WEBVTT - Rest and Trading Off (A Manifesto!) EP 364 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:09.840 Hi. 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:13.920 I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:14.520 and speaker. 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:19.240 And I'm Sarah Hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer, 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:22.360 and course creator. We are two working parents who love 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:24.080 our careers and our families. 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:27.400 Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:30.440 how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:34.280 from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:39.880 We want you to get the most out of life. 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:43.640 Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:46.960 This episode is airing in mid to late July of 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:49.600 twenty twenty four. We are going to be talking about 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:53.560 rest and also what we're calling a trade Off manifesto, 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:57.120 a way that people can get enough rest despite having 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:00.319 a busy life. So we're going to be rethinking what 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:04.759 rest means and also talking strategies for getting rest. 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:07.679 Sarah, why did you want to do this topic? 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:10.320 So sometimes we have different ones of us suggest different topics, 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:13.399 and this was definitely a Sarah suggestion. So maybe you 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:15.320 can talk a little bit about why you wanted to 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:16.039 do the topic. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.280 Yeah, I think I came up with rest actually, and 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:20.400 you came up with trade off, which makes sense. You're like, 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:24.480 I have a practical solution to your rest dilemma. I 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:26.440 just feel like I see this a lot. I mean, 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:28.040 we had that period of time when a lot of 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:30.720 books were about doing nothing and resting, etc. And they 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.160 were interesting, So I feel like it continues to be 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:35.080 a little bit of a hot topic. I think I've 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:37.959 gotten some questions about this, both in my Best Laid 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:40.480 Plans universe and also to our Best of Both Worlds. 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:44.240 Listeners have asked about this, and I think a lot 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:47.320 of people kind of talk about being frustrated with the 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:50.480 ways they use their downtime, or like maybe saying something 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:53.440 like I don't have any downtime, but then if you 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:56.400 question them, they may actually spend a lot of their 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:58.320 time doing things they don't want to be doing and 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:00.880 feel a certain way about it. So I thought this 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:02.600 would be a fun way for us to just kind 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:06.280 of explore this topic and talk about it a little more, 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:08.680 including the ways that we rest, ways to enjoy rest. 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:11.480 And then you came up with the idea that one 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:14.680 way that we can get some rest as parents is 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:18.360 to make sure our partners are helping us achieve our 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:19.640 rest goals. I guess I. 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:22.920 Don't know our rest goals. Yes, we have goals about 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:27.040 everything around here. I have to admit I'm a little 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.720 bit skeptical of all the rest stuff. I mean, there's 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:34.000 certainly books talking about how we're all so overworked and 0:02:34.120 --> 0:02:37.040 busy and we have to grab at rest from some 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:40.040 evil culture that doesn't want us to rest. 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:42.160 The culture doesn't care if you rest or not. 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:49.280 Honestly, and I think practically, the data is that the 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:55.040 average person has a reasonable amount of downtime in their lives. 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:59.480 The American Time You Survey comes out every June. Came 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:02.240 out in twenty twenty four. Looking at all the days 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:05.760 of twenty twenty three, thousands of Americans talking through their 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:10.480 previous day four am to four am on an average day, 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:14.239 I am quoting nearly everyone aged fifteen and over engaged 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:20.280 in some sort of leisure. The vast majority had many hours. 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.760 Most of this is spent on screens. If you look 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.560 at the time devoted to different things, a lot of 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.799 people still watching TV. Interestingly enough, I don't know exactly 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:34.240 how the American Time Youth Survey is counting all sorts 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.720 of video watching, Like is video watching on a phone 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.800 now being counted as sort of watching TV. It's hard 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:44.120 to know, but point being that the average American is 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:48.480 watching two point seven hours of television per day even 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:51.440 in this day and age, different proportions of people using 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:56.839 screens for leisure, games, socializing, and communicating whatever. It's all 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:02.520 a long list. People who have kids young kids at 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:06.080 home under age six have fewer hours per day of 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:10.240 leisure than other people. It comes out to about three 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:13.480 point three hours per day versus at least an hour 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:15.800 more than that for people who do not have kids 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:19.120 at home. And also that people between the ages of 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.480 like thirty five and forty four, I think have the 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:25.960 least about And so what was coming out of this 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:31.919 data for me is not that people who are like 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:34.960 in the demographic who watch listen to this podcast, so 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:38.920 you know, working parents with generally younger kids don't have 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:42.760 zero downtime, is that they tend to have less than 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:47.760 other people. And that may be parents versus non parents. 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:51.160 To some degree, men versus women. Men have a little 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:54.280 bit more than women do, and I think this may 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:56.839 explain why it's a sore point. So again, not that 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:00.320 working mothers get zero downtime, is that they get less 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:04.240 than other people in their lives, and so the comparison 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.400 is the part that can really start to irk. 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:11.480 I could see that question when they get this data, 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.760 are they asking people to recall a twenty four hour 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:18.000 window or are they like buzzing people on their phones 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:20.000 at three pm and saying, what are you doing now? 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:24.839 Well, it's yesterday, right, So it's talking through yesterday, which 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:29.000 is the American Timey Survey day. If I remember correctly, 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:30.880 it starts at four am, goes to four am, so 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:32.960 they're like, what were you doing at four am yesterday? 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:34.279 What did you do next? 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:38.719 And people can generally recall the previous twenty four hours 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:44.120 quite well. Past that, it starts to disappear rapidly, so 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:48.520 you remember, you know, lunch yesterday, You don't remember lunch 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:51.039 two days ago. I don't know why that is. There's 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:54.240 something with the human brain of how this goes. But 0:05:55.520 --> 0:05:59.320 there have been comparisons of doing this reconstructive method of 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:03.719 talking it through versus like checking in buzzing, And it's 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:06.600 pretty accurate. It's not one hundred percent accurate, but it's 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:11.120 very close. And so you know, I mean, we have 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:13.280 often these stories we tell about our lives of like oh, 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:14.599 I have no free time whatsoever. 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:16.440 But that's based on the. 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:20.080 Day where you were working late and you had three 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:25.039 kid activities and some plumbing went awry and so you 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.240 spent all potential leisure time dealing with the plumber. 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:30.080 It's like, okay, well that was one day. 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:33.640 On another day you were on a disney cruise with 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:36.040 childcare all day and massage. 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:37.200 For now, it just. 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:39.920 Depends which day do we find you that we decide 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:42.440 which is typical. And of course, you know, one of 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:44.320 the things we like to talk about in this podcast 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:45.800 is that we want to look at all of life, 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:52.320 not one particular moment, but the comparison thing is what 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:54.840 I think gets a lot of people, and so we'll 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:59.720 definitely talk about that. But first, you don't want to 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:05.320 talk little bit about rethinking rest. Rest doesn't always need 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:08.360 to look like a day at the spa, nor does 0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:10.680 it actually need to look at like sitting on the couch, 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:15.480 because in many cases, sitting on the couch scrolling around 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:17.480 online doesn't. 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:18.920 Actually feel all that RESTful. 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.600 It can in certain moments, I guess, But the purpose 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:27.360 of rest, I would say, is to rejuvenate you and 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:30.040 add to your energy levels. I mean, I don't know, 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:32.360 is that what you were thinking about with rest? 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.200 That's such an interesting question, because you're right, Like, and 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.160 I made a joke about rest goals, and I don't 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:40.679 love the idea of like rest framed as like something 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.160 you have to do to be more productive later. Like 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:46.560 I think there should be enjoyment of rest for rest's sake, 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.160 and for me, a lot of the activities that I 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:53.320 find RESTful are also inherently enjoyable in and of themselves. 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:56.520 So but you're right, I guess you could have sort 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:59.119 of some of each. That's an interesting question. 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:00.920 Yeah, well, I. 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:04.480 Mean that rest could be lying down closing your eyes, 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:09.200 but rest could also be going for a solo walk 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:12.160 outside to clear your head. I mean, rest could be 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:17.920 doing a hobby that you find relaxing. So there's different 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:20.600 ways to think about it. So I would encourage people 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:22.800 not to just think of it as I need more 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.920 time on the couch, because for some of this that 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:29.120 doesn't actually sound that appealing to me. I don't know, 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.439 maybe it does to other people. Sometimes it really does. 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:34.839 As we'll talk about our own favorite forms of rest, 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:38.439 mine often does involve a couch, So that's I guess 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:42.839 okay too. If that brings you joy and rejuvenation, And 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:45.760 I don't know the right kind of what you need 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:49.360 to recover from the rest of life. My running coach 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.800 likes to say that there are no recovery runs. It's 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:56.040 only like preparation runs or something. But I don't know. 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:58.480 I kind of think there should be recovery time built 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:03.040 into our lives, particularly if we do maybe push hard 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:05.520 in other realms with our kids, with work, et cetera. 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:08.240 Exactly, All right, Well, we're going to take a quick 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:10.200 ad break and then we'll be back to talk about 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:12.280 what rest looks like and how we can get more 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:27.600 of it. Well, we are back talking all things rest 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:30.840 and then how we might be able to engineer more 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:36.040 RESTful times into a busy life with work and young kids. So, Sarah, 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:38.640 what are your favorite forms of rest if you are 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:41.480 going to make a list of things you find RESTful. 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:46.080 So, my most favorite RESTful activities are to have a 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:49.160 book that is fun to read, and to lie down 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:51.440 on the couch and read it and then maybe even 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:54.240 let it turn into a nap or perhaps lie down 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:56.000 with the purposes of taking a nap, but like kind 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.920 of to read first as like a little prelude and 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:02.240 I would say my kind of alternate form of rest 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:05.920 if I'm even kind of too tired to read or 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:08.439 just not in the mood to read, would be letting 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:11.640 myself lie around and either text with friends or a 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:15.120 family member, or maybe even watch like one of my 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:18.280 favorite YouTube creators that do planning stuff. And I'm not 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:21.120 a heavy YouTube user, so it's not like I'm like 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.760 clicking around constantly or keeping up with certain things, but 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.800 there are like very few channels I enjoy checking in on, 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:30.360 and if I'm just completely like unable to do much else, 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:34.160 then that is often what I will go to. We've 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:38.120 talked at length about various social media et cetera. I 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:40.319 quit read It one month ago. I have not been 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:44.240 on since June fifteenth, so that's kind of exciting, and 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:48.679 I feel like I did after. I mean, there were 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.600 times when I use social media for rest, but I 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:54.720 found it very unrestful and actually probably a little bit stressful, 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:58.000 and had kind of found Reddit creeping in as like 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:03.640 my social media substitute, so intentionally talk about manifestos. Quitting 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:07.080 that has been very very positive for me, and so 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.280 that is no longer a former rest that I turned to. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.920 But I will say that I in the past did 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:12.680 some of that as well. 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:14.240 So I have a question. 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:17.080 When you read with the idea that it's going to 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:19.280 turn into a nap, do like actually put down your 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:23.160 book to then consciously go to sleep or does it kind. 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:26.440 Of like fall on you? Like how does this work? 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:28.880 Oh? No, I consciously put it down. So I do 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.439 a lot of my fiction reading lying down, So I'm 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.240 like laying on the couch on pillows, maybe with a blanket, 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:36.120 and then like when I'm like, oh, I'm I just 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.800 read this page three times. Perfect, put the book down, 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:41.080 go to sleep, go to sever nap. Okay. 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:43.640 I was just wondering, you know, if this is one 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:45.400 of these things. I know some people fall asleep reading, 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:48.520 and I've always wondered exactly what that looks like, because 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:50.439 it feels like then there's a heavy book that winds 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.360 up on you some way, shape or form. 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:54.439 I know what that looks like because my husband does 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:57.200 it sometimes. Yeah, so does one of my kids. But no, 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:58.840 I usually like actually put it down. 0:11:59.520 --> 0:11:59.840 Yeah. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:02.480 Well, the humor with that, I remember somebody telling me 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.520 about this. I was talking about somebody how they made 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:07.360 more time to read, and she mentioned you often is 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.600 falling asleep reading and then she wakes up because her 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:12.319 husban's like taking her glasses off. 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:14.240 She's in her bed. 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.400 I was like, you can fall asleep with your glasses 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:18.760 on while holding a book. 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:24.320 That's impressive. I don't believe I can do that. My 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:27.480 rest is there's a couple of things I like to do. 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.040 I like to sit in our hammock when the weather 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:36.400 is nice and read, or maybe it's reading stories and books, 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.800 but it could also be on my phone. I don't 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:42.360 mind using my phone for a little bit of downtime. 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.960 Going on a solo swim. 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:46.800 Again, this is summer. 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.319 Being in the pool on my own, just sort of 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:52.160 floating around is very RESTful to me. Doesn't happen very 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:55.120 often because I tend to be lifeguarding other people. But 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.080 I will take the moments when I'm there on my 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:02.480 own doing puzzles, like doing a puzzle. Although I've had 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.240 to choose the right kinds of puzzles because now that 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.360 I've done enough of them, I have definite preferences, and 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.680 sometimes I really want ones that are not mentally that taxing. 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:12.960 It's like a little taxing, but I kind of like 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:16.960 the ones where you're not totally stumped of where things go. 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:21.079 I find one hundred and fifty pieces of blue Sky 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.400 to be just tedious and not my favorite form of 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.120 puzzle doing. So I've been making sure to find puzzles 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:31.280 that are a little bit more filled in than that, 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:35.600 so I don't have to text my brain too much. 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:38.800 I like you, I find I spend a lot of 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.760 time texting. I don't know I was adding up my 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.240 texting time looking at my screen time function as many 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.680 hours a week, which I have not really included in 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:50.880 my mental model of what life looks like because it's 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.520 so quick, usually back and forth, like you know, three 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:56.640 minutes here and there are not even that. But obviously 0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:58.120 it adds up if you look at the amount of 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.200 time you spend on messages on your phone. 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.480 And I find texting like one of my favorite uses 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.520 of the phone. I love my various groups that I have, 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:11.520 my college friends, texting you, texting my sister, texting my parents. Like, 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:13.480 there's a lot of texting in my day to day, 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:17.320 and I'm not sad about that particular motive device use. 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.880 Yeah, and then I also just like to sit with 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:22.640 my cup of coffee for a little bit. 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:24.320 One thing I've been doing. 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:26.320 If I'm up early enough, is sometimes I will make 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:29.160 my coffee and go sit outside. Again, morning tends to 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.920 be nice in Pennsylvania in summer, although it's been a 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:36.160 bit muggy lately. But if I just challenge myself to 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.240 kind of sit and not look at my phone, or 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.520 sit and look at the sky and all that, even 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:46.040 five minutes can feel pretty long with no distractions, and 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:51.880 so being aware of what time is available, and if 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.200 you're not trying to distract yourself with other things, you 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:57.160 can get into that kind of WHOA. 0:14:57.200 --> 0:15:01.040 I've had some downtime state fairly quickly with that. 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:03.880 But we encourage people to make a list, like make 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:06.360 a list of the things that you find RESTful, so 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:10.480 you at least have these top of mind. You also 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.520 want to think about how you are building in rest 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:15.600 into your life. And sometimes this is again if we're 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:17.800 thinking one hundred and sixty eight hours, not twenty four, 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:21.240 thinking through busy periods and less busy periods. Sarah, you've 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:24.080 actually made a conscious choice of how to structure your 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:29.000 schedule to deal with post call needing a little bit 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:30.920 more downtime. Maybe you can talk about that. 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:34.720 Yes, I find myself absolutely use. So my call is 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.880 from Monday morning to the next Monday morning, and currently 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:39.720 I also have Monday as a clinic day, so that 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.800 means basically, I mean until Monday at five pm. I'm like, 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:48.040 it's just all clinical stuff and a lot of responsibility 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:50.120 and a lot of stress no matter how long I 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:53.440 do it, and that's okay. Again not resenting the stress, 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.120 but I have to acknowledge it at the same time. 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.000 And the next day is a Tuesday, which is usually 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.960 a like podcasting day, et cetera. And I have found that, 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:06.760 like I don't want to do anything on that day 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:12.720 and I very much just crave some quiet, some silence, 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:15.040 some just downtime because I didn't get any on that 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:17.480 past weekend. Even if it wasn't a busy weekend, I'm 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:19.760 still thinking about the patients. I'm still sort of like 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:21.920 in it. So I just need like a I need 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:25.560 a recharge period. So my very low tech and ridiculous 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:27.520 solution is that my next call week, I was like, 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:30.360 let me just write on my planner, don't schedule anything, 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.080 because I will if I don't, like specifically have some 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:36.600 kind of block, I will put stuff and you know, 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:38.960 sometimes you end up putting stuff anyway. But at least 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:43.120 I can be mindful of the intensity of those activities, 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.440 like I'm not going to schedule a talk and invited 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:47.640 talk on that day or something like that, or a 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.160 mega recording session with Laura, as fun as those are, 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.280 Like I need some time not to be on stage, 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.520 and that post call day is really really important. 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:58.800 Yeah, I've learned over the years that after I give 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.640 a speech, I tend not to be able to do 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:06.720 much focused work. And so especially if I'm like getting 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:10.240 on an airplane after a speech. In my mind, I'm like, well, 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.560 that's great work time, and then I've sort of realized, no, 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:14.639 it's not great work time. I tend to be like 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:17.399 I've been on and performing and then I need to 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.520 kind of not do that for a while. And I've 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:23.440 done back to back speeches, like I have done two 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.919 in a day, but it is very taxing when you 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:27.960 need to do that, and so I need to be 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:31.320 mindful of like, Okay, probably I'll just read a magazine 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:35.160 on the flight on the way home and give myself 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.240 permission to do that and build that into my model 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:40.600 of how the work is getting done in the course 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:44.080 of the week. Fine to do work on the flight 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:47.880 there flight home maybe not happening so much unless it's 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:51.680 the next day that I'm flying out. Totally makes sense. 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.359 What about during drink Oh, go ahead, Yeah, I was 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:57.199 gonna say during individual days, right, there are times that 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:01.000 you find you need some rest. I mean again fun 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:03.200 as these recording sessions are, I find if I've been 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:06.240 talking into a microphone for several hours, I probably need 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:10.040 to like not do anything for at least thirty minutes 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.359 after I finally turned the microphone off. 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:16.160 I would say, for me, it's like during my clinical days, 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:18.520 I've been talking, talking, talking, and also kind of moving 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:21.840 as fast as possible, like writing my notes, like kind 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:24.880 of an overdrive, and so I really crave that. It's 0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:27.439 not always a full hour, but from like twelve fifteen 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:30.720 to one, I'm usually able to just do things that 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:33.320 are much lower speed and for me or it's like 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:36.440 lunch with friends or whatever. My manager was like, oh, 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:38.600 do you want to start your afternoon earlier so you 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:40.439 can finish earlier, because I guess some of my colleagues 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:44.480 wanted that, and I was like, absolutely not. I know 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:46.840 that I won't be able to go into the afternoon 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.280 with the right energy and mindset if I don't have 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:53.399 at least like a little bit of unwinding between the 0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:54.480 two sessions. 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.760 Yeah, and I've found it's helpful when I'm trying to 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.160 get into a RESTful mindset. A phrase that I I've 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:05.880 been using a lot is cultivate a Saturday vibe. And now, 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:08.479 again both of us have lived through Saturdays with like 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:09.520 two year olds. 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:15.000 That is not what we mean. We mean more the. 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:20.359 Ideal Saturday where you maybe ease into the day and 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:22.200 you have a few things you need to get done, 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.399 but you're sort of moving a little bit slower and 0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.960 doing fun things and interspersed with it. If you have 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:31.160 that kind of mindset of being in a Saturday mode, 0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:34.760 that can kind of help you think about restfulness and 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:35.919 what you're trying to achieve. 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:39.080 So is your summer Saturday mode in general or no. 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:42.639 I'm trying to Yeah, I say, well, if June is 0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:45.560 the Friday night of summer, I guess July is a Saturday. 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:48.800 So I've been telling myself to have a Saturday vibe 0:19:48.800 --> 0:19:51.159 for July. Sometimes that's happening more than others. 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:53.360 But you know, super fun. 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:53.800 I like it. 0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:57.640 It's all good. It's all good. So why is rest 0:19:57.680 --> 0:19:58.320 a hot topic? 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:00.280 I mean, I think I read somewhere that like does 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:03.320 a feminist issue, which I don't know if that's the case, 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:08.560 but because I think many people don't feel that rest 0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:11.800 is entirely equal in their lives, whether it's with other 0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:15.000 people they know, sometimes with their own partners, or even 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:20.600 like their older children, I think that this is the 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:23.560 thing that needs to be addressed. I know I've found 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:27.040 myself feeling slightly resentful. If you know, we've just had 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:30.399 dinner and my kids all like walk off and the 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:32.920 kitchen still has to be cleaned up, and I'm like, 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.359 wait a minute, why do you go get to watch 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:39.480 your phone while I'm loading the dishwasher. This doesn't seem right. 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:42.399 Why do you feel even entitled to walk off and 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:45.920 go on your phone? If because obviously I will stop 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:47.760 people and ask them to help. But then it gets 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:49.960 a little bit like, wait a minute, why. 0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:52.440 Did I even have to ask? Why is this considered 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:53.840 part of your purview as well? 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:56.920 Yes, yeah that why are you going to rest so quickly? 0:20:57.000 --> 0:21:01.200 And I do not automatically get this. So this brings 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:04.560