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Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't

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Speaker 1: a liability, it's a real gift. If we don't know

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Speaker 1: something about ourselves at this point in our life, it's

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Speaker 1: probably because it's uncomfortable to know. If you can die

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Speaker 1: before you die, then you can really live. There's a

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Speaker 1: wisdom at death's door. I thought I was insane. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know what to do because there was

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Speaker 1: no internet. I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel

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Speaker 1: like everything is hard.

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Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. I'm a human first

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Speaker 2: and a licensed therapist second. And right now I'm inviting

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Speaker 2: you into conversations that I hope encourage you to become

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Speaker 2: more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the

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Speaker 2: world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy.

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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and to welcome to a new Monday episode

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Speaker 1: of that You Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat.

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Speaker 1: I am the host, and quick reminder before we get

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Speaker 1: into the episode today that although this is called You

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy and I am a licensed therapist, this podcast

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Speaker 1: does not serve as a replacement or a substitute for

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Speaker 1: any actual mental health services. But we also always hope

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Speaker 1: that it helps in some way somehow on whatever journey

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Speaker 1: you were on. Now today is going to be a

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Speaker 1: fun episode because we're actually talking about something called the

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Speaker 1: fun Scale. Some of you guys might know what that is.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I've ever talked about it on here.

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Speaker 1: It's actually something that I used to reference a lot,

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Speaker 1: but then I stopped referencing it and the information kind

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Speaker 1: of emptied from my brain and I kind of forgot

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Speaker 1: about it, as things tend to do. But it came

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Speaker 1: up in a session this week and I thought to myself, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I used to reference this a lot and talk about

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Speaker 1: it a lot, and that must have been because it

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Speaker 1: was useful. So maybe this might be something that you

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Speaker 1: guys would want to hear about. And again, maybe some

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Speaker 1: of you guys already know what this is, but for

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Speaker 1: those of you that don't, I'm about to give you

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Speaker 1: a little fun piece of information or pieces of information.

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Speaker 1: And I've been trying to figure out where I learned

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Speaker 1: about this first, because I thought it was from my

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Speaker 1: coworker when I was an an adventure therapist, but now

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Speaker 1: I also don't know if it was taught to me

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Speaker 1: by a guy that I dated a while ago who

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Speaker 1: was very outdoorsy, and I can't remember because this is

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Speaker 1: actually something that is used generally with outdoor activities. It's

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Speaker 1: in that I don't know what to call that, Like,

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Speaker 1: obviously I'm not an outdoorsy girl that whole world out

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Speaker 1: there like outdoorsman adventure community, but the types of fun

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Speaker 1: are often referenced there when they talk about the different

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Speaker 1: things that they do like climbing and hiking and camping

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Speaker 1: and all of those crazy things that go into being

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Speaker 1: the outdoor human. I don't know what is that called.

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Speaker 1: Maybe there's not a name for it AnyWho. I say,

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Speaker 1: we just get into it. So let's start with what

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Speaker 1: is the fund scale? So the fun scale is a

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Speaker 1: scale of fun that goes from one to two to

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Speaker 1: three that identifies and helps classify different types of fun

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Speaker 1: or different types of activities. It's really simple. There are

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Speaker 1: three types, and you'll see the pattern as I talk

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Speaker 1: about each one, and you'll see that. You know, fun

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Speaker 1: isn't always just in quotes fun, Stress and challenge can

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Speaker 1: oftentimes be a part of that, and I think that

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Speaker 1: is something that is very valuable to talk about because

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Speaker 1: a lot of times when we think about fun, we

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Speaker 1: literally just think about one type of fun and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about three. One of the reasons, like I said,

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Speaker 1: I find this so helpful with talking with clients that

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Speaker 1: I work with and just in my own life, is

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Speaker 1: it widens our view of fun, It widens our view

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Speaker 1: of enjoyment, and it widens our view of pleasure. And

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Speaker 1: I think that I did a couch Talks episode a

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Speaker 1: while ago talking about pleasure and taking pleasure seriously, and

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Speaker 1: it was inspired by a post from the Angry Therapist.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys follow him on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: but he put that up a while ago, and then

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Speaker 1: I talked about it on here, but he actually just

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Speaker 1: recently reposted it, which is kind of timely and interesting.

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Speaker 1: But I want to just read a little part of

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Speaker 1: that post, just to refresh us from what he said

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Speaker 1: back then, and he wrote, pleasure doesn't just fall into

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Speaker 1: our laps. We must seek it, create it, and lean

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Speaker 1: backwards into it with our eyes closed and our arms

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Speaker 1: folded like it's a trust test, because it is, and

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Speaker 1: if you fail, your relationship with your life will be

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Speaker 1: on thin ice, your world will be small, your shoulders hunched,

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Speaker 1: knuckles white. There is more to life than building your empire.

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Speaker 1: There is more to life than fighting love. There's more

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Speaker 1: to life than raising children. There's more to life life

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Speaker 1: then finding a purpose. A complete life also means to

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Speaker 1: experience pleasure. And I read this that was the end

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Speaker 1: of it. But I read this to remind us all

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Speaker 1: that experiencing fun and pleasure are essential to having a

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Speaker 1: full life. And part of this podcast is created to

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Speaker 1: help people access the tools and the ideas and the

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Speaker 1: things that they need to live the fullest life they

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Speaker 1: can because we all know we just get one of them,

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Speaker 1: and we all deserve to have the most full life

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Speaker 1: that we can have. And the interesting thing about fun

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Speaker 1: and pleasure is there's so much guilt that comes with

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Speaker 1: purposely doing things for the fun of it. You know,

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Speaker 1: you get the I should be doing this, or I

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Speaker 1: could be doing that, and all those ideas come into play,

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Speaker 1: and it just feels like is it even worth it

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Speaker 1: if I have to then feel like I should be

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Speaker 1: doing something differently, or I don't deserve this, or I

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Speaker 1: didn't work hard enough for this. In this episode is

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Speaker 1: a just I just wanted to be a wonderful, good,

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Speaker 1: healthy reminder that one of the most common regrets of

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Speaker 1: the dying we learned this. I've learned this through the podcast,

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Speaker 1: and I've through conversations on the podcast and continuing to

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Speaker 1: share this information with you all over and over because

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Speaker 1: I think it's so valuable. But when when looking at

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Speaker 1: the most common regrets of the dying, two of the

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Speaker 1: most popular ones were and have been I wish I

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Speaker 1: didn't work so much, and I wish I would have

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Speaker 1: let myself be more happy. We think of things like

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Speaker 1: pleasure and fun as privileges, which they are to an extent.

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Speaker 1: This isn't a black and white conversation, but pleasure and

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Speaker 1: fun also don't have to involve what you initially think about,

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Speaker 1: these lavish vacations, expensive dinners, concerts that cost a bajillion dollars.

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Speaker 1: That's not just fun and that's not just pleasure, and

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Speaker 1: it kind of like bleeds into that self care conversation

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Speaker 1: of like self care only involves these lavish things like

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Speaker 1: massages and facials and trips and this, and that's not true.

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Speaker 1: I want to widenari idea of what fun is, what

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Speaker 1: pleasure is, and what we can get out of both

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Speaker 1: of those things, because the truth is, we really get

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Speaker 1: to be fun into our stories. This is not always

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Speaker 1: a privilege, it's a right as a human. Now again,

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Speaker 1: the other part of this conversation is how fun can

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Speaker 1: look different and it's not that simple. Which fun sounds

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Speaker 1: really simple, right, Sometimes fun isn't really fun at all.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure you've said before, I don't understand how

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Speaker 1: that could be fun for someone or man, we have

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Speaker 1: different ideas of fun. If that's fun for you, I've

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Speaker 1: said that before, I've thought that, I've heard that when

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Speaker 1: talking to someone. And there are a couple of reasons

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Speaker 1: for that. One, because we're why you're different. Just like

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Speaker 1: we like different foods, we might like different activities. The

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Speaker 1: other is you may be thinking about one type of

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Speaker 1: fun when somebody else is thinking about another type of fun,

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Speaker 1: and they're different and they all get to be fun.

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Speaker 1: So let's dive into the three types. So type one

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Speaker 1: Type one fun is more enjoyable fun when it's happening

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Speaker 1: like it's simply just fun. Type one fun applies to

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Speaker 1: activities that you just generally enjoy when you're experiencing them

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Speaker 1: in the moment. This could be eating at your favorite restaurant,

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Speaker 1: having Margerita's on a patio with your friends, game night

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Speaker 1: with your friends, or family laying out by a pool.

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Speaker 1: Think of anything that sounds fun just in the moment,

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Speaker 1: like you want to be in that moment. These are

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Speaker 1: oftentimes leisure activities or activities that don't take too much

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Speaker 1: physical strain or mental toughness. They have a lot to

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Speaker 1: do with preferences too. So going back to what I

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Speaker 1: said right before, we got into the types, you might

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Speaker 1: love watching a movie on a Friday night, while somebody

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Speaker 1: else might be like, that's so boring. I want to

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Speaker 1: go take a painting class, or I want to go

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Speaker 1: to this trivia night at this restaurant. Also, think about

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Speaker 1: like vacations. Your favorite vacation might be an inclusive resort

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Speaker 1: in Mexico, and your friends might be skiing in Colorado.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, there's no way that I want

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Speaker 1: to go skiing in Colorado. If I'm going on a vacation,

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Speaker 1: I will go to Colorado. But that's not my idea

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Speaker 1: of fun. But take me to an inclusive resort in Mexico,

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Speaker 1: leave me there for a month. So different strokes for

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Speaker 1: different folks, you know. So that's type one. It's just

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Speaker 1: very simple. There's not like a ton to be said.

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Speaker 1: It just is fun for the sake of the activity. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's move on to type two. Type two fun is

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Speaker 1: when a task is difficult at the time but feels

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Speaker 1: rewarding afterwards. Often this is because it challenges you to

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Speaker 1: test your limits and it produces growth in you that

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Speaker 1: you appreciate. And I'm not sure how much I would

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Speaker 1: grow by drinking and margerita by the pool. You know.

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Speaker 1: That's why that's type one fun. It's fun for the

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Speaker 1: sake of being fun. Type too fun includes things that

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Speaker 1: are more challenging and may not be as pleasant at

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Speaker 1: the time. They become pleasant and they become gratifying when

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Speaker 1: you are reminiscing on them and thinking back on them

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Speaker 1: and looking at what you gain from them. This would

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Speaker 1: include things like a workout class. Maybe it didn't feel

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Speaker 1: pleasurable when you were going when you were at that class,

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Speaker 1: but when it was over, it was really fun to

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Speaker 1: see progress you made, or to see the commitment you

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Speaker 1: made to yourself. I mean, think about if you start

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Speaker 1: going to a workout class and you can't do one

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Speaker 1: pull up, and then a couple months later you end

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Speaker 1: up doing three in a row without a break. That

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Speaker 1: is type two fun. It's this you get this gratifying

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Speaker 1: feeling of Wow, I'm so proud of myself. I'm glad

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Speaker 1: I did that. And that can be applied to a

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Speaker 1: range of physical measures. That doesn't just have to be

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Speaker 1: with pull ups, you know. It could also be like

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Speaker 1: an art project that's extensive and tedious. And I know,

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Speaker 1: for me, I like creative things like I like doing

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Speaker 1: I remember when I was planning my friend's bacherette party

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Speaker 1: back it was in October. It was actually so fun.

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Speaker 1: I was very proud of myself because I'm not a planner.

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Speaker 1: I don't enjoy planning things. I don't enjoy being in

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Speaker 1: charge of an extravagant situation like that, but I like

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Speaker 1: being in the experience. So it was fun for me

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Speaker 1: to create that experience. And I did all of these

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Speaker 1: like artsy projects. The theme was my friend's name is

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Speaker 1: Kiro So the theme was Camp Kira. We did it

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Speaker 1: in Ashville. We got this cabin and I made all

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Speaker 1: of these I made this huge backdrop with all these

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Speaker 1: different like felt cutouts, and I did this big like

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Speaker 1: pendant sign to hang from the house that said welcome

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Speaker 1: to Camp Kira. And I didn't enjoy the experience of

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Speaker 1: making that. For the sake of making it, because I

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Speaker 1: just don't like those tedious kinds of tasks. But it

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Speaker 1: was fun for me to look back and see what

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Speaker 1: I did and see the dedication and see how, you know,

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Speaker 1: somebody being important to me can encourage me to do

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Speaker 1: something that I don't love doing all the time. And

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Speaker 1: then I actually loved doing it because I was doing

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Speaker 1: it for that person. And then it was also really

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Speaker 1: fun to look at what it gave us, Like putting

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Speaker 1: it all together, like this individual pendant that I made

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Speaker 1: wasn't the fun, but it was putting all this stuff

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Speaker 1: together and seeing the final product. So that's a long

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Speaker 1: way of saying it could be like an art project

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Speaker 1: that is really extensive and tedious, and maybe you filling

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Speaker 1: in all the little dots and the da da da

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Speaker 1: da isn't the fun part. But when you look back

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Speaker 1: what you did in the dedication you had that was fun.

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Speaker 1: It can be a problem solving situation too, And it

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Speaker 1: makes me think of escape games. For some people, that's

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Speaker 1: type one fun. For me, that's type two fun. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be in this escape game. I want

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Speaker 1: it to be figured out. We actually got one of those.

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Speaker 1: It's not like a murder Mystery party. It was like

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Speaker 1: a detective game. We got Patrick and I got one

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Speaker 1: from his sister for Christmas, and we had our friends

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Speaker 1: over and did it and it was so tedious. There

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Speaker 1: are so many details, and there are some people that

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Speaker 1: came over that were like in it to win it,

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Speaker 1: and they loved it and did all this stuff. And

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Speaker 1: I was the person who was on my phone looking

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Speaker 1: up the answers. And then it was fun once I

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Speaker 1: found the answer and once we got to the end

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Speaker 1: of it. But I'm not somebody that likes to be

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Speaker 1: in the nitty gritty. Some people like that, so for me,

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Speaker 1: an escape game type two fun. Type two fun is

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Speaker 1: something that is sometimes miserable. When I ran my first

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Speaker 1: full marathon, Oh my gosh, when I ran my first

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Speaker 1: full marathon, I immediately said to my friend that was there,

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Speaker 1: do not ever ever let me do that again. I

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Speaker 1: had trained meticulously, I had this perfect, beautiful training board.

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Speaker 1: I did all these runs, I did my rest days,

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Speaker 1: I trained. I was so ready. However, the day that

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Speaker 1: the race came, it just so happened that it was

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Speaker 1: pouring rain the whole time, and my headphone stopped working

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Speaker 1: because of the rain. Honestly, this memory is a little fuzzy.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if they stopped working or I got

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Speaker 1: scared that I was gonna get electrocuted for using headphones

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Speaker 1: while I was raining, which I don't know if that's

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Speaker 1: something I should be afraid of, but I might have been.

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Speaker 1: So I chucked my headphones and my phone to my

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Speaker 1: sister when I saw her, like in the first three miles,

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Speaker 1: and so I ran for four hours without any music,

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Speaker 1: without any sound except the voice in my head. I

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Speaker 1: ran for four hours like that, and near the end

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Speaker 1: of the race, I could already feel my muscles getting tight.

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Speaker 1: I was like sore before the race ended, and it

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Speaker 1: felt like I was almost like running backwards or in

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Speaker 1: slow motion at the end. And when I finished, it

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Speaker 1: was in my head I remember saying, do not ever

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Speaker 1: let me do that again. But then a couple days

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Speaker 1: go by and you are sitting less with the physical pain,

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Speaker 1: and the challenge feels farther away, and the feelings of

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Speaker 1: accomplishment and excitement start to pump back in. So I

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Speaker 1: look back at that and I think that was fun.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I did another one, and it was

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Speaker 1: that same idea. I didn't rain it was a much

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Speaker 1: more pleasurable experience, also somewhere where the road was much

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Speaker 1: more flat. However, right after it was done, I did

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Speaker 1: not want to run another one. I wanted it to

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Speaker 1: be over, rather than you know, when you're on the

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Speaker 1: beach with your friends, you want that to keep going

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Speaker 1: on that type one fun. This I wanted to be over.

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Speaker 1: But then I also, after I had those feelings of

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Speaker 1: accomplishment and challenge and seeing where my limits were and

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Speaker 1: learning more about myself, it encouraged me to want to

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Speaker 1: do something like that again. Another example of type two

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Speaker 1: fun would be like hiking up a mountain that is

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Speaker 1: not easy, but then you get to see this beautiful

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Speaker 1: view and the hike is strenuous and maybe not the

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Speaker 1: most pleasurable experience, but the experience becomes pleasurable due to

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Speaker 1: the hard work, and you learn about the power of

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Speaker 1: working and experiencing something good, and how effort becomes worth

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Speaker 1: the effort because of that reward. And I say this,

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Speaker 1: and I harp on this, especially I harp on type

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Speaker 1: two fun because so often people say like, oh, sorry,

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Speaker 1: that's like not worth it. I'd never run a marathon,

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Speaker 1: I'd never go to hike. That's Okay, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to do either of those things, but I don't want

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Speaker 1: people to miss out on the goodness that type two

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Speaker 1: fun brings just because the initial part doesn't sound exciting.

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Speaker 1: There is power in working for a reward, and sometimes

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Speaker 1: the rewards you get from type two fun isn't even

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Speaker 1: what you think you're gonna get. There are so many

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Speaker 1: benefits to this type of fun and having this type

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Speaker 1: of fun and making sure you have this type of

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Speaker 1: fun in your life. And some of those benefits would

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Speaker 1: be increase self esteem, like to see what you gonna

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Speaker 1: comme pomplish and to learn what your limits are versus

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Speaker 1: what you assume them to be is huge. The memories

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Speaker 1: you get. I have so many good, fond memories, not

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Speaker 1: just of things like running a marathon, but memories of

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Speaker 1: doing these hard things that have bonded me with people,

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Speaker 1: bonded me myself, bonded me with God. The memories are

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Speaker 1: things that I cherish a lot of times more than

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Speaker 1: being in that moment. Like I was saying with the

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Speaker 1: Type one like, you just want to be in that moment.

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Speaker 1: But a lot of those type one fun experiences, some

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Speaker 1: of them have great memories, but some of them, it's

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Speaker 1: just me, like again, land on the at the pool

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Speaker 1: by myself. That's fun, but I don't hold on to

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Speaker 1: that memory as something sacred. Usually other benefits to this

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Speaker 1: type of fun. I kind of harped on this, but

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Speaker 1: just the self discovery and this one is just so

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It means a lot to me because

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Speaker 1: you never know if you can do something until you

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Speaker 1: do it. You cannot know if you can do something

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Speaker 1: until you do it. And the lessons that these experience,

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Speaker 1: these experiences so give you, they're just I mean, what's

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Speaker 1: the word for, I mean infinite. There's so many and

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Speaker 1: you never really know what you're gonna get. You can

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Speaker 1: get to know yourself so much better in these situations,

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Speaker 1: and you learn what I actually can do versus what

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do or what I think I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do. What's You can learn what's important

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Speaker 1: to me, You learn about what's meaningful to you, and

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Speaker 1: you experience feelings that you might have never felt before

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Speaker 1: if you give yourself the shot to feel those. The

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Speaker 1: other thing that is so huge for type two fun

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Speaker 1: is the resiliency that it brings. And in this type

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Speaker 1: of fun, you have to walk out of your comfort

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Speaker 1: zone and you get into this stretch zone. You're not

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Speaker 1: in a panic zone here. You walk from your comfort

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Speaker 1: to the stretch zone and you really get to learn

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Speaker 1: more about what you are capable of. And I know

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Speaker 1: for me the live shows that I did with Amy

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Speaker 1: this past year, we did two of them, one and

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Speaker 1: I think was November and then one in March, that

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Speaker 1: have been type one fun for Amy. That's what she does.

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Speaker 1: She talks in front of people. She is a host

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Speaker 1: of personality. That's what I think that she might thrive on.

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Speaker 1: That I need to ask her because I'm assuming this,

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Speaker 1: But that was not type one front for me. That

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Speaker 1: was very much me walking straight out of my comfort zone.

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Speaker 1: And looking back on those experiences to me is more

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Speaker 1: satisfying than being in them. I'd rather see the accomplishment

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Speaker 1: than like, do it again, although I'm sure we're going

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Speaker 1: to be doing them again. But I learned so much

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Speaker 1: about my capabilities, my strengths, my feelings throughout that experience,

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Speaker 1: and I know what I can handle. And one thing

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Speaker 1: about resiliency that seems to be unknown to a lot

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Speaker 1: of people or just not thought about, is that the

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Speaker 1: only way to build resiliency is to go through something

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Speaker 1: where you have to be resilient. That's the only way

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Speaker 1: to be resilient. To build resiliency, which we all need,

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Speaker 1: it is a very helpful thing to have in your life.

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Speaker 1: You have to go through challenge. And so when we

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Speaker 1: think about having the most full life, that is going

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Speaker 1: to have to include challenges in things that we don't

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Speaker 1: expect and things that we always don't want to do

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Speaker 1: because we have to be to actually build that threat

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Speaker 1: defense system. For our nervous system to be really strong,

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Speaker 1: it has to feel threat so then it learns how

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Speaker 1: to work right. Has to be activated. So if we

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Speaker 1: want our nervous system to be resilient, it has to

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Speaker 1: be activated. It has to learn, it has to have experiences.

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Speaker 1: And so Type two gives us a lot of opportunity

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Speaker 1: to build that resilience without it pushing us too far

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Speaker 1: into that panic zone that would be like hey, firefire,

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Speaker 1: Like we got to get out of here.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: You might think that sometimes, but Type two fund doesn't,

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Speaker 1: in my opinion, include a life or death situation. And

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Speaker 1: then the last thing that I mean, there's way more.

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Speaker 1: But the last thing I'm going to say that type

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Speaker 1: two fund really brings us is gratitude, which again is

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Speaker 1: one of those things that it seems like it's said

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Speaker 1: all the time, but such an important thing to hold

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00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: onto and to cultivate in our lives. And not only

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00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: do you build gratitude for your body and your mind

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Speaker 1: and your spirit for keeping you and pushing you and

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Speaker 1: sharing you through the toughness of the experience, you get

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Speaker 1: to build gratitude for the ease of life as well.

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Speaker 1: And knowing how hard something can be allows us to

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Speaker 1: be more present in the even moments of life, the

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Speaker 1: mundane moments of life that actually can be a lot

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Speaker 1: of the goodness of our lives. The only way to

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Speaker 1: truly have gratitude for our mountaintop moments is by knowing

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Speaker 1: that the valleys exist and by experiencing the valley and

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00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,360
Speaker 1: of running a marathon wasn't hard for me, I don't

400
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 1: know that I would appreciate accomplishment so much, and I

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00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 1: also wouldn't appreciate my nice, short, leisurely runs as much

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00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 1: these days either. So to wrap that whole section up,

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00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: Type two fun is really a type of fun that

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00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,399
Speaker 1: is so fun because of the growth that it creates

405
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 1: for us and the opportunity for growth that it creates

406
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 1: for us, and discomfort is a key ingredient for growth,

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00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 1: and that is why that's a big part of this

408
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,480
Speaker 1: type of fun. But discomfort can still be fun. Let's

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Speaker 1: move on to type three fun, the last type of fun,

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Speaker 1: and I gotta say this is my least favorite type

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Speaker 1: of fun. It's the fun that I do would never

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00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: look forward to, and I don't really want to always

413
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 1: have in my life, but I need it. It's actually

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00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 1: not fun at all, which is kind of confusing in

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00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 1: this whole conversation, but it's something that is not fun

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00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 1: in the moment and you never want to do it again.

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00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 1: The pleasurable part of this type of fun is getting

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00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 1: to tell the story of it, which might sound weird,

419
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 1: but we've actually all been here and we all have

420
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 1: these types of fun. It's when we have those dreadful

421
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 1: experiences that turn into the classic like dinner table story

422
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: that leaves you and your friends like dying, laughing hysterically

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00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 1: or like zoned in waiting in all of like the

424
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 1: next thing that we will have happen. But you don't

425
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,239
Speaker 1: want this experience to happen again. And it can be

426
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 1: something physical like you hiked, I don't know the Appalachian Trail,

427
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 1: and you got caught in some kind of natural disaster,

428
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 1: and maybe you did have this life or death situation.

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00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,919
Speaker 1: Maybe you encountered a deadly animal, or it can be

430
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,199
Speaker 1: something like the time you fell off the treadmill at

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Speaker 1: the gym in front of a bunch of people, which

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Speaker 1: I know those are like viral videos that are going

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Speaker 1: around on Instagram and TikTok and stuff like that. But

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00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,119
Speaker 1: I say that because I have a friend who's notorious

435
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 1: for falling, and I think that she would probably choose

436
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: to never fall in public again. But she has one

437
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: story where she fell off of a treadmill at a

438
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: workout class repeatedly. It's like she fell and then she

439
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 1: tried to get up and like just walk it off,

440
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: but then she fell again, and it was just a

441
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: whole thing. And I know that she doesn't want that

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00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 1: to happen again. That would be kind of crazy for

443
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 1: her to desire that, But it also has brought us

444
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: some of the best moments of laughter, and we reminisce

445
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 1: on that story over and over again. And honestly, I

446
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: wasn't even there. I just heard about it. The trainer

447
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 1: actually came up to me the next day and was like, hey,

448
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 1: is your friend okay? And I was like, what are

449
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,880
Speaker 1: you talking about? He was like, oh, you didn't hear.

450
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: So it's just become this like famous story in our

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00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,360
Speaker 1: friend group. And so again that's an example of yeah,

452
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: not something you really look forward to, but it's those

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00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 1: things that you're glad that they happened. It can also

454
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 1: be a grueling experience physic well, and I will say

455
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 1: those things that you're glad that they happened. Not all

456
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: the time you're like, yes, I'm glad that I foll

457
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 1: off the treadmill. But there's something to there's some pleasure

458
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 1: to be gained in being able to tell a story

459
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: like that. And again it can be a grueling experience

460
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 1: physically or mentally. Maybe a story about the time you

461
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: broke a bone playing a sport, like you don't want

462
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 1: to break a bone, but maybe there's this crazy story

463
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 1: that you get to tell the story or get this

464
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 1: glory from this experience. Or it's something like I don't know,

465
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 1: you dropped your phone in the ocean while you're on

466
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 1: an out of country vacation and then you're stranded without

467
00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: a phone and you have to do all this stuff

468
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 1: to figure out how to contact and get a new one.

469
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: And it's a great story, but we hope that never

470
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: happens to us again. So those are the three types

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00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: of fun. That is the fun scale, and I believe

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00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 1: that to live fully we need a nice mixture of these.

473
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 1: Maybe not a balanced mixture, but a mixture. Maybe you

474
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 1: have more Type one, a little Type two, and a

475
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:23,679
Speaker 1: pinch of Type three in your life. That's okay, it

476
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: doesn't have I don't think it should be. Probably. I

477
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,119
Speaker 1: don't think we need as many Type threes as type ones.

478
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: But I think a combination of these helps us create

479
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: the best versions of ourselves, along with giving us a

480
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 1: chance to live the most full lives. And obviously I

481
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,640
Speaker 1: enjoy at a baseline and look forward to Type one

482
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: fun than most, but it's really Type two fun that

483
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 1: I have the fondest memories of and I tend to

484
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 1: appreciate more often than not. I think Type one fun

485
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: also allows me to have the energy and the mental

486
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,879
Speaker 1: capacity and the mental strength at times. It's kind of

487
00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: that regenerating fun that allows me to engage and more

488
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 1: more of the Type two activities. Again, it's not about

489
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 1: doing one of these more than the other it's about

490
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: engaging in all of them in order to allow ourselves

491
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: to have the best experiences we can have in our lives.

492
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: So when you think in your head, ugh, that sounds horrible,

493
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it, or I can't understand how anyone

494
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 1: would call that fun, I want you to take a

495
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 1: second and wonder about what makes something fun. Sometimes it's

496
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: the present moment of the experience, but sometimes it's what

497
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 1: you get out of the experience that makes it so desirable.

498
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: And we need to take that into consideration when we

499
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: are saying yes and when we are saying no to

500
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: opportunities in our lives. So I hope that you enjoyed

501
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 1: this fun episode of You Need Therapy Podcast. You can

502
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: follow me at Kat dot defada on Instagram and at

503
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: you Therapy Podcast, where you'll get all of the podcast info.

504
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 1: We actually will be much more active on there because

505
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: I have recruited some help in the social media realm,

506
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 1: so I hope you guys look forward to that and

507
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: enjoy the new things that are coming. You can email

508
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 1: me Catherine at You Need Therapy Podcast if you have

509
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: any feedback or comments, or if you have questions that

510
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 1: you want me to answer on Wednesday's episode, which are

511
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,679
Speaker 1: called couch Talks, which are episodes that I answer questions

512
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 1: that you guys sent in to me, which you've sent

513
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 1: in through that email so you can send those whenever.

514
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,199
Speaker 1: I love getting them. And until Wednesday, I hope you

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00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,719
Speaker 1: guys have the fun day you need to have