WEBVTT - Second Cup: On a scale of 1 to 10

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is about a wiser way to make decisions. Consider

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<v Speaker 1>how strong everyone's preferences are. That can guide you toward

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<v Speaker 1>choices that don't leave people feeling resentful. Perhaps you have

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<v Speaker 1>heard the classic relationship advice to understand just how important

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<v Speaker 1>certain things are to your other half. If you would

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<v Speaker 1>rather stay home for Christmas and your partner would rather

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<v Speaker 1>spend the holidays at his parents' house, that may seem

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<v Speaker 1>like an impasse. But if we ask the strength of

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<v Speaker 1>everyone's preferences, this can change things. On a scale of

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<v Speaker 1>one to ten, how much do you care? If you

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<v Speaker 1>realize the importance of you staying home is a four,

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<v Speaker 1>but your partner views seeing his parents as an eight,

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<v Speaker 1>then you can see why it might be wise to

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<v Speaker 1>make the trip, albeit maybe a shorter one so you

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<v Speaker 1>can have some time at home as well. Or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you are deciding between two pink colors. He prefers one

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<v Speaker 1>and you prefer the other. But when you rate your

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<v Speaker 1>preferences on a scale of one to ten, both of

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<v Speaker 1>you pick three. The truth is neither of you care

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<v Speaker 1>all that much, so just pick something and stop worrying

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<v Speaker 1>about it. You aren't going to be put out by

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<v Speaker 1>a different choice, and you won't worry that your partner

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<v Speaker 1>will be resentful if you go with your choice. It's

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<v Speaker 1>all good. Generally speaking, when the importance of a decision

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<v Speaker 1>is pretty low to both of you, then you don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to sink too much time into reaching a decision.

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<v Speaker 1>If the importance is low to one person and high

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<v Speaker 1>to the other, you will usually both be happier if

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<v Speaker 1>you go with the preference of the person that the

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<v Speaker 1>decision is more important to. Now. Of course, this doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>always work. There are some people who will claim everything

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<v Speaker 1>is a ten, but honestly, if you are married to

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<v Speaker 1>someone with a bulldozer of a personality, you already know

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<v Speaker 1>that you already know that this tip isn't for you.

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<v Speaker 1>But for most people this probably won't be an issue.

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<v Speaker 1>Both of you are generally reasonable people, and while you

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<v Speaker 1>like your preferences, you don't want to paint the walls

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<v Speaker 1>white if you don't care that much about interior design

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<v Speaker 1>and your partner has been dreaming of a nice, sunny

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<v Speaker 1>yellow bedroom since childhood. By adding the question on a scale,

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<v Speaker 1>of one to ten, how important is that to you

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<v Speaker 1>to all your decisions. You will make it possible to

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<v Speaker 1>make quick decisions when you don't have strong preferences, and

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<v Speaker 1>you will invest your time into making the decisions that

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<v Speaker 1>matter most to both of you. I will add that

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<v Speaker 1>this question can be helpful for making joint decisions with

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<v Speaker 1>roommates and friends too. If you are choosing between sushi

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<v Speaker 1>and Italian for dinner, and one person has been fantasizing

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<v Speaker 1>all day about her spicy tuneroles, that's good to know.

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<v Speaker 1>You can ask yourself this question as well for individual choices.

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<v Speaker 1>For instance, maybe you are looking for a laptop bag.

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<v Speaker 1>You want one that fits your laptop easily, has a

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<v Speaker 1>zippered top, and a light lining. If you can't find

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<v Speaker 1>one that you like that has all three of those features,

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<v Speaker 1>you can ask yourself how important each feature is on

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<v Speaker 1>a scale of one to ten. Maybe you will decide

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<v Speaker 1>that fitting your laptop and zipping are both nines, but

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<v Speaker 1>the light color lining is just a four. So you

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<v Speaker 1>go with a bag with a black lining and learn

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<v Speaker 1>to live with it precisely because you can live with

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<v Speaker 1>it in a way that would be harder to do

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<v Speaker 1>if your laptop was always sticking out of the top

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<v Speaker 1>of your two small bag. Decision made no need to

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<v Speaker 1>spend more time exploring the universe of options. Not every

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<v Speaker 1>hill is a hill to die on. By using a

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<v Speaker 1>scale of one to ten, we are able to focus

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<v Speaker 1>on what is important to us and let go of

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<v Speaker 1>what is not. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everybody, I'd love to hear from you. You can

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<v Speaker 1>send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just

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<v Speaker 1>connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast Pod. That's b E the number four then Breakfast pod.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>Podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. That before Breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much, sh I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

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<v Speaker 1>iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

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<v Speaker 1>favorite shows.