Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
Speaker 2: She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the
Speaker 2: man of the house, and of course.
Speaker 3: She didn't talk back.
Speaker 2: She was both.
Speaker 3: Obedient and soft by nature.
Speaker 2: She was a good woman who always made good choices.
Speaker 3: That we're good mom's bad choices? Who single mom? Who said?
Speaker 3: But the patriarchy shared all their bad choices and found
Speaker 3: out they were so bad after all, we're experts. Overhairs
Speaker 3: and your new vestie. Sit back and near the ride.
Speaker 3: I can do a pat on my I can do
Speaker 3: on my Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm
Speaker 3: Erica and I'm Mela. Happy hump Day, Beaches, Happy hump Day.
Speaker 3: How are you feeling? I feel good good. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: how are you feeling? I'm pretty good. Yeah, you look cute.
Speaker 3: Thanks got new boots. You know, I'm a boot bitch,
Speaker 3: so thank god you've let those other pink boots go.
Speaker 3: It's time, babe, I'm gonna look for new ones. I
Speaker 3: still need pink boots, like entirely. This is like a
Speaker 3: crazy amount. Okay, well let's try that again. Maybe just
Speaker 3: cut to the jeep. Do something about jeep, do things
Speaker 3: my face here, just a blog. If you can just
Speaker 3: put my nice smiling face over my nipple, that's her
Speaker 3: saying hello. If you don't follow us or watch us
Speaker 3: on YouTube, you're missing out. My small bee titties are
Speaker 3: saying hello again. I love it. I think this week
Speaker 3: I decided I want to get my boobs done this week.
Speaker 3: Like this week, I was like, yeah, this, we gotta
Speaker 3: do that. Okay, well use your influence. Okay, yep, Hey,
Speaker 3: so I have a podcast, please give me free boobs.
Speaker 3: I will tell everyone, well listen, thank there speaking of
Speaker 3: boobs and and plastic surgery and just doing whatever the
Speaker 3: fuck you want. You very special guest. Ye I love
Speaker 3: fake titties. You guys. I'm really excited about this week's
Speaker 3: guest because this was actually someone that from the tribe,
Speaker 3: made us aware of who you were, and now you're
Speaker 3: in my Explore page. Every time I fucking opened up
Speaker 3: my Explorer page, I'm like, there she going, you where?
Speaker 3: Shout out to Christina. Today we are joined by the
Speaker 3: Hello guys, thank you for having me on. I'm super
Speaker 3: excited to have you on. I love your content. I
Speaker 3: love you. You're so funny, you're so real, You're beautiful.
Speaker 3: Did you find as mom like us? Oh we love
Speaker 3: Mamas is the house of finance. Mamas. So from Louisiana
Speaker 3: to La, from La.
Speaker 1: To La, this is just L. I like this LA
Speaker 1: better though, take me back please?
Speaker 3: LA is boring. You should try the other one.
Speaker 1: I mean want I'm gonna come visit better phone when
Speaker 1: we get there. Oh yeah, absolutely, do a whole New
Speaker 1: Orleans saying oh it'll be fine.
Speaker 3: I want to do like a witch tour. I want
Speaker 3: to do all the things. You know what, We've been
Speaker 3: saying this for so long. Maybe this is the year
Speaker 3: that we go to New Orleans for Halloween. Yeah?
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Yeah. I haven't honestly done any of the witchy
Speaker 1: or the ghost tours.
Speaker 3: But I do it in a group setting. Okay, then
Speaker 3: do you need to a retreat? Do we need to
Speaker 3: do like a witchy Halloween retreat because it's our favorite holidays.
Speaker 3: Who was I talking to about the witchiness of New
Speaker 3: Orleans and they were like, you don't want to delve
Speaker 3: into that. It's dark. No people, You're like, they're like,
Speaker 3: you sound it sounds fine, it sounds cute. It's not well,
Speaker 3: the energy, the energy is thick. I was gonna say,
Speaker 3: the energy is different.
Speaker 1: So like as someone who microdos is mushrooms regularly. When
Speaker 1: I started doing mushrooms in New Orleans, like specifically out
Speaker 1: like on a parade or one day, the trip never
Speaker 1: went well, It never went terribly, but it was like
Speaker 1: intense where I was like, I only micro dose style.
Speaker 1: I won't even touch a macro dose like in New Orleans.
Speaker 3: Just the energy is different. And then the bail lifts
Speaker 3: and you're like, oh, everybody can see everything never mind yeah,
Speaker 3: especially in the quarter there. Yeah yeah, wait, so what
Speaker 3: happened was what did you say? I didn't see anything.
Speaker 1: It just became really intense, real fast, and I had
Speaker 1: to sit on the stairs. This happened more than one occasion.
Speaker 1: And I do mushrooms, you know what I mean, but
Speaker 1: like doing it in the French Quarter, it just felt
Speaker 1: completely different.
Speaker 3: It was weird. Okay, Well, note to self, don't yeah,
Speaker 3: maybe don't even do spirits.
Speaker 4: Just stick to care that's what they say, I mean
Speaker 4: spirits And yeah, yeah, the last time I was there,
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know how anyone lived can
Speaker 4: do this all the time.
Speaker 3: We were also there for us ands Fest and it
Speaker 3: was a shit show, so it was like New Orleans
Speaker 3: on crack Yeah, with a bunch of tourists and a
Speaker 3: bunch of rowdy ass yeah people. Makes sense. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: where did you come from? All of a sudden you
Speaker 3: were just all over my feet and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: like what's the trajectory of like where? Like how did you?
Speaker 3: How did you get here? Tell us your internet, your
Speaker 3: internet fame, coming to coming to store, coming to age story.
Speaker 3: You know it's funny. Actually I started creating like content,
Speaker 3: like normal normal content, like only fans content.
Speaker 1: I started creating like normal content in twenty twenty three,
Speaker 1: and I went viral then, but so it was like
Speaker 1: only like a six month run. I used to give
Speaker 1: dating advice. Hmmmm, it was weird. It was weird. So
Speaker 1: it was the dating advice, but it was more male
Speaker 1: centered dating advice.
Speaker 3: I've come along with Okay, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Wait, I don't I don't understand under what.
Speaker 1: So So I've been very open about my pick me journey,
Speaker 1: about how I went from pick me to to like
Speaker 1: liberated woman.
Speaker 3: I had no idea. I'm so shocked, Please tell us more.
Speaker 3: I'm scared. No, So, like I remember my first video
Speaker 3: that went viral.
Speaker 1: It was of me, And I was like, this is
Speaker 1: the dating advice you probably never or you didn't think
Speaker 1: you needed but needed to hear, or some stupid shit
Speaker 1: like that, right, And I was like, very dead pan,
Speaker 1: had these yellow glasses on sort of camera, and I'm
Speaker 1: saying a bunch of.
Speaker 3: Shit that actually rings true. Right.
Speaker 1: But the last thing I said, and I don't know
Speaker 1: why the fuck I said this is I said, men
Speaker 1: have it harder than women in the dating world.
Speaker 3: Oh, I know, I know it was it was a moment.
Speaker 3: What did you mean by that?
Speaker 1: I guess at the time, I meant like, because I
Speaker 1: think that was the rise of That was the rise
Speaker 1: of the conversations of the fifty to fifty provider mindset,
Speaker 1: being your feminine energy, all that stupid shit, the shears,
Speaker 1: the sprinkle sprinkle thing.
Speaker 3: That was the rise of that kind of content.
Speaker 1: So I was like, let me just because I truly
Speaker 1: felt that way at the time.
Speaker 3: I truly felt that way. I will not sugarcoat shit.
Speaker 3: I did feel that way. But like that men had
Speaker 3: to pay for more stuff, So yeah, like there was
Speaker 3: more of a there was more of a.
Speaker 1: What do you call it, a responsibility for demand to
Speaker 1: show up. But now I understand that that's exactly fucking right,
Speaker 1: as they fucking should there should be this big responsibility
Speaker 1: and then when women create life and you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So I made that kind of advice at
Speaker 1: the time, and like women did me multiple times on
Speaker 1: the comments and I'm a comment reader, I'm a DM reader.
Speaker 1: I read everything that comes my way. I have to
Speaker 1: stop that shit because now it's becoming like it's too much,
Speaker 1: and I actually, like I had to take a to
Speaker 1: I had to take a second and be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this right, Like I'm just not I'm
Speaker 1: not like it didn't even spiritually feel aligned with me,
Speaker 1: and I knew I was fucking up. So I stopped
Speaker 1: making that kind of content. I continued making like just
Speaker 1: regular like lifestyle content here and there, but I wasn't
Speaker 1: really in it. And then I dated this man. This
Speaker 1: was last year. I dated this man for years when
Speaker 1: I was living in New Orleans, and I started going
Speaker 1: to therapy as well at the same time. So I
Speaker 1: started dating this man and then eight months later I
Speaker 1: started going to therapy and my therapist, actually, I want
Speaker 1: to say her her thesis was about like toxic masculinity, right,
Speaker 1: So I picked this therapist very you know, carefully, and
Speaker 1: over the time of dating him and going to therapy,
Speaker 1: it started to like shift, Like my viewpoints on relationships
Speaker 1: and my viewpoints on being a woman started to shift right.
Speaker 1: And like I said, I've always I'm a very self
Speaker 1: discovery type person, so I'm always looking for a way
Speaker 1: to be better. Like my friend, I was at dinner
Speaker 1: one time with my friend Jasmine, and she would always say,
Speaker 1: She's like, Via, You're always like learning something about yourself.
Speaker 3: You're always like here for growth.
Speaker 1: So I might be fucking up, but I know when
Speaker 1: I'm fucking up, and I know I could be better.
Speaker 1: So I'm on this discovery or this this discovery with
Speaker 1: my therapist, and you know, I'm telling her about all
Speaker 1: my relationship problems and da da da dah, she brings
Speaker 1: something to light that I swear to God, it was
Speaker 1: like a moment that clicked and she was like, you know,
Speaker 1: we can change your reactivity.
Speaker 3: Because I have BPD.
Speaker 1: It's BPD borderline personality disorder. It comes from like years,
Speaker 1: years and years of trauma disordered growing up, all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And you know, she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we could work on your reactivity. Like you're a little crazy,
Speaker 1: You're kind of a crazy bitch, But the things you're
Speaker 1: being crazy about are actually kind of valid, do you.
Speaker 3: Know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like someone someone checking you for what you're wearing when
Speaker 1: you're going outside, you flippin' out. Maybe let's work on
Speaker 1: how you address it. But like you actually have resourceful rage, right,
Speaker 1: Like she's like the things you're getting upset about, you
Speaker 1: should be getting fucking pissed off about what these men
Speaker 1: are saying to you or doing to you. But let's just,
Speaker 1: you know, let's just change the way we react, you know.
Speaker 1: And so this, the man that I was stating at
Speaker 1: the time, was very, uh I would say, mentally abusive,
Speaker 1: not emotionally, not really physically, not verbal, but mentally the
Speaker 1: mental games you play. So I just and then I
Speaker 1: went to an acupunctual It was just so it's all
Speaker 1: this stuff so right, So like locking, I was doing
Speaker 1: a bunch of unlocking during over that past year, and
Speaker 1: I just decided to share the journey with the internet.
Speaker 3: And then that's where it all kind of started.
Speaker 1: Was I had this like I call it like my
Speaker 1: feminine rage awakening moment. And then literally like one day
Speaker 1: I had acupuncture and my whole life just like I
Speaker 1: awoke and like I swear to God, like therapy is great,
Speaker 1: but I am a I carry my shit in my body.
Speaker 1: So somatic therapy like acupuncture was what really did it
Speaker 1: and threw me over the rate, over the over the edge,
Speaker 1: and I just started making content.
Speaker 3: That was the thing.
Speaker 1: There was no plan with this kind of content, with
Speaker 1: this content that I started making last year.
Speaker 3: There was no plan.
Speaker 1: And that was intentional because I told like the biggest
Speaker 1: thing about it was I would date men that would
Speaker 1: the whole like you know, free free bird. There the
Speaker 1: caged bird theory where like a man will come into
Speaker 1: your life they see your this.
Speaker 3: Like free, open, crazy woman.
Speaker 1: And they like love that about you, and then they
Speaker 1: get you and all yeah, and they want you to like,
Speaker 1: you know, wear your hair diff and they don't want
Speaker 1: you to dress as holl we. They wanted that they
Speaker 1: you need to wear make if you've got themand don't
Speaker 1: wear makeup d da da. They want to like, you know,
Speaker 1: make you a shell of the person that you wear.
Speaker 1: And that that did it for me. Every time I
Speaker 1: would go through these like expand to phases. Then I
Speaker 1: get a man and then I go through another expansive
Speaker 1: phase and I'd break up with them and I get
Speaker 1: a man, and it just kept happening. But this time
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I have to stay single and
Speaker 1: I need to listen to me right because I feel
Speaker 1: like as women, we have a bunch of different voices
Speaker 1: that are in our heads, whether it be our moms,
Speaker 1: our grandmas, our dads, and it's just it's not our voice.
Speaker 1: So we live life based on you know, who we're around,
Speaker 1: who we grew up around. We have all these ideals,
Speaker 1: but a lot of times it's not our voice. So
Speaker 1: after the acupuncture the appointment, I just went into life
Speaker 1: with this. I broke up with this ass two days
Speaker 1: after the acupuncture appointment, by the way.
Speaker 3: And an accupuncture on Friday, I'm sorry, it's not gonna work.
Speaker 3: On Monday, the second at the right place, Like I
Speaker 3: literally woke up it was.
Speaker 1: I had the acupuncture on Tuesday. Wednesday was the first
Speaker 1: day of my ludial phase. Ladies, your luteal phases when
Speaker 1: your body is like at its most uh, your intuitions
Speaker 1: at its highest, so you listen to it. And I
Speaker 1: remember I woke up and it was my day one
Speaker 1: of my ludio face and I woke up. My body
Speaker 1: said you got to break up with this man. So
Speaker 1: I broke up with them that Thursday, and I told
Speaker 1: myself my number one rule was a I'm going to
Speaker 1: be single, but be most importantly, I need to listen
Speaker 1: to me. And I didn't know what that looked like.
Speaker 1: And it was wild because I was like, that's what
Speaker 1: a baby banks came from.
Speaker 3: I was just looking at my.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just looking at myself one day and
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't like my hair, Like, hey, bitch,
Speaker 1: what do you want? And I was like, I want
Speaker 1: a shat cut and I want baby Banks. And I
Speaker 1: put the phone down. I was like, let me record
Speaker 1: this too, because actually I might regret this and this
Speaker 1: might be a terrible idea. So I sat the phone
Speaker 1: down and I recorded it, and it was the best
Speaker 1: idea I had. Made your own banks, I cut my
Speaker 1: own hair, I made my own banks, and I said, oh,
Speaker 1: this was it so like?
Speaker 3: So I started.
Speaker 1: That's honestly how I started making. I guess this kind
Speaker 1: of empowering content for women. But that was the thing too,
Speaker 1: is I didn't plan to be an inspiration to women
Speaker 1: at all. I was just My goal was just I guess,
Speaker 1: I don't know what being inspiration to myself.
Speaker 3: Like making them, keeping your promises to yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, well, let me sink I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go to Brazil for my thirtieth birthday.
Speaker 3: And I thought about it. I'm like, which, now you
Speaker 3: got to go to Brazil for your thirtieth birthday.
Speaker 1: So then I booked the trip. I went to Brazil
Speaker 1: for my thirtieth birthday. So you know, how did I
Speaker 1: end up on your for you page?
Speaker 3: Don't know.
Speaker 1: I just did whatever the fuck I wanted. I guess
Speaker 1: that is legit all it was. And then women would
Speaker 1: come to me and be like, you're so inspiring r
Speaker 1: da da dada'm for long time I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't understand.
Speaker 3: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Like, I'm just it's not doing anything crazy. I'm not
Speaker 1: out here like feeding the hungr I'm not feeding the children,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: I'm just like the women. I guess. Yeah, So that's
Speaker 3: that's how that journey happened. Did your adult content journey
Speaker 3: come before or after the breakup with that guy? Oh?
Speaker 3: Way before?
Speaker 1: I've I've been in sex work since I was twenty.
Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm just so interested because you said you
Speaker 3: were a previously a pick me and then you had
Speaker 3: this awakening and then you were in like back and
Speaker 3: that back to back relationships. But you noticed like in
Speaker 3: relationships you became a shell of yourself, which that happens
Speaker 3: to a lot of strong women, because the men go
Speaker 3: hard for the women that they know. We're like you, bitch,
Speaker 3: I want to cage you. How did that coexist? Like
Speaker 3: sometimes like for a pigmy, like I never do that
Speaker 3: because da da da dad, because you want to be
Speaker 3: picked so badly. So how like that seems like it
Speaker 3: was almost like contradicting, Like was it difficult to date
Speaker 3: men and being doing adult content and wanting to like
Speaker 3: dim yourself to be in a relationship. But also it's
Speaker 3: weird how that like can coexist? Yeah, I want to know.
Speaker 1: Well, A I talk about like I did sex work
Speaker 1: because a out of like trauma. It's it's literally just
Speaker 1: what I thought I could do. I knew I was
Speaker 1: good at fucking. I'll tell you that, like a llegit
Speaker 1: when I started porn because twenty was stripper years, twenty
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two was stripper years. Took a break, became
Speaker 1: a mom, and then went, I did like sugaring, you
Speaker 1: know stuff like that, like the undercover sex work or whatever.
Speaker 3: Sugaring undercover sex work. Sugaring is like sugar babying, right yeah,
Speaker 3: oh I thought sugar I thought sugaring like esthetician. Oh no,
Speaker 3: I was like, I was just such. And then guys,
Speaker 3: I remember what are we doing right right out?
Speaker 1: No? Yea, no, sugar baby and sugar baby. So I've
Speaker 1: done like kind of like all forms. And then I
Speaker 1: was at my I had just gotten out of this
Speaker 1: like terrible relationship. And then I was at my lowest
Speaker 1: and I needed to pay rent in four days. That
Speaker 1: was kind of how that happened. And I said, this
Speaker 1: is the last thing I can do. Was you know
Speaker 1: how like some men go into the military. It was
Speaker 1: like the last option.
Speaker 3: Now, no men men sell drugs. Women's saw that's they
Speaker 3: were selling drugs. Is like, you gotta know where to
Speaker 3: get the drugs, and you could just go there. I
Speaker 3: don't know how to become a drug dealer tomorrow. I
Speaker 3: really you don't watch movies, You get front from your friend,
Speaker 3: you go to the locals, get frighted something. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: I'm learning something for sure.
Speaker 1: So, and then and then I joined joined porn, and
Speaker 1: then and then.
Speaker 3: I dried.
Speaker 1: But no, honestly, like so, the sex work thing was
Speaker 1: just because a the ease of money, and I didn't
Speaker 1: have a good I wasn't showing a good work ethic
Speaker 1: growing up, and you know, I really just thought the
Speaker 1: pussy was the only thing I had to offer. I
Speaker 1: didn't think I was that funny. I think it was
Speaker 1: that cute can be a model. I don't think any
Speaker 1: of these things, you know. So I just like did
Speaker 1: what was easy. But dating men on top of that, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's always been hard, one hundred percent like it because
Speaker 1: it was the men that like, I can save her captain,
Speaker 1: save a hole tight motherfuckers, like the nice guys. Oh
Speaker 1: I would date like nice men, but these nice men
Speaker 1: were just undercover China.
Speaker 3: You know, So would you hide your career from them?
Speaker 3: I'd be open, you know, I do this and maybe
Speaker 3: okay with the pigmy and the pigmy energy and the
Speaker 3: sex work energy. Actually is interesting because I was thinking,
Speaker 3: as you're talking, I'm like, well, it kind of makes sense.
Speaker 3: It's like you you were trying to protect your image
Speaker 3: around Yeah, I do sex work, but still I believe
Speaker 3: in X y Z, which different, which is which, but
Speaker 3: I'm a different yeah, which leans more into like, yeah,
Speaker 3: like amasing whatever. Yeah, the man was like, when I.
Speaker 1: Was important, I didn't have poorn girlfriends.
Speaker 3: I don't do that. Yeah, those friends. I just had,
Speaker 3: like friends who were directors makeup artists like you, which
Speaker 3: I love them, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But now I'm becoming friends more with more sex workers.
Speaker 1: Even though I'm trying to leave sex work, I'm finding
Speaker 1: myself surrounded by more sex workers, which is beautiful, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, they're amazing people. But at the time
Speaker 1: when I was in it, you know, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not one of you. Yeah, weird, right, fucking weird.
Speaker 3: Probably would have been way more successful if I actually
Speaker 3: had some day friends in the industry.
Speaker 1: But yes, it was Yeah, it was like or or
Speaker 1: my favorite one was, Oh, you don't have to watch porn.
Speaker 1: You got a porn you got a porn girl right here, you.
Speaker 3: Know what I mean, Like, oh, okay, you got the porn.
Speaker 3: Start home, I'm gonna make dinner and then we're gonna
Speaker 3: watch me. Yeah, or I'm just yeah, so because of that,
Speaker 3: like I'm just curious, like you're reallyationship with sex like
Speaker 3: and like and how much you actually enjoy it and
Speaker 3: how much of it feels performative for you.
Speaker 1: So funny enough, I feel like I'm in a very
Speaker 1: reserved moment now of my life. But let's see when
Speaker 1: I was just because I always I had a boyfriend, right,
Speaker 1: like I've always I was a cerium monogamist. But when
Speaker 1: I was single for those little three months three to
Speaker 1: six months, maybe that i'd be single, I'd be fucking.
Speaker 1: But when I got into porn, that is where my
Speaker 1: relationship with sex.
Speaker 3: Became very performative.
Speaker 1: Because I got into porn because it was one of
Speaker 1: those things I was like, I'm good at fucking because
Speaker 1: I was at the time living in Tampa and I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, kind of holling around.
Speaker 3: I was single at the.
Speaker 1: Time for like two three months whatever, single at the time,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, fucking, and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: I'm real.
Speaker 3: Good at this. I'm real good at this. You know,
Speaker 3: maybe let me go profit off of this.
Speaker 1: And then when you join porn, it's people you don't
Speaker 1: know and that you wouldn't necessarily fuck. So now I'm
Speaker 1: having to perform and fucking people I do not want
Speaker 1: to fuck, so it became icky to me, right and
Speaker 1: then sex with men that I was attracted to you associate.
Speaker 3: You just associate.
Speaker 1: It just wasn't healthy and you cope in different ways.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, Like, I can't say I've ever
Speaker 1: been extremely kinky person, you know, like my kinks would
Speaker 1: probably stop at choking, spitting, slapping, the typical, like when
Speaker 1: you start getting into kinking, you start doing like that
Speaker 1: kind of shit. But honestly, now, like my heart, I've
Speaker 1: just found what I truly desire, and what I truly
Speaker 1: desire is just one partner I am not, like, am
Speaker 1: I wearing my earrings? Yeah, horny, horny slut I love,
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I love you know, I've been I've
Speaker 1: been the slut. I've been the horror into some so
Speaker 1: many people. I probably still am the horn and slut whatever,
Speaker 1: so that's still a part of me. But I truly
Speaker 1: just like fucking one person, like I'm a very I've
Speaker 1: I've been teetering with the the identity of like demisexual
Speaker 1: or sapio sexual, like I like when I haven't when
Speaker 1: I connect with the man here, it connects directly here.
Speaker 3: You can be fine as ship.
Speaker 1: Like Jason, let me tell you something, Jason fucking Mamoa.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you and her and the Jason really
Speaker 3: party him.
Speaker 1: If you ever get the opportunity to call me first one,
Speaker 1: guess what, let's go bitch the tell my husband I
Speaker 1: got the call.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I gotta do it. I'll tell you all
Speaker 3: about it. Sure.
Speaker 1: But it's like if Jason Momoa ended up being like
Speaker 1: a dumb bitch, I'd be like, I'm not fucking you.
Speaker 3: I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it like you
Speaker 3: can be fine as ship.
Speaker 1: That's why I like Love Island is Mono Island, that's.
Speaker 3: What they're calling it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the kissing is it's so much making out,
Speaker 1: Like are you in high school? Yeah?
Speaker 3: You know what. I'm so happy that we're having this
Speaker 3: conversation because I think that this is a commonversation that
Speaker 3: women don't have the opportunity to observe and hear often.
Speaker 3: And I think sometimes when you have conversations or when
Speaker 3: you come to light and then you can talk about
Speaker 3: it in depth, then other women like will get this
Speaker 3: like seed planet and I was just talking to one
Speaker 3: of my friends Aaron about this recently and we're talking
Speaker 3: about are hoar days, and like I like reveled at it,
Speaker 3: you know, but like then I got older and I'm
Speaker 3: married now, but there's things that I think I'm still
Speaker 3: working on forgiving myself for and I realize like there's
Speaker 3: there's like a like you're just talking about the porn
Speaker 3: to pick me pipeline or whatever the fuck, and like
Speaker 3: how it seems like it's separate, but even you're talking
Speaker 3: about like being in being a serial relationship person. And
Speaker 3: I think that women don't realize how the patriarchy, like
Speaker 3: A said, like A makes this creates this idea that
Speaker 3: if you're taken or if you're you know, you have
Speaker 3: a man, that you're safe in some capacity. And so
Speaker 3: I think like sometimes when people have experienced trauma or
Speaker 3: like most women experienced trauma like sexually is from men,
Speaker 3: there is a need and want to be picked because
Speaker 3: you feel safe and never even for me, like when
Speaker 3: I was in relationships, I'm like, oh, then I'll save
Speaker 3: myself from being a whore because I'll be in a relationship.
Speaker 3: But also just like there's also the popeline of like
Speaker 3: if you've experienced extreme or not even all sexual abuses
Speaker 3: extreme in my opinion. How Like for me, I was like,
Speaker 3: fuck NIGGI is fuck all y'all. I'll do whatever I
Speaker 3: want with my pussy. I don't give a fuck, I
Speaker 3: don't give a fuck about you. I'll fuck you, fuck you,
Speaker 3: I'll fuck you. And then I realized, like I didn't
Speaker 3: really want to fuck all those people. I was actually
Speaker 3: disassociating and calling it empowerment, empowerment and in some of
Speaker 3: those ways, like that was a process and a journey
Speaker 3: I had to experience to arrive where I'm at now.
Speaker 3: And I'm still like not picking up the pieces, but
Speaker 3: healing myself, forgiving myself. But I don't think that women
Speaker 3: recon pick me women. I don't think recognize maybe how
Speaker 3: how more the same and we are than different. You
Speaker 3: put yourself on a I'm talking to the pick me
Speaker 3: women now. You put yourself on the pedestal, thinking it
Speaker 3: makes you better and thinking it makes you safer, but
Speaker 3: in reality, like you're just being put into the cage.
Speaker 3: So it takes you even further away from yourself, even
Speaker 3: further away from your pussy because you think that it's
Speaker 3: safe and you think that it's it's acceptable, like acceptability politics,
Speaker 3: which I fucking hate. So I just I think that,
Speaker 3: like this conversation is worth Like I'm happy that you're
Speaker 3: bringing it up, because I think people like automatically, I'm
Speaker 3: not like her, I'm not like this, And then really, bitch,
Speaker 3: you are because you like to fuck and you want
Speaker 3: to feel safe. And at the very bottom line of it,
Speaker 3: all women just want to feel safe in a world
Speaker 3: that's genuinely not safe for us. The world is not
Speaker 3: safe for women. You're always carrying a billion dollars worth
Speaker 3: of pussy on us. So have you ever carried a
Speaker 3: backpack with a billion dollars worth of dollars? No, you haven't,
Speaker 3: So imagine like walking around with this all the time.
Speaker 3: There is a there is is a sense of protection
Speaker 3: and anxiety you're always experiencing.
Speaker 1: That's so funny because I remember I went over this
Speaker 1: with my therapist one time before I broke up with
Speaker 1: my ex, and I told her I had a dream
Speaker 1: one time, and I was like, I had a dream
Speaker 1: that I broke up with my ex and a bunch
Speaker 1: of men like broke into my house, you know, And
Speaker 1: she was and then did you know that stuff?
Speaker 3: And I was just like and.
Speaker 1: Then she practice was telling me the same thing about like,
Speaker 1: you know, like your man is your safety, that's how
Speaker 1: you view him, and that if you leave him, that
Speaker 1: if you're on your own, you're unsafe, and that you'll
Speaker 1: you'll be like attacked by a bunch of men.
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's a lot of fear for all of us,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: I'm like, like the way I feel walking down the
Speaker 1: street by myself versus with the.
Speaker 3: Man next to me completely different. But it's funny too, because.
Speaker 1: The whole safety thing that you bring up, you know,
Speaker 1: we're afraid of men and we look to.
Speaker 3: Men for the safety. What I found was so.
Speaker 1: Life changing last year was how safe I felt with
Speaker 1: women because I never had a bunch of girlfriends, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I've always been a gaze girl. As much as I
Speaker 1: love the gays, a lot of gay men or some men,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: they still carry some of them still carry a lot
Speaker 1: of homophobia, not homophobia, misogyny in them.
Speaker 3: A lot of them some still hate women. You know,
Speaker 3: I've been in the gay groups out here.
Speaker 1: The way to talk about me, oh yeah, like oh
Speaker 1: you and I had to like purposely go out and
Speaker 1: get girlfriends. Like when we broke up, I went out
Speaker 1: by myself all the time. That's the only way I
Speaker 1: knew how to make friends.
Speaker 3: Like you just go out.
Speaker 1: I went out to pool parties, went out to club,
Speaker 1: and I purposely made a bunch of girlfriends.
Speaker 3: And the difference I felt being surrounded by a safe
Speaker 3: group because not a safe.
Speaker 1: Group of women, not because a lot of you know,
Speaker 1: you around a bunch of gossip and hopes, like you
Speaker 1: don't feel very safe. I'm talking like safe women who
Speaker 1: were there not to judge you. They're just there to
Speaker 1: be in friendship with you, and they just like you
Speaker 1: because you're you, not because of the way you look,
Speaker 1: not because the connections you bring, some tape or whatever else.
Speaker 1: It is just women who were safe. That was so healing,
Speaker 1: absolutely and I was like, this is even more important
Speaker 1: to me than a man. And a big thing too
Speaker 1: was anytime I was an ex, anytime I was a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: I was a terrible friend. I'd beat a girl that,
Speaker 1: like you know, would disappear because I had a man,
Speaker 1: and then I we'd break up and be like we just.
Speaker 3: Go to the club like underneath my man.
Speaker 1: And so I told myself you got to be. I
Speaker 1: had to learn how to become a good friend before
Speaker 1: I ever learned how to be another girlfriend. And that's
Speaker 1: what I wanted. And like, I recently had a house
Speaker 1: swarmming party and they were very There was like a
Speaker 1: few gay guys there and like one safe man, but
Speaker 1: the rest were women. And I'm like, it's like fifteen
Speaker 1: twenty people in my house and I'm like, wow, this
Speaker 1: to me shows me that I, over the past year
Speaker 1: learned how to be a good friend versus a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: which is like, which I'm sure you know one day, yeah.
Speaker 3: But you'll be a mentioned that you'll be a different version.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, a girlfriend, absolutely absolutely, and that's what I want.
Speaker 1: It's like like, now now that I've this is the
Speaker 1: longest I've ever been single, which is a year congratulation,
Speaker 1: It's like now I'm like the man who who does
Speaker 1: come in if and when he does, has got to
Speaker 1: be like this open person who lets me be me,
Speaker 1: who lets me be all the parts of me, the
Speaker 1: angry part, the sad part, the healing part, the goofy part,
Speaker 1: the sexy part, the not sexy part.
Speaker 3: I mean, I have high standards and I don't give
Speaker 3: a shit but that's why this is important, like a
Speaker 3: first off, like shout out to you for being someone
Speaker 3: who consistently and consciously keeps growing, keeps evolving, keeps being
Speaker 3: self observant to be like ah, this doesn't work, and
Speaker 3: like like re switching roots. But also like to the
Speaker 3: women listening, I don't think women realize the value in
Speaker 3: sitting with your fucking self so that you like yourself,
Speaker 3: so that you love yourself so that when a motherfucker
Speaker 3: does come in, it's not like you're just giving you know,
Speaker 3: portion of you away, Because I think that like women
Speaker 3: getting fucked up miserable relationships and marriages because you haven't
Speaker 3: fully activated, and fully activating means like, yes, I'm fully
Speaker 3: okay with the mistakes I've made. I'm fully okay with
Speaker 3: my pussy. I'm fully okay with showing up like I do,
Speaker 3: like I don't get I don't dress like this, and
Speaker 3: then when I get a relationship, I change. Please stop
Speaker 3: doing that, bitches, you're fucking up for everybody.
Speaker 1: Having a secure sense of self is the most important
Speaker 1: thing I feel like.
Speaker 3: Because then you attract a partner who is secure with
Speaker 3: you being yourself versus a portion of yourself so like,
Speaker 3: it's not it's like not only being yourself part time
Speaker 3: when you're not in a relationship, but it's like loving
Speaker 3: it so much that nobody can come in and switch
Speaker 3: up how you are, switch up how you show up,
Speaker 3: because it's it gives men the false idea that women
Speaker 3: are supposed to change in relationships, and that's actually fucking delusional.
Speaker 3: If you ever date a guy, he's like, well, you're
Speaker 3: in a relationship. Now, you're not gonna dress like that. No, nigga,
Speaker 3: I dress like this when you pick me up at
Speaker 3: the boss dress worse now that you hear you can't
Speaker 3: sack me. I don't have the cities out.
Speaker 1: The other day, I was dressing to go to New
Speaker 1: York and I was like, I picked out this like dress.
Speaker 3: Orlando was like, take it off. I was like, but wait,
Speaker 3: it's short. He said, take it off. It's not sexy.
Speaker 3: I was like, but look at it. He's like, you
Speaker 3: look like you're going to church. And I was like, Orlando,
Speaker 3: why do you want to dress like a whore? He's like,
Speaker 3: because that's who I married. Yeah, Matche, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: He literally refused to let me wear this dress.
Speaker 1: It was so cute.
Speaker 3: That I'm gonna show you a picture, but it was
Speaker 3: I reminded myself, like, thank god, I married someone who
Speaker 3: knows me, and it's not I mean, even the dress
Speaker 3: was cute. He was also if you want to wear
Speaker 3: the dress where yeah? Right, so you want me to
Speaker 3: be naked? Got it? Mostly thank you for appreciating my sexy.
Speaker 3: I'd rather date a nigga who wants me to borderline
Speaker 3: and have my ass out than try to cover a
Speaker 3: bit up because that it really, I don't know, like
Speaker 3: it it buries you underneath the bullshit and like it's
Speaker 3: so easy even as smart women, even as confident women,
Speaker 3: as sexy woman, it is so easy to get caught
Speaker 3: up the patriarchy because the whole system is built against us. Literally,
Speaker 3: like when I always I said this year earlier, when
Speaker 3: I met Erica, I was like, oh, you want to
Speaker 3: be bold, Oh you want to smoke weed and go
Speaker 3: do function together. Finally I have a partner in crime.
Speaker 3: It was like my safety, it was our safety to
Speaker 3: be like doubling down on who we were publicly and
Speaker 3: that's why and that and that speaks to the importance
Speaker 3: of having women in your life because I think a
Speaker 3: lot of times as women or women that have been
Speaker 3: trespassed against right by women, like we hear this all
Speaker 3: the time, like I'm a fuck with women. I don't
Speaker 3: fuck with girls like that, and and listen, I get it,
Speaker 3: but listen, like these niggas are a bunch of chose
Speaker 3: for me, these words are doing horrible shitting. You're still
Speaker 3: trying to find me on every single day. And I
Speaker 3: do think it's important for women that really want to
Speaker 3: step into this next version of themselves, or want to
Speaker 3: date differently, or want experience life differently, to take time
Speaker 3: away from relationships. Absolutely you need that. You needed that
Speaker 3: year or however much longer it lasts, like to have
Speaker 3: this space of understanding who the fuck am I outside
Speaker 3: and and really being able to also have the space
Speaker 3: of looking at your circle like what you said, like
Speaker 3: seeing like you're like you're the woman with all the
Speaker 3: gay friends and being like, Okay, why am I still
Speaker 3: choosing men in safety even if they aren't like the
Speaker 3: man I would date. I'm still choosing these type of
Speaker 3: people to be around me and make me have a
Speaker 3: sense of safety. And we can't do that when we're
Speaker 3: in relationship after relationship after relationship, And like when I
Speaker 3: look at people that are all my friends that are
Speaker 3: serial relationship people are struggling, are struggling hard. They just
Speaker 3: jumped the next thing to the next thing, the next thing,
Speaker 3: and escapism. Yeah, and so like for the people that
Speaker 3: are listening that are like contemplating getting out of relationship
Speaker 3: or just got out of one, I'm like, just give
Speaker 3: it a second. Yeah, just you know, give it a second.
Speaker 3: But also and then analyze your circle because some of
Speaker 3: the some of the like you said, some of the
Speaker 3: bitch are not good bitches. If you're feeling judged by
Speaker 3: your bitches, move on that. That was so funny too,
Speaker 3: because bitch just to be jealous sometimes recently.
Speaker 1: So like my best friend Victoria, she she used to
Speaker 1: have before we met, she used to have this like
Speaker 1: group of friends. I ain't gonna say the names, but
Speaker 1: they still talk a shit about her online since this day.
Speaker 1: And I introduced her to like my group of friends.
Speaker 1: And we were recently at our mutual friends Kat's birthday,
Speaker 1: and we were sitting there, you know, like the.
Speaker 3: Theme was was it floral? It was pink and green, It.
Speaker 1: Was beautiful, and we all came to dinner wearing just
Speaker 1: these beautiful dresses was all women, and Victoria tells me
Speaker 1: later she's like, wow, I didn't realize that, like there
Speaker 1: are this kind there are these kind of like safe
Speaker 1: women out there that like you can just be you,
Speaker 1: Like you can just like relax, you could be your
Speaker 1: honest self and like no one's gossiping about nobody, no
Speaker 1: one should talk, and like we're all just supportive. And
Speaker 1: it's like, I feel like it's very important to figure
Speaker 1: out who the fuck you are as well, and like
Speaker 1: what you like and what you don't like in your
Speaker 1: back boundaries and stuff on your own, so that you know,
Speaker 1: besides attracting the right relationship, like attracting friends as well,
Speaker 1: like when you were so like, when you know who
Speaker 1: the fuck you are to the deepest level, you do
Speaker 1: not like me.
Speaker 3: I was bullied my whole childhood, so mean mean.
Speaker 1: Girls, gossip and all this kind of stuff might be
Speaker 1: cool with other people, but like I made it the fact.
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, if you were like a gossip
Speaker 1: and ass person, I don't want you in my circle.
Speaker 3: I was very intentional, and.
Speaker 1: I've met people along the way and I had to
Speaker 1: cut them off because I'm like, you don't feel safe,
Speaker 1: like it's the thing in your body that makes you
Speaker 1: feel safe or unsafe. You're gonna learn how to like
Speaker 1: listen to yourself too, because your body ninety percent of
Speaker 1: time is telling you.
Speaker 3: The body tells us everything. But if you're disconnected from
Speaker 3: your body, then you won't know. But even sometimes you
Speaker 3: can be connected to your body, you can still choose
Speaker 3: the opposite. It's actually choosing them the more uncomfortable thing,
Speaker 3: the thing that doesn't feel familiar, the thing that like
Speaker 3: when you like is like, well I did it before, Like, bitch,
Speaker 3: you did it before, and what you did it before?
Speaker 3: And what girl, it didn't work out, So try some
Speaker 3: new shit.
Speaker 1: Because I will say I feel a lot of my
Speaker 1: safe friends when I first met them, and I've told
Speaker 1: them this before, I'm like, I didn't trust none of y'all.
Speaker 1: I didn't like it was like when I first met
Speaker 1: my like it being so nice?
Speaker 3: What are you telling me? They so nice?
Speaker 1: They're like, are are hugging me?
Speaker 3: I'm done.
Speaker 1: It was a part I had to, like I would
Speaker 1: sit with myself and be like, I'm scared. I don't
Speaker 1: trust these people, but like, hold on, give it a second,
Speaker 1: Yeah you do this actually feels good and feels it's
Speaker 1: just different.
Speaker 3: So yeah, well I want to switch gears for just okay,
Speaker 3: switch gears. Have you made any bad choices this week?
Speaker 3: Via bad Mom?
Speaker 1: Not a bad mom, but a bad mom so good.
Speaker 3: I'm living.
Speaker 1: So when you say bad choices, they could be actually
Speaker 1: they could be good.
Speaker 3: They'd be bad for everybody else but good for you.
Speaker 3: Or they could just really just be bad. Okay, I
Speaker 3: did make up. Okay, I always think about this. I
Speaker 3: don't know how tabbigy this is going to be. You
Speaker 3: went to a spot before, right, of course all women's fall.
Speaker 3: You went like the jacuzzie. Yeah, yeah, right, the jets.
Speaker 3: They do have jets. They do have jets.
Speaker 1: So I went on a spa day, you know, because
Speaker 1: I've just been going through a lot. I've been going
Speaker 1: through a lot, a bit, just stressed out. I ain't
Speaker 1: fucking nobody, I ain't got no dick, I'm just dry, right,
Speaker 1: So I was listening to hot tub, no one was around.
Speaker 1: I put my pussy straight on a fucking jet. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you it was the best thing in the world.
Speaker 3: You come, absolutely and nobody came. This was yesterday. I
Speaker 3: can't say I don't want to get kicked let me know.
Speaker 3: Yeah the record, I was like, no one was there.
Speaker 3: I'm just like, I look like I'm leaning over to
Speaker 3: pool like this, legs up, legs up that no one
Speaker 3: walked in. No one was there, you know what.
Speaker 1: I did feel taboo, But I was like, I know
Speaker 1: I'm not the.
Speaker 3: Only person who's done this before. Now, people have humped
Speaker 3: a jet many times before. You. My gay bussy tells
Speaker 3: me that's like the like the cruise, you go to
Speaker 3: the bathhouse, they do weird things. They go in the
Speaker 3: sauna and drag each other off. I really offended. I
Speaker 3: mean not offended. I guess gay men have like just
Speaker 3: higher sex drives and they're going to just do it,
Speaker 3: but women have way less places to go do weird
Speaker 3: things with their friends. Yeah. I am all about happy
Speaker 3: endings at in spa experiences. Happy ending ever happen, I am.
Speaker 1: I've ever had one like by like an actual masseuse.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to expede to But then is it
Speaker 1: a woman?
Speaker 3: It was man, But it was it was unexpected. It
Speaker 3: wasn't like I didn't know. I I've told the story
Speaker 3: a lot of the podcast. Whatever, you can go find
Speaker 3: it somewhere but long story short, it wasn't like I like,
Speaker 3: it wasn't like I was like, oh yeah, I'm going
Speaker 3: in and I'm going to do this. It was like
Speaker 3: it was like the spot. It was like, yeah, we
Speaker 3: have a we have a happy ending spot underneath this
Speaker 3: our studio which you see you see men all day,
Speaker 3: a lot of sense in the sexual energy, you know, reproducing,
Speaker 3: treating for being fruitful. But like, no, my body was relaxed.
Speaker 3: And I had been so like I think, wound up
Speaker 3: so tightly up until that moment. And I was just
Speaker 3: like and he kept like massaging my inner thigh, and
Speaker 3: I was like, would be for me so nice if
Speaker 3: you could just that's what you said. I just know.
Speaker 3: I didn't say any telepathically. I just telepathically did it,
Speaker 3: and he got the memo and then he did it
Speaker 3: and then it was great and then there was no weirdness.
Speaker 3: It was like then he finished the massage and then
Speaker 3: it was her turn, and I was like, Mila guessed.
Speaker 3: I was like, she's like, he gave me happy. I
Speaker 3: was like what, I was like, do it? I was
Speaker 3: like no, I was like, now he's gonna think I
Speaker 3: want that. Why did you do that? Not me being prude,
Speaker 3: I was like, that guy, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3: That's so amazing. The next time we came, because we
Speaker 3: were when we were in Costa Rica the first time ever.
Speaker 3: The next time became, his like whole family dropped him off,
Speaker 3: his like children and his wife, and I was like, oh, man, oop, sorry,
Speaker 3: but you know it should be a part of the game,
Speaker 3: a good tip. And I just felt like, I feel
Speaker 3: like you're in that relaxed state your body, like you said,
Speaker 3: I believe like somatic therapy, somatic that's really how we
Speaker 3: get this ship out of our bodies. We can only
Speaker 3: talk so much, you know, I know what's wrong. Is
Speaker 3: there anyone in the California area. No, I don't want
Speaker 3: one of them. I want a man to do it,
Speaker 3: because it's not as fun I wanted sex. I want you.
Speaker 3: I want to manage. Yeah, I want the full experience.
Speaker 3: I want the full experience like menget. And I just
Speaker 3: am making a PSA announcement. If there's anyone in the
Speaker 3: LA area who does happy ending massages, that's a man,
Speaker 3: that's not weird. I would just like you come to
Speaker 3: my house and do the full massage. Do you think
Speaker 3: it's cheating?
Speaker 1: If I get happy, I.
Speaker 3: Think you probably should tell Orlando. You just tell him
Speaker 3: it's you're you just need his permission. You can't. It's
Speaker 3: in the moment. You can't know for sure. I need it,
Speaker 3: but I need to know before it's you know why.
Speaker 3: It's on my bucket list. It's like the two the three,
Speaker 3: some of the two guys. It was on my bucket list,
Speaker 3: and he made it happy. So I don't think you're
Speaker 3: getting a happy ending is going to be a big deal.
Speaker 1: Then oh, yeah, you're good. Well he was there, but
Speaker 1: maybe he could be in the living room. You could watch, Oh,
Speaker 1: pull him up a cut chair.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, you love that. No, it's not it's not for him.
Speaker 3: It's for me, right, Yeah, he doesn't be there. No,
Speaker 3: And it's not even about sexual because I mean it was,
Speaker 3: it was, but it wasn't. It was really for me,
Speaker 3: Like if I saw this man in a lineup, I
Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to point him out, like I have
Speaker 3: no idea what he looked like. It was not about him.
Speaker 3: It was about what I needed in that moment. And
Speaker 3: that was it. And he went off to his family
Speaker 3: and great, thank you. If you guys had boyfriends or husbands,
Speaker 3: and they got happy endings. Would you be okay with that? Fuck? No,
Speaker 3: I'm very much monogamous person.
Speaker 1: That's that Virgo rising. I'm very one on one. You
Speaker 1: get all that ship out for me, get in a relationship.
Speaker 3: I have a question when you were when you were
Speaker 3: in your pick me relationships. I just have to call
Speaker 3: that because it just makes me laugh every time. I
Speaker 3: believe it. When you said, I was like, really, would
Speaker 3: you stop working? So let's see who did I stop
Speaker 3: working for? Like, so you were like, I'm just gonna
Speaker 3: You're gonna, You're just gonna stop draw.
Speaker 1: I only date it so like when I was a stripper,
Speaker 1: I mean, I wasn't fucking nobody and a va people.
Speaker 1: But when I was single, you know, I have my
Speaker 1: few but like porn porn, I only dated one person
Speaker 1: during the porn years. And yeah, no, I didn't stop working.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I feel like I did stop working. We
Speaker 1: only dated for like five months, and I want to
Speaker 1: say we were together like the first two months I
Speaker 1: was still doing porn.
Speaker 3: He was just extremely uncomfortable. Is he paying your bills?
Speaker 3: Because with that No, But my dumb ass was in love.
Speaker 3: I loved him.
Speaker 1: I loved that baby.
Speaker 3: It's so bad.
Speaker 1: I just loved him, so I did quit like for him,
Speaker 1: and I started doing like OnlyFans solo and stuff, and.
Speaker 3: Then my money just went downhill. I have to survive.
Speaker 3: We got a breakup. Yeah, it's only one time. Really.
Speaker 1: Everything else was like like me and my baby. He
Speaker 1: maybe daddy did only fans together. That's how I started
Speaker 1: only fans in the first place. Was with him in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I've been looking at those bitches and how
Speaker 3: much did be making a monthly? And I've been thinking
Speaker 3: about it too, and Land was like, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3: I'm like, but look at this forty seven thousand dollars
Speaker 3: one month, babe. Yeah only but he was on only fans,
Speaker 3: I know, but something he's a Christian. I don't know,
Speaker 3: you know these are Christians. Every other month though it is. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he's like, he's like, my Christian cousins are coming. Oh,
Speaker 3: maybe he can come to church with me. You take him,
Speaker 3: You take him a church with you, Orlando. Actually, you
Speaker 3: want to be a Christian, go to church where they are.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's so funny that one X was a Christian.
Speaker 1: He was real like he would bring the Bible to
Speaker 1: my house. You know what, Christians love horse previously, this
Speaker 1: is my theory, and I just loved the host. They
Speaker 1: Jesus did love the horse.
Speaker 3: And I wish that fucking Christians would get the memo
Speaker 3: and read the goddamn Bible. But former religious men who
Speaker 3: were like really in the church, like maybe was forced
Speaker 3: on them and they maybe like have religious trauma love
Speaker 3: wild women love free women. They're actually the more safer
Speaker 3: man if they're out of the church. Though, if they're
Speaker 3: previously heavy in the church and now they're out of
Speaker 3: the church because they realize this is some fun shit,
Speaker 3: they usually really are a safe space for wild horrish
Speaker 3: women like myself. I know this from my research. I
Speaker 3: can say that's true as someone who dated someone who
Speaker 3: was extremely religious at one point in their life and
Speaker 3: then allowed me to be exactly who I wanted to be.
Speaker 3: So we have one more question before you move on.
Speaker 3: What is your type?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: What kind of like guys do you usually date? Do
Speaker 3: they black guys? You talk guys? Is it all every
Speaker 3: buddy under the rainbow? Wait? Can we play trigger and
Speaker 3: we can get some of these answers, questions, questions answered pie,
Speaker 3: But before we do, I would like us to bless
Speaker 3: the backwood. Oh oh he yeah, bless the backwood everybody,
Speaker 3: but all the women out there that are stuck in
Speaker 3: pig meism, I'm praying for you. Our pussies are putting
Speaker 3: power towards this blunt and every inhale and every exhale
Speaker 3: releases you from the shackles of pig meism. Lord, if
Speaker 3: you're hearing this, let the airways, the audio frequencies go
Speaker 3: to the pussies and free them from the free them
Speaker 3: from the age, over the cage and free release. Indeed,
Speaker 3: just freed.
Speaker 1: Look at the power guys walking on topless now the
Speaker 1: power of the backwood.
Speaker 3: So what is Trigger? Is this a game? Yeah? So
Speaker 3: Trigger is a game we like to play to get
Speaker 3: to know our guests quickly. So we're going to ask
Speaker 3: you one word or ask your word, and you're gonna
Speaker 3: say the first thing that comes to mind. You're not
Speaker 3: gonna think about it too heavy. You just can't ask
Speaker 3: me my type. And I say to one word, I
Speaker 3: know that's why. I don't know why she caught off
Speaker 3: my question. But don't worry. We'll get back so we
Speaker 3: can get into it. Okay, okay, So are you ready?
Speaker 3: Do you want to hit the blunt first? Yeah, hit
Speaker 3: the backwood. We'll pass it. And you know, with this prayer,
Speaker 3: I really feel like this is going to be a
Speaker 3: powerful prayer. As a previous pick me woman, you know,
Speaker 3: as someone who's come come to terms, has come unshackled.
Speaker 3: Now it's going to work for all the women. It's
Speaker 3: too much pressure to be a pick me, to be
Speaker 3: male centered, it's too much work. Are you ready via
Speaker 3: at just first word? Marriage? Yes? Love? Yes? Bad, habits?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Girl?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 3: Wait am I supposed say yes or no? Say whatever
Speaker 3: comes on? Yes? No? Wait, okay, hold on, I must
Speaker 3: have not understood the memo. Let's you say the first
Speaker 3: word that comes to mind, not yes or no? I
Speaker 3: mean could, but it could be like okay, my back
Speaker 3: one must have hit good?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Right? Yes?
Speaker 5: No, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 5: what words I'm gonna mix it up?
Speaker 3: Please do weed strong married men? Fu? No? Wait, no,
Speaker 3: that's fine, bad, that's bad, bad omens happily ever after?
Speaker 3: Maybe one day? Love, your passion, art, your vice, h weed,
Speaker 3: favorite sex position, doggie, more kids, No, monogamy absolutely, holly amory? Fuck? No,
Speaker 3: what's he eating too? Messy. I could not be a
Speaker 3: lasted I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I wish Nope, no, we had three.
Speaker 3: Too much work. There's no three ss in your porn history.
Speaker 3: There is, but that's why. Too much work for those
Speaker 3: AHD too much forget about a dick. Oh sorry, don't
Speaker 3: forgot that was there?
Speaker 1: So you like pussy here, it's too messy, too messy,
Speaker 1: motherhood hard, your childhood, fucked up.
Speaker 3: Celebrity crush.
Speaker 1: Jason momoam wealth plentiful therapy.
Speaker 3: Needed but not needed anymore. I don't know I used
Speaker 3: to need it. Terrible one word. I'm like, No, white women,
Speaker 3: what's it called? What's it called? Hot and cold? Black
Speaker 3: women love black men? If he I don't know white
Speaker 3: men h men in general? You date outside your race? Absolutely? Yeah,
Speaker 3: like white men too. Yeah, you're gonna see her boyfriend
Speaker 3: the ex boyfriend from them.
Speaker 1: Let yeah, we'll just look at that black men. I've
Speaker 1: never officially dated a black guy. Really, I've dated, I've fucked,
Speaker 1: I've you know, I have been in talking phases, but
Speaker 1: it's never gotten to boyfriend girlfriend.
Speaker 3: So to answer Jamila's question, let's get into it, because
Speaker 3: what's your type? So it's it's not like a I
Speaker 3: don't know. Al Okay, I like him alternative, right, like
Speaker 3: I have tedgies I used to get.
Speaker 1: I like him edgy, Like my little ex boyfriend in
Speaker 1: the short film is Latino and he has a handlebar mustache.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that ship, Like I love him artsy
Speaker 3: and weird, a mini bang in an artsy mustache.
Speaker 1: You go together, you know, absolutely, I love a ass mustache,
Speaker 1: dark hair, fuck ass mustache. Yeah, any race really, but
Speaker 1: I think culture, I feel like the reason because people
Speaker 1: ask me this all time. Do I black? Do I
Speaker 1: date black guys?
Speaker 3: I've tried.
Speaker 1: I don't think culturally we get along.
Speaker 3: I don't. It's just it's just been something.
Speaker 1: And also like like I like nerds too, right, they
Speaker 1: make nerds.
Speaker 3: Of course they make nerd they do, they do. They
Speaker 3: make nerds, and they make nerds of black they absolutely do.
Speaker 3: But usually the black ani nerds.
Speaker 1: I mean she's not attracted to because the black man
Speaker 1: I am attracted to either date white women or this
Speaker 1: this one black guy tried to date.
Speaker 3: He was a doctor. He was so fine. He was
Speaker 3: like like Michael B.
Speaker 1: Jordan's like my black eye type, like beautiful, right, those
Speaker 1: types either date?
Speaker 3: Like why Jordan's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yes, so do you you have a whole But because
Speaker 1: he's rich, I mean, yeah, rich is he has ascess.
Speaker 1: I like that as a strong chin bitch, I mean, you.
Speaker 3: Know it needs some balance. I do both My parents
Speaker 3: have big chins and here I am. I mean if
Speaker 3: I have a little chin with we be perfect, little
Speaker 3: perfect face.
Speaker 1: No. But he was a doctor and he had a
Speaker 1: whole family. He had a whole second family.
Speaker 3: It was like he didn't tell you no, and to
Speaker 3: find out that, hey, girly, this you got black dan trauma. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's funny.
Speaker 1: Black guys are actually who I started dating when I
Speaker 1: was like thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, and it was like I
Speaker 1: had the same kind of shit with them, like there
Speaker 1: was always another girl.
Speaker 3: There was always another It never happened with the white guys.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not gonna lie personally, but I'm not listen.
Speaker 3: They make cheaters and white girl they make they make
Speaker 3: whole second families and white they make like I'm fucking
Speaker 3: the maid type, I'm fucking the pool girl. You know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like, oh, I know how white people get down, but
Speaker 1: it's not even a race.
Speaker 3: I just like alternative people but it's just so happened.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I just I've also fun say all
Speaker 3: the alternative blacks online. Do you think that you said cold?
Speaker 3: Do you also feel like white dudes are more open?
Speaker 3: I feel like, well, because they have the luxury of
Speaker 3: being born. Probably. H So I'm curious because I know that,
Speaker 3: and we're not done with trigger, but maybe we can
Speaker 3: get into this afterwards. But I am curious because you
Speaker 3: said I know that you've talked about like not having
Speaker 3: relationship with the black side of your family, and and
Speaker 3: the the excitement or not being an excitement, but the
Speaker 3: unfortunate that your father passed away recently, and that you're
Speaker 3: going now to go meet this part of your family.
Speaker 3: Do you think that because of that there is like
Speaker 3: stuff there? Wait, what like your relationship that you didn't
Speaker 3: have a relationship with your dad? Probably? Yeah, I feel
Speaker 3: like even dad just like the black side of your family.
Speaker 3: Really you said culturally, so so like that part of
Speaker 3: your family wasn't like even even the white guys I've dated.
Speaker 1: The white guys I've dated are usually like the ones
Speaker 1: who've been assimilated into black culture, like they were the
Speaker 1: ones who grew up and had.
Speaker 3: Around black friend.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's the thing. No, never that, fuck it.
Speaker 1: Never who who's a.
Speaker 3: White rapper that's like that? Not like a Jack Harlow,
Speaker 3: not like not even like an MBM.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, just like respectable white men who understand
Speaker 1: black culture, who don't ask me why we're a fucking
Speaker 1: bonnet to sleep, Like just normal white people, white people,
Speaker 1: they've usually been more.
Speaker 3: They'd make the joke that they were like blacker than me.
Speaker 1: I was raised by a white mom, Like I, there's
Speaker 1: a certain things, there's certain things I can't help, but
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know what it is, like.
Speaker 3: I honestly, I can't.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I can't tell you, Like I like growing up
Speaker 1: my mom, My mom dated black guys, but she would
Speaker 1: point out beauty in all types of men, right, So
Speaker 1: like like the first I'll never forget the the Cinderella,
Speaker 1: the brandy one, the brandy with that that ag. I
Speaker 1: did end up having a baby with a Filipino man,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So like I feel like
Speaker 1: my my first my first crush was a man named
Speaker 1: Christiamanna and he would Japanese like, So.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I just have a type and I
Speaker 3: don't think.
Speaker 1: My thing is like we are a factor of our
Speaker 1: surroundings and ship and my mom just loves I just
Speaker 1: love a beautiful man. So race didn't really matter, you know,
Speaker 1: to me. They just so happened to be white, Latino
Speaker 1: or Asian. Those are the guys that I would like
Speaker 1: get into a relationship with. But I a hundred percent
Speaker 1: like there are black men out there.
Speaker 3: That I would date.
Speaker 1: But like I said, like usally once, I'm attracted to
Speaker 1: date fucking white women.
Speaker 3: Like my dad Jordan's no white girls the only one
Speaker 3: really I need to keep up with pop culture more.
Speaker 3: Damn it's Hollywood tidbit back to the trigger because biggest
Speaker 3: insecurity forehead is that let me see, No, she's smart,
Speaker 3: No gonna ask her. Turn off? Yeah, breath, turn on
Speaker 3: as we smoke it backward? Right you meant afterwards? Right,
Speaker 3: turn on emotional intelligence. Favorite porn category lesbian. Funny enough,
Speaker 3: that's the straightest thing I've ever watched.
Speaker 1: Only I only watched scissoring porn.
Speaker 3: I don't like straight porn. There's there's a word for cingering.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I don't want to say it, tribbing.
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone would know what but the girl
Speaker 3: the truth. My friend taught me that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, scissor ring is too, it's not it's tribbing. Is
Speaker 1: like give me missionary stulture, give me anyways. And I've
Speaker 1: actually tried it and it's hard as fuck to get
Speaker 1: off from.
Speaker 3: So I just you know, just watch it. Yeah, watch it.
Speaker 3: Deal breaker. Religion religious that was my one religion.
Speaker 1: Atheist, really spiritual atheist.
Speaker 3: What is a spiritual atheist?
Speaker 1: I don't believe in like one one pattern believe in like,
Speaker 1: oh God, I'm one of those Like, listen, I've done
Speaker 1: a lot of mushrooms.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of people who've done
Speaker 1: a lot of mushrooms can tell you the same thing.
Speaker 3: We are one.
Speaker 1: We are all interconnected. The God and you is the
Speaker 1: God and me, and it's like there's like you have
Speaker 1: you have your own.
Speaker 3: I'm very much a.
Speaker 1: Very free will type person, like I don't want to
Speaker 1: answer to anyone but myself for my life choices.
Speaker 3: So if it's okay with.
Speaker 1: Me and here, we're all good to go. As long
Speaker 1: as you're not hurting anybody, do what you want.
Speaker 3: Yeah, astrology sign Libra. Best advice you ever got. I
Speaker 3: don't know. People be telling me that could be it too. People,
Speaker 3: it's not advice advice. It's like a saying.
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know, honestly, Next.
Speaker 6: I don't have a piece of what do I It's okay,
Speaker 6: I don't think so I can't think of like advice
Speaker 6: like someone told me, oh, like do it ugly, like
Speaker 6: do it even when you don't want to, because I
Speaker 6: I am like still teaching myself the value of hard
Speaker 6: work because I grew up with a mom who's very
Speaker 6: like very depressed, and like just like she.
Speaker 1: Was just like she would let me quit anything, and
Speaker 1: she was like, you know, I just you know, you quit,
Speaker 1: you quit. I wish you wouldn't let me quit like ballet,
Speaker 1: and like I wish I could become like a little ballerina.
Speaker 3: How did you take a ballet class? I could, but should?
Speaker 3: My friend Edward teaches ballet in New Orleans to your
Speaker 3: friends class. I know we're gonna get on a group
Speaker 3: chat and I want a picture of you and your
Speaker 3: fucking ballerina. Okay, I want it. That's so funny. Good mom,
Speaker 3: this is a yes or no question. It's a trigger.
Speaker 1: Good mom practice bad choice.
Speaker 3: Daily you have completed. That was so terrifying. Not terrifying.
Speaker 1: I want to get canceled by one of those.
Speaker 3: Now, you don't get canceled here, you know, one get
Speaker 3: canceled anyone? True? Not how that works? High Now, Hi,
Speaker 3: I know, how did your mom feel about your sex work?
Speaker 1: You were the first person ever asked me that on
Speaker 1: like a podcast or anything like that. Okay, So the
Speaker 1: first time my mom ever found out about my sex
Speaker 1: work was because I had her co sign on a
Speaker 1: car for me. And I'm still pissed about this to
Speaker 1: this fucking day.
Speaker 3: Ooh, he better be glad. I don't remember his name
Speaker 3: right now. So I's with a tea. I call him
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 1: I you know, I needed a coat hunter because my
Speaker 1: credit was but I had the money to pay for
Speaker 1: this like Volkswagen Jedda, and I needed my mom to
Speaker 1: co sign. And so she comes in and she co
Speaker 1: signs on the car, and then she does it. But
Speaker 1: we go to dinner and she tells me that Tehran
Speaker 1: Teyrn told her that I was a stripper. I don't
Speaker 1: even know if that's fucking allowed. But I was doing
Speaker 1: a business deal with you, and he told my mom,
Speaker 1: so she was just like she was very up. My
Speaker 1: mom's a very Christian woman and I am not. So
Speaker 1: you know, in my head, I'm just trying to fuck
Speaker 1: is her vibe. I'm just trying to make some money,
Speaker 1: like I just didn't. And I actually did enjoy whole dancing.
Speaker 1: I did not enjoy like the last dances and stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the pole dancing, I was really glad.
Speaker 3: So I loved it.
Speaker 1: But she didn't, you know, she just didn't like it.
Speaker 3: She didn't like kick me out or anything.
Speaker 1: But fast forward when I was import, she didn't know
Speaker 1: about me and my baby daddy doing doing of together.
Speaker 1: I don't think she did, but she found out about my.
Speaker 3: Porn through a man she was dating. Yeah, and how
Speaker 3: did you start that conversation? Yeah, so I was cruise
Speaker 3: and the only fans is just explore page.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey, hey, hey, you know lady, i'm dating. I
Speaker 1: know you don't like dating guys who watch porn, but
Speaker 1: I was watching porn one day and you know, it's
Speaker 1: jerking with the left and pointing at your daughter to
Speaker 1: the fucking right, you know.
Speaker 3: And so he he tells her, and she.
Speaker 1: Tells me, I was just very defensive, and you know,
Speaker 1: I was like I don't give a fuck if you don't,
Speaker 1: you know, like it, but like this is just what
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 3: Like my whole thing about it was.
Speaker 1: From from my perspective with her. I have a lot
Speaker 1: of interesting feelings with my mother. After that, we didn't
Speaker 1: talk for eleven months. But it wasn't just because I
Speaker 1: was doing sex work. It was just this whole like
Speaker 1: way I was raised. Like I said, I was raised,
Speaker 1: she didn't really do much. I was not shown how
Speaker 1: to do anything, Like I don't know how to cook,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not a good cook. I don't like I
Speaker 1: don't inherently I am lazy because of her, because of
Speaker 1: what I saw her.
Speaker 3: Do it, and it pissed me off. Was she taken
Speaker 3: care of but she like a kept foolman she had
Speaker 3: a husband or she just did it so.
Speaker 1: The kept woman that's what you know, No, very much
Speaker 1: like she just did it. She didn't put effort into anything,
Speaker 1: and that made me mad because I wanted it so bad.
Speaker 1: As a kid, like I would watch like TV shows
Speaker 1: growing up, like on Disney or Nick right, and you
Speaker 1: see this mom like active and doing stuff with your kid,
Speaker 1: and I'm like mom, you know, but like also I
Speaker 1: don't blame my mom because she was left by my
Speaker 1: crackhead dad, so like she was going through a lot too.
Speaker 1: So I'm at the point right now with my mom
Speaker 1: of like, I love how we asked about how she
Speaker 1: feels about it, and I go on this tantrud about
Speaker 1: my mom.
Speaker 3: Anyways, it's important to understand who we're talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's like I always had this like resentment
Speaker 1: towards my mom because she was just so depressed and
Speaker 1: she didn't.
Speaker 3: Do anything with her life.
Speaker 1: So in my head, I'm like, at least I'm doing
Speaker 1: something because you didn't show me how to do shit.
Speaker 1: Like I had a job here and you know, I
Speaker 1: some little mishap happened and you told me to quit,
Speaker 1: and you let me quit, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like you didn't guide me. I had no guidance as
Speaker 1: a child or growing up, and I was pissed off
Speaker 1: about it. So you know, I'm like, yes, I guess
Speaker 1: I was making I can't even say it's a bad
Speaker 1: decision because there are some poorn girls out who love
Speaker 1: what they fuck they do, and so like, you know,
Speaker 1: sex workers do deserve rights and to not be belittle
Speaker 1: just because they're doing sex.
Speaker 3: Work. But obviously I was doing it not in full character,
Speaker 3: but whatever. But I was pissed off because you're judging me,
Speaker 3: but you didn't show me anything else. So you have
Speaker 3: a lost daughter.
Speaker 1: What the fuck else did you expect when you didn't
Speaker 1: do you didn't you know, like I raised, I'll say
Speaker 1: it like this, I feel like I am the way
Speaker 1: I am, like how open I am, how like you know,
Speaker 1: I don't subscribe to like yes, like like my alternativeness
Speaker 1: is just a direct correlation to the fact that I
Speaker 1: was left alone to figure out what was right and
Speaker 1: what was wrong, and like, you know, what was culture?
Speaker 1: I had to figure out what was culture. There was
Speaker 1: no culture at home, right, there was no there was
Speaker 1: no traditions at home. So I had to like the
Speaker 1: personally fent for myself and and but but but but
Speaker 1: the one thing she did always aspire me to do
Speaker 1: is to get a man. So that was, like, you know,
Speaker 1: another another big resentment that came that came from me
Speaker 1: towards my mother was just like, you know, we could
Speaker 1: be depressed and not do anything else with our life, but.
Speaker 3: We got to get a man. Got to get a man.
Speaker 3: There's nothing else you got in life. A man that's
Speaker 3: the same.
Speaker 1: It just pissed me off because, like you know, I
Speaker 1: was acting out of the way I was raised in
Speaker 1: a lot of ways, which was not much, and I
Speaker 1: was ship Oh, here goes the high brain.
Speaker 3: That just dropped me off. You've landed the plane. I've
Speaker 3: landed the plane. And I don't know where I was
Speaker 3: going with that, but well, I want to say that
Speaker 3: as as a as someone I who had just met
Speaker 3: you right now, and on looking into what you've shared,
Speaker 3: it seems like you have this. First of all, you're
Speaker 3: extremely incredibly resilient, and it feels like you're reparenting yourself,
Speaker 3: you're aberving yourself, and you're doing it publicly, and it
Speaker 3: is inspiring and it is so important, and I hope
Speaker 3: that you know that, like you're doing an amazing job.
Speaker 3: We're doing all the things that like little Via, it
Speaker 3: seems like she wanted and to feel supported in, you know,
Speaker 3: and wanted to feel safe doing. And you are not
Speaker 3: inherently lazy, like you're fucking doing it. You're you're trans
Speaker 3: you're transmuting that you're allowed to let that go and
Speaker 3: have a new identity and inherently adopt whatever the fuck
Speaker 3: else you want to replace that with yeah, and you're
Speaker 3: literally doing it real time, in real time. I see
Speaker 3: it like it's it's I'm sorry that that you didn't
Speaker 3: have the support from your mom, but I'm so glad
Speaker 3: that you have women that are coming in to show
Speaker 3: you what yeah looks like in different ways, and and
Speaker 3: just you as a mother expanding and evolving like just
Speaker 3: it's it's somatic medicine to your body and just everyone
Speaker 3: that is watching you. So just wanted to I wanted
Speaker 3: to say that because I feel it hurts me to
Speaker 3: hear that I see I can see you as a
Speaker 3: little girl, like you have so much life. There's so
Speaker 3: much there that is like now fully coming into full bloom,
Speaker 3: and there's still so much that I'm excited to see
Speaker 3: you unlock in this journey that you're on. But that's
Speaker 3: really that's really powerful you just shared. So thank you
Speaker 3: for sharing that, thank you for seeing me. Yeah, it's beautiful.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful to witness and the permission that you give.
Speaker 3: There's so much like the permission that you give, and
Speaker 3: women need to see women be unafraid and unashamed, and
Speaker 3: you do that really beautifully. And also while you know
Speaker 3: just being eloquent and brave and like a lot of
Speaker 3: women don't recognize that a lot of our work as
Speaker 3: mothers is mothering reparenting ourselves. Yeah, and like you were neglected,
Speaker 3: you know, like that's abuse in some forms, and sometimes
Speaker 3: you know, our parents don't know better, and but I don't.
Speaker 3: And I think women are so resilient that we it's
Speaker 3: easy to downplay the experiences that we experienced for long
Speaker 3: periods of time. But like, shout out to you doing
Speaker 3: the work to undo that for your son and like
Speaker 3: just just change the little like literal bloodline, you know.
Speaker 3: So congratulations. I think too as I'm thinking about this,
Speaker 3: and maybe you can relate to this because I heard
Speaker 3: you kind of give your mom some grace. When we
Speaker 3: become mothers, like we start to really be able to
Speaker 3: witness our own mothers in a different light, and like
Speaker 3: even it can make it rage can come up because
Speaker 3: it's not just like, oh, I'm going to give you
Speaker 3: grace because like, no, actually I'm even more angry now
Speaker 3: because I'm a mom and I see how how easy
Speaker 3: some of this shit could have been had you just
Speaker 3: paid attention. Then there's the other side of that where
Speaker 3: you're like damn, Like who were your parents? Like why
Speaker 3: are you the way you are? Like you know and
Speaker 3: and just wow, you were so Like I think about
Speaker 3: my mom, Like my mom was so young when she
Speaker 3: had me, Like I didn't know what the fuck fuck,
Speaker 3: like she you know what the fuck she was doing.
Speaker 3: And same with you you're a young mom as well,
Speaker 3: Like there's all this expectation around when you become a mom,
Speaker 3: you just have to know and have it figured out,
Speaker 3: and like there's this imaginary book that's gonna tell you
Speaker 3: how to take care of this this like child that
Speaker 3: is not like you, and like it's just like there's
Speaker 3: there's none of that, But when you become a mom,
Speaker 3: I feel like there's Its just widens the lens. And
Speaker 3: I'm just curious if that's been your journey too, of
Speaker 3: like widening that lens and seeing your mom in a
Speaker 3: different light around just like either the anger and also
Speaker 3: just like the forgiveness or if you've if you're there.
Speaker 1: Yet, no, like I remember, uh before my mom has
Speaker 1: surg we both had surgery, Like on the same day
Speaker 1: I have my boobs done.
Speaker 3: She had a little hip replacement I think big surgery.
Speaker 1: It was look great, thanks and she you know, I
Speaker 1: called her because I was like scared. This is when
Speaker 1: I told you I knew some something was gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And I was like I can't wait. I like I
Speaker 1: had called her.
Speaker 3: And I was just crying, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 3: what did I tell her?
Speaker 1: I said, I said, I love you and I understand
Speaker 1: because I was like going through it with my son
Speaker 1: and I was like I understand that, Like this shit's hard,
Speaker 1: This shit's hard to like you have to show up
Speaker 1: for yourself.
Speaker 3: And then on top of that a little human being.
Speaker 3: Holy shit. Like you said, I've been reparenting myself.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to. I'm over here trying to parent myself,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I don't fucking not. I don't know the answer.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know what to do. I don't
Speaker 1: know how to react, Like I don't know how the space.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I don't have skills and I feel bad, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean?
Speaker 3: I have no skills.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, okay, oh gentle parenting. Oh I don't
Speaker 1: have that today, that's you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 1: sometimes I yell, sometimes I'm really angry. Sometimes I rally
Speaker 1: up that woman inside me that's her and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh god, I get it so constantly, you know, so
Speaker 1: I do give my mom that grace now, but I'm
Speaker 1: still angry. I'm still angry, and I don't, like I
Speaker 1: don't I don't know when this anger will subside or
Speaker 1: when I'll like I've forgiven her verbally and internally, but
Speaker 1: there's still some like I'm very like distant, you know,
Speaker 1: because it's just there's other things.
Speaker 3: Too, of course, you know what. I also feel like,
Speaker 3: I feel like as you intentionally make more friends that
Speaker 3: are women and find those circles in that tribe, like
Speaker 3: it will help like that relationship with your mom, I
Speaker 3: feel like it heals it. Like in some way I
Speaker 3: realize that, you know, like when I have really in
Speaker 3: a good like when I work on my friendships with women,
Speaker 3: It's made it easier for me to see my mom,
Speaker 3: like even like doing the retreat work, like just seeing
Speaker 3: the many ways that we show up, like it's just
Speaker 3: like it it just I don't know it heals it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: like a big way.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like a big way for one
Speaker 1: of the things I'm angry about, I guess right now
Speaker 1: is like my mom likes to to to find comfort
Speaker 1: by relating even if it doesn't require relating right. Big
Speaker 1: example is like when my father passed and I called her.
Speaker 1: The first thing she talked about was how hard her
Speaker 1: relationship is with her dad right now. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I need you to mother me. I don't need a friend.
Speaker 1: I don't need a relate mom my mom my dad
Speaker 1: just died. Hey, hey, wake up, Like you know you want.
Speaker 1: I want to say that.
Speaker 3: Though this is about me. This is just first second me.
Speaker 1: And I didn't say that, and I just was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm driving on the bridge.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1: So there's like there's a level of mothering I need
Speaker 1: from my mom, then I'll think I'll ever get oh no,
Speaker 1: And so that that, like you said, like with the
Speaker 1: having women girlfriends in your life is like absolutely healing
Speaker 1: for that reason because I've gotten so much mothering and
Speaker 1: loving from my girlfriends that like if my mom never
Speaker 1: got it, if I never got it from my mother,
Speaker 1: at least I have it here.
Speaker 3: And that's why it's.
Speaker 1: Like and the same thing with like my my father,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I've met I've met
Speaker 1: platonic male friends who have given me that slice of
Speaker 1: like fatherly enner or you know what I mean, like
Speaker 1: some guidance that wasn't sexual that you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: And that is all necessary and the fact of the
Speaker 1: matter is, and this is what I'm learning, like from
Speaker 1: my dad's.
Speaker 3: Death, is that.
Speaker 1: Like I always say, like I oh that, like like
Speaker 1: I wanted that hug from my father. Like there's just
Speaker 1: like one thing I wanted, maybe even a conversation, but
Speaker 1: like the hug from my dad, and I might not
Speaker 1: be able to get. That's that's like the whole thing
Speaker 1: about being an adult and being having responsible It's up
Speaker 1: for me to go, like if I need that, go
Speaker 1: get it, because like not everybody in your life can give.
Speaker 3: You everything that you need.
Speaker 1: And that's one thing I realized was like with my
Speaker 1: son too, I cannot give him everything that he needs.
Speaker 1: But thank God, like me, right up, I just had
Speaker 1: my mom, dad was it, And I didn't get I
Speaker 1: didn't get fatherly energy from her. I barely got motherly
Speaker 1: energy from her. So I grew up like this empty person.
Speaker 1: But my son has such a huge fan there's kind
Speaker 1: of this relief that like I don't have to give
Speaker 1: him everything, Like I don't have to give him everything
Speaker 1: he needs because like he gets certain things from his dad.
Speaker 3: It's not your job.
Speaker 1: Not your job, you can't do everything for everything, like
Speaker 1: I feel like with like parents in the community is
Speaker 1: so because as you guys know, like being single moms,
Speaker 1: like in feeling like you have to give everything to
Speaker 1: your kid is hard and if you hopefully have family
Speaker 1: around that can sometimes supplement it.
Speaker 3: It's needed.
Speaker 1: But it's like we can't expect everything from somebody. So
Speaker 1: it's like I need this from my mom, I need
Speaker 1: this for my dad, And I have a feeling that
Speaker 1: I that they will die and I won't get that
Speaker 1: from either of them, and I'll.
Speaker 3: Just have to go find it myself.
Speaker 1: And I have to find it within too, because you know,
Speaker 1: it can't rely on your friends or a partner or anything.
Speaker 1: Like I truly feel that.
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't. I don't know what my purpose
Speaker 3: is in life. I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I'm like doing stuff now that like might be considered
Speaker 1: a purpose or whatever, but like my internal purpose is
Speaker 1: to give myself everything I wasn't given.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and by giving it to yourself, you're giving it
Speaker 3: to the world you are and whatever that looks like.
Speaker 3: And the thing is you could do whatever the fuck
Speaker 3: you want. You're doing it because you created it without
Speaker 3: thinking about it. It's authentic, it's true. It rings loudly.
Speaker 3: So it's like you don't have to worry. You don't
Speaker 3: have shit to worry about. Like you have everything that
Speaker 3: you need. Your existence is your purpose. Yes, literally, you
Speaker 3: just get to be you. It doesn't have to be
Speaker 3: anything else. It doesn't have to be a fucking something
Speaker 3: with a certificate, an actor or a title. Your existence.
Speaker 3: You're seeing it happen. God is trying to show you
Speaker 3: or whatever you're spiritual, whatever the fuck you believe, is
Speaker 3: trying to show you that your existence is like you.
Speaker 3: That's it. That's it, you're doing it sounds fun, it's
Speaker 3: so fun. Okay, but we complicated because women like because
Speaker 3: because like me and Mila have God to come to
Speaker 3: this as well too. Like us being ourselves is the brand,
Speaker 3: us sharing our truth is that that's it. When we
Speaker 3: stray from that, shit starts to get weird. Yeah you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. So it's like us that is
Speaker 3: as women, we have been told that we have to
Speaker 3: have this, this title, the mother, the wife, all these things,
Speaker 3: like just us existing in our truest form which you are,
Speaker 3: which you put on display for the world, and whether
Speaker 3: or not you decide to do that all forever or not,
Speaker 3: like it'll materialize into whatever else is for you as
Speaker 3: long as you are yourself always yeah, and so sorry
Speaker 3: and so anyway, sorry, I just I can I share.
Speaker 1: My favorite quote that please has inspired I feel like
Speaker 1: and this became my favorite quote. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll say, like fourteen fourteen, like you said, like, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm living little Villa's dreams. It's funny because I always
Speaker 1: say I'm living my fourteen year old tumbler life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there was a quote that came across probably tumblr
Speaker 1: pinch is probably Tumblr when I was fourteen, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna live by this and it was
Speaker 1: John Lennon and he goes, when I was five years old,
Speaker 1: the teacher asked me what I wanted to be when
Speaker 1: I grew up, and I wrote down happy, and I
Speaker 1: turned the paper into the teacher and she goes, you
Speaker 1: didn't understand the assignment, and he goes, I don't think
Speaker 1: you understand life.
Speaker 3: And I was like, that has always been my what
Speaker 3: do you want?
Speaker 1: What do you want to be? I fucking know I really,
Speaker 1: I just want to be happy. And that is the
Speaker 1: thing is like it doesn't look like anything. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it looks like. I have aesthetic goals, you know,
Speaker 1: but like there's a feeling too, so that that's I
Speaker 1: feel like how I'm trying to go about life with
Speaker 1: like the friends I find, the friends like you.
Speaker 3: Make me feel happy. It's all it matters.
Speaker 1: I don't care what you look like. I don't care
Speaker 1: how much money you may like. You're here, you you
Speaker 1: felp feel this. You're in my life, you know. And
Speaker 1: same thing will go with a man. If you stressed
Speaker 1: me a fuck out, you got bucking and out of
Speaker 1: here because he's about to stress me out. My life.
Speaker 1: My life is for happiness, uh huh, and just and
Speaker 1: trying new shit. You were a photographer last year, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Like you're on you're in the manifestation and you're in
Speaker 3: the journey of like what it is that what of
Speaker 3: your purpose?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: And so I think, and you take enough mushrooms, you
Speaker 3: may take even more journey if I need to go
Speaker 3: on a macro bitch and just really a.
Speaker 1: While, I'm a macro in years.
Speaker 3: I understand, but I guess, I guess the point is
Speaker 3: is that like so many of us are seeking something
Speaker 3: and like what is what am I supposed to do?
Speaker 3: Who am I supposed to be? And I spent so
Speaker 3: much of my twenties doing that. I like look at
Speaker 3: my diary entries and so many times I swear to
Speaker 3: God on December thirty first, every year was like this year,
Speaker 3: I'm going to figure out my purpose. Literally, That's what
Speaker 3: I fucking said every year. Like am I an actor?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't think I'm very good at it.
Speaker 3: Maybe I'm good sometimes I get step, but I don't
Speaker 3: a lot. And then like am I a singer? No,
Speaker 3: I don't. I think I'm I'm kind of good, but
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm good at that either. Like
Speaker 3: you know, it was just like over and over and
Speaker 3: over again, and then I remember, like finally arriving to
Speaker 3: a certain point in my life. This is only few
Speaker 3: years ago where I was like, I'm this is my purpose,
Speaker 3: My existence is the purpose. Whatever the fuck and whatever
Speaker 3: I do within that experience is great. But overall, just
Speaker 3: me being here and you being here, after everything that
Speaker 3: you've been through, after everything that you're moving through like
Speaker 3: your existence. That's what it is. That you still get
Speaker 3: to exist as someone who's who's seeking their happiness and
Speaker 3: and gets to be themselves like that is that's the purpose.
Speaker 3: And choosing to grow and evolve and do better, that's
Speaker 3: the whole point. If you're not trying to do better
Speaker 3: every day, be a better version of yourself, like know
Speaker 3: yourself more, understand yourself more, love yourself more, forgive yourself more.
Speaker 3: That is the purpose. You don't have, Like you don't
Speaker 3: have to have your id MB or whatever the fuck
Speaker 3: you're freaking what is the other one? IMDb? No, the
Speaker 3: other was LinkedIn you can tell what is that professional one?
Speaker 3: It's a professional Facebook. I mean it's true, though, I'm
Speaker 3: sick of this worldly world. Like I love the world,
Speaker 3: but I'm over it, like like the hustle and the bustle.
Speaker 3: I'm like, this is not it. Yeah, this is not.
Speaker 1: It's like being creative honest.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I like go some down so many avenues.
Speaker 3: I just want to create. I want to do it all. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but without being like is this the end?
Speaker 1: On Stephen Spielberg After I did I just saw your
Speaker 1: painted silver on Instagram A few days ago.
Speaker 3: It's like, look like you're it girl, just try it all.
Speaker 3: It's not having fun time.
Speaker 1: But I feel like there's there's a part of me
Speaker 1: that does yearn for the discipline. I will say that
Speaker 1: because I was doing this live the other day. I
Speaker 1: think this art brand named Rotto really cool art. He
Speaker 1: was talking about how he, like, you know, he wanted
Speaker 1: to to complete like there was some artists out there
Speaker 1: that did a certain amount of paintings.
Speaker 3: In a year, was like thousands and thousands, and he
Speaker 3: was like, that's this many paintings drawings a year.
Speaker 1: So I want to like be dedicated to something, right,
Speaker 1: There's a part of me it's like I want to
Speaker 1: find something either artistically or career wise, to like dedicate
Speaker 1: myself to.
Speaker 3: When is the first thing that comes to mind singing? Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's the longest goal I have. It's the longest goal.
Speaker 1: Like I would I would pay good money to be
Speaker 1: trained vocally, like to be to be like my goal
Speaker 1: is my forty to be on Broadway because I love
Speaker 1: New York, but I also love barbar Strii sand Uh
Speaker 1: and have a really strong voice, like I've already you know,
Speaker 1: I like I've already had a singing teacher tell me
Speaker 1: I was a coloratra, which is.
Speaker 3: What it's like. The it's like the high have we
Speaker 3: never seen you sing? I sing all the time on
Speaker 3: my Instagram.
Speaker 1: You do, I do, but the videos never go viral
Speaker 1: because they're not that like people think, say, I can sing,
Speaker 1: but I have a very high expectation of what my
Speaker 1: voice should sound like and how good and clear and
Speaker 1: like all the things.
Speaker 3: I'm like a little nerd about it.
Speaker 1: So it's one of those things that like, you'll never
Speaker 1: see me out here making music unless I am perfect
Speaker 1: in my voice, which.
Speaker 3: I think would happen by forty ten years. Trying to
Speaker 3: give yourself a ten year ten years a great I mean,
Speaker 3: Broadway is a good goal. I like, I'll be at
Speaker 3: the show. Well, what do you consider discipline? Like is
Speaker 3: it like forever or is it like an extended amount
Speaker 3: of time that you.
Speaker 1: Study, like something like yeah, like something that like I've
Speaker 1: spent ten thousand hours And they say, you know, in
Speaker 1: order to be great at something, you have to spend
Speaker 1: like ten thousand hours doing it.
Speaker 3: Ye write, so I used to. I find it hard
Speaker 3: to write.
Speaker 1: I'm a yapper. I like talking. I like talking. I
Speaker 1: like speech to text.
Speaker 3: I don't like writing.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is about it, Like I
Speaker 1: can get so much out so much faster speaking.
Speaker 3: But I used to write.
Speaker 1: I used to write poetry and short stories. I think
Speaker 1: there is something there. I definitely think there's something there.
Speaker 1: I wrote the little short film you know, last year,
Speaker 1: so I in doses. But it's the one thing my
Speaker 1: mom probably got right. She was like, you need to
Speaker 1: be a writer, And there's always been that thing that
Speaker 1: I really do you want to write? Like, but I
Speaker 1: feel like if I started, I won't be able to stop, because.
Speaker 3: Well that's the point. Yeah, I know, why do you
Speaker 3: want to stop? I'm I get very I have a
Speaker 3: fear of like things that i'd be good at. Oh't know.
Speaker 3: It sounds like once you get over that fear, you're
Speaker 3: gonna lock into these fucking discipline everything.
Speaker 1: I think discipline terrifies the fuck out of me, Like
Speaker 1: true discipline is it discipline of routine? Like what do
Speaker 1: you the discipline?
Speaker 3: I always talk about reframing discipline as devotion because discipline
Speaker 3: has like this really heavy expectation around it, and if
Speaker 3: you fall off the path somehow, you become unworthy of
Speaker 3: whatever path you've been on and you'll start from the
Speaker 3: very beginning and do it all over again. And it's
Speaker 3: like this masochistic version of what actually like is the point,
Speaker 3: which is to get better and like excel at something.
Speaker 3: So what if you just looked at it is like
Speaker 3: you devoted yourself to something like you really love, like
Speaker 3: whether that was like recording a song a week for
Speaker 3: a whole year, that's a discipline right there. That's fifty
Speaker 3: five that's fifty five songs in ay year if you
Speaker 3: view it that way, so just like you were eating
Speaker 3: it to music. Okay, I see what you mean. Just agree,
Speaker 3: but okay, not even writing, but just like restructuring. How
Speaker 3: we view whatever that said discipline is that you want
Speaker 3: to get into and viewing it as like this like
Speaker 3: what you're doing, which is really you're already in devotion
Speaker 3: to yourself right now, you're already reparenting yourself. You kind
Speaker 3: of already are in discipline. I know it may not
Speaker 3: be like a specific thing that like you're looking at,
Speaker 3: but sometimes you sometimes you're so busy still thinking that
Speaker 3: we don't possess the thing, that we won't acknowledge that
Speaker 3: we are already already derived. Yeah, you're so busy telling
Speaker 3: yourself a story about yourself, or you think it looks
Speaker 3: just like this, it's the gym that did it, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean? Like right, But that's not necessarily
Speaker 3: what that means, because the bitch as most concept as
Speaker 3: you post your you have.
Speaker 1: Disciplined, there's so much more contant you are.
Speaker 3: You have excelled, You have made eighteen hundred hours. Like
Speaker 3: let me tell you. You'll put it on the LinkedIn
Speaker 3: for sure. I'll take that. Editing editor, makeup artist, lovely,
Speaker 3: I'll take it. Oh my god, this has been so wonderful.
Speaker 3: I really enjoyed talking to you again to know you
Speaker 3: this is good and I want to tell you like
Speaker 3: you're thirty. Oh I fucking love it. But this, this,
Speaker 3: this is when it gets good. I don't know. I
Speaker 3: feel it something like boils up at thirty and like
Speaker 3: a woman's pussy and it's like yeah right, it's like
Speaker 3: a simmer like auldron. I just feel like something activates
Speaker 3: if you give it permission to. It's either like you
Speaker 3: suppress or you wake up. There's an awakening that happens,
Speaker 3: and like in alignment, it's like magical. You're a magical
Speaker 3: witchy power as you start to notice it's not a
Speaker 3: coincidence that you actually can speak anything you want into existence.
Speaker 3: That like having a bunch of girlfriends is the fucking manifestation.
Speaker 3: Like it's just like power, pussy power, and it comes
Speaker 3: out in all types of ways. So like, I'm really
Speaker 3: excited to see you on Broadway. I'm really excited to
Speaker 3: see what this next ten years brings. And like it's
Speaker 3: really I'm really grateful that or you know that you
Speaker 3: you ended up here on our couch. I thank you
Speaker 3: guys for inviting me. I'm honestly so excited and witchy powers.
Speaker 3: Let's put your witchy.
Speaker 1: Powers into Okay, I forgot about this trot time, let's
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: H m h m hmmmm.
Speaker 3: So let's just take a few deep breaths. O. Let
Speaker 3: me hear you with that sound you want to I
Speaker 3: want to hear that. Let's like you more more. Ah ah.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it takes a second for our bodies to believe us. Like, bitch,
Speaker 3: I'm breathing, I am right, I am man. Five am
Speaker 3: doing good. Okay, your turn, So what do I do?
Speaker 3: Just pick one?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah to me, all of us, everybody who's.
Speaker 3: This oh, it's at the nine of Pentacles. Yes it is.
Speaker 3: That's a good one. Okay, what does this mean? Middle
Speaker 3: is gonna tell you she experienced and she looks like
Speaker 3: she's thriving.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Signal like a lot of abundance. But the first thing
Speaker 3: it says abundance, luxury, self sufficiency, financial independence. It says
Speaker 3: you have worked hard to create abundance in your life,
Speaker 3: and the Nine of Pentacles says, now you can finally
Speaker 3: enjoy the fruits of your labor thanks to your independent efforts,
Speaker 3: self confidence, and discipline. It's just looking weird, that's weird.
Speaker 3: You attained a well deserves success and created a stable
Speaker 3: foundation for your material wealth and comfort. Now sit back, relax,
Speaker 3: and enjoy the luxuries and pleasures of the good life. Money, leisure, time, fun,
Speaker 3: material comfort and rest. You deserve it. When the Nine
Speaker 3: of Pentacles appears in a terror reading, do not be
Speaker 3: scared to splurge, indulge, or pamper yourself, especially as a
Speaker 3: reward for all of your work, especially at the spot.
Speaker 3: For all of your hard work, especially the spot, treat
Speaker 3: yourself as special to special occasion or personal gift to
Speaker 3: celebrate your journey here. You have already achieved so much,
Speaker 3: and while you may not be in the finish line
Speaker 3: just yet, this is your opportunity to acknowledge your achievements
Speaker 3: and re energize yourself for the final phase. And so
Speaker 3: it is, so it is, oh my god for this.
Speaker 3: Take a picture. Yeah right, She's like, we need.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: That is beautiful. I love that. It sounds it's very
Speaker 3: weird too. I'm like, no, but it never fails. It
Speaker 3: ever fails. Every time we do this, We wait to
Speaker 3: the end and it always reflects what we're talking about everything.
Speaker 3: It's insane time. I loved that. Yeah, because they're witches.
Speaker 3: Bitch honestly, bitches be witchous. You know not what to
Speaker 3: do what she has m hmmm, do you have a
Speaker 3: horry for us today? Maybe we can put our horry
Speaker 3: on Patreon. We yeah, we're gonna. So we have a
Speaker 3: segment on our show called horror Stories. So if you
Speaker 3: want to hear VIA's horror story, then make sure you
Speaker 3: subscribe to Patreon. That's Good Moms Bad Choices dot com. Wait, no,
Speaker 3: it's not. That's patreon dot com slash Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 3: You you need to join anyway. It's been a minute.
Speaker 3: You've heard us talk about our Patreon. Once you join Patreon,
Speaker 3: you get asked access to our discord, which is an
Speaker 3: incredible community of women connecting, talking, sharing all of our
Speaker 3: host shit, all of our bad choices, all of our
Speaker 3: witch rituals, all of our giving each other like get girl,
Speaker 3: guess what, giving each other advice, like rallying each other. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of moms in
Speaker 3: your city that you can connect with, or women just
Speaker 3: in general. So, yeah, what is your horse story?
Speaker 1: I originally came in here with one. Do you want
Speaker 1: to hear the four women in the back of a
Speaker 1: Honda or do you want to hear the Spanish fox
Speaker 1: the strip club, the Spanish silver fox at the strip club?
Speaker 3: Whose stories wonderful? Oh? That was great? Thank you? That
Speaker 3: was worth it. Well, yeah, it's been good to Full Spectrum.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Thank you for joining us. And
Speaker 3: like me Liss said, I'm really excited to see continue
Speaker 3: to be able to witness your journey, hopefully in our
Speaker 3: group text that we're going to form, because I'm gonna
Speaker 3: make you send me that picture of you at ballet.
Speaker 3: I know, right, I wish it was just like a week,
Speaker 3: a whole weekend experience. Tomorrow we're gonna go to ballet
Speaker 3: class together. I know there might be a ballet class tonight.
Speaker 3: You know, we're right by Millennium. Oh my god, they're
Speaker 3: always interpretive. I was dancing right, but nobody wants to
Speaker 3: go there because they're all fucking super professional. Calm down, Katie,
Speaker 3: I hated I hate going there.
Speaker 1: Actually, have you been a Millennium No, I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to take a dance class.
Speaker 3: I think I'm a great dancer, and I think i'd
Speaker 3: like eat it up. I don't know. I think you
Speaker 3: could dance it. I'm not when they put those small groups,
Speaker 3: I'm like, please, I can't do choreography, that's what it is.
Speaker 3: I'm more of interpretive. Yeah, I'm on, you know, you
Speaker 3: know what I'm really going to want to but actually
Speaker 3: I want to go back to Karma's class. She just
Speaker 3: invited me to something this weekend. Actually, okay, yeah, shout
Speaker 3: out to What's What's her? What's her Sensuality? By Karma
Speaker 3: es sentuality. She has these really sexy classes.
Speaker 1: Everybody.
Speaker 3: It makes me feel like I can dance. I'm like,
Speaker 3: it's just like that's it. I'm just ease our way
Speaker 3: into hip hop. You know, I'm not. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I have all that skill. Know
Speaker 3: what you're good at.
Speaker 1: I'm a sexy dancer me specifically, I want to do
Speaker 1: like heels class.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm here. There's one this weekend. She said
Speaker 3: it to me tomorrow. Oh yeah, it's the weekend. Now,
Speaker 3: Well there we go. Okay, well we'll be posting that soon.
Speaker 3: Tell me tell the people where they can find you via.
Speaker 1: All my hands got going on, right, All my handles
Speaker 1: are my life as Via except the one on TikTok
Speaker 1: it's underscore, and my life is via underscore, and Snapchat
Speaker 1: is my life is via with two ways beautiful because
Speaker 1: my life is Via is taken I think by me.
Speaker 1: Actually you ad Yeah, it's like my old old account,
Speaker 1: a little personal one.
Speaker 3: You post different content on all these platforms, and I
Speaker 3: have such a hard time posting cross plot. What are
Speaker 3: you doing on Snapchat?
Speaker 1: I haven't figured Snapchat have that and I could be
Speaker 1: making money on Snapchat. I just hate Snapchat like I am.
Speaker 1: Just like, if I'm making content in the moment, it's
Speaker 1: with my real camera for vlog content I am. I
Speaker 1: can't do vlog content and then snapchat and then TikTok
Speaker 1: and then an Instagram story.
Speaker 3: You can just use some mom I want.
Speaker 1: You could, but I forget.
Speaker 3: I forget.
Speaker 1: It's so much and I'm not gonna take it selfies.
Speaker 1: I always forget to take selfies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, girl, that's probably all I got is selfie right,
Speaker 3: it's the other shit. I'm not not unposted selfies at that.
Speaker 3: Oh well, you guys know where to find us. Good
Speaker 3: Mom's underscore, Bad Choices, right, No, no, understand, no, good
Speaker 3: Mom's under Yeah, that's we're saying. God Amila Underscore map
Speaker 3: and I'm at watch Erica. Make sure you join the
Speaker 3: Good Vibe Retreat. Also follow us at the Good Vibe.
Speaker 3: We're going to Costa Rica this summer. Bitches. July twenty
Speaker 3: fourth through the twenty ninth is our All Women's Retreat.
Speaker 3: July fourteenth through the nineteenth. I Did that Backwards is
Speaker 3: our Mommy and Me Retreat. Come join us. Hit the
Speaker 3: link in this episode and come check it out and
Speaker 3: we'll see you next week. Bye bye