Speaker 1: Cool Zone Media book Club, book Club, book Club, a
Speaker 1: couple of we'll like what about It's the Cool Zone
Speaker 1: Media book Club, and I am your host, Margaret Kiljoy.
Speaker 1: And this week, like we've been doing for the past
Speaker 1: several weeks, we've got a report from the future. That's right,
Speaker 1: we have a podcast sent to us from the year
Speaker 1: twenty fifty five from me, because guys still work for
Speaker 1: this show or a different show in twenty fifty five,
Speaker 1: and I sent a thing back in time to myself.
Speaker 1: Don't think too much about the time paradox part of it.
Speaker 1: The important thing is that it's another episode of Cool
Speaker 1: Zone twenty fifty five, How to Survive the dinoh War.
Speaker 1: Good morning and or evening, one and all, and welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of Cool Zone twenty fifty five How
Speaker 1: to Survive the Dino Wars. I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy,
Speaker 1: here to say, Hey, we're going to get through this.
Speaker 1: Maybe not as individuals, but none of us were going
Speaker 1: to survive being alive anyway, terminal condition being alive. This
Speaker 1: week on how to Survive, we're going to go over
Speaker 1: some of the threats we're facing and talk about some
Speaker 1: of the specific concrete actions we can take to counter
Speaker 1: those threats. It's going to be a good time. But
Speaker 1: first some headlines. The Canadian war took a turn for
Speaker 1: the better of this week. First Nations fighters and their
Speaker 1: allies announced on Tuesday that they have secured Vancouver Island.
Speaker 1: If you haven't seen the videos of troops storming the
Speaker 1: Doom Facility and the University of Vancouver in Victoria, you
Speaker 1: are missing out. Every one of those Nazi scientists surrendered
Speaker 1: and thousands of human and non human test subjects were released.
Speaker 1: This comes after months of bad news out of the
Speaker 1: western half of Canada. With the capture of Vancouver Island,
Speaker 1: it is only a matter of time before internationalist forces
Speaker 1: step onto the mainland again. Unfortunately, news out of Egypt
Speaker 1: is not as good. Islamist forces backed by the Aryan
Speaker 1: Empire and the New IDF have stormed the capital of Cairo,
Speaker 1: making heavy use of the Israeli government in Exile's favorite
Speaker 1: lab grown weapon of terror, the half sentient land jellies.
Speaker 1: This right wing alliance has ousted the democratically elected Council
Speaker 1: of Cairo and replaced it with a strong man. This
Speaker 1: marks the fifth reversal in the area in only two years.
Speaker 1: The Internationalist Forces defending the city was a coalition built
Speaker 1: from the anti Zionist New boond the pluralist Islamic group,
Speaker 1: the Brothers and Sisters Alliance, and of course the SDF.
Speaker 1: There is no word yet from the Internationalist Forces about
Speaker 1: the hopes of a counterattack, and protests within the city
Speaker 1: have been met by immediate violence. In other news, wildfire
Speaker 1: is ravaging much of the continental US, including rare East
Speaker 1: coast winter fires the recently coined Christmas fires that have
Speaker 1: been effected in the mid Atlantic in particular, Listeners are
Speaker 1: reminded to keep a weather alert radio running twenty four
Speaker 1: to seven if you live in one of the affected areas,
Speaker 1: keep a go bag packed and your car charged. The
Speaker 1: flooding through Central Africa has been particularly extreme this year.
Speaker 1: Climate change is of course drying the southern portion of
Speaker 1: the continent, while wettening is is that a word wettening
Speaker 1: I don't know, while making Central Africa substantially wetter. We'll
Speaker 1: have links in the show notes on how to support
Speaker 1: mutual aid efforts there. And finally, it would not be
Speaker 1: a cool Zone media podcast in World War three point
Speaker 1: five if we did not shout out our most generous
Speaker 1: sponsor Dino Cadence. Dinocadence is the world's fastest growing chain
Speaker 1: of dino rider academies, offering classes on everything from trick
Speaker 1: shots to Stegosaurus fire fighting. If there's not a Dinocadence
Speaker 1: academy in your area, then you yes, you listener. You
Speaker 1: can start one. Contact Dino Cadence and they'll get into
Speaker 1: instructures out to your area. Because we are all in
Speaker 1: this together, human and dinosaur, and together we're going to win.
Speaker 1: We just actually have to do it. You can't win
Speaker 1: this fight by avoiding it. Tuition is free, but spots
Speaker 1: are limited, so apply to Dino Cadence today. So the
Speaker 1: oldest military strategy book in existence is still one of
Speaker 1: the best, The Art of War by Sun Zoo. It
Speaker 1: was written during the Warring States period of Chinese history.
Speaker 1: It's mandatory reading still more than two thousand years later,
Speaker 1: for more or less anyone considering military strategy on every
Speaker 1: side of this conflict. The capitalists who did a good
Speaker 1: job of destroying the world used to read it for
Speaker 1: lessons in corporate warfare. The best and the worst people
Speaker 1: in the world read The Art of War. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to quote the whole thing at you. Though. It's
Speaker 1: not a very long text and you should read it,
Speaker 1: but there's a part that's particularly relevant what we're talking
Speaker 1: about today. Note that most translations, including the one I'm
Speaker 1: about to read, use the pronoun he throughout, but classical
Speaker 1: Chinese did not make use of gendered pronouns. Mandarin Chinese
Speaker 1: adopted gendered pronouns in the twentieth century after contact with
Speaker 1: Western languages. In case you wanted another reason to be
Speaker 1: mad at Romance languages, there you go. But that's unrelated.
Speaker 1: Here's a quote from the Art of War. We may
Speaker 1: know that there are five essentials for victory. One he
Speaker 1: will win who knows when to fight and when not
Speaker 1: to fight. Two he will win who knows how to
Speaker 1: handle both superior and inferior forces.
Speaker 2: Three he will.
Speaker 1: Win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout
Speaker 1: all its ranks. Four he will win who prepared himself
Speaker 1: waits to take the enemy unprepared. Five he will win
Speaker 1: who who has military capacity and is not interfered with
Speaker 1: by the sovereign. So those are the five main principles
Speaker 1: we're operating under. When we discuss how we're going to
Speaker 1: get through this. Know how to pick your battles, know
Speaker 1: how to adapt to the enemy, know how to maintain morale,
Speaker 1: know how to time your attacks, and celebrate our decentralized
Speaker 1: command structure. But the next section of the Art of
Speaker 1: war is even more specifically useful to what we're talking
Speaker 1: about today.
Speaker 2: Quote.
Speaker 1: If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need
Speaker 1: not fear the result of one hundred battles. If you
Speaker 1: know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained,
Speaker 1: you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither
Speaker 1: the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.
Speaker 1: So we must know the enemy and ourselves. That's easy.
Speaker 1: You might think we're the good guys in there, a
Speaker 1: bunch of evil Nazis. That's all I need to know. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
Speaker 1: That is what the enemy wants us to think. They
Speaker 1: want us thinking and purely black and white, because they
Speaker 1: want us ignorant. We need to know ourselves, our strengths
Speaker 1: and our weaknesses alike, and we need to know them
Speaker 1: their strengths and weaknesses alike. That means knowing how they tick.
Speaker 1: That means knowing what spirit animates their armies. There is
Speaker 1: a reason that mindcom the Principles of the Elders of
Speaker 1: Zion and the Turner Diaries and all those sorts of
Speaker 1: horrible texts are required reading in internationalist officer training programs.
Speaker 1: There's a reason that cool Zone media has been talking
Speaker 1: about how bad people think since the very start, also
Speaker 1: how reasonable people end up thinking bad things, and how
Speaker 1: we need to be aware of that and learn to
Speaker 1: distinguish between the two. The Art of War gets into
Speaker 1: way more about that, but I'm not going to get
Speaker 1: into it right now. I promise this isn't a purely
Speaker 1: art of war for the Dinoh war Atpiside. Oh, that
Speaker 1: would be fun. We should do it in an addition
Speaker 1: that just takes the art of war and adapts it
Speaker 1: to the Dino war. What do you think you should
Speaker 1: let us know on the various Internet things if you think.
Speaker 2: We should do that.
Speaker 1: So this week we're going to talk about the enemy forces,
Speaker 1: and in particular we're going to talk about the living
Speaker 1: weapons that they bring to the battlefield. But first we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about the goods and services that support
Speaker 1: this podcast. Are you tired of bonky bonnks that boink
Speaker 1: your big bonk? Do you wonder why you were issued
Speaker 1: a helmet and your bronto wasn't. Do you want to
Speaker 1: show your main reptile that you love them, then you
Speaker 1: need to talk to Big Boingos Ballistic anti boink Barting.
Speaker 2: Today.
Speaker 1: The bros and bro ettes at Big Boingos know everything
Speaker 1: about how to equip your steed with ceramic plating. They
Speaker 1: know how hard it is to build helmets for brontos,
Speaker 1: but they're not afraid to do it. If your bronto
Speaker 1: can't think, it can't fight, so guard that big boy
Speaker 1: or boyette and their brain. Today, this week and this
Speaker 1: week only, Big Boingos is offering a special deal for
Speaker 1: Cool Zone listeners. If you purchase a set of braided barting,
Speaker 1: they'll throw in one of their patented Bronchi brodals or free.
Speaker 1: That's right for free. Who's on media had slight reservations
Speaker 1: about accepting this ad. Big Boygos Ballistic anti Boinkbarting has
Speaker 1: been categorized by the Strategic Alliance Department of the Baltimore
Speaker 1: Commune as an opportunistic corporation whose loyalty to internationalism is
Speaker 1: currently in question. Ongoing investigations are looking into potential financial
Speaker 1: ties between Big Boingcos and an outfitter who serves the
Speaker 1: other side of this war called massive Maus Monstrous Monster munitions.
Speaker 1: Cool Zone Media would like to remind its listeners that
Speaker 1: it cynically takes money from advertisers in order to finance
Speaker 1: the production of anti fascist content and suggests listeners do
Speaker 1: their own research into the goods and services. It advertises
Speaker 1: that said big boingos dino armor has been field tested
Speaker 1: by people we trust. Their quality is good and their
Speaker 1: prices are competitive. Are you a millennial still in this war,
Speaker 1: figuring it's your generation that should have done a better
Speaker 1: job of stopping the rise of fascism worldwide? Are you
Speaker 1: a gen xer in uniform using your trademark cynicism to
Speaker 1: bolster a sort of nihilistic morale among your younger comrades.
Speaker 1: Are you a zoomer refusing to slow down? Maybe you
Speaker 1: are a proud member of the Gray Brigades, fighting alongside
Speaker 1: your not young peers in this desperate winner take all
Speaker 1: showdown between fascism and internationalism. If you are forty five
Speaker 1: years or older, you are more than welcome at this
Speaker 1: summer's Old Bastard's Ball in Belfast, United Ireland. Here is
Speaker 1: your chance to socialize with the other ancient warriors and
Speaker 1: to tell ancient war stories. Cool Zone Media's Maya Wong
Speaker 1: will be presenting the Wokies, the award for combat veterans
Speaker 1: old enough to have called things woke unironically for security reasons,
Speaker 1: all attendees must RSVP and a vouch system will be
Speaker 1: in place.
Speaker 2: And We're back.
Speaker 1: While climate change scientists in Helsinki were de extincting animals
Speaker 1: in the twenty forties, they were not the only people
Speaker 1: developing ex vitro genesis. In Toledo, Ohio, there was a
Speaker 1: pharmaceutical startup that was originally called the Crusader's Grail. Their
Speaker 1: odd name was part of that wave of counterculture, right
Speaker 1: wing Catholic converts that happened right before the Disconcordant. Mostly
Speaker 1: they made their money selling knockoff pharmaceuticals and infringing on
Speaker 1: other companies patents, which won them a lot of support
Speaker 1: during the era of the insurance Riots, But it soon
Speaker 1: became clear that they were adulterating their products with drugs
Speaker 1: that they hoped would quote reverse the homosexual and transsexuals
Speaker 1: of the US and make kids straight.
Speaker 2: Instead, it sort of made people lose their minds.
Speaker 1: It was bad, a whole bunch of behind the bassards
Speaker 1: episodes about them before we knew how real bad they
Speaker 1: were going to get. The FDA tried to shut them down,
Speaker 1: and there was that arms stand off at their compound,
Speaker 1: and it was a whole big deal. You probably remember it.
Speaker 1: If you don't remember the standoff, check out Molly Conger's
Speaker 1: twenty thirty six episode of Weird Little Guys titled make
Speaker 1: the Frogs Straight Again. And so the Crusader's Grail. They
Speaker 1: changed their name in their business model, but not their
Speaker 1: overall mission. The Crusader's Grail became Substantiation, which is of
Speaker 1: course trans substantiation the Catholic belief that the crackers and
Speaker 1: wine they eat turned into literal body and blood of
Speaker 1: Jesus when they eat them, but without the trans in
Speaker 1: the name. Because there are a bunch of right wing
Speaker 1: culture war zealots, Substantiation set about trying to well raise
Speaker 1: the dead and breed monsters like that was their mission
Speaker 1: statement in internal paperwork, or to quote it directly. Substantiation
Speaker 1: is a for profit organization dedicated to spreading the Word
Speaker 1: of Christ and spreading Christian nationalism by use of unliving bioweapons.
Speaker 1: It is God's plan that we recreate the Miracle of
Speaker 1: Lazarus and arm the resurrected with flaming swords with which
Speaker 1: to strike down the sinful. Which look, we did a
Speaker 1: whole two week series on the Disconcordant and you can
Speaker 1: go check that out for more information. But this statement,
Speaker 1: once it leaked, it pretty much split the Christian faith
Speaker 1: and it was a huge reason why a series of
Speaker 1: anti popes started popping up all over the world, because
Speaker 1: a lot of people were like, wait a second, isn't
Speaker 1: the whole point of Christianity not to strike down the sinful,
Speaker 1: like with flaming swords, but.
Speaker 2: To forgive them?
Speaker 1: And other people were like, but we want zombies with
Speaker 1: flaming swords to kill gay people, and those are the two.
Speaker 2: Sides of Christianity.
Speaker 1: Ever since substantiation got mystery funding, which ed Zitron actually
Speaker 1: proved the source of it was the Republican Party. Do
Speaker 1: you remember the Republican Party. There were a bunch of
Speaker 1: right wing bastards who went mask off fascist in the
Speaker 1: twenty tens before most of you were born, who picked
Speaker 1: a really strange name for themselves, since Republican means leftist
Speaker 1: everywhere else in the world. But then again, I guess
Speaker 1: when the Republican Party picked it, they were actually the
Speaker 1: anti racist whatever. It's a whole bunch of history about this.
Speaker 1: I've done so many episodes over the past several decades
Speaker 1: that talk about the Republican Party and when it switched
Speaker 1: over and blah blah blah blah blah. That's unrelated, Okay, unrelated.
Speaker 1: Substantiation never really made money. They just ate up resources
Speaker 1: developing living weapons what we call biospawn today. They developed
Speaker 1: ex vetro Genesis, which is that cloning that isn't really
Speaker 1: cloning because it doesn't require a living host that everyone
Speaker 1: else just costs cloning. But if you don't say X
Speaker 1: feature genesis and podcasts, then people get mad at you
Speaker 1: on social media.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: They developed this around roughly the same timeline as Cold
Speaker 1: Lab Cooperative in Helsinki did. Substantiation's first big success was
Speaker 1: the hellhound, a sort of half dog, half rabbit monstrosity
Speaker 1: that is still in production today. Like most biospawn, especially
Speaker 1: monster hybrids, hellhounds live for only a year or two
Speaker 1: at most, and they spend all of their waking hours
Speaker 1: in tremendous pain. Screaming and crying. They were sold first
Speaker 1: as guard.
Speaker 2: Dogs to the ultra rich.
Speaker 1: It was this whole fad, but owners kept them so
Speaker 1: full of pain meds to get them to shut up
Speaker 1: that the hellhounds mostly slept all day and were not
Speaker 1: really useful even for intimidation. Plus, there was that beautiful
Speaker 1: day when hellhounds ate Bombboy, the white rapper turned past
Speaker 1: her white nationalist billionaire at his estate in front of
Speaker 1: a live news crew. Some of these hellhounds were even
Speaker 1: utilized in World War Three, mostly just for their impact
Speaker 1: on the enemy's morale, but in an era of drones,
Speaker 1: the hellhounds weren't particularly impactful on a larger scale. If
Speaker 1: you find yourself up against hellhounds, which you might have already, honestly,
Speaker 1: here's what you need to know about them. They have
Speaker 1: the jaws of a pit bull, and once they've latched
Speaker 1: onto you, realistically the only way you're getting it off
Speaker 1: of you is to shoot it in the head. They
Speaker 1: can jump ten feet vertically or thirty feet horizontally. Even
Speaker 1: the most ardent animal lover instinctively knows that it is
Speaker 1: a favor to kill these creatures. Hellhounds have a death
Speaker 1: wish as strong as their prey drive. They live to
Speaker 1: kill and die. Their main weakness is that they are
Speaker 1: never quiet, even sleeping. Hellhounds are suffering crying in their sleep. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: it really is a drive to kill and not a
Speaker 1: drive to eat. Most distraction techniques that work on dogs
Speaker 1: do not work on hellhounds. But on the plus side,
Speaker 1: they somewhat regularly attack their own trainers. Due to their volatility,
Speaker 1: hellhounds are rarely used in field battles, which is good
Speaker 1: because they're reasonably.
Speaker 2: Effective against dinosaurs.
Speaker 1: Otherwise they just attack their own side too much. Hell
Speaker 1: Hounds are often guarding the perimeter of nationalist bases, trained
Speaker 1: not to wander too far and to attack anything living
Speaker 1: that they run across. They're also used to flush out
Speaker 1: buildings in urban warfare. A pack, usually three to twelve
Speaker 1: dogs will be let loose in the front door. These
Speaker 1: hounds are also often equipped with suicide vests that explode
Speaker 1: if shot or Recently, since dogs cannot open doors, some
Speaker 1: hounds have been trained to self detonate their vests if
Speaker 1: they find a door they cannot open, which clears the
Speaker 1: path for the remaining creatures. I know I said earlier
Speaker 1: about how we shouldn't see these things in terms of
Speaker 1: black or white. But our enemy, at least its scientists
Speaker 1: and its generals, truly are evil. If you encounter hell hounds,
Speaker 1: it is useless to run, even on dinosaur back. These
Speaker 1: fucking things are fast. You need to fight. They are
Speaker 1: physically weaker than you and your mount. At the end
Speaker 1: of it, if you can shoot them, shoot them. If
Speaker 1: they're masked and you have access to a flamethrower, use
Speaker 1: that if you're alone. There's an old trick people use
Speaker 1: to fight dogs. I'm sorry to say that this is
Speaker 1: the thing that people have had to do, where you
Speaker 1: offer your forearm, the forearm of your non dominant arm,
Speaker 1: and the hellhound will lunge and bite that.
Speaker 2: Use your dominant arm then.
Speaker 1: To shoot or stab the creature to death. If you're
Speaker 1: expecting hellhound trouble, van braces are worth adding to your kit.
Speaker 1: For those of you who didn't grow up obsessed with
Speaker 1: swords and armor, that's a forearm guard. After the development
Speaker 1: of the Vishnu Shield at the end of World War Three,
Speaker 1: substantiation itself actually collapsed. I wish we could take credit
Speaker 1: for this, but basically one of the founders detransitioned from
Speaker 1: Catholicism back to mainline Evangelical Protestantism. And then one of
Speaker 1: the Catholics got mad, and then the two killed each
Speaker 1: other in a literal duel, and the whole organization was
Speaker 1: so hierarchical that it fell apart with two of its leaders.
Speaker 1: But it's core ideas of using ex vitro genesis to
Speaker 1: develop super weapons. That idea is spread and spread and spread.
Speaker 2: It's all over the world.
Speaker 1: But you know what else is all over the world,
Speaker 1: products and services. This podcast is brought to you by
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Speaker 1: or the warehouse, or the factory or the mess hall
Speaker 1: or wherever you do your part to kill fascists, why
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Speaker 1: the living dead, stepping over the corpses of your loved
Speaker 1: ones to try to escape to the relative safety of
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Speaker 1: in total war doesn't mean we should get total bored.
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Speaker 1: Why is he rescuing all these rodents? He won't say,
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Speaker 1: editorial board. None of us are exactly sure what service
Speaker 1: has been offered by this advertiser. It seems likely, perhaps
Speaker 1: even probable, the appearance of this advertisement is a code
Speaker 1: that communicates meaning to some portion of the listening audience.
Speaker 2: Who's on media.
Speaker 1: Would like to remind the people who play such ads
Speaker 1: in order to communicate internationalist fighters behind enemy lines that
Speaker 1: such coded messages are more effective that they appear to be,
Speaker 1: which have been advertisements, and we're back.
Speaker 2: Soon enough.
Speaker 1: Nationalist scientists were reanimating the dead. There was no religious
Speaker 1: motivation this time, not really. It was a tech startup
Speaker 1: Brains with a Z and two exclamation marks that really
Speaker 1: pushed for the reanimation of the dead. Zombies would Brains
Speaker 1: hoped be able to replace living workers in any number
Speaker 1: of industries. After all, the unliving require weekly injections in
Speaker 1: order to stay animated, and so if the workers were sentient,
Speaker 1: that could have been held over their heads to make
Speaker 1: them loyal to whatever company they were.
Speaker 2: Leased out to.
Speaker 1: Because Brains was a subscription service, as was the style
Speaker 1: at the time. Early on, there was some optimism about
Speaker 1: bringing people back as well.
Speaker 2: People.
Speaker 1: There would have been some brain damage, people assumed, but
Speaker 1: they might still have you know, sentience, memory, and personality.
Speaker 1: A few famous counterfeit attempts. Do you remember Jesus the
Speaker 1: blonde haired, blue eyed preacher who claimed to have been
Speaker 1: resurrected after self crucifixion. No one ever managed a true resurrection.
Speaker 1: The dead stay dead, or at least their souls or
Speaker 1: personalities or whatever you want to call it. Do the
Speaker 1: very very freshly dead were able to be resurrected and
Speaker 1: merged with other creatures, creating bipedial biospawn with roughly the
Speaker 1: intelligence and demeanor of the hell hounds. Most corpses, though,
Speaker 1: are resurrected as what we call zombies, slow shambling creatures
Speaker 1: without even an animal self awareness. The zombies cannot be trained,
Speaker 1: only herded. They walk and moan until they find a
Speaker 1: warm blooded creature that they then rip to shreds, trying
Speaker 1: to consume every bit of its blood and warmth. Fortunately,
Speaker 1: unlike the zombies of screen and page, real life zombies
Speaker 1: lack the ability to self replicate. You get bit by
Speaker 1: a zombie, you're not going to turn into a zombie.
Speaker 1: The real life zombies even tend to rip people up
Speaker 1: so badly that their kills cannot be resurrected by the necromancers,
Speaker 1: as zombie making engineers are so often called. Unfortunately, they
Speaker 1: are like movie zombies and that the only way to
Speaker 1: kill them is to destroy their brain, and resurrection has
Speaker 1: not weakened their skulls to any appreciable degree, but it's
Speaker 1: not as easy to destroy their brain as it is
Speaker 1: in the movies. The fact that they use zombies is
Speaker 1: somehow the biggest propaganda issue of either side. Christian nationalists
Speaker 1: in particular have managed to spin the whole thing as
Speaker 1: a way in which sinners are punished, that the army
Speaker 1: of the dead is serving God's plan, but everywhere the
Speaker 1: existence of zombies it's a very successful weapon of fear.
Speaker 1: You might not like us, but we're unstoppable. Join us,
Speaker 1: or zombies will eat your family. It's a very convincing line.
Speaker 1: On our side, we're able to say, well, the other
Speaker 1: side reanimates the dead as unthinking monsters, and only by
Speaker 1: bloodlust they are the bad guys. This too, is a
Speaker 1: very convincing line. Zombies, interestingly, only have limited military use.
Speaker 1: They are primarily used for terrorism. They are set loose
Speaker 1: in enemy population centers, especially civilian areas on the battlefield.
Speaker 1: They're too vulnerable to machine gun fire to be wielded
Speaker 1: with too much success. Though they are so easy to
Speaker 1: produce that occasionally they are massed in sufficient numbers to
Speaker 1: be sent out ahead of the regular forces as bullet
Speaker 1: sponges and well terror units sent to demoralize us. Fortunately,
Speaker 1: images of brave soldiers on dinosaurs shooting down zombies have
Speaker 1: bolstered our cause quite a bit. Morale is a terrain
Speaker 1: of struggle, as we always say, whereas son Zoo put it,
Speaker 1: one will win whose army is animated by the same
Speaker 1: spirit throughout all its ranks. We like to squabble about
Speaker 1: anarchism versus republicanism, versus Marxis, Leninism versus democratic and federalism,
Speaker 1: versus social democracy versus nihilism, but our whole army is
Speaker 1: animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks, the
Speaker 1: idea that the living ought to win in the war
Speaker 1: against the liminal. If you're up against zombies, get into
Speaker 1: the open. They're slow and vulnerable in the open, even
Speaker 1: in great numbers. Firearms, fire explosives all quite effective against them.
Speaker 1: In tighter spaces they're much more dangerous. Don't get split up,
Speaker 1: fight back to back, aim for the head if you've
Speaker 1: got the shot. But if you take out their knees,
Speaker 1: they can't do much more than crawl, and that's better
Speaker 1: than nothing. Early propaganda bulletins made sure to emphasize that
Speaker 1: we knew that these creatures were not living, that they're
Speaker 1: not the people that they look like. But honestly, we
Speaker 1: stop bothering to say that because one look at a
Speaker 1: zombie and you know there is no spark of life
Speaker 1: left in it. So the zombies were a big hit,
Speaker 1: and hell hounds truly strike terror in the hearts of
Speaker 1: many of us. But the nationalist forces decided that the
Speaker 1: creation of biospond is an art. All over the world,
Speaker 1: nationalist scientists have developed different local flavors to the monsters
Speaker 1: that they grow and set loose, and new trends regularly
Speaker 1: sweep across the globe. In twenty fifty three, they went big,
Speaker 1: hulking monstrosities like combining roly pollis with elephants or spiders
Speaker 1: and rhinoceroses, or things that we never really reverse engineered,
Speaker 1: like at one point they pulled off a dragon, like
Speaker 1: how do they do that?
Speaker 2: We don't know.
Speaker 1: It must have taken so much work, because they never
Speaker 1: did it again. When these things first hit the battlefield,
Speaker 1: they were admittedly terrifying. Their screams echo for miles because
Speaker 1: they are also, like all biospawn, in terrible pain. But
Speaker 1: they were too hard to control to make much tactical
Speaker 1: use of these giant ones, and in the end they
Speaker 1: were no match for t rexes and the good old
Speaker 1: classic de extincted animals. Like the sabertoothed tigers that can
Speaker 1: hunt in packs. Oh you gotta watch the video of
Speaker 1: the saber tooth tigers bringing down that dragon. It is
Speaker 1: a sight to see. In twenty fifty four, they were smarter,
Speaker 1: they went smaller. This was the year of roving packs
Speaker 1: of jellies and the admittedly kind of cool if you
Speaker 1: grow up playing D and D gelatinous cubes that inch
Speaker 1: their way across the battlefield and pervious to traditional munitions,
Speaker 1: dissolving everything in their way. That's when most units were issued.
Speaker 1: Flamethrowers and biospahn without central nervous systems are a bit
Speaker 1: easier for the other side to control, as they are
Speaker 1: not in constant pain. We don't know what the big
Speaker 1: trend will be this year, but early indications out of
Speaker 1: Ukraine suggest that the Russians at least are toying around
Speaker 1: with Dinosaurs's base models from which to create horrific screeching
Speaker 1: hell monsters like the six legged raptors that bleed from
Speaker 1: their mouths and vomit acid uncontrollably. We're as yet unsure
Speaker 1: if the acid thing was a feature or a bug,
Speaker 1: but one more creature we want to cover in more
Speaker 1: detail because you are likely to run across it. Are
Speaker 1: the moles, I mean, they're not actually moles at all.
Speaker 1: They're more like land shrimp round lice.
Speaker 2: They're awful. They dig though.
Speaker 1: They're the size of squirrels, and they dig and they
Speaker 1: dig until they hear someone above them, and then they.
Speaker 2: Pop out and try to eat you.
Speaker 1: A single mole is not a big deal at all.
Speaker 1: It's gross, but you can step on it to kill it.
Speaker 1: They don't send out single moles. They send out swarms.
Speaker 1: We're unsure exactly how they were constructed, but they first
Speaker 1: appeared on the South African front and now they're in
Speaker 1: use all across the world because they are damned effective,
Speaker 1: particularly if a swarm gets into a dino stable, that
Speaker 1: usually causes a stampede, which usually means a lot of
Speaker 1: people die. These things can dig through wood, but not concrete,
Speaker 1: so in places with suspected mole activity, make sure your
Speaker 1: primary living quarters are on slab foundations. Make sure that
Speaker 1: your space is equipped with ground penetrating radar if you're
Speaker 1: not under conditions of Vish New shielding, but if you
Speaker 1: are under Vish New conditions. Dogs have been trained successfully
Speaker 1: to detect their presence. Either way, if you've got to
Speaker 1: heads up, it's best to evacuate the area. They can
Speaker 1: be fought with fire and poison gas if necessary. The
Speaker 1: best way to deal with a mole attack, though, is
Speaker 1: to stop it at its source. Mole facilities are massive
Speaker 1: because these creatures are only effective in large numbers, and
Speaker 1: they cannot be transported far as Their lifespan is measured
Speaker 1: in hours or days, not weeks or months or years.
Speaker 1: So if you're attacked by moles the breeding ground is nearby,
Speaker 1: destroy it. In fact, that's the best way to deal
Speaker 1: with all the biospawn. Find and kill the fascists who
Speaker 1: produce them. Feed the fascists to your stable. It's good
Speaker 1: for morale. As for another way to track down these fascists,
Speaker 1: I'm going to leave you with another bit of advice
Speaker 1: from sun Zoo. Whether the object be to crush an army,
Speaker 1: to storm a city, or to assassinate an individual, it
Speaker 1: is always necessary to begin by finding out the names
Speaker 1: of the attendants, the aid de camps, and the doorkeepers
Speaker 1: and centuries of the g general in command. Our spies
Speaker 1: must be commissioned to ascertain these so yeah, uh know
Speaker 1: your enemy, literally know their names, know who they know,
Speaker 1: figure out what you can use against them, and that's
Speaker 1: what we've got for you for this week. Stay strong,
Speaker 1: stay tough. Remember the anarchist prayer. Yeah Yeah, Whether you're
Speaker 1: an anarchist or not, we're all on the same side here,
Speaker 1: animated by the same spirit of anti fascism.
Speaker 2: The anarchist prayer.
Speaker 1: I ask not to be safe from my enemies, but
Speaker 1: dangerous to them. Stay dangerous, and good luck.
Speaker 2: It could Happen Here as a production of cool Zone Media.
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from cool Zone Media, visit our website
Speaker 2: cool zonemedia dot com, or check us out on the
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 2: You can find sources for It could Happen Here, updated
Speaker 2: monthly at cool zonemedia dot com slash sources. Thanks for listening.