1 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: Today, we're speaking with Greta from the Bevy and Elite 2 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: matchmaking service based in LA and New York City. 3 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 2: Hi Bethany, how are you? 4 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:20,319 Speaker 1: Nice to meet you? 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 2: Nice to meet you. Let me just expand my screen 6 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 2: here so I can see you. You looked nice and 7 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 2: rested from your vacation. 8 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, thank you. So you have a partner 9 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 1: and you're matchmakers? Right? 10 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 2: Correct? 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: Okay, how long have you been doing this? 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 2: I've been doing this for almost fourteen years now. 13 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,200 Speaker 1: And the business is called what the Bevy? 14 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 2: Right? The Bevy? 15 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: The Bevy? Okay, what does that mean? Where did that 16 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:47,520 Speaker 1: come from? 17 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 2: The name came from. I wanted to create a name 18 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 2: that wasn't so sort of cupids and coffee and clouds 19 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 2: and all those things. I wanted something a little edgy 20 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 2: or a little bit more modern, and also sort of 21 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 2: the idea of a house or a club, even though 22 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 2: we don't do anything social, so just a group similar 23 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 2: to you know, private clubs or something like that. So 24 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 2: BEV means like a bevy of beauty's. That's really where 25 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 2: it's domning from. 26 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: Okay, And from my perspective, it seems like your business 27 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: is more niche and more like Barney's than commercial, Like 28 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: it doesn't feel like if I were to Google matchmaking 29 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: or high end matchmaking or something like that, I don't 30 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: know that your name would come up, not unlike what 31 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: you're saying, like a private club. So is there different 32 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: to the brand? Are you smaller? Do you have small 33 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 1: fewer clients? Do you charge more? Like? And I know 34 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 1: that your business you represent the men. The men are 35 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: the client the paying clients. 36 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 2: Right, correct? 37 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: Yes, okay, So what about my estimation or how I 38 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: see it? Is that correct or? Now? 39 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 2: I think that's a pretty perfect analogy. I always say 40 00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 2: we're boutique shopping versus department store shopping. So I would 41 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 2: go even on a more on a smaller scale than Barney's. 42 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 2: I would say, it's like even more exclusive. But Barneys 43 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 2: is a good example. 44 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: Sure, And so how many people are you servicing at 45 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: the same time? Is that how it works? Like you'd say, 46 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,919 Speaker 1: we won't take more than this, and we charge more 47 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: because we're giving them, you know, more of us private 48 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: school service versus public like more attention per client. 49 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 2: I think you know, we're very high touch service. And 50 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 2: just like when you're shopping in a boutique, you want 51 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 2: to know the people that you're working with, and then 52 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 2: they get to know your taste, and it becomes this 53 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 2: personal connection and sort of a service where you feel 54 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,359 Speaker 2: like or even at a restaurant, when you know the 55 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 2: waiter or the hostess or the barb attend there's this 56 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 2: like sense of comfort, and we wanted people to have 57 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 2: that feeling. So we do limit our clients. We work 58 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 2: for them men. We take up to about twenty five 59 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 2: clients at once, so it's very low volume but very 60 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 2: high touch. 61 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: Okay, so you're really curating this experience and how we 62 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: can get into why that would make you an expert? 63 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 1: What's the target audience that your client is? Like, the 64 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: man is what age to what age? What's the youngest really? 65 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: I mean, you might have someone in their twenties, but 66 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: what's really the range. 67 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: I would say, you know, sure, we've had clients in 68 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 2: their twenties, but I'd say it starts around thirty five. 69 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 2: We do have some like young successful men recently that 70 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 2: have had a lot of success at a younger age, 71 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 2: but I'd say on average, it's about between thirty five 72 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 2: and fifty five. And now actually it really varies. It's 73 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 2: gone up into the sixties and seventies recently, and then 74 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 2: there are other times where we see there's still lot 75 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 2: of younger men. We try to fill the gaps, and 76 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 2: you know, have a good variety of men because obviously 77 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: we want to service them and give them, you know, consistency. 78 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: And if you have seven fifty five year olds, they 79 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: are all competing with each other. With the women, you're 80 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 1: going to find correct. Okay, So, like let's say what 81 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: sweet spot is, like forty eight, fifty two, like fifty 82 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: that's like what? Because I would imagine someone has to 83 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: have disposable income, they made some money. 84 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 2: Right, I would say yeah. I would say on the 85 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 2: older half it's probably mid fifties and on the younger 86 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 2: half it's late thirties, early forties. 87 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: Okay, So what are you finding that is a really 88 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: common thread that men want? What do men want? 89 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 2: I would say a good sense of self. So a 90 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 2: woman who knows who she is, who's independent, meaning that 91 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 2: she has her own friends, she has her own goals, 92 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 2: she has their own passions. You know, I think they 93 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 2: want intellectual stimulation, and I think the good sense of 94 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: self is super important understanding who they are, what they want, 95 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: what they like, what they don't like. I think it 96 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 2: also depends on the stage of dating, so I could 97 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 2: break it into two parts. It's the people who are 98 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,840 Speaker 2: just starting and want to build a family and do 99 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 2: all that, and then there's the people starting their second 100 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 2: or third chapter where they're with kids, and it's it's 101 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 2: a totally different ballgame kind of because you know, maybe 102 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 2: religion or you know, trying to start a family, that's 103 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 2: not as important in that second chapter of life because 104 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 2: you've already done it right in both stages, I think 105 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 2: a good sense of self is important and not to 106 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 2: be you know, lost, or not to sort of diggyback. 107 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 2: I feel like men really wants a woman who is 108 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 2: like confident. 109 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,839 Speaker 1: Well, this is very this is very, very interesting because 110 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,039 Speaker 1: I've heard from different matchmakers different things, and I like 111 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: when there's something new because we can add a toolkit. 112 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: We've talked about compatibility with one person. We've talked about 113 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: an energy match, which is really different, and then tools 114 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: for when you're dating. But often I think I have 115 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: not had a problem meeting men in my life, and 116 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 1: I've sometimes surprised myself because I've said to myself as 117 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: I've gotten older, wow, this is going to be harder 118 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: now and what I always come back to in my mind, 119 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 1: but I'm not. I haven't generalized it as much as you. 120 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 1: What I've come back to is that I've done well 121 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 1: because I have my own career and my own independence 122 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: and my own frankly money. But you're making it something 123 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: that's interesting because it may not be someone could be 124 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: working in charity, someone could be a yoga teacher. Someone 125 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: may not have my financial resources or the level of 126 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: my career. But if they have a strong sense of self, 127 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 1: which I also do have like someone meaning they have 128 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: their own identity, their own program. And I find that 129 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 1: a lot of women want to fold into a man's program. 130 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: And while that might seem attractive to a man in 131 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: the beginning, because obviously it doesn't want their way or 132 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: the highway, they may not respect that. And it also 133 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 1: goes the other way, in my opinion, with women with men. 134 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 1: Some men just like fold fold into a woman's program. 135 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: I think it goes on both sides, but for a 136 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: woman it's particularly important because traditionally women seem to want 137 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: to get the ring, get the dress, get the whole thing, 138 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: and like just be home waiting for the man. And 139 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: I think that that's where someone loses themselves and something 140 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: else I wanted to discuss. Yeah, you said sense of self, 141 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: and I'm saying women lose themselves. And what I have found, 142 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: without getting into detail, is I have met a strong, 143 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: a staggering percentage of men that I have met that 144 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: have been interested in me, who have custody of their 145 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: children because the wife started, you know, getting into things 146 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: that maybe they shouldn't have gotten into, and lost themselves 147 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: and have made poor decisions in their own lives, and 148 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: as a result, the men have custody. And I've in 149 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: my mind seen this in a lot of suburban communities 150 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: with bored housewives. They lived everything for their husband and 151 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: then they get bored and maybe they're drinking, maybe they're partying, 152 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: maybe they want to get a little action. And it's 153 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: crazy how that that pendulum swings a woman who seems 154 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 1: like she's on top of the world when they meet her, 155 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: and then she dissolves or deteriorates. And I think what 156 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: you're saying, that's that's about purpose, that's about self. And 157 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: I think it's very interesting what you're talking about. 158 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 2: And I think it's also not only just losing your 159 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 2: sense of self and someone like your husband or vice versa, 160 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 2: but also just trying to be something that you're not 161 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 2: and that you see that again, so you know, someone 162 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 2: else's light or being like having no identity or good 163 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 2: sense of self and just being like that woman over there. 164 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: Well, what you're saying, I've heard too. I heard. I 165 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: was speaking to a very wealthy man who was married 166 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: to this woman who's been married multiple times, and he said, 167 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: she's the woman you were out with her. You said 168 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,719 Speaker 1: you were into lacrosse. She was into lacrosse. You were 169 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: into you know, football on Sundays. She was into football 170 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: on Sundays and chicken wings. Like she would fold into 171 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: what you wanted her to be because she wanted to 172 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: lie the man. Yeah, but that how long can you 173 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: go on with that? Because it's back to what you're saying. 174 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: And I just think the self thing is really fascinating 175 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: and simple. It's simple. It's maybe not simple for someone 176 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: to find themselves because people don't even know who they 177 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: are sometimes, but to at least be honest, even if 178 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 1: you are flawed or having problems, are struggling, to be 179 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 1: honest and live in that without being a train wreck. 180 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 2: I would say, yeah, and you just have to ask yourself. 181 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 2: I think you know when you're looking for love and 182 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 2: dating and even when you're in a relationship, is just 183 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 2: asking yourself the right questions. And you know to do 184 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 2: that a lot, you know, connecting with yourself, like, well, 185 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 2: it makes you happy, what makes you feel safe? What 186 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 2: makes you know? What brings you happiness. 187 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: Well, we've talked about someone being a full person on 188 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 1: their own before wanting to look for a relationship. And 189 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,200 Speaker 1: often someone gets out of a relationship, or someone's getting older, 190 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,559 Speaker 1: or it is living in fear and wants to make 191 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: it happen and rush and you end up making poor 192 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 1: decisions because you don't have your own strong identity and 193 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: sense of self to your point, and I think that 194 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: I see a lot of rushing and I think I've 195 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: done I don't want to say rushing. But you see 196 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: something great and you go to the mall, you see 197 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,760 Speaker 1: something great and you're just like, okay, I'll take that, 198 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: and versus like being patient. So it's a ridiculous thing 199 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,319 Speaker 1: to say how long should it take? Because someone could 200 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: meet someone at the dry cleaner today and fall in love. 201 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: But do you feel that it's a time consuming process 202 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: to really find what you're looking for and that you're 203 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: seeing that people do have the tendency to rush, for sure. 204 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:38,559 Speaker 2: I think everyone likes the comfort of being in a relationship. 205 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 2: You know, there's a wedding coming, there's a vacation, you 206 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 2: want to have that person to bring. Often there's some 207 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 2: people who are just now comfortable being alone. They don't 208 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 2: like the time to themselves, And I think if you're 209 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 2: a person like I, that you should definitely work on 210 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,439 Speaker 2: it because it's important, you know, to reflect in your 211 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 2: own sort of environment and your own thoughts, and especially 212 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 2: if you're getting out of a relationship and wanting to 213 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 2: get into another one, you have to take the time 214 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 2: to reflect and be alone. And even if you meet 215 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 2: someone and you're like smitten, head over heels, I think, 216 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 2: don't put all your eggs among basket, like really take 217 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 2: the time and maybe keep yourself an internal timeline. Say 218 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 2: I'm going to give this, you know, I'm going to 219 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 2: date for three months and not commit to anyone solely, 220 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,680 Speaker 2: and then maybe I'll narrow it down. 221 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 1: That's amazing because I took months to just like heal 222 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: and do therapy, and it doesn't it could be longer 223 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: than six to eight months who knows. But then then 224 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: once the clock starts and you decide you're going to date. 225 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: I also said to myself, I was going to take 226 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: a certain period of time to not you know, to 227 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,839 Speaker 1: have the burners going, the multiple Viking burner's going. I 228 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: call it something on boil, something on simmer or take 229 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: everything off. And sometimes you feel like you're not driving someone. 230 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: You meet someone and they're love bombing you or like 231 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: they want you to lock it down or make a 232 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: decision because they are. And I think that takes some 233 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: self discipline too, to the point, like to sort of 234 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,679 Speaker 1: just be clear with someone where you are in your 235 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 1: process because you're not afraid that you're going to lose 236 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,719 Speaker 1: that like you want to you know what I mean, 237 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: being not afraid that you'll lose them if you don't 238 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 1: commit right away. 239 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 2: And I think it just telling them that say, I 240 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,319 Speaker 2: really like you and I don't want to lose you, 241 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 2: but I'm not ready to take it to that level 242 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 2: right now. I just want you to know that it's 243 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,960 Speaker 2: not because I dislike you or don't think that you're 244 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 2: great for me. I just I can't move into that 245 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 2: phase at this very moment. So either they can respect that, 246 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 2: or they say I'm sorry, I have to move on 247 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 2: because I want to move to that level with someone, 248 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 2: and you know what, say okay, because they might come back. 249 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 2: You never know. 250 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: Well, that's an interesting thing too that it seems like 251 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: many matchmakers, as much as they want to make a match, 252 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: they also seem to want someone to really play the field. 253 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: And what does that mean? Does that mean you know 254 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: filler guys? Like is there such a thing as just 255 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: go out with them and have a good time even 256 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,719 Speaker 1: if it's not going to be something or or can 257 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,440 Speaker 1: someone not emotionally handle that? Does every person that someone's 258 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: going out with have to be a possibility? Like recently 259 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: there was someone that was very interested in me and 260 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: I just didn't think that it was the right fit. 261 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 1: And I believe that you have to take responsibility not 262 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 1: only for your own feelings, but if you find that 263 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 1: someone else is a good or kind person for theirs 264 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,199 Speaker 1: also and to like cut them loose, not let them. 265 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 1: I call it twisting in the wind, like you be 266 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: honest about it, versus just sometimes playing the field can 267 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: be insensitive. I think in the beginning, if you just 268 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: met someone and they're a perfect stranger, if they do 269 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: something that you don't love and it feels like it's 270 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: not a fit. You don't have to worry about the 271 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 1: bedside manner. But I do think in the dating process, 272 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: you know, so I'm asking you about those like sort 273 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: of in between purgatory men that you're not sure. But 274 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 1: I mean you're supposed to just like have someone that 275 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 1: seems convenient, or it's supposed to be only quality versus quantity. 276 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 2: I think again, I think if you've just gone through 277 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 2: a breakup, maybe you take that time before you would 278 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 2: hire or join a service like ours. I think it's 279 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 2: important to you know, explore and have some fun and 280 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 2: do whatever it is you need to do for you. 281 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 2: And then once you move into this you know outlet, 282 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 2: I think, then it's about finding the right person and 283 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: like you said, not stringing them along if it's not 284 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 2: a good fit. So when we take our clients on 285 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 2: and we are setting up people, it is with intention 286 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 2: and it is with you know, a lot of thought, 287 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 2: and in the beginning, you know, there might be some 288 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 2: trial and error because it's just like when you hire 289 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 2: a trainer or anything, and they sort of need to 290 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 2: get to know your body, just like we need to 291 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 2: know your taste, emotions, all these things. But we are 292 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 2: really thoughtful about people. Were introducing both our members are 293 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 2: female members and our mail clients too, because we don't 294 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: want to waste their time and it just creates more 295 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 2: work for us. 296 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: So it should take a while in life. And the 297 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: thing is, I think so I've advised businesses and some 298 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: people can't afford a publicist and explain to them how 299 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 1: to be their own publicist. And you know, I don't 300 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 1: have an agent. Most people at my level in entertainment 301 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: that get the kind of deals I get have an agent. 302 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 1: But we do it ourselves. So and I also went 303 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: through a ten year horrendous divorce and I ended up 304 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,120 Speaker 1: with primary custody and no child support. And I was 305 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 1: largely responsible for that because in many ways it became 306 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: my own lawyer within, you know, with the support of 307 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: my lawyer. So the reason I say all that is 308 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: not everybody can afford a matchmaker, and I do believe 309 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: people can be their own matchmaker. And so how would 310 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: you say people should navigate it. I have seen, I've 311 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,400 Speaker 1: dabbled on some of the apps. They can be daunting 312 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 1: and scary, and some can seem like a you know, 313 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 1: TJ Max where you could find a why a cell bag, 314 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: but you could also find a cracked Mabelene compact. And 315 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: I've seen the ones that are supposed to be higher 316 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 1: end and then people are sort of posing. So how 317 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: do you feel in twenty twenty four someone is supposed 318 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: to do this and navigate this on their own and 319 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 1: how you know deep does the research need to be? 320 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 2: Like? 321 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: What are some tools you would say for being your 322 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: own matchmaker? 323 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 2: I think listen. I think the apps are a great 324 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 2: you know, invention and outlet for people. I think there's 325 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 2: a lind for every pot and if that's what you 326 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 2: want to use, if that's the only thing you can 327 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 2: be is because maybe you're an introvert, you live in 328 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,479 Speaker 2: you know, there's no restaurants, who knows. I mean, there's 329 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 2: so many different reasons that people use them, and I 330 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 2: think it's so wonderful in so many ways. But I 331 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 2: also think that it can be incredibly you know a 332 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 2: lot of false information, a lot of fake and you know, 333 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 2: like just leading people on never meeting cat fishing, and 334 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,640 Speaker 2: I think I think there's it's also it's a lot 335 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 2: of work. So I think anyone who has access to 336 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:40,840 Speaker 2: people and friends and other resources should use those And 337 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 2: it's really just going back to, like, you know, what 338 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,719 Speaker 2: you did in the past. Ask your friends if they 339 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 2: have any single friends. Ask your married events who if 340 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 2: they have any single friends. You know, join a tennis team, 341 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 2: you know, chess club, go on a trip by yourself, 342 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 2: go to a city you've never been to and sit 343 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:05,639 Speaker 2: at the bar, and you know, just be present instead 344 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 2: of playing on your phone the whole time. I think 345 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 2: there's so many ways you can meet people, and you know, 346 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 2: you sort of when you do that, you sort of 347 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 2: exude this energy and this way, like I'm willing to 348 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 2: be approached, which is so infrequent these days because everyone's 349 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,120 Speaker 2: attached to their devices. So I think it's important to 350 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 2: use the other outlets as well unless you have no 351 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,640 Speaker 2: other option that it's. 352 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: How are you finding well? How well you really represent 353 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: the men? So how are they finding you? How are 354 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,679 Speaker 1: you finding them? Are you seeking? Are the men seeking 355 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: you at or are you sometimes seeing well, this guy 356 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 1: seems eligible, he's single, I want to work with him, Like, 357 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 1: how does that work? 358 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 2: So most of the time we're not seeking out the men. 359 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 2: They're coming to us and they look about us through 360 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 2: a friend through a girlfriend, through you know, a colleague. 361 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 2: So many ways we don't advertise, so it's through a 362 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,880 Speaker 2: culferral base. There's editorials on us, so I would say 363 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 2: five to ten percent find us through reading an article 364 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 2: or listening to a podcast. But I would say most 365 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 2: people come to us through a referral. And the only 366 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,680 Speaker 2: time that I would say we reached out to them 367 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:18,200 Speaker 2: is if you know, someone feels uncomfortable or doesn't have 368 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 2: the confidence, or doesn't feel like they might need us 369 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 2: because a friend has told them to reach out, So 370 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 2: they'll give us their email or phone number and we'll 371 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:27,199 Speaker 2: reach out to that. 372 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: Now, why do you only represent Oh, first of all, 373 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 1: how many women are in your stable? So you said, 374 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,120 Speaker 1: like twenty men. How many women are in your stable, so. 375 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 2: We've I mean, now after many years, I mean we 376 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 2: have thousands of women. It doesn't mean that everyone necessarily 377 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,679 Speaker 2: goes out. So the women pay no fee. They have 378 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 2: to go through our process, which is extensive to a 379 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,639 Speaker 2: certain you know, a certain extent. I would say, you know, 380 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 2: you have to we have certain prerequisites, and you also 381 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 2: have to have an in person interview. We have to 382 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 2: talk about your criteria and what you're looking for. But 383 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 2: there are no guarantees. 384 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,479 Speaker 1: So you said that many women And what your reason 385 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,439 Speaker 1: was for choosing to represent men and not women like 386 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: you primarily and have them as clients. 387 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 2: Sure, and that reason was purely a supply demand. You know, 388 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,200 Speaker 2: when I started the business with Nikki, my business preader, 389 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 2: we just had a larger network of women than met. 390 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 2: So the idea came from you know, it stemmed from 391 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 2: my single girlfriends being thirty years old now almost forty five, saying, 392 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 2: you know, how do I meet men? Now, this is 393 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,919 Speaker 2: in two thousand and nine, before the apps even existed, 394 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 2: and there was you know, we were all on Blackberries 395 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 2: and you know, Match dot com, e Harmony and shade A. 396 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,120 Speaker 2: We're just scratching the surface. But none of my friends 397 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 2: would have been on them because it was so it 398 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 2: was had such a bad stigma at that Yes, yes, 399 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 2: now it's so much more accepted, which is great, but 400 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 2: it stammed from my We weren't going to like nightclubs, 401 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 2: we weren't really needing people at bars, and like what 402 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 2: guy hadn't one of our friends dated or whatever it was. 403 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 2: And then the competitors that the market. I did market research. 404 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 2: There was nothing out there that was really I felt 405 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,880 Speaker 2: that was really sophisticated and edgy, nothing that my friends 406 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 2: would have or my network would have gravitated towards. So 407 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: I wanted to create something that my people would say, Okay, 408 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: this actually feels more like my taste. And at the time, 409 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 2: to answer your question, you know my network of you know, 410 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 2: I'm twenty nine thirty, I just had a larger network 411 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 2: of women. So I felt like I didn't want to 412 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 2: service both parties because then I was just trying to 413 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 2: fill a quota. If I was charging both sides, then 414 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 2: I had to work for both sides. And if you're 415 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 2: you know, you're just charging one, then you're working for 416 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,679 Speaker 2: him and then you can get a larger number on 417 00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 2: the other side. 418 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 1: Wow, okay, and so what are you finding that women 419 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,120 Speaker 1: are doing wrong the most on these dates? You're get 420 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 1: The thing is you are an interesting person to interview 421 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 1: because you're getting the feedback from the men. So it's 422 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: not a mixed bag here, which yes, but are the 423 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 1: do the women feel like there is comfortable to complain? 424 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,719 Speaker 1: Aren't they excited because they're not paying you? I mean 425 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,399 Speaker 1: the men are more of the picky customers, right, or 426 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,480 Speaker 1: the women are fully like telling you what they think. 427 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 2: They're fully telling us what they think. 428 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: Okay, so let's do both. All right, great, So let's 429 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 1: go with the men first, who are paying customers. What's 430 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: the range of money? Is there a range or it's 431 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 1: one flat fee? 432 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 2: No, there's the range. I can talk about it. We 433 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,879 Speaker 2: chalked about forty to sixty thousand dollars and that's for 434 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 2: a year contract. 435 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: Okay. 436 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 2: We have offered trials in the past because we want 437 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,959 Speaker 2: to give this opportunity to people who might not have 438 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 2: the means for a lower cost. So we have done 439 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 2: that as well. 440 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,199 Speaker 1: I love that we need to do a dating We 441 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: need to do a dating matchmaking charity. 442 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 2: Not for yeah people, you know, people gifted to like oh, 443 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 2: business partner brothers. 444 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: That's smart, it's good gift Christmas lists everybody Honoka lists. Okay, 445 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: So what are men saying they come back from the date? 446 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 1: Give me the top three to five things that they're 447 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 1: coming back and saying that you're hearing often that you 448 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 1: just wish women? Is it they're drinking too much, they 449 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: didn't have manicures, Like, what is it? 450 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,359 Speaker 2: I would say in the most recent experience, it's less 451 00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 2: about the physical stuff. Because I think we've become even 452 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 2: piguer about who we let into the membership. So being 453 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 2: polished is super important for us, especially when on a 454 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,400 Speaker 2: date it's like put your you know, come as your 455 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 2: back self. 456 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,439 Speaker 1: That's exactly what another match maker said to now ladies 457 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 1: who are listening, we're getting like we have like themes 458 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 1: we must listen, said that a man wants a woman 459 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 1: that looks like she made an effort. Does she smell good? 460 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 1: Did she look like she just that's okay, So you're 461 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: saying put your best foot forward, So all right, so sorry, 462 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 1: So what are men complaining about? 463 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 2: I think so sometimes and this goes for both sides, 464 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 2: that the other parties not asking enough questions about them, 465 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,919 Speaker 2: you know, whether it's their past or their goals, or 466 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 2: asking the wrong questions. I think on both sides. Often, 467 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 2: you know, people need to be more thoughtful about what 468 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 2: they're asking their date if they care. I think, you know, 469 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 2: what do you do for work? And like what are 470 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,720 Speaker 2: your hobbies? Like that's kind of just surface layer. I 471 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:36,879 Speaker 2: think it's important people think about the deeper questions to 472 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,919 Speaker 2: see if there's really a connection there that's interesting. 473 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an essence someone's essence versus just the checking 474 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: the boxes. 475 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:50,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think and in our in our business, you know, 476 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 2: we tell each party a lot about the person before 477 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,639 Speaker 2: they actually meet, but they don't and so they know 478 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 2: the sort of foundational stuff. But then that first date 479 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 2: is really need to ask about whatever you want to 480 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 2: talk about, and maybe it's something. We've told them what 481 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 2: their favorite book is and they said, you know, it's interesting. 482 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,919 Speaker 2: I can't believe that's your favorite book. I read it 483 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,840 Speaker 2: and I didn't get that sense or I didn't feed 484 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 2: that way. Why did you like it so much? Whatever 485 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 2: it may be. 486 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: What about money? How important is money to both sides? 487 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 1: How much does money come up in dating in your business? 488 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:46,160 Speaker 2: Not very much. I would say everyone is educated, accomplished, 489 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,639 Speaker 2: successful in their own right, and that doesn't mean they 490 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 2: have to have millions of dollars in the bank, but 491 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 2: they do have to be I would say, doing something 492 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:58,439 Speaker 2: that they care about. And you can, you know, you 493 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 2: can be a successful writer. It doesn't mean you're necessarily 494 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 2: making a lot of money. So I think, you know, 495 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 2: we do believe in chivalryes, so I do believe if 496 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 2: you are on a date, you know, man woman, the 497 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 2: man should pay. I do I do too. It's never 498 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 2: really come up for us, so we don't have that problem. 499 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,679 Speaker 2: I think. You know, I've worked with the doctors and 500 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 2: yes they've gone to medical school and they're in a 501 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 2: ton of debt, but you know, their idea is to 502 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 2: pay them muffle, So it doesn't come up that often. 503 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:31,399 Speaker 2: It really doesn't. I think it's more about just I 504 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 2: think intellectual curiosity. So the questions that they're asking, are 505 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 2: they really interested in each other? I think it's about 506 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 2: not being distracted and really being present. So someone might 507 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,000 Speaker 2: say the women might complain that, you know, the guy 508 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,919 Speaker 2: was don his phone the whole time, and then he 509 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 2: tells me, I'm sorry, I was closing a deal I 510 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 2: should have you know, I didn't want to move the 511 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,879 Speaker 2: date because that was rude, but I had to answer 512 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 2: these questions, so it's like, that's hard. I think women 513 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,880 Speaker 2: complained maybe more about the dress and the physical than 514 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,200 Speaker 2: the men, But men might just feel like a woman 515 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 2: is not engaged, that she's sort of drifting or looking 516 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 2: who's you know, looking over his shoulder to see who 517 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:18,199 Speaker 2: else is coming in. So it's really about the I 518 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,879 Speaker 2: think the presidence of someone, you know, are they engaged 519 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,359 Speaker 2: in the conversation at the time. 520 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,240 Speaker 1: It's funny that you brought up the thing about the deal. 521 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 1: Like years ago, I remember showing up at a door 522 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,440 Speaker 1: and a guy like putting his finger up, like wait 523 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 1: one minute, and then being on a twenty minute phone 524 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 1: call and he went in the other room and he 525 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 1: didn't know that I left. I was ten blocks away, 526 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: and he called and couldn't believe it. He called the 527 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 1: person who set us up and was a gas and 528 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, no, we're not. I mean, that 529 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 1: was so incredibly rude. But I had that happen recently 530 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 1: with a very successful man where he had something going 531 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:51,160 Speaker 1: on at work and he was super stressed out about it, 532 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,880 Speaker 1: and he proceeded to talk about it. He was staying 533 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: in town for the weekend at a hotel nearby, and 534 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,399 Speaker 1: he proceeded to talk about it the entire weekend. And 535 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,439 Speaker 1: I call that inside baseball, Like it'd be like me 536 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 1: talking about a social media post that I got in 537 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: trouble for, or a brand deal or something that is 538 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: so inside baseball that you can't be how narcissistic can 539 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 1: you be to think that the other person's going to 540 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: be like hooked in when they just met you the 541 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 1: whole entire weekend, Like we're like, we're a couple and 542 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,119 Speaker 1: we're both invested in this deal going down. So I 543 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,160 Speaker 1: think that that's an interesting one because people get inside 544 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: their head and think that what they think is interesting 545 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,639 Speaker 1: the other person is invested in. 546 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so right, and that can happen often, and 547 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,919 Speaker 2: that's what's so beneficial of having a person like me 548 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,800 Speaker 2: or my team in the background, so we can give 549 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 2: you that feedback and they're like, oh, I didn't even 550 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 2: realize I was doing that, or whatever it may be. 551 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,040 Speaker 1: How much is someone wrong about their gut instinct about 552 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: what they think is someone I didn't like him, he 553 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: seemed rude, he's seen whatever, and you're and then they 554 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 1: go back in and they were wrong or is usually 555 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: someone's first instinct correct. 556 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 2: I always say, if you have any inkling, like any 557 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 2: feeling at all, to go on a second day, even 558 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 2: if it's like, you know what, he's not going to 559 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 2: be right for me because of this and that. But 560 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 2: he was really cute and he's actually very charming and 561 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 2: we had fun, but no, no, no, then I'm like, no, 562 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 2: you have to give it a second chance. 563 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: Oh okay, unless it was like a hard no, like 564 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 1: a guttural no. You're saying, I got a second chance. 565 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 2: Why I think so? I think because first dates are 566 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 2: hard and you don't know what's happened that day or 567 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 2: what's going on in their life, really, because you're both 568 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 2: sort of sitting there and just meeting each other for 569 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 2: the first time. And I think it's important to give 570 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 2: someone a second chance because it's a date and it 571 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 2: is important to them. But I don't know. Maybe they 572 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 2: didn't get enough sleep the night before and they're not 573 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 2: trying to make that excuse, but they're there and they 574 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 2: showed it up and they want to spend time with you, 575 00:29:49,400 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 2: but they're just not their best self. What to do? 576 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 2: Step answer. 577 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,920 Speaker 1: Most that after 578 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 2: The step answer