1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,319 Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: home office in Austin, Texas. It's good to be home. 4 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: We are zeroing in on our wedding day, LZ. And 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: that is what is going to take us to open 6 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: up the playbook today, not just to talk about our wedding, 7 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: but something very interesting came up. Somebody reached out to 8 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 1: us via the most Dramatic pod Instagram, left us say 9 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: a DM and asked this very important question and really 10 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 1: made a good point. And it's about getting gifts at 11 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: your wedding when it's not your first wedding. Should this 12 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: still be a thing? I think this came to us 13 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 1: because I think it's well known you and I have 14 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: had weddings before. We're about to do number two together, 15 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: and obviously we are older, we are successful, We've had 16 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: our success, we have our house, we have our things. 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 1: How do you feel about it? 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, let's share what we're doing. 19 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 3: Which and we were both completely on the same page 20 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 3: right from the start. As soon as the words came 21 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 3: out of my mouth, I said to Chris, no, I 22 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 3: don't want to ask for any gifts at the wedding 23 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,959 Speaker 3: and you right away we're like, yes, I was thinking 24 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 3: the same thing. So we are just we listed a 25 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 3: couple of our favorite charities. 26 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 2: And we do not expect anybody to give to those. 27 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 3: But if you would be the person, because you know, 28 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 3: sometimes even if you don't have a registry, your friends 29 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 3: still yeah feel like they should give you a gift, 30 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 3: and so then they get you something. No, like I 31 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 3: don't want that if you were going to put your 32 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 3: money towards anything, if you feel like you have to 33 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 3: please do a donation instead. 34 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think a lot of Lauren's friends should get 35 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: her like a lot of kitchen stuff, a lot of 36 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: cooking like croc pot. 37 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 2: Gift certificate for golf lessons. 38 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: No, so we are no, it is our thing, is 39 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: we We immediately said we do not want gifts. We 40 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: just want people to come celebrate and be with us 41 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: and don't think about the gift thing because it is 42 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: you know, you're like, what do we get and we're 43 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: not going to register anywhere. So we thought the charity 44 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: thing would be a good idea if you want to give 45 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: to one of our favorite charities. 46 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 2: But I'll take it. 47 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 3: A step further us aside level of success aside. I 48 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 3: don't think you should ask people for a gift if 49 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 3: it's your second one either. I think you've already done 50 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 3: it once and you can't be doing it again. There 51 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 3: is a whole episode of Sex in the City about 52 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,959 Speaker 3: how Carrie she goes to her friend's house for a party. 53 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 3: The friend asked everybody to take their shoes off at 54 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 3: the door, and you remember, Carrie Bradshaw has very expensive shoes, 55 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 3: shoes that cost hundreds of dollars. Somebody another party gifts 56 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 3: and she doesn't know who takes her shoes, and so 57 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 3: she says to her friend whose house it was, Hey, 58 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 3: I kind of think you should replace my shoes. And 59 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 3: the friend thinks that's ridiculous and says, well, Carrie, I 60 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 3: wasn't my choice for you to buy these expensive shoes. 61 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 3: And Carrie then adds up how much she spent on 62 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 3: getting this friend baby shower gifts for every baby wedding gifts, 63 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 3: and Carrie's like, wait a minute, I've never been married 64 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 3: and I've never had kids. Where's my equivalent of baby 65 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 3: shites and wedding gifts? Can't you at least replace my 66 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 3: shoes that were stolen at your house. And it's such 67 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 3: a good point because we celebrate certain things, right, I 68 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 3: said to my mom once, you know, Mom, I should 69 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 3: I throw a party for myself that I got a 70 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 3: new job, and people should people get me gifts for that? 71 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 3: It's not really fair. So all that being said, I 72 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 3: certainly do not think we should be asking people to 73 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 3: give us gifts for a second wedding. 74 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,079 Speaker 1: I think there is out of necessity. And that's where 75 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: this came from. The whole tradition of it is. 76 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 2: It used to be it was like we're helping you 77 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 2: start your life. 78 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: Well, you're getting married. Especially used to get married much younger, 79 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: like that was a thing, you know, back when this 80 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: whole tradition started, and you're starting your life. And honestly, 81 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: it helps when I first got married, and probably it 82 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: did for you as well, because you get your pots 83 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: and pans and you get your dishes and that you're 84 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 1: starting your life and that's it's a fun thing and 85 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: you're registering. But as you're older, you got your pots 86 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: and pans and your bowls and your cups and all 87 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: that stuff. So yeah, I agree, first one fine, second one, no, 88 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: across the board. 89 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 2: People register for some weird stuff too. 90 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. 91 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 3: When one of my friends and grants, we were like 92 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 3: twenty three, she got married right out of college. It 93 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 3: was like she just registered for not I mean, she 94 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 3: registered for toiletries. I remember on her registry there were 95 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 3: like razors and like chlorox, and I'm like, babe, register 96 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 3: for a mixture. You know, I'm just doing your grocery shopping. 97 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: Cornnuts and I need some milk or low on eggs. 98 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, if you get on your way to the wedding, 99 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 3: stop and get some ice, that would be great. 100 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 2: It's always ice, It's always ice. 101 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 3: I don't think you should have gifts the second time around. 102 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 3: And I also think if you're going to ask people 103 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 3: to give you gifts for a wedding, I think you 104 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,679 Speaker 3: have to factor in how much is your wedding costing someone? 105 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: Right? 106 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 3: I do think I kind of traveling well yeah, I mean, 107 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 3: which is hard because maybe if it's your wedding, you're arguing, well, 108 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 3: I'm giving them a great party in Italy and if 109 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 3: they don't want to come, they don't have to come. 110 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 3: But I am a believer in the your presence is 111 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 3: my present thing, Like I expect I'm going to throw 112 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 3: people a great party because I know they traveled, and yeah, 113 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 3: so for sure, on a second time around, I don't 114 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 3: think you need the gifts on top of it. But 115 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 3: I also no matter when I was getting married, I 116 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 3: would feel bad if people were like out. 117 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 2: Money for my wedding. 118 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, we feel the same about this, and 119 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: I think that is the right call. So it is said, 120 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: So it is done, no gifts for second wedding, and 121 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: you could just say, just if you show up at 122 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: the wedding, you can just say. L Z and H 123 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,679 Speaker 1: told me that is indeed the case. As we wrap 124 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: up this playbook, Wow, you know, l Z, I'm not 125 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 1: sure what we do now. You know we're empty nesters. 126 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: We were back, we're back in it with the kids 127 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: at school. They're both up at college. I guess we 128 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: got to go figure out. We go see Barbie and 129 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: Oppenheimer again. I don't know, we need some more three 130 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: hour move. But again, for all those parents that are 131 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: in the same boat, good luck to you and God 132 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: bless on a healthy, happy, successful school year ahead. And 133 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,239 Speaker 1: I know it's hard to believe it's even the school 134 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: year now, because it's well not even September yet. Was 135 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,919 Speaker 1: it just me or did we always start later in 136 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: September or is that just the old man and me 137 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: going you know, I walked uphill both ways to school 138 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 1: in the snow. I don't know, but anyway, school year started. 139 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 1: Wish everybody the best, and I wish you the best, 140 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:32,479 Speaker 1: And thank you so much for tuning in. We love 141 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,360 Speaker 1: a chance to sit down and talk with you, and 142 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: we'll do it again because we have so much more 143 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram 144 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: at the most dramatic pod ever and make sure to 145 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll 146 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: talk to you next time.