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Speaker 1: Okay, welcome to our latest installment of Dear Chelsea. This

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Speaker 1: is a very very therapeutic podcast hosted by yours truly

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Speaker 1: and my wonderful producer, Catherine, who is here with me.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea. How are you? I'm great?

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Speaker 1: How are you doing? Oh? I'm happy today? You are? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: feeling good. We're just talking about grounding mats. If you

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Speaker 1: guys are listening, grounding mats are where it's at. I

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Speaker 1: was introduced to it by Joe Coy and his tour bus,

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Speaker 1: but I just brought it up to Katherine, and Katherine,

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Speaker 1: can you kind of give us an abridged version of

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Speaker 1: what it is? Yeah? Absolutely, well, an earthing matt or

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Speaker 1: a grounding matt, and you can actually find there's a

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Speaker 1: book about it, but really just go look at the

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Speaker 1: Amazon reviews because people have these changed lives from using these.

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Speaker 1: But basically what it does is, since we evolved as

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Speaker 1: humans walking around on the earth, the earth would absorb

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Speaker 1: any positive electrical charge that we would build up. But

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Speaker 1: nowadays we all walk around in these Rubbert sold shoes

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Speaker 1: and so we're building upsetic electricity and this is all measurable.

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Speaker 1: It sounds very woo woo. But it's all real. And

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Speaker 1: so it's the sort of thing that happens when you

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Speaker 1: walk around on the beach or around on grass and

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Speaker 1: the earth actually absorbs that electric charge that builds up,

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Speaker 1: and that charge can kind of cause a host of things. So,

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Speaker 1: so you said positive electrical charge or negative electrical charge,

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Speaker 1: a positive electrical charge, and so we want to get

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Speaker 1: back to neutral. We're gonna get back to zero, which

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Speaker 1: is what happens when we walk around right right, you

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Speaker 1: want to get grounded, which means you're at zero right.

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Speaker 1: So it's great for anti inflammation, it's great for sleeping.

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Speaker 1: Joe Koy, My lover has terrible sleep apnea. So he

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Speaker 1: looks like a fucking octopus every single night when he

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Speaker 1: goes to sleep because he has a hook himself up

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Speaker 1: to a machine that sounds like he's vacuuming, and basically

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Speaker 1: it's like he goes to Antarctica for eight hours, because

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Speaker 1: once he hooks up to that machine, it's like see

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Speaker 1: you later. And he hasn't used the machine for three nights.

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Speaker 1: My husband, stop snoring. Oh really, my husband, stop snoring.

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Speaker 1: My ad had like a neuropathy in his foot where

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Speaker 1: he couldn't really feel his foot for a while, and

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Speaker 1: it went away when he started using one. My friend,

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Speaker 1: one of the guys on the bus says he gets

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Speaker 1: gout all the time and he's been using it and

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Speaker 1: hous and how an outbreak is out called an outbreak?

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Speaker 1: I think that's her piece, but anyway, we can call

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Speaker 1: out an outbreak right, a outbreak and it's good for autoimmune,

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Speaker 1: you know, anti inflammation. I came back from my Orca

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Speaker 1: and literally turned around and went on the road with

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Speaker 1: Joe and was completely fine, had no jet lag because

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Speaker 1: I got on the bus and like, you got a ground,

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Speaker 1: You got a ground, You got a ground. So it's

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Speaker 1: very exciting you guys. For listeners. You can go on

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Speaker 1: Amazon right and order one. And it's just a little

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Speaker 1: math that you put on your feet or you put

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Speaker 1: your feet on, or you can put it around your body.

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Speaker 1: You can sleep with it on your like just touching

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Speaker 1: some part of your skin and it helps you kind

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Speaker 1: of be grounded. And yeah, I'm really excited about it.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully I'll stick to it. We have a very exciting

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Speaker 1: guest today. This is somebody that I'm personally invested in,

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Speaker 1: and she has a new special out on Comedy Central

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Speaker 1: called Whiskey Fists, So if you haven't seen that, please

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Speaker 1: do because she has got a real point of view,

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Speaker 1: which is what we all want when we're watching comedy.

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Speaker 1: Is somebody who's saying something that you hadn't thought of before,

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Speaker 1: and she says a lot of that, and she says

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Speaker 1: it with a lot of attitude. She is a writer

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Speaker 1: on HBOS that Damn Michael Ja and she's also in

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Speaker 1: Amy Schumer's knew Hulu series Life and Beth, which I'm

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Speaker 1: looking forward to seeing also. And this is how I

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Speaker 1: found her. Her weekly podcast which is fucking funny as ship.

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Speaker 1: So follow her on Instagram at rosebud Baker. Right, follow

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Speaker 1: her on Instagram at rosebud Baker and watch clips of

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Speaker 1: her podcast, and then subscribe to her podcast because she

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Speaker 1: and her husband sit there and just basically argue in

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Speaker 1: a not even really a loving way, but in a

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Speaker 1: in a way that there's a lot of love there,

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Speaker 1: but it is highly entertaining and something I wish I

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Speaker 1: had thought of for myself. Please welcome rosebud Breaker. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much to see you in person so

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Speaker 1: that I'm I love that you love the podcast because

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Speaker 1: Sometimes people go they get uncomfortable and they'll be like, I,

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Speaker 1: I don't know it. It feels like they're really fighting,

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Speaker 1: and it's like we are really fighting. That's what it's like.

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Speaker 1: But that's what it is. But that's what a relationship is.

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Speaker 1: It's telling somebody what you think, what you really think

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Speaker 1: about them and them having to suck that up right.

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Speaker 1: And and there's also not a lot of that going

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Speaker 1: around right now, so I have a lot of respect

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Speaker 1: for it because people are trying to pussy foot around

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Speaker 1: everything in this moment in time, because people are so

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Speaker 1: scared to be real, and this is a real podcast

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Speaker 1: and it is about a real relationship, and that's what's

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Speaker 1: funny about it. So it's very refreshing. So I'm really excited.

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Speaker 1: And we're also my production company is developing a television

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Speaker 1: show with Rosebud. So when I say personally invested, I

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Speaker 1: mean it that way because I just am really really

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Speaker 1: looking forward to going out with this show for you,

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Speaker 1: which is based on you know, your real life experiences

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Speaker 1: and what happened to you growing up, which is well, first,

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Speaker 1: let me just tell the story about I was in

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Speaker 1: Maine last year around this time. Actually, I was in

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Speaker 1: Maine in a place called Biddeford Pool, which I rented

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Speaker 1: a house for like two weeks with my family and

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Speaker 1: some friends kind of strolled in and out. But Barbara Bush,

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Speaker 1: who is the daughter of George W. Bush, she is

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Speaker 1: a friend of mine, and she texted me and she said, Sissy.

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Speaker 1: That's what we call each other, Sissy. She goes, Sissy,

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Speaker 1: I hear that you're in Biddeford Pool. I'm here with

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Speaker 1: my mom. Were like two houses down from where you're staying.

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Speaker 1: And I said, oh my god, come on over, Cissy.

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Speaker 1: So she came over, but she was and she with

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Speaker 1: Barbara Bush, the former first Lady, and I walk outside

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Speaker 1: and they're walking up my driveway and there's I guess

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Speaker 1: Secret Service must have been with them or something. And

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Speaker 1: they came into the house and I showed them the

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Speaker 1: view because we had rented this beautiful house with this

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Speaker 1: gorgeous ocean view. Maine is gorgeous. And she walked outside

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Speaker 1: on the deck and then my brother Roy came outside

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Speaker 1: and looked at Barbara Bush and said, sweetie. He goes, Sweetie,

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Speaker 1: you look familiar. And I was like, boy, please go inside,

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Speaker 1: please don't And then we proceeded to hang out that

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Speaker 1: week because Barbara was in Kenny Bunkport with her whole family,

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Speaker 1: and we were doing pilates at my house every morning,

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Speaker 1: so she it's so yeah, it's very white, all of it,

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Speaker 1: all of it. She came over every morning to do

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Speaker 1: pilates with us, and then one day she was her

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Speaker 1: husband is really into pickleball, and I am not into

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Speaker 1: pickleball because everybody won't shut the funk up about pickleball.

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Speaker 1: And I don't like when people can't shut the funk

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Speaker 1: up about something I wanted to pass and then I'll

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Speaker 1: get interested. It's like a book. The pressure is too much.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to have to like this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if everyone's reading the same book, I'm like, everyone read educated.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm so sick of that book that I

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Speaker 1: cannot fucking read it until everyone shuts the funk up

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Speaker 1: about it. And then I listened to it on audio,

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Speaker 1: which is not the way to read that book. I

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Speaker 1: don't like audiobooks. I'd like to read books. Anyway. We

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Speaker 1: went to Kenny Bunkport. I said to Barbara, I said, listen,

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Speaker 1: she goes, why don't you guys come to Kenny Bunkport

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Speaker 1: comes to the compound play pickleball, and I a big

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Speaker 1: group with me, and I was like, okay, you know,

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Speaker 1: they all wanted to go and I don't care about

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Speaker 1: that stuff. And I also said, hey, se see, let

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Speaker 1: me be honest with you, like me meeting your father.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I can trust myself and my

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Speaker 1: behavior because you know, sometimes I have outbursts and you know,

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Speaker 1: politically it's just not a good thing. And I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be disrespectful. And somebody's in their own home. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you had to issue a warning, yes, And she's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: don't worry, He'll be getting a massage when you come over.

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Speaker 1: I'll make sure of it. I go, okay, okay, you know,

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Speaker 1: I take your word. She's a liar. Because we were

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Speaker 1: there and we were on the court for no less

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Speaker 1: than ten minutes before George W Bush. I heard him go,

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Speaker 1: miss Handler, is that you? And I was like, oh, fun,

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Speaker 1: now I have to like, oh my god, this is

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Speaker 1: against everything I stand for, Like I'm such a hypocrite

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Speaker 1: here I am, you know, And of course I found

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Speaker 1: him totally like cute and charming. It comes over, I know,

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Speaker 1: I know, and I was like oh. And so he

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Speaker 1: comes over and he goes, ah, he goes, I know you,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I know somebody that is going to

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Speaker 1: be the next Chelsea Handler. And I go, I doubt that.

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Speaker 1: I go, I doubt. He goes, No, she's a comedian.

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Speaker 1: I go, you don't know any comedians that I know,

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Speaker 1: and he was like, oh, no, I do. He goes

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Speaker 1: James Baker. She's the granddaughter of James Baker. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, James Baker who worked for you? And he said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: James Baker who worked for me. And I go, I

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Speaker 1: don't think that I know her. And he goes, oh, Rosebud,

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Speaker 1: Rosebud Baker, and I was like, oh fuck, we have

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Speaker 1: a deal with Rosebud. We're developing a show for Rosebud Baker.

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Speaker 1: And I, Oh my god. We do have something in common,

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Speaker 1: I know. And also like I've met him so many

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Speaker 1: times in my life where I felt the exact same

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Speaker 1: way that you did, where I was just like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: damn it, because he is likable, he's very like and

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Speaker 1: he's charming. He's so charming, and you're like, no, I

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Speaker 1: get why. People the whole like litmus tests, like would

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Speaker 1: you have a beer with this person. He's the guy

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Speaker 1: you want to have a beer with. I mean he

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Speaker 1: is like, okay, I get why. Yeah, he was excited

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Speaker 1: to have company. And my brother and sister were there,

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Speaker 1: and then like six or seven friends of mine and

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Speaker 1: they were all just like, you know, dumb struck. They

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Speaker 1: were like, what the funk is going on? And he

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Speaker 1: was talking to my sister and my brother Roy. He's like,

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Speaker 1: by god, I love Roy. And you know, he talks

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Speaker 1: about everyone loves my brother Roy because his head is

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Speaker 1: very large and misshapen, so people think that, you know,

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Speaker 1: like they don't not sure if something's off or what,

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Speaker 1: so they're always very delicate with him. But then I

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Speaker 1: go after he we kind of hung out for a

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Speaker 1: little he was with his sister, and then he left

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Speaker 1: and I was like, all right, we gotta go, guys everyone,

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Speaker 1: and they're like why we're having a good time. We're

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Speaker 1: playing pickaball. I go. I just don't want to be

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Speaker 1: here any longer, Like I don't trust myself. I want

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Speaker 1: to be respectful. So we're about to leave and he

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Speaker 1: comes running out of the house and he's like, come,

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Speaker 1: you got to see the house. We just renovated it.

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Speaker 1: I want to show you the views and he and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, somebody after they retire. And

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Speaker 1: we went in and he's like, I want to show

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Speaker 1: you my art collection. And I was really stone that day,

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Speaker 1: not unlike most days, I know you or sober. We'll

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Speaker 1: talk about that too. Did he show you his paintings?

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Speaker 1: He said, I have to show you my artwork. And

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Speaker 1: I looked at him and I said, I don't think

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Speaker 1: that's a good idea either, and I remember and then

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Speaker 1: he walked me upstairs. There was one painting downstairs, and

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Speaker 1: then he goes, come on upstairs, and I was like

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Speaker 1: looking for Barbara. I'm like, hey, Sissy, this is not

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Speaker 1: what we agreed upon. And he brings me upstairs and

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Speaker 1: I'm He's showing me his paintings. And all I could

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Speaker 1: think of was I said, out loud, Wow, the paint

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Speaker 1: is so thick. Can I tell you my mother? Right

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Speaker 1: after he got out of office, my mom and my

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Speaker 1: dad got divorced, and my mom started like campaigning for

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Speaker 1: Obama and then literally just immediately was just like fuck it.

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Speaker 1: And he asked my mom to teach him how to paint,

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Speaker 1: and my mom was like giving him painting lessons, and

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Speaker 1: she was like, Bud, it's not coming along, it's not

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Speaker 1: working out. She was like, it's really it's uh. I

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Speaker 1: mean he likes it. He's having fun. So yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: the most important thing is for him to have fun

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Speaker 1: right now. Yes. Yes. And then at one point he said,

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Speaker 1: take off your sunglasses so you can see the painting.

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Speaker 1: And I just looked at him and I said, I'm

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Speaker 1: very very stone right. I'd rather not. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: keep these on. And then we're gonna walk downstairs and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say goodbye. And I remember my friends were

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Speaker 1: like loitering, you know, they didn't want to leave because

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Speaker 1: he was cornering my one friend and talking to her

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Speaker 1: about sports and whatever, and my friends were into it.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, guys, let's go, and like round

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Speaker 1: him up and let's go. We gotta leave this party.

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Speaker 1: I love the idea of George Bush, the former president,

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Speaker 1: just being like the guy from blank Check the movie.

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Speaker 1: It's just like, you guys want to come ride horses sometime,

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Speaker 1: we just just keeping you. They're holding you hostage with

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Speaker 1: act exactly exactly. It's like, Okay, somebody hasn't had a

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Speaker 1: lot of visitors in a long time. Okay, Rosebud, let's

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Speaker 1: talk a little bit about you for a second. Um.

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Speaker 1: We talked about your stand up special which just came out,

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Speaker 1: so that's on Comedy Central. We talked that we let's

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Speaker 1: talk about what your show is about. Okay, So you

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Speaker 1: have something in common, which is death in our family, right,

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Speaker 1: And I wanted to write a show about death that

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Speaker 1: dealt with it in a way that wasn't so sentimental.

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Speaker 1: And I wanted to find the just the hilarious, absurd

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Speaker 1: experience of grief that I feel like hasn't really been

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Speaker 1: touched on. I find that if something is sad, it's

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Speaker 1: funny to me. I've never seen a sad thing that

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Speaker 1: didn't immediately make me laugh, and I it's unfortunate. I mean,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it comes up, somebody will tell me some bad

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Speaker 1: news that my first reaction is like choke down a laugh.

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Speaker 1: And I think part of it as a defense mechanism, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: but I also think that there's a lot of I mean,

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Speaker 1: grief itself is an absurd emotion. It is like organic ayahuasca.

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Speaker 1: Whatever you've been shoving down, it immediately comes up and

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Speaker 1: you have to deal with it. And I wanted to

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Speaker 1: write a show around that. I wanted to write a

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Speaker 1: show that deals with the funny parts of death and grief,

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Speaker 1: you know, and to me, I mean, there's there was

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Speaker 1: so much of that that I saw because I grew

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Speaker 1: up with money, and I grew up in a family where,

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Speaker 1: you know, everybody had this country club etiquette, and I thought,

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Speaker 1: I want to write a show that deals with grief

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Speaker 1: through the prism of like wealth and money and that

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Speaker 1: country club world where you're supposed to keep everything in

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Speaker 1: a box and everything's supposed to look nice and tidy,

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Speaker 1: because I think that's such a great backdrop for an

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Speaker 1: emotion like grief and too to highlight how absurd and

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Speaker 1: how funny it can be. Yeah. Yeah, Well, and also,

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Speaker 1: can you talk a little bit about who died in

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Speaker 1: your family and how Yeah, so my sister died. It

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Speaker 1: was about twenty years ago. She died in a jacuzzi,

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Speaker 1: which is, um, I mean, just a jumping off point

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Speaker 1: in our show. Yeah. So, I mean there's jokes about

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Speaker 1: this in my special in Whiskey Fists, but it's to me,

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Speaker 1: dying in a jacuzzi is such a funny way to die. Um, Like,

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Speaker 1: there's drowning and then there's drowning in a small, shallow

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Speaker 1: pool with bubbles, and it's just absurd. And she was young,

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Speaker 1: she was very young, so world, she was seven, she

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Speaker 1: was very she was a child, okay, and how old

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Speaker 1: were you at the time? So, and I never saw

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Speaker 1: obviously when this happened. I didn't find this hilarious, right,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't. None of us was funny to me until

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Speaker 1: years later when I would be telling people about myself

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Speaker 1: and they would go, oh, how did your sister die?

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Speaker 1: And I would say that she drowned, and then they

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Speaker 1: would say how did she drown? But that wasn't really

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Speaker 1: what they wanted to They wanted to know where, And

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Speaker 1: I had to like fill them in that it was

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Speaker 1: a jacuzzi. And it's like there's just this pause after

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Speaker 1: you say it where I have to be like, you know,

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Speaker 1: she wasn't shooting a music video or anything like, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't It was like and then I have to get

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Speaker 1: into all the gory details of like how someone drowns

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Speaker 1: in a jackouzy and and people would just be staring

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Speaker 1: at me like they wanted to get to know me,

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Speaker 1: but like not that well, you know, yeah, no, right,

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Speaker 1: people ask questions that they really don't want the answers

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Speaker 1: to all the time, and I'll answer like I'm that's

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Speaker 1: my problem is that I will fully fill you in.

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Speaker 1: But then you're just staring at me with your mouth agape,

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Speaker 1: like what, well, I okay, Well that's the end of

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Speaker 1: this conversation, you know. Yeah. Yeah, it's a tricky conversation

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Speaker 1: because people always feel guilty and they say, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry. When people ever asking me my brother, they

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Speaker 1: go all my if they don't know about my brother

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Speaker 1: d You're like, I'm so sorry. It's like, okay, it's

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Speaker 1: not your fault, like you didn't kill him, Like I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's past the point of me needing to hear that.

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Speaker 1: But you know, people just are probably they don't know

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Speaker 1: what to say. Yeah, it's like an immediate reaction, people

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Speaker 1: go I'm so sorry, and then you're in the position

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Speaker 1: of having to comfort them over something that happened to

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Speaker 1: you a long long time ago, a long time ago.

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Speaker 1: And it's the weirdest moment. And I feel like the

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Speaker 1: way that our culture deals with grief and death and

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Speaker 1: like loss of life is we just don't want to

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Speaker 1: touch it. We don't want to like actually deal with it.

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Speaker 1: We try to keep it clean, we try to keep

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Speaker 1: it nice, and it's messy and it should be. And

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Speaker 1: it's one of those moments where it absolutely should be

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Speaker 1: as messy as it is. Yeah, but it's also we

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Speaker 1: have such a repressed way. I remember going to my

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Speaker 1: first black funeral. I went to a gospel funeral when

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Speaker 1: I was like nine or ten years old because my

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Speaker 1: friend's grandmother died and he was black, and it was

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Speaker 1: like the biggest celebration I'd ever been to. And I

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Speaker 1: just came home and I'm Jewish, so we have the

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Speaker 1: worst funerals, it's like, and they go on for seven

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Speaker 1: days of sitting shiva, and I remember being like, this

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Speaker 1: is the way to do it. This is the way

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Speaker 1: when someone dies you celebrate their life. Obviously that's different

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Speaker 1: when it's a child, because you're not celebrating. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's devastating to parents, and it's devastating to lose a

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Speaker 1: young one. But when you give something any space, any tragedy,

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Speaker 1: any space, that always becomes there becomes a funny way

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Speaker 1: to talk about it. And that's just the way it is.

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Speaker 1: And that can upset people, but it's just so true.

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Speaker 1: And it's also a way to deal with your own grief.

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Speaker 1: You know, humor is the best outlet for grief. Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: I think that for dying is the reason why I

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Speaker 1: find sad things funny. I think that's like that was

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Speaker 1: the thing that just made me immediately my sense of

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Speaker 1: humor was sort of like a grave side sense of humor,

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Speaker 1: and to this day still is. And did you do therapy?

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Speaker 1: Have you done? I mean, I don't think I would

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Speaker 1: be able to write jokes about this stuff if I

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Speaker 1: hadn't been to therapy. I I truly owe my therapist

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Speaker 1: like my entire act, you know, because I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: been able to talk about any of it, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I also feel like it would be psychotic of

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Speaker 1: me to try. If I hadn't worked all of this

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Speaker 1: out and taken care of myself before taking it to

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Speaker 1: the stage, it would be not only would it not

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Speaker 1: be funny, it would be very sad and feel like

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Speaker 1: somebody trying to make sense of something through like the

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Speaker 1: applause of strangers. It just you know, But I love therapy.

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Speaker 1: I've been in therapy for eight nine years. Now. Are

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Speaker 1: you still in therapy? Yes? I was forced into therapy

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Speaker 1: at a young age. Though, so I was like because

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Speaker 1: of your sister, No, just because I was fat and

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Speaker 1: my like my parents were like something's wrong and very

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Speaker 1: waspy background, and they were like, we gotta get her

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Speaker 1: into therapy. And it's like, maybe you're just having four

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Speaker 1: or five kids and I'm hoarding food because I'm worried

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Speaker 1: about supplies. But they they sent me into therapy really young,

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Speaker 1: and I hated it. I hated it. I lied to therapists.

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Speaker 1: There are therapists out there who still think I have

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Speaker 1: four sisters because I just didn't bring up the fact

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Speaker 1: that I had a dead one and like was just

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Speaker 1: not even going to touch it. It wasn't until like

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Speaker 1: I got sober, and then six years after getting sober,

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Speaker 1: when nothing had gotten better, I was like, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: have to go into therapy for myself. So what age

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Speaker 1: did you get sober? I got sober at twenty four

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Speaker 1: because it was unmanageable. Yes, it was very bad. It

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Speaker 1: was like blacking out, blacking out almost every time, and

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Speaker 1: then often times like trying to hurt myself, trying to

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Speaker 1: like run into traffic or like run at the edge

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Speaker 1: of a roof, and then coming out of this blackout

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Speaker 1: being like like, what's happening, you know, and then everyone

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Speaker 1: around me being just devastated and me pointing at them

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Speaker 1: and being like you're being over dramatic. I'm fine. I

392
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Speaker 1: was drunk, relax, you know. So it wasn't fun. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't like drinking with me as a twenty four year

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Speaker 1: old woman girl. Really it was more like drinking with

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Speaker 1: a seventy two year old man, like it was whose

396
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: wife had taken everything Like it was not he was

397
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Speaker 1: not a fun experience. It wasn't a party. It was

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Speaker 1: like I started the night wanting it to be a party,

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Speaker 1: but then at the end of the night, I'd be like,

400
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Speaker 1: what happened? I feel like some people have an allergy

401
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Speaker 1: to alcohol, like you have an allergic reaction to alcohol,

402
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Speaker 1: like when people call in this show all the time

403
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Speaker 1: about addiction and stuff like that, and it's like it's

404
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Speaker 1: just not for some people. You have to treat it

405
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Speaker 1: like you're allergic to it, like you're allergic to peanuts

406
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Speaker 1: and if you have them, it's going to go badly.

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Speaker 1: Everything is going to be bad for the So did

408
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Speaker 1: anyone intervene, Like what were the circumstances around you? Getting

409
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Speaker 1: no one intervened. I just got myself to a place

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Speaker 1: where I pushed everyone in my life away and isolated

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Speaker 1: myself to the point where I had no one to

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Speaker 1: blame anymore. So I didn't want anybody to get in

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Speaker 1: the way of the way that I liked to drink.

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Speaker 1: But then when everyone was gone, I was like, oh,

415
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Speaker 1: now I can't blame my drinking on anyone else. So

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Speaker 1: I really just got to a point where I was

417
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Speaker 1: alone and had no explanation for why my life was

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Speaker 1: so shitty except for the person in the mirror. And

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Speaker 1: that's kind of how it happened. I mean, I remember,

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Speaker 1: like the day that I got sober, waking up on

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Speaker 1: my floor, no idea how I had gotten home, and

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Speaker 1: looking in the mirror and wanting to cry, but not

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Speaker 1: even being able to because I just I remember looking

424
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 1: at myself trying to cry and going, you are so

425
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 1: full of ship, like just knowing that I was full

426
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 1: of ship, and being like, I know my own number,

427
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,159
Speaker 1: I know what's happening. And it was really people talk

428
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 1: about like having a moment of clarity before they drink.

429
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 1: It really was that, like it was it's it's almost

430
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 1: two on the nose, you know, like me looking in

431
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 1: the mirror and like really seeing myself for the first

432
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 1: time in a long time. And then the night before

433
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: someone had given me their number to like call them

434
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 1: in case I needed to get sober. Just a random

435
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: person on the street that I had invited to come

436
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,400
Speaker 1: drink with me was like, you need help, like an

437
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 1: absolute stranger, And I called her that day and then

438
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: went to like go to a twelve step meeting with

439
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,119
Speaker 1: her that night, and I just got sober. It was

440
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 1: the weirdest, the weirdest thing because it was so anticlimactic.

441
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: And what do you think that was? Do you think

442
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: that was like a divine act? Do you believe in

443
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,119
Speaker 1: God or do you think, like, what do you believe in?

444
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 1: I believe in God, not in the sense of like

445
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 1: I really kind of like bristle when you talk about

446
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: God in the way that I was brought up to

447
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 1: think of God, like punishing, even the sense of karma

448
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,239
Speaker 1: where people talk about like, oh, if you do this,

449
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 1: something bad is going to happen to you later, Like

450
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,679
Speaker 1: people talk about karma in that way. I'm like, No,

451
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 1: that's like a Christian God that you're talking about, but

452
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: you're applying that to karma. I really think it was

453
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 1: just that there's like we have a higher wisdom within ourselves,

454
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 1: and we're there's so much noise in our heads it's

455
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: really hard to hear it. And for me, I just

456
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 1: had this moment where like things got quiet enough for

457
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 1: me to go, oh, you need to you need to

458
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 1: ask for help. And I'm glad. I didn't know that

459
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: asking for help was even like an option or a

460
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 1: thing that people do. I still to this day have

461
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 1: like real problems with asking for help. I could have

462
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,199
Speaker 1: both dogs, I'm walking both dogs, I'm carrying all the

463
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: recycling downstairs. I'm talking on the phone and I'm trying

464
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 1: to unlock a door and my husband's like, can I

465
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: carry something for you? And I'm like, no, I've got it.

466
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 1: And he's like, you don't anything, you don't have any

467
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 1: of you are a mess and and so and I'm

468
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,919
Speaker 1: like I got you know. So it was just this

469
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: one moment where I was relaxed enough to ask and

470
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 1: desperate enough to ask. Yeah. I like what you're saying

471
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 1: about higher wisdom within you, because we do all have

472
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: this reservoir of self esteem, we have this reservoir of confidence,

473
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: we have this reservoir of wisdom, and it's up to

474
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 1: us to like listen to that voice instead of the other,

475
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: you know, ego based things are impulsivity and like not

476
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: really thinking with your higher self, which is also makes

477
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 1: me cringe too. But like I've gotten down on my

478
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 1: knees and I do this regularly to say thank you God.

479
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: And I say God, but I don't mean that, you know.

480
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 1: I mean like, whatever is going on in the universe,

481
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: whatever organizing principles that we don't know about that are happening,

482
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you for fucking making that happen and

483
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 1: making this happen and making my life pleasurable and not painful,

484
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,239
Speaker 1: you know, overall, and all of those things. So and

485
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 1: that's well, it's a good segue into taking some calls

486
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: because it's a good thing for women to constantly remind

487
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 1: each other of you know that you do have it

488
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: within you. It's like so many people think that they

489
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: don't have that. It's like we all have it. It's

490
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: just are you able to tap into it? And do

491
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,120
Speaker 1: you care enough to make the effort and to actually

492
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: listen to your real voice? Right? Yeah? Absolutely, Okay, great,

493
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: So that's Katherine. Or shall we take some calls for

494
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 1: a rose button myself. Yeah, and let's take a quick

495
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 1: ad break first and we'll come back with some coolers. Okay,

496
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: sounds good. Our first question comes from E. Dear Chelsea,

497
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 1: is this E the network I told them not to. Unfortunately,

498
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: I'm in a new relationship about five months. He's super

499
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 1: hot and the sex is unreal. We have a great relationship,

500
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 1: but when he gets really drunk, he makes rude comments

501
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 1: to me. For example, he'll say, you're such an idiot,

502
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: you say the dumbest things, or this is one of

503
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 1: the reasons I don't want to be with you. He

504
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 1: always says sorry in the morning, but I just don't

505
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: get what his deal is. I know he loves me,

506
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: and his friends always tell me how much he loves me,

507
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: but I'm piste off with the rude comments when he's drunk.

508
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 1: Please let me know if this is a red flag

509
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: or if I can fix it. Cheers E. Well, I'll

510
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: start with a personal story of my own. That is

511
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 1: a kind of behavior that is excusable one or two

512
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,919
Speaker 1: times if you're drinking, and nothing really more than that.

513
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: It cannot be an habitual thing. I did that with

514
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: Joe actually in the beginning of our relationship. I got

515
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 1: really wasted and I said some really nasty things, not

516
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 1: to him, but just nasty things that were not in

517
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 1: my that are not in my character, but clearly are

518
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 1: somewhere in my brain because they came out of my mouth.

519
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna blame Agua Caliente the casino on my behavior

520
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: because of the decor and uh, the extreme heat. But

521
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 1: we still he and I still talk about whenever anything

522
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 1: is bordering or things are getting over the edge, he

523
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: goes Aguacaliente. Because he didn't speak to me for three days,

524
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 1: and this was at the very beginning of our relationship.

525
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 1: I won't repeat what I said because it was pointless.

526
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 1: But the point is that is not ever going to

527
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: happen again because I will not allow that to ever

528
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: happen again. So, you know, you make the first time

529
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 1: the last time. But if this is a habitual thing

530
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 1: with him, then that is a problem. You know, you

531
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 1: can't be spoken to like that by somebody that is

532
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: supposed to love you, regardless of what his friends say.

533
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:05,959
Speaker 1: So if he only says that when he drinks, then

534
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 1: he needs to be mindful when he drinks. And if

535
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 1: he can't control himself when he drinks, then he can't drink.

536
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: So those are the options, and I would be curious,

537
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 1: do we have her on the phone. No, this one

538
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: was just an email, But I mean the fact that

539
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: she ends it with is it something I can fix.

540
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,120
Speaker 1: We've all been there. That was the thing for me

541
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 1: where I was like, oh no, no, no, no, you

542
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: can't fix it at all. This is one of those

543
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:33,160
Speaker 1: things where if I were in this position, I would go, Okay,

544
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 1: I've said this can't happen again, and it's happened. So

545
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: am I ready to leave now? Or how many times

546
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: more can this happen before I had out the door,

547
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: because I would just immediately be like, I have to

548
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,199
Speaker 1: be really strict about boundaries like that. And even if

549
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: I feel like, okay, I'm just not ready to leave

550
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 1: right this second, I'm gonna let it happen max twice

551
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 1: more and then I'm out, you know, and let him

552
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: know this is how it is. I'm going to go.

553
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: The rest is up to him. You really have to

554
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: put it in his lap. I mean, the sex might

555
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: be great, but there's great sex everywhere. Yeah, there is,

556
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 1: there's great sex everywhere. There are seven billion people on

557
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: the planet, and you know, like you can't be called

558
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: an idiot, like once I get it. People make mistakes,

559
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 1: that's fine, but not repeatedly. So if it's something that's

560
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: happened multiple times, then you actually need to set a

561
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: boundary and that you know, and it has to do

562
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: with drinking. Yeah, yeah, that's tricky too because it's like

563
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: it might not change. I mean, if I were in

564
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: that position, I would be like, my bet is that

565
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 1: it's not going to change, because I'm if I start

566
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: to immediately go, he'll he'll do it, He'll change, It'll

567
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: be fine. Then I get stuck in a pattern of

568
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: not being able to leave someone that I don't belong with,

569
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,479
Speaker 1: you know. So it's tricky, but you have to have

570
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 1: really good boundaries. You have to get out of there

571
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: if you if you can. Yeah, well what was the

572
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: writer's name? E? Oh yeah, right of course. Okay, So

573
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: hopefully that will help you because yeah, you have to

574
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: be respected. Remember that. You know, if you wouldn't accept

575
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 1: it for your sister or your daughter or your niece,

576
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: then you don't accept it for yourself. Amen, amen, Arcelamaum, Well,

577
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: our next submission comes from a caller, Diana. She says

578
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea. My partner and I do not plan on

579
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: having kids. I never felt the urge and place high

580
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: value on my independence. I'm now in my mid thirties

581
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: and all of my friends lives revolve around their children.

582
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 1: I find we have little to talk about and it's

583
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 1: hard to make plans due to our different lifestyles. They're

584
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 1: also able to make new friends through their kids, an

585
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 1: outlet I obviously don't have. I feel like I don't

586
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 1: have any strong friendships anymore, and I'm struggling to meet

587
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 1: new people because of my choice to be child free.

588
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: My husband can't relate at all. His friendships are pretty

589
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: much unchanged despite him being the only one who's child

590
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: free of his friends must be a guy thing. What

591
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: advice do you have to help me maintain my current

592
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 1: friendships as well as find some new like minded friends, Diana, Well,

593
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: that's good because i'm, you know, steadfastly childless, and I

594
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: take a lot of pride in that. But I also

595
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: have a lot of girlfriends that have children, and that's

596
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: fine too, because I do like children. I just don't

597
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: want my own. I mean, I don't, you know, love them.

598
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: I like them, though, and when I have good friends.

599
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: I love their children just by virtue of loving them.

600
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: So I would say, hey, you have to make a

601
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: little bit more of an effort with your friends that

602
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: are married with children to let them know that you're

603
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: down for that too, because that's part of the package.

604
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: You know, some friends have children and then that becomes

605
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: their package and it's your level of tolerance and if

606
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: you really care about those relationships. Oh well, we have

607
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: Diana right here. I always forget what kind of podcast

608
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: this is Diana. Hi, Hi, Hi, how are you? I'm good?

609
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: How are you good? This is Rosebud Diana Rosebud, Hi Chelsea.

610
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 1: So nice to meet you. So are you? Do you

611
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: feel like you're putting an effort forth with your friends

612
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: who have children. I am, to be honest, though I

613
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: have nothing to add sometimes to the conversations, and maybe

614
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: it's just the point in life on that, but where

615
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: my kids. My friends all have younger children, and that's

616
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: really all they want to talk about. Yeah, anything going

617
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: on in my life. We'll talk about it for maybe

618
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: thirty seconds, and then it's like, Okay, look what my

619
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: four year old did, isn't it? Oh my god? This

620
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: person said that. Yeah, So it's it's a little frustrating.

621
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: So I almost feel like I'm putting the effort in,

622
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: but maybe it's not reciprocated. I'm in the same position.

623
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: My best friend just had a kid, and every time

624
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: she picks up FaceTime, the FaceTime is on her child

625
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 1: who can't speak. And I'm like, I love this kid

626
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: because I love my friend, like you said, but it's

627
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: you think you're gonna lose your friend to like a

628
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: new boyfriend. This is like a million times worse, you know,

629
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: this is just it's so it's so hard because it's

630
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: also she talks about also there's no chance of them

631
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 1: breaking up. There's no chance. I mean, I keep being like,

632
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: I can't wait for this kid to be eighteen, and

633
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: but it really is like it's, first of all, I'm

634
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 1: sorry that you're going through this because it is hard.

635
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: It's it makes you sad, even though you're happy for

636
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: your friend, it does make you sad. But I think

637
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,479
Speaker 1: that in terms of like making new friends, what do

638
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: you do. I'm a c p A, Your c p A, okay,

639
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: and so are there people at work that you're that

640
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: are child free or yeah, I have a couple of friends.

641
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: So the problem with work is that, which is not

642
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: a problem on the boss. So I can't really it's

643
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: hard to make friends with your employees, like you're actually

644
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: not really supposed to do that. Yeah, right, that's annoying.

645
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: They're gonna be like, oh, the boss is going through something,

646
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 1: she's really trying to make friends with all of us exactly.

647
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: So yeah, so there's that. But even in my day

648
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: to day, like at the gym or places I go normally,

649
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 1: there's really not a lot of us out there. Yeah,

650
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: where do you live? I live in New York. I

651
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 1: live on Long Island. Yeah okay, Well, I mean what

652
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: do you do? What are the things that you do

653
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: outside of work? You go to the gym, what do

654
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: I so I belong to across the gym, which is

655
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: known to be like very social, which it is. Outside

656
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 1: of that, there's I work a lot, which is probably

657
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: not a great answer. And I see family a lot.

658
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: I have a close, close knit, extended family. But yeah,

659
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 1: the pandemic is probably part of it, right, Yeah, that

660
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,479
Speaker 1: kind of exacerbated everything. Right, anything that's not great in

661
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: your life is exacerbated by the pandemic because it's just

662
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: everybody became so reclusive and like stayed in within their

663
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: like kind of nuclear families. But I would say, what

664
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: were you going to say, Rosebud. I was going to

665
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: say that, you know, adding more hobbies to your life

666
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: and sort of enriching your own life, you will, I mean,

667
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 1: friends will be a byproduct of that. But just if

668
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: your friends aren't putting the kind of interest into your

669
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: life that you would want them to, I think putting

670
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: your own interests into your life, it's that's gonna benefit

671
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 1: you even more. And it won't matter whether or not

672
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: they're asking about what you're up to, because you're going

673
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: to be so into what you're up to that you

674
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,239
Speaker 1: don't mind talking about their kids because their lives are

675
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 1: gonna seem boring to you. I mean, it's it'll be

676
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 1: like community service, you know. I mean. And that's not

677
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: shipping on life with kids. I'm just saying I think

678
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: the more you have going on, the less it's going

679
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: to matter to you what they think of it or

680
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: what they're asking about it. Yeah. I mean I've had

681
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: friends who overdo it with their babies and think that

682
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to be like a godmother or like their auntie,

683
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,439
Speaker 1: and it's like, hey, no, me less. Okay, I've been

684
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: very clear about how I feel about newborn babies, and

685
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: if you have a baby, that's your baby, not my baby,

686
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 1: So don't put me on a FaceTime with your baby.

687
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 1: I had a friend who did that. We were away

688
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 1: on vacation and she must have FaceTime her baby fifteen

689
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 1: times one day, and every single time put me on

690
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: the phone with her. And so I said, hey, you've

691
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 1: got like that's an extreme example of the situation. But

692
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 1: I think I couldn't agree with rosebud more because it's like,

693
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: when you have your own stuff going on, like you

694
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: do need to find new hobbies. You need to like,

695
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: you know, whatever you're interested in. Athletic wise, change it up,

696
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: go to a different CrossFit, join it outdoor gym, joined

697
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: a sailing club, or any of these like very corny

698
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,720
Speaker 1: sounding things. Is how single people actually facilitate new relationships,

699
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 1: whether they're romantic or whether they're non romantic. It's like,

700
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: that's how you make friends is by changing the dynamics

701
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 1: of your day to day life and actually putting yourself

702
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 1: out there in a different way. It's like what people

703
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: have to experience when they want to date somebody. It's like, oh, funk.

704
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 1: How do I do it? It's the same thing for

705
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: finding new friends, you know, because you're not alone. There

706
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: are millions of single women out there that are just

707
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: like you. You know, I'm like you. I'm not I'm

708
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: not ever going to have a kid, So I I

709
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: get it. But I do believe when you do fill

710
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 1: up your own kind of cup, you know, then you're

711
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: not looking at how full other people's cups are. You're

712
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 1: kind of just all at your little tea party, so

713
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: to speak, and you're not going to be annoyed by

714
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 1: having to hear about two or three year old, no

715
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 1: matter how annoying that is, which it is. It is

716
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: annoying when a person becomes a parent and their entire

717
00:35:56,239 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 1: identity is locked into being a mommy. It's curating. Yeah,

718
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: it's like watching your friend just vaporize in front of you.

719
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 1: It's very sad. Absolutely, it's so interesting because my husband

720
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: is not going through this at all. Like his friends

721
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 1: barely talk about their kids. Men don't talk about anything interesting.

722
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: They have four stories each, you know what I mean.

723
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: They all have four stories in the save drafts folder. Yeah,

724
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 1: and it's boring and it's there's no depth, and so

725
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 1: I can understand why you feel that way with regard,

726
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 1: but hey, listen, at least you have a husband. There

727
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 1: you go right there, you go home. Run on that.

728
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: So what kind of hobbies do you think of off

729
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 1: the top of your head that you could get into.

730
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,879
Speaker 1: I do wish I had more time to volunteer, so

731
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: I can always make that time. I have a couple

732
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: of rescue dogs, so who I love, and I love

733
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: the organization I got them from, so it probably would

734
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: be a good thing to go and do some volunteer

735
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: work with them. Yeah, and what about taking your dogs

736
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 1: to the dog park. There's people all the time at

737
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: dog parks. That's like a big hook up spot. I've

738
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 1: never brought them to one where I'm living. Yeah, I

739
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 1: think there's like, there's so many child free people living

740
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: in the world, and especially around New York and around

741
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,320
Speaker 1: the coasts, I think less so maybe in the Midwest.

742
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: But I think that our generation is actually the first

743
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,879
Speaker 1: generation that is. I would say it's really split, like

744
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,799
Speaker 1: having kids is an actual choice, a lifestyle choice, and

745
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: a lot of us are opting out. And I think

746
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 1: that it might be hard to be that example. But

747
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 1: if you think of yourself as that. I was like,

748
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: you're an inspiration to people that might not really ever

749
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: want kids, that would that would have had them because

750
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: they felt like they had to, you know. Yeah, And also, like,

751
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:44,919
Speaker 1: you know, a good example of this is in my life,

752
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: I went skiing. I love skiing and that's my hobby,

753
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,840
Speaker 1: and I went skiing last year for four months. I

754
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 1: went to Whistler, Canada, and I went by myself because

755
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 1: the borders were closed. I couldn't go with my family.

756
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 1: I had never gone to Whistler alone without friends or

757
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: family before, so I had to make friends and I

758
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 1: had ever had. I haven't had to make new friends

759
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: in a really long time. And I became like a

760
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 1: local yokel and Whistler and I had made like eight awesome,

761
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: great girlfriends. Some of them are single, some of them

762
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 1: are married. We just went on a trip to Spain

763
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 1: together for two weeks, all eight of us. And I mean,

764
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: I'm forty six years old and these are my girlfriends

765
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 1: from like you know, I just met them last year.

766
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 1: So you're always meeting people, especially when you find something

767
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,800
Speaker 1: that you're excited about, whether it's like you know, I

768
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 1: I have a problem listing hobbies because they I'm like,

769
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: I want to say, what did they do in that

770
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:38,800
Speaker 1: Demi Moore movie which ghost ghost? Where she was hobbies?

771
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: All I can think of is pottery, Like my skin

772
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: crawls every time I say happy because I'm like pottery. No,

773
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 1: I don't mean pottery, but like surfing, surfing, fucking go

774
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: to the beach, you know, doing yoga, outdoor, going into

775
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: like group meditation, any of that ship that you're interested in.

776
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: You can find a place to do that in large groups.

777
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: And you know, and now it's safer to do that,

778
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: so you can put yourself out there a little bit more.

779
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 1: And I guarantee you you will meet some people that

780
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 1: you're interested in hanging out with. Live a life that

781
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: people with kids are jealous of. You know, I'm sure

782
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: they're a little bit jealous. They just want admitted. Make

783
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 1: them more jealous and make them all realize what a

784
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: big mistake they've made, and keep us posted. Let us

785
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 1: know how that goes, let us know how your progress goes.

786
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,800
Speaker 1: But you're fine, Listen. You're normal, You're really attractive, you're smart,

787
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 1: you have a great job, you have a husband. There's

788
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: like there's you're not you're not threatening, you're a perfect

789
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 1: person to be friends with. So the opportunity is there,

790
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 1: so go for it. Thank you, Thank you, so welcome.

791
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 1: You're so welcome. Nice speaking to you. Yeah, you too,

792
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Take care well, we have probably

793
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: room for one more. We have how to date in

794
00:39:56,239 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 1: New York while sober or secret base be and anger

795
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 1: around that secret baby. She's actually on the line as well,

796
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: So alright, secret baby it is. Our next question comes

797
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: from caller named Lee. She says, Dear Chelsea. Last year,

798
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: before the pandemic, I started dating a man who I've

799
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,720
Speaker 1: known for almost ten years. We dated for about six months.

800
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: Things weren't going great. I knew he was not the one,

801
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 1: and eventually we broke up, but not before I ended

802
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 1: up pregnant with his child. I'm thirty five, I have

803
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: a career and a good life. I didn't always want

804
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 1: to be a mother, but something about this pregnancy felt right.

805
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: I knew it was going to keep the baby, and

806
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 1: nothing would change my mind. At first, he asked if

807
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: we could co parent, but eventually it became clear that

808
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 1: he didn't want to be part of the baby's life.

809
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: So I decided to have the baby and raise her

810
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: on my own. With no help from him physically or financially.

811
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 1: Here I am five months later, and my daughter is

812
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 1: the greatest joy. And yet at times I find myself angry.

813
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: Angry because he has a seventeen year old daughter who

814
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: has no idea about her half sister. Angry because he

815
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 1: got back together with the girl he was in a

816
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 1: relationship with before me and she has no clue about

817
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: me or my baby. Angry that they bought a brand new,

818
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 1: expensive home together and yet he hasn't given a penny

819
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 1: to his child. I'm angry for so many reasons, but

820
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 1: most of all, I'm angry because she deserves better than

821
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 1: to be kept a secret. So my question is this,

822
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: how do I let go of the anger? Highly? Hili Hi?

823
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 1: How are you? I'm doing well? How are you guys?

824
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: We're doing well. Thanks. Okay, First of all, you need

825
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 1: to get the book Letting Go by David Hawkings. Okay,

826
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:40,879
Speaker 1: that is a great book. Do you know the book?

827
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 1: But I read this book all the time because it's

828
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: about letting go of shit that a you are the

829
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 1: architect of first of all, so let's remember that because

830
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 1: you you made these rules and you created these boundaries

831
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 1: with him about not being involved. So you can't be

832
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: angry at that because that was your decision. If you

833
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 1: want to change your decision, then you can. That's a

834
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 1: separate conversation that you can have with him right moving forward.

835
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,760
Speaker 1: But right now, you deciding to have this baby without

836
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,479
Speaker 1: help from him financially, without help from him emotionally, blah

837
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: blah blah. That was your decision. No, No, that was

838
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 1: that was my decision. I mean, he made it pretty

839
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 1: clear that he didn't want anything to do with the baby,

840
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: but I mean, in the end, it was my decision, right,

841
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: And are you in a position now where you actually

842
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: need help from him? Okay? So where so is the resentment?

843
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,359
Speaker 1: Where's the resentment coming from? Is it on behalf of

844
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 1: the baby or on behalf of your daughter? Yeah? Definitely.

845
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: Like I just I just feel angry that, like how

846
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,879
Speaker 1: could you just not tell anybody about her? Like how

847
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,239
Speaker 1: could you just keep her complete secret? Like I feel

848
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 1: like she deserves a little bit more than that. And

849
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: also I feel like maybe a little bit guilty that

850
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: I brought her into this world and she's not going

851
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 1: to have a father figure. So I think underneath the anger,

852
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: there's a lot Well, I had a father figure, and

853
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 1: he did. Jack shipped for me, So I just want you.

854
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: It's not necessarily the best thing to have a dad. Yeah,

855
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: that's a great point, listen. I mean the way you're

856
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 1: just talking about him, in the way he sounds, you know,

857
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 1: saying he wants nothing to do with the baby, It's

858
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 1: like you are doing her a favor. You know, you're

859
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: just looking at it from a different vantage point, and

860
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,399
Speaker 1: if you look at it from that kind of her view,

861
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 1: it's different. Like you don't just want anybody in your

862
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 1: daughter's life. You want the right person in your daughter's life,

863
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: which hopefully you're going to meet, you know, sooner than later.

864
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 1: And you should be focusing your attention and your energy

865
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 1: on that positivity rather than looking in the rear view

866
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:40,439
Speaker 1: mirror and thinking about his other daughter, who gives a ship.

867
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 1: She probably hates him too. Anyway, you know, you're there

868
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: for your daughter. You're enjoying how much you love your daughter.

869
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 1: I had a similar conversation like this with my cousin

870
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,839
Speaker 1: because the father of her two children also walked out.

871
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 1: He's never seen them. These two kids are adorable, beautiful,

872
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: they're older now, and she remember us being in Mexico

873
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: and her not being able to let go of the

874
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: resentment that she had that he didn't get to understand

875
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 1: how amazing these two kids were. And I was like, yes,

876
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: but he's never going to understand you're here because you

877
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: do understand how amazing these two kids are. So instead

878
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,920
Speaker 1: of focusing on what you don't have, focusing on what

879
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: you can have. You know, you can find a guy

880
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,840
Speaker 1: or a partner or whatever you're into at some point

881
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 1: that is going to appreciate everything you've done on your

882
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 1: own and it's going to look at you and go, Wow,

883
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: what a strong fucking woman to know to leave that

884
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 1: guy out of it. And a huge opportunity for a

885
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: guy who wants children to you know, to be with

886
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: somebody who's got a child and he's raising her by

887
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: herself's completely capable and competent. You know, these are all

888
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: sides of extreme strength. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's I

889
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 1: think that you have so much to look forward to

890
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: and you right now it's hard because it's five months later.

891
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: I mean, you have a five month old baby. It's

892
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: it's natural that you would look at him and be like,

893
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: I can't believe you don't want any part of you know,

894
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: because it's overwhelming. It's like it's just mind bogglingly overwhelming

895
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: and hard. But I think that eventually you're going to

896
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: be so happy that you made the decision that you

897
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: did and that you don't have to be involved with him,

898
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,919
Speaker 1: and then he can just be someone that brought you

899
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 1: to your daughter, and then you don't have to look

900
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 1: at him with such resentment. You can look at him

901
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 1: as like, you know, he's like a non thing, but

902
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 1: he he was the person that brought you your daughter.

903
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a great way to look at it.

904
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 1: You know, some people are there just to deliver something,

905
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: and and so many men are just there to deliver

906
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: semen and that's pretty much all that they are useful for.

907
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: And that's what you got. You got a beautiful baby

908
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 1: girl that you're enjoying, and you need to focus on

909
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: your love for her. And you can call him a

910
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 1: sperm donor. You can just call him a sperm donor, right.

911
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: You know, when when your daughter grows up and she's like,

912
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 1: I want to meet if she ever asks to meet him,

913
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: you could say, I have a sperm donor. He's not

914
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 1: your father, but I have or donna. Yeah, and then

915
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: how cool is it that you worked that hard to

916
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 1: get your baby? You know, so this narrative is working

917
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 1: on both sides of things. We're basically encouraging her to

918
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: lie to her daughter. But you know, but no, it's

919
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: not a lie because he is a sperm doughnut. He is.

920
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: What else did he do? Right? Absolutely? Right? And you also,

921
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: as soon as you start dating, are you? I mean

922
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: you're obviously not dating anybody right now? You sound like

923
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 1: you're probably pretty busy with your baby. Yeah, as soon

924
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 1: as you start dating people and getting out there and

925
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: you're feeling ready to do that, you're going to realize

926
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 1: that you're all fine. You know, this is all good,

927
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 1: and there's gonna be more opportunities for having him out

928
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 1: of your life than not for having him out of

929
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 1: your life. Agreed. Amen, I hear that. I hear that.

930
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:48,320
Speaker 1: Thank you. Do you have anything else you want to add? Lee? No,

931
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 1: not really, I mean I like you said that, I don't.

932
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,799
Speaker 1: I don't need anything from him. I guess it's more

933
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:58,320
Speaker 1: of let it go and look forward and but seriously

934
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 1: pick up that book by by Day. But Hawkings, I

935
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 1: think it's David Hawkings, right? Is that his name? Letting

936
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 1: go read that book. It's it's it's it's like deep,

937
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: but it really explains to you what you're holding onto

938
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 1: when you hold on to like negative thought patterns and

939
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,760
Speaker 1: negative energy, and you don't want to spread that around

940
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: to your daughter really, so start there and report back. Okay,

941
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: thanks Lee, I I yeah I would, because he would

942
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 1: just be a second child. Yeah. It's funny though, when

943
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 1: you when people have babies, they want everyone to love

944
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: the baby the way they do. So that's like my

945
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: friend who was face timing with her baby. It's like, no, no,

946
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 1: I'm not the father of your baby, right and not

947
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 1: even we're not even related, but like people want that.

948
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: They wanted to share that and they want everyone to

949
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,919
Speaker 1: see how great their baby is. And it's like, yeah,

950
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: it's just you should be enjoying it. Yeah, exactly. We

951
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 1: are going to take a quick break so you can

952
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:59,240
Speaker 1: hear and add and then we'll be right back. So, Chelsea,

953
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: I got an email this week, and it was from

954
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: someone who has an email that's very close to our

955
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com email. She said,

956
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 1: occasionally she gets emails from our listeners looking for advice.

957
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: She's directed a few over to us and when people

958
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 1: talk about tough stuff, it gets hard not to acknowledge

959
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 1: their pain. So she's going to afford those messages to us.

960
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: She said, people seem to really love the show, keep

961
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: up the good work. And her name is also Chelsea.

962
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 1: Oh and she has a Dear Chelsea email. Okay, so

963
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: let's clarify for people. It's Dear Chelsea Project, right correct

964
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Okay,

965
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: so everybody sends your emails to Dear Chelsea Project at

966
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Please don't hit up other Chelsea's because

967
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: we want, obviously this to come our way so that

968
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 1: we can help you. So you don't feel like you're

969
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 1: being ignored because you're emailing the wrong person. Yes, so

970
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 1: we can stop spamming the wrong Chelsea. Yeah, I'm glad

971
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 1: to know there are so many Chelsea's out there. I

972
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: like to take credit for that. And we have another

973
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:04,359
Speaker 1: little quick question as well. I should get a bunch

974
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 1: of these. This is from Mickey. Mickey says, I'm in

975
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: a predicament. I really want to go to the Vaccinated

976
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,400
Speaker 1: and Horny Tour, but the problem is I don't have

977
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: anyone that will go with me. Either they don't appreciate

978
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 1: comedy or they're busy. Can I get some advice on

979
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: what to do? I mean, I don't know, just go

980
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 1: by yourself. What's the issue there? People go to shows

981
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: by themselves all the time. My friend just want to

982
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 1: go see Joe Coy by herself because she was in

983
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 1: New York City and he was playing Radio City and

984
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 1: she's like, I don't know if anyone to go with

985
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 1: and I said go alone, and then she, of course

986
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 1: she went alone. Yeah, go alone, that's fine. I like

987
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 1: that no one will go with you though, that's funny.

988
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 1: I personally love to go to like a movie theater

989
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 1: or whatever alone, So I used to go. I used

990
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 1: to go to the movies all the time by myself.

991
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: I loved going to the movie theater by myself. I

992
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 1: haven't done that in about ten years, mostly because it

993
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 1: feels like movie theaters shut down before COVID for some reason.

994
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 1: It feels like they've been shut down for a long time.

995
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 1: It seems like an antiquated notion going to the movies.

996
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: But I would like to go back one day alone. Also,

997
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,839
Speaker 1: I have what shows do I have coming up? This week?

998
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,720
Speaker 1: I have Rochester, Buffalo, and Syracuse. If you haven't gotten

999
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:13,919
Speaker 1: tickets to Rochester, Buffalo or Syracuse, you can still get them.

1000
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 1: And we just added second shows to Toronto, Vancouver, Seattle,

1001
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,919
Speaker 1: and Winnipeg. So second shows have been added in all

1002
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 1: of those markets because of my Canadians love me and

1003
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 1: I love my Canadians. So I will either see you

1004
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 1: in Canadian Land or American Land. You decide. Well, Katherine,

1005
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: what was the theme of today's I mean, I get

1006
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 1: a secret baby, but it's not a secret. Yeah, wild card,

1007
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:44,879
Speaker 1: you know, relationships. We had a bad boyfriend. We talked

1008
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 1: a lot about sobriety today and not having kids. I'm

1009
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 1: just happy I have a new sober friend, rosebud to

1010
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 1: be to be completely honest, because usually I try and

1011
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: steer clear of sober people. Um well, most of us

1012
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 1: are admittedly very preachy. I've I've met a lot of

1013
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:05,320
Speaker 1: us that are a lot yeah yeah, well sometimes I

1014
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 1: made people that get sober, Like I have these two

1015
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: gay friends, Kevin and Brian, that I've been friends with

1016
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,239
Speaker 1: for like twenty years, twenty five years, and they one

1017
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 1: of them got sober when he was eighteen, and I

1018
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: was like Brian that I cannot take that seriously, because

1019
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 1: at eighteen we're all fucking alcoholics. I'm like, you didn't

1020
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 1: even give yourself a chance to experiment and try. I

1021
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 1: could stroll yourself. You just assume that you because you

1022
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 1: had it in your family, you had to give up alcohol,

1023
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: and like, I disagree with that. You have to prove that.

1024
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: First of all, you have to prove that you live

1025
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 1: up to the family hype. You know, you got to

1026
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 1: really test it out. Do you have a lot of

1027
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,920
Speaker 1: alcoholism and your family. I do. I have a lot

1028
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 1: of alcoholism and family. I've got an uncle and an

1029
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 1: aunt that met and rehab well, one of she's dead now,

1030
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 1: but I did never I never really knew her, like

1031
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 1: they were together and then they gave each other like

1032
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,439
Speaker 1: hepatitis and that one's dad anyway, And then my mom

1033
00:51:55,520 --> 00:52:01,359
Speaker 1: is an alcoholic, she's sober. My dad is definitely questionable.

1034
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I really do think that it's like up

1035
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 1: to people to decide if they are you know, yeah, yeah,

1036
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:08,839
Speaker 1: of course, of course it's not up for other people's right.

1037
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, so I just go, well, he loves to drink,

1038
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:15,239
Speaker 1: I know that. Yeah, you know what, Chelsea, I I

1039
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:17,359
Speaker 1: wanted to get a little piece of advice from you.

1040
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: While I was coming over here, I was thinking about this,

1041
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 1: Oh wonderful. I love I love questions. I love questions,

1042
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: and I love answers absolutely. I was dying to ask

1043
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:32,720
Speaker 1: this because I have been struggling so hard with work

1044
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: life balance where I truly I'll be with my husband

1045
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 1: on a date and then I get an email and

1046
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm checking the email or I'm like doing

1047
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 1: I'm just constantly I'm in a place in my career

1048
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:48,240
Speaker 1: where I can't really slow down, and I can tell

1049
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 1: that it's annoying him, but he's also like totally understandable.

1050
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: He's in the same industry. He gets it. So I'm

1051
00:52:56,080 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: just wondering how you how to do this work balance

1052
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:03,399
Speaker 1: thing that I hear so much about and I never

1053
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 1: see anybody really nailing it. Like I read this book

1054
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 1: called Essentialism, which talks about not doing even if you're

1055
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 1: walking down the street and you're on your phone, you're

1056
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: doing both of those things poorly, you know what I mean.

1057
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 1: So if you're out to dinner with your husband and

1058
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 1: you're checking your phone, like there is nothing that can't

1059
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 1: wait an hour, there just isn't, you know. And if

1060
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 1: there is something that can't wait an hour. You shouldn't

1061
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 1: be out to dinner, you know, so like when you're

1062
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:27,240
Speaker 1: out and you're having times like, it's just healthier for everyone.

1063
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 1: I know you want to hustle, and I know you're

1064
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 1: at a point your career where you feel like, Okay,

1065
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 1: there's all these opportunities happening, and absolutely you're right. You

1066
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 1: should hustle. You should be paying attention. You want to

1067
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 1: lay the foundation so that you can have all the

1068
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:39,919
Speaker 1: time in the world later to do whatever the funk

1069
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 1: you want. Right, But there's no harm and you will

1070
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 1: reap benefits when you set aside time for the people

1071
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,799
Speaker 1: you love so that it is just you and him

1072
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 1: and there are no phones and there are no emails,

1073
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 1: and just commit yourself to that, even if it's two

1074
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 1: hours a week, you know what I mean, whatever you

1075
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 1: can do a day, if it's thirty minutes a day,

1076
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,760
Speaker 1: you know, at dinner or like an hour at dinner

1077
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 1: or whatever you can afford to do you at a

1078
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: certain time of day, it doesn't matter if you get

1079
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 1: back to people thirty minutes later, I can. So it's

1080
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,920
Speaker 1: just about making that commitment. And it's like it's just

1081
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: no fun to be around somebody who's constantly distracted. So

1082
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:18,800
Speaker 1: if you that is who I am, I truly am always,

1083
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 1: So just start out with a tiny little thing. Every

1084
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 1: big problem takes one little step and then all of

1085
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 1: a sudden you're like, oh, this is so much more manageable,

1086
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: you know. And if you just say, hey, from seven

1087
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:30,439
Speaker 1: to eight, you and I aren't gonna be on our phones.

1088
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:31,759
Speaker 1: Or if you're performing and you want to make it

1089
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 1: a different time, like in the morning, you can have

1090
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 1: an hour of no phone time. Just do that so

1091
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,960
Speaker 1: that he feels like you're present, that you love him,

1092
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 1: that he's the priority, because so many times it can

1093
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 1: feel like your career is the problem. Know, if I

1094
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: want him to feel like the priority, well needed for

1095
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:48,879
Speaker 1: half an hour maybe, and the rest of the day,

1096
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 1: he's going to feel like it anyway, So why not

1097
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: just ka But I mean, I'm all about vacation time

1098
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 1: because I fucking relish it. I just love it, you know.

1099
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 1: Like even Joe, it is like he's like, I've never

1100
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:04,240
Speaker 1: been in a situation where I wanted to be travel

1101
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 1: the world with someone. I was like, buddy, that's what

1102
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 1: I'm doing, Like we are doing that and he's like, no, no,

1103
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 1: I want to. I want to now, you know, we've

1104
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: worked so hard and it's like the problem is like

1105
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 1: we don't think about that when we're coming up. We

1106
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 1: just want to get credit and we want to get like, yeah,

1107
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:21,799
Speaker 1: we want our place in this business. And there's a

1108
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:26,440
Speaker 1: hunger and there's a clawiness and desperation about that. That

1109
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 1: isn't It has to be balanced with focused attention on

1110
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 1: a person that you love and focused attention on something

1111
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: you love. So I would just say that about that solved.

1112
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 1: Another problem solved. You guys, check out Whiskey Ft on

1113
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: Comedy Central and then look out for Rosebuds new show,

1114
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 1: and when we find out where that's gonna be, we

1115
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,760
Speaker 1: will let you know on this podcast and everywhere else.

1116
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,799
Speaker 1: Would follow her on Instagram yeah yeah, and listen to

1117
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 1: my podcast Find Your Beach. Yes, listen to her podcast

1118
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: Find Your Beach, everybody. I hope you have a wonderful

1119
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 1: day in New York City. Thank you. I hope you

1120
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 1: are you? Are you taking We're going back to l A?

1121
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:05,279
Speaker 1: Oh nice? All right? How's the house in l A?

1122
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 1: Are you in the are you in your house? Now?

1123
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 1: I know I just bought a new house in l A. Okay, yeah,

1124
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: I'd sold my house when my family invaded my house

1125
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 1: during COVID because I realized there were too many bedrooms

1126
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 1: and they all wanted to live there, and they did.

1127
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 1: And then I put the house on the market and

1128
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,920
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm downsizing. I only want two bedrooms.

1129
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 1: I don't want any visitors. And then of course I

1130
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 1: bought a house exactly like the old house I had,

1131
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 1: so obviously I have no plans I make ever come

1132
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 1: to fruition, and I'm just like completely in denial about

1133
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,799
Speaker 1: my own existence. I know. I'm like, I'm gonna just

1134
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 1: get like a pieda tear, and I'm like, where in

1135
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 1: l A. They don't even have those? And then my

1136
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 1: friends like, why don't you move in with Joe. I'm

1137
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,920
Speaker 1: my keyless in Studio City. Do not get carried away,

1138
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,319
Speaker 1: cannot make it over to the valley. Yeah, no, no, no,

1139
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:50,840
Speaker 1: that's not going to happen. But enjoy. I hope you

1140
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 1: have a good flight back, and I hope you enjoy

1141
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 1: your fourteen bedroom pia tear. When I'm looking forward to

1142
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,759
Speaker 1: most on my return light is the the announcement that

1143
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: the pilot makes at the beginning of the flight, instructing

1144
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 1: people not to hit the flight attendants. So I mean,

1145
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:14,920
Speaker 1: can you fucking believe people anyway, have a great day everybody.

1146
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 1: We'll be back next week. Thanks Rose, Bud, thank you,