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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that started a new support group

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Speaker 1: called Insecurities Anonymous. Once a week you get together and

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Speaker 1: you go around pointing out each other's flaws until one

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Speaker 1: of you cries, oh my God.

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Speaker 2: And then afterward everyone gets free donuts. It's verymous jes.

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Speaker 2: Then you eat donuts, can get fat. Why do I

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Speaker 2: keep coming back to these meetings?

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Speaker 1: It's Laser Stories, the second where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a laser.

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Speaker 2: Those are the cronut Canklers.

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Speaker 1: Just this first Laser Stories out of a great state

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Speaker 1: of Florida. The Summer Olympics are next year, and they've

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Speaker 1: got some competition this time because February twenty fourth, in

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Speaker 1: Saint Augustine they're going to be hosting the first ever

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Speaker 1: Florida Man Games.

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Speaker 2: No okay, I've never flown to the Olympics. I may

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Speaker 2: fly to this event.

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Speaker 1: The events they've got planned for are a lot more interesting.

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Speaker 1: The first competition is beer Belly Florida Sumo Wrestling.

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Speaker 2: I bet three of the contestants can also compete in

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Speaker 2: the bullet competition.

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Speaker 1: It's basically just suma wrestling, but without any of the

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Speaker 1: training or prestige.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The next one, and this is the official name of it,

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Speaker 1: by the way, is the Evading Arrest Obstacle Course, where

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Speaker 1: you'll be jumping over fences and running through yards while

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Speaker 1: being chased by off duty tops our performance enhancing drugs allows.

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Speaker 2: They should be encouraged exact Yeah, if they're gonna do it,

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Speaker 2: and I feel like I need to say this is real.

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Speaker 1: By the way, I'm not making any of this office

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Speaker 1: on their website. The third event has a funny name

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Speaker 1: called Catalytic Converter.

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Speaker 2: Two bikes in a handful of copper pipes.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't exactly say what it is, but I'm guessing

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Speaker 1: you have to steal all of that stuff as fast

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Speaker 1: as possible, and the fastest time wins wins get arrested,

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Speaker 1: you you get made president of Florida.

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Speaker 2: They should all get bail money at least, you know.

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Speaker 1: And then last, but not least, weaponized pool noodle mud duel.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, jousting with pool noodles while standing on

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Speaker 1: a platform and an above ground pool.

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Speaker 2: That's the weapon, the pool noodle muddol.

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Speaker 1: They also do have a mullet contest.

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Speaker 2: Florida mam beauty patcheant. I guess less teeth.

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Speaker 1: The better and chicken coop bingo where two chickens actually

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Speaker 1: pick out the bingo numbers.

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Speaker 2: I was saying they were going to poop on the numbers.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure that's how it works.

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Speaker 1: Okay, And if you like to participate, you have to

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Speaker 1: no November fifteenth to register. Their website says being athletic

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Speaker 1: is not required.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, his next Lazer stories out of Italy, the opposite country.

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Speaker 1: Some adults will have to move in with their parents

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Speaker 1: again for various reasons, but most want to get out

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Speaker 1: as soon as possible. That wasn't the case though, for

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Speaker 1: seventy five year old Maria Barrettalo's children. They live in

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Speaker 1: northern Italy and her two sons had moved back home.

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Speaker 1: That was ten years ago and now they still won't leave.

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Speaker 2: Both.

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Speaker 1: Come on, guys, the forty and forty two year olds

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Speaker 1: grown men.

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Speaker 2: Both have jobs. Maybe they're an employee. They just like

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Speaker 2: to be taken care of, fed and cleaned up after

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Speaker 2: by their mind, no wonder.

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Speaker 1: They're single and their mother, Maria, has officially had enough,

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Speaker 1: so she took them to court to a victim.

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Speaker 2: No wait, just picturing step brothers. Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: She told the judge that her sons were bambuccinis that

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Speaker 1: means big.

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Speaker 2: Babies, and they refuse to fly the nest.

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Speaker 1: Worst of all, she says, they did not contribute despite

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Speaker 1: them both having steady paychecks. Neither gave any of their

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Speaker 1: money to their mom for bills, and they didn't do

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Speaker 1: any chores around the house either.

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Speaker 2: We just messed up to carry your mothers screwed them

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Speaker 2: up twice.

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Speaker 1: Almost seventy percent of people in Italy age between eighteen

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Speaker 1: and thirty four still live at home with their parents.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: But the judge said these two pushed it too far

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Speaker 1: and they were ordered to move out by December eighteenth,

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Speaker 1: and the mother says that both of her sons have

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Speaker 1: been desperately swiping through dating apps trying to find a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Dumb enough to let them move in before the eighteenth.

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Speaker 1: We'll keep you updated on the story, Alexis. Make sure

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Speaker 1: you check your Tinder, don't.

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Speaker 2: Set your country to I mean they are Italian men.

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Speaker 1: Right checking this Next their story is out of Halloween Headquarters.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, one day before Halloween.

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Speaker 1: And if you need a costume in a pinch, here's

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Speaker 1: a few ideas from experts that they say you can

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Speaker 1: use items you already have in your closet for okay,

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Speaker 1: number four, tourists.

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Speaker 2: A tourist, that's easy. These are all easy ones. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: guess Hawaiian shirt, camera.

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Speaker 1: Bright tagy shirt, some shorts, socks with sandals, Yeah, some

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Speaker 1: zinc you know, so many ways to do that one.

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Speaker 1: Number three, jump into Brooks closet for lumberjacks.

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Speaker 2: I got it all, my friend.

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Speaker 1: Just a flannel with some jeans and a beanie. Bonus

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Speaker 1: points if your kids have a toy axe lying around,

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Speaker 1: or give your kids a real.

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Speaker 2: One like brook does. Hey, just a hatchet.

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Speaker 1: Number two mummy, toilet paper. You just use those fabric

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Speaker 1: bandages from the store to wrap around you, or you.

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Speaker 2: Can use a lot of toilet paper.

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Speaker 1: You can also tear old white T shirts into strips

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Speaker 1: and use those. And finally, the number one last minute costume,

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Speaker 1: experts say you could make from the items already in

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Speaker 1: your home.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, bank robber.

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Speaker 1: Just black leggings, a black and white striped shirt, a

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Speaker 1: little black mask, and some kind of loot bag and

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Speaker 1: just put a dollar sign on the front.

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Speaker 2: You're good to go. Oh, I thought it was just

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Speaker 2: carrying around, you know, a couple of pillowcases of money.

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Speaker 2: Everybody doesn't have that at home. I thought it was

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Speaker 2: dressed like normal. You just have pillowcases of cash lying about.

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Speaker 2: Everyone loan it out, let somebody borrow. What's this guy's

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Speaker 2: last minute costumes.

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Speaker 1: Well he'd love to feel like a winner for one,

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Speaker 1: so he's going as a rabbit.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, he can only pull it off.

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Speaker 1: Though, after using all the filly from the pillows that

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Speaker 1: he's destroyed.

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Speaker 2: Over the years. Fluffy Bunny a little rough in the bedroom.

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Speaker 2: That's the rumor with him.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, that sound means the Laser stories is over for

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Speaker 1: the day. We'll do it again, same time on Wednesday

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Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning