacted
Speaker 2: with them for two years. Yes, it's really neat. It
Speaker 2: is like pen pals or whatever, except you're meeting dozens
Speaker 2: at a time and it's a lot, and so it
Speaker 2: doesn't last too long. It's like, hey, great to meet you,
Speaker 2: and it's fun to remember certain things. You're the one
Speaker 2: that does this for a living. Yep, it's fun. It's
Speaker 2: been a good memory thing too. It's like my sudoku well.
Speaker 1: And that I do that sometimes to people because I
Speaker 1: do recognize people, especially when I was on social media
Speaker 1: much much more kind of addicted to it, and I
Speaker 1: did remember seeing people over and over, people saying I
Speaker 1: love this, this is the greatest or whatever. So that
Speaker 1: if they came around the corner for our meet and rates,
Speaker 1: because also that it would make sense. Those are the
Speaker 1: people that then are like, oh, no, I want to
Speaker 1: actually I'll pay money to meet yeah, and then they
Speaker 1: so I've done that to a couple. It's usually women.
Speaker 1: They come around the corner and I go I know
Speaker 1: you from Twitter and they go what and they totally
Speaker 1: freak out where it's like, yeah, because you're talking to
Speaker 1: me the iMac that's actually me on there.
Speaker 2: I know it's right, right, but yeah, sometimes people think
Speaker 2: that someone is answering on our behalf or something like
Speaker 2: I thought you had an assistant pretended. Yeah, not that right.
Speaker 1: Although there are people that have me that there are
Speaker 1: accounts on Instagram that are it says my name, but
Speaker 1: it isn't. I'm not on Instagram, So anybody who has
Speaker 1: my name on Instagram is a fucking fraud.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, you got to look for that little check mark. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's there's a Karen like fan site.
Speaker 1: Sometimes yeah, God bless us.
Speaker 2: Fun but yeah, it's it's the most important interaction, the
Speaker 2: one way listening.
Speaker 1: Kind, the one where you have to d m your
Speaker 1: criticisms later, you twaks. I have to say it's a
Speaker 1: it's a really fun word because normally I don't like
Speaker 1: that that word makes me very reactive. But in this
Speaker 1: scenario where it's just a drunkard, it's like you're kind
Speaker 1: of sinny calling a man awa.
Speaker 2: Yeah I know, I know.
Speaker 1: It's genius.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's genius, and I'm pretty sure she's in England.
Speaker 2: So with the accent, call me whatever you want. Some
Speaker 2: of the words are great for.
Speaker 1: Real, and which brings us back to that reporter that
Speaker 1: spoke six language.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he could have been dropping with some of
Speaker 2: those languages, just dropping the sea bomb, boy, a lot
Speaker 2: of Not that long ago, I said the sea word
Speaker 2: a couple of times to jokingly, and you laughed, and
Speaker 2: it was but I was doing a character of some
Speaker 2: kind and I said it twice. I just want to apologize.
Speaker 1: Were you playing a character on our podcast to say.
Speaker 2: That, Yeah, you and I were doing two man improv. No,
Speaker 2: I just I don't know. Then I said it, and
Speaker 2: then I was like I probably shouldn't have said that.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, here it comes again, and I yelled
Speaker 2: it and then uh some oh my book my Brian,
Speaker 2: the guy that's been helping me, uh my friend that
Speaker 2: or he's my booker. He said, yeah, I listen to
Speaker 2: an episode you said the sea word twice. I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I do now quite vividly remember that. Sorry. He just
Speaker 2: was surprised because I didn't seem like a sea dropper.
Speaker 1: No, you're you don't seem like a sea dropper. That
Speaker 1: word does make me laugh, especially when British people say
Speaker 1: because in England it's not a big deal. And I
Speaker 1: love that cultural difference of like, because I think I
Speaker 1: may have told you this, but there's an equivalent in Irish,
Speaker 1: which is the word fanny.
Speaker 2: Fanny, Yeah, a very very dirty word.
Speaker 1: And we were in Ireland and I was with Flannagan
Speaker 1: from Largo and I said it and I was using it,
Speaker 1: you know, the American way, and I was like something,
Speaker 1: Fanny goes.
Speaker 2: You can't sure, fann't believe that you were using the
Speaker 2: American Oh, I sat right on my fanny.
Speaker 1: But I said it full voice and he was literally
Speaker 1: like ducking down, going, stop saying stop saying it.
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: It was so hilarious. Socially, it's worse than the sea
Speaker 1: word over there, and it's like I've heard that, I've
Speaker 1: heard it's such a juvenile. It's like a word for
Speaker 1: little kids in America, and it's like the you're in Ireland,
Speaker 1: it's you're it's literally you're talking about female genitalia that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, and where it's like you get a
Speaker 2: spanking on the fanny boy. Imagine if you said that
Speaker 2: in Ireland.
Speaker 1: You can't. This is now a rated X podcast in
Speaker 1: the UK.
Speaker 2: Eighties Midwest Mom, spank and your fanny.
Speaker 1: No, stop talking about it? Oh right, your book are
Speaker 1: is going to lose his mind?
Speaker 2: Really? Wow? Wow? It's just isn't that funny? Where we
Speaker 2: come from, it's a it's a childish word for a butt. Yeah,
Speaker 2: not even the butt, not even the genitals of the butt,
Speaker 2: just the meaty roundness of the cheeks. Stop Jenny, Yeah no.
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure people have this clear,
Speaker 2: specifically on a child. No, no around child.
Speaker 1: This is all out.
Speaker 2: We're out.
Speaker 1: We were we started being out when I started talking
Speaker 1: about Ireland, and we're out. Through this out.
Speaker 2: I won't say the word. I'll just replace it with funny.
Speaker 2: Funny is basically saying bottom here correct in where we live,
Speaker 2: a spanking on your funny bottom, and I'm sorry of
Speaker 2: where you live. It's word that'll send you straight down. Hell,
Speaker 2: it's for jail.
Speaker 1: Become serious. The government's going to have to investigate.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, there's a lot of examples. They also
Speaker 2: call a trunk a bonnet on a car, and the hood.
Speaker 1: The trunk is a boot, The trunk.
Speaker 2: Is a boot, and the hood is a bonnet.
Speaker 1: Yep, yeah, just an elevator.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I take offense to that as an Amish milk maid.
Speaker 2: How dare you, How damn dare you disgrace my hat?
Speaker 1: Walk into this barn raising and tell me my boot
Speaker 1: is a bonnet. This is probably the best podcast episode
Speaker 1: we've ever recorded it.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm going to say, in all seriousness,
Speaker 2: the people that like us are liking this the most
Speaker 2: because it's you and us old school riffing. We don't
Speaker 2: need no car with no fucking Yeah. We've been swearing,
Speaker 2: We've been taught telling it like it is. We've been
Speaker 2: retelling old stories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is this is dinar at its finest essence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we don't need a car. We will be
Speaker 2: back in the car. We talked about that today at
Speaker 2: a meeting. But we don't know when it's just you
Speaker 2: gotta hang on. It's something to look forward to.
Speaker 1: It's like a build up to the future thing. It's
Speaker 1: gonna happen soon. But when you don't know.
Speaker 2: Karen's right, it's like a build up to the future thing.
Speaker 2: Get ready, get ready. That thing is out there and
Speaker 2: it's in the future, building up to it. That's fun.
Speaker 1: Are you worried about the queen.
Speaker 2: Have you heard about Mary Kay lately?
Speaker 1: I tell you you heard of Jaffra products.
Speaker 2: I haven't, and but I did see on Twitter someone
Speaker 2: was saying disgraceful thing about the queen, like someone not
Speaker 2: at all connected to the queen. So I'm like, whatever,
Speaker 2: I didn't dive into that work.
Speaker 1: There was a rumor that she died, and then people
Speaker 1: were confirming that that was actually just a rumor. Then
Speaker 1: people were saying, well, too late, I already think she
Speaker 1: died or something because she has COVID.
Speaker 2: Oh got you, And I'm dumb.
Speaker 1: Talking about Queen Elizabeth.
Speaker 2: I was literally and I think, you know what you
Speaker 2: can tell by looking into my blank eyes thinking of
Speaker 2: Princess Diana, and I'm like, like, they're going to fake
Speaker 2: those graphic photos. I accidentally saw that fateful night in
Speaker 2: the Tunnel.
Speaker 1: Oh the worst.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was the worst, and I remember so many
Speaker 2: people being really upset. She was beloved. But I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know that much about the Queen.
Speaker 1: I don't know that you should watch The Crown. It's
Speaker 1: actually really good.
Speaker 2: I love the Great Okay, same people, same people. No,
Speaker 2: it is the Crown and The Great are the same
Speaker 2: story making groups.
Speaker 1: Oh I thought you meant same country. It's like you're simple.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, I am a twat you know,
Speaker 2: take it, watch it again.
Speaker 4: Oh not sorry if we're from the specific place, they
Speaker 4: hates that word.
Speaker 2: No, That's what was interesting about The Great is there
Speaker 2: it was just English, but they were all in Russia.
Speaker 2: It's just like, let's not make everyone do Russian accents. Well,
Speaker 2: just be able.
Speaker 1: That would be odd. God, that show is good. I've
Speaker 1: talked to I love that ad nauseam about how much
Speaker 1: I love.
Speaker 2: That El Fanning so good.
Speaker 1: She's such a great actress. And those Fanning gals who
Speaker 1: grew up and grew up in front of the camera
Speaker 1: so talented that Fanning.
Speaker 2: Everyone loves a Fanning gal. By the way, have you voted?
Speaker 2: I paid my sag dues, so they sent me fifty
Speaker 2: DVDs and one of them is, uh, you know, there's
Speaker 2: a thing that I have to fill out Nel Fannings
Speaker 2: on it. I'm going to vote best Actress in a
Speaker 2: comedy series.
Speaker 1: She deserves it, she does, She's great, She's doing everything
Speaker 1: plus wearing a gigantic heavy wig that's also hot. And
Speaker 1: gigantic outfit and all of that in that gigantic dress.
Speaker 2: And a painful corset she had. They hurt your ribs.
Speaker 1: That's right. Women really suffer for boutique television.
Speaker 2: And they used to have an ad for it on
Speaker 2: wends Wendy's tabletops. You know those old timey ad. It's
Speaker 2: a cushion, it's a spring that hides under your dress.
Speaker 4: But what is it, Oh, the thing that you sit on. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's a seat, but it's your butt. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 4: no spring loaded bloomers.
Speaker 2: Well there was.
Speaker 1: The bustle was the thing that used to tie to
Speaker 1: the top of your butt, so if you had a
Speaker 1: flat butt, your dress would still stick out.
Speaker 2: But it was made of spring, right.
Speaker 1: Not normally. But I'm sure that those tabletops and the
Speaker 1: old fashioned advertising that was lacquered onto them, because I
Speaker 1: have the same memory. It was all that stuff where
Speaker 1: it's like snake oil that'll carry your ills or whatever.
Speaker 1: Then it's like, here's a bustle that you can also
Speaker 1: use as a seat. It wouldn't be I'm sure it
Speaker 1: wasn't like and I and look, I haven't done my research,
Speaker 1: so I'm really being a twat about this. But yes,
Speaker 1: but I bet you that was like a fat or
Speaker 1: a thing they tried to sell that. People would be like, no,
Speaker 1: woman's going to tie a spring around her waist and
Speaker 1: be like this is great all day long.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'd love those old And by the way,
Speaker 2: anytime we're about to say something where we're not sure
Speaker 2: if we're rid or not, let's have this where twat
Speaker 2: continue to come up. I think it's so specific, I
Speaker 2: don't really know what I'm saying here. So at the
Speaker 2: risk of being a twat.
Speaker 1: I didn't do my research, and I'm being a little
Speaker 1: I need to be a little condescending because it's my personality,
Speaker 1: so guess what it's twat time.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I didn't go to the little library and
Speaker 2: read through some micro fee. But yeah, I love those
Speaker 2: old timey ads. I tried to draw like that all
Speaker 2: the time. Are you unable to walk? Drink this and
Speaker 2: you'll be tap dancing? Or the old ones. Babies love
Speaker 2: the soothing it soothes their teeth. Turned drink seven up
Speaker 2: ads yes with oh yeah that it was coca cola
Speaker 2: because there was actual cocaine in that pour, A rowdy
Speaker 2: powder in that shit.
Speaker 1: A nice pick me up in the afternoon if you
Speaker 1: were going to have your bustle with your spring in
Speaker 1: it and you sit down.
Speaker 2: You know how babies in the afternoons need naps. Keve
Speaker 2: them a little cocaine.
Speaker 1: A little cocaine.
Speaker 2: Baby's ready for gramming? Am is it? At the very least?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 1: I do like because there was no legal limit to
Speaker 1: what kind of fake medicine people can sell back there
Speaker 1: it was, and so right, there was no any any oversight,
Speaker 1: and they used to have and this this is talk
Speaker 1: about not researched. I'm just kind of blabbing now, but
Speaker 1: there were there were the medicine shows where people they
Speaker 1: would drive around and they would land outside your town,
Speaker 1: like say Pioneer Days, and then they'd be like, this
Speaker 1: was the thing. It cures cancer, it cures up, you know, dermatitis,
Speaker 1: it cures everything, you're whatever, and it's just a big
Speaker 1: thing of like olive oil with you know something bad.
Speaker 2: Right. I remember that in so many like Disney Show,
Speaker 2: when my parents would drop me off of the movies
Speaker 2: and there'd be a double feature. It's some puff the
Speaker 2: magic drag. Did that have elixir salesman in it? I
Speaker 2: always thought that was an interesting dragon. Maybe Pete Dragon,
Speaker 2: not Puff the Magic. That's hard to keep. There was
Speaker 2: two dragons I had to keep straight as a.
Speaker 1: Kid in the seventies. There were two major dragons. You
Speaker 1: had to pick a side. You had to pick your
Speaker 1: fucking dragon.
Speaker 2: I was a Pete Dragon. Guy. You need that nauseating song.
Speaker 1: Pete Pete Dragon is the first movie I saw in
Speaker 1: the theater. I have very dim memories of it, but
Speaker 1: I just remember the screen being gigantic, my looking at
Speaker 1: my parents, like, guys, this was a great plan, Like
Speaker 1: I was so into it. And Pete Dragon was the
Speaker 1: one that was It was live action and a cartoon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's not. I mean we thought that cool
Speaker 2: world invented that. No, step aside, there's a new dragon
Speaker 2: from Hanolly.
Speaker 1: That's no, that's puff the Magic.
Speaker 2: Right from the same dragon and Holly a town called
Speaker 2: But yeah, I vividly remember that and that and that
Speaker 2: just the idea of going from town to town and
Speaker 2: tricking people into buying your snake oil. It's so funny.
Speaker 2: But actual advertising used to say things like cigarettes, These
Speaker 2: cigarettes are healthy, they make you live longer. I don't know,
Speaker 2: screw it. Let's say it like a Madman era dudes. Yeah,
Speaker 2: just lying, oh man, all.
Speaker 1: Kinds of well. Also, yeah, like cigarette as you used
Speaker 1: to have doctors in them. That would be like, if
Speaker 1: you're going to smoke, try Carleton, you know whatever.
Speaker 2: Right, Oh, I definitely recall one that said it's the
Speaker 2: kind I use, and it's a doctor. It's like, well,
Speaker 2: if the doctor uses it smokes.
Speaker 1: Also, we just so my dad was in town, and
Speaker 1: so yeah, what you do mostly just sat around and
Speaker 1: watched what I called the movie festival, like a film festival.
Speaker 1: So we started watching all movies with Dennis Farina in them.
Speaker 1: So we watched Get Shorty one night, we watched Out
Speaker 1: of Sight another night, and we watch Sights.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 1: That's such a good movie. But then we started off,
Speaker 1: we kicked it off and this was like, well, the
Speaker 1: first one was Heaven Can Wait, which someone on our
Speaker 1: exactly right staff meeting had recommended, and it is a
Speaker 1: great movie. It holds up perfectly. It's a Buck Henry movie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's such a good movie. But then we went from
Speaker 1: there to Midnight Run, Robert de Niro, Charles Grodin. Yes,
Speaker 1: you've never seen it is the perfect dad movie.
Speaker 2: The more acting class I took in Austin. I had
Speaker 2: to do several scenes from that movie with Eddie.
Speaker 1: Gosling from Midnight Run.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was so fun.
Speaker 1: It's so I got such a good movie. It's written
Speaker 1: so well. But the point my point was is that
Speaker 1: in the movie Midnight Run, and a lot of those movies,
Speaker 1: but especially in mid I Run, they're so much smoking.
Speaker 1: People were constantly smoking, constantly lighting up and throwing the
Speaker 1: cigarette over their shoulder after two puffs, constantly taking cigarettes
Speaker 1: from each other. And it was the eighties, it wasn't
Speaker 1: like it was the fifties or whatever. And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's it went. People smoked like chimneys right up until
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety five when they passed that law.
Speaker 2: Right, and I think it was Also it's it's with acting.
Speaker 2: It's a thing that you can do like a multitasking.
Speaker 2: I've business a little, but sometimes I'll just do a
Speaker 2: thing that isn't part of it, like scratch my elbow
Speaker 2: or do something, so you're not fully focused on what. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so it just you're doing a human thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So it's fact it's easier to read a line if
Speaker 2: you're also making a sandwich, you know, because.
Speaker 1: And the truth of it is, people don't listen to
Speaker 1: each other by sitting their stock still staring at you.
Speaker 1: It's like you're always doing something else. You're rarely actually
Speaker 1: focused when you're when someone's talking to you and you're
Speaker 1: talking back.
Speaker 2: Next time I go on one of these cat food
Speaker 2: commercials or something, I'm just going to light up. I
Speaker 2: got to start nailing it, you know, I gotta get
Speaker 2: my health insurance. That's ironic.
Speaker 1: I would light up, and then I would start zipping
Speaker 1: and unzipping your sweatshirt over and over, almost like you're
Speaker 1: like a little like like you're playing it. And then
Speaker 1: you're just like, this is what real people do. This
Speaker 1: is it's a fidgeting. It's real.
Speaker 2: I do I do fidget Oh I hope that's okay,
Speaker 2: Well it's real. Yeah. My dad would have loved to
Speaker 2: have gone to your film festival. It was four dads
Speaker 2: you just mentioned. Yeah, you're just a Dennis Farina film festival.
Speaker 2: My dad might be the only person on his street
Speaker 2: that would buy tickets to that. He loves Dennis.
Speaker 1: Dennis Farina is And here's the thing. You get to
Speaker 1: see this range because in Get Shorty, he's the biggest asshole. Ever,
Speaker 1: my dad was crying laughing. You know, by the end
Speaker 1: of Get Shorty, his nose is brooked, so it's like insane.
Speaker 1: And then he shows up and out of Sight and
Speaker 1: he's just like the chill dad j Loo's dad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he's real calm and then yeah, and he's also
Speaker 1: a big asshole in run as well. Yes, he can
Speaker 1: do it all, every kind of joy.
Speaker 2: Always. I always expected him to be killing a lot
Speaker 2: of people in something. He looked like scary guy, so
Speaker 2: I really did appreciate him. And out of Sight if
Speaker 2: you haven't seen out of Sight, it's a j Low joint. Man.
Speaker 2: She's good, she really.
Speaker 1: It is the most romantic movie, I truly believe.
Speaker 2: One of our first first ten episodes, we talked about
Speaker 2: them dressing undressing across the room from each other. The tension,
Speaker 2: the Clooney j lo tension.
Speaker 1: As our friendship, Hope calls him the Kloons because he
Speaker 1: did you ever see the movie The Descendants, that Hawaii
Speaker 1: movie where George Clooney's wife is in an accident and
Speaker 1: she's in a coma and he has to like hold
Speaker 1: the family together.
Speaker 2: No, I have not.
Speaker 1: It's actually a great movie. I think I believe it's
Speaker 1: Alexander Payne. I could be wrong, but I think it is.
Speaker 1: And at one point, George Clooney spoiler alert, finds out
Speaker 1: that his wife was having an affair with Matthew Lillard
Speaker 1: and Chip Pope's review of this movie was in what
Speaker 1: world would would you pick Lillard over the Kloons? Never
Speaker 1: gonna happen? And the way he said it so casually,
Speaker 1: and it made me like cry laughing because it's yours
Speaker 1: so right, Like, I can't believe a movie where we're
Speaker 1: supposed to be pretending this man over here is not
Speaker 1: hands down, devastatingly more handsome and appealing than everyone on
Speaker 1: this whole island. Yeah, you can't put George Clooney in
Speaker 1: a movie and try to every man him. You can't
Speaker 1: do it to him. Yeah, it doesn't work.
Speaker 2: Stand him next to the guy that messed up Shaggy.
Speaker 2: And I'm only saying that because I would have been
Speaker 2: so much better. Why gay Scooby Doo. He didn't even
Speaker 2: try and do the voice. He didn't even try. He's like,
Speaker 2: so grow a goatee and just show up. Get out
Speaker 2: of your Lillard No for real? Yeah, I'm sorry. I
Speaker 2: didn't like his Booby Doo?
Speaker 1: Should anybody else wait? Who played?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's the one anyone else wrong from the
Speaker 2: Scooby Doo movie?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 1: Freddy Prince Junior was Fred? And he's not a natural blonde?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Was he? Do?
Speaker 2: Fred's he's sixty four and beefy Fred's on the husky side,
Speaker 2: and he's six he might be six six.
Speaker 1: He barely can get in the van, but his and
Speaker 1: the circumference of his chest is fifty two inches and
Speaker 1: his waist is a petit twenty eight inch.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, he has to get special tailored white sweaters
Speaker 2: as well, get a monogramed special neckerchiefs. Oh yeah, neckerchiefs
Speaker 2: who were chips?
Speaker 1: Oh so seventies? So seventies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've covered our entire childhoods here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've kind of done it. And look we're right
Speaker 1: on the one hour mark. Chris nailed this ship.
Speaker 2: I knew that it was time to look in a
Speaker 2: few seconds.
Speaker 1: Do you have any other topic that you want to
Speaker 1: over on this one of our greatest and sothist episodes.
Speaker 2: I believe that this comes out because I asked last time,
Speaker 2: I am going to be in San Francisco, California, California,
Speaker 2: the Bay Area. You might be familiar with growing up
Speaker 2: very close to this city. This club, it's called Cheaper
Speaker 2: Than Therapy. So just go to my website. I can't
Speaker 2: remember the address, but it is four nights, seventeenth to
Speaker 2: the twentieth what area of San Francisco. It's right in
Speaker 2: the mix of it, right in the thick of it.
Speaker 2: Right you can go outside and get a Mission burrito,
Speaker 2: and so maybe it's the Mission District.
Speaker 1: I'm not Yeah, that would make sense, but yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Think it might be. But it's called Cheaper than Therapy.
Speaker 2: You know, be on my website. That's all great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think is it a your headlining or
Speaker 1: is it like a five person show or is it like.
Speaker 2: It's just the deal me and hopefully some local funny
Speaker 2: Bay area comics. I actually will call John, the nice
Speaker 2: guy that books it, and see what. But I've done
Speaker 2: it a few times and.
Speaker 1: It's great, great room.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I loved it. At last time, there was no
Speaker 2: microphone and that made me nervous at first, but then
Speaker 2: it felt like I was stage performing. I've talked about
Speaker 2: this before too, but I was that was the show
Speaker 2: where I had to learn to like gesticulate and use
Speaker 2: my diaphragm and the theatery during stand up, and I
Speaker 2: walked away feeling like I was better at stand up
Speaker 2: because I wasn't just hiding behind a microphone like I.
Speaker 2: That's right, I come back to doing.
Speaker 3: But they now have a microphone and a hell of
Speaker 3: a sound system cheaper than therapy. San Francisco, California, right
Speaker 3: some dates of twentieth You know, people in.
Speaker 1: San Francisco are really comedically discerning, at least they were
Speaker 1: forty nine years ago when I lived there. That's where
Speaker 1: all the great people who were really like I want
Speaker 1: to be good at stand up comedy. And I feel
Speaker 1: like that has not changed the young people coming up
Speaker 1: that they're they're discerning, they're passionate, they're into it. And
Speaker 1: so if you live in the Bay Area, go see
Speaker 1: Chris Fairbanks, because you're not just going to see a
Speaker 1: comic who is a master headliner and one of the
Speaker 1: funniest live performers there is, but you're going to see
Speaker 1: people open for him that are great and either up
Speaker 1: and comers or like great on their own.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as is, last time I met a bunch of
Speaker 2: great comics that I had never heard of. And it's
Speaker 2: a different scene than hanging out at the punchline or
Speaker 2: oh yeah. It was like kind of an underground type scene.
Speaker 2: And I can do whatever I want.
Speaker 1: It's the greatest. That's very cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it'll be it'll be really fun. And then I'm
Speaker 2: in West West Bend near Milwaukee in April. That's all
Speaker 2: I got. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's too far out.
Speaker 2: That's too that's too far out.
Speaker 1: Here's my plug. I'm definitely going to wash my hair tomorrow.
Speaker 1: And that is my promise to you, Chris, you can
Speaker 1: and all of them.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of pressure to wash our hairs, or
Speaker 2: at least shampoo it too much. Just get it wet
Speaker 2: and put some conditioner in.
Speaker 1: No, I can't.
Speaker 2: I have to.
Speaker 1: My hair's too greasy. It'll it'll go all crazy.
Speaker 2: Say I'm my dry scalp boy. I don't get oily.
Speaker 2: I don't get even combination, just dry and flake.
Speaker 1: Is it dry as a bone?
Speaker 2: Oh god, it's it's just like the desert. I looked
Speaker 2: last time I uh was combing my hair, I saw
Speaker 2: tumbleweed roll by on it. Oh no, And then a little,
Speaker 2: a little tiny went over a little a little dollhouse,
Speaker 2: cowscol God. We love miniatures on this program.
Speaker 1: We support miniatures. If you haven't seen the PBS series
Speaker 1: The Miniaturist, it's so good. It takes place in somewhere
Speaker 1: in uh might be lapland might be Norway. Did you
Speaker 1: watch the Miniaturists series?
Speaker 2: How it's you know, switch Bodies? What are my Friends said?
Speaker 2: And you're Judge Rhinold kind of freaking Friday.
Speaker 1: This is my recommend recommendation to you if you're if
Speaker 1: you have pe access to the PBS streaming because they
Speaker 1: have good ship on there. And one of the series
Speaker 1: is called The Miniaturist and it's Anna Taylor Joy, who
Speaker 1: you know from The Queen's Gambit, the chest Netflix series.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 1: She's great. She was also an Emma and she this
Speaker 1: is one of her first things and she plays this
Speaker 1: girl well. You just have to see its fourteen or
Speaker 1: fifteen hundreds Flanders or something some Scandinavian country. And I
Speaker 1: don't know them because I don't do research, because you're twat.
Speaker 2: I I'll see if I have PBS, it's probably up
Speaker 2: in the smart channels next to Arts and Entertainment. That's right,
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't know. If I have those, I'm
Speaker 2: going to I believe it.
Speaker 1: It's called The Miniaturist and that and miniatures are a
Speaker 1: part of the plot, and it's very fascinating.
Speaker 2: I loved it because they kind of in hereditary. They
Speaker 2: they blew it with the miniatures being part of the plot.
Speaker 2: It was just a side thing, you know.
Speaker 1: I'm sure they had to cut. They had to cut
Speaker 1: some of the greater miniatureist scenes because they had to
Speaker 1: replace them with an old lady being covered in coins
Speaker 1: and worshiping the devil.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was. Yeah, that's a scary movie. I
Speaker 2: liked it. But in the end they're like, surprise, it's
Speaker 2: just the devil. I'm like, wait, I thought Tony Collette
Speaker 2: was like dictating things with her miniature stuff.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, we should look that up and
Speaker 1: see if there was some kind of a I did.
Speaker 1: I think there was a directional change?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because why is yeah, why did she then make
Speaker 2: a tiny little decapitated head of her daughter when that
Speaker 2: just had it's like uh, oh parallels, right?
Speaker 1: Did she do it after?
Speaker 2: Even in the beginning, there's like a miniature room and
Speaker 2: they zoom in and it turns into the teenage boys room.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, it's all set up for this miniature world.
Speaker 2: Has something to do with this, this evil spirit world.
Speaker 1: But maybe that's what they meant, and it was that
Speaker 1: she somehow had something to do with the fact that
Speaker 1: the girl's girl was beheaded.
Speaker 2: Maybe because she got real weird in the end, especially
Speaker 2: when she saw her own head off. Okay, she is sorry.
Speaker 1: Every Boilertown when she crawled up the wall and was
Speaker 1: up on the ceiling.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's scary just thinking about it's so zip zip
Speaker 2: zip that movie. Oh yeah, I'm going to watch it
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well that was fun. That was a
Speaker 1: great one.
Speaker 2: Yep, we did it again. Have by doing it. You've
Speaker 2: been listening. Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: D y n A.
Speaker 2: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Produced by Casey O'Brien, mixed by Ryo Boun.
Speaker 5: Theme song by Karen Kilgara, art work by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 5: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 5: podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 1: For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia dot com.
Speaker 2: Listen, subscribe, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher,
Speaker 2: or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you, and you're
Speaker 2: welcome Mopps