Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the
Speaker 1: home office in Austin, Texas. It's good to be home.
Speaker 1: We are zeroing in on our wedding day, LZ. And
Speaker 1: that is what is going to take us to open
Speaker 1: up the playbook today, not just to talk about our wedding,
Speaker 1: but something very interesting came up. Somebody reached out to
Speaker 1: us via the most Dramatic pod Instagram, left us say
Speaker 1: a DM and asked this very important question and really
Speaker 1: made a good point. And it's about getting gifts at
Speaker 1: your wedding when it's not your first wedding. Should this
Speaker 1: still be a thing? I think this came to us
Speaker 1: because I think it's well known you and I have
Speaker 1: had weddings before. We're about to do number two together,
Speaker 1: and obviously we are older, we are successful, We've had
Speaker 1: our success, we have our house, we have our things.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about it?
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, let's share what we're doing.
Speaker 3: Which and we were both completely on the same page
Speaker 3: right from the start. As soon as the words came
Speaker 3: out of my mouth, I said to Chris, no, I
Speaker 3: don't want to ask for any gifts at the wedding
Speaker 3: and you right away we're like, yes, I was thinking
Speaker 3: the same thing. So we are just we listed a
Speaker 3: couple of our favorite charities.
Speaker 2: And we do not expect anybody to give to those.
Speaker 3: But if you would be the person, because you know,
Speaker 3: sometimes even if you don't have a registry, your friends
Speaker 3: still yeah feel like they should give you a gift,
Speaker 3: and so then they get you something. No, like I
Speaker 3: don't want that if you were going to put your
Speaker 3: money towards anything, if you feel like you have to
Speaker 3: please do a donation instead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think a lot of Lauren's friends should get
Speaker 1: her like a lot of kitchen stuff, a lot of
Speaker 1: cooking like croc pot.
Speaker 2: Gift certificate for golf lessons.
Speaker 1: No, so we are no, it is our thing, is
Speaker 1: we We immediately said we do not want gifts. We
Speaker 1: just want people to come celebrate and be with us
Speaker 1: and don't think about the gift thing because it is
Speaker 1: you know, you're like, what do we get and we're
Speaker 1: not going to register anywhere. So we thought the charity
Speaker 1: thing would be a good idea if you want to give
Speaker 1: to one of our favorite charities.
Speaker 2: But I'll take it.
Speaker 3: A step further us aside level of success aside. I
Speaker 3: don't think you should ask people for a gift if
Speaker 3: it's your second one either. I think you've already done
Speaker 3: it once and you can't be doing it again. There
Speaker 3: is a whole episode of Sex in the City about
Speaker 3: how Carrie she goes to her friend's house for a party.
Speaker 3: The friend asked everybody to take their shoes off at
Speaker 3: the door, and you remember, Carrie Bradshaw has very expensive shoes,
Speaker 3: shoes that cost hundreds of dollars. Somebody another party gifts
Speaker 3: and she doesn't know who takes her shoes, and so
Speaker 3: she says to her friend whose house it was, Hey,
Speaker 3: I kind of think you should replace my shoes. And
Speaker 3: the friend thinks that's ridiculous and says, well, Carrie, I
Speaker 3: wasn't my choice for you to buy these expensive shoes.
Speaker 3: And Carrie then adds up how much she spent on
Speaker 3: getting this friend baby shower gifts for every baby wedding gifts,
Speaker 3: and Carrie's like, wait a minute, I've never been married
Speaker 3: and I've never had kids. Where's my equivalent of baby
Speaker 3: shites and wedding gifts? Can't you at least replace my
Speaker 3: shoes that were stolen at your house. And it's such
Speaker 3: a good point because we celebrate certain things, right, I
Speaker 3: said to my mom once, you know, Mom, I should
Speaker 3: I throw a party for myself that I got a
Speaker 3: new job, and people should people get me gifts for that?
Speaker 3: It's not really fair. So all that being said, I
Speaker 3: certainly do not think we should be asking people to
Speaker 3: give us gifts for a second wedding.
Speaker 1: I think there is out of necessity. And that's where
Speaker 1: this came from. The whole tradition of it is.
Speaker 2: It used to be it was like we're helping you
Speaker 2: start your life.
Speaker 1: Well, you're getting married. Especially used to get married much younger,
Speaker 1: like that was a thing, you know, back when this
Speaker 1: whole tradition started, and you're starting your life. And honestly,
Speaker 1: it helps when I first got married, and probably it
Speaker 1: did for you as well, because you get your pots
Speaker 1: and pans and you get your dishes and that you're
Speaker 1: starting your life and that's it's a fun thing and
Speaker 1: you're registering. But as you're older, you got your pots
Speaker 1: and pans and your bowls and your cups and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. So yeah, I agree, first one fine, second one, no,
Speaker 1: across the board.
Speaker 2: People register for some weird stuff too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: When one of my friends and grants, we were like
Speaker 3: twenty three, she got married right out of college. It
Speaker 3: was like she just registered for not I mean, she
Speaker 3: registered for toiletries. I remember on her registry there were
Speaker 3: like razors and like chlorox, and I'm like, babe, register
Speaker 3: for a mixture. You know, I'm just doing your grocery shopping.
Speaker 1: Cornnuts and I need some milk or low on eggs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you get on your way to the wedding,
Speaker 3: stop and get some ice, that would be great.
Speaker 2: It's always ice, It's always ice.
Speaker 3: I don't think you should have gifts the second time around.
Speaker 3: And I also think if you're going to ask people
Speaker 3: to give you gifts for a wedding, I think you
Speaker 3: have to factor in how much is your wedding costing someone?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: I do think I kind of traveling well yeah, I mean,
Speaker 3: which is hard because maybe if it's your wedding, you're arguing, well,
Speaker 3: I'm giving them a great party in Italy and if
Speaker 3: they don't want to come, they don't have to come.
Speaker 3: But I am a believer in the your presence is
Speaker 3: my present thing, Like I expect I'm going to throw
Speaker 3: people a great party because I know they traveled, and yeah,
Speaker 3: so for sure, on a second time around, I don't
Speaker 3: think you need the gifts on top of it. But
Speaker 3: I also no matter when I was getting married, I
Speaker 3: would feel bad if people were like out.
Speaker 2: Money for my wedding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, we feel the same about this, and
Speaker 1: I think that is the right call. So it is said,
Speaker 1: So it is done, no gifts for second wedding, and
Speaker 1: you could just say, just if you show up at
Speaker 1: the wedding, you can just say. L Z and H
Speaker 1: told me that is indeed the case. As we wrap
Speaker 1: up this playbook, Wow, you know, l Z, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure what we do now. You know we're empty nesters.
Speaker 1: We were back, we're back in it with the kids
Speaker 1: at school. They're both up at college. I guess we
Speaker 1: got to go figure out. We go see Barbie and
Speaker 1: Oppenheimer again. I don't know, we need some more three
Speaker 1: hour move. But again, for all those parents that are
Speaker 1: in the same boat, good luck to you and God
Speaker 1: bless on a healthy, happy, successful school year ahead. And
Speaker 1: I know it's hard to believe it's even the school
Speaker 1: year now, because it's well not even September yet. Was
Speaker 1: it just me or did we always start later in
Speaker 1: September or is that just the old man and me
Speaker 1: going you know, I walked uphill both ways to school
Speaker 1: in the snow. I don't know, but anyway, school year started.
Speaker 1: Wish everybody the best, and I wish you the best,
Speaker 1: And thank you so much for tuning in. We love
Speaker 1: a chance to sit down and talk with you, and
Speaker 1: we'll do it again because we have so much more
Speaker 1: to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram
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Speaker 1: talk to you next time.