Speaker 1: You guys, this is Matt. I'm here to talk to
Speaker 1: you for a quick second before we get into this
Speaker 1: very good episode. Now you might be wondering where's Bowen,
Speaker 1: but when is at the bottom of the world. He's
Speaker 1: in Australia visiting his birthland. Another interesting fact about Bowen
Speaker 1: Boring Anyway, we just get into the cultural news and
Speaker 1: I'm by cultural news, I mean lost cultural news, lost
Speaker 1: culture restes. That is. We have two shows coming up
Speaker 1: in November and they are real gags. People. On November seven,
Speaker 1: we are part of New York Comedy Festival. We're so excited.
Speaker 1: Bo When and I are pumped to bring Coach War
Speaker 1: and I don't think so Honey Deathmatch to the Villain
Speaker 1: Stage in Brooklyn on November seven. This is gonna be
Speaker 1: two teams, one team at another team Bowen Boo and
Speaker 1: they're gonna be going head to head to find out
Speaker 1: which team can deliver the best. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Honey's head to head death match tournament competition and Bowen
Speaker 1: and I are going to be captain and two teams.
Speaker 1: We have an amazing blue ribbon panel. We're going to
Speaker 1: be really really very soon. It's gonna be very good
Speaker 1: November seven. Coach War New York Comedy Festival. Tickets on
Speaker 1: Stone now and then it's back to basics bitch on
Speaker 1: November eighteenth. We're gonna bringing our our third edition. I
Speaker 1: can't believe it's been three times. I don't think so,
Speaker 1: Honey Live, fifty comedians, all killing it on the stage,
Speaker 1: you and the audience, getting your laugh on, getting your gig,
Speaker 1: getting someone's phone number. I think the show is a
Speaker 1: really good place to meet someone because like they're having
Speaker 1: a good time. You don't have to talk about shared interest.
Speaker 1: You can talk about the show. It's happening right there.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it might be a good idea.
Speaker 1: So come as a single person or come with a
Speaker 1: new day. But either way it come to either show
Speaker 1: or both. We have Coach War on November seven, then
Speaker 1: to York Comedy Festival and I don't think so. Honey Live,
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Podcast Festival, November eighteen. Rest in peace, you have
Speaker 1: her seeing don last Cultures. If it isn't you again
Speaker 1: my greatest rival. If it isn't my nemesis, no doubt
Speaker 1: you've been hooking around town. Yes, I've been turning all
Speaker 1: the tricks. What about you. Who are your john's these days?
Speaker 1: Not so much hooking as booking. Okay, she's a booker. Yes,
Speaker 1: all I do is book book books, no matter what.
Speaker 1: So in this scenario, I'm I'm a sex worker and
Speaker 1: you're an actor who's doing well. Wow, you guys, these
Speaker 1: many audio plays are a new specialty. And you know
Speaker 1: what with that? Welcome to last cultures like clearly culture
Speaker 1: warriors here. I mean you just got some right served
Speaker 1: on your a little tiny plate as an appetizer. We
Speaker 1: say appetizer because the episode is just beginning, has just beginning, honey,
Speaker 1: and oh the main course is crumptious today. I think scrumptious.
Speaker 1: I think I think this is a scrumptious one and
Speaker 1: also an eligible batch, an eligible back. Let's get into that.
Speaker 1: What I'll find out if it's currently you know, at
Speaker 1: a certain point you will expound. Okay, Um that right
Speaker 1: there was a reference to our guest being on El
Speaker 1: Magazine's forty Singles under forty Um. He had a great
Speaker 1: little ride up, He had a great little profile, and
Speaker 1: he was also in Rolling Stones twenty five. He was
Speaker 1: also written up on Splitstarter, on for There on the
Speaker 1: Verge Future and for being a Twitter tight maestro. Yeah, genius,
Speaker 1: genius stuff. I mean like I'm just like okay, yeah, like,
Speaker 1: oh he's this is he's he's peaked. That's crazy of
Speaker 1: you to say because he's literally in there, he's in
Speaker 1: the room. You didn't let me finish my thought, go ahead, finish.
Speaker 1: After every tweet I see, I go, oh wow, that's
Speaker 1: how is he going to top this one? And then
Speaker 1: and yet he does? Oh my goodness. This is our guest.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about bowen stopped? Like constantly a
Speaker 1: decreeing like where your career stands? Honestly it every morning
Speaker 1: it's great. Wake up in the morning, open your eyes
Speaker 1: and think is today y? Yeah? Was that my last
Speaker 1: fire was as the fire extinguent? There have been so
Speaker 1: many fire tweets? Yes, of course, I mean, okay, here
Speaker 1: we go, because you have there's a wide sample to
Speaker 1: choose from. What would you like, how do you look like? Like?
Speaker 1: When will you And this is such a basic question.
Speaker 1: Basically you'll draft a tweet up and you'll go, let me,
Speaker 1: let me just ballpark this wager, K like will you
Speaker 1: do that? Ever? And you can and that's such a
Speaker 1: you can say yes and have any team about it. Yeah. Um.
Speaker 1: Occasionally sometimes we'll be like I know this is going
Speaker 1: to get this yes, y Yeah. It's not like I'm
Speaker 1: like I don't know, like this one, I kind of know.
Speaker 1: But there's some that just like take off that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I did not see that. Yeah, yeah, are you the
Speaker 1: type of tweeter? Because right like in the nacency of Twitter,
Speaker 1: I remember just being like in our little group of friends.
Speaker 1: But this was back in college when Twitter was like
Speaker 1: it was like baby be Twitter, Twitter, like writing jokes
Speaker 1: with this novelty and then uh, good friend Henry Gamil,
Speaker 1: he lives in l A. Now he writes for Efforts
Speaker 1: for family. Uh really great guy. Um, I remember him
Speaker 1: being so academic in diligent about he kept a notebook. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I think Billy Domino had a Twitter. People had notebooks,
Speaker 1: and I feel like, I mean, I don't know if
Speaker 1: people still do that, but I feel like there's still
Speaker 1: this drafting culture where it's like I'll save it to
Speaker 1: my drafts, I'll walk in this later. See. I wish
Speaker 1: I was better at that. I don't do that. I
Speaker 1: was gonna do that. I think that makes sense. That
Speaker 1: reads because Jabuki's whole sort of of is like just
Speaker 1: very very very it's not it's not bound by like
Speaker 1: some like hyper intellectualism. It's very intellectual, it's very high brow,
Speaker 1: but there's this like palatability to all of it, which
Speaker 1: is the best part. There. Go my tweet is spelling
Speaker 1: errors and uh my tweet my Twitter that my tweet
Speaker 1: is spelling errors and celebrities. Sometimes I look at my Twitter.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I look back at my it and I'm like, hmmm,
Speaker 1: what am I coming across as? And it is as
Speaker 1: a full idiot, but I still think I deserve more
Speaker 1: likes you do. It's and being a full idiot self
Speaker 1: awarely is better than my sort of and we started
Speaker 1: talking about us. We're just kicking this off talking about ourselves.
Speaker 1: Um my sort of You know. The whole thing is
Speaker 1: that I'm looking back at my tweets and I'm like,
Speaker 1: these are aging, These aged horribly, and I'm coming off
Speaker 1: as this smug, pseudo intellectual little bit and I fucking
Speaker 1: hate myself. I remember when I first moved to New York,
Speaker 1: I saw one of your tweets that was like, I'm
Speaker 1: actually fighting the patriarchy by making electronic music, right. That
Speaker 1: was great. That stuck with me thinking about that tweet
Speaker 1: everythingle something like that. Honestly, Um, Henry, my boyfriend at
Speaker 1: the time, was like he was nervous to meet you
Speaker 1: because he thought that your online presence was very severe
Speaker 1: and he thought that you were going to be this
Speaker 1: like serious person who could kill you with their games.
Speaker 1: I can and let me just and no way, You're
Speaker 1: so nice. Thank You do have a lot of photo
Speaker 1: ops though, like some good photos. Oh you're talking about
Speaker 1: like like on instant stuff or like Facebook. Sure, I mean, thanks, Thanks.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can tell if it's like
Speaker 1: an Instagram model like posing in her kitchen kind of thing.
Speaker 1: It's clearly this was stage. Um. I mean no, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm up friend about that, but I was going to say, um.
Speaker 1: I felt that same way about Jabooky because Jabooky and
Speaker 1: I Jaboki came at the highest recommendation of Sam Taggart
Speaker 1: to be in this show, and she was like he
Speaker 1: was like Jabouky, like, let's bring Jabooky and I was
Speaker 1: like great, who is he? Um? And then Sam shree
Speaker 1: me his Twitter and I was like, I was like,
Speaker 1: this guy's too funny. It was like too good for
Speaker 1: this small role. That's that's what I thought. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, he was like he's going to hate this,
Speaker 1: like this Okay, that's insane because I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, these are like all the like who know,
Speaker 1: like I don't know what the fun I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: Like I'm just like you know, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, we all have our inferiority complexes. Let's just
Speaker 1: leave it at that. That's true. That's true. We're all
Speaker 1: imposters on the inside, but not you, not you baby,
Speaker 1: real deal. And Jabookey does this thing very well where
Speaker 1: I feel like he will, um take take some sort
Speaker 1: of Twitter me to like the hilt and then like
Speaker 1: every's like, okay, everyone else go home, like he'll do
Speaker 1: He'll do the acrostics better than anybody. He'll do. And
Speaker 1: I'm just throwing a lot of praise on you. Thank you.
Speaker 1: You must be praised. You must be praised. And and
Speaker 1: he's he does the dialect like most I want to say,
Speaker 1: most dialogue tweets are like plus. But then Jabooky digging
Speaker 1: it in for an A for an A plus cinema
Speaker 1: score cinema score a. Um, so then let's find out
Speaker 1: more about him. So now We're gonna ask you the
Speaker 1: question that we ask all of our guests, which is jabooky.
Speaker 1: What is the culture that when you were helopping made
Speaker 1: you say, oh, I feel a change in me. This
Speaker 1: is the culture that defined you, the culture that made
Speaker 1: you who you are today. Okay, I'm gonna say first
Speaker 1: and foremost, the I love the v H one series
Speaker 1: for real my whole childhood and yeah, so good because
Speaker 1: my parents were immigrants, so like I didn't have cultural
Speaker 1: American touchdownes like passed down to me, so it was
Speaker 1: kind of like, oh, I'm playing catch up now of
Speaker 1: like learning everything that's American like a condensed way. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like really the spark Notes of like American. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, that's real. Number eight one of culture
Speaker 1: best week ever is the spark I love the Blanks
Speaker 1: on H one is the spark Notes Cure. Those were great.
Speaker 1: They were so good. Eighties nineties were both so good.
Speaker 1: And then they did I feel like this, I feel
Speaker 1: like this went so under the radar, but they did.
Speaker 1: I love the New Millennium, which was like the comowoousn't
Speaker 1: it was still like we were in It was too soon.
Speaker 1: They should have just kept doing I Love the Eighties
Speaker 1: Part two, Part three, Part four, Part five, Yeah deeper.
Speaker 1: Also when you look back at the like first, I
Speaker 1: love the eighties, Like some of the movies that they
Speaker 1: picked were like like I think they were definitely like
Speaker 1: iconic of that year, but like there was many other
Speaker 1: things like something like I remember um, like they did
Speaker 1: like a big thing on Heathers and I don't think
Speaker 1: maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Heathers was a
Speaker 1: huge movie at the time. I think it became a
Speaker 1: cult film like in the years following and so like.
Speaker 1: But they spent a long time on that movie. So
Speaker 1: that's like a very kind of retrospective thing to feature.
Speaker 1: But like what is interesting to me was hearing about
Speaker 1: the things and the trends that were popular literally at
Speaker 1: that time. Right, yes, that's what I want the window.
Speaker 1: I don't need the retrospective like Rube Excubes, Like yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I get that they're still around, Like yeah, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: that's what it is, and it and they could benefit
Speaker 1: they could have done this thing where they like devoted
Speaker 1: a whole twenty minutes to one thing instead of like
Speaker 1: the five of the Town. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they could have definitely just TV, which I
Speaker 1: know sounds like whatever, basic, but like that, I mean
Speaker 1: that would that would I would watch that? Yeah. Also,
Speaker 1: I will say it got me to have quite a
Speaker 1: crush on House Barks, Remember House Barks. Yeah, but Michael
Speaker 1: and Black was like the babe, I don't like Michael
Speaker 1: and Black sexually. I don't think of him like that
Speaker 1: so cute, so cute really with m yeah, yeah, he's
Speaker 1: just so like snarky, so dry. I was like, I
Speaker 1: aspire to be that, right, I guess I don't really
Speaker 1: respond to dry. I respond to like doing a little
Speaker 1: too much? How never really did that? How did too
Speaker 1: much all the time? How how it get loud all?
Speaker 1: You know? And I loved him, remember I've been like
Speaker 1: a little dog. But then I found out he was
Speaker 1: very confusing because that guy was also on the show
Speaker 1: Folk playing like a very gay man, but he was
Speaker 1: himself was straight, and so that was confusing for me
Speaker 1: as like young person wrestling with their own sexual idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, are the all the cute guys straight?
Speaker 1: But then we come to find out that's not true,
Speaker 1: that there are aute guys later on in life, we
Speaker 1: found that out, but you also confronted this reality that
Speaker 1: it's still relevant today where the streets are taking our roles.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, called queer as Folk, and there
Speaker 1: was literally like the women were gay, like two of
Speaker 1: the women were guy. I think almost everyone on Queers Yeah,
Speaker 1: I ever rely. I think at least half of the
Speaker 1: guys on you ever watched Queers Folk? I'd seen like
Speaker 1: some episodes when I was really young. Then you get it,
Speaker 1: you get it, But I feel like I'm going to
Speaker 1: separate off me and Dubookie from you, just like window wise,
Speaker 1: like we missed that boat. We missed that. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. How much younger do you think you
Speaker 1: are than maybe eighteen months? So like in the in
Speaker 1: that eighteen month window, like there was a generational gap,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's when they stopped airing reruns on Logo. Wait,
Speaker 1: did you grow up with cable though? Okay, okay, that
Speaker 1: was a time that I didn't. But then when I
Speaker 1: got it, I was like revenues, like getting as much
Speaker 1: as I possibly could, like it's open. I didn't get
Speaker 1: cable until junior year of high school. Yeah, and like
Speaker 1: deprived the whole time and that's and like in that
Speaker 1: sort of desert phase, like I fucking loved going to
Speaker 1: hotels because that they had the h one and MTV
Speaker 1: and I could watch that chet and like, yes, like
Speaker 1: it was that that was my way of like picking
Speaker 1: up all this stuff, and it is. It is a
Speaker 1: real thing. It's an immigrant experience thing that some people
Speaker 1: will never got. There crying a lot. So they both
Speaker 1: began to cry. They both they both cried. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I I know, I totally get that, and that is
Speaker 1: that is such a good answer, I know. So speaking
Speaker 1: of a gay cultural touchdown, which is returning, I think
Speaker 1: what next week Dynasty and Grace because you um, I
Speaker 1: occasionally did because in the period of time that I
Speaker 1: didn't have cable, I would just watch all those like
Speaker 1: multi camp sitcom right, they're always on, yes, but I
Speaker 1: never got any of it, like it was just so
Speaker 1: far away from me. Yeah, I can definitely see see
Speaker 1: that was like all that was on like in my
Speaker 1: household was like where we're almost another episode of Friends
Speaker 1: and like Will and Grace. And now it's funny because
Speaker 1: you think back on those shows that absolutely could never
Speaker 1: happen again, like like with these like all white casts
Speaker 1: like it would be crazy, It's insane, Like friends, they
Speaker 1: literally all looked the same, those guys literally all loo
Speaker 1: But and yet Will and Grace is back, and I
Speaker 1: know that they get that. I know they get like
Speaker 1: a past because it's like gay. So what's your thesis here?
Speaker 1: What are you trying to say? I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to say. I and I have had this theory
Speaker 1: that big media is trying to like push us a
Speaker 1: little bit back, you know what. Let's speak on it.
Speaker 1: I speak on this because I feel the same like
Speaker 1: when I saw Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt like really
Speaker 1: rising the ranks in Hollywood, I was like, this feels
Speaker 1: a little too corn bread. Yeah, raised in corn Yes,
Speaker 1: Like it was like very much likelier Middle America. We
Speaker 1: know what you want? Yes, like yeah, and it was
Speaker 1: kind of just like serving that to them. I think that,
Speaker 1: as we've seen recently with some recent castings, I think
Speaker 1: like this is all very true. I feel that, however,
Speaker 1: there's an interesting rub because you have someone like Jennifer
Speaker 1: Lawrence who's like this Middle American princess and like star
Speaker 1: of like oh all these like beloved movies or whatever. However,
Speaker 1: like the project she chooses is like Mother, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, It's like this like a person who's
Speaker 1: obviously like pretty progressive. I think, like it takes fucking nudes,
Speaker 1: like wants to be in Mother, like all these things. Like, however,
Speaker 1: she's been cast as like America's sweetheart, who's like that
Speaker 1: chicken the football game, who like can hang with the guys,
Speaker 1: And it's like, I have a feeling that's not her.
Speaker 1: What is that gap though, between like like an outwardly
Speaker 1: projected person persona personality. Maybe that's just well, we're never
Speaker 1: gonna know who any of them really are ever ever ever,
Speaker 1: and so we have to accept the fact that, like
Speaker 1: when you see so and so on an interview, you're
Speaker 1: literally seeing them for three minutes, and they do live
Speaker 1: a full life outside of that. So it's like we're
Speaker 1: never going to ever know them. I feel like, you
Speaker 1: know who I know, soph I just I feel like
Speaker 1: I know this person. I honestly don't have any answer,
Speaker 1: Like there has to be so I thought has to
Speaker 1: be an exception to that though Kelly Clarkson, Kelly, Yes,
Speaker 1: loving this out. I'm very happy that he said that.
Speaker 1: So basically, I feel like because I was eleven years old,
Speaker 1: like when I was watching her twelve and twelve years old,
Speaker 1: like any of corn fed Oh yeah, I mean truly,
Speaker 1: George W. Bush a girl next door is that she
Speaker 1: doesn't make any apologies. However, she is a Democrat and
Speaker 1: did support Hillary. Remember when she voted for wrong. She
Speaker 1: did not vote for Ron Paul. She like she said
Speaker 1: for him, she said he would be my guy at
Speaker 1: one point, and then she got read toothill and we're
Speaker 1: still going to let you. You're still gonna let her
Speaker 1: slide on that, Like that's crazy. She could have said
Speaker 1: a lot worse people than she could have said, a
Speaker 1: lot worse people than Ron Paul. This was the two
Speaker 1: thousand twelve election. Oh, I think it was actually two
Speaker 1: thousand and eight. It was during the primaries of the
Speaker 1: two watch. I don't think it was two thousand eight
Speaker 1: because I remember this so clearly. Okay, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: go from George Bush to Ron Paul, I don't trust well.
Speaker 1: I don't know that she voted for George, but she
Speaker 1: was like a Bush coming off of that, and you're like,
Speaker 1: we need to run. Yeah. No. See. The thing is
Speaker 1: I think the reason I feel like I know her,
Speaker 1: and I feel like if I ever saw her, I
Speaker 1: would just start talking to her like normal is because well,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true, but he knows that
Speaker 1: it's not true. He knows I would just start crying
Speaker 1: and thanking her for what we don't know. Um, well
Speaker 1: I do know, um, but I think that because she
Speaker 1: literally I watched her become famous and I knew who
Speaker 1: she was before you and have literally googled her most
Speaker 1: days of my life to find like what's she doing?
Speaker 1: Like I feel like pretty close to her. Is there
Speaker 1: a celebrity that you feel like you know even if
Speaker 1: it's like ridiculous to think so, this is probably the
Speaker 1: most ridiculous answer. Kanye Cool feel like I know Kanye that.
Speaker 1: The thing about Kanye is you could make the argument
Speaker 1: that he is unknowable. Would you say that a total
Speaker 1: cloud at this point, you don't know where he's at,
Speaker 1: simply a cloud completely disarrayed or arrayed, like just spread
Speaker 1: out in every like like I'm someone who's just like
Speaker 1: so conflicted because I have loved him since day one,
Speaker 1: but now it's just like how do I reconcile that
Speaker 1: with like who he is now? It's so hard. I'm
Speaker 1: like a closet Kanye apologist at this point. That's fine.
Speaker 1: It's hard to you can't, you really can't. I feel
Speaker 1: like you He's not like he's not like the most
Speaker 1: reprehensible person in the world, and he has the worst
Speaker 1: and he has been subjected to like this this thing,
Speaker 1: especially with fucking Taylor, where it's like scary, like a
Speaker 1: scary black dude versus like, you know, pretty white girl.
Speaker 1: It's like that has been projected onto him kind of
Speaker 1: a I don't think that anyone has changed the fabric
Speaker 1: of the Americans. I guist as much as Kanye has.
Speaker 1: And that's twenty first centry that really is. You think
Speaker 1: he's changed it more than someone like Kim Beyonce has.
Speaker 1: I will say, this is my argument. Kanye made people
Speaker 1: wear shutter shades like we were literally half blocked. That
Speaker 1: was so even back then two THO during when Stronger
Speaker 1: came out, I was just like this is stupid. I
Speaker 1: was like, this is bad. That was that tour because
Speaker 1: I remember that was when we all first came to
Speaker 1: college and the statement everything on st marks had shut
Speaker 1: yes and I would I was trying to make friends
Speaker 1: with all the other new freshmen, and so I would
Speaker 1: look back into their profile and the summer before everyone
Speaker 1: that went to NYU had gone to the Kanye westconsin
Speaker 1: and when we were in those shades, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I literally thought to myself, God, damn it, I missed
Speaker 1: that concert because those shades look really fun to wear.
Speaker 1: I don't really care for Stronger. I think Stronger is
Speaker 1: like a C plus of a song, but I would
Speaker 1: have loved to wear those ships in itself. The shades
Speaker 1: were like an amazing, brilliant merch moment, like amazing genius
Speaker 1: genius Like I I, I am inclined to agree with
Speaker 1: you because Beyonce has changed the zeitgeist in a way
Speaker 1: that is very like deliberate and calculated. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that predoratively, but Connie, it's like really like it's not
Speaker 1: even like a Justin bieber Typer. It's like, oh, he's
Speaker 1: a mess. It's like with Kanie, it's like you're transfixed,
Speaker 1: like what is going to happen next? Yeah? I think
Speaker 1: that's I mean, every time Kanye does something new fashion wise,
Speaker 1: it's in H and M like three months later. Is
Speaker 1: that so? Yeah? I guess I'm not I guess like,
Speaker 1: I'm not that fucking like you know, like the like
Speaker 1: the last year before Pabla, like just New Trip like
Speaker 1: and then everyone was wearing New Yeah. I guess they
Speaker 1: were like, no, that's that's fair. That's a fair I
Speaker 1: will say though music industry, I would say probably Beyonce
Speaker 1: has changed more from the digital drop that like revolution
Speaker 1: before and after the digital drop, it's a game. I
Speaker 1: do different people, Like it's so funny to think about
Speaker 1: the Beyonce that was singing like single ladies and to
Speaker 1: now think about and even then that was a different
Speaker 1: person from sucking. I listened to Bills Bills, Bills like
Speaker 1: on repeat. Recently the way she's singing was started a
Speaker 1: real cool and that was just like she sounds like
Speaker 1: a fucking dying bird and now she's like, oh, like
Speaker 1: she's screaming or there were the years where she's screaming.
Speaker 1: Now she's like like giving you like female Kendrick. Um.
Speaker 1: I was trying to do an impression of her singing
Speaker 1: ghost and it sounded like this you recognized it, but
Speaker 1: I meant like that I knew it. Um. I will
Speaker 1: never forget. When she put that album out, I started
Speaker 1: listening to it literally at twelve or two, we texted
Speaker 1: each other, Yeah, you said, I remember the words. You said,
Speaker 1: this is a sick dream. Yeah yeah. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe this is happening. It probably I feel
Speaker 1: like it's probably not how opening, there must be a mistake.
Speaker 1: But then it happened. I got home from this Christmas part.
Speaker 1: It was December. I got home from this office Christmas party.
Speaker 1: I was wasted, went back to my shitty apartment and
Speaker 1: it opened up my computer. No, it was on Instagram
Speaker 1: and then she like dropped it on it like she's
Speaker 1: like she like marketed it on right now, go overdraft
Speaker 1: your account overdraft. I probably did at the time. And God,
Speaker 1: don't regret it for a single second, Like God, yeah, no, Beyonce,
Speaker 1: but also Kanye just socially, it's like you will have
Speaker 1: discussions about what he says, why he's saying it, who
Speaker 1: he's fighting with right now. He Beyonce really low key
Speaker 1: did put feminism into everyone's mouth. Yeah, like Hike and yeah, Hike,
Speaker 1: he did that and brilliantly like would use other people's
Speaker 1: words like chimaman, like let me just cut this stream
Speaker 1: am onto Ted talk someone else. It'll just be someone
Speaker 1: else's words that I'm like elevating and of course you
Speaker 1: do that, like that's brilliant and literally like not for another.
Speaker 1: I know Chimamanda DJ has like her perspective on Beyonce,
Speaker 1: but people know who the fuck Chiama because of Beyonce. Also,
Speaker 1: I think some something that gets kind of like forgotten
Speaker 1: is I think sometimes the way you measure an artists
Speaker 1: impact is you think about who comes after them. Beyonce
Speaker 1: when she became what she became, I think around Crazy
Speaker 1: in Love is when it really started happening. Like the
Speaker 1: way they packaged Rihanna in the beginning was Beyonce light.
Speaker 1: What they tried to do with Ashanti was remember I'm married,
Speaker 1: need more Mary, number of culture, I'm Mary. It's this
Speaker 1: one thing that that was in this was it hitch
Speaker 1: It was in the hitch Town track hit. What is
Speaker 1: she saying with like during the beginning, no no no
Speaker 1: no no no no no, not that part which she's
Speaker 1: like keep what is she saying? What is she saying?
Speaker 1: I think it's literally no no no no. Yeah. It
Speaker 1: was a lot of that and even that is like
Speaker 1: very Beyonce, you know what I mean? There were so
Speaker 1: many fucking copycats. And that's how you measure something that's
Speaker 1: like really hitting culture. For example, Desperate Housewives becomes the
Speaker 1: iconic thing it was, and then the Real Housewives happening,
Speaker 1: and they are all of a sudden, like these network
Speaker 1: dramas with like all female casts, and you know, things
Speaker 1: like that lost. How many copycats did that? Um cause?
Speaker 1: And you know, you see with Beyonce, like not only
Speaker 1: the impact she's had on like black women, but also
Speaker 1: women in general, like in the music industry, just like
Speaker 1: the way that they packaged pop stars was different and
Speaker 1: continues to be different now because she's changed it again.
Speaker 1: Now you have people coming change in the way they
Speaker 1: release music because it has to be at least a
Speaker 1: little different than the Hi my albums coming out in
Speaker 1: three months, I will be on the Today Show, like
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, of course, I don't
Speaker 1: even say now, like Beyonce now like has like been
Speaker 1: her success as a proven quantity has been able to
Speaker 1: like has enabled people like I don't know if this
Speaker 1: is a good example, like sayss like have you listened
Speaker 1: to says this album? It's so good? I feel like
Speaker 1: it's it's maybe like maybe that's not a fair line
Speaker 1: to connect those two dots. But it's like, oh, but
Speaker 1: it's like that that sort of allows these other people
Speaker 1: to be successful in terms of people being on that level.
Speaker 1: I think everyone on Beyonce's level said to themselves, Oh,
Speaker 1: now it's different, Like now I have to do it
Speaker 1: different and I have to Frank Ocean wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to be there. You go, like just dropping something digitally
Speaker 1: or like teasing like a music video doing no press, yeah,
Speaker 1: no press, just like here's something like it really created
Speaker 1: that whole excitement around now. It's like if you saw
Speaker 1: Frank Ocean or like Beyonce on like Saturday Night Live,
Speaker 1: you'd be like, what do they do? Why are they doing?
Speaker 1: Are they did SNL last year? I was like, isn't
Speaker 1: he and and this isn't to say that like Beyonce
Speaker 1: like invented this whole thing. It's like no, like they
Speaker 1: were like the Eric about dudes, and oh my god,
Speaker 1: I saw her life last weekend. She's incredible and her
Speaker 1: voice is like you think, like you think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do a really bad Eric impression. You think Erica's voice
Speaker 1: is like see your next nive that like you think
Speaker 1: it's that it's like that soft dulcet thing, but it's
Speaker 1: like she can belt her fucking I didn't realize she
Speaker 1: like hit this note like it was beautiful and I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna try, and she was like, god, it was
Speaker 1: just well you tried. I tried it. I immediately stepped
Speaker 1: off number. It's true number five of culture. Number five. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's it's important in its general. Um No, But
Speaker 1: I'm saying like, like like you had those people, like
Speaker 1: you had those artists. Here's the deal. Beyonce didn't invent anything.
Speaker 1: She didn't. I mean I think she. I think she
Speaker 1: she revolutionized and modernized a lot. But if you look
Speaker 1: at old Tina Turner, you know what I mean, the
Speaker 1: whole like formational dancing, like three chicks on stage, like
Speaker 1: ripping it in terms of dancing and vocals like that's uh,
Speaker 1: repackaged and repurposed by Beyonce and it's given to us,
Speaker 1: and thank god it is. But it wasn't a creation
Speaker 1: of Beyonce. And I don't know if it was a
Speaker 1: creation of Tina Turners. But these things are nothing is near.
Speaker 1: I think invented having twins though, and it wasn't even
Speaker 1: her twins. It was the late twins French dancers that
Speaker 1: she had on her Mrs Carter Show World tour. It
Speaker 1: was those two like it was just such a deep cut. Sorry,
Speaker 1: remember remember that, we're just like twins, French twins that
Speaker 1: like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the boys or whatever, and
Speaker 1: they were like spinning in Twirland and they've been on
Speaker 1: all her tours. They were at the formation. She didn't
Speaker 1: she didn't meant having twins. You're right, I think so.
Speaker 1: And I think she invented um cutting, just doing a
Speaker 1: pixie cut, doing a little little remember remember that little cut. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you don't think Rosemary's baby Mia Farah, you don't
Speaker 1: think that the haircut, even though it happened forty years before.
Speaker 1: She didn't take a mirror selfie. Me if he didn't
Speaker 1: take a mirror selfie and destroy the Internet for a day.
Speaker 1: Remember when that was like the big Beyonce and he
Speaker 1: was like, she cut her hair and now it's like
Speaker 1: she might have had an invitro pregnancy or whatever. Wait,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. People still fucking coming up to me
Speaker 1: saying Beyonce didn't have her kids. That's wild. Okay, why
Speaker 1: does it even matter? It doesn't matter, doesn't I think
Speaker 1: it matters to build because she pretended that she had
Speaker 1: that she was having them if it's true, which I
Speaker 1: don't think it's true. For the wins, I feel like
Speaker 1: maybe she wanted specifically twins and like had it done
Speaker 1: in and then had had some sort of insertion and whatever.
Speaker 1: That's not the right terms. Um said that she hasn't
Speaker 1: had any of her kids, none of them she actually gave.
Speaker 1: Some people say, I don't. I think the twins people
Speaker 1: think she really had them. But when she was pregnant
Speaker 1: with Blue, there was like an interview she did where
Speaker 1: she sat down and appeared that her belly indented, and
Speaker 1: then people were all really going crazy. It's pretty munny.
Speaker 1: It's funny, funny. It looks like what people say. It
Speaker 1: looks like it looks like her belly pops in. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite videos like that is the one of
Speaker 1: Justin Bieber blinking his reptilian eyelids. Have you seen that one? People,
Speaker 1: because like the grain is like so poor on the
Speaker 1: camera that it looks like he's like blinking a second eyelid,
Speaker 1: like underneath his eye. I love those conspiracy here's a question,
Speaker 1: if there is an Illumini, who sits at the table?
Speaker 1: Who's the table? Um? Honestly, I don't think that it's
Speaker 1: really any celebrities. I think it's bankers. Yeah, like realistic.
Speaker 1: It's definitely not Beyonce or it's like VC people. It's
Speaker 1: like people who are like rich enough to like by
Speaker 1: by immortality. It's those people like Rockefellers, Like Rockefellers. That's
Speaker 1: this new thing with like rich people, with these with
Speaker 1: these rich men, is that they want to what is
Speaker 1: that thing when he died he had like six heart
Speaker 1: transplanters about Rockefeller. Yeah, one of the one of the
Speaker 1: ones who died recently had had like an absurd amount
Speaker 1: of organ transplants. That's I mean, that's the thing. It's like,
Speaker 1: it's like once you're that rich, like you have everything
Speaker 1: and like you feel like godly at that point and
Speaker 1: you're all The thing you care about most at that
Speaker 1: point isn't like necessarily your business or whatever any of
Speaker 1: that stuff. It's just how do I keep how do
Speaker 1: I stay here for as long as possible so I
Speaker 1: can experience this for as long as I want, which
Speaker 1: is like that's scary. I don't know, And you know,
Speaker 1: what's the scariest part is the fact that that is
Speaker 1: in all of us. That's why we wake up and
Speaker 1: like work. You know what I mean, It's like, man,
Speaker 1: that's the sound I make when something's cookie. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: go what is it. It's a little bit of a
Speaker 1: cookie singer. No, okay, I think not at all. I
Speaker 1: think I think there's some untapped. That's because you haven't
Speaker 1: had lessons. I haven't you have such a nice chamber?
Speaker 1: Do people say that to you? Because you really do?
Speaker 1: You sound real smooth on the mic. Really right now
Speaker 1: here we go. Good? So you love music? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love music. I'm definitely a music Are you a childish
Speaker 1: Campino fan? Okay? Oh shit, yes, But it didn't happen
Speaker 1: until later. And it's only casual because I was compared
Speaker 1: to Donald Glover so growing up that I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not like him. Yeah, Like I was kind of like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't why would people like I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: like other than the basic because that's it. That's all
Speaker 1: it is. It's like, well, you're that's why it's annoying.
Speaker 1: You're queer. Um, you have a different whatever. It's Donald
Speaker 1: Glover queer. I'm saying Jabooki is queer and Donald isn't.
Speaker 1: But it was just like, oh, you're like black, but
Speaker 1: you're not like a Martin Lawrence type. And yeah, it
Speaker 1: was literally that just insulting to like other whatever anyway,
Speaker 1: Um that's I mean, I will say I'm the reverse
Speaker 1: of my childish Gambido fandom because I liked him back
Speaker 1: in college when he was like our little secret I
Speaker 1: mean too. Well. The thing is like we I was
Speaker 1: in the sketch group that he and his uh like
Speaker 1: contemporaries like started, and so he was in the same
Speaker 1: program as me too at n y U, and we
Speaker 1: knew him from looking up to him because he is
Speaker 1: this like you know, up and coming, like the legend was.
Speaker 1: And this is true that while he was still in
Speaker 1: school he got hired as a writer on thirty Rock,
Speaker 1: and no one could believe that he was just like
Speaker 1: you ce be like kind of on genue, like he
Speaker 1: like really took off in a way that was like
Speaker 1: he was young and it was cool and there was
Speaker 1: a legend um and a writer and an actor and
Speaker 1: it was a legend. Like for the for the two
Speaker 1: thousand seven season MSN Now or for the two sees
Speaker 1: in ms and all when like t A went on
Speaker 1: for Serapalent, like he was like contender front runner for
Speaker 1: the for like an Obama. He was, he had auditioned
Speaker 1: and it didn't. But even back in the day, it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: Donald Glover is this guy who's going to blow up
Speaker 1: and then he did. Well it just the thing is
Speaker 1: he did blow up in in respective to like us,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like watching him as like
Speaker 1: people that were younger. But it's crazy and I mean
Speaker 1: crazy to see where it's gotten now, like he want
Speaker 1: to Fucking Emmy is like history. Making Emmy is like
Speaker 1: seeing him with the Golden Globes, seeing him at the
Speaker 1: same awards. Know was like fucking Rachel Bloom, who also
Speaker 1: we know, and it's just like to see them both.
Speaker 1: We know a lot of people. I'm not saying it
Speaker 1: like that. I'm just saying it's fucking crazy because those
Speaker 1: people that, like you, were told we're special and thought
Speaker 1: were special, like really were on this huge scale and
Speaker 1: that's like surreal. And so that's why I ask you
Speaker 1: about him, because he's like such a thing. Right, we're
Speaker 1: gonna say I was gonna say, I want to make
Speaker 1: the discussion distinction. I love Donald Glover, but childish Gambino
Speaker 1: I was a totally here that I will say something
Speaker 1: kind of obnoxious. Now I feel like that sentiment that
Speaker 1: you just expressed him out of, Like these people who
Speaker 1: were told are special really did end up being that way.
Speaker 1: I feel like I kind of I feel that way
Speaker 1: now with like this like this this community that sounds
Speaker 1: so colin, but like I like, I feel like the
Speaker 1: Jabookies of the world, the you know, the little the
Speaker 1: little Joe Firestones of the world she was she was
Speaker 1: on last week, Like you know, like that's I just
Speaker 1: genuinely feel like it's it's such a It's so cool
Speaker 1: because you look up there and you're like, if I
Speaker 1: could happen to them, like it truly can happen to
Speaker 1: to us and to anybody, and not because I feel
Speaker 1: like they're the same as us, They're not more talented
Speaker 1: than us. But I just feel like, you see it
Speaker 1: realized in a way, and it's so crazy to see
Speaker 1: not only Rachel and Donald We'll go up there and
Speaker 1: win Emmy's It's not just that they created their own
Speaker 1: ship and are in it in every way. They're starring
Speaker 1: in it, they're writing it there, directing it, show running it,
Speaker 1: and that is there are these utters. It's it's crazy,
Speaker 1: and you know, hearing that he was a musician was
Speaker 1: like extra, Like I was just reading an article today
Speaker 1: that was like talking about but I guess because the
Speaker 1: Emmys are over now, they're thinking about what the next
Speaker 1: award show is and it's like they're gonna be the
Speaker 1: Grammys and it's like Childish Camby. You know, well, they're
Speaker 1: like in February. I guess the Oscars aren't until March, so, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. For some reason, I guess because the
Speaker 1: submission deadline is happening for the year that you can
Speaker 1: be eligible Photogrammars because it ends on September thirty. That's
Speaker 1: how the Grammy year works. Um. They were talking about
Speaker 1: like what is going to be within that period, what
Speaker 1: we should look for, and it was like Childish Gamby
Speaker 1: and a childish can being on. Like if this guy
Speaker 1: goes up there and wins six Grammys, now, like that's crazy.
Speaker 1: He's so absurdly talented, it's bizarre to wrap your mind around.
Speaker 1: And I just started watching I just caught up on
Speaker 1: at Lantown and I'm like, God, it's I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: it's frustratingly good. It's like, damn it, Like I wish
Speaker 1: it's because it's good enough at this inaccessible enough, that's
Speaker 1: at the at the level where you're like, oh, like
Speaker 1: why didn't I come up with that? Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: this whole hisle episode, like in this on this you know,
Speaker 1: public Access talks so good, like like that's so simple
Speaker 1: and straightforward enough, and he has commercial parodies. It's like
Speaker 1: that was a whole episode, this whole episode, and it's
Speaker 1: like I it's like I could have thought of that,
Speaker 1: and like and this is a very solopsistic thing, but
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you know what I'm saying. It's
Speaker 1: like it's that kind of goodness that it's like but wait,
Speaker 1: like that's so simple and like you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's wild. It's a perfect medium, like truly a vision
Speaker 1: but also something that everyone can enjoy, right, because I
Speaker 1: have to get into that because I was intimidated by
Speaker 1: Atlanta because it's like it's gonna be Donald's thing. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be so so intellectually hefty and like great, and
Speaker 1: I don't know, I need to be in the right
Speaker 1: mood for that, but no, it's like the pilots almost perfect,
Speaker 1: basically perfect. Well you forget that he's also just the
Speaker 1: writer again, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, some
Speaker 1: of those old Derrek comedy sketches, do you know Derrek Comedy,
Speaker 1: like the old sketch group that he was in, So
Speaker 1: just go back, Like some of those sketches are a
Speaker 1: little problematic now, Like their first big literally their first
Speaker 1: huge sketch was called bro rape like like but it
Speaker 1: was a huge sketch and it was just like but
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like that's they're like
Speaker 1: not saying that humor now and I'm certain they're not
Speaker 1: proud of like that. And like Blowjob Girl featuring a
Speaker 1: then on um And also this other sketch which is
Speaker 1: called spelling be but but spelling and it's not it's wait, no,
Speaker 1: I remember that, yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, so funny
Speaker 1: and like and like it's fine. It's it's problematic, but
Speaker 1: it's fine because it's because it's at the time. It's
Speaker 1: all the time. I don't know if they're proud of
Speaker 1: that ship now, but I watch I'd watch any one
Speaker 1: and he says the word fagat and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: this is hilarious. Yeah, it's great. But but what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is like, deep within him there is that person
Speaker 1: that's just like a stupid comic, which is and I
Speaker 1: love it. Yeah, um you know yeah right right, and
Speaker 1: that he has to come back down to that at
Speaker 1: some point. I mean we all have. We almost returned
Speaker 1: to our baby. Yeah, there you go, Ruboki. Okay, I
Speaker 1: don't have to talk about what the pilot actually is,
Speaker 1: but you just finished, like you're like, is that like
Speaker 1: your like what's your like blue guy? Like and just
Speaker 1: answer this, Yeah, what do you wanna be doing this?
Speaker 1: Like as openly as you want? And like who cares
Speaker 1: about ego or anything? I don't know what for sure? Okay,
Speaker 1: go for it. Well, um, I want to be president
Speaker 1: of the United States. There you go. Well it's possible. Chicago,
Speaker 1: Chicago guy, Chicago guy Chicago and has one has done
Speaker 1: it before before? Exactly? Though? I umcoln. It's actually funny
Speaker 1: that we were talking about Donald Glover because he was
Speaker 1: really like the person who I saw growing up and
Speaker 1: was like, oh wait, you can like do comedy and
Speaker 1: you don't have to be like the star of it.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? I mean, like because when I
Speaker 1: found out about thirty Rock, and I was obsessed with
Speaker 1: dirty rock, and then I found out about like the
Speaker 1: writers from like reading Bossy Pants, and then I started
Speaker 1: learning more about Donald was like, oh, he was just
Speaker 1: like a writer on that, but he was also doing
Speaker 1: like acting. But like before, I had always wanted to
Speaker 1: be a comedian, but like all the comedians were like, oh,
Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle or like Kevin Hard or like like people
Speaker 1: who were at this unreachable level that made a scene
Speaker 1: so unreal, like not a thing that you could do.
Speaker 1: And Donald was really the first person that showed me like,
Speaker 1: oh no, this is a thing. There's like very viable,
Speaker 1: Like there's jobs in this that aren't necessarily like huge,
Speaker 1: but like you could for sure make a living. So yeah,
Speaker 1: for right now, I love writing, like loving in the
Speaker 1: writer's room. Um, that's like a super fun experience, just
Speaker 1: like you've got a good room right now. Yeah, it's amazing,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, it's so great, and everyone's like playing off
Speaker 1: of each other really well, and just the feeling of
Speaker 1: having like a brain trust with so many different voices
Speaker 1: that are like on the same page but like all
Speaker 1: contributing like their own unique inputs really sort of kind
Speaker 1: of puts their voices in your head where it's like
Speaker 1: now on other bits that I'll be writing, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: but like how would this person approach Like maybe I
Speaker 1: could try to like incorporate sort of a different angle
Speaker 1: from this. So yeah, right now I'm kind of just
Speaker 1: trying to experience everything really because I would like, I
Speaker 1: have a pilot written, UM would love to like produce
Speaker 1: that right for it, ideally starring it, but like I
Speaker 1: want that to be the most informed, like highest version
Speaker 1: of what I'm able to produce, and that requires me
Speaker 1: knowing like the technical aspects of it, like other things
Speaker 1: that I can't just like go in with like some
Speaker 1: bustle and album, and it also requires fucking time and
Speaker 1: like years. I mean, like we were talking before we
Speaker 1: went on and about Issa Ray and Insecure. So you
Speaker 1: watch the show obviously you did? You watch the Okay?
Speaker 1: I wish that you were caught up because I mean
Speaker 1: you you guys, and I think I know some of
Speaker 1: the big things that happen. I just finished the second
Speaker 1: season and I thought, like I did love the first season.
Speaker 1: I thought the second season was like something else. I
Speaker 1: thought it was like, just like, if not a perfected
Speaker 1: version of the show, because who's to say where it
Speaker 1: will go in season three could be even better, like
Speaker 1: a fucking home run. Um that season finale, there's a
Speaker 1: scene between Lawrence and Issa which is just like so written,
Speaker 1: so beautiful, so beautifully. Yeah, that was one of the
Speaker 1: most realistic breakup scenes I had seen on TV and
Speaker 1: a long time. It was, and it was it was
Speaker 1: like it it doesn't allow you to think, well, we'll
Speaker 1: see what happens with them, because that's not how things go,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It almost makes you it
Speaker 1: almost makes you say, well, how is he going to
Speaker 1: be a character on the show anymore? Because this show,
Speaker 1: this is a show about her and like she's closed
Speaker 1: a book on this Like it's so so hard to
Speaker 1: accomplish that in a scene. But you know, directorially, in
Speaker 1: terms of the rioting, in terms of the acting, it
Speaker 1: was like this beautiful goodbye and it was really well done.
Speaker 1: I think it was one of the best scenes I've
Speaker 1: seen on television. And I think that like along the
Speaker 1: way over the first two seasons, there's been there's been
Speaker 1: some scenes like in last ex episodes I talked about
Speaker 1: and I want to know what you thought about this.
Speaker 1: The scene where Molly finds out that her boyfriend Langston
Speaker 1: Kerman had Jared had been with a dude in college,
Speaker 1: and everyone was like, funk that he's gay. He's gay,
Speaker 1: he's gay. What did you What was your read on that? Um?
Speaker 1: For me, it was like that reads pretty true. Really Yeah.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who are like open mind,
Speaker 1: heavy air quotes that will be like so down for that,
Speaker 1: but they're like but not my men, Like wow, everyone
Speaker 1: can be like sexually open experimental with my man has
Speaker 1: to be hectoro sexual. So like I was like, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: that's just real. Yeah, And I felt like I was
Speaker 1: wondering if they were making a comment on like Molly
Speaker 1: the character, or this was just a thing that like
Speaker 1: women felt like this a lot. Yeah, yeah, that can
Speaker 1: be pretty I actually know a couple that ended like that.
Speaker 1: It was like oh no, no, no no, no, like he's
Speaker 1: like I think you're gay, Like, yeah, it's rough. It's
Speaker 1: a real life thing. If your boyfriend ever like to puss,
Speaker 1: what would you do? Well? He used to tell me,
Speaker 1: I will embarrass it by saying he did. Used to
Speaker 1: tell me that he wasn't like a Kinsey six gay
Speaker 1: like he like then he was like sometimes to try
Speaker 1: to do women, Like sometimes you would come home and
Speaker 1: be like, I was it drifting to a woman? And
Speaker 1: I was like what I was like? And that makes
Speaker 1: me that that causes me to ask so many questions
Speaker 1: because I'm like, because I would absolutely and I love women.
Speaker 1: I can't even dream of having sex with a woman. Dream.
Speaker 1: But you're not a gold star gay. You've had sex
Speaker 1: with wom No, I really have not. I am a
Speaker 1: gold Yeah, I bet you're not goltar Is. You haven't
Speaker 1: goltar Is. You haven't had sex with a woman. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I'm guilty. Wow, you platinum if you are a cesarian section,
Speaker 1: which means you've never gone through Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: am platinum. To describe what platinum is, Platinum is like
Speaker 1: you like have never touched a vagina platinum c section? No, Like,
Speaker 1: but what are you talking about? Section? Like surgically like
Speaker 1: just cesarian sections out like they did not pass through
Speaker 1: the the vagina you know what? Right? Yes, sure so
Speaker 1: they have, Like you're a gay who has not even
Speaker 1: like whatever it is, I'm platinum. I've only not a
Speaker 1: titty over a shirt? Did you know, you know you're
Speaker 1: not platinum, Matt, did Katrina? Were you born through? So? No?
Speaker 1: I was born through the vaginal canal the star. But
Speaker 1: that's unfair. We have to celebrate. She couldn't tell rate
Speaker 1: platinum wild? But I bet girls do you try to
Speaker 1: hit on you all the time when they don't know? Still? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And do you let them know? No, No, that's a
Speaker 1: stupid question. No, it's not a stupid question. Let's just
Speaker 1: let it right out. You know. Sometimes I am not
Speaker 1: off forward enough and then it's like this has gone
Speaker 1: on too long. Yeah, and then you gotta you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta have some Sometimes I'll be able to take
Speaker 1: my platinum. I'll be at work and I'll be like
Speaker 1: doing my thing with the tables, and I'm like, not
Speaker 1: not gay, you know what I mean? Like I'm like
Speaker 1: definitely gay. Well, I guess because I will get so
Speaker 1: many phone numbers from women, that's right. And I'll be like,
Speaker 1: this is crazy to me because I definitely just left
Speaker 1: her table being like sure thing, like saying sure thing,
Speaker 1: like I know, smooth shut so gay, so gay. I
Speaker 1: feel like I know a couple of straight guys that
Speaker 1: will definitely gay it up in service positions or just
Speaker 1: like because it works their benefit. It's like non threatening.
Speaker 1: You know, it's straight guys, damn it. So the straight guys.
Speaker 1: Maybe if a girl's on a date with a guy,
Speaker 1: the guy can't think like this fucking server is trying
Speaker 1: to hit on my girlfriend. They can think, oh, this
Speaker 1: guy is gay, or he's cool and getting a tip. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and sometimes it's just like low as women's defenses too.
Speaker 1: Sure it makes them feel No, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. Straight guys gang And that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like at the end of the day though,
Speaker 1: that that's the thing. Be yourself, just be yourself. That's
Speaker 1: I don't like it. It's appropriation. Yeah, there you go,
Speaker 1: don't up, don't call up. Sure thing. I might as
Speaker 1: well be on a scooter at work, I said, I
Speaker 1: say literal sure thing. You bet you classici I am. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that's you know what. On the other side
Speaker 1: of that, I will get it up. When I am
Speaker 1: a customer and it's like this, it's usually it's like
Speaker 1: a female, you know, person behind the count, like just
Speaker 1: a female behind the counter, and just to like break
Speaker 1: that tension, I'll just be like thank you. I'll just
Speaker 1: like thanks so much, you know what, just to like
Speaker 1: add some levity to that. I don't know, how do
Speaker 1: you think you're to get be treated better? Because I
Speaker 1: think I don't know, you know what, there's no function.
Speaker 1: That's just who I am. Straight guys who gave it
Speaker 1: up in service jobs. That's that's not necessarily even service.
Speaker 1: But like I can see where it's like, oh no,
Speaker 1: like I see, I see what's going on. Yeah, I see,
Speaker 1: I see what's what's happening? You know? Well, well, have
Speaker 1: you ever been in a service position? Um? Yes, what
Speaker 1: did you do? I was working at a pizza place
Speaker 1: for a couple of months, only a couple of months. Yeah,
Speaker 1: only a couple of months. Literally, in the middle of
Speaker 1: my shift, I was like preparing a pepperoni pizza and
Speaker 1: I just like put it down. I was like, honestly,
Speaker 1: this like is not for me. And the manager was like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you want to do cashier or like, do you
Speaker 1: want to sweep or something. I'm like, no, it isn't,
Speaker 1: Like this job is just not for me. So, um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, oh my god, how old were you?
Speaker 1: I was? Yeah, that was my first real job. That's
Speaker 1: that's crazy. I would never have the balls. And how
Speaker 1: many times I wanted to do that? Thousands? I've been
Speaker 1: for eleven years. Yeah, and then I also worked at
Speaker 1: Clark's Shoes ever god like, it was so vicious, it
Speaker 1: was ugly. Oh my god, oh my god, my god.
Speaker 1: I quit that one pretty bold too. So I went
Speaker 1: in on Mother's Day late as hell, like passive aggressively late.
Speaker 1: I was like forty five minutes late. And I had
Speaker 1: like asked for Mother's Day off and she was like no,
Speaker 1: like I'm not gonna give it to you. So I
Speaker 1: come in late and then she was like, jabookie, you're
Speaker 1: late and I was like yeah, I know, it's like
Speaker 1: forty five minutes. She was like, well, I'm gonna write
Speaker 1: you up and I was like, I mean you should
Speaker 1: do that. That is like the proper recourse for lateness.
Speaker 1: And she was like, I want you to clean the
Speaker 1: bathroom and I was like sure, the bathroom at Clark's. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in the back and back, and I was like okay, cool,
Speaker 1: like that's a thing that we do with this job.
Speaker 1: And then she was like I want you to clean
Speaker 1: so good your mother would eat off of its, right.
Speaker 1: So then I wrote this long ass letter that was like, um,
Speaker 1: I almost said her name. I was like, my boss
Speaker 1: said these things to me, and I understand that, like
Speaker 1: this is a colloquial term, but this was sucked up
Speaker 1: for these reasons. And then like I literally dissected the
Speaker 1: sentence and then like explained why everything was sucked up
Speaker 1: and then called a racist and then I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm leaving, and I walked into work and then
Speaker 1: I put the letter down on the counter and I
Speaker 1: just turned around and walked right back out. Didn't say anything.
Speaker 1: I hope that she didn't read it and like throw
Speaker 1: it out. I hope someone is one of her superiors.
Speaker 1: She wasn't there that day, and I think like everyone
Speaker 1: Loki kind of didn't like her, so I know that
Speaker 1: they were eating that ship up in the bag. I
Speaker 1: just dropped that it's good for you for calling that
Speaker 1: out that like that that that racial element because it
Speaker 1: is just like so fucking gross and loaded and yeah,
Speaker 1: but like but like that's I mean, that's great. Like
Speaker 1: I feel like there is there there are so many
Speaker 1: lessons in both of those and jokes where it's like
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, like if you fucking hate a job,
Speaker 1: just leave it. Have you ever been in a service position. Yeah,
Speaker 1: first job was serving ice cream at Maggie Mouse, which
Speaker 1: is like a more cartoony version of Cold Stone. Did
Speaker 1: you sing? Did not sing for taps? And people would
Speaker 1: constantly ask you to sing for taps, like they would
Speaker 1: drop like a quarter in the in the in the
Speaker 1: bucket and I'd be like, and they'd be like, don't
Speaker 1: you sing? And I'd be like, no, sir, even though
Speaker 1: I could have could have belted the house down, and
Speaker 1: then you exactly um and uh yeah no. And it
Speaker 1: was awful. It was awful, and it was run by
Speaker 1: these like two Mormon lunatics and it freaks that freaks Matts.
Speaker 1: Matt's looking at me. It's horrible, like um, like a
Speaker 1: like Terry Gross would if I were to Did you
Speaker 1: ever feel like you're going to get carpetal tunnel from scooping? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I know I would would get like wrist ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've heard of breaking their wrists scooping ice cream. That's real.
Speaker 1: It isn't real. It was. It was bad and like
Speaker 1: hated hated the smell of any kind of dairy for
Speaker 1: like a solid two years, which is like I can't
Speaker 1: be around you didn't eat the ice cream you were there,
Speaker 1: you would eat it all the time, but then you
Speaker 1: would like fucking hate yourself because it was just like
Speaker 1: and that's that rich ice cream and it's just the
Speaker 1: smell klung on you See. I would say that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to ruin ice cream for myself, so I
Speaker 1: wouldn't work on ice cream place. But I would have
Speaker 1: worked at a seafood different safe restaurants for years and
Speaker 1: still would rather eat seafoold every day. That's interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't get enough of the stuff. And that's another thing.
Speaker 1: I love this stuff. There you go, that's I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, but no, I'm I'm like, I love this
Speaker 1: the way that Chabuki has quit his jobs. How do
Speaker 1: you make the checks? Now? Um? Writing? Honestly writing? Um
Speaker 1: stand up here and there and my living situation is
Speaker 1: just very interesting. So in uh basically like a socialist
Speaker 1: co op. Great wait where Yeah, it's in bedside it's
Speaker 1: off the Franklin a c. Yeah, and uh yeah it's
Speaker 1: really cool people. It's like a full um like four
Speaker 1: story brownstone, so there's like a decent amount of space
Speaker 1: and it's like protected by New York government and everything,
Speaker 1: so like the landlord really can't funk with us. Do
Speaker 1: you ever feel like you have alone time? Um? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I have my own room, so it's like I
Speaker 1: could always retreat to that. But in a way not
Speaker 1: not in a way that like a lot of people
Speaker 1: I know who have like two three roommates where it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: everyone's gone, like someone is always gone, So it's never
Speaker 1: like you have the house to yourself, you know, which
Speaker 1: is fine. What are your in? What ways do you contribute?
Speaker 1: Like like like how does this work? Like do you so? Um?
Speaker 1: Basically a part of the rent is utilities and groceries,
Speaker 1: So we like all go in on groceries and we
Speaker 1: have like bolt like Quinwa pasta rice like all that stuff,
Speaker 1: And honestly is a great model to actually more people
Speaker 1: should replicate it because you've saved so much money and
Speaker 1: you have you have food. Yeah I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's really cool. And yeah, you like split up
Speaker 1: duties like uh, like Sunday is like my day to
Speaker 1: like clean the kitchen or not because it's like high
Speaker 1: traffic as fun, So like there are some trade offs
Speaker 1: where it's like that's kind of a job, but it
Speaker 1: ends up being worth it now and then like yeah,
Speaker 1: it just you you just saves. It just pays. It
Speaker 1: doesn't pay for itself, but you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: it's so worthwhile. Um, it's great. Honestly, I would not
Speaker 1: have been able to stay in New York probably if
Speaker 1: I did not find a situation like that. How long
Speaker 1: have you been in New York? Now? I've been here
Speaker 1: a year and some moved here last July. Is one
Speaker 1: of those people who hits the ground fucking running hounds
Speaker 1: that pave remember his name. I was Chicago before that, right,
Speaker 1: and then all your life before that? Great? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: See like one Barack Obama who became president. I grew
Speaker 1: up in Harvey. It's like a suburb on like the
Speaker 1: far south side of Chicago. But it's weird because Chicago
Speaker 1: culture of like the South Side just kind of extends
Speaker 1: sort of into the suburbs just because of like gentrification.
Speaker 1: Same goes for the same goes for the same goes
Speaker 1: for like stuff like about like Steve saingoes for North
Speaker 1: Side too and whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, you know Chicago,
Speaker 1: not really, I pretend like I do, certainly, don't you
Speaker 1: certainly always tell people like if it made sense for
Speaker 1: me to move there, I would move there like that.
Speaker 1: I think people say that, but then no, there's just
Speaker 1: so oh my god, like horrible. There was one year,
Speaker 1: my freshman year of college portex Yes, it was the
Speaker 1: week after literally negative fifty degrees. We went, we we went,
Speaker 1: we went, we went to week after and it was
Speaker 1: like it was like seven degrees and we were like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, we're going to die. Like we ran
Speaker 1: out of groceries. We had to go to Jewel like
Speaker 1: two blocks away, and like it was so windy that
Speaker 1: my eyes were watering, but it was so cold that
Speaker 1: my eyelashes froze and I had to rub my eyes
Speaker 1: to get my eye open. Literally, So you can't go
Speaker 1: outside at that, you can't, Like you there are like
Speaker 1: three months out of the year that it's like fun
Speaker 1: to go outside of Chicago truly so beautiful, but it
Speaker 1: is negative five zero now okay with window but of course,
Speaker 1: but that is that's not for humans. That is plutonic.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine like literally if we were not like
Speaker 1: a civilized like like species like and that just decided
Speaker 1: to happen, like probably I one will be dead yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I protect yourself. No, yeah, you need slabs
Speaker 1: of concrete to separate you from there. Yeah, that's literally crazy.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget when we went through the week after
Speaker 1: the Poet Vortex and I would like skip into like
Speaker 1: a muffin store and like talk to the girl and
Speaker 1: be like I like it here? Do you like it here?
Speaker 1: And she'll be like, no, you have. You are so
Speaker 1: fucking annoying. You don't know what it's like. You weren't
Speaker 1: here last week. And I was like, well, this muffin
Speaker 1: is cheaper than it will be in New York, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you that. And you're friendly. Isn't the people there?
Speaker 1: She's like, I want to kill myself. I was like, bye,
Speaker 1: I need fine fair. I just I romanticize the times
Speaker 1: that I am there because I've I've had fun, fun,
Speaker 1: fun like I've only I've never had like a truly
Speaker 1: romanticize in Chicago Hamilton's I Yeah, no, I didn't get
Speaker 1: that at all, like benders of nights in Chicago and
Speaker 1: not really here. Oh you can be such an alcoholic
Speaker 1: and fun. It's a lot of fun. They sell alcohol
Speaker 1: everywhere everywhere, everywhere. You're just like I had to think
Speaker 1: about it, though, I had to honestly think about it. No,
Speaker 1: Taco Bell, Yes, what do they sell Margarita's the way
Speaker 1: they do with Chipotle? Sure? You ever get him Chipotle
Speaker 1: mar It's pretty good. It's okay Chipole. Chippole does case though. Now,
Speaker 1: isn't that wild? What probably does? It's crazy? I had
Speaker 1: something and it wasn't It was fine. Um, Chooba, they're
Speaker 1: coming for us, come outa coming. I don't think I've
Speaker 1: ever know. I have been to Kotoba there, Kudoba's out here.
Speaker 1: There used to be one on in my I think
Speaker 1: there is one. What did they turn that down there? Yeah?
Speaker 1: They threw it down? They said, did they turn it Downdoba.
Speaker 1: It's not going to work at this time, you're turned down.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say best gate club in the world. No,
Speaker 1: not as Scarlet. That's where we went and it was
Speaker 1: the best night. We were there in Chicago and it
Speaker 1: was cold, It's very cold, and Naomi Smalls came in
Speaker 1: after us, the drag queen. Yes, and it was Scarlett
Speaker 1: and it was lit. Any any opinions on gay bars
Speaker 1: on gay night like Chicago has the best gay night life,
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, Um, honestly, I was never really
Speaker 1: into it when I was out there, like it's really
Speaker 1: before It's like it's so aggressive, and it just was not. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's the Chicago guys are no joke, you know. I
Speaker 1: hooked up with the Lithuanian guy who was fifty years old.
Speaker 1: The story we haven't told this story, yes, all right,
Speaker 1: So this was when Paparulette went to Chicago's Sketch Fest
Speaker 1: like four years ago. Three years ago, okay, a long
Speaker 1: time ago now like four years ago, and I really
Speaker 1: hadn't gotten late in a long time, and we were
Speaker 1: all were kind of like, let's let's go out. We
Speaker 1: want to go on definitely like try to have sex.
Speaker 1: So we went to Berlin and I wore like this
Speaker 1: like three quarters sleeve like baseball shirt, like really trying
Speaker 1: to twink, like I was like really trying. So I
Speaker 1: walk in and immediately this guy's like says in like
Speaker 1: a Russian accent, Like I can't do a Russian accent.
Speaker 1: But he was like, it's my birthday tonight, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give you my business card. When you leave, call
Speaker 1: me and I'll have a car come pick you up
Speaker 1: and you'll come over and we'll have a good time. No,
Speaker 1: that wasn't him. It wasn't so I was like I
Speaker 1: was feeling good. So I was like, okay, cool, and
Speaker 1: I looked at my friends and I was like, I
Speaker 1: think this might really happen for me to now I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'll call this guy but them and
Speaker 1: then keep my options open. So then we start like
Speaker 1: fanning out, like dancing around, and our friend Dave gets
Speaker 1: like carried away by someone, and you and John Socolo
Speaker 1: were like dancing around and we would know and people
Speaker 1: were probab be looking at John. People were no I was.
Speaker 1: I was loving it because no one was looking at me.
Speaker 1: You were not interested in the in the meat. I
Speaker 1: was interested in the meat. But I was almost like
Speaker 1: op pressure is off, like no, like I'm not here
Speaker 1: for anything. Oh they're so racist, especially this place was
Speaker 1: all white guys. It was like all it was like
Speaker 1: Eastern European like Berlin's like Pixie Dream like manic Pixie
Speaker 1: dream girl gay barts like the white the quirky white
Speaker 1: gays go well, I like dressed the part and like
Speaker 1: I was like trying it. So this I feel like
Speaker 1: we're dancing and I just feel this one that cough
Speaker 1: behind me, and I'm like, okay, cool. So we continue
Speaker 1: to dance and I look over to Bowen and I go, Bowen,
Speaker 1: is he cute? Like I pointed, is he? I can't
Speaker 1: see him? Literally we couldn't see him at you should
Speaker 1: say that. I was right behind. I was next to
Speaker 1: Dave Well John John, Yeah, but Dave is like off
Speaker 1: with his guy. Dave's getting like dry humped in the
Speaker 1: corner so like, and then he actually he was now
Speaker 1: with a crazy guy who that guy tried to suck
Speaker 1: Dave's dick in the like absolutely not um. And that
Speaker 1: guy was like closet and was like I have to
Speaker 1: do it here because I can't go anywhere. And he
Speaker 1: was like that's so sad. But we got all this
Speaker 1: Chicago the cub. But I said to Bone is he cute?
Speaker 1: And Bone goes yeah, yeah, it was the opposite. John
Speaker 1: goes yeah, yeah, he's cute. And I said, bo, when
Speaker 1: is he cute? And Bone goes no, no. So at
Speaker 1: that point, oh my god, this is such a crazy story. Literally,
Speaker 1: if you're out there like the young days, never do this,
Speaker 1: like you could be dead. So I was, so he
Speaker 1: tells me like we would go we should go home now.
Speaker 1: I was like okay, So we go outside and tell
Speaker 1: them I'm leaving. We go outside. Delight hits him and
Speaker 1: I see he's like older, and which is fine, what
Speaker 1: just fine? But it's not what I thought was happening.
Speaker 1: I expected to turn around and I would see like
Speaker 1: some guy and it's like, you know, thirties. I was
Speaker 1: like twenty three. I knew he was older like and
Speaker 1: I was excited about it, but he was like older older,
Speaker 1: Um with him. So we get in the car and
Speaker 1: I said, and he tells the driver his address, and
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm like, um, do you live really far away?
Speaker 1: And he goes, everywhere in Chicago is very fun, and
Speaker 1: I was like, that doesn't sound like it could be true.
Speaker 1: Everywhere in Chicago was far. I think you asked him,
Speaker 1: so where do you live? He goes very far. I
Speaker 1: was like, like, you live like in Chicago? Right? He
Speaker 1: goes everywhere? And then I was like, um, how old
Speaker 1: are you? I just asked, and he goes, how old
Speaker 1: do you think I am? And I was like thirty five?
Speaker 1: He goes. I was like okay, cool, cool, cool, Um
Speaker 1: again fine, but then um, what what else do you say?
Speaker 1: In the car? It was like so there was like
Speaker 1: more insanity, and he said that he was like a nurse.
Speaker 1: He cares for the elderly all day and he never
Speaker 1: gets to like see anyone my age. And I said,
Speaker 1: I said, like, so, were you there alone? And he goes, yes,
Speaker 1: that is where I go to find them. I said,
Speaker 1: I said, fine, who he said, boys like you? And
Speaker 1: we're in the car leaving Chicago, like we're driving well
Speaker 1: out of the city, like, and we were in that
Speaker 1: cabby for a half hour we drove that's like evans no,
Speaker 1: we du so, and I keept saying to myself, like
Speaker 1: I do I ask this guy to pull over, Like
Speaker 1: I'm starting to get like a little unco was this
Speaker 1: pre or post uber? This was right as uber. We
Speaker 1: were definitely in a cab. So we eventually get to
Speaker 1: his place and again, mind you, this is like it's
Speaker 1: so fucking cold, everything is frozen over. So he's like,
Speaker 1: I live over here, and then we're like I have
Speaker 1: to like essentially ice skate across the spot to get
Speaker 1: to his apartment. And we get to his apartment. He
Speaker 1: opens the door and I swear to guy to we're
Speaker 1: like in like I don't know where the funk we are.
Speaker 1: We get to this apartment. He opened the door, and
Speaker 1: I swear to you it's an empty room with a
Speaker 1: bow flex machine, a mat, and a dog look at
Speaker 1: like a like a Doberman or something like sitting on
Speaker 1: the mat, like Eastern European thing. It was so so
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I need to use the restroom. I was like,
Speaker 1: I need to use the restroom. He goes, Okay, it's
Speaker 1: right over there. I'll be in the bedroom and like
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, Okay, I go into
Speaker 1: the bathroom and I'm like I was like, I was
Speaker 1: like I looked at myself in the mirror, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you literally could leave right now. Just walk out, walk
Speaker 1: back to the main road, like just wait for a
Speaker 1: taxi to come. Stand there, wait then you'll get in
Speaker 1: the cab. And I remembered John's address where he was staying.
Speaker 1: But I then I for some reason said to myself,
Speaker 1: like you know what, no, like I haven't experience like
Speaker 1: he's a nice guy, like this is fine whatever, like
Speaker 1: it's all good, like this is fine, like years old,
Speaker 1: like he's a little older, he's a little weird. He's
Speaker 1: just far and he's not strange. He's not got anything.
Speaker 1: He's a quirky white guy at Berlin by himself. So
Speaker 1: I go back out, and then I also realized I
Speaker 1: couldn't leave because I had taken my shoes off, which
Speaker 1: is so stupid. So I go back out and he's
Speaker 1: like fully naked on the bed and it was like
Speaker 1: he was like, all right, come on, let's do this.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god. So I proceed
Speaker 1: to get undressed, and before anything can happen, I just
Speaker 1: go no, there's absolutely no way. So then I turn
Speaker 1: on this performance where I just say like, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: I can't do this. I just broke it with my
Speaker 1: boyfriend and this is not true. I'm just start having
Speaker 1: this scene and he says to me, and I'm laying
Speaker 1: on the bed at this point, and I don't have
Speaker 1: my clothes on. So I go to get up and
Speaker 1: he takes me and pushes me back on the dead
Speaker 1: and I said no. I was like if I looked
Speaker 1: at him and I said, this is not happening. So
Speaker 1: then he gets off and he starts like almost crying.
Speaker 1: He's like I'm so lonely. He's like, I they always leave.
Speaker 1: All the boys that I bring back here, they always leave.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm so sorry. I wish I
Speaker 1: wasn't in such emotional turmoil like getting dressed again, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like uh, And I thought
Speaker 1: to myself like you're crazy, like you're hurting this guy's feeling.
Speaker 1: And then the other part of me was like, no,
Speaker 1: get then you should never have come. I was like,
Speaker 1: imagine like hearing like my mother hearing this is how
Speaker 1: I went. Yeah, on the bed, but I was with you.
Speaker 1: But the thing is like I was in the worst place.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is literally how people die.
Speaker 1: They go with single people that are like older by themselves,
Speaker 1: who literally said he goes there to find boys. And
Speaker 1: I was like no. I freaked out and I was like,
Speaker 1: get me the fuck out of here. So I get
Speaker 1: dressed and I go to leave, and I'm like and
Speaker 1: the door was like like locked from the inside, and
Speaker 1: I'm like can you open this? He's like you please,
Speaker 1: I please, And I was like I'm not going to
Speaker 1: and the dog is looking at me like also begging
Speaker 1: me to start, and he just holds me at the
Speaker 1: door and I was like, oh my god, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And he eventually lets me go. That's
Speaker 1: when I realized it's like literally four in the morning
Speaker 1: in a part of like Illinois that I don't fucking now,
Speaker 1: and we're so far away, so and it's so cold.
Speaker 1: So I walk out to the main road and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the funk, Like, I'm literally gonna wait for it.
Speaker 1: See I seriously literally fifteen twenty minutes, like on the
Speaker 1: side of the road, like by myself. I had no
Speaker 1: other way because Uber wasn't like really a thing. So
Speaker 1: finally it actually comes and I jump in, and also,
Speaker 1: you know, my phone was like on six percent. So
Speaker 1: we got in and I got the take back, take
Speaker 1: me back to the city. Yeah, And I got in
Speaker 1: and the doorman was like looking at me like what
Speaker 1: the fuck? Like it was like literally four in the morning,
Speaker 1: and I was sleeping with Boone and I crawled into
Speaker 1: that with Bowen and I'll let you say this, So
Speaker 1: we were showing yourself about the night before and then
Speaker 1: this night when Matt comes back, he's wasted. I'm basically
Speaker 1: coming out of a drunken stupor. But I'm asleep, but
Speaker 1: I wake up to him to his body over mine,
Speaker 1: with just a terrifyingly drunken grant and he goes a
Speaker 1: study like mine has never been told. I did not
Speaker 1: do the accent, but I didn't say the line for
Speaker 1: memoirs had never been told, and it was. And then
Speaker 1: I screamed, said get the fun off. And then yes,
Speaker 1: I told the story the next morning, and no one
Speaker 1: believed me. And it's so funny and it also said
Speaker 1: a lot of really weird ship and I can't remember,
Speaker 1: but oh my god, thank you for indulging that story, Jabouki.
Speaker 1: Before we move on, we want to ask you Chicago
Speaker 1: is weird? Chicago is great? Um, just just say yes
Speaker 1: or now still single? Yes? Damn wow check that out. Guys. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm only asking because because I'm following up on the
Speaker 1: Alps and also looking, um but I don't really have
Speaker 1: I don't really have time. Also really just rethinking monogamy
Speaker 1: get into this, Okay, you want to talk about this? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I just um don't think that it really works for
Speaker 1: me at this point in my life. And yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think that it's that you should shut it for us.
Speaker 1: It is it is such a conversation. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: whole thing. It's really such a whole thing. And I
Speaker 1: don't have the education or the knowledge to really speak
Speaker 1: on that. That's fine. I'm such like in the beginning stages,
Speaker 1: have you been in your relationship before M and but
Speaker 1: and that's how he knows yea and also try to
Speaker 1: do like the open thing. But it was so clear
Speaker 1: that I was like way more comfortable with that then s. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's very hard. It's it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: like a whole another layer two in the gay community,
Speaker 1: because there's so many couples that are open, and you're
Speaker 1: just like, gosh, that's it's just because it works for
Speaker 1: them doesn't mean it works for you. But you do
Speaker 1: compare yourself to those couples all the time. I mean, hey, listen, people, Uh,
Speaker 1: Jabouki is available, but he's not exactly down for um.
Speaker 1: You know what, if you fell in love with Jabooki
Speaker 1: while listening to this, you need to relax. You need
Speaker 1: to relax because Jabouki, like all celebs, you don't know him.
Speaker 1: You don't know you only heard him speak for a
Speaker 1: little bit over and were you don't fucking know him.
Speaker 1: And also he's not that into maybe that kind of
Speaker 1: relationship right now. So everyone listening to this, fucking relax, relax,
Speaker 1: just get step off, step off. The title of this
Speaker 1: episode will be like, will be relaxed, step off, relaxed,
Speaker 1: step off. U monogamy is dead. Okay, um, let's move
Speaker 1: on to I don't Yeah, there you go. Let's move
Speaker 1: on to I don't think so, honey. This is the
Speaker 1: moment I don't think so, honey. The length of the
Speaker 1: story I just told I'm so sorry. I mean, was
Speaker 1: it really saga? But I loved it. And the build up,
Speaker 1: the build up in the day New Well, the build
Speaker 1: up all goes to you crouching over me and saying, quoting,
Speaker 1: quoting a movie to me, it was completely repulsive and
Speaker 1: that was it. That's That's like I was younger than
Speaker 1: and didn't understand. I'm not saying it's like the movie itself.
Speaker 1: It was inappropriate. Just you whispering that in my ear
Speaker 1: and someone, I'm a gross drunk. You're such a gross
Speaker 1: drunk and it infuriates me. I called b one one
Speaker 1: time when I didn't have Uber on my phone, and
Speaker 1: I said, call me an uber and he has a
Speaker 1: sponds was you're so drunk, and you know what, I
Speaker 1: had to call him the uber from my phone and
Speaker 1: tell him, like a friend, Matt, when you get into
Speaker 1: the car, you make sure you say my name okay,
Speaker 1: And he was like what why? And like a friend? Yes, Um,
Speaker 1: you know I haven't had to put matth through that scenario.
Speaker 1: Let you would see me die on the street. No, no, Matt,
Speaker 1: I very so for a fact that I wouldn't let
Speaker 1: that happen. But I don't know if I can say
Speaker 1: the same about to let that happen. But bone would
Speaker 1: give you ship about it. There you go. You know what,
Speaker 1: maybe I'd rather die. Maybe i'd rather be. Didn't let
Speaker 1: you die of the thing, you idiot, that's what's important.
Speaker 1: I was in red hook at one in the morning.
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, just and I told you, I said, Matt,
Speaker 1: download Uber on your phone at the time. Uber was
Speaker 1: my phone's not good? Come on? Um? I thought his
Speaker 1: computer couldn't make PDFs, all right? So this is I
Speaker 1: don't think some honey, this is our one minute. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say screed, and I just learned today screed
Speaker 1: actually means long, boring speech, which is not. People in
Speaker 1: the press have described I don't Think so Honey as
Speaker 1: a screed, and it's not. Yeah, shockingly, Um, we've been
Speaker 1: using vocabulary words wrong, which for brown is bone is
Speaker 1: very off. Brandon for me is like pretty part for
Speaker 1: the course. It is not a screed. It is the
Speaker 1: total opposite. It's a short, concentrated, fiery, passionate parcels what
Speaker 1: screeds should mean. That's what it sounds like a screen.
Speaker 1: It's like an aggressive word, right, And I was shocked
Speaker 1: at like it's like nonplused. It's like it doesn't it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean we think it means. So, um, we can
Speaker 1: get into that. I'm so nonplussed right now. I'm nonplussed.
Speaker 1: Right now you're angry. Yes, I'm nonplussed. We haven't started.
Speaker 1: But people use it all the time, like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: like she didn't care she was nonplused. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: that's not the right word anyway, but it may it
Speaker 1: may be one of those things like literally, so if
Speaker 1: I'm plussed, then then you're like, yeah, you got sos, alright,
Speaker 1: let's do I don't think you're gonna go first. I'll
Speaker 1: go first. All right, This is Boon Yang's I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, and his time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Wine bars that don't have peanot grausio,
Speaker 1: what the funk are you doing? I was just at
Speaker 1: a wine bar earlier today, and I asked, can I
Speaker 1: have a peanot grigio or like a buttery shardon a,
Speaker 1: but I would prefer the pinot grig show. And this
Speaker 1: man had the nerve to tell me we don't have
Speaker 1: peanot grigio, and I I had, I took everything I
Speaker 1: mean to say to not say to him. You're a
Speaker 1: wine bar, how dare you? I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: You better fulfill your promise as a wine bar to
Speaker 1: include every type of white wine. And I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: of these places. The atmosphere, Honey, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know, honey. The atmosphere at most wine bars is bullshit.
Speaker 1: And I can emulate this experience at home. And I
Speaker 1: don't think so, hony, of these places that charge me
Speaker 1: twelve dollars, twelve dollars for a class of ship. I'm sorry, blanc,
Speaker 1: because that's what I had. You know, what is is
Speaker 1: still very fresh in my memory. So I don't too much.
Speaker 1: I don't have the enough distance to really comment on this,
Speaker 1: but I just know that I'm mad. I have I
Speaker 1: have fury, and I don't think so honey, wine bars
Speaker 1: that don't have peanot griggio. That's one minute. It's a
Speaker 1: shame that four of those seconds were apologetic, apologized. No,
Speaker 1: but you know what, I'm just being really up front
Speaker 1: emotionally with how I feel about this, and I think
Speaker 1: that it is a shame that that wine bar didn't
Speaker 1: have peenot grigio. Ridiculous, ridiculous, despite that's kind of out
Speaker 1: of control. It's crazy. No, that's actually crazy. That's such
Speaker 1: a staple. It's it's white. Why white. I do prefer
Speaker 1: Savigna blanc. I had a great Savigna bloc there, But
Speaker 1: like they if they have peanot, if they have peanot noir,
Speaker 1: and anybody as well have peinot griggio. If you have
Speaker 1: the black, might as well have the gray I mean noir,
Speaker 1: of course. Okay, of course we all know that, we
Speaker 1: all knew this. Okay, so this is Matt Rodgers. I
Speaker 1: don't think yeah, okay, this is his time and it
Speaker 1: starts right now. I don't think so honey Dunkin Donuts
Speaker 1: because now if I want to order the sausage can
Speaker 1: cheese croissant, it doesn't necessarily come with the hash browns.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey dunkin Donuts. There's no meal
Speaker 1: option for this anymore. I went the other day and
Speaker 1: I said, excuse me, honey, can I get the sausage
Speaker 1: and cheese meal? And they said that we don't do that.
Speaker 1: I was like, excuse me, honey, I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: I want the hash browns. He said, you'll have to
Speaker 1: order it separately. I said, I don't think, so honey.
Speaker 1: Of course I did because I wanted to hash browns.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, why should I have to I
Speaker 1: don't understand, honey. And then also I have to order
Speaker 1: my coffee separate. Excuse me. Also, I don't think so
Speaker 1: honey Dunking Donuts. You load that ship up with sugar.
Speaker 1: When I ordered a coffee ice, light and sweet, don't
Speaker 1: give me these mouthons of sugar, honey, milk and too
Speaker 1: much milk. It feels like I'm in that Tiger and
Speaker 1: the Laddin that collapses. It's so much sand and sugar
Speaker 1: in that glass. I don't think so, that's one. He
Speaker 1: feels like the Tiger and Aladdin. Did you get what
Speaker 1: I was meaning you when I said that, like you
Speaker 1: are you are the Cave of wonders Tiger, or like
Speaker 1: when I drink a coffee, it's like consuming the cave
Speaker 1: of wonders Tiger. Yeah, it's like what happened if you
Speaker 1: were in the cave of wonders, which I just found
Speaker 1: is what it's called. I was calling up the sand tiger. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you were in the santiger and a collapse in
Speaker 1: your mouth would surely fill with sand, which is what
Speaker 1: I feel happens. When I take even one sip of
Speaker 1: an iced coffee light and sweet from dungantanas, my mouth
Speaker 1: fills with proverbial sand aka sugar, and it's too much
Speaker 1: for me. Sugar also known as proverbial sand. Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is jabooky young wines, very persecuted on today's episode. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is jabooky young whites. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: are you ready, jabook? I'm ready? Okay, And I think
Speaker 1: he gave us a little hint about what it was
Speaker 1: before we went on air. I think I'm very excited
Speaker 1: for this. This is jabuky young whites. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Time starts now. I don't think so, honey, take her tots, okay.
Speaker 1: I don't y'all want to be French fries literally so bad.
Speaker 1: But you are not French fries, and you will ever
Speaker 1: be French fries or legacy will never compare to French fries.
Speaker 1: You will always be a side dish in kids meals,
Speaker 1: no matter how artisanal you get. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: I don't care if you put a little garlic gaoli
Speaker 1: on the side, honey. I don't think so all right,
Speaker 1: I will always choose some steak fries over you, fries
Speaker 1: over some some shoes string fries over you. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. Tater tots. You're never cooked all the
Speaker 1: way through. Your inside is flavorless. So I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey. I want seconds brown blakey fries and not
Speaker 1: that soggy tater tot bullshit. I don't think so. You're nasty,
Speaker 1: You're wrong. You're a food gastro abomination. Wowny know what
Speaker 1: else about they fall apart? Yes, that's by design. I said,
Speaker 1: fuck you, I'm not with it. I'm not I want
Speaker 1: my food to be whole. I like jabooky. I don't
Speaker 1: know about shoestring fries. To be honest, are you would
Speaker 1: you take shoestring fries over steak fries? Oh? No, there
Speaker 1: you go, steak string shoestring are the worst variety at
Speaker 1: the bottom, but there's still above. Tatoo tatoots are garbage.
Speaker 1: How do you feel like hash browns? Gross? What the
Speaker 1: fucking little like oval hash browns? Or are you talking
Speaker 1: about like hash Okay, like hash browns like I think
Speaker 1: we can agree on hashbrowns, like like pants, like trying pancake.
Speaker 1: Hash bands are delicious, but they're two different kinds we're
Speaker 1: talking about like McDonald I'm talking about McDonald's. Those are
Speaker 1: disc god, my favorite of my favorite food. You are
Speaker 1: culture No, no, no, I don't know about They leave
Speaker 1: this really gross taste in your mouth. Like what was this?
Speaker 1: You said you were in this argument with someone else
Speaker 1: about tater tots today? What were they saying? Okay, I
Speaker 1: dropped it in the room. Looked at me like I
Speaker 1: was crazy, because I kind of a kind to believe
Speaker 1: you are. Yeah, Like they were all just saying that
Speaker 1: I hadn't had the right Tater Toto. It was a
Speaker 1: little parallel to homophobia. Honestly, God that Dylan Marin. I
Speaker 1: want to say, you haven't have you been to kryft Dog's,
Speaker 1: no taters kryptogs. Honestly, everyone says that I tried some
Speaker 1: tatter tests today. It was all right. I had half
Speaker 1: brons today and I wanted to bottom for them, bottom
Speaker 1: out for brown, for hash brown. But there's nothing like
Speaker 1: your McDonald's hash brown, and there's nothing like them good
Speaker 1: good McDonald's fries when they're nice and salty? Bitch? Is
Speaker 1: that your sponsor? Our sponsor today? Did you imagine McDonald
Speaker 1: I want McDonald's money for this podcast, Hpjans? Oh wow,
Speaker 1: those were that was That was great? That was you
Speaker 1: know what I will say, Matt and I came today
Speaker 1: with them. Some retail based, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Some institutional based, I don't think so. It's right like
Speaker 1: I would have to attack big big food, But I
Speaker 1: think you punch up, punch up, punch up with Jabooky,
Speaker 1: punched way way up because Jabooky took on a whole
Speaker 1: food type which you know pervades everything. Yeah, but who
Speaker 1: do you think has more money? Tater Tots? Or duncan.
Speaker 1: I think or Rida has so much fun, has a
Speaker 1: big big potato, has everything big Potato. Maybe the episode
Speaker 1: is called big Potato, Big Potato. That's cute. Jabooky is adorable.
Speaker 1: J Everyone relax, everyone relaxed. Do you think so much
Speaker 1: for coming and taking bad? This is very fun. We
Speaker 1: had a very good time. I got Jabookey on Twitter, jabuie.
Speaker 1: What can people follow you at Jabooky? There you go,
Speaker 1: Jerry Booky every plot and imagine just getting your first name.
Speaker 1: Imagine if I was at Matt do you imagine? I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine that is It's been amazing for branding
Speaker 1: on I would fully believe Francesca Ramsey has this like
Speaker 1: a fun little like like branding like the thing that
Speaker 1: I read. She's like, keep your handles the same across
Speaker 1: all platforms, which is brilliant. Brilliant dot com dot com Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah about it, get it, get get good, get it unlocked.
Speaker 1: I spent three million dollars on Matt dot Com. I
Speaker 1: guess we're off to the world, aren't we to see it?
Speaker 1: Congret Perhaps I'm someone that you will never truly know,
Speaker 1: no matter how big I get, no matter what interviews
Speaker 1: you see me do you will never truly know me
Speaker 1: and also don't presume to know me. And our guest
Speaker 1: has been someone who has changed the zeitgeist in the
Speaker 1: money first century more than anybody. Okay, hie, guys. Bye,
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and please remember to get your tickets
Speaker 1: to either or both of our shows coming up in
Speaker 1: November Coach War as part of New York Comedy Festival
Speaker 1: on November seven, or I Don't Think So Honey Live
Speaker 1: as part of the Brooklyn Podcast Festival at the Bellhouse
Speaker 1: on November eight. Thank you. This has been a Forever
Speaker 1: Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio, and
Speaker 1: Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog
Speaker 1: Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the
Speaker 1: latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and
Speaker 1: Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.