WEBVTT - Losing Your Gleam

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>All Right, Ladies headlines, Oh oh Greamer, Oh god, how now?

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<v Speaker 2>I was really really sad about that. This said life.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I know.

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<v Speaker 2>I woke up and I literally audibly went no, so young, no,

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<v Speaker 2>And Alan's like what and I'm like no, like literally

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<v Speaker 2>just kept saying, He's like, babe, what's wrong? I said,

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<v Speaker 2>this breaks my heart. It was very much in the

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<v Speaker 2>timing of you know, we were talking about postpartum and

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<v Speaker 2>depression and all the things, and with Hayden Panetiera's death,

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<v Speaker 2>it just it broke my heart. It literally just broke

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<v Speaker 2>my heart. And I think what also just made me

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<v Speaker 2>really sad about it was again all the i'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>say ninety percent, I'm gonna be fair on that, like

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<v Speaker 2>or kind women going how could she leave her this?

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<v Speaker 2>How would you? All the comments and then still not

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<v Speaker 2>like understanding how someone has dealt with a lot of addiction,

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<v Speaker 2>postpartum and struggle, and then you know, bringing back up

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<v Speaker 2>the whole Nutrigena. The fact that I watched the interview too.

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<v Speaker 2>She was so beautiful and just open and honest on

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<v Speaker 2>that Kelly and Michael show. I watched the clip and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, what a beautiful moment. And then for that

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful moment of vulnerability and honesty and just like sharing

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<v Speaker 2>something that even then women were not speaking about. For

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<v Speaker 2>them to lose a contract, for her not to hear

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<v Speaker 2>one word from the Nutrigena team, like, shame on them.

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<v Speaker 2>And I wish they would put out a statement and

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<v Speaker 2>they say correct, not that I know of. I have

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<v Speaker 2>no idea, so maybe they didn't, But like, I just

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<v Speaker 2>think that's so awful. Like I understand losing sponsorships with

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<v Speaker 2>certain things, like if someone got caught doing something that

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<v Speaker 2>was maybe illegal. I can understand losing partners. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think people should lose their jobs based on extra Maria things.

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<v Speaker 2>I just don't ye unless it's affecting. But if it's

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<v Speaker 2>affecting a brand, I can look at it and go, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>is that the best person for the brand? So maybe

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<v Speaker 2>I can understand it. I still I'm like, kind of

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<v Speaker 2>do you.

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<v Speaker 3>Have an opinion on the cold Play situation?

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<v Speaker 2>If someone is representing a brand, I think again, it's

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<v Speaker 2>just hard, so that's where the piece. But when you're

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<v Speaker 2>talking about postpartum like, oh, depression, how is that negatively

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<v Speaker 2>affecting like that she didn't say it like in a

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<v Speaker 2>like she's.

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<v Speaker 3>Felt like a gift to the brand, like.

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<v Speaker 2>To celebrate women. Like why didn't you use the opportunity

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<v Speaker 2>to be like, you know what, let's speak into this.

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<v Speaker 2>Why did they take it as a negative? Like imagine

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<v Speaker 2>the spiral of being like I was open and honest

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<v Speaker 2>about something and I just lost ten or however many

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<v Speaker 2>years of a decade long partnership because I was honest

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<v Speaker 2>about that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't under and I don't understand because were

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<v Speaker 1>they getting a lot of backlash? Like that's my question

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<v Speaker 1>in this whole thing. I'm like, how is it truly

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<v Speaker 1>affecting you in a negative way? Now? Do businesses have

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<v Speaker 1>the right to make these choices the morals clause? Sure,

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<v Speaker 1>there are clauses and they have rights to do these things,

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<v Speaker 1>but they also you have rights to do a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of things, and there's consequences for them. But I don't

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<v Speaker 1>understand how this one was falling badly on them. I

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<v Speaker 1>mean maybe because they weren't talking about it ten years

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<v Speaker 1>ago people were saying, I can't believe you would work

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<v Speaker 1>with someone Like what were they saying that was so

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<v Speaker 1>affecting them? So badly. That's what I think.

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<v Speaker 3>The gentigraphic like exactly that news Regina hits.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't even understand unless they just quickly jumped

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<v Speaker 1>at it, you know before, I don't know. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>add up to me. I think it was all and

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think that was.

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<v Speaker 2>Fair at all. No, I don't think it was fair

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<v Speaker 2>at all. And I think it's really sad and everything

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<v Speaker 2>that she was dealing with and struggling with it just

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<v Speaker 2>broke my heart. I think what also, the piece that

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<v Speaker 2>really breaks my heart is that apparently she was with

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<v Speaker 2>her abuser again. And that's the part where I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>it's so hard, Like again, I have had these conversations

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<v Speaker 2>on here before where like he was one of my abusers,

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<v Speaker 2>was physically abusive, and then I would go back to

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<v Speaker 2>that abuser, like literally after I called the cops one

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<v Speaker 2>of the times and said he just tried to kill me,

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<v Speaker 2>I went back that night to him. Yeah, And it's

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<v Speaker 2>like that, like that cycle is such an impossible cycle

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<v Speaker 2>to break, and I wish people like would give some

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<v Speaker 2>grace and empathy for that, but there's no there's no

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<v Speaker 2>help for that either, Like there's truly not there's so

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<v Speaker 2>much isolation, you know, and there's so much like people

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<v Speaker 2>don't understand it, and so they're so quick to say things,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's like it's very hard to get out an

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<v Speaker 2>abusive relationship. It's and it just broke my heart that

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<v Speaker 2>like she went back too, But again people don't There's

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<v Speaker 2>there's no help in that area.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think a lot of times in situations like this,

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<v Speaker 1>with addiction and with domestic abuse, I think people am

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<v Speaker 1>around you and the post part of all of it,

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<v Speaker 1>I think people around you try to help, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>as much as they know how that they can, and

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<v Speaker 1>then they lose hope and they essentially a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>the time end up. And you know, I've been in

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<v Speaker 1>this situation losing a relationship with someone because you don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how to help, because we as everyday people can't

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<v Speaker 1>help our loved ones get out of these situations, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's like, so I saw where her mom, who

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<v Speaker 1>was estranged, you know, said we tried to get her

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<v Speaker 1>away from him. I'm sure they did, you know, but

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<v Speaker 1>like until she wants to get away from him, there's

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<v Speaker 1>not much that people around her could do. So that

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<v Speaker 1>does beg the question for how do we help these

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<v Speaker 1>people in these situations. I don't know the answer to that,

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<v Speaker 1>but and.

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<v Speaker 3>Kind of like a trademark characteristic of these relationships is isolation.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I witnessed that majority of my life, Like I

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<v Speaker 3>watched it be abusive and volatile, and it just and

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<v Speaker 3>it was there was never breaks and there was never

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<v Speaker 3>going to be a divorce, you know. And so I think,

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<v Speaker 3>but I did watch the social circle get smaller and

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<v Speaker 3>smaller and smaller, and like that it does from an

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<v Speaker 3>outsider trying to help. Inside you're you're so boundaried out,

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<v Speaker 3>like there's no way for you to get in sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>to speak, I mean, I think the biggest thing and

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<v Speaker 3>I think we learned this as friends during like the

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<v Speaker 3>relationship in the the divorce with your ex was the

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<v Speaker 3>best thing we could do was just to pour the

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<v Speaker 3>trust back into yourself, you know. But like I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>like as friends for us to say, well, what do

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<v Speaker 3>you stop telling you what to do? Because you were

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<v Speaker 3>always being told what to do? And it's just I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>it's just I've watched it. I watched people try and fail,

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<v Speaker 3>So I don't I hate it, and it makes me

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<v Speaker 3>really said, she's also a mom, So there's just a

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<v Speaker 3>sweet baby that doesn't have their mom anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, it's heartbreaking. What do you guys have any

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<v Speaker 2>other thoughts on any of the any.

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<v Speaker 3>Do we know any information? I honestly an overdose, correct

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<v Speaker 3>the speculation, I didn't know anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't know that they have said for sure,

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<v Speaker 1>But at last I saw the speculation was that it was

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<v Speaker 1>an overdose and narcan was found in the home and stuff. So,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, from what I have seen and read of

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<v Speaker 1>their relationship in the past, it's been around drugs a

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<v Speaker 1>lot in the past, so I'm not sure. Oh, so sad, aiden,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, And it's just it really also is just

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<v Speaker 1>so sad to see so many of these people who

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<v Speaker 1>grew up in the industry and what ends up happening

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<v Speaker 1>to them, and not all of them, but a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of them, you know, And it's so sad and it's

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<v Speaker 1>so scary. It's just a hard world to grow up

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<v Speaker 1>in as a kid.

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<v Speaker 3>And they're so human.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they're just human. Yeah, Yeah, it's it's so sad.

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<v Speaker 3>I hate that. And I watch, you know, Charles Eston

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<v Speaker 3>is a friend of ours, and I watch his really sad,

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<v Speaker 3>heartfelt tribute to her, and just the I mean it's

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<v Speaker 3>a friend. This is like loved ones. She's a friend,

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<v Speaker 3>she's a daughter. I mean that is just what a loss?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, frustrated David Crumholtz puts acting on holden definitely. David Crumholtz,

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<v Speaker 2>known for his recent role in Oppenheimer, en roles in

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<v Speaker 2>the Santa Claus franchise and Harold and Kumer films, and

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<v Speaker 2>now sent a since deleted thread he's taking a break

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<v Speaker 2>from acting. He wrote, I kind of sort of put

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<v Speaker 2>my acting career on hold the other day. It's been

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<v Speaker 2>something I've been petrified to do for a year. Specifically,

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<v Speaker 2>the fear was that I'd go broke and not be

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<v Speaker 2>able to handle being out of the game. But I

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<v Speaker 2>sent the definitive email, he added, and got to say,

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<v Speaker 2>a huge wave of relief washed over. Mate. Not sure

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm going to do for money instead, or how

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to do it, but I just removed a

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<v Speaker 2>humongous burden, one that I truly didn't fathom the weight

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<v Speaker 2>of until it was gone. He received a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>positive support for his choice and added that there was

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<v Speaker 2>a time when being competitive and self involved really served

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<v Speaker 2>my pursuit. That time has passed much to my overwhelming surprise,

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<v Speaker 2>there will always be great joy and the exercise, But

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<v Speaker 2>for me, the profession has lost its gleam.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you ever feel like that which piece, well, any

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<v Speaker 3>of it, but more that the professions lost its gleam

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<v Speaker 3>because you've been in this a long time. You were young,

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<v Speaker 3>still young, I might add, but but like you know,

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<v Speaker 3>almost twenty five years in, that's it changes, right, Like

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<v Speaker 3>I even watch it with Preston and music, because it

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<v Speaker 3>used to be for the fulfillment and the fandom and

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<v Speaker 3>the la la and now at one point, yeah, and

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<v Speaker 3>now it's like to pay for our family and to

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<v Speaker 3>provide means, you know, to support a whole household. But

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<v Speaker 3>it's gotten less shiny, and not that he doesn't still

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<v Speaker 3>love it, but yeah, he doesn't love being away like

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<v Speaker 3>he did.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think for me, it's one of those things

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<v Speaker 2>where it's I love I love, I love acting, I

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<v Speaker 2>really do like. I love being on set, I love

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<v Speaker 2>being around people, I love creating things. I think it's

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<v Speaker 2>it's such a like a therapy for me too, you

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<v Speaker 2>know that it's I just really enjoy playing and like

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<v Speaker 2>stepping into different characters. I feel like I'm like chasing

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<v Speaker 2>something and it's like a you know, obviously like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>still wanting that series regular role again, but it's like

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<v Speaker 2>even when, because I know there'll be a when unless

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<v Speaker 2>I quit, which I don't. I don't see why. No,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean like there I don't want to do Actually

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think you know how.

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<v Speaker 3>To quit anything kind of specifically acting like I think

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<v Speaker 3>it's so DNA.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I'm like, one day when that happens, like

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<v Speaker 2>I've realized that it's not going to be like the

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<v Speaker 2>fulfillment that I think it's going to give me. That

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<v Speaker 2>makes sense, Yeah, that makes sense. And that is the

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<v Speaker 2>piece where I'm just like I'm okay with it, not

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<v Speaker 2>because I always thought like, oh, I'll just be so

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<v Speaker 2>happy when that happens. Like and someone said something in

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<v Speaker 2>a comment one time that really hit with me. They're like,

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<v Speaker 2>you kind of have it. You've got a beautiful family,

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<v Speaker 2>and so you really just start to take things into consider.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, I I love my role right now as

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<v Speaker 2>a mom, and how I'm able to do what I

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<v Speaker 2>love and still be able to like be here and

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<v Speaker 2>like just take you know, a movie that does every

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<v Speaker 2>three weeks and have do sponsors, like all those these

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<v Speaker 2>wind down, Like all these things are really fun. They'll

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<v Speaker 2>be a time and place, but when I book that

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<v Speaker 2>series regular role, it's not going to be like, oh, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>everything's perfect now, because they'll still be challenges. There will

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<v Speaker 2>still be things that are you know, we're gonna have

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<v Speaker 2>to face and like, you know, I'm walking through something

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<v Speaker 2>right now where we're talking about a show that like

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<v Speaker 2>is like filming in Canada and I'm like, okay, well,

0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.560
<v Speaker 2>how that's a whole other arena that like how would

0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:39.360
<v Speaker 2>I do that for six months out of the year

0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:42.720
<v Speaker 2>or you know, and it's like it's not going But

0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:45.480
<v Speaker 2>I also know it's something that I love to do

0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:48.679
<v Speaker 2>and I'll never walk away from it. I may again

0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.400
<v Speaker 2>never I might not ever get a series regular role again,

0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:53.720
<v Speaker 2>And that's okay because I'm still going to be doing

0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.360
<v Speaker 2>it in some form or fashion, sure, and that is

0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:59.679
<v Speaker 2>what I that's what I want, you know what I mean.

0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:02.720
<v Speaker 2>But like the chase of it, like I don't like

0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:04.199
<v Speaker 2>I have an audition today that I'm gonna put on

0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.960
<v Speaker 2>tape later and it's it is what it is, Like

0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 2>I can tell by your body, you know what I mean,

0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:13.520
<v Speaker 2>Like it's it. But because I'm like the chances are

0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:17.000
<v Speaker 2>two percent. I know that now, like, and it's not

0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 2>gonna It doesn't mean that I'm not good enough. You know,

0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.200
<v Speaker 2>it's just not the one yet. And it's okay. Something

0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:25.599
<v Speaker 2>will happen. I will get an offer or something, you

0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:27.840
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. It may not be as many

0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.839
<v Speaker 2>as I used to as I get older what about it, or.

0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:32.880
<v Speaker 1>It might be, but that's not the thing that's going

0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:34.920
<v Speaker 1>to be Oh my god, I'm so happy.

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:37.920
<v Speaker 2>There's not going to be the burden weight right exactly.

0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:39.480
<v Speaker 1>And you're still going to be looking for the next

0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.280
<v Speaker 1>thing always. I mean, it's not like you're gonna get

0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.000
<v Speaker 1>that series regular and be like, well, now I gotta

0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:46.840
<v Speaker 1>get whatever. I don't know, yecause you're always looking for

0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:49.240
<v Speaker 1>that next thing. In a good way, though, I do that.

0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:51.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean that in a positive way. So it's not like, oh,

0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:53.920
<v Speaker 1>you've hit it and now we can just sit here

0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:54.880
<v Speaker 1>and coasts.

0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:55.480
<v Speaker 3>For the rest of life.

0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:57.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, Like it's still you're going to be working hard.

0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.800
<v Speaker 2>But I can understand like that feeling of burden. I mean,

0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:05.199
<v Speaker 2>because honestly, in February I did call my agent saying

0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.000
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm done, and like the second I said

0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:10.480
<v Speaker 2>it to her. I regretted saying it because that's not

0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.320
<v Speaker 2>my truth. I'm just at a point where I'm yeah,

0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:15.960
<v Speaker 2>of course I'm frustrated, and I didn't like the experience

0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:19.920
<v Speaker 2>that I had, you know, and it's okay to be

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:23.040
<v Speaker 2>frustrated and feel those things. And then but I mean

0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:24.920
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely was like I think I'm done. I think

0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna quit. And then like seconds that came out

0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:29.640
<v Speaker 2>of my mouth, I was like, that wasn't the truth.

0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm just tired and I'm frustrated. And you can still

0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:34.640
<v Speaker 2>feel that and pick yourself back up again, absolutely and

0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.120
<v Speaker 2>start fresh again. But if he felt that enormous off

0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.120
<v Speaker 2>of them, then like that's how you know. That's how

0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:43.160
<v Speaker 2>you know. Like there's things that you know, I might

0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:44.760
<v Speaker 2>say I don't want to do anymore and you have

0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:46.080
<v Speaker 2>that weight off and it feels great.

0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Well I can see that. I can see there being

0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:51.480
<v Speaker 1>things in your career where you're like you've let go

0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:52.719
<v Speaker 1>of it and you feel that.

0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:55.040
<v Speaker 2>Really yeah, like one day, who knows, there might be

0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.600
<v Speaker 2>a relief when we end this. I don't know, you

0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:59.600
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean, Like there are like doing spumps,

0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, Oh, like it's like something where it's

0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:06.160
<v Speaker 2>like when week who knows stuff, but I do.

0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:08.480
<v Speaker 3>Like even when Preston was like, I don't know, like

0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, he struggles with being away from us so much,

0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.160
<v Speaker 3>like he's just gone so much and he's missing so

0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:15.240
<v Speaker 3>many things. And as they get older, they're bigger and

0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:18.960
<v Speaker 3>bigger things. So it's like, you know, Legend's one of

0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:20.480
<v Speaker 3>the few kids on the team that doesn't have the

0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:22.760
<v Speaker 3>dad at practice and doesn't have a dad at baseball

0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:24.920
<v Speaker 3>like or at the baseball game, and so and like,

0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.440
<v Speaker 3>you know, he's made it to a couple of cheer comps,

0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.200
<v Speaker 3>but he you know whatever. And so I finally the

0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:31.880
<v Speaker 3>other day was like, Okay, well what would it like

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.920
<v Speaker 3>if you did, Like what would we do? Let's like

0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:36.640
<v Speaker 3>just try it on in our brains for a minute

0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 3>and just you know.

0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:39.880
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, and I guess I could honestly relate to

0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.560
<v Speaker 2>the music piece, like though it's sad and there's pieces

0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.160
<v Speaker 2>I miss about music and touring that was a big

0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.120
<v Speaker 2>burden to not I don't I didn't want to be

0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.600
<v Speaker 2>on the road, right, yeah, I didn't want that. Like

0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:52.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, well, I got a baby, buy I got

0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:54.920
<v Speaker 2>a grab on a bus like that's not like that

0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:58.640
<v Speaker 2>wasn't what fulfilled my heart and soul. Sure, and I

0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:01.080
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to keep pushing for some thing where I

0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:04.240
<v Speaker 2>could feel myself just hitting that wall every single time

0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:06.120
<v Speaker 2>and being told no, you're not this or this and

0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:10.160
<v Speaker 2>like and and I'm like I did I didn't like it. Yeah,

0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.520
<v Speaker 2>I didn't like the what these program directors were. I

0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.160
<v Speaker 2>didn't like any of it. I didn't like. I did

0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:17.480
<v Speaker 2>not like feeling like I was not good enough every

0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:19.720
<v Speaker 2>single time. That's how I felt from like the comments

0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:23.320
<v Speaker 2>of certain people, like certain program directors that rhyme with

0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:24.920
<v Speaker 2>a gator, you know what I mean, like.

0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:27.600
<v Speaker 3>And hater for them.

0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:30.840
<v Speaker 2>So I'm just saying, like, you know what I mean,

0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:32.720
<v Speaker 2>like when you're constantly told that you're just not good,

0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.720
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm like, I don't want to keep doing this.

0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:37.240
<v Speaker 2>This is not fun for me anymore.

0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:40.840
<v Speaker 3>Like this is a conversation in my home. Yeah, it's wild.

0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.120
<v Speaker 3>Well it's like you know, they sent out a project,

0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:47.920
<v Speaker 3>right and and somebody comes back with like a time

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:52.000
<v Speaker 3>to go back to the studio and you're like, put

0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.080
<v Speaker 3>my heart and soul and you know what I'm saying.

0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:55.720
<v Speaker 1>Like it's just a wild time.

0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.000
<v Speaker 3>But also these people aren't saying things to their faces either,

0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:00.520
<v Speaker 3>So it is what it is. I just, I just,

0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.240
<v Speaker 3>I know we've all had those moments in life where

0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:06.840
<v Speaker 3>like we've quit something and we've felt the relief, and

0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:07.960
<v Speaker 3>then there's other times.

0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:11.840
<v Speaker 2>Where like marriages, I felt, Wow, now.

0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:15.800
<v Speaker 3>That's a whole nother podcast. I definitely feel that. Yeah,

0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.120
<v Speaker 3>the relief I remember a deep relief.

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:18.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.320
<v Speaker 3>A sadness and a relief. Yeah, two things true at

0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:23.800
<v Speaker 3>the same time, one hundred percent. Oh yeah, sadness, but

0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:28.400
<v Speaker 3>not because of the person. Like I remember someone's like, well,

0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:30.560
<v Speaker 3>I never cried a drop. I'm like, oh no, my

0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:33.120
<v Speaker 3>tears were not for you, sweetheart. My tears were for

0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:36.560
<v Speaker 3>the family that I lost, like and dream. It was

0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:39.960
<v Speaker 3>never because of you, Like, let's not lose that in translation,

0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.800
<v Speaker 3>like let me be, let me be. We're still clear

0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 3>on that, you know what I mean, Like, because I remember,

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:47.800
<v Speaker 3>you know, he even spoke on our podcast He's like,

0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:49.760
<v Speaker 3>I didn't cry once, and I'm like I always thought

0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:51.240
<v Speaker 3>about that because I'm like, was he trying to say

0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:53.040
<v Speaker 3>that to be like like.

0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 2>Not that he was like trying to be mean or whatever.

0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.880
<v Speaker 2>But I've always reflected on that because I'm like, oh,

0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.320
<v Speaker 2>I also like, my tears were not for you.

0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:04.520
<v Speaker 3>I think that is probably like a symptom of the

0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:09.720
<v Speaker 3>emotional intelligence. I think that that was what that was. Yeah,

0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:11.560
<v Speaker 3>I don't, but I do think it's funny.

0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, no, but it's a fashion.

0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:18.200
<v Speaker 2>But we know too much. It's my favorite version of us.

0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.800
<v Speaker 2>It's okay when someone doesn't cry about the end of

0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:24.760
<v Speaker 2>a and they can be relieved. But I want to

0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:26.200
<v Speaker 2>be clear, my tears were.

0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:27.000
<v Speaker 3>Not the.

0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:31.040
<v Speaker 2>State. I just have never actually said that because it

0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:32.240
<v Speaker 2>was like I was.

0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:35.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, while you say this, but I really want to

0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:36.960
<v Speaker 1>say to you, is now okay.

0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:56.159
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of marriages, Juliana Hoff reacts to x getting married

0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.280
<v Speaker 2>in Idaho wedding on a post of Brooks and his

0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.399
<v Speaker 2>new wedding announcement, Juliana commented, congratulations, so so happy for

0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:05.200
<v Speaker 2>you both, sending you all love, health and happiness for

0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:06.719
<v Speaker 2>the years to come for you and your family. I

0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.359
<v Speaker 2>love that Juliana and Brooks previously got married on the

0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:14.320
<v Speaker 2>same Idaho lakeside in twenty seventeen. He told people that

0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:16.359
<v Speaker 2>he knew this venue is where he wanted to get

0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:17.280
<v Speaker 2>married from the start.

0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:21.320
<v Speaker 3>So thoughts ladies like he's married two different women in

0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:24.560
<v Speaker 3>the same venue. Yeah, same l same like, oh same la.

0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.560
<v Speaker 2>First of all, I love the congre like I love

0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:32.080
<v Speaker 2>the congratulations. Hell, I love that. So I just think

0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:37.480
<v Speaker 2>that's always so beautiful to see. Yeah, Like, for example,

0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:40.480
<v Speaker 2>one of the questions here is did Mike publicly congratulate?

0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean that publicly, But he wrote me a card?

0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:44.680
<v Speaker 3>Remember did I show you guys that I vaguely remember this.

0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:49.119
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he he wrote me a like a really sweet card. Well.

0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:52.040
<v Speaker 3>I also think he deeply like respects and loves Alan,

0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:53.880
<v Speaker 3>so I think.

0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.960
<v Speaker 2>He Yeah, it was just like I just remember, like

0:18:57.000 --> 0:18:59.359
<v Speaker 2>I didn't need some public right right. I don't know

0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.439
<v Speaker 2>if he commented. I haven't looked back on like my

0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:05.080
<v Speaker 2>wedding cook to see like who commented, But like it

0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:07.800
<v Speaker 2>was the private piece of it that was so sweet.

0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:13.200
<v Speaker 2>That was like he wrote such a thoughtful card of

0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.159
<v Speaker 2>like being like I'm proud of I'm happy for you

0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 2>and all the things you're getting, what you deserve and

0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:18.520
<v Speaker 2>all that you know, And it was just like I

0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:21.560
<v Speaker 2>love that. So but he lucked out.

0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:23.359
<v Speaker 3>That's what That's what my statement was trying to be like,

0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:26.720
<v Speaker 3>you have taken such a mature high road and you've

0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:29.399
<v Speaker 3>married someone that also does the same. It could be

0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.719
<v Speaker 3>very easily not that way, And so I think, like

0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:35.359
<v Speaker 3>his appreciation feels healthy and valid.

0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:39.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, for sure, but I don't. But what do

0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:41.600
<v Speaker 2>you guys think about the same like kind of location.

0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:47.320
<v Speaker 1>I think if it doesn't bother her, then what does

0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:48.520
<v Speaker 1>it hurt?

0:19:48.960 --> 0:19:49.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:51.160
<v Speaker 3>I find it interesting. I actually.

0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:55.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm so curious to see I kind of had a

0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:57.720
<v Speaker 2>feeling that was big, But I'm curious where.

0:19:57.760 --> 0:19:58.440
<v Speaker 3>Don't like it.

0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:00.520
<v Speaker 2>I knew you weren't going to that's I knew I

0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:02.399
<v Speaker 2>was going to falter to Catherine on this one. I

0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:04.359
<v Speaker 2>was gonna agree with Kat and I knew I had

0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:07.479
<v Speaker 2>a feeling too. Yeah, why do you think that's the feeling?

0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:11.879
<v Speaker 2>It's you're more like the intentionality.

0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:13.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, which I am too.

0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:15.040
<v Speaker 2>But at the same time, I can so separate and

0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:16.720
<v Speaker 2>then marry someone off of the same like you know

0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:20.560
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. I'm like such a good point, Like

0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:21.920
<v Speaker 2>I would be like, you want to get married in

0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:23.840
<v Speaker 2>the same castle, me and I all got married, Like you.

0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:27.159
<v Speaker 1>Really do kind of contradict yourself all in that. I

0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:29.560
<v Speaker 1>wasn't sure where you'd go, But that makes sense. I

0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:31.760
<v Speaker 1>knew where I was. I knew where you would.

0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:35.119
<v Speaker 3>Probably There's just so many places in the world that

0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:36.280
<v Speaker 3>we could go, you know, And I.

0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Gets it's important. It must be special to him, yes,

0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:41.479
<v Speaker 2>of course, and again and to them, you know, I

0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:43.080
<v Speaker 2>certainly know one to be on a record, I would

0:20:43.080 --> 0:20:45.560
<v Speaker 2>love to just I would love to just say that

0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:49.320
<v Speaker 2>I want everyone to be you know, many times after

0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:51.640
<v Speaker 2>I said my one thing, I'm like, I want everybody

0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:55.840
<v Speaker 2>to be happy, because that is my truth.

0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:59.440
<v Speaker 3>That's right, and I do. I I if it doesn't

0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:02.200
<v Speaker 3>bother her, doesn't bother me. But I've had a very

0:21:02.320 --> 0:21:06.200
<v Speaker 3>if you were in a situatuation where a location has

0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.840
<v Speaker 3>been repeated and it didn't I was the first of

0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:12.600
<v Speaker 3>that location, and so it did not bother me at all.

0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:16.639
<v Speaker 3>But I wondered sometimes if that if if the person

0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:19.200
<v Speaker 3>even knew that was always my thing.

0:21:19.240 --> 0:21:22.639
<v Speaker 2>Obviously this day she knows because it's so public. But

0:21:22.880 --> 0:21:25.560
<v Speaker 2>can I contradict myself yet again?

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:27.600
<v Speaker 1>I know I kind of have something too, Like.

0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:31.880
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to go to a place that either

0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:35.760
<v Speaker 2>one of us had. So I've never had a honeymoon

0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:40.120
<v Speaker 2>follow my marriages. I never have either, well I have now,

0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:41.800
<v Speaker 2>but like, yeah, you know, what I mean, It was

0:21:41.880 --> 0:21:45.960
<v Speaker 2>really important to me to not be in a location

0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:48.480
<v Speaker 2>where either one of us had gone before. I like that,

0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:50.760
<v Speaker 2>But of course I would find a vacation with someone else.

0:21:50.800 --> 0:21:52.760
<v Speaker 2>So that's where I can contradict myself right there, Okay,

0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:55.880
<v Speaker 2>Because I wanted it to just be something that we

0:21:56.680 --> 0:22:01.320
<v Speaker 2>experience together and vacation together and experienced together for the

0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:04.720
<v Speaker 2>first time. Yeah, for some reason that was important to me.

0:22:04.840 --> 0:22:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Couldn't care less if he got married in Scotland before,

0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:11.160
<v Speaker 2>couldn't care less that, like you know whatever is That

0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:14.520
<v Speaker 2>was the piece that I was like the most. And

0:22:14.560 --> 0:22:16.640
<v Speaker 2>then like in this situation, like who cares? Like everyone

0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:19.240
<v Speaker 2>like if it's important to them, it's yeah again all

0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:21.560
<v Speaker 2>the things. Yes, no, no, I get it.

0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:24.080
<v Speaker 3>And I do like when a location like that is important,

0:22:24.080 --> 0:22:26.800
<v Speaker 3>and sometimes I think it's worth making a new memory

0:22:26.920 --> 0:22:28.960
<v Speaker 3>that sits, you know, like when it is someplace that's

0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:32.080
<v Speaker 3>really important to you. Yeah, and like listen, we'll go

0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:37.679
<v Speaker 3>vacation somewhere where he's of course, because we've been did

0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:42.040
<v Speaker 3>people years before us in New Mexico.

0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:42.720
<v Speaker 2>You know what I mean.

0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:44.520
<v Speaker 1>Yes, can't go to Mexico.

0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:46.040
<v Speaker 2>Like you know what I'm saying. But like for something

0:22:46.040 --> 0:22:48.240
<v Speaker 2>that was specific to like our honeymoon. I was like,

0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:49.840
<v Speaker 2>that was very much like can we go here it?

0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 2>And He's like no. I went on like, okay, let's

0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:53.840
<v Speaker 2>scratch that, you know. I felt that way when we

0:22:53.840 --> 0:22:56.680
<v Speaker 2>were picking baby names. I was like, oh, gido gee,

0:22:56.800 --> 0:22:57.440
<v Speaker 2>is there any name?

0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:00.720
<v Speaker 1>So what's interesting to me is I I was thinking

0:23:01.680 --> 0:23:05.360
<v Speaker 1>at first when reading this, would it upset me if

0:23:05.359 --> 0:23:09.960
<v Speaker 1>I were Julianne, not if I was the new right?

0:23:10.760 --> 0:23:13.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's what I never even looked at it though.

0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:15.320
<v Speaker 1>That's the way I was looking at this the whole time.

0:23:15.640 --> 0:23:18.399
<v Speaker 3>I feel like I'm the Julianne, which is so it

0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:22.120
<v Speaker 3>should bother me. But I I wonder if that person

0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:24.480
<v Speaker 3>knows all of those locations.

0:23:24.000 --> 0:23:26.880
<v Speaker 1>Like I feel like if I were in that position,

0:23:28.240 --> 0:23:30.600
<v Speaker 1>it would bother me. If I were Julianne.

0:23:31.240 --> 0:23:32.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh see, I could care less if my ex got

0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:35.400
<v Speaker 2>married in the same vineyard we got married on also same.

0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:37.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why I feel like that would maybe

0:23:37.240 --> 0:23:37.879
<v Speaker 1>bother me.

0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:40.520
<v Speaker 2>But that's so amazing. I love how we're so different

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:41.280
<v Speaker 2>on like all of this.

0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:44.639
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I definitely probably wouldn't want to if I

0:23:44.720 --> 0:23:47.280
<v Speaker 1>was the new one. Again, it's whatever they want to do.

0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I definitely probably wouldn't because I'm like, I don't want

0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:50.960
<v Speaker 1>to have like pictures look the same as like you

0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:53.359
<v Speaker 1>know whatever. But I feel like it would bother me

0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:54.960
<v Speaker 1>if I was.

0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:56.240
<v Speaker 2>Can I ask you why?

0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:57.040
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:23:57.480 --> 0:24:02.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious myself because that's all kept talking. I'm like, interesting, Yeah,

0:24:02.240 --> 0:24:03.199
<v Speaker 1>it definitely thought me.

0:24:03.840 --> 0:24:05.800
<v Speaker 3>I will say this though, and this may be not

0:24:06.000 --> 0:24:09.120
<v Speaker 3>like super on the same line, but like, I remember

0:24:09.240 --> 0:24:13.439
<v Speaker 3>that my ex moved back to our hometown and so

0:24:13.520 --> 0:24:16.960
<v Speaker 3>I felt very like he got the hometown in the divorce,

0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:20.399
<v Speaker 3>and so for a while I didn't like home because

0:24:20.440 --> 0:24:24.600
<v Speaker 3>I was like, everyone probably has this preconceived notion of me, Like.

0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:28.679
<v Speaker 1>In my mind, the lake was probably a special place

0:24:28.720 --> 0:24:31.639
<v Speaker 1>for them first because they were together first, but it

0:24:31.680 --> 0:24:35.240
<v Speaker 1>could it could. I know totally that. I think. Maybe

0:24:35.240 --> 0:24:37.480
<v Speaker 1>that's why I went there because I was thinking, oh,

0:24:37.480 --> 0:24:39.880
<v Speaker 1>this was so special to them, and then he went

0:24:39.960 --> 0:24:42.680
<v Speaker 1>and just did it again. But anyway, it's just very

0:24:42.680 --> 0:24:44.240
<v Speaker 1>fascinating that I was thinking about.

0:24:44.080 --> 0:24:47.200
<v Speaker 3>Her and not the Yeah, I didn't even think about

0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:51.920
<v Speaker 3>that way. Yeah, so that's why very different always matter.

0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:52.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:24:52.400 --> 0:24:55.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, interesting, But I hope everyone's really happy. I do too,

0:24:55.800 --> 0:24:58.200
<v Speaker 3>and I do. I actually do really want to stand

0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:00.480
<v Speaker 3>by the statement, like I love making a a new

0:25:00.560 --> 0:25:03.439
<v Speaker 3>memory and recreating a space because I got to do

0:25:03.520 --> 0:25:05.800
<v Speaker 3>that at home and I felt like I can go

0:25:05.880 --> 0:25:07.600
<v Speaker 3>home now, you know, like the rip off the band

0:25:07.600 --> 0:25:09.720
<v Speaker 3>aid and just go back. But so it could be

0:25:09.760 --> 0:25:12.359
<v Speaker 3>that you know, it's super sacred and you get to

0:25:12.400 --> 0:25:13.679
<v Speaker 3>like marry your forever person.

0:25:13.880 --> 0:25:16.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean clearly new wife didn't care no, because she

0:25:17.000 --> 0:25:18.800
<v Speaker 1>get married there. Yeah, so she's cool.

0:25:20.000 --> 0:25:23.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah the whole time there it is. I mean, listen,

0:25:23.680 --> 0:25:26.000
<v Speaker 2>I I would even marry my ex, like if they wanted.

0:25:26.119 --> 0:25:27.720
<v Speaker 2>If you want to be the efficient.

0:25:27.880 --> 0:25:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I was like, what kidding?

0:25:29.600 --> 0:25:31.919
<v Speaker 3>We're married, scratch that publicly. I don't know if we

0:25:31.960 --> 0:25:33.440
<v Speaker 3>need to sign up to be ordained.

0:25:33.960 --> 0:25:36.679
<v Speaker 1>Things are getting Also, wasn't thinking ordained first?

0:25:38.880 --> 0:25:42.560
<v Speaker 2>And I'm kidding, But I know you.

0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:45.680
<v Speaker 1>Would do something like that for them, So would Mike

0:25:45.760 --> 0:25:48.600
<v Speaker 1>for that matter, Yes, both, if y'all would do something

0:25:48.640 --> 0:25:49.359
<v Speaker 1>like that, Mike.

0:25:49.359 --> 0:25:50.680
<v Speaker 3>Is actually bummed you didn't that.

0:25:51.600 --> 0:25:56.240
<v Speaker 2>Probably he's like, yeah, anyway, all right, y'all have a

0:25:56.280 --> 0:26:07.040
<v Speaker 2>good one too. Bye