Speaker 1: Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: So I happen to be perusing WHOOPI Goldberg's Internet and
Speaker 1: I found this and I said, you know what, let
Speaker 1: me share this with my folks because somebody needs to
Speaker 1: hear this. I was somebody, and maybe you're somebody too.
Speaker 1: It says things you may need to hear this week.
Speaker 1: Sometimes what didn't work out for you really worked out
Speaker 1: for you. Seeking reassurance from yourself is just as valid
Speaker 1: as it is from others. You are not behind, but
Speaker 1: exactly where you need to be. Have confidence that today
Speaker 1: will be another successful day. That dream was planted in
Speaker 1: your heart for a reason. And this is from an
Speaker 1: account on Instagram called the Mayfair Group and I like it.
Speaker 1: I like it a lot, and I usually don't do this,
Speaker 1: but go follow them because got some good stuff going
Speaker 1: on over there. Let's go ahead and get this party started,
Speaker 1: because I can promise you it is going to be
Speaker 1: a party. I can't see the patter that. Okay, what's up, y'all?
Speaker 1: Welcome to hand Me my Purse Podcast. I am none
Speaker 1: other than the incomparable me Me Walker, and I will
Speaker 1: be here forever host each and every single time. I
Speaker 1: promise each and every single time you tune into this podcast.
Speaker 1: So go ahead and get comfortable. Get yourself a glass
Speaker 1: of your favorite beverage, whether that's alkaline water, some red
Speaker 1: kool aid, a hot cup of tea with honey or Hennessy.
Speaker 1: Go light yourself a candle, some incense, or burn some sage,
Speaker 1: and just get ready to chill out and have a
Speaker 1: good time. What's up, friends, again, It's Mimi resident Auntie Supreme. Here,
Speaker 1: hand me my purse, and today I am actually sipping
Speaker 1: on some peppermint probiotic tea from a brand called Traditional Medicinals,
Speaker 1: and some organic haybiscuits or high biscuits however you want
Speaker 1: to say, tea. And I added a full dropper of
Speaker 1: this tincture that I like to drink called glucose bitters.
Speaker 1: Are supposed to help with your hormones. It's good for
Speaker 1: women who have pcos like me. Shout out to all
Speaker 1: the girlies that have pcos. This concoction is good for
Speaker 1: me to sip on because I want to make sure
Speaker 1: that my tummy doesn't act a damn fool tonight and tomorrow.
Speaker 1: After the meal that I had for dinner, which was
Speaker 1: very heavy. I was doing a little emotional eating this
Speaker 1: evening because today and I had two drinks because today
Speaker 1: was a complete and utter royal clusterfuck at work. Okay,
Speaker 1: it was bad. Stick to the game plan? What is
Speaker 1: the game plan? Is the real question? What is the
Speaker 1: game plan in education in America? What the fuck is
Speaker 1: going on in schools? Okay, I don't know, and I'm
Speaker 1: there every day. Actually I do know. I'm gonna not
Speaker 1: be sticking to the game plan right now. All I
Speaker 1: can say is, it's the end of the school year.
Speaker 1: Next year when school starts. Parents, administrators, school district government,
Speaker 1: get your fucking act together. Please. The people are tired, Okay, tired,
Speaker 1: And it's clear that it's the end of the school year.
Speaker 1: It's upon us. But clearly students and their parents just
Speaker 1: don't give two fucks about that because they're still acting
Speaker 1: like completing up balls. And I gotta say that something
Speaker 1: is going to have to drastically change in education, particularly
Speaker 1: in urban environments or environments that are stricken with poverty,
Speaker 1: or there will be hell to pay. There's already hell
Speaker 1: to pay, and the staff members are definitely paying the hell.
Speaker 1: But something has to change. And however, I can help
Speaker 1: to facilitate that change. I'm open to doing that, but
Speaker 1: I gotta say something has to fucking give because these
Speaker 1: kids and their parents got some soul searching to do it,
Speaker 1: and I mean that shit. Anyway, What are y'all sipping
Speaker 1: on today? Is it anything delicious? I can't really say
Speaker 1: that my tea is really delicious because I'm not drinking
Speaker 1: it to taste good. I'm drinking it for its medicinal properties,
Speaker 1: which y'all drinking anything good? You've got any suggestions? I
Speaker 1: saw this thing that I want to try out. It's
Speaker 1: like a a fake me out alcoholic beverage. I gotta
Speaker 1: find it. I think it might be called Heo or Neil,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I saw it on the instagrams. I'm
Speaker 1: really excited to try it out. But do y'all have
Speaker 1: any suggests or any new things to drink? Because summertime
Speaker 1: is here and SIS is ready to have a good time.
Speaker 1: So friends and ken for the jam today. I chose
Speaker 1: a song from Erica Badu's album Let me see what
Speaker 1: the name of this album is? This album I want
Speaker 1: to say this New America Part two, Return of the ANC.
Speaker 1: It is number five. It's called gone Baby, Don't be Long.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's a groove, it's a bop. And
Speaker 1: when I went to see Erkabadu last summer in DC,
Speaker 1: she sang a lot of songs. Of course, she sang
Speaker 1: all her classics from like the first two albums. But
Speaker 1: I was really appreciative that she sang a lot of
Speaker 1: the songs that I have forgotten that I loved so much.
Speaker 1: And I chose this song simply because one is a bop,
Speaker 1: but two because of the title. Because this is the
Speaker 1: season four finale, this is the closing of season four.
Speaker 1: I have pumped out forty five fucking episodes, uh in
Speaker 1: this season. And I gotta say, I'm proud of myself.
Speaker 1: I ain't even gonna front on you today. I am
Speaker 1: very proud of myself.
Speaker 2: I want to thank me for believing in me.
Speaker 1: I want to thank me for doing.
Speaker 2: All this hard work, hard work. I want to thank
Speaker 2: me for having no days off, none. I want to
Speaker 2: thank me for for never quitting never. I want to
Speaker 2: thank me for always being a giver.
Speaker 1: It's what I do. Okay. So I chose this song,
Speaker 1: like I said, because I love the way it sounds
Speaker 1: like Erica Bad, like when She's in her bag. She's
Speaker 1: in her bag, and this song is number five. It's
Speaker 1: from the album New America Part two, Return of the Unk,
Speaker 1: and the covers like purple and she's like a robot
Speaker 1: with flowers coming out of her head with a purple sky,
Speaker 1: and you know it's real Erica by do it. It
Speaker 1: came out in twenty ten, and I was glad that
Speaker 1: I was reminded of this song when I went to
Speaker 1: see her last year in DC with Yasin Bay also
Speaker 1: known formerly known as most Staff. But anyway, check it out.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play a little bit of it for you,
Speaker 1: and then we are going to go ahead and go
Speaker 1: into the episode. Of course, there's gonna be a link
Speaker 1: to the song in the show notes, because that's what
Speaker 1: the fuck I do every time for your listening and
Speaker 1: viewing pleasure. So check it out so you can listen
Speaker 1: to the whole song, and don't worry because I'm gone, baby,
Speaker 1: But I won't be too long when I come back
Speaker 1: for season five, and I can't believe that it will
Speaker 1: be time for season five. H I don't know exactly
Speaker 1: when I'm gonna come back. It ain't gonna be too long,
Speaker 1: because I said I'm gone, baby, but you know it
Speaker 1: won't be too long. I ain't gonna be out here
Speaker 1: for no six months, not giving y'all no juice, but
Speaker 1: I need to break Mama's tired. If you can't tell already,
Speaker 1: Mother is exhausted, Okay, completely exhausted. So get into the song.
Speaker 1: Then we're going what is that? What was that? What
Speaker 1: was that? Mem the hell? Get into the swng? Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into the sowng anyway, get into the
Speaker 1: song and then we're gonna come back here and go
Speaker 1: ahead and get to this conversation. Okay, Okay, enjoy.
Speaker 3: Fazl and both Bassy and I loved You.
Speaker 1: Where you Go?
Speaker 3: And id lady watch no, no, you're got to get
Speaker 3: to us a long joy friends and kN So we
Speaker 3: have come to the end of season four, and that
Speaker 3: is pretty fucking amazing.
Speaker 1: I gotta say, like, that's that's that's Stern season four. Okay.
Speaker 1: On June thirteenth of two, twenty twenty three, which was
Speaker 1: last year. If you're listening to this in real time,
Speaker 1: I released my very first podcast episode with the backing
Speaker 1: of the mega network iHeartMedia or iHeart Podcasts, Right and
Speaker 1: what a fucking blessing. This has been for me, Like
Speaker 1: since then, it has been a serious hell of a ride,
Speaker 1: Like I can't even lie. The blessings just poured out
Speaker 1: like like it was just I can't even explain it.
Speaker 1: Like as soon as I was launched. As soon as
Speaker 1: I launched, I was blessed with an opportunity that many,
Speaker 1: especially independent podcasters on iHeart Podcasts, are not blessed with, uh,
Speaker 1: and that was that I got to be in conversation
Speaker 1: and be interviewed by the president of iHeart Podcasts himself.
Speaker 1: His name is Will Pearson for their podcast where I
Speaker 1: Podcasts or a Heart Media's podcasts, and it's called Conversations.
Speaker 1: And I think the episode came out like in August
Speaker 1: of August of twenty twenty three, so if you look
Speaker 1: it up, actually I'll link it so that you can
Speaker 1: check it out. But it was really amazing. He was really,
Speaker 1: really a nice guy, and I could not believe it.
Speaker 1: I almost started crying during the show because I was like, God,
Speaker 1: this is next level amazing to be awarded the opportunity
Speaker 1: to be on such a major network, but also to
Speaker 1: have the freaking president and the president of I Heard
Speaker 1: Podcasts interview me like, oo, me a whole me, Yes,
Speaker 1: a whole me, because I deserve it and I'm worthy
Speaker 1: of that, and so God blessed me with that. And
Speaker 1: I also got to go visit the iHeart Studios in
Speaker 1: New York City, New York City, Sorry to record actually
Speaker 1: one of my favorite series of season four, and that
Speaker 1: was the series about Sweet Daddy Grace, which is I
Speaker 1: want to say, episode seventy four, seventy five, seventy six
Speaker 1: with Marcy Depina, who is an amazing human being, just dope,
Speaker 1: just all around fucking dope human being. But the episodes
Speaker 1: were great, the series was great, and I got to
Speaker 1: record them in the Red Studio. Like y'all don't really
Speaker 1: know what that means, but it's big shit. So I
Speaker 1: got to record in the Red Studio. Was so dope.
Speaker 1: It felt like I was supposed to be there. It
Speaker 1: felt like breathing. And I pray that God awards me
Speaker 1: the opportunity to visit again and record there again. And
Speaker 1: also another thing that I don't take for granted is
Speaker 1: all of the completely amazing interviews that I have shared
Speaker 1: with you guys this season, in the episodes that I
Speaker 1: recorded with myself because don't get it fucked up episodes.
Speaker 1: The solo episodes they hit and they don't miss. But
Speaker 1: the me, the solo episodes are just like me talking
Speaker 1: to you, right, But when I'm able to talk to
Speaker 1: other people and share it with you, it's really amazing
Speaker 1: with me. And I'm in awe, like I said, of
Speaker 1: all of the magic that was created in the conversations
Speaker 1: that I've had with folks on the show this season. Also,
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about some of the lessons I've learned.
Speaker 1: I'm going to share some of the journey over the
Speaker 1: last year with y'all, the stress, the grief, the confusion,
Speaker 1: the loneliness, the greatness, the wonder and yes, the wonder
Speaker 1: because there are moments that I could have never would
Speaker 1: have imagined, that I could just never would have dreamed of,
Speaker 1: just so many awesome things. I'm currently in a strange space,
Speaker 1: you know, of uncertainty, and you guys know, that's like
Speaker 1: a space that I tend to navigate tiptoe that my
Speaker 1: therapist really supports me in working through uncertainty. And so
Speaker 1: I'm in a spirit of uncertainty or in a space
Speaker 1: of uncertainty now about the future of handing my purse
Speaker 1: as it pertains to iHeartMedia and iHeart podcasts. But one
Speaker 1: thing that is constant and that I'm fundamentally certain of,
Speaker 1: and that is that I have the most amazing audience
Speaker 1: of listeners on this planet. Planet Earth has never seen
Speaker 1: a better and when I say better, I mean, what
Speaker 1: the fuck I said, a better bunch of human beings
Speaker 1: and aliens. If there are people listening outside of Planet
Speaker 1: Earth or aliens on Planet Earth, okay, listening to my show,
Speaker 1: or in the galaxy, because, like I said, somewhere on
Speaker 1: Venus or Saturn or Mars or Mercury, particularly Mercury, because
Speaker 1: Mercury is all about communication, somebody could be listening or
Speaker 1: something could be listening, and I kind of think that
Speaker 1: would be cool. And I know you are probably judging
Speaker 1: me and think that I'm a weirdo, but I don't care,
Speaker 1: because other life forms and other creatures and other things
Speaker 1: they deserve to listen to Hanimy my pursue, Okay stuff. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I just want to say that I'm really really, really
Speaker 1: really really grateful for all of you that do listen
Speaker 1: to me run my mouth every week. Y'all. Listen when
Speaker 1: I'm running my mouth, just talking to y'all as if
Speaker 1: we were sitting at a table eating together and just
Speaker 1: having a good time. And y'all listen when I have
Speaker 1: folks on to talk about their lived experiences and you know,
Speaker 1: folks who just come to share their story with us.
Speaker 1: One thing about my friends and can is that y'all
Speaker 1: gonna be there. And for that, I say thank you again,
Speaker 1: so very much. Every single week. I'm humbled by your support.
Speaker 1: I'm humbled by your consistency, and I'm being so sincere
Speaker 1: as Frederick Entertainer said, I'm so sincere. I'm so sincere
Speaker 1: your support and your encouragement. And like I said, your consistency,
Speaker 1: because consistency is important, humbles me and it brings me
Speaker 1: to tears on a regular basis, Like you have no idea.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I drop a few tears because I'm like, these
Speaker 1: motherfuckers keep coming back to listen to me. And sometimes
Speaker 1: I can't even believe that I'm four years in and
Speaker 1: I cannot believe how blessed I am. I'm blessed, that's
Speaker 1: what it is. It's not luck, because God doesn't really
Speaker 1: deal in luck, you know, That's not how That's not
Speaker 1: what I believe that's not my belief. I just believe
Speaker 1: that I am blessed and that God favors me, and
Speaker 1: I'm really grateful for that. And I do understand that
Speaker 1: hard work pays off, and every single time hard work
Speaker 1: is going to pay off. As long as I work hard,
Speaker 1: I will reap the harvest for what I have sown.
Speaker 1: And I'm grateful that I have people in my life
Speaker 1: that consistently remind me of the hard work that I've
Speaker 1: put in over the last five years. And this moment,
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you to my cousin Randall,
Speaker 1: because I'm about to cry or get it together. Girl.
Speaker 1: Sometimes when I go through like bouts of self doubt,
Speaker 1: I always call him because he will always remind me
Speaker 1: that no matter what, no matter what, I earned all
Speaker 1: of these blessings, all of this favor, I've worked really
Speaker 1: hard and he was there to watch me grind this
Speaker 1: shit out before an iHeart, before anything, he was there.
Speaker 1: And I just want to say thank you to my
Speaker 1: cousin Randall for having my back and always reminded me, like, motherfucker,
Speaker 1: you earned this shit. You worked hard, man. He always says,
Speaker 1: manifest it is great, and you know it's great. That
Speaker 1: you say that you manifest things, but no, you fucking
Speaker 1: worked your ass off to get where you are. And
Speaker 1: he's right, and I need that reminder sometimes, So shout
Speaker 1: out to my cousin Randall. Now I want to play
Speaker 1: something for you guys. This is a recording before I
Speaker 1: even get into the journey. This is a recording that
Speaker 1: one of you guys actually one of my friends, and
Speaker 1: can shout out to my fucking friends and can that
Speaker 1: one of you guys sent to me. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just play it for you first, So go ahead and
Speaker 1: come on, let's listen up and get into this real
Speaker 1: quick large takeaway here.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Thank you for being you.
Speaker 3: I really appreciate you.
Speaker 4: Thank you for creating a space where you can share
Speaker 4: all of you with all of us. Because there have
Speaker 4: been a few instances where your messages and your podcast,
Speaker 4: whether it's from you directly, a book, you're sharing, a song,
Speaker 4: you're sharing a guest on whatever, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: all of that has helped whatever I was experiencing in
Speaker 4: that moment. Because I do believe in intentions and diffinity
Speaker 4: of the universe. I believe in all of that. I
Speaker 4: believe that I am brought to your podcast and other
Speaker 4: things when I need them. And there have been a
Speaker 4: lot of times where I've been experiencing something on the
Speaker 4: inside and I put on your show and it's been
Speaker 4: just a message there to help me pull through whatever
Speaker 4: I'm going through. So I would like to say thank
Speaker 4: you for that.
Speaker 1: That is my message this morning.
Speaker 4: I hope you have a wonderful day.
Speaker 1: I'm not even go in front. When I receive this,
Speaker 1: I cried like a baby, like snot cry because nobody.
Speaker 1: I won't say nobody, but like nobody really knows how
Speaker 1: difficult it is. And I am going to say nobody
Speaker 1: how difficult it is sometimes for me to be so
Speaker 1: vulnerable to share so much of myself. I love saying myself.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is? Do I need a
Speaker 1: speech freaking therapist? What the hell y'all know what's coming anyway?
Speaker 1: To share so much of myself without the fear of
Speaker 1: being judged, without guilt or feeling shame, And sometimes I
Speaker 1: do feel shame, and just to expose so much of
Speaker 1: who I am every week, all the while still trying
Speaker 1: to navigate my own shit because real life is happening
Speaker 1: outside of this microphone in this studio if you call
Speaker 1: it that, or this booth. Real life is happening for me,
Speaker 1: and you guys know that because I talk about it.
Speaker 1: And so for me to navigate my own shit and
Speaker 1: deal with my own healing journey, deal with grief, deal
Speaker 1: with joy, deal with confusion, deal with loneliness, not so
Speaker 1: almost lonliness, loneliness when I loneliness within my grief. You know,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's hard, and for some people it's really easy
Speaker 1: just to pretend that you're somebody else or to pretend
Speaker 1: that everything is great, And it's sometimes really hard for
Speaker 1: me to just come before you really raw the way
Speaker 1: that I do, and just not front and not pretend
Speaker 1: that shit is sweet, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: in person with people. You know, people are notorious for saying, oh,
Speaker 1: how are you? Oh I'm fine. I don't I'm fine
Speaker 1: y'all with y'all, like I keep the shit a buck.
Speaker 1: I try to be as honest as possible with you guys,
Speaker 1: and just be myself, my authentic self, my most authentic self,
Speaker 1: and be really raw and naked if you will, with
Speaker 1: you guys, because I want you to understand that I
Speaker 1: am coming before you as myself and not pretending to
Speaker 1: be somebody else, which a lot of times, I'm going
Speaker 1: to say it a lot of times on when it
Speaker 1: comes to media, so on social media, the television, television shows,
Speaker 1: reality shows, podcasts, radio shows, people are pretending to be
Speaker 1: other people and it fundamentally goes against everything that I
Speaker 1: believe in to do that. So I really want to
Speaker 1: come before you just as myself. It's really important for
Speaker 1: me to do that. And so this message really made
Speaker 1: me feel seen, and it made me feel like the
Speaker 1: work that I do here with handing my purse for
Speaker 1: y'all and for me because please believe, this fills me up.
Speaker 1: It fills my cup. So if it fills your cup up,
Speaker 1: I'm that is a blessing for me as well a
Speaker 1: blessing as a blessing for you. But it fills me
Speaker 1: up to do this work, and it makes me feel
Speaker 1: like the work that I do is steeps and purpose,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Sometimes I listen to this
Speaker 1: message and it helps me to redirect my thoughts, my
Speaker 1: negative thoughts and my negative self talk. It helps me
Speaker 1: to redirect self doubt that I have Sometimes, Oh sis
Speaker 1: is getting a little wet eyes and it's and it's
Speaker 1: really wonderful for me that one of you thought enough
Speaker 1: of me to share this with me. And I open
Speaker 1: the door for you guys to please send me messages
Speaker 1: like this, because like they really warm my heart. And
Speaker 1: so I'm not saying that you need to or you
Speaker 1: have to. Clearly I'm not the boss of you, but
Speaker 1: if you are ever brought to a space where you
Speaker 1: feel like you know what, let me just share. I
Speaker 1: just I think that you should share that kind of
Speaker 1: stuff with people all the time. People should know that
Speaker 1: the impact that they have on your life and when
Speaker 1: you appreciate them, when you are grateful for them. So
Speaker 1: I just want to say shout out to you friend,
Speaker 1: my friend and Ken that sent me this message. It
Speaker 1: was I'm really really grateful, it was really kind. You
Speaker 1: didn't have to do it. But look I'm over here
Speaker 1: crying just talking about it because it has been a
Speaker 1: real blessing for me, especially, it has really been a
Speaker 1: blessing for me over the past probably four months. So
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so grateful for you.
Speaker 1: Shut out to my friends again. And also I just
Speaker 1: want to say that it helps to remind me of
Speaker 1: my why. It reminds me me of why I do this.
Speaker 1: It ruins me why I do it, Okay, because sometimes
Speaker 1: I get so caught up and I talk about this
Speaker 1: all the time, caught up an outcome that I lose
Speaker 1: sight of why I do this work. And I just
Speaker 1: am so grateful that you guys send me the messages
Speaker 1: that you do, whether it's a voice message, whether it's
Speaker 1: a text message, whether it's an email or a message
Speaker 1: on Instagram or Facebook. I'm just grateful, And please don't stop,
Speaker 1: please and continue to share that with me, because like
Speaker 1: I said, it really fills me up. Shout out to
Speaker 1: my friends and ken y'all are the fucking best. Now,
Speaker 1: let us take a little journey into uh season four
Speaker 1: of Handing My Purse. We're gonna talk about the challenges,
Speaker 1: the triumphs, the lessons, the triumphs, the lessons, the joy
Speaker 1: and we're gonna start from like when I had to
Speaker 1: plan and prepare for the launch of my very first
Speaker 1: episode with iHeartMedia or IET Podcasts. So just as I
Speaker 1: was preparing and lining up all the pieces to launch
Speaker 1: Handing my Purse on iHeart, because there's a lot of
Speaker 1: fucking work that goes into the preparation for the launch
Speaker 1: of a show on a major network. There's so many
Speaker 1: meetings and things that you got to get lined up
Speaker 1: and just hell the shit to prepare for. So right
Speaker 1: before my producers and I really started to get down
Speaker 1: in the delta with the hardcore preparation for my launch.
Speaker 1: As you guys know, my grandfather, my grandfather, Well, that
Speaker 1: was before the launch of Handing My Purse. Period. That's
Speaker 1: so fucking ironic, hmm. I never thought about that. Right
Speaker 1: before I launched Handing My Purse. Period in January of
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, my grandfather passed away and I launched Hammy
Speaker 1: My Purse. The trailer came out in March March first
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty, and I officially launched the podcast on
Speaker 1: April first of twenty twenty. And before I launched on iHeart,
Speaker 1: my grandmother passed away. Interesting anyway, my grandmother was my
Speaker 1: number one stunner, my ride to die. How ironic I
Speaker 1: would say that, Oh Lord, she died. My favorite person
Speaker 1: on the planet, the whole entire planet died, and God
Speaker 1: said it was time for her to return to Him.
Speaker 1: And there was in the midst of a full fledged celebration,
Speaker 1: or in full fledged celebratory mode when boom, my life
Speaker 1: was just flipped up the fuck side down on my head.
Speaker 1: And in the words of KRS one and his song
Speaker 1: loves Gonna Get You, I wasn't gonna mention the song,
Speaker 1: but y'all don't know it well, some of y'all don't
Speaker 1: know it cares when his song called love was gonna
Speaker 1: catch in. When I was a little girl, I used
Speaker 1: to always say this line, now, tell me what the
Speaker 1: fuck am I supposed to do? Not in front of adults.
Speaker 1: I would say it when I was alone. And that's
Speaker 1: how I felt because life had just flipped upside down.
Speaker 1: It had flipped me over a thousand times on my hand.
Speaker 1: And so my contract stated a contract with iHeart stated
Speaker 1: that I was supposed to put out an episode every week.
Speaker 1: So every Tuesday, actually, I was to put out a
Speaker 1: new episode. Now, if you've been around here in a
Speaker 1: part of this community before I joined the iHeart Realm,
Speaker 1: then you know that Henmy My Purse was released on
Speaker 1: the first and the fifteenth of each month, and that
Speaker 1: was a part of the original strategic plan that it
Speaker 1: would be released on those days. Specifically, as it pertains
Speaker 1: to black culture, it was a thing and clearly the
Speaker 1: first and the fifteenth. That's only two times month though, right,
Speaker 1: So that means that means that my output would double
Speaker 1: because I would have to put out an episode every week.
Speaker 1: Typically there's four sometimes five weeks in a month, or
Speaker 1: five four to five tuesdays in a month. That means
Speaker 1: that it doubled and sometimes double and a half. Right,
Speaker 1: So my grandmother passes away and I lose the closest
Speaker 1: person to me in the entire universe. Then from February
Speaker 1: to June, I went on maybe one to two sometimes
Speaker 1: two vacations every month. February I went to Seattle. March
Speaker 1: I didn't go anywhere because that's when the meetings with
Speaker 1: my producers really started to get heavy. April I went
Speaker 1: to Dubai and Atlanta, and then the the awesome excuse me,
Speaker 1: are someome? Sometimes I'm just like, girl, what the fuck
Speaker 1: do you be saying? The aresome part, Sorry, stick to
Speaker 1: the game plan. The fantastic part I'll say about going
Speaker 1: to Atlanta in April of last years that I got
Speaker 1: to meet my producers before the show even launched. So
Speaker 1: that was really amazing because I got to meet Evan
Speaker 1: and Taylor. Evan just happened to be because Evan's up
Speaker 1: here with me in the north and Taylor is in
Speaker 1: the south. So it was cool because Evan just happened
Speaker 1: to be coming to Atlanta or that area while I
Speaker 1: was there, and I was like, this is fucking awesome,
Speaker 1: let's get together. So we got to meet and it
Speaker 1: was great, and I think that that was just pretty dope.
Speaker 1: I think that before we got to launch the show,
Speaker 1: us being able to actually meet in person helped to
Speaker 1: shape our relationship for the better. And I love them.
Speaker 1: I love those dudes. They're my guys. Okay. Anyway, So
Speaker 1: April Dubai in Atlanta. May I went to Mexico and
Speaker 1: I went to Paris to see Beyonce for the Renaissance
Speaker 1: tour and that was some life changing joy. It was great.
Speaker 1: I needed that period. June I went to Texas to
Speaker 1: see one of my former cheerleader graduate after joining the
Speaker 1: Air Force, and that was such a beautiful thing to
Speaker 1: see her moving forward and just doing great things in
Speaker 1: her life. Shout out to you, Tamaya. Shout out to Tamaya, Takaya,
Speaker 1: Donora Ambryono. Because I can't mention one and not mention
Speaker 1: all of them. So anyway, Sis was living Lavida wonderful. Right,
Speaker 1: So I'm traveling, I'm having a good time. My grandmother died,
Speaker 1: But you know what, I'm gonna just be moving around.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shake around. I'm gonna go around. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go to Europe. I'm gonna go to Mexico. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go to cross the country. I'm gonna go down south.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just do. I'm gonna do my motherfucking thing.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm gonna do. I'm telling you, I was
Speaker 1: living Levita, joyful. I had an amazing time trapesing all
Speaker 1: throughout the streets of planet Earth. Traveling was giving me
Speaker 1: exactly what I needed, and my Wanderluss was in full
Speaker 1: fucking effect. However, unbeat knows to me, I was running.
Speaker 1: I was running like fucking Jackie Joiner Kursy running. I
Speaker 1: was usin boat running. I was running, running running from grief.
Speaker 1: I was running from loss. I was running from the
Speaker 1: reality of my life, which is that my number one
Speaker 1: person is no longer here in the physical realm. My
Speaker 1: grandmother was dead. It wasn't right. Okay, stop, That's what
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell time. Stop. Okay, stop. And that
Speaker 1: was and it still is a whole fucking lot for
Speaker 1: me to process. I'm still processing it. And now I'm
Speaker 1: a year and a half into it and I'm still
Speaker 1: processing it. And at that time, I was processing it
Speaker 1: all without the support of my therapist because she was
Speaker 1: dealing with her own health stuff. And when I tell
Speaker 1: you life be life, and I'm not fucking playing when
Speaker 1: I tell you all that, like life be life in
Speaker 1: the fuck out of people, and it just happened to
Speaker 1: be life and the fuck out of me at that time.
Speaker 1: And it don't wait. Life ain't waiting for perfect time,
Speaker 1: and life gonna do what it's gonna do. And I'm
Speaker 1: kind of setting the story up for y'all. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get y'all into this so y'all can get ready
Speaker 1: for it. I want y'all to get into it, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying exactly. So fast forward to June thirteenth,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. Now it's go time. It's go time.
Speaker 1: I can't be running no more, right, I gotta be still.
Speaker 1: I gotta sit my ass down because my output has
Speaker 1: to double, so I really have to get focused. The
Speaker 1: good thing is that it's summer break, so I can
Speaker 1: kind of get my head in the game and be
Speaker 1: present because I have to be present because my output
Speaker 1: has to double. I really want you guys to understand
Speaker 1: that whatever it is you do in your work, right,
Speaker 1: let's say that you have to complete something twice a month,
Speaker 1: imagine having to have that double. Or let's say you
Speaker 1: complete something five times a month. Imagine having to double
Speaker 1: that and complete it ten times a month. It was
Speaker 1: a lot because in addition to that, I do have
Speaker 1: a full time job, right, I have a life, and
Speaker 1: grief was taking up a large amount of my life
Speaker 1: in that time. And like I said, once I was
Speaker 1: able to be still. Once I had to be still
Speaker 1: and really be present in my life and be present
Speaker 1: in my skin and in my body, and in my
Speaker 1: home and in my family and in my friendships and
Speaker 1: at my job, grief came crashing the fuck down on
Speaker 1: the crown of my head. That's because that's what the
Speaker 1: fucking felt like, a fucking tornado. So I was able
Speaker 1: to put my grief on a stronghold from late February
Speaker 1: to mid early mid June, while I was running through
Speaker 1: the streets with my woes as Drake said sidebar, Drake.
Speaker 1: Let's just Drake, you lost that one, buddy, Okay, so
Speaker 1: let's just say please, I'm asking you to please let
Speaker 1: this thing be done. I don't I want you to
Speaker 1: spraying some spray here on my hands. I don't want
Speaker 1: Drake to come back and keep doing this because it's over. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's over. You lost. Let's just keep it moving. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Kendrick Lamar, shout out to the city accomptent,
Speaker 1: shout out to hip hop winning anyway, let me focus,
Speaker 1: I apologize, friends. So for five months, I had the
Speaker 1: game on lock right, running around, running around, but grief
Speaker 1: came looking for my ass, and it found me hiding
Speaker 1: in the closet, and it was back and in full effect.
Speaker 1: It's like I took a break with little droplets of it,
Speaker 1: but I took a break, but it came back looking
Speaker 1: for my ass and it found me. And I still
Speaker 1: had a job to do, right, I still had shit
Speaker 1: to do. And because of who I am, I'm about
Speaker 1: my business and I'm resilient as fuck, and I'm not
Speaker 1: too my own horn. But based on my lived experiences
Speaker 1: since I was about ten, Okay, one thing about me,
Speaker 1: I'm resilient as fuck. I'm a bounce back, slowly but surely. However,
Speaker 1: it's got to go. Perseverance and resilience are some things
Speaker 1: that their blessings, their gifts that God has given me.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's a gift than a curse, but it's a
Speaker 1: blessing nonetheless. So I still had to do what I
Speaker 1: had to do. I had to hunker down and really
Speaker 1: focus on putting out an episode every single fucking week.
Speaker 1: So I did. And because hand me my purse is
Speaker 1: what the fuck I do, and it's what I have
Speaker 1: always done and what I will continue to do. It
Speaker 1: wasn't going to stop because I had a lot on me,
Speaker 1: or because I was stressed, or because I was dealing
Speaker 1: with grief. However, I had no idea what I was
Speaker 1: about to get myself into being in this contract. And
Speaker 1: because I'd never done it before, I was always an
Speaker 1: independent excuse me, I was always an independent podcaster or
Speaker 1: you know, artists, and I kind of just did my
Speaker 1: thing and just whatever I did was what I did
Speaker 1: because I didn't have anybody to answer to because it
Speaker 1: was me. But what I really didn't take into consideration
Speaker 1: was that it takes so much fucking more to be
Speaker 1: really super successful at podcasting than just recorded episodes, and
Speaker 1: all of that was on me to figure out that
Speaker 1: I knew, but I didn't really understand the impact that
Speaker 1: it would have or what it really looked like in
Speaker 1: practice or in real time. Like I kind of knew it,
Speaker 1: but to know something and to understand something are two
Speaker 1: different things. And because I'm essentially like a baby in
Speaker 1: this game, a newborn in the game of being backed
Speaker 1: by a major network, like I didn't really know what
Speaker 1: the fuck I was doing. I was just kind of,
Speaker 1: like they said, put out four episodes a month or
Speaker 1: one every Tuesday. I'm gonna show up, and I'm definitely
Speaker 1: gonna do that. I'm gonna do that, But there's so
Speaker 1: much more of their social media, which is fucking major.
Speaker 1: Like social media is major, and that's why there are
Speaker 1: people who get paid to do that. So there's social media,
Speaker 1: there's marketing in general, and that's why there are people
Speaker 1: who get fucking paid to do that. And that is
Speaker 1: the main way to grow an independent show. However, all
Speaker 1: I was really focused on and all I really could
Speaker 1: afford to, And when I say afford I mean emotional, emotionally,
Speaker 1: mentally and I would even say spiritually, that's all I
Speaker 1: could afford and understand, I'm not talking about money. There
Speaker 1: are other forms of currency. Energy as a form of currency,
Speaker 1: and my mental health or mentally, emotionally and spiritually, that's
Speaker 1: all that I really could afford to do was to
Speaker 1: put out episodes every week. And when you're an independent show,
Speaker 1: it takes way more than just putting out those episodes.
Speaker 1: And that's all I was put Excuse me, that's all
Speaker 1: I was really focused on putting doing, was putting out
Speaker 1: shows because you know, I was throat deep in grief
Speaker 1: and it was kind of scary for me. I ain't
Speaker 1: gonna lie. So what I absolutely had to do. I
Speaker 1: knew that I absolutely had to release a show every Tuesday,
Speaker 1: and I had to prepare a show. I had to
Speaker 1: research for a show. I had to document and outline
Speaker 1: a show. There are a lot of things that go
Speaker 1: into making a show. I don't just get on here
Speaker 1: and you know, be freestyle and like I'm in the
Speaker 1: BT freestyle cipher. Remember that I ain't in the BT
Speaker 1: site for just spitting this shit out. Like. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of preparation that goes into these shows. So even
Speaker 1: though I release the show weekly. There's a lot that
Speaker 1: goes into preparing that show to be released, and it
Speaker 1: is a part of my personal integrity to ensure that
Speaker 1: I put out quality content. I'm not selling y'all no
Speaker 1: wolf tickets. I'm not selling y'all no bullshit. I'm not
Speaker 1: putting out no whack ass shit. It's not what I
Speaker 1: do that To add that to the list, the perseverance,
Speaker 1: the resilience, the authenticity, I ain't putting out no whax
Speaker 1: shit because my name should not be associated with wax
Speaker 1: shit because I ain't whack. So anyway, I was laser
Speaker 1: focused on putting out quality shows for my friends in
Speaker 1: can and that's what I did. Forty five shows. Actually
Speaker 1: this is the forty fifth every week. That's what I did,
Speaker 1: with the exception of weeks that I took some breaks,
Speaker 1: because you know, I did have some time off like
Speaker 1: any other job. I'm not a fucking robot. So while
Speaker 1: I actually had no choice but to mentally and emotionally
Speaker 1: deal with losing my grandmother, I started the job of
Speaker 1: my dreams with iHeart Podcasts, and I did exactly what
Speaker 1: I thought I was supposed to do. I put out
Speaker 1: quality content every single week, and that's all I did.
Speaker 1: There isn't much of any support with marketing beyond the
Speaker 1: show's release that I got from iHeart. So the first
Speaker 1: weeks of the show's launch, I got a big push
Speaker 1: in terms of marketing. And like I said, I told
Speaker 1: you before, marketing is really important when it comes to
Speaker 1: growing an independent show. But when it comes to growing
Speaker 1: in an independent show, there's no handbook. Like nobody gives
Speaker 1: you a handbook and tells you what to do. Because
Speaker 1: people can sell you a masterclass and you can go
Speaker 1: listen to people tell you what you need to do.
Speaker 1: But every situation is different, and what's gonna work for
Speaker 1: me may not work for somebody else, and what worked
Speaker 1: for somebody else may not work for me. And as
Speaker 1: I said, there wasn't any support for me. And that's
Speaker 1: not a dig at iHeart at the fuck all. I'm
Speaker 1: just kicking the actual fact. I'm just telling you what
Speaker 1: happened because that's what I do. I'm just gonna keep buck. So,
Speaker 1: as I said, there wasn't any support beyond the launch,
Speaker 1: and so the support around the launch was like I said,
Speaker 1: not like I said, but it was really amazing. It
Speaker 1: was extremely beneficial. I got a phone call from my
Speaker 1: best friend in California who was listening to the radio,
Speaker 1: and was like when she called me and she was
Speaker 1: screaming at me. I think I mentioned it on the
Speaker 1: show before, and she was like, bitch, I just heard
Speaker 1: a commercial for your podcast on ninety two point three
Speaker 1: to be I don't even know if it still call that.
Speaker 1: It's ninety two point three though, and I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1: So it was so amazing that big push that I got,
Speaker 1: and I'm hella grateful for that and appreciative for it
Speaker 1: because it really set me up for greatness. I just
Speaker 1: had no damn clue how to maintain that. You know,
Speaker 1: that's a lot. That's a lot to maintain, and I
Speaker 1: didn't know how to fuck to do that, And truthfully,
Speaker 1: I don't even know if I had the mental or
Speaker 1: emotional capacity to figure it out at that point, because,
Speaker 1: like I said, I keep saying this, but I want
Speaker 1: you to understand that grief was heavy in my bones
Speaker 1: at this point, like it was heavy it was on me.
Speaker 1: So really, all I could manage, along with life and
Speaker 1: dealing heavily with my own mental health was to ensure
Speaker 1: that every single week I put out quality content and
Speaker 1: believe me, friends and ken, at that point, my mental
Speaker 1: health was jumping like a fucking disco. I was a
Speaker 1: complete wreck, and I was masking it all the best
Speaker 1: way that I could, because well, what are the alternatives?
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't just fall apart and just you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to become hyper depressed or you know,
Speaker 1: like lay in bed all day. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: do that. Life is kind of like I always used
Speaker 1: to say, this, life is like bad Boy Records in
Speaker 1: the nineties. It can't stop, and it won't stop. And
Speaker 1: just because we need to figure some shit out or
Speaker 1: we need some time to work shit out in life, like,
Speaker 1: it ain't gonna stop for us at all. No, it's
Speaker 1: not not the good. So I'm just like trying to
Speaker 1: figure out all this shit out. So why am I
Speaker 1: saying all this to you guys? Because I learned a
Speaker 1: whole fucking lot in the past eleven months or in
Speaker 1: the past year, because it's almost been a year. The
Speaker 1: biggest period of learning for me thus far during my
Speaker 1: journey with hanmy my Purse has been this past year.
Speaker 1: I learned that I cannot and underno circumstances will I
Speaker 1: be able to do everything. I can't do it all.
Speaker 1: I have a full time job as an educator. I
Speaker 1: have a part time job as a cheerleading coach. I
Speaker 1: have another full time job as a podcast host. Because
Speaker 1: this shit is full time, well, it would be mid
Speaker 1: to time. It's between part and full time. And the
Speaker 1: most important job ever is me being a human, a
Speaker 1: functional human in the world and taking care of myself.
Speaker 1: Has been a bit of a struggle over the past year.
Speaker 1: I've had to work a little harder than usual. But
Speaker 1: I thank God from whom all blessings flow that I
Speaker 1: started therapy again in November of last year, and that
Speaker 1: was a fucking life saver for me. God bless my therapist.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that she and I are back in
Speaker 1: the saddle, and I'm blessed to be black back in Yes,
Speaker 1: I said what I said. God wasn't joking when I
Speaker 1: just said that I'm blessed to be black. That was
Speaker 1: a Freudian slip. That was a slip, but it was
Speaker 1: the truth. But I'm blessed to be back in the
Speaker 1: game and you know, going to therapy again because I
Speaker 1: was drowning before. When she called me and told me
Speaker 1: Are you ready to start? Yeah, I'm ready to start again.
Speaker 1: What shout out to my therapist that lady shout out
Speaker 1: to her. What I feel like I most definitely have
Speaker 1: learned is that, as I stated, I can't do all
Speaker 1: of this by myself, And by all of this, I
Speaker 1: mean maintain the machine that is growing and maintaining a
Speaker 1: show on a major network, because that is a much
Speaker 1: much bigger operation than I ever thought it could be,
Speaker 1: and I can't do it by myself. I have to
Speaker 1: find help. Help is good. Everybody needs help. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: need help. I definitely have my producers, and they are
Speaker 1: fucking amazing. But they are producers. They are not a
Speaker 1: marketing team. They are not agents, they are not a manager,
Speaker 1: they are not a pr rep. You know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: they are producers. They help me work on executing and
Speaker 1: implementing strategies that I need to put out quality content.
Speaker 1: That is what we're here for. And like I said,
Speaker 1: it's okay to get help, to get the help that
Speaker 1: you need when you need it. But you don't know
Speaker 1: what you don't know until you realize that you don't
Speaker 1: know what you don't know. So when the time comes
Speaker 1: and I have it, all to do again. I got
Speaker 1: to get some help to run this machine because I
Speaker 1: cannot do it by myself, and I cannot even try
Speaker 1: to do it by myself. I should not even try
Speaker 1: to do it by myself because I need assistance. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got to get some help to run this machine
Speaker 1: so that it runs smoothly. I will have to outsource
Speaker 1: the marketing for Hanming my Purse. I will have to
Speaker 1: outsource the social media management for Hanming my Purse. I
Speaker 1: will have to outsource support for building and growing my
Speaker 1: audience because that's all on me. It's all on me.
Speaker 1: I've learned that, And while that has been a huge lesson,
Speaker 1: it's also a blessing because now I know because, like
Speaker 1: I said, you don't know what you don't know until
Speaker 1: you don't know what you don't know. But now I know,
Speaker 1: and when you know better, you do better kind of
Speaker 1: because I don't really believe that that's necessarily truth. But anyway,
Speaker 1: I've learned that, and now I know exactly what that
Speaker 1: should look like for me, Like I've already started planning
Speaker 1: and thinking about, like what does that look like? Where
Speaker 1: do I need to seek out the help? Where do
Speaker 1: I go to find the help. Who can help me?
Speaker 1: How can I get the help? So let's talk about,
Speaker 1: you know, the amazing things that happen, some other things
Speaker 1: that happen. Because that's not to say that the things
Speaker 1: I just talked about weren't amazing, but let's focus on
Speaker 1: some other things. My show artwork got a complete overhaul,
Speaker 1: and the original artwork that I created myself with my
Speaker 1: baby picture is now considered vintage handing my purse artwork.
Speaker 1: But the new artwork, I love it because it's an
Speaker 1: homage to a picture actually of me and my dad.
Speaker 1: The picture of me and my father. We took it
Speaker 1: when I was I want to say, I was six
Speaker 1: and I had a mushroom and my dad was a
Speaker 1: young hot dude back in the day. And I sent
Speaker 1: the team, the graphics and design team of iHeart. I
Speaker 1: sent them this picture of me and my father, and
Speaker 1: I said that I want this new artwork to be
Speaker 1: reminiscent of this image. But I want my grown up
Speaker 1: picture of myself and the original baby picture that I
Speaker 1: used of myself in the vintage vintage artwork, Darling. I
Speaker 1: want to fuse them together, and the vintage image of
Speaker 1: baby me me and the artwork. I wanted it there
Speaker 1: to always remind myself of where him my purse started.
Speaker 1: I love the new artwork. I learned so much. I
Speaker 1: got to really streamline my process, which is amazing because
Speaker 1: here comes some astrology stuff because my saturn my virgo,
Speaker 1: I mean, my virgo is I don't even know how
Speaker 1: to say this. My saturn is in virgo is what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to say. Sorry, guys, it's been a long day.
Speaker 1: It's late, and it's been a long day. But y'all
Speaker 1: know I'm really into astrology, so my saturn is in virgo.
Speaker 1: I'm really hyper focused when it comes to certain things,
Speaker 1: and I love processes. So I got to streamline my
Speaker 1: recording process and my planning process and my prep process.
Speaker 1: I got to say that when I came to the table,
Speaker 1: my prep process was already in line, and to the
Speaker 1: point that my producers were completely like, whoa motherfucker, you
Speaker 1: got a lot of this shit already in line. And
Speaker 1: they were surprised, and I mean, like the iHeart period
Speaker 1: was just surprised that I was able to execute so
Speaker 1: many things just on my own, and I had created
Speaker 1: so many things by myself. But that's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: And that's probably why I didn't think that I needed
Speaker 1: any help, because I'm so used to doing everything on
Speaker 1: my own when it comes to this podcast. But ahah Ahmad,
Speaker 1: I know now that a motherfucking needs some help. I
Speaker 1: can't do it by myself. Now I have these awesome producers.
Speaker 1: They helped me to learn what I didn't know before.
Speaker 1: All that I knew before joining iHeart, I had to
Speaker 1: learn on my own, and I did all of that
Speaker 1: work solo. Like I said, other than my guests, there
Speaker 1: was nobody else. But with Evan and Taylor support and
Speaker 1: are awesome weekly meetings that I really really love. I
Speaker 1: have been able to really grow my skill set as
Speaker 1: a podcast host. And I can't even begin to tell
Speaker 1: you how the two of them have even supported me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry, oh, how Evan and Taylor have supported
Speaker 1: me as I grieved my grandmother's death like they are.
Speaker 1: They're my homeboys, right. We have really developed a really
Speaker 1: awesome relationship and they I don't think that they really
Speaker 1: understand how they have helped me throughout this process. I'm
Speaker 1: really grateful for them. I could not have asked for
Speaker 1: a better pair of dudes to have my back, and
Speaker 1: that's exactly exactly. Excuse me, oh, what they have done
Speaker 1: for me for the past year. They've had my back
Speaker 1: in ways that I didn't even expect them to. And
Speaker 1: we make a great team. And I have two new
Speaker 1: friends and I'm grateful for that. And I've released some really,
Speaker 1: really dope content this season, and I'm grateful for them
Speaker 1: for helping me and guiding me in that shut out
Speaker 1: to Evan and Taylor. Together we make up Rando Banjo
Speaker 1: and the Dirty Threw. I really released a lot of
Speaker 1: good interviews this season too. I think I don't even
Speaker 1: think I have a favorite show. Actually, I was gonna
Speaker 1: try to say my favorite show. I don't have a
Speaker 1: favorite show. It ain't no way that I could pick.
Speaker 1: But I've had some fucking phenomenal guests this season from
Speaker 1: my best friend Crystal, who is that's my rider. Shout
Speaker 1: out to my best friend Cristol episodes fifty three and
Speaker 1: fifty four, where we talked about how to maintain healthy
Speaker 1: friendships and all about our trip to Paris to see Beyonce.
Speaker 1: That was a whole key key and we low key
Speaker 1: were going back and forth. We weren't arguing, but it
Speaker 1: was like a back and forth about me lovings and
Speaker 1: her hating pairs, and I mean, that's fine. I still
Speaker 1: love pairs and she can still feel however she wants
Speaker 1: to feel about pairs, But I love pears and then
Speaker 1: Amber of the Bend Down Project talking about her experience
Speaker 1: with being incarcerated and the shit that you just don't
Speaker 1: know about being a woman, particularly a black woman being incarcerated.
Speaker 1: And that's episodes fifty nine and sixty My crazy ast
Speaker 1: friend Candice, who has been on this show so many times,
Speaker 1: in episode sixty three and sixty four, where we just
Speaker 1: talked about the freedom of being a single woman in
Speaker 1: this day and time, and it's always a good, hearty
Speaker 1: laugh that you're gonna get when the two of us together.
Speaker 1: Episode sixty six and sixty seven, I interviewed a young
Speaker 1: lady named Jasmine Evanna Epste and she talked about Hydradiniitis
Speaker 1: super retiva. I want to make sure I said that correctly,
Speaker 1: also known as HS, and that is a condition that
Speaker 1: so many black people have to live with every day. Actually,
Speaker 1: one of my cheerleaders has it, and so I should.
Speaker 1: Probably I'm gonna I'm going to refer her to listen
Speaker 1: to this episode, but one of my cheerleaders has it
Speaker 1: so and one of my long time childhood friends had it.
Speaker 1: So I was really excited to have her on the
Speaker 1: show because I was very familiar with the condition. Already
Speaker 1: episode seventy and seventy one, I spent talking with my
Speaker 1: homie and friend of the show, the Bedroom Bartender, about
Speaker 1: how to navigate heavy, heavy in your bones grief in
Speaker 1: your forties and still managed to live every day when
Speaker 1: like your person dies and is gone. She lost her
Speaker 1: mom during COVID, and so we talked about it, and
Speaker 1: it was probably the first time that I had ever
Speaker 1: really spoken about or even asked about, how do I
Speaker 1: deal with this? And that that conversation was very helpful.
Speaker 1: Shout out to the Bedroom Bartender. I talked about this already.
Speaker 1: Episode seventy four, seventy five, seventy six were pretty fucking amazing,
Speaker 1: Like they're dope. I got to go to New York
Speaker 1: and record live and direct from the Red Studio in
Speaker 1: iHeart Studios with Marcy Depina, and it was pretty fucking phenomenal.
Speaker 1: I have to say. The entire experience was really amazing,
Speaker 1: and when we got together, it was like we was cousins,
Speaker 1: and we were just talking and having a good time.
Speaker 1: But the topic our conversation was Sweet Daddy Grace And
Speaker 1: if you have not listened to that series, and if
Speaker 1: you don't know who Sweet Daddy Grace is, go listen
Speaker 1: to it immediately. Episode seventy nine through eighty one were
Speaker 1: recorded with my coworkers and we sat down and we
Speaker 1: had a roundtable and we talked about the current state
Speaker 1: of education, particularly urban education. And it was a round
Speaker 1: table of veterans, and shit got real. We talked about
Speaker 1: some real shit. The truth was absolutely told. It was
Speaker 1: great and I'm so glad and grateful that they came
Speaker 1: in during Christmas break and sat down and talked to
Speaker 1: me and was in conversation with We were in conversation
Speaker 1: with each other about the state of education. Eighty two
Speaker 1: and eighty three were with an amazing artist's name is
Speaker 1: Jonathan McCrory, and we talked about the rise of his
Speaker 1: career in black theater and he introduced me to the
Speaker 1: National Black Theater. I didn't know anything about it, and
Speaker 1: I love when I'm in conversation with people, and they
Speaker 1: introduced me to new things. Also, his story is a
Speaker 1: really great story. Of resilience and perseverance and just believing
Speaker 1: in yourself and how those three things can really really
Speaker 1: excuse me catapult your career to the moon, just believing
Speaker 1: in yourself and never giving up on yourself. Episodes eighty
Speaker 1: six and eighty seven, I was in conversation with Eban A.
Speaker 1: Allman of the Professional Homegirl podcast, and that was a
Speaker 1: good old reality check for me. Just reminded me because
Speaker 1: it's like I'm interviewing them, but I'm being fed by them. Definitely,
Speaker 1: that conversation reminded me one like girl, you are that bitch,
Speaker 1: don't forget it. And also that I'm the captain of
Speaker 1: this ship, and by this ship, I'm talking about my life,
Speaker 1: and that like if I want it, I want it,
Speaker 1: go get it, and believe that I'm gonna go to
Speaker 1: go get it and believe I'm worth it. That's the key.
Speaker 1: I love it when sisters hold one another accountable. It
Speaker 1: was a great conversation. Episode eighty nine and ninety were
Speaker 1: with my good friend, okay and very good friend of
Speaker 1: handing my purse, Evany Vaughn, who shout out to Abny
Speaker 1: fucking Vaughn. We talked about in these episodes on this
Speaker 1: series self Deception and Self Awareness and child when I
Speaker 1: tell you it was a read, and it was a
Speaker 1: good read at that episodes ninety one and ninety two
Speaker 1: gonna talk a lot about it. But then Motherfuckers was
Speaker 1: heavy for me. Okay, I interviewed this woman. It was
Speaker 1: a beautiful conversation. Her name is a Lua Arthur and
Speaker 1: she is a death doula and the author of the
Speaker 1: book Briefly Perfectly Human. It was such an amazing read.
Speaker 1: The book was and she has such an ethereal spirit.
Speaker 1: And I guess you have to if you're a death
Speaker 1: doula listen. That episode had me so fucking shook. It
Speaker 1: had me shook. You damn right, it got real. I'm listening.
Speaker 1: That episode was something else. I was shook during the
Speaker 1: fucking episode while we were recording and after we were recording.
Speaker 1: And I gotta say, I have never, ever, ever, ever,
Speaker 1: ever ever listened to that episode. Again, I did not
Speaker 1: listen to it after we recorded it. Usually after I
Speaker 1: record something, my producer will send it to me for QA,
Speaker 1: and I did not listen to that for QA. I
Speaker 1: said to myself, whatever the fuck you got is what
Speaker 1: the fuck they gonna get? I'm not listening to it,
Speaker 1: because if you listen to it, you'll understand why I'm
Speaker 1: saying that I'm not gonna really talk about it. But
Speaker 1: I ain't listening to it. Again. I never listened to it.
Speaker 1: Maybe I will and like two years no, man, Pam.
Speaker 1: The energy was so seriously spiritual and I've never experienced
Speaker 1: anything like it. It was amazing. But I'm still fucking shit, honey,
Speaker 1: So I ain't listened to it anyway. The last episode
Speaker 1: that I had with guests was the episode before this one,
Speaker 1: and it was with my producers Evan and Taylor, and
Speaker 1: it was so awesome to be able to just share
Speaker 1: with the world exactly what our conversations are like on
Speaker 1: a regular basis. It was a really fun way to
Speaker 1: start to close out my conversations with guests for this season.
Speaker 1: And I'm honored that they were the last guest I
Speaker 1: had on the show for season four. And it's awesome
Speaker 1: that the first guest I had for season four was
Speaker 1: my best friend, and the last guests that I had
Speaker 1: for season four were my producers Evan and Taylor. In
Speaker 1: between all of those episodes, so there are so many
Speaker 1: episodes where it's just me and I gotta say them
Speaker 1: episodes is dope and shit too, and not to too
Speaker 1: my own horn or anything, but hand me my purse
Speaker 1: is a dope fucking piece of dope fucking place to be.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say a dope fucking piece of ass.
Speaker 1: I'm and by you motherfuckers, I mean me because I
Speaker 1: don't know why I said it's a dope piece of ass.
Speaker 1: I don't know where that came from. But handing my
Speaker 1: purse is a really dope place to be. So as
Speaker 1: I close out season four, I want you guys to
Speaker 1: know that, regardless of the outcome of the situation with
Speaker 1: handing my purse and my contract with iHeart, hand me
Speaker 1: my purse ain't going no fucking wear. This is my baby,
Speaker 1: this is God's gift to me, this is my gift
Speaker 1: to my community. This is a major part of my purpose.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to ride this motherfucker till the wheels
Speaker 1: fall off. I'm going to ride it out. I ain't
Speaker 1: going nowhere until I'm ready to go somewhere. And I
Speaker 1: can promise you that if I go somewhere, I'm catapulting
Speaker 1: to the moon. Henvy, my purse is gonna always be
Speaker 1: my baby like Mariah Carey. Okay, but I do need
Speaker 1: to take a little break, y'all, because Auntie is tired
Speaker 1: of shit. I'm exhausted between this school year trying to
Speaker 1: take me down and me doubling that output every month.
Speaker 1: I need a serious break. But please know, I will
Speaker 1: be back. Whether I am backed by a huge network
Speaker 1: or not the number one podcast network in the nation actually,
Speaker 1: or if I'm an independent show. This party will not stop.
Speaker 1: The party will always go on. The show will always
Speaker 1: continue until God tells me that it is time for
Speaker 1: me to stop. I will continue this journey with you,
Speaker 1: my friends, and can we ain't going nowhere. We is together, okay,
Speaker 1: and I should be back soon, but I can't tell
Speaker 1: you what soon looks like. Just shit. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's gonna be a month, two months, three months.
Speaker 1: I can't really see it being more than three months
Speaker 1: because I'm just not cut up that way. But I
Speaker 1: just need a break to reset, recoup, and to get
Speaker 1: my mind ready and get prepared to bring you some
Speaker 1: more fucking good shit. I gotta get ready. I gotta
Speaker 1: get prepared. I want to be prepared. I want to
Speaker 1: be ready for you guys. So just make sure that
Speaker 1: you subscribe and you follow on the platform that you
Speaker 1: listen on and such so that when I do pop
Speaker 1: back out, when I pop out on y'all, you get
Speaker 1: the notification that we back in the swing of things.
Speaker 1: And I also just wanted to say that I do
Speaker 1: this for my culture. I do this for my ancestors.
Speaker 1: I do this for the planet. I do it for
Speaker 1: the galaxy, and I do it for you, and I
Speaker 1: do it for myself. Okay, I do it gracefully, and
Speaker 1: I do it gratefully, and I have so much gratitude
Speaker 1: for all of you and for this show. God blessed
Speaker 1: me with this show. It was my idea, but it
Speaker 1: couldn't have been my idea by myself. It was God
Speaker 1: who placed this on my heart and in my spirit
Speaker 1: and in my mind and on my soul. And I'm
Speaker 1: grateful to you guys for always being here for me.
Speaker 1: But I'm so grateful to God for just planting this
Speaker 1: inside of me, because this is a gift, and it
Speaker 1: is a gift from God to me and then a
Speaker 1: gift from me to you. And for every fucking opportunity
Speaker 1: that God has gifted me, I am grateful for it.
Speaker 1: God is so good to me, and he blesses me
Speaker 1: with so many wonderful opportunities and wonderful chances to be
Speaker 1: my authentic self and share that with the world. And
Speaker 1: I am blessed even with a wonderful audience like you guys.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being you, and thank you for continuing
Speaker 1: to show up for me, but most importantly for yourselves.
Speaker 1: And you guys have no idea that you play such
Speaker 1: an important role in my life, and no words could
Speaker 1: ever explain to you how it makes me feel. I
Speaker 1: thank you, I thank you, and I thank you. Shout
Speaker 1: out to all of you. I will be back soon.
Speaker 1: All right, so friends again for the straight facts question
Speaker 1: for this week. For the final straight facts question of
Speaker 1: season four, we have someone from Canada shout out to
Speaker 1: Toronto with all of the stuff that we see on
Speaker 1: social media coming from men and even some women, that
Speaker 1: after a woman is thirty to forty years old, it's
Speaker 1: over for her when it comes to finding a partner,
Speaker 1: particularly a man. I don't know whenmen where this whole
Speaker 1: rush of people saying such negative things about women over
Speaker 1: thirty comes from, But I wonder could there be some
Speaker 1: truth to what is being said? Mimi what do you think.
Speaker 1: Do you believe that love still exists for women after thirty,
Speaker 1: but more importantly after forty. And that's from Maya in Toronto. Maya,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. I'm forty four years old.
Speaker 1: I'll be forty five in October, and I do believe
Speaker 1: that love still exists for women over forty. I believe
Speaker 1: that love still exists for women over fifty, and women
Speaker 1: over sixty, and women over seventy, and women over eighty.
Speaker 1: I believe that love still exists for men over thirty,
Speaker 1: men over forty, men over fifty, men over sixty, men
Speaker 1: over seventy, men over eighty. I believe that love can
Speaker 1: come to you at any time. And I believe as
Speaker 1: someone who is single, I gotta be honest, like I
Speaker 1: get really discouraged. I do. But what I know for
Speaker 1: certain is that God don't make no mistakes. So the
Speaker 1: Bible is to me a book, a guide book, and
Speaker 1: it's a book of stories and fables and parables and
Speaker 1: things of that nature. And I know it's a book
Speaker 1: in there or a story in there about somebody that
Speaker 1: either got married when they was old or had a
Speaker 1: baby when they was old. I think somebody had a
Speaker 1: baby when they was like ninety or something or old whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't know how old it was. Maybe her name
Speaker 1: was Ruth's. Might be making that up, but I think
Speaker 1: I'm right. I'm saying that to say the story is
Speaker 1: there for a reason. We can find love at any age.
Speaker 1: I fundamentally believe that I'm gonna find love. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: gonna be at forty four, maybe at forty five, maybe
Speaker 1: at forty eight, maybe at fifty two. I don't know,
Speaker 1: But I do believe that God has somebody for me,
Speaker 1: and when it's time, and when God thinks that I'm ready,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna meet him and we're gonna be togevil So maya.
Speaker 1: I believe that love can still exist for anybody at
Speaker 1: any age. Just because you ain't got love, or you
Speaker 1: think you ain't got love and you thirty thirty five,
Speaker 1: forty forty five, fifty, that don't mean you don't have it.
Speaker 1: A lot of times that season of solitude that I
Speaker 1: talk about a lot on the show, and my best
Speaker 1: friend and I talk about this all the time, that
Speaker 1: people get into relationships with other people without going through
Speaker 1: a season of solitude and their relationships be real fucked up.
Speaker 1: Until you go through a season where it's just you,
Speaker 1: it ain't nobody with you. Is you in the morning?
Speaker 1: Is you in the evening? Is you in the afternoons?
Speaker 1: You in the midnight hour? Is you in the shower?
Speaker 1: Is you in the bed? Is you in the kitchen?
Speaker 1: Is shoe in the car? Is you on the trips?
Speaker 1: Until you go through that season where the only person
Speaker 1: that's left is you and you are forced to love yourself,
Speaker 1: you ain't really ready to love nobody else. That's why
Speaker 1: some of your relationships be so fucked up, because y'all
Speaker 1: just jumping from like hopping around like a little kid
Speaker 1: from one relationship to the next and never taking any
Speaker 1: time to really do the critical work on yourself to
Speaker 1: make yourself better to be in a position to be
Speaker 1: with someone else. That's all a season of solitude is
Speaker 1: really about. It could be four weeks, it could be
Speaker 1: four days, it could be be four months, it could
Speaker 1: be fourteen years, But whatever it is, you've got to
Speaker 1: go through it, and it looks different for everybody. So yes,
Speaker 1: I do believe that love still exists for women over
Speaker 1: forty because I'm forty four, and I know God got
Speaker 1: somebody out there for me, and he bet to be special.
Speaker 1: He got to be special if he gonna be with me.
Speaker 1: So I hope that answers your question. Maya, I'm good luck, sist,
Speaker 1: because I know it's rough out there. It's hought out
Speaker 1: here for a pimp when you're trying to get this
Speaker 1: money for the rent. I know that for a fact,
Speaker 1: So good Luck, invite me to the wedding when you
Speaker 1: meet him here. Invite me to the wedding. Maya. Bye,
Speaker 1: all right, friends in him for today's we got to
Speaker 1: do better. I am reading for the last time in
Speaker 1: season four from the book The Hand of My perse
Speaker 1: Bible black liturgies, prayers, poems and meditations for staying human,
Speaker 1: and the author is Cole Arthur Riley. She has a sister.
Speaker 1: She's adorable. She is in her thirties and a powerful
Speaker 1: and prolific and eloquent writer. And I am going to
Speaker 1: say that she is going to be a guest on
Speaker 1: handing my purse in the future. I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and put that out there. I'm reading today from I
Speaker 1: really feel like I'm reading like a Bible, but I'm
Speaker 1: reading from the section on justice, and I'm reading the
Speaker 1: prayer for those taught to believe in scarcity. Abundant God
Speaker 1: remind us that there is enough for us. We are
Speaker 1: grateful that the earth we have been entrusted to care
Speaker 1: for is one of beauty and provision. We have all
Speaker 1: we need. Revealed the hypocrisy and corruption of the privileged
Speaker 1: in a world of men who have more than it
Speaker 1: would ever be humanly possible to spend, we have let
Speaker 1: entire countries starve and thirst, often because we have stolen
Speaker 1: the resources of their own sacred lands. Protect us from
Speaker 1: the myth of scarcecity sold to us by white capitalism,
Speaker 1: which tells us we must fight for scraps because there
Speaker 1: is not enough. Rid us of the lie that the
Speaker 1: only way to contentment and survival is to sacrifice our
Speaker 1: bodies in work and toil. Expose the deception at work
Speaker 1: in our financial systems and economic processes, and help us
Speaker 1: tell new stories of what business and compensation might look
Speaker 1: like in a just society. Give us an imagination for
Speaker 1: a cultural A culture excuse me, that leverages its resources
Speaker 1: for the protection of the vulnerable human creature and land,
Speaker 1: convict the overprivileged and wealthy to rend their own dignity
Speaker 1: and self actualization from their possessions and let those living
Speaker 1: in scarcity be reminded that there is enough for them.
Speaker 1: May they feel no guilt in claiming it. Ahmen, listen,
Speaker 1: this girl be right and you understand me. Who hallelujah,
Speaker 1: hallelu hallelu to that prayer one time for your holy mind. Okay, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
Speaker 1: go get that book. If you don't have that book,
Speaker 1: let's end this all on this note. Go get the book.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna link it in the show notes. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do, Gonna link it in the show
Speaker 1: notes because you need to have it. Okay, get it.
Speaker 1: I love y'all. The first thing that I would like
Speaker 1: to do is say thank you to God first, because
Speaker 1: God is supreme in my life and I recognize, appreciate,
Speaker 1: and am grateful before the grace and the mercy and
Speaker 1: the dignity that God extends to me every single day
Speaker 1: of my black ass life. I want to say thank
Speaker 1: you to me as well, because, like I said before,
Speaker 1: I bust my ass. Okay, I want to thank me.
Speaker 1: I do. It ain't no secret I do. I want
Speaker 1: to thank you too, though. I really want to thank
Speaker 1: you guys, To each and every one of you that
Speaker 1: have been with me consistently since twenty twenty, I appreciate
Speaker 1: you from the bottom of my heart since March the
Speaker 1: first of twenty twenty. Thank you. I truly appreciate you
Speaker 1: guys for being here. And if you just started listening
Speaker 1: to handing my purse to this day, I mean on
Speaker 1: this day, excuse me, I thank you for that as well.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful either way you cut it up. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for my family. I could not have gotten to this
Speaker 1: place without my family. I'm grateful for my friends. I
Speaker 1: could not be here and be in this space without
Speaker 1: my friends. I'm thankful to all my friends, and I
Speaker 1: can all of my supporters, and of course, because support
Speaker 1: looks different coming from different people, and support is not
Speaker 1: just listening to the show, and of course, because support
Speaker 1: could just be you telling your friends about the show,
Speaker 1: and of course, or support could be excuse me, you
Speaker 1: leave in a review or rating for the show. I
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. If you did that, that would be great,
Speaker 1: that would be very supportive of you. But most importantly,
Speaker 1: every single one of you guys that listen. I love
Speaker 1: you guys so much and It's such an honor and
Speaker 1: a blessing for me to share my time and energy
Speaker 1: with you, and for you to reciprocate and keep coming
Speaker 1: back and spending your time and your energy with me.
Speaker 1: And I look forward to the next time that we
Speaker 1: get to do this with one another. And I can't
Speaker 1: quite tell you when that's going to be, but we
Speaker 1: are going to get to do this with one another again,
Speaker 1: I promise. Now, before you exit out of whatever streaming
Speaker 1: service you're using to listen to this, stop what doing
Speaker 1: if you haven't already done, so look for the subscriber
Speaker 1: follow button. Please click on it so you can stay
Speaker 1: up to date and you know when I'm getting back
Speaker 1: in the game. And if that's an option on your
Speaker 1: streaming service where you're listening, just make sure you do that. Next,
Speaker 1: I want you to go over to Instagram and follow
Speaker 1: me because I'm able to be much more active on
Speaker 1: Instagram because it's summer and I don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about output. So go over to Instagram and follow me
Speaker 1: at hand me my Purse Underscore podcast, and follow me
Speaker 1: on threads because I be popping on threads like in
Speaker 1: real life, and you can find me on threads by
Speaker 1: way of my Instagram profile and find me at hand
Speaker 1: Me my Purse Underscore podcast on Facebook just search hand
Speaker 1: Me my Purse podcast. If you're listen on a streaming
Speaker 1: service or medium that allows you to do so, please
Speaker 1: take time two to three minutes. I promise that's all
Speaker 1: it takes. Do it when you go to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: when you take a booboo, just go rate my show.
Speaker 1: Review the show please, or give it a thumbs up
Speaker 1: if you can. You can do that on Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 1: You can leave a message for me on Spotify as well,
Speaker 1: and I want to say on Stitcher you can do
Speaker 1: that as well. Friends, and can be sure to share
Speaker 1: Handy my Person with your friends, your loved ones, and
Speaker 1: even your enemies. Because the best way for people to
Speaker 1: find out about this show is by you guys telling
Speaker 1: them all about it. So tell a friend to tell
Speaker 1: a friend to tell a friend. Please submit your questions
Speaker 1: for the straight Fact segment by clicking on the link
Speaker 1: in the show notes that says submit a question for
Speaker 1: straight Facts, or click the link in my Instagram profile
Speaker 1: and look for the button that directs you to submit
Speaker 1: a question. Who knows your question may be featured in
Speaker 1: an upcoming show in season five. Also, remember that show
Speaker 1: notes are always available in the episode description. Wherever you're
Speaker 1: listening to Hand Me my Purse, be sure to take
Speaker 1: a look at the show notes because that's where I
Speaker 1: put all the links with all the stuff that I
Speaker 1: mentioned in the show, in addition to any additional information
Speaker 1: that I want to share with you guys, So be
Speaker 1: sure to look at the show notes. Also, just so
Speaker 1: you know, the music for Him and My Purse is
Speaker 1: provided by none other than Baltimore's Zone West Baltimore. To
Speaker 1: be exact, be e zach, excuse me, West Baltimore's own
Speaker 1: Gloomy Tunes. Shout out to Gloomy Tunes. And last but
Speaker 1: not least, I want to give another big old shout
Speaker 1: out to Evan and Taylor, my producers, and together we
Speaker 1: make up Rando Banjo and the Dirty Throats. I look
Speaker 1: forward to you looking forward to listening to Him in
Speaker 1: My Purse the podcast whenever you want to, and staying
Speaker 1: tuned for when I come back for season five. Until then,
Speaker 1: I'm out this bitch in peace. Hand Me My PRIs
Speaker 1: is a production of iHeart Podcasts. For more shows from
Speaker 1: iHeart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio, app, Apple podcasts, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.