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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for not rescheduling my wedding?

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Speaker 1: You might be, but Sam, you know there's a group

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Speaker 1: of people that are literally never the a hole.

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Speaker 2: Oh and uh, who's that group of people?

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Speaker 1: The r slash o Kop Show subreda where this story

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Speaker 1: comes from.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to you all.

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Speaker 1: The subrend has absolutely exploded. We have over fifty three

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Speaker 1: hundred members. We're number seventeen in podcasting, so one, if

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Speaker 1: you haven't joined, please join number two.

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Speaker 2: We were about to go on a spree, on.

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Speaker 1: An absolute rampage, reading a ton of our slash Okop

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Speaker 1: Show stories. Yeah, so submit yours, get them in now,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna read them like we are with this whole

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Speaker 1: so number seventeen podcast.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. Guys.

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Speaker 1: You you congratulate yourselves because you're awesome and.

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Speaker 2: You made that happen. Hot on the back, pats on

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Speaker 2: the back. Thanks, guys, we appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into our own community member psych what Bland's story.

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Speaker 1: I thirty and my husband's twenty nine, got married over

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Speaker 1: two years ago. During our engagement, we were living with

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Speaker 1: mother in law and the other side of the family

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Speaker 1: and his whole side of the family, and the pandemic

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Speaker 1: was slowing down and everyone managed to not get sick.

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Speaker 2: That's great.

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Speaker 1: I have extreme anxiety and it was not helpful that

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Speaker 1: mother in law was telling me that I wasn't good

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Speaker 1: enough to her son. It just made everything worse. I

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Speaker 1: was working twelve hours, six nights a week, and I

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Speaker 1: was overwhelmed.

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Speaker 2: Oh that is a law. That is rough.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I decided that we wanted to get

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Speaker 1: married in December of twenty twenty one, and we had

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Speaker 1: set a date in everything. We were going to have

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Speaker 1: it at our house in the living room and have

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Speaker 1: a very small wedding, just family that lived close by,

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Speaker 1: including parents, grandparents that are still here with us, and siblings.

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Speaker 2: That was it.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing, though, my nephew, who was five and

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Speaker 1: severely autistic, was unable to come because our mother in

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Speaker 1: law feared that he would destroy the house.

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Speaker 2: I was not happy about this. I love my nephew

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Speaker 2: and I wanted him there.

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Speaker 1: But in the end I agreed because I know I

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Speaker 1: would not be able to force everything on my mother

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Speaker 1: in law and cause a Karen moment from her. So

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Speaker 1: month before the wedding, everyone in my parents household came

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Speaker 1: down with the old bid our old friend.

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Speaker 2: Our old friend, the stranger that you don't want to

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Speaker 2: walk through your door does anyway, that's correct.

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Speaker 1: I was already stretched out because mother in law was

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Speaker 1: taking control of the wedding, buying my dress and decor,

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Speaker 1: and I was told I had no say. My mom

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Speaker 1: called me and asked me to change the date of

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Speaker 1: the wedding because she didn't think that she would make it,

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Speaker 1: and all moms are just ruining everything over here.

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Speaker 2: God, get a grip, Get a grip.

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Speaker 1: I told her I would try to change it, but

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Speaker 1: mother in law throw a beefit and told us that

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Speaker 1: the day was set and if my family was able

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Speaker 1: to come, that's fine by her, But.

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Speaker 2: The data is set.

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Speaker 1: I called my mom and told her I couldn't change it,

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Speaker 1: which is kind of crazy. Can't change your own wedding

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Speaker 1: date because your mother.

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Speaker 2: In law is like no, yeah, I mean, this is

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Speaker 2: just class entitled mother in laws, classic entitled classic. Karens

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Speaker 2: want to control the universe. They want to thanos, snap

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Speaker 2: everything into their own little, perfect little world. But the cats,

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Speaker 2: that's right, unless you let them. Don't let the Karens win.

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Speaker 1: Don't let them win, Ladies and gentlemen, I called my

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Speaker 1: mom and I told her I couldn't change it, and

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Speaker 1: my sister was screaming at me on the phone and

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Speaker 1: said I was a horrible person and didn't deserve to

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Speaker 1: get married and she will not be coming.

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Speaker 2: Bro, that is an overreaction, I feel just for wanting

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Speaker 2: to choose your own date.

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Speaker 1: So, so Opie's mom calls yeah, and she's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I might not be able to make it.

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Speaker 2: Can you change the date?

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Speaker 1: Opie goes to the mother in law, or the mother

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Speaker 1: in law intervenes, but at any rate, the mother in

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Speaker 1: law is like, we will not change the date of

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Speaker 1: this wedding.

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Speaker 2: It's at my house. I'm controlling it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So Opie calls the mom back and is like, yo,

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, like we can't change the date. And

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Speaker 1: then the sister chimes in and she's like, uh, you're

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Speaker 1: a horrible person. I'm not going to your wedding.

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Speaker 2: So not only is the mother in law terrible for

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Speaker 2: not being at all flexible on the yes, but now

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Speaker 2: the sister is terrible because they're not flexible on the day. Oh, no,

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Speaker 2: one is flexible on this date. OPI can not win?

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Speaker 2: Can win? OPI is.

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Speaker 1: On both sides on both sides, all angles. No one

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Speaker 1: is safe. I tried to explain why, and then they

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Speaker 1: just hung.

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Speaker 2: Up on me.

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Speaker 1: The mom and this mature mature, so mature, right. All

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Speaker 1: I was trying to do was make sure that everyone

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Speaker 1: was happy. The day before the wedding, my mom calls

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Speaker 1: and she and everyone that was healthy would be there

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Speaker 1: the next day, including my sister. My sister and I

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Speaker 1: made up and we had a beautiful wedding.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so it worked.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so they did come around. She gave her maid

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Speaker 1: of honor speech and everything. So the sister was also

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Speaker 1: the maid of honor, the one that.

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Speaker 2: Sister that was like I'm leaving. Yes, bro, that doesn't

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Speaker 2: sound like a sister that you want to have as

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Speaker 2: your mate of honor. If she's like, yeah, I'm gonna leave,

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Speaker 2: absolutely this is I'm gonna leave that day. It doesn't

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Speaker 2: work for me or mom, so good head out. But

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Speaker 2: a year later, I can't help thinking that I was

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Speaker 2: the a hole. Wait wait, what I know? A year later,

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Speaker 2: I've been dominating on this for a year. Update.

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Speaker 1: I was finally able to tell them what really happened,

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Speaker 1: and now everyone understands OP. I also want to explain

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Speaker 1: I have a learning disability, and it's hard for me

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Speaker 1: to write these things out.

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Speaker 2: Fragrant Macaroon eighty eight four seven, which I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a Fragrant Fellow reference, but

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Speaker 1: I love it says I'd say, you're not an ahole. However,

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Speaker 1: you weren't trying to make everyone happy. You were trying

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Speaker 1: to placate your mother in law, which is a great point.

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Speaker 1: Your mother in law and husband, if he lets her

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Speaker 1: disrespect you the way she does, are the actual a holes.

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Speaker 1: You have control over your life, not her.

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Speaker 2: That's honestly good advice. That's good advice. That is great advice. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it seems like it's just a really hard place to

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Speaker 2: be in because it's like you want to make your

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Speaker 2: mom happy, you want to make your partner's mom happy,

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Speaker 2: and when they're both at each other's throats, like it's

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Speaker 2: like an immovable object with an immovable or unmovable force

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Speaker 2: or whatever that thing is, it's like it's like they're

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Speaker 2: button heads and you can't please anyone exactly.

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Speaker 1: And to be clear, I'm about to double check this.

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Speaker 1: Okay for a second, I actually I was under the

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Speaker 1: impression I got this wrong. I was under the impression

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Speaker 1: that OPI and her now husband were living with the

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Speaker 1: mother in law and hosting the wedding at the mother

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Speaker 1: in law's house, which is why she was so controlling.

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Speaker 1: They had their own house and were hosting the wedding

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Speaker 1: there at their own house. It was the mother in

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Speaker 1: law's house. It wasn't the mother in law's house. So

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Speaker 1: the mother in law was just being a control Like.

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Speaker 2: You're just being controlling.

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Speaker 1: And to be clear that if the mother in law

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Speaker 1: was hosting it there, that does not give it right

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Speaker 1: to be as controlling as she was. But it's even

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Speaker 1: more insanely egregious how her behavior was considering that it

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Speaker 1: wasn't even hosting at her mother.

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Speaker 2: In law's turn crazy when you add the in law, Like,

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Speaker 2: what is the deal? What is the deal? Truly?

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Speaker 1: Because you would think most people, I guess most people

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Speaker 1: that get married have kids become mother in laws. Most

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Speaker 1: people are pretty chill, but be going crazy.

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Speaker 2: They go crazy. They go crazy, people crazy mother in laws.

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Speaker 2: It happens, but I hope it doesn't happen to you.

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Speaker 2: That's true. So op A Horna not a whole mother

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Speaker 2: in law and sister a Horna a little bit a

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Speaker 2: whole on the sister and very a hole in the

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Speaker 2: mother in law.

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Speaker 1: I would say, also very a whole in the sister

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Speaker 1: because of the stress of your own sister, annate of honor, say,

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Speaker 1: and the fact.

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Speaker 2: Is your maide of honor. Okay, I will upgrade. I

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Speaker 2: think I was just a little bit. I was just saying,

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Speaker 2: like a lot ale. Yeah, yeah, I'm a whole change.

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Speaker 1: Too, absolutely, But we might not love us, mother in law,

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Speaker 1: but if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

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Speaker 2: We love you and say it tomorrow. This is an

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Speaker 2: episode from Deep Within the Archives. Time for okop Relam.

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Speaker 2: I used sign language to impress my deaf girlfriend's parents.

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Speaker 2: But little did I know I said the unspeakable.

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Speaker 1: You know, for for people that don't speak, saying the unspeakable.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's not good, that's not good. She never want

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Speaker 2: to speak the unspeakable, just want to sign the unspeakable. Right.

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Speaker 2: A few days ago, my girlfriend and I got caught

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Speaker 2: being intimate. Oh god, were they hugging? Were they kissing?

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Speaker 2: Or were they rod dogging? Dog style vaginal? Her mom

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Speaker 2: heard us in the bedroom and banged on the door,

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Speaker 2: and in response, I banged my girlfriend harder. Wait, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No. My mom heard us in

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Speaker 2: the bedroom and banged on the door. My girlfriend heard

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Speaker 2: nothing because she's deaf. I did my best to communicate

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Speaker 2: what was happening, but I was in a compromising position

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Speaker 2: at the time. By the time my girlfriend and I

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Speaker 2: were on the same page, that damage was done. Her

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Speaker 2: mom heard it all nice. Guesterday, my girlfriend sent me

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Speaker 2: a message to inform me that her parents wanted to

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Speaker 2: have a discussion with the two of us regarding recent events.

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Speaker 2: Oh how old God. I agreed to meet them at

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Speaker 2: their house towards the end of the day. This is

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Speaker 2: what I expected to happen. One uncomfortable conversation with parents

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Speaker 2: about my shenanigans with their daughter. Two awkward apology from me.

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Speaker 2: Three parents accepting my apology and encouraging my girlfriend and

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Speaker 2: I to practice safe sex, even though no sex at

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Speaker 2: all would probably be their preference. Four I use what

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Speaker 2: I've learned in sign language to tell the parents how

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Speaker 2: much I love their daughter and hopefully make them like

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Speaker 2: me more. Five wholesome ish ending. Wow, that's that sounds

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Speaker 2: like a dream scenario. So one through three happened as expected.

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Speaker 2: But I managed to fuck up four and five. Oh,

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Speaker 2: this is what happened. I've been learning sign language on

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Speaker 2: an on and off basis for months now. I'm nowhere

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Speaker 2: near gonna But my girlfriend and I thought it might

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Speaker 2: disarm her parents if I made a small gesture in

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Speaker 2: sign language to show how much I cared about her.

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Speaker 2: It sounded like an excellent suggestion on paper, but I

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Speaker 2: was worried that I would fuck it up because my

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Speaker 2: sign language skills kind of suck, right. My girlfriend encouraged

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Speaker 2: me to learn something simple like I'm in love with

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Speaker 2: your daughter or I love your daughter to the parents. However,

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Speaker 2: due to the stress of the parents confronting us and

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Speaker 2: the pressure to avoid saying the wrong things, including the

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Speaker 2: sign language part, I became overwhelmed and this communicated the

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Speaker 2: sign for daughter and accidentally signed I loved you.

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Speaker 1: Whoror see this is so great because is he talking

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Speaker 1: about the daughter?

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Speaker 2: Is he so sorry? I bespoke I love your horror

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Speaker 2: ah all this communication there. No, I knew the sign

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Speaker 2: had something to do with touching the side of the

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Speaker 2: cheek or chin, so I did what I thought made

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Speaker 2: sense instead of a awarding the mission. When I forgot

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Speaker 2: that fucking sign instant regret. My girlfriend buried her face

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Speaker 2: in her hands. I could tell she was laughing. Her

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Speaker 2: parents didn't have the same reaction. The two of them

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Speaker 2: looked at me like I was a poop demon in dogma.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea what that is. I had no idea.

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Speaker 2: It was an appropriate sign when happened, but it was

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Speaker 2: obvious I did something wrong. It was the complete opposite

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Speaker 2: of a wholesome ending. My girlfriend video called me afterwards

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Speaker 2: to show me the difference between daughter and horror and

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Speaker 2: sign language to tell me I should probably avoid her

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Speaker 2: parents for the time being because I'm not their favorite

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Speaker 2: person at the moment. Guess I'm never going to make

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Speaker 2: a good impression now.

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Speaker 1: Wow, I mean you might have to throw in the

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Speaker 1: towel on that one, buddy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's over. It's over for you, sons,

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Speaker 2: that's fat. I actually have a very similar story. Really. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I had this girlfriend like four years ago. She

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Speaker 2: was two years older than me, and she was graduating, yeah, mommy,

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Speaker 2: and she was graduating and all of her like friends

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Speaker 2: and family were there, and she came like her parents

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Speaker 2: didn't seem religious, but they were like they were kind

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Speaker 2: of like in your face Christian but not really practicing

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Speaker 2: you know where it's like like the virtue signaling kind

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Speaker 2: of Christian. I don't go to church or anything, but

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Speaker 2: like they like, you know, we'll we'll we'll call you out,

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Speaker 2: you know, for for being gay and ship, right, you know,

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Speaker 2: the Westboro Baptist Church kind Christians. There we go. Maybe

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Speaker 2: that was too harsh, you know what I mean. Right, anyway,

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Speaker 2: They're having this dinner or whatever for for the graduation

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Speaker 2: at this like airbnb little party. And I was completely

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Speaker 2: broke at the time. I had no money. I was

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Speaker 2: I was a junior sophomore in college, right, so I

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Speaker 2: had zero funds. But I was tutoring a little bit,

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Speaker 2: so I like I had a little bit, like basically nothing.

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Speaker 2: And so she had always wanted to like go to Vegas,

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Speaker 2: and so I was like, oh, like for her, you know,

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Speaker 2: for her graduation, Like for a graduation, I'm gonna take

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Speaker 2: her somebody who's never been. I'm going to get you know,

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Speaker 2: us a place to stay in Vegas and two plane

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Speaker 2: tickets over there, right, yeah, And I thought it was

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Speaker 2: like a super cute present and all that, right, and

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Speaker 2: and so I kind of like like I make an announcement.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do a speech. I have this whole

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Speaker 2: speech written of like like you know how much she

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Speaker 2: means to me and I love like, you know, having

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Speaker 2: all these new experiences with her and where we were

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Speaker 2: about to travel to Europe, but as a little trip beforehand,

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Speaker 2: I just wanted, you know, I was like, to show

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Speaker 2: how much you mean to me. I got us two

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Speaker 2: tickets to Las Vegas and a place to stay. Right.

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Speaker 2: I thought that was fine. But to a extremely conservative parents,

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Speaker 2: she's like, you're fucking our daughter in the hotel room.

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Speaker 2: You're taking her to the city of Sin, to sin. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And so they hated me, and they basically what they saw.

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Speaker 2: My parents didn't see like this at all, but to this,

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Speaker 2: to this family, what it sounded like was uh, basically

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Speaker 2: be saying I'm fucking this this this girl to her

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Speaker 2: whole family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh dude, that's rough.

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Speaker 2: Oh And also small side story, I went camping with her,

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Speaker 2: posted a picture of us camping and then they commented like,

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Speaker 2: why are you advertising our your sex life with our

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Speaker 2: daughter on Instagram? Yeah? Oh, I remember you telling me that.

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Speaker 2: I would literally I would not know what to do

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Speaker 2: with myself. I would I cried. I cried, dude, I was.

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Speaker 2: I was. I felt so bad because it's like also

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Speaker 2: like I'd like saved all this money to take her

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Speaker 2: on this trip and then to like instantly be like

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Speaker 2: you did bad. I was like, I was heartbread. Did

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Speaker 2: you did you end up taking it or no? I

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Speaker 2: cancel the trip? Did you get your money back? Yeah? Okay,

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Speaker 2: but yeah I was. I was bummed. Sure that's rough.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's rough, But but you know what else is rough? On?

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Speaker 2: What is sam? Hopefully your stories that you're gonna submit

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Speaker 2: to our slash Oko p show submit it on reddit

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Speaker 2: dot com right now so we could hear your your

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Speaker 2: blissfully sad stories. Give it to us. Also, who is

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Speaker 2: still listening?

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Speaker 1: Like, that's a great question we have. We have high

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Speaker 1: on on the podcast.

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Speaker 2: People, people, people like people listen. We appreciate it. We

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Speaker 2: appreciate it. Love you, Thank you,