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Speaker 1: I have a headband one because my hair is extremely dirty,

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Speaker 1: because that sums up my week's pretty dirty too. Before

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Speaker 1: we started. Just now you go, I'm about to say,

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Speaker 1: I'm are we recording? Because that's the way this post.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I am How often do you see me

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Speaker 1: in a mood? Really? Honestly, I'm not sure that I have.

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Speaker 1: Maybe like once in our whole relationship. I'm just like

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Speaker 1: in a mood. Tell us about it, what happened? I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I just think I'm overwhelmed right now, like

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Speaker 1: I have. You know, our dear friend Stephanie is like

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Speaker 1: trying to get us to go out and meet for

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Speaker 1: happy hour, and it's like like happy hour? Who has

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Speaker 1: time for a happy hour? And it makes me angry

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, she's literally the sweetest person in the world,

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Speaker 1: just trying to like bring joy into my life. Why

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Speaker 1: is it upsetting me? And I'm just like I'm in

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Speaker 1: the mood. You know, I'm in the mood. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was also feeling the same overwhelmed that you're feeling.

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Speaker 1: And I was like bitching earlier. I was on set

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Speaker 1: all day like set life is back, because I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my fucking god, like I don't know how to

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Speaker 1: be this busy with multiple clients again. And then I

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Speaker 1: like checked myself a little bit and I was like,

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Speaker 1: shut the funk up. You have a job, Like your

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Speaker 1: clients are working right now. I have nothing to complain about.

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Speaker 1: So that's the thing is. And you know, I'm preparing

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Speaker 1: for an album released, so it's like I know that

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Speaker 1: this will pass sure, So I just have to remind myself.

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Speaker 1: And again it's like, I'm really lucky. This is actually

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Speaker 1: a really exciting time. I should be leaning into it.

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Speaker 1: I was awake till three am, up at seven thirty

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Speaker 1: to start working again. So I'm just tired. Well you

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Speaker 1: know what happens when you're tired, The words just flow freely.

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Speaker 1: I have to start with something, though. I got a

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Speaker 1: message today and it's from a man named Norm nom

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Speaker 1: Yes and um I posted the other day on my

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Speaker 1: Instagram at Velvet's Edge. Everyone goes just like become a

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Speaker 1: third trap. I'm like, hey, by the way, haven't mentioned

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Speaker 1: that my Instagram. I'm just kidding, um, but if you

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Speaker 1: want to go follow, go for it. So anyway, Norm

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Speaker 1: I posted the other day in my stories. You know

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Speaker 1: like we've gotten we had gotten a couple of messages

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Speaker 1: like backed up in our email that we needed to

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Speaker 1: respond to, and so I was like, Okay, let's just

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Speaker 1: go ahead and do a Q and A again. It

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Speaker 1: seems like the people like this Q and A, which

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Speaker 1: I love. I mean, I we as we say all

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Speaker 1: the time, we're not experts, but we're speaking solely from

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Speaker 1: our experience. We do research some questions that we know

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Speaker 1: nothing about, but we're also just like talking to you

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Speaker 1: like friends, like here's what we would do in that situation. Um.

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Speaker 1: But when I asked about what people wanted to know

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Speaker 1: about this time, Norm, Norm wrote me right back. Norm said, okay,

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Speaker 1: since you offered your podcast is not kind to older

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Speaker 1: men and women. I'm in my forties and single and

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Speaker 1: just going by your your wisdom a lost cause I

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Speaker 1: think you can still have a life if you are

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Speaker 1: in your forties and single. Calling us weird is unkind well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm forty four. I was so confused when

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Speaker 1: I read this message. I wrote Norm, who called you weird?

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Speaker 1: And he wrote, I'm like, first of all, now I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna call you weird because you just made this up.

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Speaker 1: I don't think i've ever ever if I have I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll stop. But like, I don't think i've ever because

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Speaker 1: I'm thirty eight. Like, I think we more talk about

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Speaker 1: dating and how it gets harder when you're older sometimes,

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Speaker 1: or like, um, just the situations from an older perspective.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't feel like I'm even older. But

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Speaker 1: we referenced a lot of different topics, and I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like I've ever once said anything of the sort.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I think we I mean we've even talked

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Speaker 1: about how sex gets better. Right, I'm very confused. So

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Speaker 1: he wrote me back. Norm and I had quite the dialogue,

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Speaker 1: and he said, uh, sorry, I'm meant to say that

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Speaker 1: you can be over forty and still have a chance

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Speaker 1: at finding a relationship. It's more difficult, but one can hope.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I fucking hope. So I mean I could

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Speaker 1: be a lost cause them. I'm like, Norm, rereal the

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Speaker 1: same team here. Man, I'm in a relationship, but I've

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Speaker 1: never been married. I'm not married. I'm not talking about

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Speaker 1: it from that perspective at all. Nor do I think

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Speaker 1: that your life is over at your forties. In your forties,

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Speaker 1: maybe I when I talked about the pressure of it

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Speaker 1: is what he's referencing. Maybe. I mean, look, the truth

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Speaker 1: is is like, God, I feel like I've since I

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Speaker 1: was like nearing my forties and into my forties, I

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Speaker 1: kind of feel like I've been living my best life, right,

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Speaker 1: you say that all the time becomes tricky is when

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Speaker 1: there's a biological clock that's ticket and that's said stuff

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Speaker 1: that you've you may have referenced, but I don't think

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Speaker 1: weird has ever been. Yeah, I mean, I'm always sorry

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Speaker 1: to offend. I'm never actually intending to offend. The only

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Speaker 1: other thing I thought was whenever you try to talk

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Speaker 1: to me about my parents having sex, and I go

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Speaker 1: every time your parents about my parents. I love my

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Speaker 1: parents so much. I don't want to think about them

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Speaker 1: having sex. I think glass like you even tried to

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Speaker 1: put it into two terms of like if my mom

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Speaker 1: had I would like go on to the other side.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I do not want to know. I can

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Speaker 1: guarantee you. What makes you say that, Um, just knowing her.

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Speaker 1: I just don't think like, even if she had an

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Speaker 1: inclination to try it, I don't think she'd be brave enough.

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Speaker 1: Too interesting. Okay, well let's get started in the questions,

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Speaker 1: because um, it's eight ten right now in Nashville, and

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Speaker 1: you and I are both ready for bed, yes except

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Speaker 1: where I won't be there, but I am drinking a

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Speaker 1: lovely rose in the cam Oh so gay of you. Um. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So this tip, this question comes from m Chastity and

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Speaker 1: she says, Okay, could you share some tips for preparing

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Speaker 1: yourself down there for sex? That's a huge part of

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Speaker 1: confidence in sex and intimacy that no one really talks about.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much. Um well, based on her name, her

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Speaker 1: mom doesn't want her having sex. Um. Look, I think

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Speaker 1: it's to each his own. Like there's so there's such

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Speaker 1: a range of down there. Um, some people like it

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Speaker 1: just I mean, I don't know if she's talking about

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Speaker 1: like cleaning it out or like what what its appearance

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Speaker 1: should be. Let's go both. I mean think beauty. I

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Speaker 1: have the beholder. I definitely don't think that like anybody. Look,

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Speaker 1: there are people that like smells um like they because

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Speaker 1: they say it smells like the person, right right. I

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Speaker 1: mean that a pheromone is anyway, But I think pheromones

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Speaker 1: like aren't necessarily meant to be like picked up by

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Speaker 1: like the just the average knows, you know. I think

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Speaker 1: it's one of those things where it's like it's one

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Speaker 1: of those carnal attraction things. Um, but I think that

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Speaker 1: like people should present themselves a way that they want

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Speaker 1: to be presented. If they think that a bush is beautiful,

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Speaker 1: than by all means have a bush. Well. You can

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Speaker 1: actually go back a few podcasts ago of our or

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Speaker 1: was it it was our first question answer our second

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Speaker 1: question and answer, we talked about the bush making a comeback.

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Speaker 1: So if you're into a bush, you'd be like a

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Speaker 1: full bush bush. Um, you can go for that right

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Speaker 1: now because it's very on Trent. I think it's like

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Speaker 1: you said, it's like groom how you want to groom.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm going to clean my shut up. That's

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Speaker 1: just what I do. And you might like a bush.

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Speaker 1: I kind of like the natural vibe. But I do

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Speaker 1: think like you would. That's such a I just knew

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Speaker 1: you would. I think be clean, but that that doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean like clean in the terms of hair, just like hygiene,

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Speaker 1: let's hope. So, especially in the day of oral sex

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Speaker 1: being such a big thing now, it's like, yeah, get

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Speaker 1: your ship clean. Actually I just brought it. Did you

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Speaker 1: see me go get my soap out of the show. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well this is why though. Okay, so I use this soap.

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Speaker 1: It's Dr Browner's eighteen in one himp Peppermint pure castile soap.

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Speaker 1: This is a very long name, um, and it is expensive,

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Speaker 1: but the bottle lasts for so long. This is not

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Speaker 1: You can also get the bars. I don't like the

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Speaker 1: bars as much. The tingle is not the same. Um.

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Speaker 1: This is also not an ad. I just want to say,

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Speaker 1: this is what I've used for years, and it, for

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Speaker 1: some reason makes me feel so much more clean downstairs

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Speaker 1: than other soaps. And also, like I noticed, if I

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Speaker 1: use other soaps like soap can get like stuck. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like residue. What the fund is that I don't want that.

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Speaker 1: This does not have any residue. And the tingle makes

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Speaker 1: you feel really clean. And I've had no complaints that

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, so I'm trying to laven you up

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Speaker 1: right now. I'm like looking at you making somebody who

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Speaker 1: had complained. But I was like, that's just gonna fall flat. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I just edited out I love it, like you've packed

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Speaker 1: your soap for the tingle at it out here for

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Speaker 1: the podcast. But no, I read this question and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, let me go give chastity some really

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Speaker 1: solid advice. You can buy I don't know if you

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Speaker 1: can buy that at Trader Joe's. Yes you can, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Amazon has it. You can buy a multi pack. Don't

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Speaker 1: be alarmed by the price because I think it is

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Speaker 1: like twelve to fifteen dollars a bottle, but the bottles

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Speaker 1: are huge and they last a really Yeah. Also, like

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend was like what when he saw the price,

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Speaker 1: literally made so much fun of me, and then he

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Speaker 1: started using it because I brought it to his cabin

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Speaker 1: and like he's hooked now. Great. So I think it's

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Speaker 1: also animal cruelty free. There's a lot of reasons to

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Speaker 1: use it. Yeah, So anyway, many women alike, if you

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Speaker 1: really want to feel clean down there, go for this.

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Speaker 1: So it's like a peppermint vibe. It's a little tingle.

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Speaker 1: It's a little tingle. I just think it's also like

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Speaker 1: if you know you're going on a date and there's

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Speaker 1: a chance that happens, just do your best to be ready.

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Speaker 1: You feel like you need to do a couple of keegeles,

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Speaker 1: get shipped tight. I don't think I think it goes

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Speaker 1: for men to like, yeah, well, hygiene is hygiene. Hye,

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Speaker 1: we always want good hygiene. Um. Okay, let's see this

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Speaker 1: one is a doozy. This once from Lauren. She said,

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Speaker 1: not sure if you guys already talked about this, but

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Speaker 1: what do y'all think about friendly ex is? Immediately my

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Speaker 1: body's triggered. I know, I know you do. How do

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Speaker 1: we feel if our partner talks to their ex should

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Speaker 1: we be concerned? Does it make us look insecure? Where

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Speaker 1: do we draw the line? Loaded? I mean, yes, it's

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Speaker 1: so case by case, and I feel like I say

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Speaker 1: that all the time, but I am personally like I

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Speaker 1: like to be friends with my exes. I often feel

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Speaker 1: unless they turned out to be a fucking terrible person, right, um,

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Speaker 1: And then that's a little bit on you if you're

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Speaker 1: like you allowed yourself to day that. But there are

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Speaker 1: people that are masters of disguise too, there are um,

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Speaker 1: so you know. My philosophy is that like if someone

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Speaker 1: was that important to you for at some point in

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Speaker 1: your life, there there are good quality So it's like,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you have to be best friends right away. Um.

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Speaker 1: But her question is a little bit more about like

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Speaker 1: putting up with your partner's exes. Well, it's like if

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Speaker 1: you're in a new relationship and your partner is friendly

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Speaker 1: with their ex, Like, I mean, I guess it's like

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Speaker 1: it sounds like she's saying, where is the line? Like

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Speaker 1: what does friendly look like? Should we be concerned? Does

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Speaker 1: it make us look insecure? Where do we draw the line?

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Speaker 1: I think that it is fair to express concern. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's just being communicative, and it is. It's like and

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Speaker 1: while expressing that kind of concern, you can set you

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Speaker 1: can remind people that you trust them, and it's like

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Speaker 1: a way to sort of like friendly Like it's like

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Speaker 1: a friendly warn like, look, I'm cool with you doing this,

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Speaker 1: Like it does make me uncomfortable? Yeah, I think it's

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Speaker 1: a It's like you said, are she may be asked,

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Speaker 1: where's the line? And so to me, I think concern.

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Speaker 1: I hate that word because then it makes me feel

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Speaker 1: like you go to the place of like needing to

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Speaker 1: feel not jealous, but that like there's something in there

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Speaker 1: that you don't actually trust. But if you're coming from

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Speaker 1: the place like what you said, and you could have

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Speaker 1: a conversation to be like, hey, can you help me

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Speaker 1: understand this relationship now, like what's the deal? Like just

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Speaker 1: kind of like being walked through why they're still in

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Speaker 1: each other's lives and understanding that relationship. Um, you might

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Speaker 1: be more surprised than you would think that you could

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Speaker 1: get okay with stuff? Does that make sense even me?

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Speaker 1: Like I talked about this often, but I have a

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Speaker 1: past of being cheated on really bad in a relationship,

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Speaker 1: so that's a tough subject for me. Like it's like

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Speaker 1: any other women, I've had to work really hard to

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Speaker 1: kind of chip is yawning while Jesus, but anyway, I Um,

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Speaker 1: I have to have had to work really hard at

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Speaker 1: like trust and and keeping that in a relationship. But

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Speaker 1: like there's some people who are you know, like you said,

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Speaker 1: they can just maintain a friendship or like I work

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Speaker 1: with someone I dated, you know, I mean not seriously,

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Speaker 1: but like I think there can be certain situations where

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Speaker 1: you're like, hey, that way wasn't the right way for

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Speaker 1: us to have a relationship, but like we're really good

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Speaker 1: at this, or like you bring this to my life

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Speaker 1: and your partner could get okay with it, right. I mean, look,

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of relationships the majority of it

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Speaker 1: is a friendship. So it's if the romantic side of

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Speaker 1: something dies. It doesn't necessarily mean that the friendship needs

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Speaker 1: to It's just you have to know that the romantic

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Speaker 1: side died, and there have to I think there has

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Speaker 1: to be boundaries. Yeah. I think. Look, if if your

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Speaker 1: partner is like like, hey, I'm gonna go out and

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Speaker 1: have dinner with my ex, that might be a line

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Speaker 1: that they're crossing, you know, But if you're friends with

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Speaker 1: your if they're friends with their your their ex and

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Speaker 1: their exs new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever it is

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Speaker 1: that I mean might be fine. It is very situational.

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Speaker 1: I think it's all about you guys, having an open

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Speaker 1: and honest communication about it, you understanding where the relationship lies.

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Speaker 1: And also um trusting your body because I just think

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Speaker 1: you know when it's like something that shouldn't be trusted,

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Speaker 1: or if they're coming to you and they're like very

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Speaker 1: open and honest and they're like, hey, where do we

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Speaker 1: need to put these boundaries? Like I feel like that's safe?

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Speaker 1: Do you feel that? Yeah? I mean I look, I

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Speaker 1: think trusting your gut is the real thing, because if

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Speaker 1: you feel like someone is breaking your trust, it's usually happening.

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Speaker 1: So and if I feel like if your partner is

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Speaker 1: being honest about it, then you probably don't have anything

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Speaker 1: to worry about saying Okay, this one was very interesting

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Speaker 1: to me and she has to be kept anonymous, but

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Speaker 1: she said, how often How often is it normal to

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Speaker 1: have sex after you've been dating for like five months?

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Speaker 1: Is a two week break long? Or is that normal?

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Speaker 1: Five months? Um? Oh, that sounds a little long. But

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Speaker 1: I also think too, it's like depends on how much

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Speaker 1: they were sucking for those five months. I guess that's true. Well,

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Speaker 1: the first thing that came to my mind is like,

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Speaker 1: I've dated a lot of people in the music industry

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Speaker 1: and so like sometimes they could just be gone for

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Speaker 1: two weeks, And that was where my head immediately when

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Speaker 1: I was like, I guess that's not I mean, because

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Speaker 1: that would be normal if you're together every day for

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Speaker 1: two weeks. That feels a little strange to me, especially

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Speaker 1: that early on, Like I don't know, I would hope

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Speaker 1: to have sex at least once a week, and even

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Speaker 1: in a long term relationship, but it takes two people

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Speaker 1: to tango too, So it's like, don't you know, if

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Speaker 1: you're wanting to have sex, you should try to initiate

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Speaker 1: it because someone could be getting a signal from you

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Speaker 1: that they think you're not interested, so you gotta put

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Speaker 1: it out there for sure. And two weeks go by

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Speaker 1: and you're trying to have sex and someone's not having

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Speaker 1: sex with you. Sure, um yeah, but I do think

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Speaker 1: girls kind of cop out sometimes I'm initiating, and so

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Speaker 1: that is an important thing to say, is like, hey,

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Speaker 1: it's not just on him, like if you want to

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Speaker 1: have sex or you're feeling it, or you're like, hey,

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Speaker 1: why haven't we had sex in two weeks? Jump his bones,

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Speaker 1: walk in wearing something like scant you know, like be sexy,

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00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 1: like send the message right, Hey, I'm open, open, dress

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Speaker 1: like a like a slutty maid. You're like, I'm just

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Speaker 1: going to clean the house today, like what naked? Um? Okay,

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Speaker 1: this comes from Jessica. She said, in my past relationship,

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Speaker 1: I learned to really enjoy a little fifty shades action.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to be whipped, but like a little choking. Oh,

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Speaker 1: like a little choking is hot. My fiance is not

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Speaker 1: into any of that. He says he doesn't like being

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Speaker 1: so aggressive makes him feel like he's abuse sing me.

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Speaker 1: How can I help them to see that? It's all

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Speaker 1: about the trust For me. It's see, it's so freeing

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Speaker 1: to be a little extra dirty. Like I'm a mom

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Speaker 1: of five, I have to hold the world together all day.

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Speaker 1: Let me be a little extra behind closed doors. Excuse this? Chip?

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Speaker 1: Can you turn your ringer off? Really? Wow? Wow? Um? Look,

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Speaker 1: I do you like choking chip? You know a lot

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Speaker 1: of that, like kinky stuff. Like it's not that I

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Speaker 1: don't like it. It makes me feel weird like it

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Speaker 1: because it feels like there's something like you're acting you know, um,

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Speaker 1: but I do think like if it's something that you

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Speaker 1: really like, you need to push them to try it

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Speaker 1: and remind them like that they're doing it for you, like,

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Speaker 1: because sex is given take like, it's not all about like, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't like that because I'm sure there's plenty of

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Speaker 1: women that like don't like to give blow jobs, but

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Speaker 1: they do it because I love that. That's always your

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Speaker 1: go to literally, any time you could think of something

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Speaker 1: a woman doesn't want to do, do you know love

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Speaker 1: sucking dick? Besides, you do this conversation every fucking time.

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Speaker 1: But but you know, I think people in sects. It's

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Speaker 1: like sometimes you have to do what pleases your partner.

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00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 1: It's not just about being you being pleasured, or the

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00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:32,119
Speaker 1: assumption that like just wham bam is like fun for

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Speaker 1: both people. It's like giving yourself to somebody is like

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00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 1: a gift, and sometimes it means like doing the things

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00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,560
Speaker 1: that you don't want to do. It should be, you know,

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Speaker 1: within the realm of safe boundaries. But um, I think

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Speaker 1: that like she needs to keep getting him to do

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Speaker 1: stuff because ultimately he's going to find that she enjoys

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00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,920
Speaker 1: it and that turn him on and he'll probably ease

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Speaker 1: into it a little more. I think that that you're

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Speaker 1: right about the boundaries because it's like you want to

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Speaker 1: be open to what your partner wants, but at the

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Speaker 1: same time, you don't like what you said, how you

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Speaker 1: feel stupid and you're like acting. It's like it's so

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Speaker 1: hard to stay in your body sometimes when someone's like,

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Speaker 1: oh do this, what the I get the choking thing,

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Speaker 1: especially what she's saying, and she's like, I literally am

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Speaker 1: holding the fucking world together all day every day. I

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Speaker 1: want to like let just let your walls down and

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Speaker 1: like probably be a little man handled. Like I know

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00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 1: that sounds weird, but you're so some people it might

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Speaker 1: like it doesn't at all to me. Like it just

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Speaker 1: makes sense. It's like if you're running ship all day,

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Speaker 1: you want somebody to come in and be like spank

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Speaker 1: that bottom or choke me, and it doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be like choke me out. So I'm pasted out. Remember

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Speaker 1: that thing when you used to Did you ever do

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Speaker 1: that thing when you were a kid where you would

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Speaker 1: like crowds down and breathe really fast and stand up

365
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Speaker 1: and have like hauld your neck and faint dying Because

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Speaker 1: I'm imagining you used to make our friends faint all

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Speaker 1: the time doesn't surprise me. What if choking in like

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Speaker 1: middle school? I guess I hope the next person that

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00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: you have sex with is like who makes me cheke?

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Speaker 1: Make me faint? So yeah, it's about boundaries. But I

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Speaker 1: do hope that her partner opens up a little bit

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Speaker 1: because if she's asking for it, it's not abusive. Maybe

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Speaker 1: it's just like easing, you know, don't fully go all

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Speaker 1: the way, just a half choke. That's our recommendation. Tell

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00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 1: your fiance just half choke. But I also think too,

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Speaker 1: it's like maybe you do need to sort of like

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Speaker 1: laugh through it and like have fun with it for

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Speaker 1: a minute, like and let him let your partner like

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Speaker 1: ease into it, so because it might just be like

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00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 1: a weird, uncomfortable thing too. Yeah, or like they're I

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00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,480
Speaker 1: think guys a lot of times with anything aggressive with women,

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Speaker 1: Like certain guys can are like no, you know, because

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Speaker 1: they don't want to be that guy. Next thing, you know,

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00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: you're going to work with like choke marks on your neck,

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00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,159
Speaker 1: and your husband's like getting the evil eye from all

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00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,200
Speaker 1: your friends, right right, I mean if we ever go

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00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 1: back to work, he's rolling us up. Um Okay. This

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00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: is actually something we referenced in last week's podcast. I

389
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,960
Speaker 1: wanted to give you guys a heads up about that.

390
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 1: But how do you feel about being with a man

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Speaker 1: who has experimented with other men? This we talked about

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Speaker 1: this last week. Well, of course you are. I mean

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00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I'm into it. You know what? That

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00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 1: that's actually poses a really sort of like interesting side question,

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Speaker 1: like for the for gay people, how should I be

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Speaker 1: concerned about dating a man that's had sex with women?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, tell us how do you vote? Actually no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not just sort of the inverse of that question,

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Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, and I think it's shines a

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00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 1: light on like how it should why it shouldn't really matter,

401
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: you know, I agree with that. I think it's so

402
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: we're so programmed to think sex should look a certain way,

403
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 1: and so we have things wrong and that gay is wrong.

404
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 1: And so for someone who's trying to be in a

405
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Speaker 1: heterosexual relationship, they're like, oh my god. You know, but

406
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 1: it is that question, like because you had sex with

407
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 1: girls before, and so of course you don't think anything

408
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: of it really because you're like, yeah, but I know

409
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: what that was like, and like in my head that

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Speaker 1: you're like a physically could enjoy it, but I wasn't

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Speaker 1: connected and it wasn't like I wasn't attracted. So it's

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Speaker 1: not threatening to you. A gold star gay. I've never

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00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: even seen him vagina yet, right, But Like if I

414
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Speaker 1: was dating a guy who was like, yeah, sometimes used

415
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: to hook up with guys, I would be very I'd

416
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Speaker 1: be like why, or like what were you attracted? Or

417
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 1: you know, I'd have a lot of follow up questions. Um,

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Speaker 1: we talked about Love on the Spectrum for a second,

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Speaker 1: so I actually watched part of it. Um, I haven't

420
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Speaker 1: gotten through it yet, but there's a there's a scene where, um,

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Speaker 1: one of the guys says you know, I thought maybe

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Speaker 1: I was gay, so I watched cape porn and it

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Speaker 1: turns out I'm not. But like, it's one of those

424
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: things too, I think at like, I think life can

425
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: be really confusing, and we have emotions and feelings that

426
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: we don't really know where they're coming from or what

427
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: they mean. And I think sometimes like people just experiment

428
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: to figure out what it is that they actually like.

429
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: And that might mean that you do something that isn't

430
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: really where you know your center is and you're like, yeah,

431
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 1: that wasn't for me. Yeah I agree with that, but

432
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: you're like you're woke enough to not think that gay

433
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: is gross, you know that. Like so if someone thinks

434
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: that it's like just a normal thing, and they're like,

435
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 1: well maybe I maybe I am. Kay, you know so

436
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: I think, um, I don't think anyone should have a

437
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 1: problem with it as long as they feel like when

438
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 1: they are with somebody, it's a genuine thing that's happening. Yeah,

439
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: they want to be there and they're attracted, the chemistry

440
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: is there. It's a tough one though, I will tell

441
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: you it would give me pause and I hate to

442
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: admit that, but it would. Yeah, less the dick is

443
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: could to be like who sucks better? I'm just kidding,

444
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 1: puff really hope my mom stopped listening? And who was

445
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 1: that the post of this week? Like, oh god, be

446
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: sure of like your mom is not around when you're like,

447
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 1: oh my god, we had a listener post and she

448
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 1: I thought it was a kid? Was it her mom?

449
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: She had us on and she said she like walked

450
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: out the room for a second and came back in

451
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 1: and her mom had walked in the room and we

452
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 1: had just gone into a heavy discussion about bo I'm

453
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 1: pretty sure it was the tried anal episode and um,

454
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,400
Speaker 1: she said. She was like, I've never blushed so hard.

455
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 1: To make sure to put headphones on when you're listening.

456
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 1: I don't even know how our podcast turned into this, really,

457
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 1: but we keep we're doing it because you guys keep

458
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: loving it, and I actually still do enjoy talking about it.

459
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: I'm just like, where's the line? What am I going

460
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: to admit? And what am I not going to admit?

461
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: I want you to admit it all. I edited some

462
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 1: stuff out of last week. I had a panic and

463
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: then I'll listen and I was like, God, it was

464
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: so much better before I edited it. I just gotta

465
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: put it out there, start lives. You know who you are?

466
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: You Okay, this is like a very common thing. It

467
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: comes from Mackenzie and she says, how do you maintain

468
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 1: a good love life sex life when you're going through stressful,

469
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: draining life events that leave you physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted?

470
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: Thanks for the inside. I mean everybody deals with that,

471
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: right Yeah. I mean the idea of, like right now

472
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 1: in my life, if I were in a relationship having

473
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: to please somebody else like that would really stress me out. Yeah,

474
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 1: I think that, Um, it's an important rumor that, like

475
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: life ebbs and flows, I think so too. But I

476
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 1: also think sometimes like having the bottom knocked out of you,

477
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: like you can distress can distract you from like all

478
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: the bullshit that we're dealing with in our daily lives,

479
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: and like it lets you kind of just be human

480
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 1: for a moment. Yes, sex is an actual human need,

481
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 1: so I mean it could be a release. I think also,

482
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: like it depends on where you are with your partner.

483
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 1: But like for me, especially if like we're both running, running, running, running,

484
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: running around, like we're just not having a lot of

485
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,959
Speaker 1: time together, it could be a really special night if

486
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 1: we take an hour, you know what I mean, you're

487
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,479
Speaker 1: like take a bath, or we do things that are

488
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: like peaceful together, and then it's like more of a

489
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 1: connecting thing, and then you want to have sex. Like

490
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 1: if you're literally just like running around and not giving

491
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: each other any attention or any time, why would you

492
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 1: like unless you're saying like what you're saying about like

493
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: you just want to like fuck, basically you don't want

494
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: to do it. Yeah, But I also think too, it's

495
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: like when you're letting life sort of dictate that you

496
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: are becoming more and more disconnected with your partner. So

497
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 1: it can be a very intentional way to reconnect. Um

498
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: that's said. Um it shouldn't like it should never feel

499
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 1: like you're just doing it as a chore, right, you know,

500
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: it's like you're if you're not in the mood, like,

501
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: but it does like effort effort. I just think you

502
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: can't fully get lazy or else. Sometimes your relationship is

503
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: going to really suffer. Depends on how long term it is.

504
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: But like life, especially if you have kids, is just

505
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: pretty like busy all the time, stressful all the time,

506
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 1: and then you just throw on a pandemic, you know,

507
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: it's like the icing on the top of the cake.

508
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 1: It was that little candle on the top of the cake,

509
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: on the cupcake. It's one of those candles that doesn't blow,

510
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 1: never fucking blows out. You just keep blowing and blowing

511
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: and blowing. It just doesn't blow out. I had one

512
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: of those for my birthday this year, and I was like,

513
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 1: that's bidding funny ha ha I roll um, Okay, this

514
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: one's a little heavy. But I feel like we only

515
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: heavy because it's like a little bit of a taboo

516
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: topic for people to talk about. So I definitely feel

517
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: like we should talk about it. But it says how

518
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 1: do you date people with hs V one HSV two

519
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: so herpies. Basically, I would love to know how this

520
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 1: works for others. I was diagnosed almost two years ago

521
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 1: from a part or. I have not had sexual intercourse

522
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: since I have found out about HSP two. I just

523
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 1: feel dirty. I don't want to have to explain myself

524
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 1: to others, or I just feel the rejection. I told

525
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 1: a male friend about me having it, and he said

526
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: it's no big deal, that there's just ways to ways

527
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 1: to look around. But I just see it as disgusting.

528
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 1: I think she means work around it, but I just

529
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 1: see it as discussing in rejection because you know, you

530
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: need to tell others before having sex. Help. I would

531
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: also love also like you do not she wants to

532
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:41,479
Speaker 1: be anonymous. UM, go ahead, Well look, I've I think

533
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: it's just important to be honest, like I did. I

534
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: actually did a little bit of research on this, because, UM,

535
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: I'm certainly not a sexpert, nor am i um a

536
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: medical expert. Sure, UM, it is incredibly common. There's two

537
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: types of herpes. There's hs V one and two. One

538
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: is oral, one is genital um and you can actually

539
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: even have one in your genitals, but UM two is

540
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: more likely to cause a flare upper an infection, so

541
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: they're both extremely contagious. UM, I forget. The percentage of

542
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: people that have one is like around the world. It

543
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: was like s of people in the world between the

544
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: under the age of fifty. I say, wow, like that

545
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: because it is such a thing that no one talks about.

546
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 1: Of the people of people between fifteen and twenty nine

547
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 1: have HSV two, I mean that's almost a half a

548
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: billion people, So it's it's fairly common. Um, it's you know,

549
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: it is extremely transmissible and I mean contagious. Isn't the

550
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,479
Speaker 1: word transmissible even if you're not showing something you're asymptomatic. UM.

551
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 1: But obviously I think the more can do to protect

552
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: yourself and your partner, the better. UM, and just be honest. Uh.

553
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: You might even find that people have it. By being

554
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: honest with somebody, I would recommend UM. I mean it's

555
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: a weird thing to put in dating profiles, but people

556
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: that have HIV, like they put that their positive UM

557
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: in dating profiles. I mean, in fact, I think it's UM.

558
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: There's legal consequences to that, because HIV is a death sentence,

559
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: but by not being honest, there are consequences. But I

560
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 1: don't think it's just you know, I don't know this

561
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: person's name and we shouldn't share it anyway. But I

562
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: don't think it's any reason to feel disgusting. I don't

563
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,959
Speaker 1: think you're alone in this. I think there's a lot

564
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: of people that have it UM. I do think it's

565
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 1: just really important to be safe because it's it can

566
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 1: cause other issues UM with some other sexually transmitted diseases.

567
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: So I think it's important to make sure that your

568
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: partners are safe. But it's don't feel disgusting, like this

569
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: is not an uncommon Well, that's what I was going

570
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 1: to talk about because I think this, I mean, I

571
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: think any sort of STD is like no one wants that.

572
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: So of course you beat yourself up, you're like doing

573
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 1: all the things. But like, the bigger thing here is

574
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: to know that you're lovable, regardless of anything in our lives,

575
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 1: like you as you are just lovable and so like

576
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 1: I think we can say those kind of messages to ourselves,

577
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: and really the thing to work on is us loving

578
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 1: ourselves and knowing that like rejection from another person, like

579
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: if a person rejected you for that reason, I and

580
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: that's their right, but that doesn't make you not lovable

581
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: and and disgusting, you know. That was what I read

582
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: in that message a lot, and like I hate that

583
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: someone would feel that way. And two years is a

584
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: long time to go without even you know, considering it

585
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: because of that, So I would just my thought would

586
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 1: be to work on the internal stuff first, and you

587
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: so that when you do put yourself back out there,

588
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: if someone decides that's not for them, you don't take

589
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 1: it personal and it's just okay, on to the next

590
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: um okay. So to finish up for this week. I

591
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: wanted to give a little note from last week. Why

592
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 1: does porn come up now every week? I just started

593
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: reading and I was like, wait, okay, this is actually

594
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: there was a question we got about porn that I

595
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 1: actually feel like needs um an expert advice. And so

596
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: we're going to try to get one of the local

597
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: Nashville sex therapists on to interview them about this question

598
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 1: because I feel like it's a much bigger topic than

599
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: Chip and I could dive into. And I actually don't

600
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: know the answer, Like I don't. It's about what is

601
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: healthy with porn and um does everyone watch it? And

602
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: you know all of those things, And so we're gonna

603
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: get some full answers for that. But this comes from

604
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: UM someone from last week, Danielle, and she said, listen

605
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 1: to the podcast, loved it. What I didn't add I

606
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 1: guess she had sent me another message, but I didn't

607
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 1: add out of embarrassment. So I'm glad other women brought

608
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: it up. Is porn? I'm with you on the fakeness

609
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 1: of fakeness part. If I'm why male or female porn?

610
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: I tend to go for amateur because it seems more

611
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 1: authentic lesbian porn is okay, but frankly, gay porn is

612
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: my thing. I don't think it has to be test

613
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: to do with being gay specifically, maybe because I find

614
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: the men tend to be more vocal and communicative, communicative

615
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: than in any other types of porn. I think it

616
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,479
Speaker 1: also helps that you can physically see when both men

617
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 1: are aroused and therefore feels less staged. I can't wait

618
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 1: to hear the next talk about this. I felt like shame,

619
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: and I've felt shame in this and felt like it's

620
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: a weird kink. And I've never told anyone, you know,

621
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 1: saving lives here on that casual chick one porn. I

622
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 1: just think, I actually, I'm happy that you guys are

623
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: feeling this like no shame thing, and though we're not

624
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: out here being like go dude, whatever the funk you want,

625
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: like still be good people and but but do whatever

626
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: you want me. Yeah, your relationships, and I look, I

627
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 1: think that, um, it's so important to remember that, like

628
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: what makes you unique is what's actually special about you totally.

629
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: You uh, embrace your weirdness, embrace like your kinks, embrace

630
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: like the freaky side. It doesn't mean you have to

631
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: like wear it on your sleeve so everyone knows. Like

632
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 1: part of what makes you don't have to put it

633
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: on the podcast, you don't have to like talk to

634
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:25,399
Speaker 1: it about with your parents either. But um, that's kind

635
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 1: of what makes something sexy too, is that it's secret.

636
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,879
Speaker 1: You know, there's something really arousing about that, but lean

637
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 1: into it. I think like the thing that I would

638
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 1: take out of that is the way the two things

639
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:43,320
Speaker 1: you described were communicative and more assertive, and so it's like, Okay,

640
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: are you actually even attracted to what's happening with the

641
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: guys or are you just like enjoying that? And maybe

642
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: that's something you can take and go, Okay, I want

643
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: to be more communicative. Why is that word so hard

644
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 1: to say? I want to be more assertive because that

645
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: really turns me on. Like if you actually ask yourself

646
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 1: what it is are drawn to, maybe you'll get some

647
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: answers instead of going, oh my god, why do I

648
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: like this or whatever, and then you can bring it

649
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 1: into your own actual sex life. You know, thank you.

650
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:17,240
Speaker 1: I'm really just becoming Oh my god, have online school

651
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: for sex therapy online? I don't know, it doesn't really

652
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 1: seem like something although everything is online these days. This

653
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: is what we should do with our COVID if we

654
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 1: were actually still in quarantine and not like both just

655
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 1: so exhausted right now, this would be what we should do.

656
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,919
Speaker 1: Become sexperts for real. I'm just gonna go have sex

657
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 1: and report back. There you go, I won't. I know.

658
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 1: I told you you really got to get to this

659
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: pulling a heavy load here. Okay, Well that's all for

660
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: this week, you guys. Keep the questions coming. You can

661
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 1: email us at at casual at velvets edge dot com

662
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 1: or slide into my d M S at velvet Edge,

663
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: chip is at chip DOORSH. Spell that for us, I

664
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: P d O R s H. You even said that sexual.

665
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: I could not because I sound like I say F,

666
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 1: so I have to like say S. That's us on Instagram.

667
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 1: Go follow us. Keep the messages coming. We love to

668
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 1: talk to you guys and communicate. Oh we're still We've

669
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 1: got to get on cameo. That's been the new I

670
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: did get some messages about it. So we're thinking about

671
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:29,320
Speaker 1: answering sex questions or things like that. We're saying embarrassing

672
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: things to your friends. We can say like dirty things

673
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: to people's parents. Oh my god. Let us break news

674
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: to your parents, like, well, we'll help you come out

675
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: to the break up with your boyfriends and girlfriends. You

676
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: share bad news, oh my god, I'm gonna start crying,

677
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: like way too email for that. He'll be upset and

678
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I know, I'm so sorry. I'm like,

679
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: do you want me to try to make it work

680
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: for you? Guys, like all of a sudden, trying to

681
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 1: solve all these broken relationships. That's so what I would

682
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: do anyway. Messages with your ideas on our instagrams or

683
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: the at casual at velvete dot com, and we're gonna

684
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: get on cameo as soon as we find a window

685
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 1: to do that. All right, in the meantime, thank you

686
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 1: guys for listening, and always remember Casually by