Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaser Podcast. Nicky, it's me, Hi, this is
Speaker 1: my podcast. It's me, Andrew and Noah are waiting by
Speaker 1: a patiently you guys, how's it going. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: It's because it's a podcast. It is Monday, and it
Speaker 1: is the first Monday since Taylor Swift released her new
Speaker 1: album Midnights, which has been my obsession over the weekend.
Speaker 1: I talked to Know about it. I talked to Brenna
Speaker 1: about it. We are um, I'm Noah. I feel like
Speaker 1: has become a convert um since this album. Noah, what
Speaker 1: are your thoughts? I mean you you got into it.
Speaker 1: I feel like for me, which is so sweet. Uh. Well,
Speaker 1: a couple of things. One is, I like, the best
Speaker 1: way that I can describe her voice on this album
Speaker 1: is like very like velvety, and I like that. Like
Speaker 1: the album has like a like a like a theme.
Speaker 1: It's not too poppy, it's it's kind of like dark
Speaker 1: in a way. And and her lyrics are very visceral surprised.
Speaker 1: That's what we love about is those visceral lyrics. And
Speaker 1: this album especially is next level self awareness, next level darkness. Um,
Speaker 1: you know. Even in her song the Anti Hero song.
Speaker 1: You know, the first verse is about my depression and
Speaker 1: when I go into a depression, all of the people
Speaker 1: I've ghosted are in the room with me. And then
Speaker 1: she goes into being I'm a covert narcissist, and I mean,
Speaker 1: it gets like very and then she has a whole
Speaker 1: entire song about how she tricked a guy into loving her.
Speaker 1: The whole song is about like getting to I do.
Speaker 1: She's like, it's called Mastermind. Even Taylor's reading that book.
Speaker 1: She really mean. Someone says she took a line from
Speaker 1: like you're stating the monster on the Hill or every Yeah,
Speaker 1: every baby. Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy
Speaker 1: baby and I'm a monster on the hill. I just
Speaker 1: have to say sexy Baby originated. I did not steal
Speaker 1: it from that, but I think it was just like
Speaker 1: I definitely heard it before. But I do say that
Speaker 1: Halse these things like a little sixy baby, and I
Speaker 1: think that was first on thirty Rock. Was there's a
Speaker 1: character that's like because a lot of people wrote to
Speaker 1: be this weekend, We're like, she definitely listened to the
Speaker 1: podcast sexy Baby, and I'm like, I feel like, I
Speaker 1: I feel like I said that knowing that people that
Speaker 1: I wasn't like inventing that. I I hope that no
Speaker 1: one thinks that I stole that. I just I think
Speaker 1: of sexy Baby is like a part of the zeitgeist
Speaker 1: of the way we talk about girls voices now, So
Speaker 1: I hope no one thinks that I think that I
Speaker 1: created that. But if it was the first time you
Speaker 1: heard it from me, it doesn't mean you're wrong. But
Speaker 1: it is a part of the zeitgeist that people say
Speaker 1: that I think I first heard it on thirty Rock.
Speaker 1: But um, the Anti or the Mastermind song though, is
Speaker 1: like you know the all. It was funny. Noah rewrote
Speaker 1: the lyrics this weekend because I said it to both
Speaker 1: her and Anya, being like, this song is about getting
Speaker 1: too I do and on you was like no way,
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, no, it's not actually about that. That
Speaker 1: would be insane. But Noah rewrote the lyrics, and because
Speaker 1: Anya hadn't listened to it yet and no it was like,
Speaker 1: but I mean, these lyrics are pretty insane. She was like,
Speaker 1: she's she said lyrics and she goes, what if I
Speaker 1: told you none of it was accidental, which is one
Speaker 1: of the actual lyrics. And the first night that I
Speaker 1: saw you. I made eye contact for five seconds. I
Speaker 1: kept asking you questions about you without mentioning of without
Speaker 1: mention of myself. Ninety days of no sex with without
Speaker 1: exclusivity because I'm a mastermind. Yeah, and and she wrote wow.
Speaker 1: These lyrics are from chapter one of Getting Too I do,
Speaker 1: and then on your Road, Oh ship, Wow the rules
Speaker 1: too don't? Doesn't the rules say five seconds? Or maybe
Speaker 1: that's pat alec. I think she's secretly obsessed with you,
Speaker 1: Nikki and no One's like no, I you would think
Speaker 1: that Taylor Swift would write knowing no sex without exclusivity
Speaker 1: for nine is She's like I went to Kirkwood High School.
Speaker 1: I dated a guy on and Offer eight years. I mean,
Speaker 1: I was on last comic Standing. It's like this feels
Speaker 1: like yeah, well, I have to say that the album
Speaker 1: does feel like me, but it is not because I
Speaker 1: think she knows anything about me, or I feel like
Speaker 1: every woman of my age or like anywhere in the
Speaker 1: wheelhouse any woman really that uh it can relate to this.
Speaker 1: It talks about depression, It talks about feeling like self loathing.
Speaker 1: It talks about feeling not good enough. It talks about
Speaker 1: feeling like you have to trick people into liking you.
Speaker 1: It feels like it talks about There is one song
Speaker 1: though that I don't think most people can relate to
Speaker 1: that does feel very me and it's called, Um it's
Speaker 1: called Midnight Rain, and I doubt that there's a lot
Speaker 1: of high school girls relating to he wanted that? Wait,
Speaker 1: what is the lyrics? Um, it's about you know, like
Speaker 1: dating a guy who just wants a simple life and
Speaker 1: you want to be famous or you like have a
Speaker 1: more complicated life, I guess, but it actually says he
Speaker 1: wanted it comfortable. I was chasing that fame. So it's
Speaker 1: talking about pain and pain. So I love pain. Um,
Speaker 1: but I think a lot of girls like pain, so
Speaker 1: maybe they could relate to it. I mean, at these
Speaker 1: that was the one I was just like, holy sh it, Like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, she says my boy was a montage, a
Speaker 1: slow motion love potion, jumping jumping off things in the ocean.
Speaker 1: I broke his heart because he was nice. So I
Speaker 1: think like girls can relate to letting go of a
Speaker 1: guy because he's too nice. But also I can really
Speaker 1: relate to like not my lifestyle is the opposite of
Speaker 1: a guy who wants to jump off things into the ocean,
Speaker 1: like I do not want to do that. Chris is
Speaker 1: always jumping off of things, Andrew you date a ledge head,
Speaker 1: like doing like I don't want to date a guy
Speaker 1: who's like an outdoorsy person, or I do date one.
Speaker 1: But you know, that's like the difference between our speeds
Speaker 1: and like the lifestyles we chose. Um, but I really
Speaker 1: love that jumping off things in the ocean. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that is like every guy on Riya
Speaker 1: or when I used to be on the dating episode
Speaker 1: would be like jumping off of things like outdoors, off
Speaker 1: a boat, off a ledge, off a cliff, off a
Speaker 1: rope swingfriend, Yeah, just rebounding over to me. I was. Um.
Speaker 1: I would always be like, oh god, I can't. And
Speaker 1: then she talks about a lot. I mean she is
Speaker 1: a thirty four I'm guessing thot um three year old
Speaker 1: woman that is not married, Um, has been with the
Speaker 1: same guy for six or seven years, is not pregnant yet.
Speaker 1: And I don't think there's many women out there who
Speaker 1: can relate to that at thirty three, um, not having kids,
Speaker 1: being with a guy long term, and not getting married,
Speaker 1: not getting engaged. That I very much relate to and um,
Speaker 1: you know, even in the song Midnight Raine, she says
Speaker 1: it came like a postcard picture perfect, shiny family holiday,
Speaker 1: peppermint candy, but for him it's every day. It was
Speaker 1: just like she's talking about like these lives that other
Speaker 1: people have that she just didn't want. And he was
Speaker 1: like and then in this you know, in the chorus,
Speaker 1: it's like he wanted a broad. I was making my
Speaker 1: own name, chasing that same. He stayed the same. All
Speaker 1: of me change like Midnight And just also like the
Speaker 1: idea that men don't really change, they like kind of stagged,
Speaker 1: like it's harder to get men to like maybe this
Speaker 1: is it, you know, maybe you should go talk to
Speaker 1: someone and and work on things to change. It might
Speaker 1: be better for us. I related a lot to all
Speaker 1: of it. And I just I'm obsessed with this album.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm guessing Andrew, you've been hearing it on
Speaker 1: repeat too. I have been hearing it. Um. I My
Speaker 1: only problem with it for my ears, For some reason,
Speaker 1: the music that she chooses behind it. I have trouble
Speaker 1: hearing her lyrics, like compared to folk Laura and evermore like.
Speaker 1: I I love her how she writes and for some reason,
Speaker 1: like something isn't registering with my ears of like the
Speaker 1: tone she's got to listen to, like you gotta read
Speaker 1: the lyrics with you. I almost have to read it
Speaker 1: because it's been that's the only thing. Yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: mean I can't read while I'm driving, you know, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm to. That's when I'm listening to it. And
Speaker 1: and I feel like the songs, like the music she's
Speaker 1: chose behind it, like they kind of bleed into each
Speaker 1: other where like I And that's like my only complaint.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've enjoyed listen makes me calm, I'm relaxed.
Speaker 1: Do it? I like driving? Do it? I feel like
Speaker 1: with this album, can't you know it's just not slow
Speaker 1: and simple, you like, I mean, look at who's behind you,
Speaker 1: Willie Nelson, just simple and a guy on a jet skio.
Speaker 1: So I speed it up sometimes, yeah, jump off things
Speaker 1: into the ocean. Uh yeah, I mean she is. I
Speaker 1: first heard it from my dad being like she talks
Speaker 1: too fast, it's too fast, too many, too many lyrics.
Speaker 1: And even Anya said something about it yesterday, being like
Speaker 1: there's too many, she's talking too much. And I love that.
Speaker 1: I I've never done that. That's another realization I had,
Speaker 1: Nicky from listening to the album and then you telling
Speaker 1: me there's like seven other bonus tracksized, Yeah, like there
Speaker 1: has been like a gap for me, Like I could
Speaker 1: have filled in a gap of knowing you better if
Speaker 1: I would have been like more invested in Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: because there's so much you have so many similarities with
Speaker 1: her in a way, it's the it is like, that's
Speaker 1: why I like when my friends are a little resisent
Speaker 1: to listen to her, or my boyfriend or my family,
Speaker 1: I'm like, then you don't care about knowing me like
Speaker 1: it it actually feels like you don't want to meet
Speaker 1: my dog or something like it would be. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to relate it to someone who does it like it
Speaker 1: would be like you have no and it's this, it's
Speaker 1: this way. It's like reading my diary. That's how I
Speaker 1: feel about Taylor Swift, like the that's that's how i'm
Speaker 1: That's the way in which I'm sensitive. That's the way
Speaker 1: in which I feel the things around me. It just
Speaker 1: is I I wish it for everyone. I wish everyone
Speaker 1: had this thing, and I know I'm not alone. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's why she has such maniac fans is because we're
Speaker 1: all we all just feel so seen and like, you know,
Speaker 1: I had so many This is the best weekend because
Speaker 1: I had so many people reaching out to me about
Speaker 1: her and telling me the songs they liked, asking what
Speaker 1: songs I liked, Like it was just so fun, like
Speaker 1: a love that chilling in my lap, purn in my
Speaker 1: lap because it loves me, Karma is my boyfriend. That's
Speaker 1: a really fun fun That's a fun song. I like, Um,
Speaker 1: what's the one? The fight, the which one? It's it's
Speaker 1: something to fight, the greatest fight, the greatest war, Oh
Speaker 1: the great warp din Dick Bappa. Yeah, that's good. So
Speaker 1: my ranking as of today is um I put on
Speaker 1: my Instagram last night. But it's worth going over. And
Speaker 1: I know some people are like, we don't carenick you
Speaker 1: talking about anything else? But it is number one is Maroon. Um.
Speaker 1: I think it just captures like being in love and um,
Speaker 1: it's it's definitely about the night she met Joe Alwen
Speaker 1: her boyfriend now and how she and and that that
Speaker 1: song Mastermind is also about that same night of how
Speaker 1: she like concocted this night to like for them to
Speaker 1: meet and Mastermind is so good because she just is
Speaker 1: so honest. She's like, what if I told you that
Speaker 1: none of this was fate? Like we did not end
Speaker 1: up in that room together because it was just a
Speaker 1: crazy night. I planned it. I planned that touch of
Speaker 1: your arm. I planned like, and I just relate to
Speaker 1: that because I think so many like even with Chris,
Speaker 1: he doesn't realize how much effort I was putting in
Speaker 1: before we got together. And part of the lyrics and
Speaker 1: Mastermind that I love so much are it's the bridge.
Speaker 1: And she says, when nobody wanted to play with me
Speaker 1: when I was a little kid, and so I have
Speaker 1: been scheming like a criminal ever since to get them
Speaker 1: to laugh and like me. And uh, like that's why
Speaker 1: I And then she on her song Dear Reader. At
Speaker 1: the very end, she pretty much says dear reader, like, um,
Speaker 1: she's talking to us being like, don't trust someone who's
Speaker 1: mentally like who's not well like who do you shouldn't
Speaker 1: don't look to me for like your life purpose and
Speaker 1: like for guidance. I don't have it figured out either,
Speaker 1: like I am not a reliable narrator narrator And then
Speaker 1: it kind of like flips everything on its head. At
Speaker 1: the end, she's like, she's giving us this whole album.
Speaker 1: At the end, she's like, but don't don't take me
Speaker 1: too seriously, and how could we each I mean, she's
Speaker 1: we do take her seriously, but she I, you know,
Speaker 1: work so hard in my stand up to be so
Speaker 1: brutally honest, and this album made me realize I'm not
Speaker 1: even close to getting to this level of it of
Speaker 1: like artistic brutal honesty. It was like it has inspired me,
Speaker 1: It's inspired my stand up this weekend. I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to like go harder and deeper. Like it's
Speaker 1: nice because I always think I've revealed everything, but not
Speaker 1: like my character defects and my flaws and like those
Speaker 1: sickest parts of myself. To say that you're a covert
Speaker 1: narcissist as Taylor Swift, I mean, I think that is
Speaker 1: the most revealing thing she has ever said about herself.
Speaker 1: And she is saying it from a perspective of like
Speaker 1: her self loathing herself, Like she's calling herself one. And
Speaker 1: so she's maybe in the way that I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I'm so fat, and you'd be like, Nikki, You're not,
Speaker 1: Like she's doubling down. So she's maybe exaggerating because she
Speaker 1: doesn't really think she's one. But to even throw that
Speaker 1: out there is interesting because no one people have speculated that.
Speaker 1: Maybe you know, her haters might think that about her,
Speaker 1: but no swifties or have ever thought that. And for
Speaker 1: her to feed that to us, it's very interesting. But mastermind,
Speaker 1: um yeah, she's like all the wisest women had to
Speaker 1: do it this way because we were born to be
Speaker 1: the pawn in every lover's game. If you fail to plan,
Speaker 1: you planned to fail. Strategy sets the scene for the tail.
Speaker 1: I'm the wind in our free flowing sails and the
Speaker 1: liquor in our cocktails. I liked that line because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's like I fixured her, like getting him drunk and
Speaker 1: like I mean, which I don't think she meant by
Speaker 1: that lyric. What if I told you none of it
Speaker 1: was accidental and the first night that you saw me,
Speaker 1: I knew I wanted your body. I laid the groundwork,
Speaker 1: and then just like clockwork, the dominoes cascaded in a line.
Speaker 1: What if I told you I'm a mastermind and now
Speaker 1: you're mine? It was all my design because I'm a mastermind.
Speaker 1: Holy shit, I love it. So I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like also I don't know if it takes
Speaker 1: away from the romance or whatever. Like if I learned that, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I actually planned some of this stuff, I
Speaker 1: would almost be like, that's even more romantic that you
Speaker 1: actually strategize to get my love, Like there's something really
Speaker 1: romantic to it that you put time in and did
Speaker 1: homework to get my heart, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't really mind that that much, you know, if
Speaker 1: I was how little men have to do, because She's right,
Speaker 1: women do have to try harder men just kind of
Speaker 1: like a like, I'm not saying all of them are,
Speaker 1: but you guys kind of just we we have to
Speaker 1: look like we're not planning things and everything is accidental,
Speaker 1: but it is. I mean, you know what, how much
Speaker 1: fucking thought did you give Avi and your relationship in
Speaker 1: order to get it to end up the way it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was a full time job at times
Speaker 1: you were with me, it was. But he would never
Speaker 1: know that unless I mean maybe now he knows it,
Speaker 1: but he wouldn't ever suspect all the amount of work
Speaker 1: and talking about with your friends and reading books and
Speaker 1: journaling about it, memorizing things, ultimatums to give him, written
Speaker 1: by Pat Allan and like, but it all comes off
Speaker 1: so casually, like you didn't care. I mean that is
Speaker 1: it's Chris I used to. He still doesn't believe me
Speaker 1: that I was so in love with him and I
Speaker 1: had to figure out a way to get him to
Speaker 1: see me sexually. So I wrote a sketch in which
Speaker 1: I would take off my shirt so that he could
Speaker 1: see I had big boobs in front of him, and
Speaker 1: he still doesn't believe it. He still thinks that Alison
Speaker 1: bree bit I did was all like, oh, it's just
Speaker 1: a good idea, but he was producing it, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I gotta figure out a way to get
Speaker 1: for this guy to see my body because he's not
Speaker 1: seeing me sexually, he's seeing me as a co worker.
Speaker 1: I need to get topless. And I didn't get totally topless,
Speaker 1: but I had a nude brawn and you could see
Speaker 1: what was happening. And he still thinks that I He's like,
Speaker 1: I think you just make that story up, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I would have pitched something entirely different. It started with
Speaker 1: what can I do around al and Brie because that
Speaker 1: was the segment he was producing that would get my
Speaker 1: top off, and I wrote an entire thing around that, Um,
Speaker 1: nine blow jobs a day. I wrote that for you, like,
Speaker 1: I know you think if that yeah, yeah, I know, no,
Speaker 1: I think you have not even exaggeration. That's so like
Speaker 1: we're doing like stand up and you mentioned I will
Speaker 1: do certain jokes to get something across to a guy
Speaker 1: that I like back in the day, Like, I mean,
Speaker 1: there's so much overthinking because women just think so much
Speaker 1: and men don't as much. Last night we were watching
Speaker 1: Love Is Blind, have you guys? It's so good. There's
Speaker 1: a new season out, and it was funny. Chris and
Speaker 1: I were on the couch watching it and um, it's
Speaker 1: you know, it's there's a wall up. These two people
Speaker 1: can't see each other, you guys know the premise, and
Speaker 1: then they get engaged before they even see each other.
Speaker 1: And these people fell madly in love. It's so wild.
Speaker 1: And and then Chris last night was like he never
Speaker 1: does this, but he was so key. What he was like,
Speaker 1: what would you like? Because part of the thing they
Speaker 1: were getting to know each other and they're like, what
Speaker 1: what should people know about you? What should I know
Speaker 1: about you if we're going to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: like what are the things? And then he was like
Speaker 1: what would you tell someone across the wall, like what
Speaker 1: to know about you? And we had gotten into a
Speaker 1: little tiff earlier on the day, so I think it
Speaker 1: was on both of our minds, like are we going
Speaker 1: to share the things about ourselves to someone that we
Speaker 1: haven't met, like we haven't been in a relationship with
Speaker 1: that led to the Like neither of us would have
Speaker 1: predicted we are the people that led to that fight
Speaker 1: earlier today, but that as part of us that it
Speaker 1: was there even before we met. And so he was like,
Speaker 1: what would you tell someone? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: didn't really think about it because you just are Like
Speaker 1: what would I tell someone that I want to possibly
Speaker 1: be my husband that I'm meeting for the first time
Speaker 1: through a wall. I was like, you know, I would say.
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan says, I'm a lot I changed my mind
Speaker 1: a lot. I am very um, I give people what
Speaker 1: they I can be a people pleaser a lot of
Speaker 1: times I can. I'm very sensitive. I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: I care about animals, and I would wish that my
Speaker 1: partner would eventually want to go vegan. I'm messy. I
Speaker 1: can be really mean, like think really dark, cruel, awful thoughts.
Speaker 1: Um and and I love Columbine. Uh and uh, you
Speaker 1: just hear the door locked from the other side. He
Speaker 1: adds another lock somehow. He's like, are you in there? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm here. Still, I'm here. I bet that doesn't remind me.
Speaker 1: There was one girl that's obsessed with exercise. And this
Speaker 1: guy is sharing about his like dad dying and like
Speaker 1: the biggest tragedies of his life. And this girl is
Speaker 1: doing jumping jack's on the other side of the wall
Speaker 1: and like lunges, and at the end of it, he
Speaker 1: goes and by the way, I can hear you doing
Speaker 1: jumping jacks and she goes, oh no, and it totally
Speaker 1: ruins everything as it should. I was so I was
Speaker 1: so mad at this girl. She's like obsessed with exercising.
Speaker 1: It's so lame. Um. But she's like doing like dips
Speaker 1: on the couch as he's like, I was molested when
Speaker 1: I was four, and she's like, oh, she's not out
Speaker 1: of breath because she's like a workout queen. But he
Speaker 1: was able to hear it, like the creaking of the couch.
Speaker 1: He knew, Um, But then I was I turned the
Speaker 1: question and I was like, Chris, what about you? What
Speaker 1: would you? I go, Chris, what should I know about you?
Speaker 1: And I have like my notebook pretending to be the
Speaker 1: girl and he goes, um that I have a girlfriend
Speaker 1: that I really love. I don't even know why I'm
Speaker 1: on the show, like I shouldn't be here. And I
Speaker 1: was like, trick question didn't Yeah, it was just make funny,
Speaker 1: but that he Yeah, he gave a good answer. He
Speaker 1: gave the perfect answer. It was almost like he said
Speaker 1: it was a funny way in which he could account
Speaker 1: for his most annoying traits to me in a way
Speaker 1: that was like charming and funny, and he didn't have
Speaker 1: to say like. It was his way of being like,
Speaker 1: I know this is hard for you to deal with,
Speaker 1: and I'm working on it. And that was really it
Speaker 1: was like the nicest thing that and he started it.
Speaker 1: I was like very impressed by this little, like fun
Speaker 1: couple's exercise. So I do recommend watching Love is Blind
Speaker 1: with your partner and then break it out that question,
Speaker 1: because it gives the person a chance to atone for
Speaker 1: the annoying parts of the personality. We have to go
Speaker 1: to break, but we'll come back with more right after this, Besties.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know, but I have a
Speaker 1: new tour that is happening right now. It's called the
Speaker 1: Good Girl Tour. It is sweeping the nation, starting out
Speaker 1: in Iowa this weekend, and then I'm in Reno, I'm
Speaker 1: in um California. Have four different cities there. I am
Speaker 1: in Vermont, I am in Providence, Rhode Island, Memphis, Tennessee, Waterloo,
Speaker 1: New York, Hersey, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma City, Pulsa, St. Louis, Albany, Portland, Maine,
Speaker 1: New York, Hampton, New Hampshire, and then I hit Europe.
Speaker 1: So those are all the cities I'm gonna re reminding you.
Speaker 1: If you know anyone in those cities, let them know
Speaker 1: they have a fun night comedy awaiting them just down
Speaker 1: the street. You can go to nikolaser dot com for tickets.
Speaker 1: I would love to see you there. As always there
Speaker 1: meet and greets available. If you go alone, I will
Speaker 1: grant you a free meet and greet. You just have
Speaker 1: to write me going alone in all caps, your name
Speaker 1: and the city in which you're going to see me.
Speaker 1: Nothing else. You don't even need to write thank you.
Speaker 1: If you write anything else, it will actually UM make
Speaker 1: it so I don't see the message. But you must
Speaker 1: start the message with going alone and don't follow it
Speaker 1: up with anything, because otherwise I won't see it. It's
Speaker 1: very weird how it works. So thank you so much.
Speaker 1: And I hope I get to meet you. And if
Speaker 1: you don't go alone, meet and greet tickets are available
Speaker 1: at the merch booth and I've got some sick merch
Speaker 1: this time around too. I can't wait to see you.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to perform for you. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to meet you. Come on out Iowa this weekend, in
Speaker 1: California next weekend. All right, we're back. Uh busy weekend
Speaker 1: here in l A. I did eighteen sets in six days,
Speaker 1: so you're slowly getting back into it. Eighteen or nineteen,
Speaker 1: I would voice after its UM Saturday, it was like
Speaker 1: I was like I overdid it because I didn't also
Speaker 1: plan on working all day Thursday on a TV show
Speaker 1: that I did UM called That's My Jam, which UM
Speaker 1: with Jimmy Fallon and um Jay Pharaoh, and I would
Speaker 1: I don't want to give away the whole cast because
Speaker 1: it probably hasn't been announced. They'll be like, don't give
Speaker 1: it away. Even it's like yes. So I just taped
Speaker 1: a second episode. They called me like the night before um,
Speaker 1: because I guess, you know, someone fell out. But it
Speaker 1: was I love getting last minute bookings because that then
Speaker 1: I dread it for weeks. Not dread it, but I like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I gonna wear? And this way
Speaker 1: it was just like I couldn't even think about it. Um.
Speaker 1: But it was really really fun. And then on and
Speaker 1: then I had four sets that night, and then the
Speaker 1: next day I had to shoot this video for Vice.
Speaker 1: They're doing some documentary about uh sex in the nineties,
Speaker 1: and so I did uh kind of talking heads type
Speaker 1: interview thing in downtown Manhattan, which is just you know,
Speaker 1: the whole time we're rolling, I'm like, why would you
Speaker 1: shoot anything in downtown or dot dot sorry, downtown l A?
Speaker 1: Why would you shoot anything in downtown l A? Like
Speaker 1: we got interrupted by just a guy screaming, another time
Speaker 1: by like a guy playing trumpet, um, by ambulances like
Speaker 1: every three seconds. It was like it was a nightmare,
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't spay two I had to repeat everything twice.
Speaker 1: It was just downtown l A is scary hotel cecil
Speaker 1: vibes and uh, I'm sure there are people that lived
Speaker 1: on there, like it's amazing. But I know that trumpet player,
Speaker 1: he's like cool, he's like different. We had to go
Speaker 1: pay him to move. Yeah, the pa which is smart,
Speaker 1: moved by him. He just picks the hot like the
Speaker 1: I saw. This woman had the best sign a homeless woman.
Speaker 1: She goes too ugly to be prostitute, and that was
Speaker 1: her sign, and I just I wanted to give her
Speaker 1: all the money. Honey. I thought it was like the
Speaker 1: best sales pitch I've ever Yeah, I love a good
Speaker 1: um self deprecating. Yeah, the ones that are like I
Speaker 1: am going to spend this on booze? What else would
Speaker 1: I spend it? Just be honest. We like honesty and
Speaker 1: too up to be a prostitute is but that it's
Speaker 1: it's not true if we've seen Yeah. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't want to give I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to tell her like, hey, get out there and do it.
Speaker 1: But she gave her money though, And how was the
Speaker 1: hand job? It was fine. It was a little rackety.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a word. I mean you
Speaker 1: look a little rackety. There's a tennis racket that seemingly
Speaker 1: looks like it's coming out of your skull from behind you.
Speaker 1: That old thing. It's funny, you know what. You know
Speaker 1: what kind of racket it is? What a head? You
Speaker 1: don't even like? Do you play tennis? I did for
Speaker 1: a little while, but now my hamstrings can't handle it,
Speaker 1: you know hams. But whatever. Yeah, no, I played a lot.
Speaker 1: I like, you know, I lived the retired lifestyle in
Speaker 1: Florida for like six years, and I would just play
Speaker 1: with a bunch of old people, like literally like fifty
Speaker 1: five and older, just classic group classes. And then just
Speaker 1: for pickle ball took over because now everyone plays pickleball.
Speaker 1: This is pre pickle Yeah, why did you pick a
Speaker 1: ball just suddenly come out? Like who is inventing new sports?
Speaker 1: I think it's just a mixture of ping pong and tennis.
Speaker 1: You don't have to try too hard. But where was
Speaker 1: it before squash? It was like squash like it was
Speaker 1: you know, there were a game similar that. Pickleball is
Speaker 1: like the poor man squash. I guess you know, it's
Speaker 1: anyone can play it. It's easy, don't know, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: blowing up. It's wild but a little bit. I mean
Speaker 1: I would if anyone called me to be friends, you know, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I would. I think it's a fun sport, like yes, Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, so you did four sets that night and
Speaker 1: then I did that. Then on Friday I did four sets,
Speaker 1: and then Saturday I did four sets, and last night
Speaker 1: I did one set and uh and also Saturday I
Speaker 1: went to we went to breakfast with Chris's co workers.
Speaker 1: It was so fun and then we Um, I was
Speaker 1: walking down in Santa Monica and um walked past this
Speaker 1: like kind of vintagey store with like cool old like
Speaker 1: sports shirts and like just my favorite kind of store,
Speaker 1: Like I love that's where I get a lot of
Speaker 1: my shirts. Is you you pay like a hundred dollars
Speaker 1: for these shirts, but they're just like any band used
Speaker 1: to be into any sports anything like and um, but
Speaker 1: Chris material like that good half and half. This is
Speaker 1: an urban out fitters, like trying to recreate things on
Speaker 1: a nice feeling shirt. Yeah, it's like the only kind
Speaker 1: of age you can get from a shirt that's been
Speaker 1: around since six Like it has to have lived that life.
Speaker 1: There's ways that they can kind of they try to
Speaker 1: recreate it, you know, just have like they pay a
Speaker 1: lady to stomp on it with heels. But it doesn't.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't do. Chris used to leave his shirts
Speaker 1: out on his roof in Brooklyn for like a year,
Speaker 1: and the weather just rain and then snow, and then
Speaker 1: you would get them in a year and they would
Speaker 1: all be like really smart us as ship rags by homeless.
Speaker 1: But that's when you know they're Yeah. I walked by
Speaker 1: the store and I kind of just was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to go in there, but Chris has already
Speaker 1: called our uber, and I was like, I kind of
Speaker 1: just want to go home. Had a piece so bad,
Speaker 1: So I walked by and then we're waiting on the
Speaker 1: corner of our Uber, like a few blocks away, and
Speaker 1: I get a text from Scott Rogowski. If you don't
Speaker 1: know who that is, he's a comedian and he used
Speaker 1: to be the host of HQ Trivia back when that
Speaker 1: was like the biggest in the world an trivia. Chris
Speaker 1: didn't know about him, like, how did you miss a
Speaker 1: Q Trivia? I think he was living in Dubai at
Speaker 1: the time. Video. Yes, it was two years of mute
Speaker 1: it really, yes, absolutely and so um Scott wrote wrote
Speaker 1: me it was like, did you just walk by my store?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, that's right. He has a store now.
Speaker 1: So it's called Quiz Quiz Daddy Vintage and it's on
Speaker 1: Main Street in uh Santa Monica. And I was like,
Speaker 1: well canceled Lueburn come back and so we went back
Speaker 1: in there. It was so much fun just hanging out
Speaker 1: with him. I knew him from back in the younew Scott, right,
Speaker 1: I met him like once or twice, but he has
Speaker 1: his own store, Like he opened a store. So this
Speaker 1: guy he's been collecting. Listen, we can do everything. Comedians
Speaker 1: are continue. Well, Scott had began collecting like in high school,
Speaker 1: like he would just go to thrift He would go
Speaker 1: thrift ng for himself and he would come across like
Speaker 1: a shirt that wouldn't fit him or maybe wasn't the
Speaker 1: team that he liked. But he's like, I can't leave
Speaker 1: the shirt for two dollars that I know it was.
Speaker 1: If it was my team, I would pay so much.
Speaker 1: So he started just collecting these shirts and it just
Speaker 1: became his thing. He would go on the road, he
Speaker 1: would go thrift ng and he amassed hundreds and hundreds
Speaker 1: of shirts, collectors items, and then he just decided he
Speaker 1: like had a website in two thousand three that didn't
Speaker 1: really do anything, and he was like I always kind
Speaker 1: of he and he goes, I realized I have O
Speaker 1: c D. I was diagnosed with O c D. I
Speaker 1: was diagnosed with like a D eight. Like he was like,
Speaker 1: all these things helped me realize, like, oh, I'm I
Speaker 1: collect things. Everything's in pristine condition. Like I am around,
Speaker 1: like looking through the racks and he's like fixing the
Speaker 1: racks after I touched them, and I'm like this guy,
Speaker 1: He goes, I just got diagnosed with O c D.
Speaker 1: I was like, I could have done that in thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: I told you this back in two thousand and eight
Speaker 1: when I met you. Um, but he he has the
Speaker 1: store is so awesome, and um, I found a sweatshirt
Speaker 1: he gave me half off. It was really nice. And
Speaker 1: um he had a hamps r and a dog there.
Speaker 1: It's just a cool store. And it was cool because
Speaker 1: Chris was kind of going reluctantly, like meeting my friends.
Speaker 1: And then christ is in there and Scott's like, you
Speaker 1: into Cardinals. Here's my cardinals rack. You into missoo, here's
Speaker 1: the like he had so much stuff, like and there
Speaker 1: were people that just kept walking in being like do
Speaker 1: you have this like minor league baseball team that's, you know,
Speaker 1: twenty miles outside of phill And he's like, I think
Speaker 1: I do back on this right, He's got everything. So
Speaker 1: if you quiz Daddy, it's q V Queen q d
Speaker 1: V q d V quiz Daddy vintage UM on like Instagram.
Speaker 1: But I it was so much fun and then UM.
Speaker 1: Then yes, Saturday night a bunch of sets and Chris
Speaker 1: came with me, ran around town and then last night
Speaker 1: I just had one set and I regretted taking it
Speaker 1: because I just wanted. I'm I'm staying out on the
Speaker 1: West Side, so it's like twenty three minutes for me
Speaker 1: to get to the improv from where I'm lip staying.
Speaker 1: And that's with no traffic, and I you know, at
Speaker 1: the time of nights I'm leaving, there's no traffic. But
Speaker 1: it is just like it's an hour total commute to
Speaker 1: go do one set, and it's sitting in an uber
Speaker 1: and the uber sometimes smell or they just have like
Speaker 1: loud music. It's just like you can't I can't be
Speaker 1: on voice notes, I can't be talking to friends. So
Speaker 1: there's a little bit of that that's annoying. But um,
Speaker 1: last night I thought there would be no one at
Speaker 1: the improv. It's a Sunday night. I it's the first
Speaker 1: time I've ever worn athletisure on stage because I was
Speaker 1: like on the couch watching Love Is Blind. My hair
Speaker 1: was wet out of the shower. I have no makeup,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, I'm like, oh shoot,
Speaker 1: I gotta go makeup. That was really good lyrics. It
Speaker 1: really was like whatever she just said, listen back and
Speaker 1: no makeup on the couch watching the vis Blond, I've
Speaker 1: got to do set. It starts Set nine. It's signed
Speaker 1: thirty and twenty three minutes away, texting Christ Burns that
Speaker 1: I'm going to be so late. So then I get
Speaker 1: in the uber and yeah and so he it was
Speaker 1: his show. I get there. Ali Wague had just gotten offset.
Speaker 1: It is completely sold out. There are besties there that
Speaker 1: I go best day and these sweet girls are so adorable.
Speaker 1: We're like there and um, I got on stage and
Speaker 1: immediately apologized for my look, even though I look like
Speaker 1: most men. I put it like men wear exactly what
Speaker 1: I wear, and it looks like they're dressed up, but me,
Speaker 1: I looked like a schlub. Um had a fun set
Speaker 1: and um, and then came home and then UM. All
Speaker 1: I've been able to do is think of Taylor Swift, though,
Speaker 1: like every morning I wake up with a new song
Speaker 1: in my head. I am about fifty of the lyrics
Speaker 1: memorized from twenty songs, and that is not that's without trying.
Speaker 1: I gotta put in some more effort. I want to
Speaker 1: get them all memorized. I want to start. I'm just
Speaker 1: overwhelmed with what her concerts are going to be though.
Speaker 1: I just she has she has not been on tour
Speaker 1: since before Lover, since Reputation. So we now have the
Speaker 1: album Lover that has never been performed live Folklore evermore,
Speaker 1: all the re releases from Red and from Fearless and
Speaker 1: now um Midnights with the seven bonus tracks, there's literally
Speaker 1: a hundred new songs that are added to her repertoire
Speaker 1: of already a hundred and fifty songs. I don't think
Speaker 1: anyone has more of a catalog of music than she does.
Speaker 1: And I'm stretched out about Oh it's coming, Yeah, apparently
Speaker 1: like it's it's you know, people were speculating, like I
Speaker 1: work for the Bank of America Center and someone has
Speaker 1: put her this place on hold for five shows in
Speaker 1: the summer of two thousand three. So EGO happened and
Speaker 1: I'm very excited. Um, yeah, how is your weekend, Andrew?
Speaker 1: It was good. I did shows all weekend. Heather McMahon
Speaker 1: was in town and so I got her. Dude, her
Speaker 1: crowds are just I can't even explain the amount of
Speaker 1: cheetah I saw some of it. I think was real.
Speaker 1: I think still alive. It was. It was fun. It
Speaker 1: was literally like women. I started playing a game, I go,
Speaker 1: are you gay? Are you d u? I like, if
Speaker 1: your wife is going to get a d U? I
Speaker 1: like that, that's so funny that. So I just started
Speaker 1: playing with every guy like gay or d u? I
Speaker 1: gay or so that I had fun. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: just like so many women like and are they classic
Speaker 1: like comedy fans, stand up comedy fans, or is it
Speaker 1: a little bit of is this like the first comedy show.
Speaker 1: I think it's a little bit of that. They're very
Speaker 1: like like encouraging, like she feels like a like a
Speaker 1: Ted Talk kind of thing, and then they're like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: you're telling like left turn jokes, like like kind of thing.
Speaker 1: But um, it was a lot of fun. It was
Speaker 1: so fun and you had a good time with her.
Speaker 1: Did you guys like hang out during the day do stuff? Uh,
Speaker 1: not that much, but like you know, after show we
Speaker 1: went to Sasha's wine bar like Thursday night and that
Speaker 1: that's a great you know St. Louis nothing stays open
Speaker 1: past midnight, and I don't really understand, like these plays,
Speaker 1: I don't l Yeah, we have to get far. I
Speaker 1: like that. I like when places closed early because then
Speaker 1: I get to go home early. There's no it's almost
Speaker 1: like a rainy weekend. Like on Saturday, we're begging for
Speaker 1: it was so overcast. Were like, please rain, so we
Speaker 1: have an excuse to stay inside. It happened a little bit.
Speaker 1: Starts sprinkling on Saturday night, but yeah, that's just volcano
Speaker 1: ash or some talk like models crying. That was um,
Speaker 1: I forgot to leave that. One part of it that
Speaker 1: was the most cool thing about this weekend is that
Speaker 1: you kind of there's not usually a lot of comedians
Speaker 1: in town or like headliners in town on the weekends
Speaker 1: because they're usually out on the road, and so there's
Speaker 1: always like a couple and we're doing all the same shows.
Speaker 1: But paton Oswald and I last weekend, for this past week,
Speaker 1: we're on the same like let's just binge sets. Like
Speaker 1: we even talked on Saturday Night. We were like, we've
Speaker 1: seen each other now like six times we've been on
Speaker 1: the same show. Six times we were on the same
Speaker 1: show either he was bringing me up, I was bringing
Speaker 1: him up and so, and we've known each other. He
Speaker 1: used he did my show Not Safe on Comedy Central,
Speaker 1: and but we really got to know each other this week,
Speaker 1: and it was so nice because it was almost like
Speaker 1: we were like the way that you and Heather were
Speaker 1: working together, like Patton and I were working together, and
Speaker 1: we uh. And then it all led to Saturday night
Speaker 1: and Pat and I were both like talking about like
Speaker 1: that's the best way to get material written is not
Speaker 1: to sit home and write, but it's just just book
Speaker 1: as many sets as possible and don't leave even time
Speaker 1: to think. Because we were talking about this theory of
Speaker 1: like he was like, you and I read about it
Speaker 1: somewhere very recently, but they didn't experiment where they had
Speaker 1: people who had never done pottery before um work all
Speaker 1: month to make one pot, and at the end of
Speaker 1: the month they worked so hard, work on one pot,
Speaker 1: and at the end of the month, that will be
Speaker 1: your pot, and you could do it. You can start
Speaker 1: over as much as you want, but it's one. And
Speaker 1: then they had another group of people that did a
Speaker 1: new pot every day, and you just have to make
Speaker 1: a new pot every single day by the end of
Speaker 1: the month. The people that did the some people that
Speaker 1: were just on the one pot, some people by the
Speaker 1: end of it, but most the most successful people were
Speaker 1: the ones doing it every day and starting a new
Speaker 1: pot and just creating something every day as opposed to
Speaker 1: like And I think that's where I struggle with writing
Speaker 1: songs is because I want that first song to be perfect,
Speaker 1: when really I should just make a bunch of ship
Speaker 1: every day, right another ship thing, and then by the
Speaker 1: end of it, it will I'll figure it out. And
Speaker 1: so I think we can all kind of use that
Speaker 1: as an example of how to approach life. Is like,
Speaker 1: stop being obsessing over this one thing so much. Just
Speaker 1: make as much as possible, and then you will slowly
Speaker 1: give yourself a little apprenticeship of what you want to accomplish,
Speaker 1: and then when you get and you make it, then
Speaker 1: that pot eventually at the end of the month, it's
Speaker 1: going to feel so fucking good because like you did
Speaker 1: so many little pots, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: it's the work that got there. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think like you want the song to great. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you want you want the song to be great, But
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know. I just think like it's
Speaker 1: it's so hard to put out a bunch of ship
Speaker 1: because it hurts, right, but you don't put it out
Speaker 1: as the thing. You just give yourself a month, Like
Speaker 1: if you're gonna give yourself a month to put out
Speaker 1: a stand up bit, you know, and you're like, I
Speaker 1: want this bit to be perfect in a month instead
Speaker 1: of just working on that bit or that set. You're
Speaker 1: like like, I just think that it's about just like
Speaker 1: working on just working all the time, like constantly just
Speaker 1: starting and just and not not being precious about your work.
Speaker 1: I think is the thing. So like last night I
Speaker 1: got so like Chris and I were like I was
Speaker 1: trying to get him to watch Love Is Blind. I
Speaker 1: had to go to a set and he's posting something
Speaker 1: for the Courtney Show and he is not someone who
Speaker 1: like goes on social media a lot and like knows
Speaker 1: the wild ways of it. But I think this is
Speaker 1: a very common thing for even people who do do
Speaker 1: it a bunch. But he is like, you know, he
Speaker 1: wants the music in the background of the story to
Speaker 1: be perfect, he wants the caption to be perfect, he
Speaker 1: wants the clip to be exactly like the funniest parts
Speaker 1: that I'm like, it doesn't matter that much, Like he
Speaker 1: had been working on in an hour, and I go, Babe,
Speaker 1: I can't, Like, you can't give this an hour of
Speaker 1: your time, like you know what, people aren't even getting
Speaker 1: watch these no offense, Like I just know how it works.
Speaker 1: It's on your story for twenty four hours. It doesn't
Speaker 1: even last longer than that. You cannot And then I
Speaker 1: just started like mocking him, and like it was it
Speaker 1: became really fun because I'm like, oh, I'm still working
Speaker 1: on the music for it, and that looks like no
Speaker 1: one's gonna watch like it was, but it was he
Speaker 1: he need he needed me to kind of. It was.
Speaker 1: It's weird because it's like I don't want to insult
Speaker 1: something that he cares about and he's working on, but
Speaker 1: I also need to get it through to him, like
Speaker 1: this preciousness is holding you up in life and I'm
Speaker 1: projecting to like being too precious about Like, you know,
Speaker 1: when I put out clips online, I don't I don't
Speaker 1: ever put out clips because they need I either put
Speaker 1: out a clip because I've just given up and I'm
Speaker 1: just like whatever, I'm just gonna put it up and
Speaker 1: I don't look at it at all, or I've just
Speaker 1: only picked the one that is perfect, and I think
Speaker 1: it's just you just need to put out more stuff.
Speaker 1: That being said, I just got on the camera today
Speaker 1: and the first thing A bitched about was seeing like
Speaker 1: I'm you know, we're waiting to start the show and
Speaker 1: I come across someone's video of their stand up and
Speaker 1: I I've muted so many people on Instagram from these
Speaker 1: shitty stand up clips. I can't take anymore talk about
Speaker 1: They're making a pot every day and it does not
Speaker 1: hold water. It is I need to see something better
Speaker 1: than this ship. Like I don't see their final product
Speaker 1: ever getting better. I mean, I know why they do it,
Speaker 1: don't they do it? Well? I know why they do
Speaker 1: it for the algorithm. No, not just that though people
Speaker 1: don't want to even if it matters or not. They
Speaker 1: don't want to release their actual material that would end
Speaker 1: up on an album or on a on a special,
Speaker 1: so they put out crowd work because, right, more material,
Speaker 1: that is my point. Right, more material that you don't
Speaker 1: care about, right, jokes that are just for that town
Speaker 1: or something like. This CrowdWork stuff has got to stop.
Speaker 1: I am who likes watching crowd work unless it's someone
Speaker 1: throwing a hand at your head. I just can't. Your
Speaker 1: crowd work clip was actually like had some substance to it,
Speaker 1: but I am just like, there are eight seconds long.
Speaker 1: It's literally and nothing happens. Nothing literally the audience has
Speaker 1: something funny, like the audience member, let's put that guy
Speaker 1: on stage? Can everyone? I'm just begging busties who are
Speaker 1: savvy consumers, don't give these people that looks watches anymore,
Speaker 1: like please, I I just these people are getting too
Speaker 1: much validation for this stuff, and like, do not be
Speaker 1: tricked into thinking this is funny. Really assess it, Like
Speaker 1: is this funny? Could I have come up with something
Speaker 1: funnier in like three seconds? You probably could have, because
Speaker 1: this stuff A lot of times they'll just go they'll
Speaker 1: repeat the person and then laugh and then it ends
Speaker 1: on the comedian laughing at the thing. If you watch
Speaker 1: a clip and it ends with the comic laughing, and
Speaker 1: that's or just like just it's just I don't know
Speaker 1: list because I don't I need to make more pots
Speaker 1: every day. But it's just it's not well you have
Speaker 1: You're in a situation where it would be if you
Speaker 1: put up like let's say you have a great new
Speaker 1: two minutes. If you put that up, would you have
Speaker 1: to burn it because it will be on HBO, it
Speaker 1: will be on Netflix for you. You wouldn't feel bad
Speaker 1: about no, because people that watch HBO, or people that
Speaker 1: watch Fallon or people that watch they're not also on
Speaker 1: all the platforms and they forget and and there's no
Speaker 1: law about that. Like it is shitty. If you put
Speaker 1: a joke at a special, then you do it in
Speaker 1: another special, there's no laws against it. But it's shitty
Speaker 1: and everyone will know you're a piece of ship. But
Speaker 1: if you put something on Instagram and then it ends
Speaker 1: up in a special, no one, even in the common community,
Speaker 1: is going to think that you're lame. It's from you.
Speaker 1: You wrote that, like like you that's a fan. It
Speaker 1: makes me feel like, oh, I'm a better fan because
Speaker 1: I've joke on Instagram. Yeah yeah, yeah, I think like
Speaker 1: some comics they'll do a thing where they go, uh,
Speaker 1: give me a topic at the end, so then they
Speaker 1: do all these topical topics, so then they have it
Speaker 1: for for Instagram. So like especially during like check spots,
Speaker 1: they'll be like, what do you want to talk about?
Speaker 1: And someone will go, you know, Brad Pitt or Mark
Speaker 1: Norman is good at that because he writes jokes beforehand
Speaker 1: for those subjects and sometimes he gets lucky that he
Speaker 1: can think of something funny. But Mark Norman doesn't put
Speaker 1: up every fucking thing he says that might get a
Speaker 1: titter of laughter. And and I'm so tired, Like there
Speaker 1: are people on Instagram like I guess it's just me
Speaker 1: being I just should be positive about all of it.
Speaker 1: Everyone's doing great and I'm happy for everyone, but they've
Speaker 1: found away. I'm so happy that stand up comedy is
Speaker 1: so fucking low. And you know what, you'll see it
Speaker 1: when you go see these people live, how disappointing it is.
Speaker 1: They cannot They will not be able to sustain an hour.
Speaker 1: Crowd work is fun and you get away with doing
Speaker 1: it and getting laughs for at least four minutes. But
Speaker 1: if you're not actually good at it beyond that, you
Speaker 1: have to return the material. And these if you are
Speaker 1: going to see someone that only does crowd work and
Speaker 1: on Instagram, I think you might be disappointed when you
Speaker 1: see them. But maybe I'm wrong. Um somebody do with podcasting.
Speaker 1: Even people will do like for TikTok, they'll be like,
Speaker 1: let's say like me and you, like we right like out,
Speaker 1: like you say this, I'll say this, and then you
Speaker 1: say that, and then we'll both end in and go,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's real ship. Like people are like
Speaker 1: making fake control. They aren't really, I swear if you
Speaker 1: go on TikTok, you can see that it's like literally
Speaker 1: like made up making scripted moments that at least thing scripted.
Speaker 1: The dances are scripted, the conversation scripted. What's real, Like
Speaker 1: couples going have you seen you know some of the
Speaker 1: couples that like set up things in the kitchen like
Speaker 1: they just happen and it's the worst acting on earth.
Speaker 1: That's my favorite subreddit. It's something like it's one of
Speaker 1: my favorites. It's it's like why was is being filmed?
Speaker 1: And it's like it's just that calls out, let's take
Speaker 1: a break. If you ever see it, Like, it's like
Speaker 1: a minute to think. If you look at a clip
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, that's so crazy that
Speaker 1: that happened, think about why was this being filmed, because
Speaker 1: otherwise it's probably fake if there wasn't a natural like
Speaker 1: reason unless I ring camera caught it. You know. Um.
Speaker 1: It's so everything is fake and it's exhausting, and I
Speaker 1: need to do more of it. I think that's why
Speaker 1: I'm resentful of it. I should just be positive. I
Speaker 1: should try to find the positives in it, because there
Speaker 1: are so many things on Instagram that I love, so
Speaker 1: many clips and of people's that do delight me. But
Speaker 1: I nice that we both have partners that like they
Speaker 1: don't care about getting views or like they don't want
Speaker 1: to make those videos with us, which sometimes I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: I kind of wish I dated TikToker. And then I'm like,
Speaker 1: and then I watch a Tiktoker's video and I can
Speaker 1: only imagine how many times they went through and it
Speaker 1: used a whole That was that girl that I got
Speaker 1: jealous of. I sent her to Noah the other day
Speaker 1: because and I was like who is that girl that
Speaker 1: you said was so triggering And I was like, proceed
Speaker 1: with caution, and I sent it. But like her and
Speaker 1: her partner makes so many videos together all the time,
Speaker 1: and I was so jealous because I'm like, and then
Speaker 1: you think about it, like really thing, and you're like,
Speaker 1: thank god I could separate two things. Yes, I love
Speaker 1: that too, Like I have a boyfriend who doesn't care
Speaker 1: about being famous, doesn't it, but also doesn't care if
Speaker 1: I am famous, Like that is because that is such
Speaker 1: a hard thing to find, someone who like appreciates people
Speaker 1: who are famous, like he loves Patton Oswald. He was
Speaker 1: totally delighted this weekend that we got to hang with
Speaker 1: certain people and like, we got to hang out with
Speaker 1: Paton Oswald. I got to talk to him about Young Adult,
Speaker 1: which is one of my favorite films. We got to
Speaker 1: talk to him about Veep, which he is in, and
Speaker 1: and just I mean it was it was so cool.
Speaker 1: I talked to him about some theories I have about
Speaker 1: shooting my next special, and he was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I want to direct your next Like we were just
Speaker 1: like having We're growing down and it was so fun.
Speaker 1: And but Chris was like Chris is able to appreciate
Speaker 1: those moments and not be like jaded by them and
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, that was so freaking cool,
Speaker 1: but also like not care that did not care to
Speaker 1: be the center of attention, which I don't relate to
Speaker 1: it all I could. I don't understand someone who doesn't
Speaker 1: want to be in the spotlight. I'm so grateful there
Speaker 1: are people like that though, because it would be exhausting otherwise.
Speaker 1: But you have the same things. It is nice. I mean, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's sometimes I would I mean, because she
Speaker 1: she is someone, she's gorgeous and obviously would help my
Speaker 1: like my algorithm would be better to more I poes Brenna.
Speaker 1: But then I feel like when you do put the
Speaker 1: camera on her, she it's not like she's like no please,
Speaker 1: like she's down. It's up to you though, to like
Speaker 1: do it. She's not like oh yeah, yeah, but it's fine,
Speaker 1: Like it's just like yeah, when you see it, it
Speaker 1: is like, oh my god. Can you imagine if she
Speaker 1: was putting up like thirst traps and like to like
Speaker 1: do makeup tutorials where she's just like you know, bent
Speaker 1: in front of the camera showing up for tits and
Speaker 1: like not it's not really about the makeup. It's just
Speaker 1: about guys. Like imagine coming on her like she's like
Speaker 1: playing with a hose in the yard, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: we live in apartment building. How did you even get
Speaker 1: in that yard? You would be I mean, it would
Speaker 1: be so annoying to have someone as needy as you
Speaker 1: and I on the other side of you and I.
Speaker 1: It's just it would be. It can only be one
Speaker 1: person like this in a relationships. Need to be a
Speaker 1: ledge head. Okay, let's get let's we'll do top one
Speaker 1: bottom one when we get back after this. Alright, we're back,
Speaker 1: Let's do top one, bottom one. Noah, what's this category today?
Speaker 1: Today's category is pizza topping Pizza toppings, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: are the only things I eat now. I order it's
Speaker 1: my new favorite food. I order a pizza, a large
Speaker 1: pizza with a ton of with yeah because it's too
Speaker 1: and with a ton of veggies. Um, I don't do
Speaker 1: cheese because I'm vegan. And then I just eat all
Speaker 1: the toppings, and then I get a size salad and
Speaker 1: I have the crunch with the salad that I need
Speaker 1: that's like more of it's not so wet and Uh,
Speaker 1: it is so good. I've done it. It's my new thing.
Speaker 1: I'm no shame. And then I said, and then the
Speaker 1: people that wait just comes to collect the plate and
Speaker 1: she's just like okay, and I'm like, I know I
Speaker 1: wasted a crust, but like it's too hard to explain
Speaker 1: what I want and you guys don't have the ability
Speaker 1: to make it back there unless the crust is the plate.
Speaker 1: Yeah it makes sense. Yeah, yeah, the crust just acts
Speaker 1: as the perfect like little bull for it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's great. But let's talk about toppings. Um, let's start
Speaker 1: with bottom the worst topping. God, it really depends on
Speaker 1: who's making the pizza too write Like for me, like
Speaker 1: certain places like Pepperoni would be great, but in other
Speaker 1: places they're too thick and it's like too much. Let's
Speaker 1: say where you're going this is you're going to a
Speaker 1: new pizza place that don't know if anything about, and
Speaker 1: you're just like you've heard they have the best topics,
Speaker 1: they have the best version of everything. So let's just
Speaker 1: assume they have the best version of everything. All right,
Speaker 1: So worse for me has it's gonna probably be controversial.
Speaker 1: Mushrooms can't stand them, don't don't like them. I don't
Speaker 1: understand the texture. I feel like I'm eating like like
Speaker 1: a rubber like soul of a shoe. It doesn't do
Speaker 1: anything for me. I could still you meant like a
Speaker 1: soul like s o U L S. Yeah, which is
Speaker 1: a most worse than the actual s O L E.
Speaker 1: Because the shoes soul is just like I've been walked
Speaker 1: on my whole life. Yeah, and they claimed to be
Speaker 1: a fun guy. They're not. Yeah, fun fun fun guy
Speaker 1: clipped that. Noah, just that part. Oh my god, we
Speaker 1: wrote it out beforehand. That was a great job after it.
Speaker 1: You really made it seem like just off the cuff.
Speaker 1: Thank fan things. We got it. We got it. Um
Speaker 1: mushrooms interesting, Noah, what is your least fave? I just wanna, like,
Speaker 1: wholeheartedly disagree with Andrew's mushrooms. Okay, because let me just say,
Speaker 1: if we're going to mushroom, fresh mushrooms are amazing, Like
Speaker 1: a fresh mushroom, like, I want the mushroom to be dry.
Speaker 1: I don't like marinated mushrooms. I don't like canned mushrooms.
Speaker 1: Pizza mushrooms. No, I get fresh mushrooms all the time
Speaker 1: on pizzas and it's delicious. Don't like eating raw mushrooms,
Speaker 1: but I like cooked mushrooms. Yeah, but if they're raw
Speaker 1: and they go in the pizza raw, they'll get cooked
Speaker 1: in the other heat. Yes, yes, yes, okay, okay. My
Speaker 1: least favorite topping, which I find to be so disgusting
Speaker 1: on the pure sausage. No, but you're close. It's chicken.
Speaker 1: I just chicken. I be so disgusted by chicken and cheese.
Speaker 1: It just grosses me. It's disgusted. It tickled me. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I thinkled me really even like chicken,
Speaker 1: like a chicken parm like like that. No, chicken and
Speaker 1: cheese's what do you like with chicken? Just barbecue? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fine. But just the thought of like two separate
Speaker 1: animals coming together like that, like the chicken with like
Speaker 1: the milk that is supposed to be for like the
Speaker 1: baby colf like, I just it just disgusted me. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, man, some chicken pizza, chicken and broccoli
Speaker 1: they would do with like ricotta is pretty good. Like
Speaker 1: I've never loved a chicken on a pizza when I
Speaker 1: used to eat chicken, even like even the barbecue chicken
Speaker 1: pizza cp K. When I used to work there, people
Speaker 1: used to love that, and I get it, but it's not.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't feel like pizza just feels like an
Speaker 1: entirely different dish um At least favorite topping is anything olive.
Speaker 1: I hate the cheese. What did any kind of olive?
Speaker 1: You said, I hate the juice? And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you just picture like olives having like a lot of
Speaker 1: juice with them, and I don't like it. But if
Speaker 1: I just and the soul of an olive is just
Speaker 1: it penetrates, It makes ever the whole pizza turn into
Speaker 1: an olive. I don't like it. It's like that with
Speaker 1: the grapefruit, like it takes over everything. Yeah, I hate
Speaker 1: green olive. I don't ever even seen them, but that
Speaker 1: discussed me so much to think of, like the little pimento,
Speaker 1: like the little piece of that red part. The texture
Speaker 1: of olives. Just go funk yourself, I don't I don't
Speaker 1: mind an olive spread. Anyone to put olives on their fingers,
Speaker 1: those fucking freaks. Have you ever seen those people? We'll
Speaker 1: come down alive fingers. My little brother used to eat
Speaker 1: him out of the can, and I it. I get
Speaker 1: liking like I love. I love eating gigantic amounts of pickles.
Speaker 1: I love eating pepper and chenies lunch. Yes, it has crunched.
Speaker 1: It's not just like a home like it's just like
Speaker 1: mushroom mushroom me but almost more texture yikes. And the
Speaker 1: taste is just so bitter. Not a fan. Um. And
Speaker 1: they're like they're so packed with like I mean, I
Speaker 1: know they have a lot of good stuff in it
Speaker 1: for you, but like that that's very very caloric vegetable
Speaker 1: for too much for me. Like, I just I don't
Speaker 1: mind about it. I actually don't mind. I don't mind
Speaker 1: taste or like the I'll spread, it's the texture. I
Speaker 1: don't like any taste of it. I don't like. I
Speaker 1: don't like pimento spread, any kind of spread. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so that's mine. Um, let's do the best pizza topping.
Speaker 1: Best pizza topping. I would have to say green pepper.
Speaker 1: What I don't know. I have a sad pineapple and
Speaker 1: I thought that would blow them roof off. Bro I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess people can go either, but green pepper, Like
Speaker 1: why green pepper too? By the way, when I buy
Speaker 1: many peppers to eat out of the bag, they are
Speaker 1: red they're yellow and they're orange. There's no greens because
Speaker 1: green are gross. They have a different taste. Why are
Speaker 1: green peppers the number one pepper for pizza? Why not
Speaker 1: red peppers? Why not yellow peppers? Why not orange peppers?
Speaker 1: I think, I don't know. I think the green sticks
Speaker 1: out from the tomatoes on anything else. Do you eat
Speaker 1: green peppers in any other way? I used to be
Speaker 1: addicted to pepper, green peppers. My grandma would cut them up,
Speaker 1: and I don't know. I love them. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was really into peppers. Do you like red peppers
Speaker 1: and yello peppers? Do you ever eat those? I eat
Speaker 1: them like an apple. I love them. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't discriminate, I don't. I don't see there's a difference
Speaker 1: between them. Andrew, the taste of a green pepper is
Speaker 1: so different than a red or yellow pepper. You don't
Speaker 1: know the difference. I honestly, I really don't. I'm not
Speaker 1: playing dumb here. I just I never Maybe with the
Speaker 1: other ones that are sweeter, it is cheaper. It's always
Speaker 1: cheaper at the supermarket. It is, and maybe that's why
Speaker 1: it's a more popular topping. Try next next time you do,
Speaker 1: try a green pepper and a red pepper. Like see
Speaker 1: how they taste different because they are vastly different, like
Speaker 1: a saute onion, caramelized onion. Yeah, caramelized onion. But I
Speaker 1: would think hungry. I know that sounds so good. Uh Noah,
Speaker 1: what is your favorite pizza topping? I don't know whatever.
Speaker 1: Maybe because you got because you're vegan, maybe I didn't
Speaker 1: go you would put meat, you would pick meat. Otherwise, well,
Speaker 1: green pepper with pepperoni. So I guess they kind of
Speaker 1: go together, like some of these best toppings need a
Speaker 1: friend and they come together at a point. Yeah, alright, well,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm thinking about like, if I would see
Speaker 1: this on a menu, I would definitely order it. And
Speaker 1: I gotta say I love figs on a pizza. D's wild, dude,
Speaker 1: it's just wild. If I never even seen if I
Speaker 1: got a pizza, mind not, I just am not fancy
Speaker 1: enough places. Maybe I had a fig and bone marrow
Speaker 1: pizza one time, which bone marrow was surprisingly so good.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I mean I wouldn't eat it now,
Speaker 1: but that was delicious. If you are someone who eats animals,
Speaker 1: figs they have like the drizzle, isn't it like drizzled
Speaker 1: with honey. That's the kind of pizzas like figs, and yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. Yeah, figs. Do you know our like wasps
Speaker 1: have wasps in them like a fig? A fig cannot
Speaker 1: exist without a wasp dying inside of it. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's google it, google it. This is
Speaker 1: so true, I promise you. I think this is the
Speaker 1: most wild statement we've ever heard on this podcast. Who
Speaker 1: wants to bet me? What's an applecroy? A bunch of bees? Andrew?
Speaker 1: That wasn't the line that we rehearsed for this club.
Speaker 1: He look into it. Noah, Okay, there's big wasp fig. Alright,
Speaker 1: Well I have to read. It's like a whole big article.
Speaker 1: I have to this. Well, well, he will get to it.
Speaker 1: Are there wasps and figs? Here's the answer. I recently
Speaker 1: dropped a fortune on a hall of purplish figs at
Speaker 1: the farmer's market. What was I gonna make? What wasn't
Speaker 1: I going to make? The I learned that many figs
Speaker 1: are POLLENI had by fig wasps, and that those tiny
Speaker 1: bugs die inside each fleshy pod. The bounty in my
Speaker 1: fridge suddenly took on a sinister quality. I needed to
Speaker 1: know where all my figs filled with dead wasp? The
Speaker 1: answer I learned is both yes and no. Okay, Figs
Speaker 1: have many secrets. They are actually inverted flowers. Each hollow
Speaker 1: ball of vegetable tissue is lined with hundreds of tiny
Speaker 1: buds that bloom inside the pod. The flower that's in
Speaker 1: certain edible varieties produce a fruit covered seed, which is
Speaker 1: what gives figs some of their iconic crunch. Technically, they're
Speaker 1: known as Adgar gate Buddaba who gives a ship um.
Speaker 1: These days, many of the figs varieties that we buy
Speaker 1: in grocery stores and at the farmer's work in the
Speaker 1: US don't require pollination. Okay, so the ones that don't
Speaker 1: require pollination? So what's the deal with thig wasp? Because
Speaker 1: sweet shy figs bloom internally, many of the eight hundred
Speaker 1: plus varieties across the world require an intimate type of
Speaker 1: pollination to ripe it into an edible fruit. All figs
Speaker 1: are made up of both male and female flowers, but
Speaker 1: the only ones, the ones we eat, are generally harvested
Speaker 1: from dio sieges species deciduous. No, it's d I O
Speaker 1: E C I O u s dios diosus. In these
Speaker 1: about four varieties, all the figs on each tree behavior
Speaker 1: who get to the wasp bitch to pollinate these species?
Speaker 1: A female fig wasp just a couple of millimeters long,
Speaker 1: forces her way into a non edible, unripe, male behaving fig,
Speaker 1: where she lays her eggs and the flowers along the way.
Speaker 1: Her antennas snap and her wings are yanked from her body.
Speaker 1: It's a tight squeeze, says Shanahan, leaving her no way out.
Speaker 1: Her wingless male offspring mate with a winged female offspring
Speaker 1: yes their sisters before using their huge jaws to chomp
Speaker 1: tunnels through the fig that will allow the ladies to leave,
Speaker 1: But before she bids a jew that fertilized female wasp
Speaker 1: collects pollen from the male flowers. Then she squeezes. Who
Speaker 1: gives a ship. There's wasp in figs, is all I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It is a thing, and the ones that don't have
Speaker 1: them are engineered by humans. But most figs have a
Speaker 1: dead wasp inside them. I rest my case. Um, so
Speaker 1: Noah likes dead wasps on her pizza. Good to know. Um,
Speaker 1: my favorite pizza topping is also a combo. But because
Speaker 1: I'm a vegan, I can't add of one of the things. Broccoli.
Speaker 1: Broccoli and pizza is my favorite thing. Ever. If you
Speaker 1: have that on your menu, I will eat your pizza.
Speaker 1: I will not eat the toppings of a pizza if
Speaker 1: it doesn't have broccoli involved. It's such an essential item.
Speaker 1: But I will say if I was still a if
Speaker 1: I was a non vegan, ricotta ricotta on a pizza,
Speaker 1: a ricotta dollop, which, by the way, vegan ricotta. I'll
Speaker 1: just go there. Vegan ricotta on a pizza the best thing.
Speaker 1: I just love that creamy like dollarp I love like
Speaker 1: a little little bulb of of ricotta. It's so freaking good.
Speaker 1: Garlic on pizza is good too, But I don't like
Speaker 1: bulbs of garlic. It's too much. It's just it looks
Speaker 1: like a little gush or of garlic, and it makes
Speaker 1: your breath stink and your body sink for like days. Ricotta.
Speaker 1: I learned that you can add it to any pasta,
Speaker 1: and then it didn't hit me until I was forty
Speaker 1: one years old that you can. You can make anything
Speaker 1: of lasagna, any kind of Italian and you can make anything.
Speaker 1: It's so good. You don't have to wait for lasagna tota.
Speaker 1: But even if you have cold ricotta in your like
Speaker 1: refrigerator and you get a pizza, just put some cold
Speaker 1: ricotto like that coolness on top of the hot pizza
Speaker 1: is delicious. Ricotta is so good. More ricotta. I'm with you.
Speaker 1: Put in your spaghetti, put it on there, put it anywhere,
Speaker 1: but as a Turkey sandwich but not Italian. Just just
Speaker 1: don't wait till design you put it on your chicken. Um.
Speaker 1: Have you guys been going out to eat a lot recently? Andrew,
Speaker 1: have you guys gone to any good places? You went
Speaker 1: to Sasha's well the other night doing shows Antonio Antonio's
Speaker 1: Ta Varna, the one that's up on the hill, that's
Speaker 1: like famous broaded toasted rabs, and like toasted ravioli. I
Speaker 1: do enjoy a toasted rabs Louis tradition. Yeah, it's a St.
Speaker 1: Louis tradition. I don't know if I like a ravioli
Speaker 1: with meat more over cheese, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like or like other stuffing them? Yeah? Yeah, they all
Speaker 1: have meat. I guess that's the other. I like the
Speaker 1: dusting of parm i, like a little yeah, palm dust
Speaker 1: is solid, and I love a a red sauce. I
Speaker 1: always get red sauce on the side. I got broccolini
Speaker 1: this weekend, and I was just dipping it, like picking
Speaker 1: up by the stock and dipping it in the tomato
Speaker 1: sauce and going, I'm just lowering it into my mouth.
Speaker 1: It is like, I feel like that's my problem with
Speaker 1: most pizza places. They do not put enough sauce. Do
Speaker 1: you ask for extra sauce on the side and order
Speaker 1: it extra sauce. I learned it from my dad. Get
Speaker 1: extra sauce on the pie and then also get a
Speaker 1: little get sides of sauce if you're dining in, like
Speaker 1: gotta get in. I love sauce so much, love dressing, love.
Speaker 1: But I mean I I like to say, like I combine.
Speaker 1: I put things on top of salads all the time.
Speaker 1: Final thought. Chris and I went to brunch yesterday in
Speaker 1: this place had nothing for me. They had like vegan burritos.
Speaker 1: I don't really eat bread or carbs. Don't come at
Speaker 1: me about it. It's just a thing I just don't.
Speaker 1: I would rather eat anything else than that too. Like
Speaker 1: it's just so it just feels to me like a
Speaker 1: waste of food, Like I don't taste it enough, it's
Speaker 1: too dense. I want to eat, Like I can eat
Speaker 1: like six plates of vegetables for one tortilla. I would
Speaker 1: rather eat the vegetables, so because I like to consume
Speaker 1: mass quantities, So I'm like, maybe I'll just eat the
Speaker 1: insides of this burrito. God, I'm so bombed. And then
Speaker 1: I saw that they had scrambles on the side, and
Speaker 1: then um, they's like I just made a plate of sides.
Speaker 1: I got two tofu scrambles with kale. Then I got
Speaker 1: some fake bacon. Then I got a side salad. So
Speaker 1: I have literally made this meal. I have four sides,
Speaker 1: and I and then the genius of just always getting
Speaker 1: a side salad and then getting sides and then you
Speaker 1: put it you all, you mix it in the salad.
Speaker 1: So I had a tofu scramble with kale on top
Speaker 1: of a salad with tempay bacon inside, and I'm mixed
Speaker 1: it all together, and I put saracha and I put
Speaker 1: some of the salad dressing, and it was just this
Speaker 1: big mash of deliciousness. And I'm gonna go back there
Speaker 1: every day of my life because it was the best
Speaker 1: meal and I'm thinking at it right now is so
Speaker 1: freaking good. But I just no more shame about like
Speaker 1: I have to eat exactly what they give me, or
Speaker 1: like I feel so scared of making adjustments, like I
Speaker 1: am all for having a meal made of appetizers, or
Speaker 1: just I go to an Italian restaurant, I don't eat pasta,
Speaker 1: and I start to freak out because I don't like pasta,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, everyone's gonna be mad at me, and
Speaker 1: they're gonna think I'm like dieting. I just don't want
Speaker 1: pasta for my dinner. I get a bunch of fucking sides,
Speaker 1: and then I get a side salad. I have that
Speaker 1: fresh crunch with the cooked vegetable on top. You have
Speaker 1: the crunch, and you have the lightness that you have
Speaker 1: like the oily like that. Oh it's so good, and
Speaker 1: then the red sauce that you can dip all over it.
Speaker 1: It's so freaking good. Um. Being a vegan can be
Speaker 1: so fucking amazing, and I love it. I love the
Speaker 1: food that I get to eat, and like all the
Speaker 1: combinations I get to come up with, and it's my
Speaker 1: mouth is watering. I'm so fucking from and I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I already ate breakfast um Chris over the weekend.
Speaker 1: You know, I told you last week that he got um,
Speaker 1: I got that new like ring that is for self defense,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, the knife ring. Well, then Chris on
Speaker 1: top of that, because I was telling him like, you know,
Speaker 1: I get scared running and he really understood it. And
Speaker 1: I was like, and also this, you know, he feels
Speaker 1: like he like kind of drugged me out here because
Speaker 1: it's his job that he's working on here, and so
Speaker 1: I think that he's like any kind of alarm I have.
Speaker 1: He wants to like assuage my fears. So he bought
Speaker 1: me a mace to where yeah it's pink, pink mat
Speaker 1: matches my ring and matches the mic um and I
Speaker 1: was so happy about it. And then a box arrived
Speaker 1: the next day and it's another mace, and I go,
Speaker 1: what do you think I'm going to run out of mace?
Speaker 1: What's going on here? Like you think I'm gonna use?
Speaker 1: Why do I need to? And he's like take it,
Speaker 1: take back, take back. You have to be because you're
Speaker 1: bad one for you to like, oh is it sorry?
Speaker 1: We didn't get it? If you're sorry, Andrew yeah, So
Speaker 1: the mace with the way the wind blows. Yes, just
Speaker 1: be careful when you use it outside because it could
Speaker 1: you imagine. Oh, I always I had a joke before
Speaker 1: that was like I can't use mace because I'll unless
Speaker 1: I can spray it and then have the criminal like
Speaker 1: walk through it like I do with perfume, Like I
Speaker 1: never get perfume. I never spray in the rejection. However,
Speaker 1: this is the gel kind, which I've always been recommended,
Speaker 1: is better than like the spray kind, because the gel
Speaker 1: will be direct shot like hard. Like. He also got
Speaker 1: me a arm band that shoots off a insanely loud
Speaker 1: noise up to a hundred thirty decibel alarm heard up
Speaker 1: to a thousand feet away. So I am ready to
Speaker 1: be attacked at any time, so come out. It's like
Speaker 1: that thing though, It's like if you bring out all that,
Speaker 1: then you are going to get attacked, like you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's like the secret like, oh, if I bring
Speaker 1: all this ship, like if if I'm running without anything,
Speaker 1: maybe tell you. When I run without anything, I get
Speaker 1: really scared. Like when it starts to get like dark,
Speaker 1: I start to get, Like I start to jump at
Speaker 1: the smallest thing, like I just like someone asked me
Speaker 1: for direction. I was like, I like jump into a
Speaker 1: I start fighting back. Like but if I'm already have
Speaker 1: these things, I'm not. I just feel okay, and it's
Speaker 1: nice to like, you know when I used to have
Speaker 1: the Tiger Lady, and I would use that be going
Speaker 1: to a parking lot and a little bit nervous. I
Speaker 1: just know I'm ready. Like there's there's so many times
Speaker 1: I found myself as a woman where I'm like, I
Speaker 1: am not ready at all. I would I would get.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about knowing jiu jitsu and self defense.
Speaker 1: I know I wish I wanted to learn that stuff,
Speaker 1: but I just can't wait for you to get your
Speaker 1: pink A R fifteen everything. Oh here's they have Azon guy? Now,
Speaker 1: I mean, does they anon sell guns? But I guess
Speaker 1: they can't, but they would if they could, for sure,
Speaker 1: I'm sure in some states. Maybe yeah, I'll try to
Speaker 1: get one maybe here. I watched The Last Dahmer. Did
Speaker 1: you guys did you watch that yet? Andrew haven't the
Speaker 1: last watch the last I did watch the last episode? Yeah, first,
Speaker 1: and the last book that's so weird that you watched. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we watched The Thought the other night and uh, Andrew
Speaker 1: Chris fell asleep as you're watching it, so I had to, like,
Speaker 1: you know, live his death alone. But I was so scared. Um,
Speaker 1: it was really good and interesting. I just think that
Speaker 1: series is so well done and it's funny because he's
Speaker 1: great with John Wayne Gacy. The last episode is John
Speaker 1: Wayne Gacy. Oh yeah, I also watched like the first
Speaker 1: the first step and then the last one, so like
Speaker 1: him dying at the end, Like I felt sad because
Speaker 1: I didn't watch all his murders, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like I was just like, why is this poor guy
Speaker 1: who found religion getting murdered? Yeah, you wanted to sweep
Speaker 1: And I mean I thought his dad was like the
Speaker 1: most sympathetic character of the whole thing. Was so sad
Speaker 1: to me, like now, and I cried when his dad
Speaker 1: said he forgave him. That is That's the feet of
Speaker 1: that show, is that it's a you're able to find
Speaker 1: humanity in this person that was like not had no
Speaker 1: remorse or like no decency for someone who was not
Speaker 1: really human, but who really like that's what John you know, Um,
Speaker 1: Dahmer is in jail when John Wayne Gesy gets caught
Speaker 1: and they're comparing the two and he's like, I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm anything like him. This guy he won't admit
Speaker 1: to what he did. I admitted everything. He's saying that
Speaker 1: it's a lie. I say I did it all, and
Speaker 1: it's like that is that is unfortunate. You can kind
Speaker 1: of see the sadness in him of like why am
Speaker 1: I this way? I really couldn't help but be like this,
Speaker 1: And even Nisi Nash's character is like I know that
Speaker 1: he it's some there's something wrong with his brain and
Speaker 1: that he couldn't help it. But I can't help but
Speaker 1: hate him. I hate him and I want pain to
Speaker 1: happen to him. And it is There's something I liked
Speaker 1: about it because I'm a big advocate of there's no
Speaker 1: free will and people that you know act in these
Speaker 1: heinous ways really don't have a choice. They were always
Speaker 1: going to do it. They're like, if you had their brain,
Speaker 1: you would do it too. You would do everything that
Speaker 1: these people did. Um, if you had Damer's brain, you
Speaker 1: would have Damer. There's nothing if you had his life,
Speaker 1: his family, if you grew up like him, you would
Speaker 1: have done the exact There's nothing that you would have
Speaker 1: done differently. It's like, like, it's just because he was
Speaker 1: given that brain and you were given yours, and it's
Speaker 1: easy for us to go, how could he do that?
Speaker 1: It's like, but you don't, so I owe it. Ever
Speaker 1: since reading Free Will by Sam Harris, I've felt that
Speaker 1: way about any kind of criminal, any kind of person.
Speaker 1: I still get mad at people and go, how could
Speaker 1: they do that? But I can always kind of get
Speaker 1: to the place of like, well, it's it's not their fault.
Speaker 1: They were just I'm just lucky I didn't have that
Speaker 1: brain to to post that clip of me doing terrible
Speaker 1: crowd work, Like it's not their fault that they think
Speaker 1: that's a good idea, you know. But um, but I
Speaker 1: thought the show actually like uncovered that and gave people
Speaker 1: a little insight into their not being free will and
Speaker 1: that no one really has a choice in the matter
Speaker 1: of things, which is a sensitive subject. I know, we
Speaker 1: have to go, Um, We're gonna be here all week.
Speaker 1: This is just the beginning of the show. I'm going
Speaker 1: to Atlanta on Wednesday to shoot a show on Thursday,
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna be on the road. Um, but well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be in l A until December, living
Speaker 1: my life here out in Santa Monica. I wouldn't viewed
Speaker 1: a house yesterday to or a condo that was next
Speaker 1: to the Airbnb and seeing at to just tour around
Speaker 1: and look inside and just you know, starting to think
Speaker 1: about the future. But buying a house, I just I
Speaker 1: don't think I can do it. It just seems like
Speaker 1: too much money and you're responsible for everything, and I
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I don't understand why people buy
Speaker 1: houses or have kids. I wish Taylor Swift had a
Speaker 1: thing about not buying houses to a song about that
Speaker 1: it's easier with the landlords. That would be the song
Speaker 1: she bought, you know what I mean. But there is
Speaker 1: a house where she goes and then it was bought
Speaker 1: by me, where she's talking about how it's ironic that
Speaker 1: you said that the last grade American didncy if you
Speaker 1: want to look at it. Okay, guys, we'll be talking
Speaker 1: to Taylor Swift all this week. If you have any
Speaker 1: questions specifically about that, I'd love to answer them on
Speaker 1: the show. Oh I didn't get to uh. The controversial
Speaker 1: moment in the anti hero video where she stands on
Speaker 1: a scale and it says fat. People are freaking out
Speaker 1: about it. We'll talk about it tomorrow on the show.
Speaker 1: I'll give you my hot take. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening to the show. Don't Beka and Jack Antonof
Speaker 1: is a producer. I was gonna say anton Off too,
Speaker 1: I swear you think of his last name. I was
Speaker 1: just gonna say the guy from Bleachers,