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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,

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Speaker 1: you know, just stick around for a two minute break

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Speaker 1: with a word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: My neighbor is a stalker and she's obsessed with me.

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Speaker 2: Why are you so obsessed with me? Well, Dakota, it's

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Speaker 2: I'm Not Afraid of a Scary Story Week on Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime podcast, where we're uncovering the most bone chilling encounters

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Speaker 2: with weird neighbors and obsessive stalkers, tales that will have

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Speaker 2: you wondering if that friendly face next door is hiding something.

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Speaker 2: If you're new here and looking for the story, I

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Speaker 2: live below a cult leader and I fear I've angered her,

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Speaker 2: just click the link in the show notes description or

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Speaker 2: search I'm Not Afraid of a Scary Story Week on

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Speaker 2: Okay Storytime wherever you get your podcasts. Let's dive into

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Speaker 2: this one though. Just thought i'd share a weird encounter

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Speaker 2: I had this weekend. My twenty two male grandpa's neighbor

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Speaker 2: is probably in her late thirties. I'm staying with him

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Speaker 2: for a while because of a roommate situation. His property

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Speaker 2: is a few acres and the neighbor's life is similar.

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Speaker 2: They are separated by trees. My grandpa has a dog,

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Speaker 2: an old German shepherd. He's gotten sensitive to noises lately.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Assignment Cold eighty one

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Speaker 2: oh six. And if you want to smit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay, storytime, separate it.

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Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Carly ANOPI says, here's the problem. My neighbor is a

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Speaker 2: Halloween fanatic. My grandpa says, she gets her Halloween to

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Speaker 2: core up in late August. Oh no, that's totally fair.

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Speaker 2: But the issue isn't the decore. It's that she's got

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Speaker 2: this odd soundscape. The soundscape includes firework gunshot type cluster

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Speaker 2: of bangs that happens every so often. Given the distance

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Speaker 2: between the homes, we shouldn't be able to hear any

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Speaker 2: of it. Anyway, she runs it from around five pm

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Speaker 2: till ten pm. They don't get trick or treating or

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Speaker 2: anything in this area. Houses are too far apart and

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Speaker 2: have long private drives, so all of this is for herself.

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Speaker 2: My Grandpa is too nice and conflict avoidant to do

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Speaker 2: anything about it, but I feel so bad for the dog.

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Speaker 2: After a day of the sounds triggering the dog, I

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Speaker 2: went over and I introduced myself. It was my first

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Speaker 2: time meeting her, so I didn't want to immediately launch

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Speaker 2: into my complaint. I went along with some conversation to

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Speaker 2: build rapport. She was extremely chatty at first and asked

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Speaker 2: a lot of questions about me. Try to guess my ethnicity.

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Speaker 2: I have a racially ambiguous face, and she wanted to

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Speaker 2: prove she could read my features or whatever. Stop that.

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Speaker 3: That's the concerning on multiple levels.

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Speaker 2: From there, she started telling me which celebrities I reminded

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Speaker 2: her of I haven't heard of any of them. She's

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Speaker 2: also not old. She's like a thirty year old woman.

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Speaker 2: I mean, obviously anyone can be, but this is like

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Speaker 2: I feel like older white woman behavior where they're like,

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Speaker 2: where are you from? What's your ethnicity? But she's like

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Speaker 2: a thirty year old woman. Stop it. And then she

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Speaker 2: started talking about horror movies. I couldn't get a word in.

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Speaker 2: I had to interrupt her. I explained about our dog,

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Speaker 2: started with, maybe you can consider using a different setundscape

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Speaker 2: or turning it down. As soon as I brought this

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Speaker 2: topic up, she got all cold. Her whole demeanor towards

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Speaker 2: me changed, but she did agree she would turn it down.

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Speaker 2: She didn't, so I turned up to her door for

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Speaker 2: the second time yesterday. This is when it got weird.

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Speaker 2: She answered the door in full costume and was putting

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Speaker 2: on a character that she didn't feel necessary to drop

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Speaker 2: while talking to me. When was this, I want to

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Speaker 2: know what month we're in. I tried to let her

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Speaker 2: know I'm going to be making a noise complaint if

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Speaker 2: she doesn't adjust her soundscape. I asked her how come

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Speaker 2: she didn't turn it down. She ignored this by telling

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Speaker 2: me I look like I have a delicious liver.

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Speaker 3: I want to eat your organs. And it's just like no.

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Speaker 2: But can you turn it down please?

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Speaker 3: I'm going to devour act.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, shut up. It's hard to express how frustrating

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Speaker 2: it was. I said nothing. I just stared at her, irritated,

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Speaker 2: hoping she'd drop the act. Instead of getting serious, she

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Speaker 2: kept the weird voice going and told.

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Speaker 5: Me, lowah, your eyebrow, Why are you so grumpy?

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Speaker 2: And she's also doing the.

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Speaker 3: She's doing any our motions.

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Speaker 2: She also tried to reach out slowly to touch my

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Speaker 2: face when she wants she or something. And for anyone

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Speaker 2: who's wondering what we're talking about, we read another story

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Speaker 2: about a cult leader maybe who was doing the same thing.

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Speaker 2: I just turned around and left. This woman was still

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Speaker 2: in her effing character. She said something after me, but

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Speaker 2: I wasn't able to make it out enough to quote

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Speaker 2: it here. I got home and made a noise complaint.

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Speaker 2: Cops took my statement, then they went over and talked

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Speaker 2: with her. No more soundscape, peace and quiet. Today she

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Speaker 2: left a passed away bird on the doorstep. What do

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Speaker 2: you guys think? Call the police.

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Speaker 3: Her costume that day was the cheshire Cat.

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Speaker 2: That's scary. She's leaving passed away animals on your doorstep.

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Speaker 3: It's just all part of the costume.

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Speaker 2: She's coming, just style, part of the costume. There is

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Speaker 2: an update, But yeah, the police.

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Speaker 3: And when she was getting all we with me at

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Speaker 3: her doorstep. You can't toss water on people.

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Speaker 2: That's assault.

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Speaker 3: I would have just blown.

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Speaker 5: I was just gonna, yeah, oh imagine you're like, if

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Speaker 5: you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna call the cops.

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Speaker 3: Call the police in three days.

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Speaker 2: In three days, you.

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Speaker 3: Have three days to stup it with your weird soundscapes.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's what she needs. Update. She doesn't play the

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Speaker 2: soundscapes anymore, but she has stuck some weird ingredients to

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Speaker 2: the door handle of my vehicle. I touched the stuff

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Speaker 2: and it got over my hand. I had a feeling

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Speaker 2: it was something witchy, so I asked on Reddit and

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Speaker 2: learned it is love spell ingredients, assuming that was for me,

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Speaker 2: but not completely discounting my grandpa. Lol. A few days

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Speaker 2: after she left me the bird, she turned the soundscape

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Speaker 2: on just as I was going past her house during

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Speaker 2: my run from the way. She timed it and turned

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Speaker 2: it off when I had reached my grandpa's house. It

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Speaker 2: was deliberate. I found it amusing because it was kind

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Speaker 2: of clever. She wrote a note to me and my

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Speaker 2: grandpa's native language, which is Korean. It's basically a copy

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Speaker 2: of the phrase if you gaze long into an abyss,

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Speaker 2: the abyss gazes also into you. I think she's in

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Speaker 2: love with you. And when I say in love, I

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Speaker 2: think she's obsessed with you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she wants your organs. Oh, she wants your organs.

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Speaker 2: The dog is safe and nothing has happened to him.

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Speaker 2: I have also mentioned this, but there is a police

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Speaker 2: report and case number assigned to this incident, and I

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Speaker 2: taught my grandpa what number to call so he can

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Speaker 2: continue reporting other events if they happen. To add to

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Speaker 2: the paper trail. He has worked security cameras on his

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Speaker 2: front and back porch that are fairly decent. This is

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Speaker 2: not my permanent residence, but I'm sure he'll be fine,

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Speaker 2: and there is a second update. There is really no

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Speaker 2: other way. You just have to get professionals involved and

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Speaker 2: not deal with her. You know, don't talk to her

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Speaker 2: if you can help it.

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Speaker 3: You definitely need to get cameras on your own property. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so if you can passing, you can. Again, she needs

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Speaker 3: to be prosecuted.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, update too. A few people reached out to see

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Speaker 2: if anything happened on Halloween. I was going to wait

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Speaker 2: on an update until there was a conclusion, but I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure when that might be. To avoid spamming, I

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Speaker 2: won't be making any other updates until this matter is resolved.

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Speaker 2: To answer the question I got the most, I wasn't

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Speaker 2: at my grandpa's place on Halloween or the following day,

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Speaker 2: but he told me he saw the neighbor in the

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Speaker 2: woods by his property line. She was wearing a costume

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Speaker 2: looking something like the girl from The Ring. He said

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Speaker 2: he noticed her standing there facing the house in the

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Speaker 2: middle of the day on Halloween, but other than that,

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Speaker 2: nothing happened. This girl's so weird. Weird Is this thirty

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Speaker 2: years old? Why are you being such a weirdo? Stop it.

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Speaker 2: I was here on Saturday, and that's when she threw

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Speaker 2: a party. It was raining, but you could hear the

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Speaker 2: bass from her music and there were cars in her driveway.

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Speaker 2: Around ten PM, the doorbell rang, and when I answered,

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Speaker 2: it was her, looking just like my grandpa had described

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Speaker 2: same costume. I couldn't see her face that well through

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Speaker 2: all the hair, but I recognized her voice. She seemed

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Speaker 2: panicked and she was speaking so fast I couldn't make

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Speaker 2: out everything she was saying. But the gist of it

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Speaker 2: was that she needed help and wanted me to call

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Speaker 2: an ambulance. Before I could process what was happening or

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Speaker 2: even say anything, she hugged me. It wasn't really a

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Speaker 2: normal hug, but I don't know how else to describe it. Currently,

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Speaker 2: I have an arm sling for an injury, so when

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Speaker 2: she slammed into me, the arm got sandwiched between us,

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Speaker 2: and the sudden pain made me tense up and freeze.

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Speaker 2: I genuinely thought she was in distress and believed her

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Speaker 2: because it seemed different than the time. She was acting

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Speaker 2: like some character. I think. I said something like, it's okay,

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Speaker 2: I'll help you in an attempt to reassure her, and

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Speaker 2: with my free hand, I tried to push her head away.

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Speaker 2: She was clinging to me so hard. I didn't know

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Speaker 2: what to do. She was making these weird hiccupping sounds

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Speaker 2: and was covered in something that smelled like diesel. The

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Speaker 2: party was still going on, so I just assumed it

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Speaker 2: had something to do with that. Maybe she was intoxicated

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Speaker 2: or something. I told her I needed to get my

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Speaker 2: phone so I could make the call. I asked her

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Speaker 2: some questions, but she didn't answer. She eventually calmed down

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Speaker 2: and let me go. She stood by the door all quiet.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to get my phone first, anyway, but by

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Speaker 2: the time I returned, she was gone. I checked the

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Speaker 2: camera and it showed she walked off the porch. The

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Speaker 2: police took fifty minutes to arrive that night.

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Speaker 3: It's Halloween.

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Speaker 2: That's trick.

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Speaker 3: It's Halloween, that's true.

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Speaker 2: I'll give them that. I was about to be like,

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Speaker 2: what the heck? I explain what happened and showed them

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Speaker 2: the porch camera footage. They went to her house for

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Speaker 2: a wellness check and an ambulance showed up too. They

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Speaker 2: told me to stay at my house, so I didn't

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Speaker 2: go with them. Today she came by looking normal. She

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Speaker 2: asked why I called the cops on our party and

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Speaker 2: completely denied it was her at my door the other night.

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Speaker 2: You literally have camera footage. I've got footage. What if

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Speaker 2: we find out that she's a twin this whole time? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: one of them's crazy talking her twin. I didn't bother

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Speaker 2: with the conversation after that. I just shut the door

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Speaker 2: in her face.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Yeah, thank you.

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Speaker 2: This is what the other person should have done. Since

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Speaker 2: my last update, she has found my Reddit account, so

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Speaker 2: I won't disclose any next steps. How did she find

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Speaker 2: your Reddit account?

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Speaker 6: She's freaky.

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Speaker 2: That's like a next level stocker to find someone you

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Speaker 2: don't have any like. Presumably she doesn't have your phone number,

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Speaker 2: doesn't have anything found your Reddit account. She's a witch.

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Speaker 2: I thought about not doing any more updates altogether. But

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Speaker 2: I felt bad about leaving people hanging. And there is

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Speaker 2: a third update. Don't you guys worry. I feel beyond

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Speaker 2: what you're doing. There's not much else you can do. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: just keep not talking to her. It's door closed to

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Speaker 2: the face every time. Blow her out like a candle.

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Speaker 2: I'm blowing you away from my house. And Opie is

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Speaker 2: a woman. I believe Katie. But there is a third update.

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Speaker 2: Some things that happened between updates. There is a homeless

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Speaker 2: guy who has a dog. He's always at this gas

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Speaker 2: station I go to. I decided to find him and

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Speaker 2: donate the jacket our dog used to wear. It was

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Speaker 2: a really nice one from Carhart. You had a nice

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Speaker 2: dog jacket from car Heart.

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Speaker 3: A Carhart jacket for your dog. Okay.

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Speaker 2: I gave him the jacket, then went inside. When I

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Speaker 2: came out, he told me someone was touching my motorcycle.

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Speaker 2: His description wasn't great, A man of few words and

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Speaker 2: most of them were incoherent, but he did say it

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Speaker 2: was a woman. The footage from CCTV was poor quality

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Speaker 2: and low frame rate. The owner let me record the

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Speaker 2: screen with my phone. She either parked out of frame

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Speaker 2: somewhere or had walked, but it looked like it could

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Speaker 2: be her. This entire experience sadly made me realize I

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Speaker 2: think I'm kind of face blind.

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Speaker 3: Well, it was bad footage, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was difficult to tell what she was doing, but

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Speaker 2: it didn't look like much. She called my mom small

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Speaker 2: business with a fake accent to ask about me.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, from somewhere else.

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Speaker 2: Not from around Zeconna. No, no, but I'd like to

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Speaker 2: ask where oh p is.

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Speaker 3: She has one thing Paris Publisher's clearing house, sweepstake.

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Speaker 2: She's got a ticket for a cruise.

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Speaker 3: We have a cartoonishly large check for her.

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Speaker 2: She's got to come to neighbor's house address tomorrow to

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Speaker 2: pick it up.

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Speaker 3: We accidentally gave it to her neighbor, but she can't

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Speaker 3: pick it up.

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Speaker 2: I have no oh associations at the business. Sorry ops.

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Speaker 2: Twenty two males, probably in her late thirties. Apologies everyone,

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Speaker 2: Oh he is a man.

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Speaker 3: He is man.

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Speaker 2: I have no association with the business. I have no

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Speaker 2: idea how she found it. The woman is thirty female.

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Speaker 2: My mom remarried, so even our last names are different.

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Speaker 2: I had roses delivered to me on a few occasions. Ironically,

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Speaker 2: it was the first time I had ever received flowers.

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Speaker 2: I put on weld and gloves to throw them in

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Speaker 2: the trash, but when I came home, my Grandpa had

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Speaker 2: displayed them in a vase in his house. You grad

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Speaker 2: to explain stocking to my grandpa has been a struggle,

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Speaker 2: after which he told me that it had nothing to

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Speaker 2: do with the roses. Oh, Grandpa. She paid a random

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Speaker 2: person to approach me while I was in a grocery store.

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Speaker 2: This person asked me questions. None of them stood out

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Speaker 2: to me. Some of them I didn't understand. My mind

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Speaker 2: blanked a little because his approach was so abrupt. He

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Speaker 2: came back shortly after his attempt to engage me and

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Speaker 2: to apologize and tell me he was paid to ask

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Speaker 2: me things. I was still very confused at this point.

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Speaker 2: I thought I was going to experience an influencer in

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Speaker 2: the wild or something. He offered to take me outside

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Speaker 2: to point out the car. I got paranoid because he

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Speaker 2: was being so pushy about it, and I was still

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Speaker 2: already half restrained by my own arm sling at the time.

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Speaker 2: He was also refusing to tell me anything, wouldn't even

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Speaker 2: say if it was a male or female unless I

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Speaker 2: went outside with him. Don't go out with him. Don't, don't.

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Speaker 2: This is all part of her scheme. I used to

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Speaker 2: work at a barber, so I cut my own hair.

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Speaker 2: And she claimed she has hair clippings that she took

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Speaker 2: from the trash for something called her puppet.

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Speaker 6: Hello puppet.

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Speaker 2: She said she does stuff to it to bring comfort

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Speaker 2: to me when I'm in pain and make me feel good.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh no, oh, no, oh no, there's.

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Speaker 2: A little bit left of the story. Any final thoughts.

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Speaker 3: I want to watch Pirates of the Caribbean.

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Speaker 2: Caribbean. What freak that puppet who says Pirates of the Caribbean.

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Speaker 2: It's Pirates of the Caribbean.

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Speaker 3: You almost just fumbled over your s Yeah, because.

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Speaker 2: You confuse me with your weirdness.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about. We're

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Speaker 3: here to talk about the fact that you can't have

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Speaker 3: a poppet made out of someone else's hair and make.

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00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,680
Speaker 2: Them feel good by doing things to it.

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Speaker 3: Maybe they just make it do like yoga and yeah, she's.

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Speaker 2: Like, I've really been releasing the tension in your back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been trying my beast.

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Speaker 2: I've been doing acupuncture. I know a lot of people

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Speaker 2: use voodoo to like do bad stuff, but I've been

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Speaker 2: using the needles for acupuncture reasons only, like hanging hang,

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Speaker 2: Hang Hang. But to finish this off, this was probably

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Speaker 2: the worst one because it took a mental health toll

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Speaker 2: on me. Although I moved, she developed a habit of

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Speaker 2: trying to convince me she was around me, having small

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Speaker 2: influences over or involvement in my day. I didn't necessarily

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Speaker 2: believe her, but it impacted my ability to take down

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Speaker 2: my guard. So I decided to test this. I posted

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00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,680
Speaker 2: a video on Reddit to this account, stressing about an

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Speaker 2: incident that the people in the subreddit probably thought I

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Speaker 2: was a clown for asking about, but I knew she

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Speaker 2: monitors my account. I also suspected she monitors my friend's

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Speaker 2: Instagram account, through which she was sussing information about me

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Speaker 2: and my whereabouts indirectly. I adam also post as POV

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Speaker 2: of the same incident I posted to my Reddit. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: I mostly did this so to soothe my own paranoia.

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Speaker 2: It felt reassuring to have some kind of proof that

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Speaker 2: she was just making guesses to get under my skin,

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Speaker 2: because eventually I receive a cryptic message about how she

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Speaker 2: was responsible for it, and that it was just a

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Speaker 2: warm up. No, sweetheart, it was the abyss gazing right back. Ooh,

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Speaker 2: and that's the end of that story. Folks. My sister

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Speaker 2: hates the nickname I gave her daughter.

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Speaker 6: Well, you should have came up with a better name. Then.

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Speaker 2: Let me say from the beginning that I do not

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Speaker 2: think I have a right to tell my sister how

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Speaker 2: to parents. If she wants her kid to be called

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Speaker 2: name A instead of name B, that's her decision, not mine. However,

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00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 2: the situation is a little odd and I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: how to feel or how to proceed. By the way,

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00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 2: this comes from about nickname and if you want to

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00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,520
Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 2: storytime separate it.

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Speaker 6: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and I'm Dakota, and we'll.

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Speaker 2: Try to give our best advice. But we haven't experienced

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00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,480
Speaker 2: most of these situations ourselves, so if you have, let

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00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,280
Speaker 2: us know what you would do. In the comments and

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00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 2: op says, I feel I should point out that I

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Speaker 2: love my sister, but she is a self absorbed person.

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Speaker 2: We were having a little party to celebrate my niece Jordan,

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00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:30,040
Speaker 2: finishing first grade, last week at the party, Jordan asked

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Speaker 2: if she could put on some lip gloss, and I said,

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00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,360
Speaker 2: go ask your mom Beezy. My sister suddenly snapped and

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00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 2: started yelling at me to stop calling her daughter that

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Speaker 2: ridiculous name because I was calling her the devil and

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Speaker 2: all the other kids make fun fun of her for it.

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00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 2: What like Beelzebub?

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Speaker 6: Probably is that?

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00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 2: Why Besy? Where did that come from?

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Speaker 6: Though, I'm gonna look this one not well, I'm intrigued.

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00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 6: I always like looking into symbols and things like this.

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00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,400
Speaker 6: Into Beezy, Well, I don't know, it might it might

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00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,200
Speaker 6: have like some sort of well because.

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking if she's saying you're calling her the devil,

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Speaker 2: then she's probably saying it's referring to bielsibalb.

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00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 6: Oh interesting arview. Beezy can be referred to an informal

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00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,840
Speaker 6: sometimes the Rarberry term for a woman, especially in an

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00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 6: African American ver verracular and your skillen slang huh.

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00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,359
Speaker 2: Jordan got mad and said she didn't want to be

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Speaker 2: called Jordan, and she hated that name, and my sister

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00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 2: told her that was her name and that was what

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Speaker 2: shes gotta be called. Nobody in an immediate earshot knew

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Speaker 2: what to do, so we all kind of sat around

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Speaker 2: uncomfortably and ate our food.

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Speaker 6: So the kid wants to be called beezy?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Interesting, I think I think the mom is probably

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Speaker 2: feeling really hurt that her daughter doesn't want to go

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Speaker 2: by like I said that she chose.

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Speaker 6: You should have picked a better name for your kid, amp.

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00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, you named your kid Jordan.

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00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 7: You should have named her le Bron.

380
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,639
Speaker 6: That was your first mistake or hot take, Kobe.

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00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 2: This nickname had a long history. When Jordan was a baby,

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00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,120
Speaker 2: she could be there mischievous and goofy. So I would

383
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 2: sometimes say, aren't you just a little bialzebub?

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00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 7: Yeah?

385
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,040
Speaker 2: Okay, so does come from biazbab. At no point did

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00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 2: this offend my sister or brother in law, even when

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00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 2: my sister asked what beelzeba meant and I told her.

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00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,480
Speaker 2: When Jordan began talking, she repeat the word back as besy,

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00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:22,000
Speaker 2: and it's stuck. From then on, she was my beesy beezyboo, beezyeasy,

390
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:24,440
Speaker 2: has a sneezy, all of the ridiculous things you say

391
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,760
Speaker 2: at a toddler. Then Jordan got older and went to

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Speaker 2: kindergarten and she started telling people to call her Beezy

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00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 2: instead of Jordan.

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00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 6: I see.

395
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,159
Speaker 2: Okay again, nobody and the family had a problem with this.

396
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,399
Speaker 2: The teachers and other students all called her Beezy without

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00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 2: issue throughout kindergarten in first grade, so.

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00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 6: Now it's a problem.

399
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like, wait a minute, this kid likes that

400
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 2: name too much. I should point out that I love

401
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 2: my sister, but she's a self absorbed person. It was

402
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 2: terrible to grow up with her, and she made her

403
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 2: lives difficult until she finished college and moved out. Nicknames

404
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 2: are such a funny thing. Yeah, soap, because yeah, you

405
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 2: can just name someone anything and sometimes it sticks.

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00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 6: I know, guy, his name was Darley, Yeah, Tom Darley,

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Speaker 6: and it goes with Pete.

408
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 2: How did that happen?

409
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 6: Someone called Pete one day and that's that's crazy. That's

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00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 6: my dad's name. His real name's Ryan, but he goes

411
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 6: by Sid because he looked he pitched like the baseball

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00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 6: player Sid something.

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Speaker 2: And the just and that it's just your name.

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00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:25,440
Speaker 6: Yeah.

415
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 2: Our family is well aware that she originally had a

416
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 2: child to snag her husband yikes baby trap, who is

417
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 2: very passive and codependent, and to get attention. Although she

418
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,880
Speaker 2: definitely loves her daughter and takes decent care of her.

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00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 2: My sister is not an empathetic person and isn't the

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00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 2: most attentive mom, so her daughter has become attached to

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00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 2: a few other people in the family for some reason,

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00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 2: kids like me, and she's gotten very attached to me,

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00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 2: in particular. After the blow up, I asked my sister

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00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 2: why she didn't want me using a nickname for her daughter,

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00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,119
Speaker 2: especially since her daughter liked it a lot and felt

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00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 2: it suited her. She came up with two excuses that

427
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 2: I think are complete bs. First, she says it comes

428
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,879
Speaker 2: from Beelzebub, which means the devil. I would get this

429
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,679
Speaker 2: if my sister was really religious, but she's what I

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00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 2: call conveniently religious. She doesn't go to church, has never

431
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 2: read the Bible, and knows next to nothing about the religion.

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00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 4: Yeah, she literally didn't even know that that's told what

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00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 4: it meant in the first place.

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00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 6: Yeah. And Two, if she was, you know, this bothered

435
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 6: her as a religious person the second she learned what

436
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 6: that name was. Yes, she could have put a stop

437
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,959
Speaker 6: to it, be like, hey, if you don't mind, does

438
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 6: make me comfortable?

439
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,880
Speaker 2: She just mentions God and Jesus whenever it's convenient for her,

440
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 2: especially if she's trying to shame somebody that that's crazy

441
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 2: to not have read the Bible or go to church.

442
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 2: But still, what are you even pulling from She's like Psalms,

443
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,160
Speaker 2: is that.

444
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 6: One of them two Corinthians.

445
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 2: She's just shouting numbers. She's like to Jacob, to Simon.

446
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 4: Two Corinthians walk into uh in Ezekiel and uh oh.

447
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,959
Speaker 6: Boyer, my arm's tired. You can't be a lukewarm Christian.

448
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 6: You gotta be cold or.

449
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 2: Hot like it.

450
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 4: Since they're not actually calling her a bls about, they're

451
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 4: just calling her a beezy, that's not really the same thing. No, Yeah,

452
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 4: like I think I think the rules are pretty strict

453
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 4: when it comes to demons and stuff. You got to

454
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 4: say like the right stuff to invoke them or stumped

455
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 4: you know whatever. Not that that's necessarily true.

456
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 2: Just why but yeah, there's more. But yeah, I get

457
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 2: what you're saying.

458
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 4: Shout out to my ancient Aramaics.

459
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 2: My sister had zero problems with this nickname until this moment. Also,

460
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 2: she is now claiming she named Jordan for the river Jordan,

461
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 2: but that's a complete lie. She got the name out

462
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,119
Speaker 2: of a book of baby names. That just listed names

463
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 2: by letter.

464
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:51,360
Speaker 6: What, dude, you don't even like I'm sorry, you don't

465
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 6: even understand what happened?

466
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:53,439
Speaker 4: Right? Is that?

467
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 2: Whatna? The river of Jordan?

468
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,919
Speaker 6: So she said, tell me one thing that happened at

469
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 6: the river Jordan.

470
00:21:58,640 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 7: She doesn't know they're fishing it.

471
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 2: If she doesn't know anything, she couldn't name anything. She

472
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 2: hasn't read the Bible or gone to church. They read

473
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 2: the Bible to you there. Second, she claims the other

474
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 2: kids are making fun of her for the stupid name.

475
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: I know this isn't true because I work at the

476
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,479
Speaker 2: school my niece attends. We live in a diverse area,

477
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 2: so the kids have names from a huge range of

478
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,639
Speaker 2: cultures and languages, and nobody bats an eye at Beezy.

479
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 2: The teachers and other students have called her Beezy for

480
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: two years now without issue. She is very popular at

481
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 2: her school. Really, I'm just not sure what to do

482
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 2: or what to make of this. I can't force my

483
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 2: niece to use her birth name, can I? And I

484
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 2: get the feeling this isn't about the name, but is

485
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,439
Speaker 2: more about my sister's possessiveness and jealousy. And there is

486
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 2: an update, folks, But what do you think.

487
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 6: Give contacts on the River of Jordan had a check her.

488
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 6: It comes from whenever the Israelites passed through another dry river,

489
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 6: it was the Jordan to get into the Promised Land.

490
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 6: So basically her name would mean the end of suffering

491
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 6: in some scenarios if you, you know, looked at it. Yeah,

492
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 6: this woman, I don't know. I wouldn't name my child

493
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 6: into suffering.

494
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 2: Well, I don't think Jordan is a bad name.

495
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 6: But from what the mom said, it's like that makes

496
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 6: absolutely no sense.

497
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just seems like I like, again, I don't

498
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 2: think there is a problem with look up through a

499
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 2: baby name and just picking one that you like. I

500
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: don't think there's a problem in naming your baby after

501
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 2: the river Jordan. The thing is that she's clearly lying,

502
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,679
Speaker 2: and I don't know why.

503
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 6: It's it's weird, it's you know, I think it's because

504
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 6: she's self absorbed person.

505
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,719
Speaker 2: I think you would be right about that.

506
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 8: What are the nicknames bezy besy yells bub yeas No, no, no, no,

507
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 8: I mean someone watches maybe some has been hotel or something.

508
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 2: What that was? That's that's queen.

509
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,679
Speaker 7: No, I I know, but look at me.

510
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 2: What you don't know the Queen song. Huh anything Man

511
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: Love Man Man, the famous Queen song Queen.

512
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 7: That's a song what was it called?

513
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:08,880
Speaker 2: I'm just bohemian? Bohemian? You didn't say that though, Yeah,

514
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 2: but I thought I was trying to help you get along.

515
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:12,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, I love that song.

516
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 2: I could. Yeah, there's a part of.

517
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 6: Karaokey happens that's number.

518
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 2: One, Everyone's number one. It's such a hard song to

519
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,640
Speaker 2: sing though, which just a crazy thing to pick for karaoke. Yeah,

520
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 2: but uh, we got none. Update. Jordan's father is black,

521
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 2: and his family is very religious and very into representing

522
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 2: their culture and heritage. Jordan loves spirituals. Her favorite is

523
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 2: Go Down Moses. She also likes songs from old musicals

524
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 2: we watched together that reference the struggles of slavery. When

525
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 2: she was about four or five, my sister realized she

526
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 2: loved those songs and tried telling her husband that Jordan

527
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 2: was not allowed to listen to that type of music

528
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 2: or watch movies about slavery because my sister wasn't raised

529
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,080
Speaker 2: that way. What does that mean? I'm confused by that.

530
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 2: Is she trying? What is her what's her reasoning there?

531
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 6: Yeah?

532
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 2: That doesn't make sense. Interesting, My brother in law is

533
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 2: usually really passive, but this was one moment where he

534
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 2: stood up to my sister and told her that their

535
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 2: daughter is half black and can trace her heritage back

536
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 2: to the plantations, so ignoring her heritage wasn't gonna happen.

537
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 2: My sister will regularly pick this fight with her husband

538
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 2: when Jordan starts liking something from African American culture that

539
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,919
Speaker 2: my sister doesn't like. Ro So it seems like, is

540
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 2: sister and op a white and yeah, yeah, the lawyer

541
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 2: princess says, oh, it's white guilt.

542
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

543
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,719
Speaker 2: The sister is like uncomfortable by this talk about you know,

544
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 2: slavery and anything that has to do with Jordan's you know,

545
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 2: heritage and stuff, and so she just doesn't want to

546
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 2: talk about it. She's like, no, we shouldn't, we should

547
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 2: talk about that.

548
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 6: Hot take. This person does not have high emotional intelligence

549
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 6: and cannot comprehend or express how they feel in a

550
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 6: you know, that's a reason.

551
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 2: That's just the correct take. After my sister yelled me

552
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 2: at the picnic, I didn't watch Jordan for a few days.

553
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,199
Speaker 2: Shortly after I posted my original post, I sent my

554
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 2: sister a few text messages to see how she was doing,

555
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 2: and she sent back, don't think I don't know what

556
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 2: you're up to. I haven't changed my mind about that

557
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 2: stupid name. I told her that was fine. She was

558
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 2: Jordan's mother and I'd respect her wishes. She sent another

559
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 2: message saying her name is Jordan, nothing else, because that's

560
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 2: what I named her. Yikes.

561
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 6: This woman definitely thinks everyone's out together.

562
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, everything's about me, and so therefore everyone's

563
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 2: against me.

564
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 6: Mm hmm. She's in this defensive.

565
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 2: Jordan's other grandmother actually dropped her off at my house

566
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 2: this morning, and she said something like, hey, Beezy, tell

567
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 2: your aunt all about the bugs you found. I was

568
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 2: so shocked to hear that name after it had been

569
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,199
Speaker 2: supposedly banned. I asked her grandmother if my sister had

570
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: spoken to her about the nickname, and she was like, oh,

571
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: she was serious about that. That doesn't make sense. We've

572
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,919
Speaker 2: been calling her bees all week, right in front of

573
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 2: her mom too. I asked her what my sister had

574
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 2: been calling her, and she gave me a weird look

575
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 2: and said Beezy and JP like usual, why it was

576
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 2: about you. She's jealous that you have a better relationship

577
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 2: with her. Daughter than she does.

578
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 4: YO.

579
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 6: Probably so that's so weird you uh.

580
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 2: Before she left, my sister's mother in law mentioned that

581
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,199
Speaker 2: my sister had yelled at her this past week too.

582
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 2: Apparently Jordan had been watching TV and a black woman

583
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,360
Speaker 2: with corn rows came on screen. Jordan told her grandmother

584
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 2: she loved her hair. Mother in law said her cousin

585
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 2: could do her hair like that if she wanted. My

586
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 2: sister got angry and said there was no way her

587
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 2: hair was getting putting corn rows. When mother in law

588
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 2: explained that Jordan's father used to have corn rows and

589
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 2: knew all about them, my sister said, well, I don't

590
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 2: like how they look. Jordan said, Aunt Bibee has hair

591
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 2: like that and she looks really pretty. Don't you think

592
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 2: i'd look pretty? Apparently my sister just said no, and

593
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 2: don't you do her hair like that? It's hideous. Jordan's

594
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: grandmother said she didn't push the issue because she's not

595
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 2: the girl's mother, but she knew would hurt Jordan's feelings.

596
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: As soon as Jordan's grandmother left, I texted my sister

597
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 2: and said I'm only going to call her Jordan, and

598
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 2: then sister says, right, I was furious, but I need

599
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,640
Speaker 2: to pick my battles. My niece and I are close

600
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 2: and I don't want our relationship cut off. So once

601
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 2: Jordan was relaxed, I said, Honey, we need to have

602
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 2: a talk about your name. Mommy really wants me to

603
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 2: call you Jordan, and I think it's important that we

604
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 2: do what she says. My niece got really upset and

605
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 2: said that wasn't fair. Her mom called her Beezy herself

606
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 2: and everybody else did. All of her friends call her Besy.

607
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 2: The name is special to her. She loves fairies and

608
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,959
Speaker 2: it always reminds her of fairies. She hates the name Jordan.

609
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: It was a real mess. So finally I said, well,

610
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 2: what would happen if I stopped calling you Besy? She

611
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 2: said names like that are magical and special, So if

612
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 2: I stopped calling her Beezy, she wouldn't be special or

613
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 2: magical anymore.

614
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 7: Ah, well, he's giving me you.

615
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

616
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 8: I hated my name growing up. I have so many nicknames.

617
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 8: Growing up, I had so many nicknames because one.

618
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 6: Name, thank you Bum. It was like what double plumb bum?

619
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 7: That's what that it is? Yeah, there's there's another one.

620
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 8: It was just like growing up because no one could

621
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 8: pronounce my name correctly.

622
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 2: That always confuses me. Well, people have really easy names

623
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: to pronounce, and then.

624
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 8: I don't know, if you read it on paper, it's

625
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 8: difficult and I understand it. But like as a shy child,

626
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 8: I hated my name because I didn't want to correct people,

627
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 8: so they would say my name incorrectly, other than my friends, who.

628
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 7: Yeah say, but still it was just like, oh man,

629
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 7: I don't want to I don't want to be that guy.

630
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 6: I just love the kid logic here on this kid

631
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 6: yeah magic, but this I like, I can see where

632
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 6: he's going with this, and I like it.

633
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 8: I like it.

634
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

635
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 8: My nicknames made me feel feel more special because I

636
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 8: had like that means I had a relationship with someone

637
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 8: that like was very important that they would have something,

638
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 8: you know, a special.

639
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 2: Name specific to that person.

640
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 8: Bro.

641
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 6: No one ever gave me a nickname growing up.

642
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 2: I never got a nickname. Well, I had fa this.

643
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 6: Called Wilson, but no one would call me Wilson. No

644
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 6: one called me nickname.

645
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 2: Sometimes I got called Donner by teachers because there were

646
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 2: so many Sophia's.

647
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 6: I got called mac for a little bit. Interesting because

648
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 6: in college were so many Rileys yeah, I just like

649
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 6: call me Mac Mac.

650
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 7: That's kind of cool.

651
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: I told her she's special no matter what, but she

652
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 2: was still upset. I was scrambling for a minute, and

653
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: then I realized, well, if she wants her name to

654
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 2: be magical, we can do that. I asked her if

655
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 2: she wanted to make Jordan special too. When she eventually agreed,

656
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: we listened to some of her favorite songs that mentioned

657
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 2: the river Jordan, and I said, see, Jordan is really

658
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 2: special in these songs. That did the trick. She was thrilled.

659
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 2: I think I heard Old Man River a dozen times,

660
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 2: but it was worth it. Victory. I figured we were

661
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 2: all done with this. I could safely call her Jordan.

662
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 2: The battle was avoided. Of course, not an hour ago,

663
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 2: I got a visit from a very pissed off sister.

664
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 2: Apparently Jordan told her mom all about the songs and

665
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: now our name was special because of them, And now

666
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 2: my sister is telling me I can't call her Jordan.

667
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 2: What am I supposed to call her?

668
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 8: Kid?

669
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 2: That's great? Okay, so now if the sister comes. If

670
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: this happened to me, and the sister came to me

671
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 2: and said, well, now you've made her like her name,

672
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: so you can't call her that either. I'd be like, oh,

673
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 2: so you just want me to do You just want

674
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 2: me to have a bad relationship with your daughter, and

675
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 2: you're trying to sabotage it.

676
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 6: LOGI in this scenario, I'm also a sister. I just

677
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 6: slapped my sister in her face. We will do what

678
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 6: you want to do. That would that be better.

679
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 2: For you that?

680
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, she just doesn't run around gosh ridiculous.

681
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 2: I asked her why, and she said something like she

682
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 2: likes the name now because of those black people songs.

683
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 2: I effing hate that music. You're a racist. Why did

684
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 2: you have a relationship She literally baby trapped a black man.

685
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you disgusting little I'm your wife is

686
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: a racist?

687
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 6: Hey man, you gotta call her raps with my sister.

688
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 6: I know she's crazy. You definitely know she's crazy. Yeah,

689
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 6: I'll help with her lawyer fees, whatever you got.

690
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 2: I mean. Op said that the husband was kind of

691
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 2: like a pushover a little bit, but not about his daughter.

692
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 4: Ka.

693
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 2: So I feel like you come to him and you say, hey,

694
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: she's actively trying to make your daughter like not like

695
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 2: half of herself. You gotta put a.

696
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 6: Stop to that, we're gonna go find your backbone real quick.

697
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 2: I said, I'm really sorry, but Jordan loves it, and

698
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 2: it was the only way I could get her to

699
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 2: accept her calling her Jordan instead of Beasy. She kept

700
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: ranting about how that was too bad, she hated that music,

701
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 2: she wasn't raised with black culture, et cetera. At note

702
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 2: point did she mentioned my niece's feelings. I finally asked her,

703
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 2: if I can't call her the name she wants to

704
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: be called, and I can't call her her birth name,

705
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: what am I supposed to call her? And she just

706
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 2: stared at me completely blank, for I don't know how long,

707
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 2: and then she said, in a really nasty voice, just

708
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 2: call her whatever you want. Then bye. Minute later, she's

709
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 2: totally calm and asking me to watch my niece again

710
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 2: in a few days so she can go shopping. And

711
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:10,479
Speaker 2: I'd be like, what was your niece's name? And by

712
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 2: the way, she called her Beezy almost the whole time

713
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: she was there, heavy it was Bisarre, Yeah, yeah, who's

714
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 2: my niece? For me? This confirms that the problem wasn't

715
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 2: busy at all. My sister is picking fights like this

716
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 2: because she's a first class self absorbed person. She is

717
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 2: jealous that her daughter has a good relationship with other people,

718
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 2: and she's mad that her daughter is becoming her own person.

719
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 2: Jordan likes something her mom doesn't like. She gets pissed off.

720
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 2: Picking a fight with the adults makes her feel like

721
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 2: she's in control of Jordan again, but doesn't directly come

722
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,120
Speaker 2: off as abusing or yelling at her daughter. When I

723
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 2: look back, this fits a real pattern of behavior for her.

724
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 2: I think also this maybe reading way too much into

725
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 2: her psyche, but I think because she is a self

726
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 2: absorbed person, I think there's this level of jealousy of

727
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: wanting to participate and like have parts of black culture

728
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 2: that she doesn't have acces. And that's like why she

729
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 2: you know, married or like got with this black man,

730
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 2: even though she has all this like racism and stuff,

731
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 2: and I feel like she's jealous of it, but she

732
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 2: can't be a part of it, and so she just

733
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 2: kind of makes, you know, she tries to instill that

734
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 2: hatred in her daughter.

735
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 6: She wants to go to the cookout, but she can't attend.

736
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: She's not invited. The good thing is that my sister

737
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 2: will rarely watch her daughter for more than one full

738
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 2: day at a stretch before she gets frustrated or bored,

739
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 2: so I know she won't cut me off. She depends

740
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: on me too much for a child care. I'm just

741
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 2: going to try and be there for Jordan as much

742
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 2: as I can. And I won't say it aloud, but

743
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 2: when she turns eighteen, she's welcome to move in with me.

744
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,760
Speaker 2: And there is a second update, but a one year later.

745
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 6: WHOA.

746
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 2: Do you have any final thoughts?

747
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 6: If I was OPI I would call my brother in

748
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 6: law try to make an exit plan.

749
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 2: Yeah.

750
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 6: I agree, this woman deserves to be with no one.

751
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 6: I just think like she could be with herself.

752
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 2: She's actively harming your daughter by putting these thoughts in

753
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 2: her head.

754
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 6: Psychologist, Yeah, like in a way that could decades of

755
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 6: therapy can maybe help yes figure out.

756
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, but there is a little bit more. I think.

757
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 2: Definitely talk to your brother in law about the treatment

758
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 2: towards your daughter. Wrestling, Mama says, ask them to pronounce

759
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 2: is it not just lebrascia?

760
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 7: Is it labrashia or labrasia labrascia.

761
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 2: I based on its spelling, I would say lebrashia, but

762
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,359
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's correct. But there is another

763
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,720
Speaker 2: update a year later. For the record, it has become

764
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: very clear to me over this past year that my

765
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 2: sister picks fights with me and uses my niece as collateral.

766
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 2: She seems to do it for attention, to play the victim,

767
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,320
Speaker 2: and to assert her primacy as Beezy's parent. She doesn't

768
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 2: actually care about what she picks fights about. The fight

769
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 2: about niece's next nickname, for example, quickly blew over when

770
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,479
Speaker 2: I came up with a solution and the family wasn't

771
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,879
Speaker 2: willing to keep fighting over it. She has since picked

772
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,879
Speaker 2: several fights. I have always told her I would defer

773
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: to her judgment as the parent, and she would almost

774
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 2: immediately deflate and let it go because I wasn't taking

775
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,759
Speaker 2: the bait this time, though, I think she might have

776
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: a legitimate grievance, and I'm not sure how to approach it.

777
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 2: Beezy went back to school last week. Today, when I

778
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 2: was getting ready to leave our family's Labor Day picnic,

779
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 2: my sister cornered me in the kitchen. Furious, I asked

780
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,879
Speaker 2: her what was wrong? I guess Beezi's class was told

781
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 2: to draw a picture of them with their two favorite people,

782
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 2: then write a couple of sentences about the people in picture,

783
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left to this story.

784
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 6: The picture was with up and her dad.

785
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:43,760
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, probably most kids picked their parents, but Beezy

786
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 2: drew me and one of her aunts on her dad's side.

787
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 2: Oh that didn't even make the cut. My sisters said

788
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 2: her sentences were things like I love my Aunt blank

789
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,879
Speaker 2: and Aunt blank so much because they let me play

790
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 2: with their makeup, typical eight year old stuff. I thought

791
00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 2: it was really sweet, but I could tell my sister

792
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 2: was an mad so I asked her why she was angry.

793
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 2: She told me that she was really hurt that Beezy

794
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 2: loved me and the other aunt more than her own parents,

795
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 2: and she thinks it's because Beez spends too much time

796
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 2: with us, and we spoiler. It's crazy that she's saying

797
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 2: you spend too much time with her daughter when she's

798
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,840
Speaker 2: literally instantly saying, can you watch my daughter? Can you

799
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 2: watch my daughter? Come on, I.

800
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 6: Can't reason with the fool. Yeah, everyone remember this, she said.

801
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 2: I was kind of shocked, so I just asked her

802
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 2: if Beezy knew she was upset. She said no, she

803
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 2: had just told her daughter that I was a very

804
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 2: pretty picture, then put it away in her bedroom. Then

805
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 2: she told me she was reconsidering having Bez spend so

806
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 2: much time with us alone, and she stormed out of

807
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,320
Speaker 2: the kitchen and left the party before I could say anything.

808
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

809
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 6: My gosh, I wooe. I would literally what I do.

810
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 6: I would sell three goats and one of my cars

811
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 6: to not have a like this. It's crazy. I could not.

812
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 6: I don't know. Just like you're trying to hang out

813
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 6: with a niece that you love and then just all

814
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 6: this crazy stuff happens.

815
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, who now, Oh, she's making it so difficult, so

816
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: difficult for no reason.

817
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 6: My bride Zilla's sister secretly hates me.

818
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 2: She's a spy.

819
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 6: I'm almost twenty eight female and got married at the

820
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,240
Speaker 6: beginning of this year. Now my younger sister, Becky, twenty

821
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 6: five female, it's getting married and it's quickly made me

822
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,720
Speaker 6: realize I don't think we're as close as I thought.

823
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Dry Rain sixty four.

824
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 6: If you want to set your own stories, go to

825
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay story to himself a bred it,

826
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:37,720
Speaker 6: I'm Riley.

827
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 7: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon.

828
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 6: And we'll try to give our best advice, but we

829
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 6: haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so if you have,

830
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 6: please let us know in the comments below. So at

831
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 6: P says Becky lives ten minutes away and we've seen

832
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 6: each other weekly. We have major life differences. My partner

833
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 6: and I are queer, and she's highly conservative and active

834
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 6: and high control religion. But I thought we were close.

835
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 6: My sister, my only other sister, Grace, lives eight hours

836
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 6: away by plane and isn't mentally well. So from my wedding,

837
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 6: after talking to Becky about this first, I made them

838
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 6: co maids of honor. As predicted, Becky was engaged with

839
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 6: the wedding, and Grace just flew down for the wedding

840
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 6: was barely more than a guest. Didn't notice her mind.

841
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 6: Now Becky is getting married, and I'm realizing I think

842
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 6: not only does she disagree with my lifestyle and choices,

843
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 6: but I almost feel like she either dislikes me or

844
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 6: is ashamed of me. At her engagement party, i'mt at

845
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 6: least two people, one of whom Becky, One of whom

846
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 6: Becky herself described as her mentor and spiritual mother, who

847
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 6: when asking me how I knew her responded that they

848
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,279
Speaker 6: didn't know Becky had any siblings. O.

849
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 2: That's heartbreaking to learn, as like a like A you know,

850
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 2: I've if I was meeting people that were supposedly important

851
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,320
Speaker 2: to my sibling and they didn't even know I existed.

852
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 6: Once is weird? Twice at night made it clear my

853
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 6: partner and I weren't welcome. Yeah, and this is gonna

854
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 6: be if you have different, you know, lifestyles, and you're

855
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 6: going into one lifestyle that's a little bit harsher on

856
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 6: other LIFESTYLESNA, there's gonna be a lot of resistant intention. Yeah,

857
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 6: for a wedding, she wants to pick out what I

858
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 6: want to wear. Fine, normal enough. She gave me a

859
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 6: list of like one hundred and sixty five dresses I

860
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,720
Speaker 6: could choose to buy from, except none of the dresses

861
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 6: are in the same style or general color palette. It's

862
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 6: so broad it's almost like she just wanted to make

863
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 6: sure I didn't wear anything that I normally wear, which

864
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 6: isn't immodest in any way, but certainly isn't conservative tradwife,

865
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 6: which her community prefers. At our wedding, we sent a

866
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 6: color palette of six color options and let our wedding

867
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 6: party where whatever they felt great. Becky was the only

868
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 6: one who chosen out for the outside of those requested colors.

869
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 6: In any other case, I'd be like, Okay, she's the

870
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 6: bride whatever, except she's not asked me to be the

871
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 6: maid of honor. She's not even asked me to be

872
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 6: a bridesmaid. She told me she wanted to have me

873
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 6: in the official bridal party, but anything she'd do for me,

874
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 6: she'd have to do for Grace, who she strongly dislikes

875
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 6: as she can be uncomfortable to be around due to

876
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:30,760
Speaker 6: her mental health illnesses. So instead of either assuming Grace

877
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 6: won't once or be able to be involved as much

878
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 6: like she wasn't my wedding, she briefly mentioned that we'd

879
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 6: be her flower girls.

880
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, instead of being a part of the wedding party.

881
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know.

882
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 2: This is this is This is her sister Becky saying

883
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,720
Speaker 2: you're just gonna be the flower girls, which is usually

884
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 2: I mean, everyone can have their own wedding things, but

885
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 2: that's usually for kids.

886
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 6: Mm hm. And you probably have kids that are waiting

887
00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:58,760
Speaker 6: in line for that spot.

888
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, the little girls that really wanted that position.

889
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you never got picked to be a flower girl.

890
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: And she's I didn't have any any family members that

891
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:12,879
Speaker 2: I was close enough to get who were getting married

892
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 2: that didn't have closer little girls.

893
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 6: I see. Yeah, I know this is a fun trend

894
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 6: recently to have older adults be flower people. But I

895
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 6: am a history educator, and if you knew me, you'd

896
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 6: know I'm not someone who'd strike you as being fun

897
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 6: or cute to do that. I'm already struggling with feeling

898
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 6: insulting and humiliating to make me and my mentally unwell

899
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 6: older sister be flower girls. But the demand is also

900
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,760
Speaker 6: still go to all the events and have to buy

901
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 6: a new dress that she controls is pushing me over

902
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 6: the edge. I want to respect her as a person,

903
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 6: sister and bride, and ultimately I'll honor her wishes, but

904
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 6: I just can't help feel so belittled and disrespected and hurt.

905
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 6: I am wondering if this is our of the ordinary

906
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 6: enough to justify it feeling hard, or if this is

907
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 6: just how weddings are and I should continue to stuff

908
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 6: it and carry on. We have an update. I think

909
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 6: she's putting you there because she's ashamed.

910
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I think that she has made it very

911
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: clear that she doesn't support you as or your identity,

912
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 2: which is really heartbreaking. And I feel like you can

913
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 2: have a conversation with her and say, hey, this is

914
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 2: feels pretty insulting, but it also might be a thing

915
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 2: of limiting contact.

916
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,399
Speaker 6: You don't have to be a part of this wedding too.

917
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's also It can be like, no, I'm

918
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 2: gonna decline to be your flower girl, but maybe I'll

919
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 2: go to the wedding.

920
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, and maybe the sister Becky's trying to play

921
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 6: Oh that's gonna be the flower girl. She'll say no

922
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 6: and she won't come, or she will be a part

923
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 6: of the bridal party.

924
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,359
Speaker 2: Maybe that's so insulting that she just won't even come.

925
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 6: Ikes, oh that sucks. Okay, we have an update, Kean.

926
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 6: What do you think she should do? Not go?

927
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 8: D easy, Yeah, not go. There's no point like unfortunately,

928
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 8: this is the bear and.

929
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 7: The bear the bride.

930
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 8: Soela, Oh yeah, like you like, this is this is

931
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 8: her den you know? M hmm.

932
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

933
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 8: I say it all the time. Again, you're wedding your rules.

934
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 8: If those are rules, and that person is just draining,

935
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 8: there's no reason to be in that den with them.

936
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 6: I agreed draining people they're the worst. They really are.

937
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,800
Speaker 7: Let me drain you, Riley, you already did in Vegas.

938
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 6: Sorry, Sorry that stayed in Vegas. Yeah, what about stays

939
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:39,839
Speaker 6: in Vegas? Anyways, update, I came seeking advice. I didn't

940
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 6: want to do it because it felt demeaning and performative,

941
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 6: but struggled with the idea of saying no for her

942
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 6: big day. The whole thing confirmed for me that I

943
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 6: don't think she really likes me, which was sad. I

944
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 6: grieved it, thought through what my response might be, brace

945
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 6: for impact, and reached out asking if we could talk

946
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 6: about it multiple times over the course of weeks, but

947
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 6: never got a response back. So eventually she texted my

948
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 6: family group chat the Zola link to collect info on

949
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 6: her wedding website. I started filling it out. She texted

950
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 6: me privately saying, Hey, I was planning on thinking of

951
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 6: a cute way to ask you to be my flower girl,

952
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 6: but never thought of anything and just didn't have the time.

953
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 6: So if you see it on my wedding website, pretend

954
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 6: to be surprised. Ouch. I wish this was a person

955
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 6: who didn't have history of really savage manipulation, and I

956
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 6: could give the benefit of the doubt, but it's hard

957
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 6: to believe this wasn't purposeful on her part, not to

958
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 6: give me the chance to refuse. I texted back right away,

959
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 6: saying the most gracious, gentle, longer version of thanks so

960
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 6: much for the offer, but I'm not comfortable accepting. But

961
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 6: here are some other things I'd be happy to help with,

962
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 6: and went on to suggest I didn't need her to

963
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 6: create a superficial role for me, and if she was

964
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 6: worried about Grace's response, I'd be happy to go as

965
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 6: a guest with Grace so she doesn't feel singled out.

966
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a better it's a better solution than you

967
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 2: guys being flower girls.

968
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 6: Okay, Yeah, if you're comfortable with this, I definitely do that.

969
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

970
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 6: She replied with Okay, I get it. Thanks for letting

971
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 6: me know, and went on to make it sound like

972
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 6: she was relieved to have the out.

973
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,

974
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break from hoss from our sponsors, which.

975
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,879
Speaker 6: I believe was Becky's playing this whole time.

976
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I feel like she's still gonna make a

977
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 2: problem out of it.

978
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 6: Even though her playing worked.

979
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what

980
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 2: she's up to.

981
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 6: I agree. So then seven days later, I get a

982
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 6: ten minute voice message from her saying she has thought

983
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 6: about it long and hard, and she never asked for anything,

984
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 6: but she decided she wants me to be a flower

985
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:50,320
Speaker 6: girl and that's final.

986
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,959
Speaker 2: You can't force so B to be her flower girl.

987
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: What are you doing?

988
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 6: Okay? She says that's the main reason she didn't ask

989
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 6: me to be a bridesmaid was because she wants her

990
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 6: day to be full of prayer and was trying to

991
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 6: accommodate me. I'm not religious anymore, but have no problem

992
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 6: with her, and I'm still constantly around my family who

993
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 6: praise and practices.

994
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 2: That feels like such like a lie. She's like, well,

995
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 2: I was doing it for you because because I know

996
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 2: that you don't like prayer, so I didn't think that

997
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,399
Speaker 2: you'd want to be a bride's maid.

998
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 6: I still invite Sophia to Green Barbecue, even though she's

999
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 6: not gonna eat meat exactly. Still hanging out.

1000
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:30,919
Speaker 2: It's about hanging out.

1001
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 6: Kean still advites me to the bars even though I

1002
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 6: don't drink. I'm still hanging out bat that's right. This

1003
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 6: is just silly, And she goes on further to say,

1004
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 6: the only possible reason I could have for declining is

1005
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 6: if I can't really stomach being around prayful people. And

1006
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 6: if it's the case that I simply don't like her

1007
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 6: or her Christian friends demanded that I'm say that's the reason, then.

1008
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 2: It's crazy that she's like reaching this hard when it's

1009
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 2: just so obviously that op. It feels offended that she's

1010
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 2: not a part of the bridesmaids.

1011
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, sister, this is not sisterly love.

1012
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it is not.

1013
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 6: You were not loving thy neighbor or your sister. She

1014
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 6: also added that she also asked her future sister in

1015
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 6: laws ages twelve, fourteen and age twenty two and married

1016
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 6: to be flower girls, who all said yes, and we're excited.

1017
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 6: Maybe I would be two if I were walking with

1018
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 6: my tween age sisters. It doesn't make me feel any better,

1019
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:31,720
Speaker 6: but it does add plenty of social pressure. By this point,

1020
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 6: I hadn't talked to Grace about any of this in

1021
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 6: an attempt to minimize drama, but when she sent an

1022
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 6: eight minute voice message to us in a group chat,

1023
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 6: basically saying everyone else is doing it, and if you

1024
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,359
Speaker 6: say no, you have to explain to me why I

1025
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 6: felt comfortable talking to Grace about it. I call Grace,

1026
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 6: who has hand painted us gifts to ask us to

1027
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 6: be her co matrons of honor, and is absolutely completely

1028
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 6: gutted to find out that this is the first message

1029
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 6: she's gone from Becky in almost three years.

1030
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 2: Wow. Wow, so she's bringing in people. Wait, wait, did

1031
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 2: you who got the message three years ago? Or so?

1032
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 6: I think Grace was she handpainted us gifts to ask

1033
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 6: us to be your co matrons of honor and she

1034
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,640
Speaker 6: now realizes that she's a flower girl because Becky hasn't

1035
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 6: talked to her in three years. Dang, wow she hand

1036
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 6: painted them?

1037
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, Yeah, No, there's not much of a relationship there.

1038
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 2: It seems there's not U.

1039
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 6: As we're talking, Grace checks the website to see that

1040
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 6: in the last six days since I gracefully but firmly declined,

1041
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 6: she left my name up as a flower girl on

1042
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 6: her public website. At first, if she'd sat down with

1043
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 6: me and said, I don't see you in my wedding party,

1044
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 6: but it would mean the world to me if you

1045
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 6: consider this role. I know it's non traditional, but I

1046
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:58,279
Speaker 6: mean it to be different, not offensive. So so what

1047
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 6: could we do to make it that way? I was

1048
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 6: prepared to make some suggestions and get over one uncomfortable day,

1049
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 6: but at every time she seems to be underscoring how

1050
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 6: little she respects or cares about me, and that this

1051
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 6: role really is to get us the social credit of

1052
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 6: having us technically in the wedding.

1053
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 2: That's exactly what it feels like. Oh man, I.

1054
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 6: Just this makes no sense. Just don't ask them to

1055
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:23,720
Speaker 6: be in the wedding.

1056
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 2: If you like, be straightforward, don't do all this manipulative stuff.

1057
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then flip it around and be Vie yeah,

1058
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 6: and then blame them. I felt like my only options

1059
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 6: were to lay low and to go with it, or

1060
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 6: to absolutely blow things up by saying no, and she

1061
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 6: definitely made sure one path was far easier than the other.

1062
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,239
Speaker 6: I told her I needed a few days to think

1063
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 6: on it before texting back, which I did. Unfortunately, this

1064
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 6: type of manipulative, unkind behavior has been ongoing issue in

1065
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 6: our relationship for years and hugely impacts our family. Now

1066
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 6: that I'm married, I don't want to subject my own

1067
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 6: family my future kids this type of behavior. After thinking

1068
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 6: on it, I felt like if I bended here, it

1069
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 6: would never get any better. So I held my ground

1070
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 6: and said, no fair.

1071
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,240
Speaker 2: I think that's good. I think you need to respect

1072
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:15,359
Speaker 2: I think you need to create your own boundaries, and

1073
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 2: she should respect them.

1074
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:21,800
Speaker 6: She should this sister's man, Am I right, hey, buddy,

1075
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,399
Speaker 6: good dope, get rid of them?

1076
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 2: No?

1077
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 6: Maybe this one though, Yeah. I said, I want a

1078
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 6: relationship where we can love and respect each other and

1079
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 6: our choices, even the ones we don't agree with, and said,

1080
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 6: how disrespectful and her I was. She not only never

1081
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 6: asked me, but also that she didn't honor my answer

1082
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:43,920
Speaker 6: when I declined. I said, it's a bigger issue to

1083
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 6: discuss and didn't want to add more to her plate.

1084
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 6: So let her know that she could reach out if

1085
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 6: and when she's ready to talk about it, but that

1086
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 6: the ball was in her court to do so. I

1087
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,720
Speaker 6: was recently talking to a friend where she has issues

1088
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 6: with another one of her girlfriends, and the balls and

1089
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 6: her court. It's gonna stay in her court. She's done

1090
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 6: with the friendship. She's not gonna do anything. I feel

1091
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 6: like Becky here, okay, goods in my court I'm gonna

1092
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 6: keep the ball.

1093
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,680
Speaker 2: She's not going to pass that ball, and you don't

1094
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 2: want her to pass that ball.

1095
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 6: I think I think we're done here.

1096
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, she can keep that ball.

1097
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 6: It's so horrid when it comes to family to call

1098
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 6: it quits.

1099
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:17,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, we know it needs to be quits.

1100
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 6: But you want to, I'd be like, I'm here for you.

1101
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. She already doesn't talked to that the other sister

1102
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 2: for three years, so it's clearly she's the one caught

1103
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,760
Speaker 2: quits on this. I'm going family.

1104
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, un momento, peeps, thank you. I think a few inches.

1105
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 6: I grew so many inches.

1106
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 8: Oh oh man, it's twenty five and hegroes tall four

1107
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:40,280
Speaker 8: more inches Sophia.

1108
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 2: Any who, that's.

1109
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,400
Speaker 6: What Keyon said. Yeah, not me.

1110
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:46,600
Speaker 2: Let's hear the rest of the start.

1111
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 7: I didn't say a thing.

1112
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 6: I think you should pull up and be a flower girl.

1113
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,439
Speaker 6: But I have a flower truck too, And.

1114
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 8: Just be the best flower girl you can be, Like

1115
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 8: be like the like the center of attention. Don't really

1116
00:52:58,200 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 8: do that, but do it, you know.

1117
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,760
Speaker 6: Give every body prayer guards like have you seen.

1118
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 7: Those people on lasses?

1119
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 2: God bless?

1120
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 7: Have you seen like the male flower girls who come in.

1121
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:07,360
Speaker 6: With like nope, money.

1122
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 8: Yeah, well they yeah, but they also like have roller

1123
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 8: skates on and they're like dislike.

1124
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 2: Oh that's fun. Yeah, just totally upstage her.

1125
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 7: Yeah, do it, do it?

1126
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 2: Do it?

1127
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 6: Why not?

1128
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 8: You said I could be a flower girl. You didn't

1129
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,439
Speaker 8: say how to be a flower girl?

1130
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1131
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:21,280
Speaker 2: Checks on you. Yikes.

1132
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 6: And I've finished by saying that when and if how

1133
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 6: that conversation happens will not impact my eagerness to celebrate

1134
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 6: and support her, and send it over a list of

1135
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,919
Speaker 6: twenty two other things I offered to do instead. Clean

1136
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 6: her house on her honeymoon so they can come home

1137
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 6: to it nice, covering, delivering meals for the first three

1138
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,319
Speaker 6: nights home after the honeymoon. Sanction off part of our

1139
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 6: spare room as wedding storage so that she doesn't have

1140
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:48,319
Speaker 6: to live with all the stuff that accumulates. Reserve our

1141
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 6: guest bedroom for the weekend in case somebody they love

1142
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 6: is able to come last second but isn't able to

1143
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 6: find any accommodations, et cetera. I've got a little bit

1144
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 6: left here. I never thought about giving up some of

1145
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:06,360
Speaker 6: your space for wedding storage. That's really sweet. We're cleaning

1146
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:07,880
Speaker 6: someone's house when they go on a honeymoon.

1147
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 2: I didn't think about that.

1148
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 6: That's nice when I get married. Yeah, could you clean

1149
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 6: my house?

1150
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:18,959
Speaker 2: I'll pay for someone to come and clean your house,

1151
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 2: all right, that's fine. I could probably clean it myself.

1152
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 2: It's not that depends on how big the house is.

1153
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 2: Ten bedrooms, ten bedrooms, you're living in a mansion. I'm

1154
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 2: gonna have kids, dang man, how many kids? Nine?

1155
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:37,879
Speaker 6: I don't know, geez six, geez probably four?

1156
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 2: Probably four?

1157
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:44,240
Speaker 6: Adopt a few, pick some up off the road. Now,

1158
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 6: he don't care your mine you're making now. Yeah, you

1159
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 6: can do that. You can do that if you got

1160
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 6: good milk. Huh remember that story? Yeah?

1161
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 2: That was crazy?

1162
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 6: Which story we missed it?

1163
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,360
Speaker 2: You missed it. You don't even want to know.

1164
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 7: You don't want What about mellow? I'm lactose in tolerance?

1165
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 6: Oh man, so Opie continues. She hasn't responded yet, but

1166
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 6: she has told literally everyone we know, who are all

1167
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 6: now calling me to explain why I won't do this

1168
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 6: one simple thing for her, My gut tells me I

1169
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 6: made the right choice for my family and our future,

1170
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:22,440
Speaker 6: at least in being kind but honest. But there's the

1171
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 6: hope that things will get better. But now I feel

1172
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 6: like in a whole saying it feels performative. And I

1173
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 6: told her that months ago, over and over again. So

1174
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 6: I'm asking once more, is this a me thing? Will

1175
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,399
Speaker 6: just ruin her wedding? Should I just deal with it

1176
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:40,640
Speaker 6: and make nice and do it and then my partner

1177
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 6: and I can distance ourselves after all this is over.

1178
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:44,839
Speaker 6: Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

1179
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, if it ruins her wedding, then that's

1180
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 2: her fault because she disrespected her sisters.

1181
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, and it's not gonna be your wedding because she's

1182
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 6: gonna be around, pray for all exactly, and she's gonna

1183
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 6: have a good time.

1184
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just worried about optics. That's the only reason

1185
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 2: she wants you to come. Yeah.

1186
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 3: Bye, bye.

1187
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 2: Wait, we got another story coming up though, and I

1188
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:05,640
Speaker 2: need to run to the bathroom.

1189
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 6: Bye.

1190
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:10,920
Speaker 2: My sister thinks my fiance purposely excluded her from my proposal.

1191
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 3: Hell dare he? I?

1192
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 2: Thirty six female, am now engaged to my fiance, thirty

1193
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,839
Speaker 2: three male. He proposed to me at our friend's Fourth

1194
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 2: of July party over this past weekend. He told the friend,

1195
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 2: you owned the property for obvious reasons, but was too

1196
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,960
Speaker 2: focused on making sure it went right to tell literally

1197
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,319
Speaker 2: anyone else until right before, just to make sure someone

1198
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 2: recorded it.

1199
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 6: It's a lot of pressure.

1200
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. By the way, this comes from Lemon bark Art,

1201
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 2: And if you want to smit your own stories, go

1202
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,280
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia,

1203
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 2: I'm Riley, and I'm Keon, and we'll try to give

1204
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,920
Speaker 2: our best advice. But we haven't experienced most of these

1205
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 2: situations ourselves, so if you have, let us know what

1206
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 2: you would do. In the comments. But Op says he

1207
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,479
Speaker 2: said he had mentioned it a little to my brother

1208
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 2: in law thirty five mail at a family get together

1209
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 2: a few months prior, and figured my brother in law

1210
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 2: would tell his wife, Mysa, her thirty two female. He

1211
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 2: didn't want to say too much to anyone, as he

1212
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 2: didn't want to risk anyone acting weird and ruining the surprise.

1213
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:11,280
Speaker 6: Bear It's supposed to be a surprise for about everybody.

1214
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 2: My parents, my mom's especially is terrible at keeping surprises,

1215
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 2: so I don't know if my like a partner I

1216
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 2: was about to get married to that was trying to

1217
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 2: propose to me. I mean, they would have to tell her,

1218
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:25,439
Speaker 2: but she would be really awful, like she's never kept

1219
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:26,440
Speaker 2: a surprise from us.

1220
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 6: Here we go. This is what happens. Yeah, you ready,

1221
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 6: he asked for your hand where you live? Yeah, and

1222
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 6: then you have your phone off while you're hanging out

1223
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 6: with your friends or he dies. And then right after

1224
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 6: he asked for your hand, he directly come over to

1225
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 6: where you are and then makes it happen so like

1226
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 6: within the span of an hour.

1227
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: Oh oh okay. So he's like, hey, just heads up,

1228
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 2: like he could tell my dad, my mom just is terrible.

1229
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 6: Is great, I gotta run, I gotta.

1230
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 2: Go and lay traffic is terrible.

1231
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then whoever's around you just be like the

1232
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 6: eagle out of the nest. Repeat the eagles out of

1233
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 6: the nest.

1234
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 2: Mama bird, Nos, mama bird, Nos, go go, go go.

1235
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 2: He proposed out on our friend's property near the edge

1236
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,520
Speaker 2: of the woods. Some people had already gone inside the

1237
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 2: house to chill, but when they heard about it, they

1238
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 2: came right out to find me and congratulate us. My

1239
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 2: brother in law was one of these people, and as

1240
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 2: he apparently hadn't been paying any attention at the get together,

1241
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 2: I hadn't seen my sister come out, so I went

1242
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 2: to find her, assuming she hadn't heard yet. I went

1243
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 2: to show her the ring and tell her he proposed,

1244
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 2: but she glared at me and said, I now I heard.

1245
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 2: He never even told me he was doing it, so

1246
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 2: I missed the whole thing. Real great effing guy, you

1247
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 2: got there. She gave me an aggressive why wait, she

1248
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 2: gave me an aggressive and sarcastic double thumbs up before

1249
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 2: walking with so she went, real greid guy, you've got there.

1250
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 2: It's so crazy, and then she walked away. That is cringe.

1251
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 2: You could have at least done the finger guns. Real

1252
00:58:57,800 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 2: great guy, you got there.

1253
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:04,880
Speaker 8: Regressively, like like like, she goes, real good guy, you've

1254
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 8: got there.

1255
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,560
Speaker 6: This is so new girl?

1256
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 2: Yeah what new girl?

1257
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 6: Something? That girl would do? What's her name, Becky cc No,

1258
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 6: Jess would definitely.

1259
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, wait you think that she would? Oh, when she's mad,

1260
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 2: she goes, she would do that. I don't think she

1261
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 2: would get mad over this, but I think she would

1262
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:25,080
Speaker 2: do that if she were mad.

1263
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 6: If Schmid then can tell her she's proposing to.

1264
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 2: Sec Yeah, come on, now, be pretty messed up. Yeah,

1265
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 2: I think many of my like, yeah, I can think

1266
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 2: of a person who if they didn't tell me that

1267
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 2: they were proposing to the other person, I'd be like,

1268
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 2: how dare you? We all know who these people are.

1269
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 6: Okay, great, I know who they are now.

1270
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:51,160
Speaker 2: Anyway, she gave me an just had a whole full

1271
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 2: whisper conversation for the audio listeners. She gave me an

1272
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:00,120
Speaker 2: aggressive and sarcastic double thumbs up before walking away, and

1273
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 2: about an hour later she left the party completely. We've

1274
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 2: never been all that close, like night and day, so

1275
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 2: I didn't think she'd care so much about it, but

1276
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 2: she seemed to want to make it about herself instead

1277
01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 2: of being happy for her older sister. Like I said,

1278
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,920
Speaker 2: my fiance told all of two people, and only the

1279
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 2: property owner knew when during the party he was doing it.

1280
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 2: That's funny, Like, wait, is this an engagement party? I

1281
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 2: told my fiance that I probably wasn't going to say

1282
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,919
Speaker 2: anything to her about it, and if she didn't apologize

1283
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 2: or even congratulate us by the time we set up invitations,

1284
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 2: I was considering not even inviting her. Seems she already

1285
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 2: made it clear she doesn't care. Would I be the

1286
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 2: a hole? And there is an update?

1287
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam og host, we get it back to

1288
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 1: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

1289
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 1: our sponsors to help support the show.

1290
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 2: Let's pause on the not inviting her because she doesn't

1291
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 2: even care. She's hurt. Let's go have a conversation with her. Yeah,

1292
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 2: that's the first she's her. She's clearly hurt that she

1293
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:05,000
Speaker 2: wasn't involved because she cares about you and wanted to

1294
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 2: be involved on this very big event. So just have

1295
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:11,160
Speaker 2: a conversation and be like, I'm sorry. You know, I

1296
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 2: don't think he wanted to keep it a secret. It

1297
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 2: wasn't meant to hurt you. I would still very much

1298
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 2: love for you to be involved.

1299
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:17,240
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

1300
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,439
Speaker 2: I wanted you to be a part of the bridle part.

1301
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 2: Like if that's true. Yeah, but let's have the conversation

1302
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 2: before we you know, jump the gun.

1303
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:29,280
Speaker 6: Yeah absolutely, And I'm thinking if we take out the proposal, Yeah,

1304
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 6: what's the real issue your sister has with UP?

1305
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 2: I feel like she just feels left out.

1306
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, out of the loop.

1307
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:39,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's hurt. Like, let's let's talk about it. It

1308
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 2: sucks that you have to be the one who kind

1309
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 2: of fixes things, but yeah, you're left.

1310
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 6: With it and not congrats. If you feel hurt or

1311
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 6: something by something, I feel like you should I don't know,

1312
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 6: talk to him in a talk it over over coffee.

1313
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go get a little coffee. I had a

1314
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 2: really nice chai this morning.

1315
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:56,520
Speaker 6: I had a chai.

1316
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, little ice chy.

1317
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 6: I'm now freaking out over my proposal because I know

1318
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 6: where it's gonna happen, when it's gonna happen.

1319
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 2: But it's when it's gonna happen when.

1320
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 6: But I know where it's gonna where it's gonna happen,

1321
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 6: and what day it would happen on, not what year,

1322
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 6: not what year, And I'm kind of like freaking out.

1323
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 6: Yea's a lot of it's a lot of things to

1324
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 6: put together. Yeah, someone's gonna have to be in a

1325
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:19,000
Speaker 6: gilly suit.

1326
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't want to propose to my partner, not

1327
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 2: because I I like I think gender roles wise, I'm like, yeah,

1328
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:29,120
Speaker 2: I could totally do that. However, the issue here is

1329
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 2: that I need them. I just need that double confirmation,

1330
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 2: you know, I just need like they're really into me.

1331
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 2: I need that confirmation.

1332
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,000
Speaker 7: Is he into me?

1333
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 2: Yeah? I couldn't. I don't know.

1334
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 7: He says he wants to marry me. Yes, you know

1335
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 7: he got I don't know.

1336
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 2: I'm not my parents.

1337
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 7: I don't think to me that much. We've been together

1338
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 7: for like ten years.

1339
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,440
Speaker 2: But maybe maybe he's just waiting.

1340
01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:52,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, maybe he' playing the long game. Maybe he's just

1341
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:53,440
Speaker 7: ready to dump me.

1342
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 2: But there are some comments common want says, talk to

1343
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 2: her about how her reaction made you feel. If she

1344
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 2: does apologize or even explain how or why she had

1345
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 2: that reaction, invite her, but only as a guest. If

1346
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 2: she escalates or makes it like you were the bad

1347
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 2: guy for excluding her from the proposal, on invite her

1348
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:16,040
Speaker 2: and all her enablers. Ope, thing is, I don't think

1349
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:18,240
Speaker 2: she has any enablers. Found out that she made it

1350
01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 2: up in her head that he told everyone for her

1351
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:22,760
Speaker 2: and specifically waited for her to go inside so she

1352
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 2: would miss the entire thing. I am floored and confused.

1353
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 2: Af Even our mom said to just not talk to

1354
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 2: her about it because we all know she's just gonna

1355
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:35,160
Speaker 2: call us liars because she's convinced herself that it was

1356
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:38,200
Speaker 2: all out of spite. And reply says, is there something

1357
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 2: going on in her life outside of your recent engagement

1358
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 2: that she feels like you and everyone else are out

1359
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:45,920
Speaker 2: to get her. Ohpi says she and her husband are

1360
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:50,520
Speaker 2: currently separated, attempting marriage counseling, but bordering on divorce. I

1361
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,400
Speaker 2: don't know how that would make her feel like everyone

1362
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:54,720
Speaker 2: is out to get her, though we've all been supportive

1363
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 2: of her despite knowing she's part of the problem as

1364
01:03:57,200 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 2: well in the marriage. She's extremely monotone and has RBF,

1365
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,640
Speaker 2: but her husband is really trying to make it work.

1366
01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 2: He'd been unmedicated for something that was causing issues as well,

1367
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:10,680
Speaker 2: and now that he's been seeking help, he's not missed

1368
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:14,600
Speaker 2: a single appointment. Oh sick nice. I can understand the divorce,

1369
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 2: but I feel like she's drawing it out for some reason,

1370
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:19,440
Speaker 2: as it's clear she's just done with him. I've told

1371
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:22,040
Speaker 2: her that if she's really done, that she'd be better

1372
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:23,960
Speaker 2: off to just rip the band aid off so she

1373
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,200
Speaker 2: can live her own life instead of letting this drag

1374
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 2: on with it all the stress it's putting on her.

1375
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 2: But if she truly wants to make it work with him,

1376
01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 2: she's got to quit pulling away and actually do something

1377
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:35,880
Speaker 2: about it. It's been over a year now that they

1378
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 2: haven't even lived together. Maybe she's mad that he proposed

1379
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 2: while she's gone through a potential divorce. But that's just

1380
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:44,120
Speaker 2: not fair. We've been together for four and a half years.

1381
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 2: Was he supposed to wait till she figured out what

1382
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:48,720
Speaker 2: she was going to do? Even if he waited till

1383
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 2: after divorce, I'm pretty sure she'd accuse him of doing

1384
01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 2: it to Spider even more, I don't know.

1385
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:57,160
Speaker 6: So this just confirms Yeah, she's in her own little

1386
01:04:57,160 --> 01:05:00,160
Speaker 6: world and you're a part of it, and something happened

1387
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:03,400
Speaker 6: without her, you know, controlling it or something.

1388
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:06,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, well she's blaming you know, the other stuff that

1389
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 2: she's got going on on you.

1390
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, weird.

1391
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 2: It's not your faults.

1392
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:12,440
Speaker 6: What are you supposed to do?

1393
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:17,480
Speaker 2: Hey, your husband's divorce in you is.

1394
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:19,800
Speaker 6: Supposed to go around like, hey you got got that

1395
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:21,240
Speaker 6: divorce paper sign yet?

1396
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:21,560
Speaker 2: You guys?

1397
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,280
Speaker 6: Guy's done yet? Okay, I'm gonna go propose real quick.

1398
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 6: Run that by you. What come on?

1399
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:30,880
Speaker 2: But there is an update. I still think talk to

1400
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:31,680
Speaker 2: your sister.

1401
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, clear air.

1402
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:34,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, even though I think even though your mom's like,

1403
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:37,560
Speaker 2: I don't, don't talk to her, she's just gotta say

1404
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:40,959
Speaker 2: you're a liar. I think try. Yeah, just so gives

1405
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 2: you kind of a little bit more clarity on the situation,

1406
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 2: and then you can be like, well, you know what,

1407
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:48,920
Speaker 2: she still refuses to acknowledge it. Don't want her in

1408
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 2: the bridal party, or I don't want her at the wedding.

1409
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 6: You could maybe mend something here. Yeah, there's a possibility,

1410
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 6: Flower girl, Flower girl.

1411
01:05:57,640 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 2: I talked to my mom when I visited to show

1412
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 2: her the ring on this past weekend. She knew what

1413
01:06:01,440 --> 01:06:03,480
Speaker 2: I was talking about as soon as I mentioned my

1414
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:05,920
Speaker 2: sister and said that she had already talked to her.

1415
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,200
Speaker 2: I asked to know the other side because I was

1416
01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:11,920
Speaker 2: extremely confused. It turns out that my sister somehow decided

1417
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 2: my fiance had told literally everyone except her, and that

1418
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:18,240
Speaker 2: he had specifically waited for her to go inside of

1419
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:21,600
Speaker 2: the house before proposing, as if he purposely made sure

1420
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:23,120
Speaker 2: that she missed it entirely.

1421
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 6: Ah nice.

1422
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:26,760
Speaker 2: Even after our mom tried to tell her that he

1423
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:29,760
Speaker 2: wouldn't do something like that, she refused to listen. She

1424
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:32,040
Speaker 2: claimed that someone at the party told her he had

1425
01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 2: told everyone about it, but more likely someone told her

1426
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 2: he didn't tell anybody, and she mishurt. I even asked

1427
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,560
Speaker 2: her mom why if he had told literally everyone except her.

1428
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 2: There were hardly any people outside to watch. Every person

1429
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:47,800
Speaker 2: that came outside to congratulate us after they heard excitedly

1430
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 2: exclaiming they wish they had known so that they could

1431
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 2: have seen it. I mentioned that I didn't feel like

1432
01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:54,800
Speaker 2: I should have to apologize, and our mom said that

1433
01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:57,480
Speaker 2: I didn't have a reason to because I didn't do anything,

1434
01:06:57,680 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 2: and neither did my fiance, because she knew he was

1435
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:03,320
Speaker 2: so nervous about it that it was all he focused on. Oh,

1436
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:05,800
Speaker 2: he told the owner of the property before the party

1437
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:08,360
Speaker 2: and the person who took the video literally ten minutes

1438
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 2: before I got down to where it was going to happen.

1439
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:12,920
Speaker 2: She actually told me to just leave it alone because

1440
01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:16,200
Speaker 2: no matter what anyone says, my sister won't believe them.

1441
01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:19,800
Speaker 2: She refused to believe even our mom. Oh So, in

1442
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:21,840
Speaker 2: the end, it was suggested that when the day comes,

1443
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,320
Speaker 2: if she's still acting like this, to still send her

1444
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:26,480
Speaker 2: an invitation and let her do what she wants with it.

1445
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:29,000
Speaker 2: She just won't have anything to do with my wedding party,

1446
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:30,919
Speaker 2: even if she does get her red out of her butt.

1447
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:35,400
Speaker 2: And there is a second update. Dang man, she is

1448
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 2: causing trouble.

1449
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 6: She really is low key. You need one person to

1450
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 6: cause trouble per wedding.

1451
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:44,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, just keep it interesting. Yeah.

1452
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:48,160
Speaker 6: And if this is the troublemaker for the wedding, it's

1453
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:49,200
Speaker 6: not that much to deal with.

1454
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:51,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, easy trouble maker.

1455
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,800
Speaker 6: I would take this one nine out of ten weddings.

1456
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:57,040
Speaker 2: I think that if you can either have like a

1457
01:07:57,080 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 2: really really fun wedding where you know, there's great food

1458
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:03,360
Speaker 2: and like everyone's dancing, or you can have an interesting.

1459
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:06,960
Speaker 8: Wedding everyone's having food and everyone's dancing, there's a lot

1460
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,040
Speaker 8: more drama and.

1461
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,120
Speaker 2: A lot of drama.

1462
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:11,320
Speaker 6: Dude, I'm freaking out over my proposal right now.

1463
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,920
Speaker 2: My heart's you got time.

1464
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,760
Speaker 7: Well, how did your brother do it?

1465
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:17,720
Speaker 2: Dude? It was a nice ring?

1466
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:20,400
Speaker 6: It was yeah, it was a nice impressed.

1467
01:08:20,439 --> 01:08:21,280
Speaker 2: I was impressed.

1468
01:08:21,439 --> 01:08:24,400
Speaker 6: He actually he actually did the proposal I would have

1469
01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:27,120
Speaker 6: done if I lived in Tennessee. Took her to Cherokee Dam,

1470
01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:31,719
Speaker 6: went down by the river and boom popped it out.

1471
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:34,120
Speaker 8: And she's trying fish it out of the river and

1472
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:38,439
Speaker 8: be like, oh, it's so funny.

1473
01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:43,320
Speaker 2: I want now I'm thinking i want like Sniegel type proposal, like.

1474
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:49,280
Speaker 8: Things you break it out of the water, bite his

1475
01:08:49,360 --> 01:08:51,080
Speaker 8: finger off, and be like, oh it fits.

1476
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:53,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh it's perfect.

1477
01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,560
Speaker 6: That could definitely work. I'll bring up some pictures.

1478
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:58,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there's an update. Well you do that.

1479
01:08:59,200 --> 01:08:59,800
Speaker 4: Yay.

1480
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:03,240
Speaker 2: Hey, Y'allso a bit of another update since July, which

1481
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:06,719
Speaker 2: again involved my younger sister. Yeah, she is still basically

1482
01:09:06,720 --> 01:09:10,000
Speaker 2: ignoring both me and my fiance even six months later.

1483
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:13,280
Speaker 2: I found out Christmas morning that I'm pregnant, which me

1484
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:15,639
Speaker 2: and my fiance had been trying for almost a year

1485
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:18,599
Speaker 2: before we had to stop for nearly nine months due

1486
01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:20,760
Speaker 2: to a medical issue. I know it doesn't seem like

1487
01:09:20,800 --> 01:09:23,240
Speaker 2: that long, but it would have been way longer if

1488
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 2: they hadn't found the cancer cells early and removed them

1489
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:28,880
Speaker 2: all over the last nine months. I got pregnant within

1490
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:30,920
Speaker 2: the very first few months after we got the green

1491
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:34,479
Speaker 2: light to start trying again after the surgeries. Anyway, I

1492
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:36,560
Speaker 2: know you're supposed to hold off telling people until the

1493
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:39,240
Speaker 2: first appointment, but it was Christmas and I've been waiting

1494
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:41,760
Speaker 2: far too long to say nothing. I made sure that

1495
01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:46,240
Speaker 2: everyone was in the room, including my youngest sister. It's like,

1496
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:50,160
Speaker 2: everyone's here, whatever her name is, sister, sister, you're here

1497
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,040
Speaker 2: because we're about to do an announcement.

1498
01:09:53,479 --> 01:09:55,439
Speaker 6: I need everyone to listen up.

1499
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:57,240
Speaker 2: And then you have everyone signed something that says this

1500
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:59,000
Speaker 2: is the first time I've ever heard this information.

1501
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, I need did every single one of you to

1502
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:02,920
Speaker 6: hear what I'm about to say.

1503
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:06,080
Speaker 2: Get off your phone, Uncle Joe. This means my mother,

1504
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:10,040
Speaker 2: my stepdad, both sisters, their husbands, my fiance, and my

1505
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:12,640
Speaker 2: two nephews. I gave our mom a card because she

1506
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:15,040
Speaker 2: loves to read them out loud from her girls, and wrote,

1507
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,519
Speaker 2: It's time to spread the love just a little more

1508
01:10:17,520 --> 01:10:19,639
Speaker 2: next year. I hope to see you in nine months.

1509
01:10:19,880 --> 01:10:22,799
Speaker 2: Both my mom and my middle sister jumped up, hugged

1510
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:24,880
Speaker 2: me and congratulated me, and.

1511
01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:27,840
Speaker 6: Your oldest sister stood up slapped you in the face, said, how.

1512
01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 2: Dare you come to find out my youngest sister was

1513
01:10:31,439 --> 01:10:34,760
Speaker 2: too involved in her phone. I got it to hear

1514
01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:37,960
Speaker 2: literally anything that had happened. That's ridiculous. See this is

1515
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,320
Speaker 2: why I literally just said, put your phone down. You

1516
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:43,760
Speaker 2: should make sure everyone had their phone down. When her

1517
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:45,720
Speaker 2: husband nodded at me and asked me to show her

1518
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 2: the picture positive pregnancy test because she hadn't heard it

1519
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:53,599
Speaker 2: at all, I did. Her response was an extremely dry congratulations,

1520
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:57,519
Speaker 2: with no movement to get up, no excitement, nothing.

1521
01:10:57,720 --> 01:10:59,280
Speaker 6: Dang, it looks like you have one sister.

1522
01:10:59,400 --> 01:11:02,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looks like you lost your sister. Even my

1523
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:05,200
Speaker 2: nephews went slack Jawn and hugged me excited for a

1524
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:07,960
Speaker 2: baby cousin. At this point, me and my fiance are

1525
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 2: pretty positive that she just doesn't like the fact that

1526
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:13,400
Speaker 2: we're happy and doing things she's not getting to do

1527
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:16,840
Speaker 2: due to her impending divorce, which still hasn't happened. By

1528
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 2: the way, I didn't think she ever wanted kids, but

1529
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:21,200
Speaker 2: I heard last year that she and her husband were

1530
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:24,599
Speaker 2: thinking about trying. Obviously not going to be the case anymore.

1531
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:26,400
Speaker 2: And it looks like she's trying to take it out

1532
01:11:26,439 --> 01:11:29,080
Speaker 2: on me. And I'll tell you this, if she tries

1533
01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:31,519
Speaker 2: to take it out on my child, heck will break

1534
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:34,360
Speaker 2: loose and nobody will be able to stop me. I'm

1535
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:36,840
Speaker 2: sure I'll have another update. Can only hope it won't

1536
01:11:36,840 --> 01:11:39,160
Speaker 2: be in the next nine months, unless anyone is interested

1537
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:42,720
Speaker 2: in one before then. And that's the end of the story. Yay,

1538
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:43,559
Speaker 2: who's ah?

1539
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:45,719
Speaker 3: Love love that ah?

1540
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:48,679
Speaker 2: That's cute, lovely picture that's them.

1541
01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:51,840
Speaker 8: Man, how tall is your brother compared to taller than Riley,

1542
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:54,360
Speaker 8: I know, but like the fact that he's on his

1543
01:11:54,479 --> 01:11:58,120
Speaker 8: knee and literally her hyghud a little bit. Look, I mean,

1544
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:00,960
Speaker 8: look at look at a photo. She's barely she's bending

1545
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:02,800
Speaker 8: on a little bit. But she's like barely bending. Now

1546
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:03,559
Speaker 8: that's crazy.

1547
01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:08,599
Speaker 6: Yeah, but at six eight.

1548
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:12,639
Speaker 2: I'm the run of the Yeah, you're little rally for now.

1549
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:17,240
Speaker 6: But yeah, that I don't know. Just it seems like

1550
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:21,360
Speaker 6: your sister is uninterested in your life and information diet.

1551
01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:23,439
Speaker 6: I don't think it really matters part of it anymore.

1552
01:12:23,479 --> 01:12:25,320
Speaker 2: Does she even need to know about all these things

1553
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:27,040
Speaker 2: that are happening because she doesn't seem to want to

1554
01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:27,599
Speaker 2: know about them.

1555
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:30,360
Speaker 6: And if she gets upset because she doesn't know about.

1556
01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:35,160
Speaker 2: It, oh well memo. But uh, that's the end of

1557
01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 2: that story, folks.

1558
01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:38,240
Speaker 6: My sister is ruining her life.

1559
01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:39,160
Speaker 2: Stop it.

1560
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:42,800
Speaker 6: I twenty seven male, needs some unbiased advice on my

1561
01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:45,960
Speaker 6: current situation with my sister twenty three female, who I'll

1562
01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:47,960
Speaker 6: call Ray right, And I grew up in a rigid

1563
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:51,040
Speaker 6: household with my father, a cop who's barely around, and

1564
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:54,519
Speaker 6: my mother, a teacher aid who was emotionally absent and

1565
01:12:54,560 --> 01:12:57,840
Speaker 6: displays self absorbed tendencies with our parents.

1566
01:12:57,520 --> 01:12:58,040
Speaker 2: Gone a lot.

1567
01:12:58,160 --> 01:13:00,840
Speaker 6: I was told you are your sister to protect her

1568
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:04,000
Speaker 6: by my dad, which stuck with me from a young age.

1569
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:06,840
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from self awareness hurts and

1570
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:08,080
Speaker 6: if you were to smit your own stories, go to

1571
01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:10,360
Speaker 6: the r slash okay story. So I'm Subert at where

1572
01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:12,680
Speaker 6: this one was submitted to. This is one of our

1573
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:16,880
Speaker 6: own fans. Oo, and my name is Riley, I'm Sophia.

1574
01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:19,960
Speaker 7: And I'm Keon and it's a good clap. I'm sorry

1575
01:13:20,040 --> 01:13:20,760
Speaker 7: that was very loud.

1576
01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:23,200
Speaker 6: We'll try to give our best advice, but we haven't

1577
01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:26,280
Speaker 6: experienced most of these situations ourselves, so if you have,

1578
01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:28,839
Speaker 6: let us know your take in the comments. OHP continues

1579
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:31,760
Speaker 6: twenty sixteen. I joined the Marines at eighteen, straight out

1580
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:34,000
Speaker 6: of high school. I missed all four years of my

1581
01:13:34,080 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 6: sister's high school, so she was on her own without

1582
01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:40,360
Speaker 6: me at home. We still talked, but with deployments our

1583
01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:43,519
Speaker 6: communication was spotty. When I came home after those four years,

1584
01:13:43,560 --> 01:13:46,640
Speaker 6: I noticed a rift starting between us. She wanted to

1585
01:13:46,640 --> 01:13:49,880
Speaker 6: follow my footsteps and join the Marines, asking me for

1586
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:53,680
Speaker 6: advice about job choices. The jobs she wanted weren't available,

1587
01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:56,280
Speaker 6: so I suggested she waited till the next cycle to

1588
01:13:56,320 --> 01:13:58,880
Speaker 6: get what she wanted. She immediately got mad at me

1589
01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:02,519
Speaker 6: for suggesting she'd wait and didn't like my advice, so

1590
01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:05,439
Speaker 6: she went ahead and chose a job she didn't really want.

1591
01:14:05,560 --> 01:14:09,000
Speaker 6: This was an example of her being impulsive and getting

1592
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:10,080
Speaker 6: mad at advice.

1593
01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:12,200
Speaker 2: Tomma gave her wait since she just got this job,

1594
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:13,880
Speaker 2: because she was like, well, I don't want to listen

1595
01:14:13,880 --> 01:14:14,880
Speaker 2: to you she.

1596
01:14:15,479 --> 01:14:19,080
Speaker 6: Could yeah, yeah, that's ridiculous. Fast forward four years to

1597
01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:22,000
Speaker 6: present day. I've been focusing on becoming a teacher through

1598
01:14:22,040 --> 01:14:25,400
Speaker 6: my GI bill and planning my wedding to my high

1599
01:14:25,400 --> 01:14:28,200
Speaker 6: school sweetheart. My sister gets out of the Marine Corps

1600
01:14:28,280 --> 01:14:31,639
Speaker 6: and comes home. Important background. She started dating another marine

1601
01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:34,439
Speaker 6: from her hometown right before she left. I expressed to

1602
01:14:34,560 --> 01:14:36,600
Speaker 6: her that it was a bad idea to start to

1603
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,639
Speaker 6: date someone right before leaving. She said, I did it too,

1604
01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:42,400
Speaker 6: So what's the difference. I try to explain that my

1605
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:44,920
Speaker 6: now fiance and I had been together for three years

1606
01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:47,880
Speaker 6: before I left, while her boyfriend and she had only

1607
01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:51,600
Speaker 6: been together for a month, so there wasn't a strong foundation.

1608
01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:54,880
Speaker 6: That was all I said. They got stationed to different

1609
01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:57,720
Speaker 6: bases while she was there, she began posting pictures with

1610
01:14:57,760 --> 01:14:59,840
Speaker 6: a new guy from her base. I asked her about

1611
01:14:59,840 --> 01:15:02,000
Speaker 6: it and she brushed it off as just a friend.

1612
01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:04,120
Speaker 6: Within a week or two, she broke up with her

1613
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:06,920
Speaker 6: boyfriend and was dating the new guy. Twenty five Mel,

1614
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:10,680
Speaker 6: who I'll call Leo, seems like a good friend with benefits.

1615
01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:13,599
Speaker 6: It was weird to me, but I took her story

1616
01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:16,679
Speaker 6: that he liked her but waited till she was signed

1617
01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:19,519
Speaker 6: to pursue her. LEO and she came home once to

1618
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:21,840
Speaker 6: visit and we got to meet him. He seemed like

1619
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:24,519
Speaker 6: a nice, respectful guy. Back to present day, when my

1620
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:26,800
Speaker 6: sister arrives home, she decided to get out of the

1621
01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:29,400
Speaker 6: Marines because she didn't like her job and wanted to

1622
01:15:29,439 --> 01:15:33,680
Speaker 6: move on. Leo, however, reenlisted for another four years. This

1623
01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:36,000
Speaker 6: means there'll be a part. So I asked her what

1624
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:39,880
Speaker 6: their plan was. Just making conversation, she expressed that they

1625
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:42,800
Speaker 6: had desires to get married someday and begin a life together.

1626
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:45,120
Speaker 6: I was happy to hear this, but asked if Leo

1627
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:48,479
Speaker 6: had consulted her before making the decision to re up

1628
01:15:48,560 --> 01:15:52,040
Speaker 6: his contract. She said no, but he's always wanted to

1629
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:55,920
Speaker 6: do that since we met. I was puzzled because when

1630
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:59,000
Speaker 6: you try to plan a life with somebody, priorities change.

1631
01:15:59,439 --> 01:16:01,400
Speaker 6: In the first couple of months Ray was home, I

1632
01:16:01,479 --> 01:16:05,000
Speaker 6: noticed her mood would fluctuate depending on whether she and

1633
01:16:05,080 --> 01:16:06,479
Speaker 6: Leo were on good terms.

1634
01:16:08,960 --> 01:16:11,280
Speaker 2: I think the problem here is that, Op, he's an

1635
01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:14,160
Speaker 2: older brother, Yeah, trying to guide his little sister. Who

1636
01:16:14,240 --> 01:16:15,519
Speaker 2: didn't you know, they don't have a lot of like

1637
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:17,439
Speaker 2: parental guidance going on here.

1638
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:19,240
Speaker 6: And he was her soul protector.

1639
01:16:19,520 --> 01:16:21,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was still like he's still you know,

1640
01:16:21,760 --> 01:16:25,559
Speaker 2: pretty young as well, and uh, she just doesn't want

1641
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:27,519
Speaker 2: to listen to him, and she's not going to listen

1642
01:16:27,520 --> 01:16:31,600
Speaker 2: to you, unfortunately, no matter how hard you try and

1643
01:16:31,720 --> 01:16:34,080
Speaker 2: help her or you know, help her do what you

1644
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:36,360
Speaker 2: think is right, because she has to find, you know,

1645
01:16:36,439 --> 01:16:38,439
Speaker 2: she has to find her own way in life. She

1646
01:16:38,920 --> 01:16:40,839
Speaker 2: has to figure out things for herself.

1647
01:16:41,080 --> 01:16:44,439
Speaker 6: Exactly. They were in a fight one day. My sister

1648
01:16:44,520 --> 01:16:47,200
Speaker 6: came out into the living room screaming at everyone that

1649
01:16:47,240 --> 01:16:49,600
Speaker 6: she hates this house and needs to leave. This is

1650
01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:51,840
Speaker 6: out of the blue and our house isn't really that bad.

1651
01:16:51,920 --> 01:16:54,519
Speaker 6: Our parents don't make us pay rent and want us

1652
01:16:54,560 --> 01:16:57,200
Speaker 6: to get on her feet. She also used the financial

1653
01:16:57,240 --> 01:17:00,000
Speaker 6: help I received from my dad against me to discredit

1654
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:03,000
Speaker 6: me or make me seem like a failure compared to Leo.

1655
01:17:03,280 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 6: I began to notice code had been a behavior. My

1656
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:08,280
Speaker 6: sister would leave men dinner to talk to him, or

1657
01:17:08,479 --> 01:17:11,200
Speaker 6: cut you off mid conversation to answer his texts. I

1658
01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:15,200
Speaker 6: realized there was some obsession here. Leo began making demands

1659
01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:17,640
Speaker 6: of my sister, like you don't support me enough. She

1660
01:17:17,840 --> 01:17:20,960
Speaker 6: drove across the country multiple times to see him and

1661
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:24,599
Speaker 6: got to see his award ceremonies. You have been focusing

1662
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:28,040
Speaker 6: on yourself too much, and you're not being a go getter.

1663
01:17:28,200 --> 01:17:31,040
Speaker 6: I want to see you succeed. All these statements were

1664
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:34,679
Speaker 6: problematic and flawed. This is when the light bulb went off.

1665
01:17:34,840 --> 01:17:38,200
Speaker 6: My sister, Fortynth slipped into a conversation with me. She

1666
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:41,120
Speaker 6: said something along the lines of, yeah, when Leo and

1667
01:17:41,120 --> 01:17:44,760
Speaker 6: I started dating in month blank, and the month was

1668
01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:46,080
Speaker 6: when she was still with the Rex.

1669
01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that one was pretty obvious.

1670
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:51,679
Speaker 6: This small slip made me realize she may have cheated.

1671
01:17:52,040 --> 01:17:54,639
Speaker 6: My sister then quits her job, starts looking at schools

1672
01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:58,160
Speaker 6: in California, and has essentially put her life on hold

1673
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:01,120
Speaker 6: to plant it around this guy. Seeing this all unfold,

1674
01:18:01,240 --> 01:18:03,280
Speaker 6: I decided that it was time to talk to Ray

1675
01:18:03,439 --> 01:18:06,759
Speaker 6: about my observations over the last few months. I expressed

1676
01:18:06,840 --> 01:18:09,760
Speaker 6: that it seems like Leo caught up on his own

1677
01:18:09,800 --> 01:18:12,920
Speaker 6: life and hasn't been accommodating her thoughts and needs. She

1678
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:15,839
Speaker 6: just got mad at me and tried to explain that

1679
01:18:15,840 --> 01:18:19,439
Speaker 6: that's just how he is. He's driven. There's nothing wrong

1680
01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:22,000
Speaker 6: with that statement, except this guy was kicked out of

1681
01:18:22,040 --> 01:18:24,160
Speaker 6: his house at eighteen and joined the Marines because his

1682
01:18:24,240 --> 01:18:27,360
Speaker 6: parents called him a low life. He also doesn't have

1683
01:18:27,400 --> 01:18:31,160
Speaker 6: a driver's license and he's dependent on others to get

1684
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:34,320
Speaker 6: around and got a little bit left the story. What

1685
01:18:34,360 --> 01:18:35,200
Speaker 6: do we think of Leo here?

1686
01:18:35,240 --> 01:18:40,160
Speaker 2: Everybody? Huh? I Okay, so it was pretty obvious that

1687
01:18:40,200 --> 01:18:43,519
Speaker 2: she cheated on her boyfriend. Yep, and I think, honestly,

1688
01:18:43,520 --> 01:18:47,679
Speaker 2: OPI I think you can again. You can only give advice.

1689
01:18:47,960 --> 01:18:50,240
Speaker 2: You can't force her to make better life decisions.

1690
01:18:50,320 --> 01:18:52,519
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's the good old you can take a horse

1691
01:18:52,560 --> 01:18:54,599
Speaker 8: to water. Yeah, you can't force him to drink it.

1692
01:18:54,680 --> 01:18:55,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1693
01:18:55,360 --> 01:18:56,240
Speaker 7: I love saying it.

1694
01:18:56,320 --> 01:18:59,200
Speaker 8: I will die. I will be annoying with it all

1695
01:18:59,200 --> 01:18:59,519
Speaker 8: the time.

1696
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:00,000
Speaker 7: It's true.

1697
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:04,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, it's I think, especially when things come from

1698
01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:06,960
Speaker 2: your siblings. You get defensive about yeah, and.

1699
01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:09,000
Speaker 6: You had to it for a while, so it makes

1700
01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:11,960
Speaker 6: sense that you feel this kind of yah tug towards it.

1701
01:19:12,439 --> 01:19:13,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1702
01:19:13,120 --> 01:19:15,760
Speaker 6: So to finish it off here, I pleaded with Ray

1703
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:18,000
Speaker 6: that she needs to focus on her own life for

1704
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:21,200
Speaker 6: a little while and get herself established. She's looking to

1705
01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:23,920
Speaker 6: use her GI bill, but is willing to settle for

1706
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:26,679
Speaker 6: programs she doesn't want just to be closer to him.

1707
01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:30,040
Speaker 6: Her impulsive streak is continuing as she makes more and

1708
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:32,720
Speaker 6: more self harming decisions that will set her back in

1709
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:35,920
Speaker 6: order to chase this guy. Yes, she's in love with him,

1710
01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:38,160
Speaker 6: but at what point do I sit back and watch

1711
01:19:38,240 --> 01:19:41,280
Speaker 6: my sister choose all the wrong choices and to choose

1712
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:44,280
Speaker 6: your own adventure book. It's her life. Man's gonna she's

1713
01:19:44,320 --> 01:19:44,800
Speaker 6: gonna do that.

1714
01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:48,120
Speaker 2: She's got a it is her own. It is her Oh,

1715
01:19:48,200 --> 01:19:51,880
Speaker 2: choose her own adventure book. That's what life is. And

1716
01:19:51,960 --> 01:19:54,439
Speaker 2: you're gonna make She's gonna make the bad decisions or

1717
01:19:54,479 --> 01:19:56,400
Speaker 2: and decisions you don't agree with. Then you can't do

1718
01:19:56,640 --> 01:19:57,200
Speaker 2: much about it.

1719
01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:59,439
Speaker 6: I'm not the only person who feels this way and

1720
01:19:59,479 --> 01:20:02,759
Speaker 6: has notice these things myself. My fiance, her high school friends,

1721
01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:05,120
Speaker 6: and even our cousin, whom Ray is very close with,

1722
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:08,479
Speaker 6: have all noticed these red flags. I'm not sure where

1723
01:20:08,479 --> 01:20:10,160
Speaker 6: else to go. I'm worried that if I talk to

1724
01:20:10,200 --> 01:20:12,760
Speaker 6: her again, she'll shut down my advice and get mad

1725
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:14,599
Speaker 6: at me. My parents are too scared to get involved

1726
01:20:14,600 --> 01:20:17,040
Speaker 6: because they don't want to lose her. I'm a concern

1727
01:20:17,120 --> 01:20:20,040
Speaker 6: brother and need help. If you really think that this

1728
01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:24,400
Speaker 6: is a horrible, horrible idea and she shouldn't do it, intervention, yeah.

1729
01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:27,040
Speaker 2: I mean, like the most you could do is get

1730
01:20:27,040 --> 01:20:30,240
Speaker 2: her friends and family and stuff and like, hey, we're

1731
01:20:30,280 --> 01:20:33,080
Speaker 2: worried about this decision that you're making. But also she

1732
01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:34,240
Speaker 2: might feel ganged up upon.

1733
01:20:34,560 --> 01:20:37,680
Speaker 8: Yeah, and she probably will hit you with a I

1734
01:20:37,720 --> 01:20:39,880
Speaker 8: don't care, it's my life. Yeah, and you know what

1735
01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:42,439
Speaker 8: and yeah, and that's all you say. That's all you say.

1736
01:20:42,439 --> 01:20:43,799
Speaker 8: It's like, okay, that's the best.

1737
01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:45,000
Speaker 7: Thing, because you know you tried.

1738
01:20:45,200 --> 01:20:47,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, as long as you tried, and you know you

1739
01:20:47,040 --> 01:20:48,879
Speaker 8: put it out there like, hey, this is my advice,

1740
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:51,240
Speaker 8: do it, do it what you want.

1741
01:20:51,400 --> 01:20:53,400
Speaker 7: You can do whatever you want. That's my advice. I

1742
01:20:53,479 --> 01:20:53,960
Speaker 7: care for you.

1743
01:20:54,120 --> 01:20:56,559
Speaker 8: And if they literally just say okay, whatever, I'm gonna

1744
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:58,639
Speaker 8: do it, then you Oh well, yeah, it's literally.

1745
01:20:58,680 --> 01:21:01,759
Speaker 6: Oh well, I was in this situation back in college,

1746
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:04,000
Speaker 6: whereas with someone I shouldn't have been with, and everyone

1747
01:21:04,040 --> 01:21:05,040
Speaker 6: was like, you don't need to be with her, you

1748
01:21:05,040 --> 01:21:07,040
Speaker 6: don't need to be with her. I learned the hard way,

1749
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:10,400
Speaker 6: and then I finally got it through my thick skull

1750
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:12,680
Speaker 6: that this wasn't the right choice. She needs to learn

1751
01:21:12,720 --> 01:21:13,160
Speaker 6: the hard way.

1752
01:21:13,320 --> 01:21:15,600
Speaker 8: She will learn the hard way, and we don't. I

1753
01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:18,200
Speaker 8: know you don't want that, but that's the only way

1754
01:21:18,200 --> 01:21:20,639
Speaker 8: she's gonna learn. It's gonna suck, it's gotta hit, it's

1755
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:24,400
Speaker 8: gonna hit hard when she does come to that realization

1756
01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:27,120
Speaker 8: or hopefully sooner than later.

1757
01:21:27,240 --> 01:21:30,400
Speaker 7: But you did, You did what she had to do.

1758
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:31,400
Speaker 6: That's the right o' be.

1759
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:34,240
Speaker 2: But that's the end of this episode. So if you

1760
01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:37,080
Speaker 2: love us, make sure to subscribe We love You, and

1761
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:38,320
Speaker 2: see it tomorrow