Speaker 1: On the bel Cast, the questions asked if movies have
Speaker 1: women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands,
Speaker 1: or do they have individualism? The patriarchy? Zef In best
Speaker 1: start changing it with the Bedel Cast. Caitlin, I can't
Speaker 1: do this podcast. What why? It's just gonna lead to
Speaker 1: another clue and that's gonna lead to another clue. And
Speaker 1: I've lost twenty years of my life to this and
Speaker 1: I can't do it anymore. I'm not gonna do the podcast. No,
Speaker 1: that's me cause playing against John Voight that was great,
Speaker 1: wouldn't be funny. If you're like, I can't do this podcast,
Speaker 1: It's just gonna lead to a spinoff podcast, and that's
Speaker 1: going to lead to the podcast, which is how that works.
Speaker 1: And soon enough will have wasted twenty years on this bullshit.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the first quarantined becdel Cast. Yes, we are
Speaker 1: recording separately in separate places. Um, we're meeting up over
Speaker 1: Google Hangouts. Wow, shout out to Google, my King King Goog.
Speaker 1: This is gonna be the two of us today and
Speaker 1: we are doing National Treasure. I mean we figured, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a tough time. We we got to bust out
Speaker 1: some of the some of the some of the best
Speaker 1: movies in American cannon to really tide you over during
Speaker 1: this bizarre time. So and we also we will be
Speaker 1: able to have guests over Google. Everyone is very quickly
Speaker 1: adapting to this new and terrifying world we're in, so
Speaker 1: that's good. Yes, so we will do some Quarantine episodes
Speaker 1: with guests, um, but for today, it's just the two
Speaker 1: of us. We really wanted to pick a bit, like
Speaker 1: a really escapist media get people's minds off the pandemic.
Speaker 1: I thought we chose it because it's a very time
Speaker 1: Emily critique of I thought we were like, now more
Speaker 1: than ever, the content of National Treasure is very relevant.
Speaker 1: I mean, I cannot wait to talk about the socialist
Speaker 1: ending sort of of the movie, right, the redistribute to
Speaker 1: the people vibes, You're like, Okay, ne Gage, pretty, Bernie Sanders, God,
Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't even know where to start
Speaker 1: with Justin Bartha, I forgot that. We I like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, we have so we're going to just have
Speaker 1: fun today. We hope that you enjoy the episode. We
Speaker 1: got very positive feedback when we tweeted that we were
Speaker 1: going to be doing it so oh my god. Justin
Speaker 1: Bartha's Wikipedia picture is literally a head shot from twenty
Speaker 1: years ago. How embarrassing for him? What? Okay, well, we're
Speaker 1: talking about National Treasure today and it's going to be
Speaker 1: an absolute treat it will. Yeah, you're welcome, everybody, and
Speaker 1: if you're if you're not familiar with the podcast, is
Speaker 1: your maybe first episode? I hope, So I hope people
Speaker 1: are getting into it in the car on you know
Speaker 1: those like um Instagram story templates that are going around
Speaker 1: where it's like, my favorite podcast is this The one
Speaker 1: that makes me laugh the most is this one? And
Speaker 1: then like some of them are like the one I
Speaker 1: just discovered and a bunch of people have tagged us
Speaker 1: like under that category is like the one they've just
Speaker 1: like a podcast they've just discovered. So I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's some newcomers still every every day welcome and that
Speaker 1: will lead to you and not lead to another podcast,
Speaker 1: and that will lead to another podcast and then we'll
Speaker 1: be locked in our house for toys. There's there's so
Speaker 1: many perfect line reads in this movie. It really boggles
Speaker 1: the mind. Oh my gosh, Nicolas Cage, what what what
Speaker 1: is he doing? Truly an icon? What is he ever doing?
Speaker 1: That's why we love him so anyway, we we are
Speaker 1: a feminist movie podcast. We use the Bechdel Test as
Speaker 1: a jumping off point to initiate a larger conversation about
Speaker 1: representation of women in cinema. The Bechdel Test, of course,
Speaker 1: is a media metric created by cartoonist Alison Bechdel, sometimes
Speaker 1: called the Bechdel Wallace Test, and it requires that two
Speaker 1: female identifying characters who have been named speak to each
Speaker 1: other about something other than a man, and by our standard,
Speaker 1: it just has to be a two line exchange. So
Speaker 1: we'll see if National Treasure can manage to pass the
Speaker 1: Bechdel Tests. But if you're just listening at home, take
Speaker 1: a wild guess, just take a what do you think that?
Speaker 1: What are your instincts tell you? And then for this movie,
Speaker 1: really trust those instincts. Um they're Caitlyen. What is your
Speaker 1: personal history with National Treasure one? Um. I decided to
Speaker 1: take it upon myself to watch it for the first time,
Speaker 1: maybe like two years ago. I had never seen it,
Speaker 1: like for sure going to cover this pretty much. Um, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I never saw it. I didn't see
Speaker 1: in theaters, never saw it growing up, never saw the
Speaker 1: sequel until yeah, just a couple of years ago, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, I wonder if this is any good,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch it. And then I watched it and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, this is surprisingly better
Speaker 1: than I thought it was going to be. But I
Speaker 1: didn't see this sequel until like yesterday, and I was like,
Speaker 1: fuck it, I'm gonna watch the National Treasure to watch that.
Speaker 1: I mean the scene I have not seen National Treasure too,
Speaker 1: and the scene you sent me is so like, is
Speaker 1: this going to be the first episode where we have
Speaker 1: to use audio clips because it's literally yes, you can't
Speaker 1: describe it? Really? Let me play the one from the
Speaker 1: first movie. You have them both? Yes, here is okay,
Speaker 1: here we go, Okay, I wish what whoa? My god?
Speaker 1: He was born to deliver that line? And then wait,
Speaker 1: do you have the one from National Treasure two? So
Speaker 1: I have the one from National Treasure to which is
Speaker 1: basically a freakishly identical line read for an equally wildline. Okay,
Speaker 1: show how am I going to get him alone? And
Speaker 1: then a kidnapping to prison United? Oh god. John Voight
Speaker 1: is in this in that scene too where he goes
Speaker 1: what there? Why is John Void in this movie? I
Speaker 1: just like, I mean, I can't with John Voight. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will say just a couple of words when we
Speaker 1: get into this discussion about national treasure too, because we
Speaker 1: are focusing on the first one. But I like Helen Mirren,
Speaker 1: isn't it I did know that? What does she do? Oh?
Speaker 1: Just wait, Okay, I'll leave some clues and then maybe
Speaker 1: you'll figure out what the clues mean, and then maybe
Speaker 1: you'll she is Nicolas Cage's mom, So I'm just giving
Speaker 1: it away. Okay, So she's Oh, she plays John Void's
Speaker 1: his wife, Yes, well his ex wife, his ex wife.
Speaker 1: But I feel like the first movie makes you think
Speaker 1: that she's dead, but she's not. They bring her back
Speaker 1: to life and it's Helen Mirren. Okay, because they do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the first one, John voids like you need to
Speaker 1: appreciate the time you have, like the time with your mother,
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, that's a weird way to describe
Speaker 1: a divorce. If the way like what you should have
Speaker 1: just been a better husband. I don't know. And she
Speaker 1: she addresses that, Helen mare and is like, you were
Speaker 1: a really bad husband who didn't pay any attention to anyone,
Speaker 1: but you're stupid treasure stuff. So he's this poor family
Speaker 1: and their treasure related trauma. It's so sad, it's tragic.
Speaker 1: So anyway, Jamie, what is your history and relationship with
Speaker 1: National Treasure. I love this movie so much. I saw
Speaker 1: it in theaters twice. It's still I Oh, I was.
Speaker 1: I was twelve when like I was like I was
Speaker 1: the target demo for National Treasure. I loved it. My
Speaker 1: cousins loved it, My brother loved it. My favorite bad
Speaker 1: movie season of all time, the Holiday movie season of
Speaker 1: two thousand four. You've got phandom of the Opera, you've
Speaker 1: got National Treasure, you've got the really bad Series of
Speaker 1: Unfortunate Events movie. You've got all hitters of like shitty,
Speaker 1: enduring movies that profoundly affected me. I loved the first
Speaker 1: National Treasure. When I tweeted that we were doing this.
Speaker 1: My mom also, My mom loved this movie so much
Speaker 1: to the point where she brought it us to it
Speaker 1: a second time. And she had the hots for Bartha
Speaker 1: because she like she responded to me with, like, oh
Speaker 1: Riley Pool, what a dreamboats? Like she loves and she
Speaker 1: remembered his character's name. Five years later, So wow, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's impressive. Yeah, I'm I don't. I think that I
Speaker 1: had maybe grown out of it by the time the
Speaker 1: second one came out or something, because I didn't see
Speaker 1: the second one, but I loved the first one so much,
Speaker 1: and I like it's one of those weird, like childhood
Speaker 1: movies where I found myself like remembering lines from it,
Speaker 1: like I for some reason, the twist, maybe one of
Speaker 1: the stupid er twists in the movie that has to
Speaker 1: do with daylight savings time. Yes, you've referred to that
Speaker 1: on the podcast before numerous times. Yes, like for some
Speaker 1: reason really stuck with me. And then seeing where it
Speaker 1: fell and like where in the second act it fell,
Speaker 1: You're like, that's so stupid. What was the point of that?
Speaker 1: That's so easily But there's oh those movie is like
Speaker 1: all flash like guess what, guess what America the Founding Fathers,
Speaker 1: and then at the end they reveal this stolen treasure.
Speaker 1: It's all like the optics of the treasure is not good.
Speaker 1: I mean that's the case with most of these adventure
Speaker 1: like treasure seeking narratives. Same with Indiana Jones. Yeah that's
Speaker 1: not yours. Hey, Hey, I think um, Dora in the
Speaker 1: Lost City handles it well. So if anyone is out
Speaker 1: there looking for a kind of adventure treasure movie, that
Speaker 1: does a good job. Dora was a great film and
Speaker 1: I loved it a lot. So check that out. You'd
Speaker 1: love to hear it. Yeah, no, it's so one of
Speaker 1: my childhood faves. But I hadn't seen it in probably
Speaker 1: ten years or something, so but I still remember too much.
Speaker 1: Turns out it's monumental. Get it monuments he turns out,
Speaker 1: I mean, and then I'm looking back now, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this was a weird couple of years for Justin Bartha.
Speaker 1: This was like maybe his biggest role to date at
Speaker 1: that time, and this was maybe his quote unquote star making.
Speaker 1: I mean, if we're calling Justin Bartha a star, which
Speaker 1: I guess we're not um either way. National Treasure was
Speaker 1: his first big role. Of course, his smaller role before
Speaker 1: that being in Geli, which today was an absolutely cancelable offense.
Speaker 1: But in the early two thousand's there were no rules
Speaker 1: and you could just be in Gelie and the next
Speaker 1: year you could be in National Treasure, and the year
Speaker 1: after that you could be in Failure to Launch. There
Speaker 1: were no laws back then it was very different. It
Speaker 1: was chaos. So anyways, um, this movie rules the rules.
Speaker 1: And speaking of chaos, let's do the recap. Oh, how
Speaker 1: do you read? I do not envy right now? How
Speaker 1: does one recap? National did my best? From the writers
Speaker 1: that brought you snow Dogs and Bad Boys Too comes this. Yes,
Speaker 1: the credited screenwriters for this movie are Jim Kove, Cormack, Wibberly,
Speaker 1: and Mary and Wibberly. So two men and one woman.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that there is a female writer on this movie,
Speaker 1: and I think that perhaps Abigail's character is slightly better
Speaker 1: written because of her presence. I'm speculating. I mean, I
Speaker 1: would hate to see what this movie would be without
Speaker 1: this without one woman, because she it seems that she's
Speaker 1: the only woman involved at like the higher level. But
Speaker 1: I will say that a lot of times that you
Speaker 1: see a female writer, it's like it seems like the
Speaker 1: quality like she like I I don't mean to lessen
Speaker 1: her role in it, like she it seems like she
Speaker 1: did a lot of I mean, it's National Treasure, it's
Speaker 1: a classic. But a lot of times where it's like
Speaker 1: the one female writer on the team is part of
Speaker 1: a husband wife writing team as opposed to just being
Speaker 1: like hired on. You know, it's just it's the thing
Speaker 1: that we've the one female writer thing has popped up
Speaker 1: for us a lot and a lot of times it
Speaker 1: is because of a husband. I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: feel any particular way about it, but I noticed it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Same anyways, So here we go with the story. We
Speaker 1: meet Ben Gates a k a. Benjamin Franklin Gates, um
Speaker 1: of a horse. He's named after Benjamin Franklin Galen. My
Speaker 1: brother who his name is Ben was so I remember,
Speaker 1: like he was just like immediately like if someone in
Speaker 1: a movie has your name, you're like, yeah, that is me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like spit out my drink. When Christopher Plummer is
Speaker 1: there as his grandpa, like when he's a kid, and
Speaker 1: he's like, okay, Benjamin Franklin Gates, what are you doing
Speaker 1: up here? Imagine being Christopher Blumber, one of the best
Speaker 1: actors ever and then having to say that like it's
Speaker 1: so like it's wild, yes, okay. So we meet him
Speaker 1: as a young boy snooping around the attic of his
Speaker 1: house and his grandfather, Christopher Plummer, comes in and he's
Speaker 1: like his name George Washington Gates. We don't know what
Speaker 1: his name is, right, um, Paul Revere Gates, and he
Speaker 1: is like, okay, you're finally old enough, I'll tell you
Speaker 1: about like our family history. So he tells them about
Speaker 1: this ancient treasure that's been passed around century after century.
Speaker 1: And these guys called the Night Nice are there, like
Speaker 1: some old Christian organization that's vaguely scary, right, They found it.
Speaker 1: They were kind of protecting it for a while, and
Speaker 1: then they later became the Freemasons, or like a certain
Speaker 1: chunk of them broke off and became the Freemasons, and
Speaker 1: some of them were the founding fathers of the United States.
Speaker 1: And they hid the treasure from the British because they're like,
Speaker 1: fuck the British, we have our colonies, now we're cool.
Speaker 1: They hid the treasure and they planted all these clues
Speaker 1: and maps to the treasure in different places, but all
Speaker 1: these clues eventually got lost or forgotten. There's so many clues.
Speaker 1: They'll just lead to another clue and then we need another.
Speaker 1: No more claes. Also, John Voy's characters name is Patrick
Speaker 1: Henry Gates, so they literally just the naming convention. In
Speaker 1: his family is to just have a founding father and
Speaker 1: then Gates, Yeah, that's all You're embarrassing, really honestly, so
Speaker 1: embarrassing for them, like more defined to have to admit
Speaker 1: your name is Benjamin Franklin. Gates, there an embarrassing family. Okay,
Speaker 1: So all the clues have been lost or forgotten except
Speaker 1: for one, and this one clue is the Secret Lies
Speaker 1: with Charlotte. I remembered this from five years ago and
Speaker 1: this movie came out. I'm like, oh, right, the secret
Speaker 1: does lie by Charlotte, but it's the place, not the
Speaker 1: and right. So we learned that several generations of Ben's
Speaker 1: family have been trying to find these clues so they
Speaker 1: can find the treasure. And it all dates back to
Speaker 1: like Christopher Plummer's grandfather, who like was hanging out with
Speaker 1: this I don't even remember the guy's name, but he
Speaker 1: was like the last surviving member of the people who
Speaker 1: signed the Declaration of Independence, and he's like the Secret
Speaker 1: lies with Charlotte. And then with almost any plot point
Speaker 1: in this movie, you can end the sentence with like
Speaker 1: or something and it doesn't really change your interpretation of it.
Speaker 1: You're like, I don't know, like that they're the clues
Speaker 1: are gone or something, and so it's not good. Well
Speaker 1: here's something that I just realized in real time here, Okay,
Speaker 1: So the clue that they have is the secret lies
Speaker 1: with Charlotte, And as we're about to find out, Nicholas
Speaker 1: Cage's character finds the Charlotte. So like, what were all
Speaker 1: those generations of families doing? Like what clues are they
Speaker 1: talking about? Because like he just goes from that one
Speaker 1: clue that they have and he finds the Charlotte, But like,
Speaker 1: what are all these other Like how do they waste?
Speaker 1: Weird to believe that they have been looking for this
Speaker 1: treasure for hundreds of years and have really not gotten
Speaker 1: past the first clue? Right? So right, what are all
Speaker 1: these clues that John Voight is talking about when he's
Speaker 1: like and that'll lead you to another clue? Like which clues?
Speaker 1: But like Ben Gates is just going off of that
Speaker 1: one clue and he finds the Charlotte, Like what are
Speaker 1: what are they talking about? Where has he been snooping
Speaker 1: around for all these centuries? I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: know really understand it, but I do think it's fine.
Speaker 1: I mean, I want to believe that screenwriter Marianne Wibberly
Speaker 1: is making commentary here on male mediocrity and saying that
Speaker 1: because it has to do with the Knights, Templar and
Speaker 1: especially the Freemasons, which still doesn't allow. Well, I have
Speaker 1: that in context, corner, but like a group famously hostile
Speaker 1: towards women, it's just been these guys fumbling around looking
Speaker 1: for what Charlotte could mean for for two hundred plus years.
Speaker 1: Do you think they like went into shopping malls and
Speaker 1: they're like, the sea lies with Charlotte, Charlotte Ruth. I
Speaker 1: thought that maybe we're on the same way. Like that
Speaker 1: was like the secret lives with Charlotte rus The secret
Speaker 1: lives with Charlotte from Sex in the City. Who could
Speaker 1: be the secret could lie with Kristin Davis. We don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't know. These are things people don't think about
Speaker 1: and if they, if they had asked a woman, they
Speaker 1: would have been like, have you considered Charlotte Ruth? If
Speaker 1: you had asked, you know, it's it's it's it's something
Speaker 1: to consider. It is indeed. Okay. So we cut to
Speaker 1: Ben as an adult. He has grown up to be
Speaker 1: Nicholas Cage and he is searching for Charlotte, which turns
Speaker 1: out to be a ship buried in the ice in
Speaker 1: the Arctic, and they explain how that would have happened.
Speaker 1: But I don't understand something. Yeah, he has his is
Speaker 1: this his apprentice? Like? Who is Riley? To him? Like
Speaker 1: his little sidekick? He is basically the animal sidekick. Think
Speaker 1: of Riley as like a little animated squirrel voice by
Speaker 1: Justin Bartha. He basically serves the same function. He's like
Speaker 1: a sexless creature who delivers punch lines, right, Because I
Speaker 1: always this is a Disney movie and we cannot forget that.
Speaker 1: I think that they are using the Disney Renaissance formula.
Speaker 1: But they're like, well, we can't get an animated creature,
Speaker 1: but Bartha is available, and Bartha is the next best thing,
Speaker 1: so they got him in the mix. I think that
Speaker 1: Justin Bartha actually does like he still doesn't make me
Speaker 1: giggle a couple of times. I think they let him
Speaker 1: improvise a little bit. I like when he says this
Speaker 1: car smells weird U and I remember when I was
Speaker 1: a kid racking up. At the end when they find
Speaker 1: the treasure, he's like, it's a tall, bluish greenish man
Speaker 1: with a strange goatee, and then he hugs him, and
Speaker 1: then he hugs I'm like, Bartha's funny, but he is
Speaker 1: just a little like cartoon assistant. Yeah, and speaking of
Speaker 1: like people who cannot be critical of others goatees. Justin
Speaker 1: Bartha got in this movie is did they give him
Speaker 1: that facial hair? It's so weird. I think that they
Speaker 1: just are like, no, he's an adult, you know, because
Speaker 1: he just looks he has such a baby face. Maybe
Speaker 1: I don't know, but like in the first scene when
Speaker 1: they're in the Arctic, he has like just kind of
Speaker 1: like a five o'clock shadow. But then by the next
Speaker 1: scene when they're in the Library of Congress or whatever,
Speaker 1: they've shaved it down, but it's it's still just like stubble.
Speaker 1: It's not like a full beard. It's so weird. It
Speaker 1: sucks um Anyway, So Riley Pool is there with Ben
Speaker 1: in the Arctic. So is Ian. That's Sean Bean's character,
Speaker 1: and then like one or two of his friends. So
Speaker 1: they find the Charlotte, this ship and they go into
Speaker 1: it and the next clue they find on a pipe,
Speaker 1: and the clue is a riddle that Ben figures out
Speaker 1: something must mean that there is a map, an invisible
Speaker 1: nap on the back of the Declaration of Independence, and
Speaker 1: then we're like, what this rules? This is the best
Speaker 1: day of my life. There's a map on the back
Speaker 1: of I wonder do you think this? Okay? Well, actually
Speaker 1: I kind of know the answer, But this seems like
Speaker 1: the part that Nicholas Cage was born to play. But
Speaker 1: I don't what what do you know? It was he
Speaker 1: the original I mean he was. I know that he
Speaker 1: ended up being cast in OH three, but this project
Speaker 1: was in development in the late nineties as well, And like,
Speaker 1: I wonder who else was considered for this part because
Speaker 1: I can't picture literally anyone else on the planet playing
Speaker 1: Benjamin Franklin Gates than Nick Cage. And I don't mean
Speaker 1: that as a compliment. I just can't think of anyone
Speaker 1: else who could who could do it. Well, Okay, so
Speaker 1: they're clearly pulling a lot from Indiana Jones, except character wise, like,
Speaker 1: in no way does Nicolas Cage and his character Benjamin
Speaker 1: Franklin Gates resemble Indiana Jones at all. And I and
Speaker 1: I think that that is a compliment, Yes, sure, but
Speaker 1: like Nicolas Cage isn't the type of like He's not
Speaker 1: an action star, but for some reason, he keeps getting
Speaker 1: cast in action movies. It's a beautiful mistake of history that,
Speaker 1: like one of the strangest men to be born, has
Speaker 1: been pegged as an action hero for some reason. Right,
Speaker 1: I cannot make sense of it, But like, I don't
Speaker 1: know who else was considered. I truly don't know why
Speaker 1: they ended up casting Nicolas Cage in this role. But
Speaker 1: I'm also I'm similarly confused by Tom Hanks being cast
Speaker 1: as the what's his face character from the Da Vinci
Speaker 1: oh um, the whatever that that movie. I read that
Speaker 1: whole book and was like, this is amazing, and then
Speaker 1: the movie ha hack in spite of al for Malina's involvement,
Speaker 1: right A for Molina is in it, He's fully in it.
Speaker 1: He's back in the robes. Baby, you gotta get Malina
Speaker 1: in the Robes. Well, the Da Vinci Code and Angels
Speaker 1: and Demons are basically like National Treasure but in Europe,
Speaker 1: so you know, it's the same type of narrative and
Speaker 1: weird casting choice I think with Tom Hanks, weird casting
Speaker 1: choice I think was Nicolas Cage. But who could you
Speaker 1: picture playing Benjamin Franklin Gates. Who could you picture saying
Speaker 1: I'm going to steal the declaration of end up and
Speaker 1: it's with such conviction. Oh sure, okay, So so the
Speaker 1: way this script is written, yes, only Nicholas Cage can
Speaker 1: do it. I think if they had written another draft
Speaker 1: form for a normal person, it would have gone differently,
Speaker 1: not like the other boys. Want okay, really quick. Just
Speaker 1: because we are in the car, I wanted to say
Speaker 1: that Freddie Molina has been posting the nicest quarantine content
Speaker 1: to his fin stuff. I love it so much. Here's
Speaker 1: my favor post. So it's the picture is this? It's
Speaker 1: Freddy's easy chair with a pile of books next to it.
Speaker 1: Caption says stay at home and avoid close contact please.
Speaker 1: Actors have been doing that for generation. And then it's
Speaker 1: the drama emoji, and then it's the film clapper emoji,
Speaker 1: and then it's a heart and I'm like, you know
Speaker 1: what we are going to be line, He's amazing, What
Speaker 1: a what a funny guy. Why do the imagine parody
Speaker 1: when you could just post that. You know Freddie would
Speaker 1: never participate in something like that, and that is partially
Speaker 1: why um he's one of the only men allowed on
Speaker 1: the show m anyways, Um, well, that feels like a
Speaker 1: good place to take a break, even though we're in
Speaker 1: the middle of the recap. But you know, it's unhinged
Speaker 1: here in quarantine Bechtel cast Land. So we're all out
Speaker 1: of sorts, so let's take a quick break and then
Speaker 1: we'll come right back. Okay, we're back, and we've got
Speaker 1: more recap to do. Yeah, okay, So Ben has just
Speaker 1: figured out there must be an invisible map on the
Speaker 1: back of the Declaration of Independence. And then Sean Bean's character,
Speaker 1: You'll never believe this, but he turns out to be
Speaker 1: a bad guy because not d nine percent of the
Speaker 1: time Sean Bean is playing the bad guy. Well except
Speaker 1: for when he's in Gammul Thronge, that's true. That's one
Speaker 1: of the few exceptions. But he's normally the bad guy,
Speaker 1: and this movie is no exception. And he says, well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence, and everyone's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what is that a hairpiece? That hairpiece.
Speaker 1: It took me twenty minutes to realize it was Sean
Speaker 1: Bean because of that weird blonde hairpiece they like super
Speaker 1: glued to his scalp. It's really bad. But I just
Speaker 1: assumed is that just not his real hair? If it is,
Speaker 1: he's in deep trouble. I like that. I have to
Speaker 1: believe that that's not his real hair, or it's the
Speaker 1: weirdest dye job I've ever. It's a bad cut me
Speaker 1: it's like a natural blonde. Yeah, well, sound off in
Speaker 1: the comments, but I think I'm just really bad at
Speaker 1: telling when someone's wearing a wig. I just assume everyone's
Speaker 1: hair is their actual hair. I don't know now that
Speaker 1: I'm looking at his natural hair, like it could be
Speaker 1: his natural hair. But if so, like for shame on
Speaker 1: whoever was styling these actors, because they gave Justin Bartha
Speaker 1: that goatee and Sean being that haircut. I mean, Nicholas
Speaker 1: Cage's hair is well, but when has that been good?
Speaker 1: I mean it was fine and moonstruck I think, but
Speaker 1: like maybe since the late eighties he's had some really
Speaker 1: weird those hair plugs. Is that's what's happening. I think
Speaker 1: he's rocking some plugs in that tresh. I also have
Speaker 1: curiosities about because this is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. It's
Speaker 1: a Bruckheimer joint, so that brings vneersers because if you have,
Speaker 1: if you're new to the show, we can't stop talking
Speaker 1: about it. Jerry Bruckheimer famously, along with Lauren Michaels, makes
Speaker 1: his actors get veneers and I was keeping an eye
Speaker 1: on it, and I mean Cage for sure has veneers.
Speaker 1: I think it's hard to say whether Bruckheimer was involved
Speaker 1: or whether he got them of his own volition. Diane Krueger,
Speaker 1: I don't know. She may just have gorgeous naturals. Uh
Speaker 1: Sean Bean for sure a veneers and Justin Bartha another
Speaker 1: person who's kind of in the air for me. But
Speaker 1: Bruckheimer does not let narry a crooked tooth on a set.
Speaker 1: You will yank him out and throw in some porcelain
Speaker 1: ones like. It's just it's very dark. The reality of
Speaker 1: a Bruckheimer set. I can't even imagine anyway. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you know we've got Nick Cage. He's got his weird hair.
Speaker 1: He's got also in the second movie. At least in
Speaker 1: the first movie his hair looks passable because he has
Speaker 1: some small sideburns, but they shave his sideburns in the
Speaker 1: second movie, so he just has this weird like mop
Speaker 1: with no it's so weird you, Jamie. I insist you
Speaker 1: watch National Treasure too, I really want. I mean, based
Speaker 1: on that alone, right, um incredible, it's out of control
Speaker 1: and his hair is somehow worse anyway. So Benjamin Franklin
Speaker 1: Gates is like, you can't just steal the Declaration of Independence,
Speaker 1: and Sean Bean is all like, well, I want treasure.
Speaker 1: So they have an altercation about it. There's this big explosion,
Speaker 1: there's much of gunpowder. Then they all kind of runaway
Speaker 1: and part ways, and Ben and Riley have to warn
Speaker 1: a bunch of government agencies that the Declaration of Independence
Speaker 1: is going to be stolen, including they tell Abigail Chase.
Speaker 1: And she works at like the National Archives. I think, so,
Speaker 1: I think, I wonder. I'm curious about the historical accuration.
Speaker 1: I'm like, is her office really just behind the Declaration
Speaker 1: of Independence? Is that a location? And metting this? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know either. It didn't seem real,
Speaker 1: but she's there and she works in the archives, and um,
Speaker 1: she doesn't believe them. No one believes them. So Ben
Speaker 1: is like, well, I guess we have to steal the
Speaker 1: Declaration of Independence for ourselves. Love it. He wants to
Speaker 1: steal it to protect it from Sean Bean before he
Speaker 1: can get to it. So then there's this heist sequence
Speaker 1: and they successfully steal the Declaration of Independence, but Abigail
Speaker 1: is suspicious of Ben while this is happening. This is
Speaker 1: all happening during a gala, and she's kind of tailing him,
Speaker 1: and then Sean Bean is also there trying to steal
Speaker 1: the document, and then there's this big chase scene with Ben,
Speaker 1: the bad guys and Abigail. They fooling her out of
Speaker 1: a tor ruck. Oh my, it's the whole thing. She's
Speaker 1: damn ms old and then she's damseled kind of for
Speaker 1: a second time. She's double kidnapped, right, So Ben saves
Speaker 1: her a k A. He kidnaps her from her previous kidnappers,
Speaker 1: and he and Riley and Abigail get away with the
Speaker 1: real Declaration of Independence, and Abigail is understandably very mad
Speaker 1: that they stole it, but they're like, stop yelling. There's
Speaker 1: so much to talk about with that sequence, um, But
Speaker 1: basically she refuses to let it out of her sight,
Speaker 1: so she agrees to go with them to Ben's father's house.
Speaker 1: Enter John Void, which for context, during his difficult years
Speaker 1: with his daughter Angelina, who by the way, Okay, So
Speaker 1: another movie or another franchise that is very similar to
Speaker 1: National Treasure is Laura Croft. Tomb writer John voy plays
Speaker 1: basically the opposite, the same, but the opposite in the
Speaker 1: sense that in Lotta Craft, John Voyd's character is dead
Speaker 1: but he loves treasure hunting and he loves the clues.
Speaker 1: He loves leaves being clues behind all that. In National Treasure,
Speaker 1: he's alive and he is so over the clues he
Speaker 1: doesn't want any part of it. He's like, um, actually,
Speaker 1: treasure is over. He's so sick of treasure. He makes
Speaker 1: all these weird claims to like I I Also another
Speaker 1: John Voit line that I've remembered from this movie for
Speaker 1: some reason is when he invites everyone in and he
Speaker 1: says something sexist at the door, and then he lets
Speaker 1: them and then he lets me. It's also it's like
Speaker 1: the most frustrating kind of misogynist line because it doesn't
Speaker 1: even make sense where You're like where this is coming from.
Speaker 1: But he lets them in and then he's like, so
Speaker 1: there's pizza in the other room, and you're like, what
Speaker 1: is that line? Like what? How? Why? Does John Voight
Speaker 1: have enough pizza for four people cooling off? And then
Speaker 1: Justin Barthe is like, yum yum. He's the squirrel. He's
Speaker 1: the little animal. He's a creature. He's like, oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. The first draft in the first round of
Speaker 1: National Treasure, Jorgan Johnsin Barthe's character is a little squirrel.
Speaker 1: Never dark, no, no, no, no none. Justin Barthe, I
Speaker 1: mean whatever, if you see his performance in Julie, you'll
Speaker 1: never feel bad for him again. Oh my god, his
Speaker 1: character is so weird. It's so weird. Anyway, So yeah,
Speaker 1: they go to John Voyd's house. Yes, they go to
Speaker 1: John Boy's house. And then they use lemon juice. It's
Speaker 1: literally invisible ink that you would use in like the
Speaker 1: fourth grade, and they bring it out by using lemon
Speaker 1: juice and hair dryers, and they reveal this secret code
Speaker 1: that is on the back of the document and it
Speaker 1: turns out to be a cipher. But they need these letters,
Speaker 1: the do Good letters or something that we're written by
Speaker 1: Benjamin Franklin, the original not Benjamin Franklin. Gates so frustrating,
Speaker 1: it's so embarrassing. Oh I love it. I hope that
Speaker 1: then like there's National Treasure, Like I think National Treasure
Speaker 1: three is allegedly happening. I've heard that, yes, but I
Speaker 1: hope that it's like there's like now another kid in
Speaker 1: the mix, and it's like James Madison Gates needs to
Speaker 1: steal like George Washington's teeth because there's a map inside.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that if that's not the plot,
Speaker 1: then someone in Hollywood is fucking up. Okay, So they're like, okay,
Speaker 1: we need the the Silence do Good letters. But John
Speaker 1: Voight does not have them anymore because he donated them
Speaker 1: because he thinks treasure hunting is silly. He's over at
Speaker 1: treasure hunting made him a bad father right and now,
Speaker 1: and he's making amends by apparently never hanging out with
Speaker 1: his son. So now Ben Riley and Abigail have to
Speaker 1: go to the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia to decipher the
Speaker 1: code using these letters that leads them to the Liberty
Speaker 1: Bell and Independence Hall. And it's also at this point
Speaker 1: in the story when Ben and Abigail start vibing. It's
Speaker 1: like in a dressing room right in an urban outfitters.
Speaker 1: Every other other GIF forever twenty one being like so
Speaker 1: like what's your story? Like what the fund is that? Um? Also,
Speaker 1: and this has already been happening, but um, Harvey Kitel
Speaker 1: is in the movie, and he is I think is
Speaker 1: the FBI. I don't know. He's leading the investigation to
Speaker 1: find Ben and recover the Declaration of Independence. I like,
Speaker 1: I like Harvey Kitel, and he's in it just enough
Speaker 1: you almost forget he's in it, and then he's in
Speaker 1: it again, and then he's gone for an hour and
Speaker 1: you're like, this movie is also too long for what
Speaker 1: it is? Long? Yes, far too long. Also, Harvey Kitel
Speaker 1: is kind of playing the sav exact character that he
Speaker 1: played in Elman Louise, where he's like law enforcement, but
Speaker 1: he's also like, but I want to be your friend,
Speaker 1: Like I'm trying to help you, help help me, help her.
Speaker 1: Hotel has good has like big not all cops energy,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't know how productive this is, right, Like,
Speaker 1: this doesn't seem like I'm not on board with it.
Speaker 1: But then when you put Harvey Kitel in the mixture,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, it's confusing. Also, I wanted to
Speaker 1: just quickly shout out Diane Krueger, a woman that only
Speaker 1: existed for about three or four years and then she disappears. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've seen her in really anything else.
Speaker 1: She actually has, but I'm not giving her enough cry.
Speaker 1: But she I remember her from um Inglorious Bastards. She's
Speaker 1: in that. Um. She was also in a movie I
Speaker 1: never have seen it, never will But Troy comes out
Speaker 1: the same year as I did see that. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: saw that in theaters. That's the That's what I was
Speaker 1: seeing in two thousand four. So she she was Helen
Speaker 1: in Troy. Helen of Troy, got it. Yeah, she started
Speaker 1: the whole war. It's all it's all women's fault. Um.
Speaker 1: So she was like she was a big thing in
Speaker 1: like the mid two thousands. But she's still she's still working.
Speaker 1: She um. I don't mean to downplay her talent, but
Speaker 1: she this was like I think peek her her like
Speaker 1: this and and Inglorious Bastard were her too, like big moments.
Speaker 1: So far. She from Germany, she is. Yeah, it seems
Speaker 1: like I wonder they kind of reverse engineered the character
Speaker 1: to be for her because she is German American. She
Speaker 1: started as a model and then got cast as Helen
Speaker 1: of Troy. And then unlike some model actors ended up
Speaker 1: being a pretty like a solid actor and is the
Speaker 1: still working actor now. He's good for her. The go
Speaker 1: I ask because so she hasn't a German accent that
Speaker 1: Ben Gates detects when he first meets her. But that
Speaker 1: interaction is so weird because he says, oh your accent
Speaker 1: are you Pennsylvania Dutch? And Pennsylvania Dutch for anyone who
Speaker 1: doesn't know refers to Amish people, I'm pretty sure. So
Speaker 1: he's asking her if she's Amish and she's like, no,
Speaker 1: Saxony German or something like why does he think she's
Speaker 1: Amish or why does I don't know? It was just like,
Speaker 1: am I maybe I'm missing something or maybe I'm misinterpreting that,
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, there's no such thing in this movie.
Speaker 1: Like that was a very bizarre and I mean that
Speaker 1: whole interaction is it is unfortunately the most like one
Speaker 1: of the more empowering moments for for Abigail where you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's in charge of the scene. She's telling Nick Cage
Speaker 1: that what he's asking for is unreasonable and stupid, but
Speaker 1: he's still God. And then when he oh, my favorite
Speaker 1: line in the movie that I'm like, what is this is?
Speaker 1: When you know how he like sends her whatever the
Speaker 1: campaign button that she didn't or something, he sends her
Speaker 1: something that she wanted and it's like, hey, babe, good
Speaker 1: talking to you today. L O L love Paul because
Speaker 1: he's Paul in his scenario. But when that arrives, it's
Speaker 1: one of the only interactions with two women in the
Speaker 1: entire movie. Like her, I think her receptionist brings it
Speaker 1: to her and then what does she say? She says,
Speaker 1: I have it written down. She's like, what is this?
Speaker 1: I hope it's not from Stand Stand? When you're like,
Speaker 1: who stand? And why are you? Why they are? The
Speaker 1: fact that they went through the trouble of writing that
Speaker 1: line down and we never find out who Stand is
Speaker 1: or why she can't get rid of him? Is he
Speaker 1: an X? Is he a creep? Like? What is his right?
Speaker 1: Especially because like if we or if we used like
Speaker 1: the metric of the Bechdel tests that like we didn't
Speaker 1: need to know the character's name, because I don't think
Speaker 1: we learned her assistance name, but like they do have
Speaker 1: an interaction where the assistant is like, this just came
Speaker 1: for you, and then Abigail responds by saying, I hope
Speaker 1: it's not from stand but if she, I know, she ruined.
Speaker 1: She like that could have passed, like that small interaction,
Speaker 1: like by someone else's standards, that maybe could have passed,
Speaker 1: but like for no reason, She's like, but I have
Speaker 1: to mention a man's name, like writers would rather invent
Speaker 1: a fictional male character, like a person that. I mean,
Speaker 1: they're all fictional, but like a character that it never
Speaker 1: appears on screen or his referenced again, and that's why
Speaker 1: it doesn't pass the easy. Becktel tests right, Becktel tests light. Um,
Speaker 1: But I just I was really fair. I was, and
Speaker 1: then I paid really close attention to there as the movie,
Speaker 1: saying if Stan ever comes up, he doesn't and I
Speaker 1: don't think so no, no, no, good grief. All right, Well, anyway,
Speaker 1: so they're in Philadelphia now, and then finds a pair
Speaker 1: of old timey three D glasses that Benjamin Franklin invented,
Speaker 1: and he looks through them and sees a clue on
Speaker 1: the back of the Declaration of Independence about a wall
Speaker 1: here at the wall, but they don't know what that
Speaker 1: means yet, and Sean Bean and his goons are right there.
Speaker 1: They're right on their tail, they chase them on foot,
Speaker 1: and then Sean Bean manages to get his hands on
Speaker 1: the Declaration of Independence. And then this is when Harvey
Speaker 1: kitel Catch is up with Ben Gates and arrests him,
Speaker 1: and you know, because it's the low point of the movie, honey.
Speaker 1: Then Sean Bean arranges for Ben to meet him. What
Speaker 1: is Sean Bean's ka I think it's ian Ian arranges
Speaker 1: for Ben to meet him in New York with the
Speaker 1: glasses so that he can get the treasure. And they
Speaker 1: all go to a church on Wall Street, and John
Speaker 1: Voight is also there now because I guess he's been
Speaker 1: kidnapped by the bad guys. But when they go to
Speaker 1: the tomb where they think the treasure is going to be,
Speaker 1: it's empty. And Ben and his dad are like, oh,
Speaker 1: well the lantern. That must be another clue. We have
Speaker 1: to go to Boston. And Sean Bean's like, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: going to Boston, and but they he he's shipping out
Speaker 1: to Boston the job kick Murphy's but he traps Ben
Speaker 1: and his friends and leaves him behind. So while Sean
Speaker 1: Bean is gone, Ben is like, psych the treasure is here.
Speaker 1: And then justin byrthe is likes yes, yes, yes, yes, um.
Speaker 1: And then so they hit some like wall buttons and
Speaker 1: they reveal a secret door that leads to the treasure room,
Speaker 1: but oh no, it's also empty. But then they're like, wait,
Speaker 1: this can't be it. There's gotta be treasure here. And
Speaker 1: then they find like a thing on the wall and
Speaker 1: they put the pipe in it and that unlocks the
Speaker 1: door to the real treasure room, which is enormous and
Speaker 1: it's full of treasure, and everyone's like, yeay, we did it.
Speaker 1: And then this is also the I mean, we know
Speaker 1: the whole time that, like like eighty percent of movies,
Speaker 1: it's sig very clear to us that ultimately this is
Speaker 1: a movie about fathers and sons, right yes. John Voyd's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so proud of you. You're so cool, Ben,
Speaker 1: You're so smart. You did it. Dad's in the audience
Speaker 1: start tearing up like I wish he had said that
Speaker 1: to me. Um. And then Ben calls Harvey Kitel, who
Speaker 1: also turns out to be a freemason. Interesting, right, which
Speaker 1: you're like, weird reveal. Does that payoff in national treasure
Speaker 1: to it all? Or is that just kind of a
Speaker 1: thing that happens sort of because he does. Harvey Kitel
Speaker 1: is back for the sequel. Baby, everyone is back back.
Speaker 1: Everyone's back, yep, I mean Bartha for sure, it is back.
Speaker 1: He's got nothing better to day. He's so do anything.
Speaker 1: Sean Bean is not back because he gets put in
Speaker 1: jail spoiler alert, but he gets replaced with Ed Harris.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a well no, no offense to Bean,
Speaker 1: but that's an upgrade. I think that, honestly, National Treasure
Speaker 1: is a of all the jokey ways that we insert
Speaker 1: Alfred Molina into various cinematic universes. I feel like his
Speaker 1: absence from the National Treasure extended universe is actually glaring.
Speaker 1: It is noticeable. This seems like a franchise he would
Speaker 1: be involved in. I think either as like a professor
Speaker 1: who helps reveal a clue, or if he goes Molina villain,
Speaker 1: which we love to see. But I know why. I
Speaker 1: want to say that Molina was offered Bean's part. But
Speaker 1: you know, and I know what Alfred Billina was doing
Speaker 1: in two thousand four. Was he being a duck doc? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he had a bigger fish to fry that year, honey.
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying for National Treasure three, it's not
Speaker 1: too late, and he does this does seem to me
Speaker 1: like a franchise that he would get offers within he
Speaker 1: thrive right, well, because he's in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, this is his vibe, like he if he's
Speaker 1: not in National Treasure three, something is seriously wrong unless he's,
Speaker 1: of course starring in the respute and movie that I
Speaker 1: will be writing and directing. Incredible. Okay, So so Ben
Speaker 1: calls Harvey Kitel. He turns out to be a freemason,
Speaker 1: and Ben is like, don't put me in jail. Also,
Speaker 1: this treasure should be donated to museums all over the world.
Speaker 1: Give it back to the people. Also, send Sean Bean
Speaker 1: to prison instead of me. And then Harvey Kitel is like,
Speaker 1: cool beans, you got it, dude. That's he's literally what
Speaker 1: he says. He's like, cool freaking beans. Then we cut
Speaker 1: to um Ben and Abigail. They are together, they're holding hands,
Speaker 1: they're kissing. They've negotiated that Ben and Riley each get
Speaker 1: a small percentage of the treasure. I think they split
Speaker 1: one percent, but that was enough to allow Ben to
Speaker 1: buy an enormous state. Riley has bought a very nice car.
Speaker 1: He thinks they should have gotten more of the treasure well.
Speaker 1: And also Riley only got credited as an assistant, which
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily seem fair. It seems like he was doing
Speaker 1: half the work. It's better than what Abigail gets, which
Speaker 1: is no credit at all. Whole I know, well that's true.
Speaker 1: They're like, just don't fire her. Yeah, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you. I have a whole spiel about that, but um,
Speaker 1: let's take another quick break and then we'll come right
Speaker 1: back to discuss. And we're back where do we start?
Speaker 1: I mean, Abigail is the bulk of the discussion to
Speaker 1: be had here. Abigail. I mean, it's I feel like,
Speaker 1: very typical of this franchise, which is like, this is
Speaker 1: like action for it, but it's still an action movie basically.
Speaker 1: But in like many action franchises, there is one female
Speaker 1: character who is vaguely written to seem vaguely empowering but
Speaker 1: ultimately kind of isn't. And then she never has a
Speaker 1: woman to talk to. And I feel that that habit
Speaker 1: trend mistake is held up in National Treasure. Who is it? Yes? Indeed,
Speaker 1: because and I feel like like down to kind of
Speaker 1: I almost want to see if you can map out
Speaker 1: like how this happens, because I feel like this, I mean,
Speaker 1: shout out if you have any similar people that you
Speaker 1: can think of in this genre. But the fact that
Speaker 1: she is at first presented to us as hypercompetent and
Speaker 1: in a place of authority, but that's the only scene
Speaker 1: where that is everything. So it's almost like this like
Speaker 1: whatever trick that writers will kind of play on you
Speaker 1: where they're like, oh, she is really good at her job,
Speaker 1: she's really empowered, has a expertise that is needed for
Speaker 1: this mission, but you're never gonna see her in a
Speaker 1: leadership role again, She's never gonna impact the plot in
Speaker 1: a meaningful way, and the next time you see her,
Speaker 1: she's going to be damseled. So I feel like this
Speaker 1: does happen, I mean, does that happen in the Indiana
Speaker 1: Jones franchise as well? Definitely, especially in the like the
Speaker 1: first in the third one. The female characters in those
Speaker 1: are presented as being like there's kind of a reason
Speaker 1: that they end up being the woman in the story
Speaker 1: because for the first one, Raids of the Lost Dark,
Speaker 1: Marian Ravenwood has the medallion that he needs, so like,
Speaker 1: that's why he approaches her, and then that's like they
Speaker 1: get partnered up from there. In Last Crusade, Dr Schneider,
Speaker 1: she's like a professor of antiquities or some kind of
Speaker 1: some expert in the field of antiquities, and she links
Speaker 1: up with Indiana Jones because she is also looking for
Speaker 1: the Holy Grail. In the second movie, like the one
Speaker 1: female character in that movie just gets like dragged along
Speaker 1: by accident. It's frustrating. I think it is kind of
Speaker 1: like almost a little magic trick that writers will do
Speaker 1: to ward off the feminists, to be like, no, we
Speaker 1: do know what her job is, which is good but
Speaker 1: bare minimum ship, and like, yeah, she is good at
Speaker 1: a job which is good, but it's bare minimum ship.
Speaker 1: And then she's relegated to the sexy sidekick role who
Speaker 1: hangs out with the squirrel right exactly because so she's
Speaker 1: the only major female character in the story, which is
Speaker 1: very typical of this genre. She is only important to
Speaker 1: the story because she gets dragged along, not because like
Speaker 1: she made any real active choice to be a part
Speaker 1: of the story. She gets like literally dragged into the
Speaker 1: scenario which she acknowledges in the movie. Um in that
Speaker 1: line where you know John Voyde like, oh, did Marston
Speaker 1: drag you guys into this? And she's like yes, literally, um,
Speaker 1: but like that's not good enough. Really, that doesn't excuse
Speaker 1: that being the reason that she's there. Um. And then
Speaker 1: like you said, like she's she we know her job is,
Speaker 1: she's good at her job. She has this expertise in
Speaker 1: historical documents and US history, I guess, and that is
Speaker 1: occasionally shown, but but it's never information that Nicholas Cage
Speaker 1: doesn't already know. Yeah, Like they literally recite information in
Speaker 1: unison at multiple points, right, Because so that I found
Speaker 1: that really frustrating on the rewatch because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: she does know stuff, but then as you keep watching,
Speaker 1: You're like, but it's nothing he doesn't know already, and
Speaker 1: so it's another empty gesture. So she does nothing to
Speaker 1: ever propel the story forward. And the one time I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, she kind of does something that he
Speaker 1: doesn't or can't do, it's when she puts the lemon
Speaker 1: juice on the back of the Declaration of Independence, because
Speaker 1: she's like, he was about to do he would have
Speaker 1: been able to do. He just like might have done
Speaker 1: it a little more haphazardly than her. But like and
Speaker 1: John Voyd is the one to know, is the one
Speaker 1: who knows how invisible ink works, and he's like, you
Speaker 1: have to apply heat and then they do that sexy, breathing,
Speaker 1: flirtatious creepy thing they go, and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my god, grows, what does Nicholas Cage just breath smell like?
Speaker 1: My imagine? I mean, Diane Krueger, please report from the trenches,
Speaker 1: like what does Nicholas Cage just breath smell like? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So that ended up being an empty gesture too, because
Speaker 1: it's like he it's presented like he lets her do it.
Speaker 1: She literally just swabs lemon juice onto it and then
Speaker 1: doesn't know to breathe on it. So yeah, and I
Speaker 1: mean the only time that she impacts the story, I mean,
Speaker 1: they're all easily written out, because it's like you could
Speaker 1: write out her being kidnapped by Sean Bean and then
Speaker 1: un kidnapped by Sean Bean and not would really change.
Speaker 1: She is the one. I mean, I guess it's like
Speaker 1: her mistake or her like panicked during the chase that
Speaker 1: loses them the declaration, So something's her fault and then right,
Speaker 1: but that's like her being that's a passive saying on
Speaker 1: her exactly like she trips, which is like that has
Speaker 1: nothing to be with her, and then the payoff we
Speaker 1: get for that is Nick Cage later says it wasn't
Speaker 1: her fault and then she surprised kisses her after Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: So I kind of want to go through just sort
Speaker 1: of like beat by beat, every story point that she
Speaker 1: is involved in in what exactly happens, starting with the
Speaker 1: way she's introduced, which is another case of like the
Speaker 1: person you thought was gonna be a man is actually
Speaker 1: a woman. Because what happens here is Ben and Riley
Speaker 1: are waiting outside of doctor Chase's office. They don't know
Speaker 1: who Dr Chase is or what gender doctor Chases, but
Speaker 1: they assume that doctor Chase is a man. Right. The
Speaker 1: assistant comes out and says, doctor Chase will see you now,
Speaker 1: and this is in the middle of Riley making a
Speaker 1: comment about, you know, being kept down by the man.
Speaker 1: The door to the office opens, revealing that Dr Chase
Speaker 1: is a woman, and then Riley is like a very
Speaker 1: cute man because he's like kept down by the man,
Speaker 1: a very cute man, and they're like, okay, squirrel has enough, alright,
Speaker 1: So next thing that happens is where at the night
Speaker 1: of the Gala, when Ben is trying to steal the
Speaker 1: Declaration of Independence, He's like handing her a glass so
Speaker 1: that he's able to get her fingerprints later. And then
Speaker 1: Riley is like on the little like earpiece on his
Speaker 1: like calm link or whatever. Riley is a hacker. He's
Speaker 1: got the whole set up. He's in a separate truck
Speaker 1: or something. Yes, And so you know, Ben is talking
Speaker 1: to Abigail and Riley is like, who's that? Is that?
Speaker 1: That hot girl? How does she look? And we're just like,
Speaker 1: You're like, can you relax, squirrel, like please. He also
Speaker 1: later says that means declaration lady is behind you, and
Speaker 1: it's like, why do you think she's mean? Like she
Speaker 1: was just doing her job by not letting you look
Speaker 1: at the Declaration of Independence. That whole scene of them
Speaker 1: like like pain pong nagging her and calling her annoying
Speaker 1: and telling her to shut up, Like I have some
Speaker 1: of them written down because it's say so agregious, because
Speaker 1: it's like we know as human beings that she was
Speaker 1: just kidnapped by Sean Bean flung out of a truck.
Speaker 1: And then kidnapped by Nicholas Cage and she has to
Speaker 1: protect the Declaration of Independence. She's having a horrible day,
Speaker 1: and so she's allowed to say anything she wants. But
Speaker 1: it's like Nick Cage the second she gets into the
Speaker 1: truck immediately begins nagging her. Um. He says, she really
Speaker 1: can't shut her mouth, can she? And then later he
Speaker 1: once they're parked, he lets her hold the Declaration of Independence.
Speaker 1: He is like, you can hold this if you promise
Speaker 1: to shut up. Yes, there's so, I have them all
Speaker 1: written down. At first, he says, can you please stop shouting?
Speaker 1: She's yelling give me that. Referring to the Declaration of Independence,
Speaker 1: He says, you're still shouting and it's really starting to annoy.
Speaker 1: You would do well to be a bit more civilized
Speaker 1: in this instance. He also says when he says to
Speaker 1: annoy and not annoy me, that is low key and
Speaker 1: iconic Nick Cage moment where it's like and it's starting
Speaker 1: to annoy. You're like what, You're like, where did you
Speaker 1: learn to be a person? Okay? Yeah, who taught you?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah? And then you're like, wait, he's an appetism
Speaker 1: who knows right? Right? Right? Um? Then she is continuing
Speaker 1: again understandably to like she's freaking out, she's yelling, she
Speaker 1: swears in German, and then he says your shower again,
Speaker 1: and Riley's like pretty sure she's swearing too, yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1: And Riley is also loving it. No one stands up
Speaker 1: for her. Riley is like te hee he nick Cage's
Speaker 1: epic like, I loved him, I love him, I wanted
Speaker 1: him to be my best friend forever um. And then
Speaker 1: later when Ben is telling her about the silence two
Speaker 1: good letters, he keeps saying, you know, quiet, please, now shush.
Speaker 1: She really can't keep her mouth shut, can't she Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll let you hold onto this if you promise to
Speaker 1: shut up please. She's like reacting appropriately and he just
Speaker 1: nonstops says shut up a hundred times. He's so and
Speaker 1: and then and then he mentions it as a pro
Speaker 1: later when she's like fake working with Sean Bean, and
Speaker 1: he's like, she never shuts up. But by then he's like,
Speaker 1: means it in a way that he's like, I love
Speaker 1: my girlfriend who never shuts the funk up, Like he
Speaker 1: says it in a different contexts. It's equally insulting and
Speaker 1: also patently untrue, Like she's never like it's she's not
Speaker 1: a blabber mouth, she's not given enough lines to be considered.
Speaker 1: She's just like upset that she's just been kidnapped twice
Speaker 1: in a row by people who are actively trying to
Speaker 1: steal the deck, like she's responding appropriately, and then they're
Speaker 1: just like, Wow, this shrill woman will not shut the
Speaker 1: funk up about being kidnapped and me stealing the Declaration
Speaker 1: of Independence? What a bit she She's presented as a
Speaker 1: bitchy obstacle at first, she oh, she's fully presented as
Speaker 1: a bitchy obstacle, but then she becomes a complacent sidekick
Speaker 1: and then the love interest and then the love Yeah,
Speaker 1: so like it's it's bad. There's that weird line. We've
Speaker 1: already referenced that when she Ben and Riley go to
Speaker 1: John Voyd's house. John Voyd answers the door and it's like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing here in the middle of the night?
Speaker 1: Is she pregnant? I'm like, you don't even know who
Speaker 1: this person is, Like what are you talking to? That
Speaker 1: conclusion he he like pull vaults, so that weird conclusion
Speaker 1: and nick cage instead of saying, what are you talking
Speaker 1: about Nick Cage is like, well, if she is, do
Speaker 1: you want to let the woman carrying your future grandchild
Speaker 1: stand outside in the cold? And you're like, what is
Speaker 1: this family? This family is so fucked up they make
Speaker 1: no sense. And then he has pizza for four in
Speaker 1: back like he's just like so weird. And then yeah,
Speaker 1: he just lets his dad think that he's had sex
Speaker 1: with this poor woman who he's been screaming at all
Speaker 1: night to shut up. And and then instead of having
Speaker 1: her character reply logically, they write in the line do
Speaker 1: I look pregnant? And then you're like, come on, you're
Speaker 1: gonna make fun of this German supermodel's body, like what what?
Speaker 1: What about the rest of us? Like it's uh? And
Speaker 1: then from that scene on she is love interest sidekick,
Speaker 1: and that is how she is portrayed. We don't really
Speaker 1: ever learn anymore about her character except that she said
Speaker 1: I love you to more than one person, right, which
Speaker 1: is a cute little fact. They learned that at the
Speaker 1: Urban Outfitters that they fall in love. Maybe one of
Speaker 1: them was that stand guy, and maybe it was I'm
Speaker 1: also like, maybe she and Stan were trying to work
Speaker 1: sh it out, and Ben swoops in Benjamin Franklin, Benjamin Franklin, Mr. Steel,
Speaker 1: your girl gains swoops in some other stuff that happens
Speaker 1: to her. She needs to be saved again. When the
Speaker 1: bad guys are chasing after them, the Declaration of Independence
Speaker 1: gets flung out of her hand onto the street. She
Speaker 1: runs after it and Almots gets hit by a truck,
Speaker 1: and then Riley has to grab her and get her
Speaker 1: out of the way. And then a short time later
Speaker 1: when they're in the tomb in the church, they're like
Speaker 1: all filing in their kind of being held hostage by
Speaker 1: Sean Bean and the other bad guys. And there's this
Speaker 1: moment where like Abigail walks in front of ben and
Speaker 1: he grabs her and says come here, pulls her toward him,
Speaker 1: and then surprise kisses her. It's so like that bothers
Speaker 1: me on a number of levels, the first obviously being
Speaker 1: it's an agregious surprise kiss. The second being that I
Speaker 1: strongly suspect that that was like a studio note because
Speaker 1: it is connected to nothing else going on. It's almost
Speaker 1: like the screenwriters were told we need them to kiss
Speaker 1: before this part, because other than that it's prompted about.
Speaker 1: He just grabs her, and he's like, oh, right, that
Speaker 1: we forgot. Jerry Bruckheimer wants us to kiss, and then
Speaker 1: they kiss, and then it's and then it's you don't
Speaker 1: find out, and then that's it. That's also, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's the kiss of the movie. That's it's the most
Speaker 1: wedged in surprise kiss of any kind, surprise or not,
Speaker 1: most wedged in kiss I've ever seen in a movie.
Speaker 1: It's just like, and I mean, God love Diane Krueger,
Speaker 1: like the most passionless kiss you'll ever see in your life.
Speaker 1: She does not I think that. She's like, I cannot
Speaker 1: believe I have to do this. At what cost? Will
Speaker 1: I be a star? Like they have no chemistry even
Speaker 1: a little bit. Nope, nope, nope, you hate to see it?
Speaker 1: Um okay. So then after this kiss, they are in
Speaker 1: the tomb. The stairs are starting to crumble under them.
Speaker 1: As they're like making their way down into the treasure room.
Speaker 1: There is a moment where ben Gates like slips and
Speaker 1: falls and he's like hanging by something and she's like, here,
Speaker 1: give me your hand, so she kind of saves him,
Speaker 1: but that is immediately undone by a moment later she
Speaker 1: falls and then he has to grab her and pull
Speaker 1: her up and save her. So she has to be
Speaker 1: saved three different times in this movie by either where
Speaker 1: he drops her. Oh right, he drops her on that
Speaker 1: like platform. He's like, do you trust me? And it's like,
Speaker 1: what is this? Aladdin? Right? I felt the same way,
Speaker 1: But then it's not really like that because he drops
Speaker 1: her presumably to her death. She she makes a hard
Speaker 1: fall on would that there is no way on earth
Speaker 1: Nicholas Cage could be sure would save her. It was
Speaker 1: Ricketty down there. So by a miracle of screenwriting, she survives.
Speaker 1: And then afterwards he does I mean, Nick Cage does
Speaker 1: apologize to her several times in the movie and he's like, sorry,
Speaker 1: I dropped you. I had to save the Declaration of Independence,
Speaker 1: and instead of first of all, incredible line and incredible delivery,
Speaker 1: but then instead of her responding logically, she's like horny
Speaker 1: by the actually he dropped her to her death, and
Speaker 1: she's like, it's fine, I would have done exactly the
Speaker 1: same thing if if it were me. And then he's
Speaker 1: like really, And then that's and you're like, what the
Speaker 1: funk is going on? That reminds me of the moment
Speaker 1: I think they're in Philly still, and they're deciding to
Speaker 1: split up because like Sean Bean and his like cronies
Speaker 1: are looking for them. They're being British and they're being
Speaker 1: Brity because they have to keep the treasure away from
Speaker 1: the British because it's three hundred years ago and we
Speaker 1: still care about that for some reason anyway. So um,
Speaker 1: Ben is like, all right, I'll take the glasses and
Speaker 1: like the container and I'll go this way, and Abigail
Speaker 1: has the actual declaration and Ben says, take care of her. Now.
Speaker 1: Riley thinks that Ben is talking to him about Abigail.
Speaker 1: Abigail thinks Ben is talking to her about the Declaration
Speaker 1: of Independence. So they both say. Both Riley and Abigail
Speaker 1: say I will, but we don't know which one Ben means, Like,
Speaker 1: was he talking to Riley about Abigail? I feel like
Speaker 1: I want to probably, I want to give him the
Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt and feel like these freaky, freaky
Speaker 1: freemasons refer to documents with she her pronouns like they
Speaker 1: do with fucking boats and buildings. I feel like he
Speaker 1: is like the Declaration of Independence identifies she her, which,
Speaker 1: first of all, don't tell the Declaration of Independence. How
Speaker 1: they identify, right, we don't know. We don't know. Don't
Speaker 1: gender a piece of paper that a bunch of men touched,
Speaker 1: I know, grubby hands on dirty. So that's a very
Speaker 1: brilliant critique we both had. Anyway, the point is she, yeah,
Speaker 1: she has to be saved many times, constantly damns old
Speaker 1: and then foisted into the like okay, now she's with
Speaker 1: Nicholas Kate, like they're together and you're just like god.
Speaker 1: And at the end they move into this huge stone
Speaker 1: house or whatever. And also the math does not like okay,
Speaker 1: I didn't do the math, but they estimate that the
Speaker 1: treasure is worth ten billion dollars and then Riley gets
Speaker 1: one half of one percent, which would be millions of dollars,
Speaker 1: but he only gets a car. I know, I don't
Speaker 1: get it. I don't also, but I totally agree with
Speaker 1: you that like Riley is not credited properly, but more pressingly,
Speaker 1: Abigail is not credited period. Oh, she simply doesn't lose
Speaker 1: her current job. I was furious, and like, she's not unhappy,
Speaker 1: but she's just like he's like, okay, well, here's my
Speaker 1: terms and conditions. Harvey Kotel Carvey gets spinning his weird
Speaker 1: ring like bro yeah. Ben is like, okay, I want
Speaker 1: the credit for the fun to go to the entire
Speaker 1: Gates family with the help of Riley Pool, but like
Speaker 1: Abigail was there the whole time helping them, doesn't get
Speaker 1: credited at all. All he says is like, um, no
Speaker 1: criminal activity should go on her record. By the way, Like,
Speaker 1: I cannot believe he does not credit her for helping
Speaker 1: him find the treasure anything. It's It's bad, It's really bad.
Speaker 1: I was like, are you fucking kidding me right now?
Speaker 1: Bending Franklin Gates. I know bf he's also, oh I
Speaker 1: wrote this down, brilliant critique coming in ready, he's the
Speaker 1: BFG big. He's literally except he's Benjamin Franklin Gates, which
Speaker 1: is worse. Um, which is worse. Okay, So the movie
Speaker 1: is exhausting. I love it. It is better than I
Speaker 1: thought it would be. I do enjoy it. I love
Speaker 1: I mean it is a romp and a half. I
Speaker 1: mean talk about a round half the things. I feel like,
Speaker 1: as with most romps, most of the things that do
Speaker 1: happen don't necessarily make sense. But it's such a good
Speaker 1: romp that you don't even care. It doesn't matter. Just good,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. I think maybe two other women have
Speaker 1: very short, short moments on screen. Oh okay, so I had.
Speaker 1: There's a woman who is Abigails like assistant or receptionist
Speaker 1: or whatever. There's a woman in the market in Philly
Speaker 1: where Abigail, which I think is an interesting scene maybe
Speaker 1: worth talking about, where Abigail is running from Sean Bean's
Speaker 1: cronies and she hides behind this counter and this woman says,
Speaker 1: if you're not a steak, you don't belong here, and
Speaker 1: Abigail's like, I'm trying to hide from my ex husband.
Speaker 1: The woman responded, yeah, She's like, honey, you can stay
Speaker 1: here as long as you like. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: that's a really nice moment of like, well, woman helping
Speaker 1: another woman in a moment of need. But those those
Speaker 1: are the only two women I noticed. Was there another one?
Speaker 1: There was an FBI woman as well, who says silence,
Speaker 1: do good allowed? Right, Harvey Kitel has a female employee
Speaker 1: that speaks several times and has seen several times, but
Speaker 1: we never know what her name is or anything like that.
Speaker 1: I take issue with that whole deli scene in general.
Speaker 1: Because it's like, I feel like there is like very
Speaker 1: much a racial trope going on there as well. The
Speaker 1: two women of color we see are like service workers
Speaker 1: there for a punch line which almost feels like it's
Speaker 1: pulled from the Michael Bay playbook, which Hello Bruckheimer, it's
Speaker 1: a Bruckheimer play as well, where they're just kind of
Speaker 1: there to like provide the white lead with like a
Speaker 1: funny moment. And on top of that, the that's kind
Speaker 1: of being made is like, oh, she's running from her
Speaker 1: abusive ex husband ha ha. Like yeah, so that I
Speaker 1: mean that that was just like stinky for me through
Speaker 1: and through. I guess it didn't occur to me that
Speaker 1: they were playing it as a joke, but I can
Speaker 1: see that now. So that is not great because all
Speaker 1: the woman says is like who I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: be married to him either, And you're like, that's not funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they do. Couldn't end that on like that little comedic
Speaker 1: button if you will. Yeah, I mean, if this weren't
Speaker 1: a romp, you would help that another woman would be like,
Speaker 1: can I help you? Instead of offering you a piece
Speaker 1: of raw meat and being like yeake, he seems mean. Um,
Speaker 1: but this movie just isn't well written, so and they're
Speaker 1: only talking about men, and we never find out what
Speaker 1: her name is Sawyer. Whoopsies. But before we we dive
Speaker 1: further into the Bechtel test discussion, just a few fun things.
Speaker 1: So Nicholas Cage is trying to find the password to
Speaker 1: open the door in like the archive building or whatever
Speaker 1: wherever they are where the Declaration of Independence is where
Speaker 1: they're like trying to steal it from Justin. Bartha is
Speaker 1: listing off several anagram possibilities that like the letters could
Speaker 1: form based on like the fingerprints, the letters that like
Speaker 1: the fingerprints have touched. Um. So, just a good time
Speaker 1: or something. But this is a perfect time, speaking of anagrams,
Speaker 1: to remind everyone that Caitlyn darante anagrams to such things
Speaker 1: as Latin dancer U T I, Lauren D Titanic. And
Speaker 1: speaking of Titanic, did you notice Jamie that in the
Speaker 1: beginning when they are going down into the Charlotte after
Speaker 1: they've like uncovered it in the ice and it's like
Speaker 1: bluish and they're like walking food, did not remind you
Speaker 1: of the beginning of Titanic with like Bill Paxton, Oh
Speaker 1: I had it written down. I was okay, wait, what
Speaker 1: did I write down? I had a cute little note. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's my note. Kind of like the beginning of Titanic,
Speaker 1: a big treasure is found, but then the treasure isn't
Speaker 1: what it seems. But what if this movie, like what
Speaker 1: if Titanic went like that, like instead of like starting
Speaker 1: to talk to Rose, the whole movie was just about
Speaker 1: like it was like national treasure, but it was about
Speaker 1: the Titanic, and it's just Bill Paxton being like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to steal the Titanic. Oh my god, amazing. There's
Speaker 1: a message on Titanic. And if you squeeze a lemon
Speaker 1: on the Titanic, there's an app especially because Bill Paxton
Speaker 1: is another actor like Nicholas Cage, who when he acts
Speaker 1: and when he when he's like doing line reads like
Speaker 1: they are absurd of the time, like he would have
Speaker 1: turned in a similar performance, so that would have been perfect. Also,
Speaker 1: just like visually it looked so much like that seen
Speaker 1: in Titanic when they're like going through with like the
Speaker 1: Snoop Dogg vision um little submarine with the camera and
Speaker 1: stuff and like going through in and out of the ship,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, this looks exactly
Speaker 1: like Titanic when they're going through the Charlotte. Anyway, right,
Speaker 1: so back to the anagrams. Um, we've got Lauren D Titanic,
Speaker 1: we've got nine tip Dracula, we've got Tan Clarinet, I
Speaker 1: U D, We've got here's a new one. I just
Speaker 1: tweeted this the other day, Rude Italian kunt. But what
Speaker 1: that one is? Why? But cunt spelled with the U instead.
Speaker 1: It's like a little asterix because I don't have two
Speaker 1: use in my name, and you was taken up with rude,
Speaker 1: so it's like see asterix and T. I'll allow it,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, thank you. So that Yeah, those
Speaker 1: are some just important anagrams to be aware of in
Speaker 1: case my name is ever a clue for something and
Speaker 1: you need to like antagram it um. It is a
Speaker 1: big national treasure energy to include anagrams, I know, right,
Speaker 1: I had a really quick context corner on um. Freemasons. Yes,
Speaker 1: just because this movie, I mean, this movie also doesn't
Speaker 1: seem to know anything about the Freemasons, so I didn't
Speaker 1: I didn't like tire myself doing research for this, honestly,
Speaker 1: but just I mean famously Freemasons do not allow women
Speaker 1: in the group. It is like this mysterious group that
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's just like uncle's talking to each
Speaker 1: other about fucking nothing. Um my uncle's a Freemason, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, they're like, I I don't know, I've never
Speaker 1: I've asked him, and he's like, I can't tell you.
Speaker 1: And then You're like, all right, whatever. Like but I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure it's just uncle's talking about whatever. But it's
Speaker 1: supposed to be this big secretive thing. It's existed for
Speaker 1: as long as um this iteration of America, which is
Speaker 1: going really well, I think anyways, Freemasonry, and but I
Speaker 1: thought that from the beginning women weren't allowed and that
Speaker 1: was not the case. Um, there is a whole uh
Speaker 1: like a sub website devoted to women's history and Freemasons.
Speaker 1: So they were not a lot like they weren't encouraged
Speaker 1: to join. But there were some like multi gender branches
Speaker 1: of the Freemasons towards the beginning. And then it wasn't
Speaker 1: until the late eighteen hundreds that it was a hard
Speaker 1: rule that women could not participate. Um, but there was
Speaker 1: a whole system for women entering. They could they qualified
Speaker 1: to be a prentee or female apprentices. So you could
Speaker 1: be a female apprentice, a journey woman, a mistress, or
Speaker 1: a perfect MASONUS. And I don't know what any of
Speaker 1: these mean, but these were the four roles that women
Speaker 1: could have until the late eighteen hundreds when they were like,
Speaker 1: actually get them out. But there's a there's a whole
Speaker 1: there's like even a few famous female Freemasons, but hasn't
Speaker 1: been one in a hundred thirty years because men be
Speaker 1: excluding people. It's true. There was also a question conflict
Speaker 1: that came up in twenty eighteen about um, transgender women
Speaker 1: and freemasonry in England. It was this whole big thing. Um.
Speaker 1: So here is a quote that the United Grant Lodge
Speaker 1: of England released and I don't love the wording of this,
Speaker 1: but this is how they phrased it. Says, quote, a
Speaker 1: freemason who after initiation ceases to be a man does
Speaker 1: not cease to be a freemason. So you see what
Speaker 1: they're saying, But the wording of it is I don't
Speaker 1: like it, right, Yeah, there's some like misunderstanding it was uh,
Speaker 1: but that was the conclusion that they came to. So
Speaker 1: trans women can be Freemasons if they were Freemasons pre transition,
Speaker 1: very calm, like, how many could people? I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know how many people this supplies to, but I
Speaker 1: think the French Freemason is like the group that low
Speaker 1: key lets women in but in America definitely still know England,
Speaker 1: they had all the the all the questions around, um,
Speaker 1: trans people in Freemasons, and that's all I care to
Speaker 1: know about. It's a stupid club. Um, but I wonder
Speaker 1: if there any Bechdel Cast listeners who are Freemasons. It's
Speaker 1: so what the fuck? And uh, let us know? Yeah indeed? Um,
Speaker 1: So basically, are we to understand that the Gates family
Speaker 1: are all like Ben Gates and his many ancestors are
Speaker 1: all Freemasons or they just I think so trying to
Speaker 1: find the treasure. Okay, but that also makes you wonder
Speaker 1: like why aren't they involving the Freemasons. I don't know, right,
Speaker 1: He's just like, well, I've got one sidekick who may
Speaker 1: or may not be a squirrel, so like that's all
Speaker 1: I need. And then this woman that I've kidnapped who
Speaker 1: then becomes my girl friend nice, which even like Riley
Speaker 1: Pool comments on at the end, He's like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: you've got this huge house and you got the girl,
Speaker 1: and all I got was this Ferrari or whatever the car.
Speaker 1: It would have been way cooler if a squirrel was
Speaker 1: driving the car. Mistakes were made. It's like when those
Speaker 1: when those hamsters drive the Kia's. Oh my god, what
Speaker 1: a weird reference shape there. I already think about those
Speaker 1: hamsters a lot. Oh, we have fun. The the team
Speaker 1: on this movie directed by this will surprise no one
Speaker 1: but um directed by a man, John turtle Tub. We've
Speaker 1: got um several writers and story by credits, but all
Speaker 1: of them are men except for m Marian Wibberly, So
Speaker 1: we're not surprised that the treatment of women is what
Speaker 1: it is in this movie. I I would be like, Marian,
Speaker 1: come on the podcast. Were you trying to advocate more
Speaker 1: for Abigail to be, you know, a stronger, more active character.
Speaker 1: Were you shut down? What happened there? I'd like, because well,
Speaker 1: I mean, for sure, I mean female writers are shut
Speaker 1: down almost exclusively. But it would be interesting to hear
Speaker 1: like the ins and outs of like what was okay
Speaker 1: to pitch, what wasn't? What went over? Well? What did
Speaker 1: I mean I'm sure. I'm sure Marian's got stories come
Speaker 1: on the pod anytime. Open invite Galen. Yes, does this
Speaker 1: movie fast, but I don't know. I'm gonna say a big,
Speaker 1: hard no from me as well. There are those couple
Speaker 1: interactions that she does have with another woman, but those
Speaker 1: are characters who are not named. They only have an
Speaker 1: exchange that is very minimal and could have been taken
Speaker 1: out of the movie. Like, there was no attempt to
Speaker 1: meaningfully include women in this story at all, and that
Speaker 1: includes Abigail's character because, as we discussed, she does really
Speaker 1: nothing except for get dragged along and um contribute none
Speaker 1: of her expertise or anything like that. Yeehaw. As far
Speaker 1: as our nipple scale rating zero to five nipples based
Speaker 1: on its representation of women, I mean, I'll give it
Speaker 1: a half nipple for you know, again, this happens a
Speaker 1: lot too, especially in this genre of film, where the
Speaker 1: one female character who they do choose to include at
Speaker 1: all is not a bad character, Like when you just
Speaker 1: isolate her and you know, examine her as an individual.
Speaker 1: You know, they often are perfectly competent and smart and
Speaker 1: you know, we know what their jobs are. They're good
Speaker 1: at their jobs. Things like that, but her role in
Speaker 1: the story is so minimal in terms of what she's
Speaker 1: allowed to contribute narratively. And then also, um, the things
Speaker 1: that happened to her, like having to be saved three times,
Speaker 1: being surprised, kissed, being foisted into the love interest role,
Speaker 1: all those things really are extremely frustrating. Kind of every
Speaker 1: every mistake in the book, and by a mistake, I
Speaker 1: mean it was done very on purpose. But like every
Speaker 1: action trope in the book, as it pertains to women,
Speaker 1: is made in national treasure. And I have a feeling
Speaker 1: that because it's like a children family like, it's s
Speaker 1: geared toward a wider audience. It's like a PG rated film. Um.
Speaker 1: I think that that's probably why we don't get more
Speaker 1: were like fridging and violence toward her. But I think
Speaker 1: if it were like a PG thirteen or an R
Speaker 1: rated movie, we would have seen like violence enacted against
Speaker 1: her and things like that. But because it's so I
Speaker 1: guess you know, it's a Disney movie, so we can't
Speaker 1: we can't hit her, but we can just not write her. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll agree with you. I'll go at half nipple as well.
Speaker 1: Who are you giving your nippy too. Um Well, you
Speaker 1: presented um an interesting scenario of Justin Barthur being a squirrel.
Speaker 1: I wonder how many nipples squirrels have. But I'm going
Speaker 1: to give my half nipple to the squirrel version of
Speaker 1: Riley Pool. I'll do the same wonderful nipple for the squirrel. Yay,
Speaker 1: and and and there you have a gang. The first
Speaker 1: quarantined episode of the Backsel Cast. I feel good about it.
Speaker 1: I had fun, I had a blast what a tree
Speaker 1: And I think, Jamie, I don't know about you, but
Speaker 1: I found some treasure in this episode. I think this
Speaker 1: episode is a treasure and we had to uncover it.
Speaker 1: See I I feel like, you know, because we're gonna
Speaker 1: keep doing it. For me, it's just another clue, and
Speaker 1: that's going to lead to another clue. And that's kind
Speaker 1: of hed another clue. These clues being episodes, other episodes
Speaker 1: where constituting. I'm going to start referring to episodes as clues.
Speaker 1: So on this clue, we're going to be covering Moonstruck.
Speaker 1: What if we should cover the movie clue? I love
Speaker 1: the movie clue. Oh, that would be such a fun
Speaker 1: Quarantine episode two? What other one were we thinking about doing?
Speaker 1: We were thinking about doing um Crossroads cross resovie. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's some heavy ship and crossroads, but it would still
Speaker 1: be a fun one. I've never seen it. A bunch
Speaker 1: of people were tweeting that we should do Armageddon right now,
Speaker 1: you know, something to think about. Sure, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say now, we'll see you, We'll
Speaker 1: see what happens um. Anyway, thanks for listening. You can
Speaker 1: follow us on social media at all the places, especially
Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram at Becktel cast um. Now is a
Speaker 1: great time if you haven't already, and if you're able
Speaker 1: to financially join our patreon a k a. Matreon because
Speaker 1: you've you'll get access to more content, more episodes of
Speaker 1: the Bechtel Cast. If you're breezing through these main feed episodes,
Speaker 1: you know, burning right through them and you need some more.
Speaker 1: We've got a bunch of good stuff on the Matreon,
Speaker 1: and there's been a couple of people asking us one
Speaker 1: is the best way to financially support us during this stuff.
Speaker 1: We're fine, but the patreon is the way. The Padreon,
Speaker 1: Madrean is the way to do it. Indeed, yes, and
Speaker 1: with that, well this clue, like you said, Jamie, it's
Speaker 1: not over the search for the Bechtel Treasure. Treasure, it's
Speaker 1: speculated the cartoonist Alison Bechdel has a hidden treasure and
Speaker 1: her books, and you have to get all of her
Speaker 1: books and read them. Or what if we've been laying
Speaker 1: out clues in every episode. What if every time I say,
Speaker 1: like cat facts with Caitlin, or every time you say,
Speaker 1: here's what role Alfred Molina should have played? What a
Speaker 1: de cipher? That was a cipher this whole time, You'll
Speaker 1: have to figure it out, listeners. Yeah, just just keep
Speaker 1: finding those clues that we've been sprinkling into the episodes
Speaker 1: by