Speaker 1: Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy, Start Up,
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys, start Up Up, They Making Noise Up start
Speaker 1: Up Up.
Speaker 2: Episode three twenty three, The Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Hey, what's up?
Speaker 2: David Brody? What's up? Scary Jones? How are you feeling?
Speaker 2: I'm not good? Yeah. So in case you guys slices,
Speaker 2: if you've been wondering where the episode is, a lot
Speaker 2: of people have, Yeah, today's Wednesday. We are officially a
Speaker 2: week late on the episode. Yeah, I have been six
Speaker 2: since Wednesday. Of luck, it's a week already. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: were about to get on last week and you know,
Speaker 2: reenactment of what happened. As we were about to sign on,
Speaker 2: the music came on and Brodie was like, what there
Speaker 2: it is and I'm like okay, and then we cut
Speaker 2: it and we should have. We should have actually issued
Speaker 2: that as the podcast. So then that would give the
Speaker 2: reason why we didn't issue a podcast. But we try.
Speaker 2: It's our new spinoff podcast, cough Time. We got it. Hi,
Speaker 2: Oh we got it. We did get in there. Uh
Speaker 2: but uh, we tried, but we failed. But you feel
Speaker 2: you look better, We'll call it cough Time. I got
Speaker 2: a cough on the left. Y'all got a cough on
Speaker 2: the right, y'all got a cough got everybody wrote the song.
Speaker 2: Very few, very few people know that song. Yeah, great song,
Speaker 2: great song. How many people know White Lines that we
Speaker 2: did slice time exactly? Not many. It's not about the
Speaker 2: original song, it's about how great the parody sounds. This
Speaker 2: is true. So let's get the people know. You don't
Speaker 2: think people know the song set it off more than
Speaker 2: White Lines. I think White Lines a little more. But anyway,
Speaker 2: it's all eighties free style stuff and yeah, let's let's so.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you're doing well. You look great, your your
Speaker 2: complexion is back, uh sort of, and uh, but you're
Speaker 2: still gonna to push it and go play pickleball. I
Speaker 2: don't understand. You tried playing pickleball Monday and somebody says
Speaker 2: to me, god, you look pale. I go, that's because
Speaker 2: I'm a jew, right, like no, no, like paler than normal.
Speaker 2: So I said, oh yeah, and I uh he was, oh,
Speaker 2: no problem, I'm fine, I'm gonna try it. And I said,
Speaker 2: scary of well. Podcast Monday night after I come back
Speaker 2: for pickleball, He's like, guy, i's no problem. Yeah. Uh again,
Speaker 2: I got up to like three points and pickleball, and
Speaker 2: I started going. The cold air was rushing in my
Speaker 2: lungs like baby I was. I was in Beverly Hills
Speaker 2: because I was weezer. Well yeah, so yeah, but uh
Speaker 2: and oh, let's get the eight hundred pound gorilla out
Speaker 2: of the room. What's stretch that? Happy birthday? Happy Berry's down,
Speaker 2: Scary's down a seven hundred and eighty pounds. Yea hioh, Well,
Speaker 2: happy birthday, that's what I wanted to show. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: David Brody's birthday. Everybody, Well, not yet, but by the
Speaker 2: time you hear this, it'll be David Brodie's birthday. And
Speaker 2: the story come on, depends on when you hear this.
Speaker 2: You may hear it six months from me. You gonna
Speaker 2: hear it on Thursday. Most people listen to day after
Speaker 2: we issue it. So here we are, happy birthday. Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. I just uh, I appreciate all the
Speaker 2: thank yous in advance. It's fine, get any presents. You
Speaker 2: announcing my birthday was the greatest present of all. Wow,
Speaker 2: all right, it's not my birthday yet. You can't say
Speaker 2: it's my birthday already because people are going to listen
Speaker 2: to this in three days or four days or a
Speaker 2: week in my life as we record this, it's not
Speaker 2: my birthday yet, so you're not even in the birthday
Speaker 2: frame of mind. Even though it's six hours birthday frame
Speaker 2: of mind six seven hours away. It's not six or
Speaker 2: seven hours away. It's seven and twenty minutes. Yeah the
Speaker 2: love seven hours. No, I'm not I'm not in the
Speaker 2: h I'm not in the frame of mind. Okay, not yet.
Speaker 2: All right, we'll get this. I've been sick. I've been sick.
Speaker 2: To me, it's like a week ago like this. This
Speaker 2: whole week's been a blur of me in bed most
Speaker 2: of the day and staying away from people and coughing
Speaker 2: and wheezing. And so you have plans for the weekend
Speaker 2: at least birthday, big birthday weekend coming up? A pickleball,
Speaker 2: maybe pickleball? All right, No, I got it's been so popular.
Speaker 2: I didn't get in this weekend. Oh I'm on the
Speaker 2: wait list. Yeah, I don't know what my plans are.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I got dinner, I got dinner, plants
Speaker 2: on my birthday, obviously, duh. But I don't I don't
Speaker 2: know what I'm doing this weekend. Because I'm not excited
Speaker 2: about my birthday coming up. That's my birthdays on a
Speaker 2: Thursday and mine's on Monday. So I I gotta tell you,
Speaker 2: not really looking forward to it. I don't I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't really care. Yeah, well, I guess your problem
Speaker 2: is that you're you're on this diet planned, which, by
Speaker 2: the way, I'm looking at you, guys, if you haven't
Speaker 2: seen Scary Jones on social media, ron, I'm looking at
Speaker 2: him in a webcam. He's looking good. Thank you. You're
Speaker 2: not my duff anymore looking he's looking spelt well sort of.
Speaker 2: I'm only halfway there. Go ahead, finish it. There you go.
Speaker 2: I knew you living on a prayer, living on you know,
Speaker 2: not living on a prayer, living on boil chicken and
Speaker 2: no oil or butter. So rockley. Yeah. So it'll eventually,
Speaker 2: you know, I'll make it another hopefully fifteen twenty pounds,
Speaker 2: and then we'll call it a day, and then I'll
Speaker 2: you know, start all over again. And then you know,
Speaker 2: people are asking me, why don't you try it? Why
Speaker 2: don't you just keep it off this time? Like it's
Speaker 2: that easy. I said it to you. Yeah, I know
Speaker 2: what everybody does. Everybody says it to me, but they
Speaker 2: don't ask what I see. I know you better, and
Speaker 2: I know the plan better. What I said the scary
Speaker 2: was first, I said, Scary, you have such willpower, because
Speaker 2: when when I lose weight, it's very difficult. I have to,
Speaker 2: you know, but I don't. I don't go on this
Speaker 2: hardcore crash diet. I just start eating sensibly, smaller portions,
Speaker 2: not snacking, and I lose the weight a little slower
Speaker 2: than Scary does. But what Scary does? It takes so
Speaker 2: much willpower? Is it? Scary? You have this willpower? Why
Speaker 2: not when you become third quarter scary like you sometimes do?
Speaker 2: Why not do another couple of weeks of detox in
Speaker 2: the summer. I could, and scar and Scary says to me, oh,
Speaker 2: I could, mentally, but dude, I'm gonna be at the
Speaker 2: beach and at rooftop bars and on vacation. I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't not eat right now. It's the winter. I
Speaker 2: don't give a ship. I got it so right exactly,
Speaker 2: now's the time to do this stuff. So then I said, Scary,
Speaker 2: how about this? How about just you pick like one
Speaker 2: or two days a week that you eat this way
Speaker 2: and then five days a week, like the weekend, Thursday
Speaker 2: and Monday, or Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and and and Wednesday.
Speaker 2: You eat like a pig, not like a pig, but
Speaker 2: like you normally do, like give on like a gov
Speaker 2: on then and said, if you if you eat healthy
Speaker 2: just two days a week, you might be able to
Speaker 2: keep off most of the weight and it might be
Speaker 2: good for your heart and your and your cholesterol in
Speaker 2: your heart. He's like, you know what, that's not that's
Speaker 2: not a bad idea. I don't know. I don't know,
Speaker 2: so I I I admire scary now. But you know
Speaker 2: he loves he loves those restaurants. Yeah, I really do.
Speaker 2: It's my way of communication. I mean, that's how I
Speaker 2: communicate with people is through food and drink. So that
Speaker 2: that's that's my social life. That's my world, right. You know.
Speaker 2: He goes up his girlfriend on Friday and he's like, hey, Robin,
Speaker 2: this weekend. H yeah, we played our dinner for Saturday night.
Speaker 2: We play on a Sunday brunch Italian food. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: I'll come out and see you. All right. It's it's
Speaker 2: gotten so bad. My girlfriend does he want to see me?
Speaker 2: She's literally took took took a knee on hanging out
Speaker 2: last week. Yeah, I said, Scary calls me on Saturday night.
Speaker 2: I said, scary, what's wrong? He's like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: I go, Skar's scary. It's a Saturday night. What are
Speaker 2: you doing? Whatever? There's everything okay, He's like, yeah, man,
Speaker 2: I'm just chilling. What do you mean you're chilling this?
Speaker 2: Uh well, Robin's doing dry January, so we can't drink
Speaker 2: and I'm not eating, so she doesn't want to see me.
Speaker 2: I go, scary, there's not you don't want to cuddle,
Speaker 2: you don't want to like watch them. Eh no, there's
Speaker 2: no food, no drink. He's out. It's because, if you
Speaker 2: think about it, I don't want to put her through this.
Speaker 2: Why she's not she doesn't have to lose weight. Look
Speaker 2: at her. You can see right through her when when
Speaker 2: she well, no, she's perfann she's no, she's she's very
Speaker 2: healthy and and uh you know the week before I'm
Speaker 2: like cooking all healthy for us, and I'm like, you know,
Speaker 2: she's going along with the program because she doesn't one
Speaker 2: insult me. And I cooked made dinner for both of us,
Speaker 2: and she was like money. It's very crazy. Ross. Sweet,
Speaker 2: I'll let you come over and we'll have some Broccolian
Speaker 2: carrots and a nice cold glass of water. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 2: be right over. Yeah. So yeah, yeah. The Scary Jones
Speaker 2: calls you on a Saturday, you know something's wrong. So right,
Speaker 2: So there's combine that with football Sunday, watching the two
Speaker 2: games of who's going, you know, to decide who's going
Speaker 2: to the super Bowl. There was no way she was
Speaker 2: hanging out. She fucking detests football. She can't stand watching football.
Speaker 2: There's nothing that interests her. Lettuce so sold you say
Speaker 2: nothing that interests her lettuce less? Oh you said lettuce
Speaker 2: let us that's what I'm having for dinner. With having
Speaker 2: lettuce wraps with Scary is having lettuce on a bed
Speaker 2: of lettuce. No, I'm having Buffalo Buffalo Soldier. Not not
Speaker 2: Buffalo tenders or Buffalo Chicken. I'm having a Buffalo Buffalo
Speaker 2: bills else had them the Chiefs? Did they? Sure? Did
Speaker 2: they ate their lunch? God, I'm so pissed about that.
Speaker 2: Don't complain about the refs. Score fifty points like the
Speaker 2: Eagles did, So don't let it come down to one
Speaker 2: one call by a ref and it's by the way,
Speaker 2: it's it's it's It's absolutely impossible to rig an NFL game.
Speaker 2: It's the most bet on sport in the world. Stop it. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's not it's not rigged. It's just stupid by the
Speaker 2: call by the refs. You know, whyn't they just check
Speaker 2: that out again? Like I don't understand who made that
Speaker 2: final Okay, you know you know, you know who didn't
Speaker 2: complain about the spot of the first down that Josh
Speaker 2: Allen didn't get. You know who didn't complain about chis
Speaker 2: no the Bills. The Bills, Oh, the Bills. The Bills
Speaker 2: could have thrown a challenge flag and challenged the spot
Speaker 2: of the ball. And then what they did on fourth
Speaker 2: down was they ran the Toush push to the left side,
Speaker 2: which is all they did all game. Toush push to
Speaker 2: the left side, Tousch push to the left sid. I
Speaker 2: would have killed them to hand the ball off to
Speaker 2: James Cook, who's one of the best running backs in
Speaker 2: football and do something a little different. So don't please,
Speaker 2: I don't overdo the non football fans, all right, but
Speaker 2: stop whining about the refs. The Eagles went out and
Speaker 2: scored fifty points against the Commanders. That's how you win
Speaker 2: a playoff game. Won go to the World Series. Fucking score,
Speaker 2: and don't blame the fucking refs. You know, didn't you know?
Speaker 2: He didn't blame the refs. The Bills didn't blame. Bills
Speaker 2: didn't blame But yet everybody's crying about, oh thee the
Speaker 2: poor Bills. The Bills didn't didn't throw a penalty flag.
Speaker 2: The Bills didn't complain about it, then filed a grievance
Speaker 2: with the league. So all right, all right, all right, hey,
Speaker 2: speaking of football, when the Eagles went listen, the Eagles
Speaker 2: fans have a reputation of being brutal. And I've been
Speaker 2: to a lot of Eagles football games. Oh, don't forget
Speaker 2: last year at this time, I went to see the
Speaker 2: Giants play the Eagles with Giants jerseys in their territory,
Speaker 2: and it well, did you see the video going around
Speaker 2: of the redskin fan who was leaving the playoff game
Speaker 2: and then he was surrounded by Eagles fans walking to
Speaker 2: the parking lot. No, they took his hat, they took
Speaker 2: his redskins. Well that's not I want to talk about
Speaker 2: something that's that's sad. And also ironic and I'm not
Speaker 2: making fun one of the things they do in Philly,
Speaker 2: And I don't know why. Like you, you want your
Speaker 2: team to win, you're excited, I get it. They burn
Speaker 2: the city down. Well not this time. Don't. First of all,
Speaker 2: don't fire guns in the air. There was video of
Speaker 2: a guy saw that shooting the gun. Stop it. You
Speaker 2: know what happens to bullets that get shot in the air,
Speaker 2: They come down. People have been killed by bullets that
Speaker 2: fall back down to earth. Stop it. Uh that That's
Speaker 2: been a public service announcement from David Brody the Brooklyn
Speaker 2: Boys podcast. All but the big thing in Philly, and
Speaker 2: I don't know why this is, is they climb the
Speaker 2: flight poles, the lamp poles, right, So in Philly they
Speaker 2: grease them. Yep, they grease them. But instead of that
Speaker 2: being a deterrent, it becomes a challenge. But he's knuckleheads.
Speaker 2: Oh they're gonna grease the Paul for my safety. Fuck that,
Speaker 2: I'm going up to poul anyway. Well, a kid, yes,
Speaker 2: a kid Sunday, I guess during the game or after
Speaker 2: the game. Eighteen year old kid goes to went to
Speaker 2: Temple University from Canada, not even a Philadelphia area guy. Now,
Speaker 2: like got he grew up an Eagles fan. He's a
Speaker 2: gymnast for a temple gymnastics team, and he figured, you
Speaker 2: know what, I'm a gymnast. I got this. He got this.
Speaker 2: So he climbs the pole, he slips off the pole
Speaker 2: and falls. Now I have to assume he was inebriated,
Speaker 2: because again he's a gymnast. Did he bend his way
Speaker 2: and land? Uh no, he's dead awful. This is said
Speaker 2: horrible way to go to commercials. My point is, be
Speaker 2: safe when you celebrate for the Super Bowl. We don't
Speaker 2: want to lose anybody. Right. If you hate the Chiefs
Speaker 2: and they lose and you're like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 2: going out and I'm gonna climb a flag pole or a lamp, put,
Speaker 2: don't do that. We love you. Be safe. I feel
Speaker 2: terrible for the kid and his family. But he wasn't
Speaker 2: even an Eagles fan. That's the worst part. He just
Speaker 2: wanted to prove a point. But yeah, so as we
Speaker 2: go to commercials, H scare who you're rooting for in
Speaker 2: the Super Bowl. This kills me. Gus a Giants, a
Speaker 2: Giants fan. I want to I want to I want
Speaker 2: to root for the Chiefs because I'm a Giants fan,
Speaker 2: but you can roof because I'm a Saquon guy, because
Speaker 2: he was from the Giants and now he's on the Eagles,
Speaker 2: and because I hate the Chiefs even more than the Eagles,
Speaker 2: and I don't want to see the three peete I
Speaker 2: think it's it's it. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have to root for the Eagles. So if you're a
Speaker 2: Giants fan and you're like, what I mean, actually, I don't.
Speaker 2: This is there's no winning for me and and Giants
Speaker 2: fans and you we all know that. But I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have to eat crow eat bird eagle, all right? What
Speaker 2: about you? Well, I like the Eagles, and the Eagles
Speaker 2: owner Jeffrey Lauria is the founder of the Ronald McDonald
Speaker 2: House Charities. All right, where I as a camp counselor,
Speaker 2: and he did a lot of goods, got a lot
Speaker 2: of good work in Philly at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.
Speaker 2: On the other hand, Patrick Mahomes, his father, pitched for
Speaker 2: the Mets Okay at a time when Mahomes was was
Speaker 2: an eight to twelve twelve year old boy. Mahomes grew
Speaker 2: up a Mets fan. This pictures him online running in
Speaker 2: the outfield with the Mets. He wears a Mets jersey
Speaker 2: all the time. That's not a strong enough connection for me.
Speaker 2: The dB hold on, he's a Mets fan, and I
Speaker 2: gotta respect that, you know, I happened to I like
Speaker 2: the team. I like Andy Reid. I think I think
Speaker 2: the way they ran him out of Philadelphia, he was
Speaker 2: the longest, I think the most for you all are
Speaker 2: You're going to say the Chiefs, But no, I'm saying
Speaker 2: it's very tough for me. I haven't said, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: think of it this way. The Eagles versus Tailor Swift fans. No.
Speaker 2: I like Taylor Swift though her fans are my daughters.
Speaker 2: So what are you saying, oh and so is a
Speaker 2: bad example. I don't know. I feel like that would
Speaker 2: make more people. I think it's scary. You're the problem.
Speaker 2: It's you. I'm the problem. It's and Brody. I gotta say,
Speaker 2: you're gonna make one more football reference. You can make
Speaker 2: it football reference. Oh you want to continue the football references?
Speaker 2: You said if the Chiefs win will be the first
Speaker 2: time in the in NFL history, that is a three
Speaker 2: p three. Now, the three peat is a great word,
Speaker 2: right because it's repeat, but three peat correct, So three
Speaker 2: times over the history of that word. I do not
Speaker 2: a guy named Pete.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: No. The Los Angeles Lakers, who at that point were
Speaker 2: being coached by Pat Riley, were going for their third
Speaker 2: consecutive NBA championship and head coach pat Riley came up
Speaker 2: with the name the word three pete, trade marked it,
Speaker 2: trademarked it, and he gets money every time it's used.
Speaker 2: He owns it. Yeah, I love that, believe that's correct.
Speaker 2: So how about that he invented a great word we
Speaker 2: think is like, oh, it's an obvious word, of course. Yeah. Repeat.
Speaker 2: Does that mean we owe him money for this podcast
Speaker 2: right now? Because we don't. We don't. But like if
Speaker 2: shirts are printed officially, like if they if the NFL
Speaker 2: prints three peat shirts, I believe he gets money for that. Wow.
Speaker 2: He's now the president of the Miami Heat. He doesn't
Speaker 2: coach anymore, but it was his word. He came up
Speaker 2: with the word, I believe, and if the Heat win
Speaker 2: a couple of times, they could be a Heat peat
Speaker 2: and he can trademark that or a three peat. Three
Speaker 2: Pete I'm sorry, that's all right. Listen. I was going
Speaker 2: down a rabbit hole as I often do on TikTok,
Speaker 2: were you're that hungry for the rabbit? And I'm kind
Speaker 2: of upset because I realize now it was an old
Speaker 2: video and this place doesn't exist anymore. But do you
Speaker 2: remember a place or ever hearing about a place called
Speaker 2: Karen's Diner. There's a place that was. Is that where
Speaker 2: everybody goes in? As for the manager, No, it's a
Speaker 2: bunch of Karen's that work there. So I was watching
Speaker 2: a family play a joke on Grandma. They took Grandma
Speaker 2: to Karen's Diner. It's an Australian and UK kind of
Speaker 2: chain establishment, and as soon as they walk in, like then,
Speaker 2: they start cursing at the grandmother. They're like, hey, let's
Speaker 2: show you your table. Oh, you want your menus? And
Speaker 2: they drop them on the floor and they make the
Speaker 2: family pick up the menus, and the grandmother's beside herself
Speaker 2: like and someone's taping her, like what the fuck's going on?
Speaker 2: They didn't let Granny in on the joke that they
Speaker 2: that you're there for the uh, you know, a side
Speaker 2: order of you know, as a nasty yeah, rudeness, arrogance. Stick, Yeah,
Speaker 2: the stick. So, like you know, obviously places like Dick's
Speaker 2: Last Resort they do that or member Cravty Country Club
Speaker 2: a cheap beer and lousy food, warm beer and lousy food. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was a place in our old neighborhood on next
Speaker 2: in bay Ridge, the neighborhood over Crazy Go and it'd
Speaker 2: be a guy who looked like Uncle Fester from the
Speaker 2: Iris family there and they would like pick one of
Speaker 2: your group out. You go with a group and they
Speaker 2: were like making it out of a dog bawl yeah,
Speaker 2: and be belligerent, nasty y you. Yeah. So so Karen's
Speaker 2: Diner has since closed. I think at twenty twenty three
Speaker 2: they closed and now they do some pop ups. So
Speaker 2: I was obviously watching an old video. But there aren't places.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, okay, Dick's Last Resort I believe does that,
Speaker 2: and Krabby Dix is the other place that people have
Speaker 2: been saying. But I, for whatever reason, have this fascination
Speaker 2: with wanting to go there. Is that weird of me,
Speaker 2: like I want to go and be like demean like
Speaker 2: demeaned and like remember that time I went to Wiener's
Speaker 2: Circle in Chicago, the place where I think we talked
Speaker 2: about it on this podcast in one of the earlier
Speaker 2: episodes where they literally start cursing at you and just
Speaker 2: the nastiest, rudest service ordering hot dogs. Does a hot
Speaker 2: dog stand in Chicago? Oh yeah, yeah, yep, Wiener Circle.
Speaker 2: Apparently they still are like that, and you know they
Speaker 2: pride themselves on that for whatever reason. I'm kind of
Speaker 2: upset that Karen's dying or closed and now I got
Speaker 2: to find a Dick's last resort because I want to
Speaker 2: go there have a meal, and for me, it would
Speaker 2: be entertaining to sit there and just take it. I
Speaker 2: want to And and I was telling Elvis in the
Speaker 2: Morning Show this and they were like, well, that says
Speaker 2: a lot about you, you know. Yeah, you're like one
Speaker 2: of those guys that pays women to walk on their
Speaker 2: back with stilettos. Yeah, they're saying, it's like a kink
Speaker 2: on you. It's like a kink you need to be dominated?
Speaker 2: Is that a king of Nothing wrong with that, I mean,
Speaker 2: it's it's I guess it's defined as a kink. But
Speaker 2: if if you need to be shipped on, not literally
Speaker 2: or abused, maybe that's why you know, you enjoy when
Speaker 2: Elvis yells at you. Sometimes I want to sit there
Speaker 2: and take it. He probably knows you like it. And
Speaker 2: by the way, he doesn't yell at you. He just
Speaker 2: kind of like, yeah, teases you. But maybe you like that.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like I want to go
Speaker 2: to a restaurant like this and just sit there and enjoy.
Speaker 2: For me, what would be entertaining if people want something
Speaker 2: like your dad yelling at you a lot as a cad?
Speaker 2: You know, well, that's the Does this harken back to
Speaker 2: a time in my youth? Is this something? Is this
Speaker 2: like a psychology money? Stupid Anthony? I don't need an
Speaker 2: electric garbage pail in my kitchen. Get out of here.
Speaker 2: He's stupid. Where's doctor Phil? I mean? Why is it
Speaker 2: that I crazy to see what doctor Phil is? Yes?
Speaker 2: I did, I saw Doctor Phil is. I love But
Speaker 2: we talk about it. I just quickly landed doctor Phil. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we'll talk about it later. Yeah. So, But but I
Speaker 2: just want to know why is it that I have this?
Speaker 2: And maybe maybe you don't. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2: Would you? How would you? David Brodie in The Dick's
Speaker 2: Last Resort or Karen's Diner. What would how would how
Speaker 2: would it go down? I don't think you would take it.
Speaker 2: I think you would bark back at them and you
Speaker 2: would take it personally because I wouldn't. I would go
Speaker 2: as as an as a challenge assignment to outdo them,
Speaker 2: or I would go there to get like a get
Speaker 2: a job to do it like for the day, like hey, hey,
Speaker 2: can I work here for a day for free? And
Speaker 2: I would like abuse people. That would be a great
Speaker 2: job for me. I think that. I think that staff
Speaker 2: loves working those places because they get to a steam
Speaker 2: whole day. Yeah. But to go there and be like
Speaker 2: verbally abused by somebody, I don't That's not what I
Speaker 2: would look for in life. Now, if a comedian did
Speaker 2: it at a comedy club, they were very clever, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, like if I went with my wife to
Speaker 2: a comedy club and they're like making fun of the
Speaker 2: fact that she's better looking than me, you know, they'd
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, I get that. Yeah, But if I
Speaker 2: go to a comedy club and the guy's like, you know, hey,
Speaker 2: you're fucking ugly, that's not clever to me. So if
Speaker 2: I went to this one of these places and they're like,
Speaker 2: you know, insulting me. It wasn't clever, and I found
Speaker 2: it to be accurate. I don't think I would enjoy that,
Speaker 2: but I feel like you would be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: my nose is a little bitger than normal. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm not saying.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: As an example, we got a text mess she just
Speaker 2: said they went to one of these places. I don't
Speaker 2: know if it was Krabby Dick's or Dick's last resort,
Speaker 2: and he, you know, he said that, you know, he
Speaker 2: was with his boyfriend or whatever the case, and they
Speaker 2: they gave the hat that said free parking and rear
Speaker 2: No but you know, yeah, that's insulting, Like, you know,
Speaker 2: did you take that personally? I think if he laughed,
Speaker 2: found it hilarious. I think if two gay men go
Speaker 2: to a place like that, I think they're they're going
Speaker 2: knowing they're gonna get shit for going there, and they
Speaker 2: get right picked on a little bit. I think that's
Speaker 2: what you expect. Yeah yeah, But for whatever reason, I
Speaker 2: feel like you and I need a road trip to
Speaker 2: Dick's last resort. I don't know where the nearest one is.
Speaker 2: I have heard the nearest remember Lisa Lampinelli, our friend,
Speaker 2: the comedian, of course you remember her. Yeah, she was
Speaker 2: an insult comic. Her whole shtick was insulting people. So
Speaker 2: she would insult you based on your race or ethnicity, whatever,
Speaker 2: and then she'd come on our show and she'd call
Speaker 2: you a terrorist because you look like you were Middle
Speaker 2: Eastern and must saying that's her accurate, but that's what
Speaker 2: she'd say. And she'd she'd call Elvis' names for being gay, whatever,
Speaker 2: and then people would call up them like, hey, I'm
Speaker 2: Puerto Rican, insult me, insult me like they wanted, like
Speaker 2: hey I'm I'm Indian and Chinese? What do you got?
Speaker 2: What do you got? Right? So she would insult people, right,
Speaker 2: but she was doing an equal opportunity not to be hurtful,
Speaker 2: and people were enjoying it. If you're in the mindset
Speaker 2: to enjoy it, that's great. But ever every uh Indian
Speaker 2: person she insulted on the phone who want to be insulted.
Speaker 2: I'm sure there were Indian people listening who were offended
Speaker 2: by it and didn't want to be insulted. But if
Speaker 2: you're going into it, go to those place. Yes, if
Speaker 2: you're voluntarily like going into these restaurants. You know what
Speaker 2: you're gonna get side? If I would run, I don't
Speaker 2: know if i'd run there so fast unless it was
Speaker 2: for like a bachelor party for you, where I knew
Speaker 2: you'd be the target. I want a side of SaaS, please,
Speaker 2: we gotta go. You should sit to one meal with
Speaker 2: me there, and it would be hysterical. I think it would.
Speaker 2: Are you inviting me to a meal? Yeah, you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get your steak dinner there? How about that? No, No,
Speaker 2: that it's okay. I don't need I don't need a
Speaker 2: rubber steak. I don't go to a steak dinner. It
Speaker 2: was it was a sirloin burger. Come on. I don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll figure something out, but I would love something out.
Speaker 2: I would love to go to Dick's. You know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying, Hey, maybe you can get some Zeman on
Speaker 2: your face and then go there. The zaman of the injection,
Speaker 2: the injection or whatever. Yeah, that's my botops injection that
Speaker 2: I got that one time, which, as you could see,
Speaker 2: looks like they need to stick me with a second dose.
Speaker 2: The wrinkles that come you know what, while you're getting
Speaker 2: wrinkles you're losing weight, so the fat and your forehead's gone.
Speaker 2: That's not keeping you tight anymore. Oh that's what's going on. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I gotta fill it back up again. I gotta get weight.
Speaker 2: You're getting loose skin. Yeah, that's right. You get loose
Speaker 2: skin now from the that's why you get wrinkles, loose skin,
Speaker 2: loose skin. Did mornings on that rock station in that
Speaker 2: loose is loose skin and the boarded el skin for
Speaker 2: you locals. So you just you just hit yourself on
Speaker 2: the microphone. I just hit my I hit my nose
Speaker 2: on the mic. I don't know how that happen. I'm
Speaker 2: just scary bent down for a second after I made
Speaker 2: my comment and he went, bo't right like that. I said,
Speaker 2: your nose is big. I said, that's gonna I got
Speaker 2: a Roman nose, and it's yeah, yeah, you're doing the Romans. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I get it. I get it. Hey. I saw on
Speaker 2: Facebook a guy said he was hoping with the Jets
Speaker 2: hiring a new head coach. He says, maybe we'll finally
Speaker 2: see a light at the end of the rainbow. What
Speaker 2: that's not, that's not the expression. It's a light at
Speaker 2: the end of the tunnel. Or a pot of goal
Speaker 2: at the end of the rainbow. So he can, yeah,
Speaker 2: he can. This will be our light at the end
Speaker 2: of the rainbow. You know, that wasn't the stupidest thing
Speaker 2: I heard all week, though it was. It was the
Speaker 2: Philly mayor trying to spell eagle. Should we play that
Speaker 2: for them? And you have the audio, I'm sure. Let
Speaker 2: me set up while you're looking. Let me set up
Speaker 2: while you're looking. So the Jets chant is jay E
Speaker 2: T S jets, Jets, jets. The eagles chant is the
Speaker 2: same exact chant. It's e A G L E S eagles,
Speaker 2: which some of you may have realized is the same chant.
Speaker 2: You have to be able to spell jets, which is
Speaker 2: only four letters, and then you say jets jet jets
Speaker 2: to make it seven, right, But the Eagles you have
Speaker 2: to you have to spell e A G L E
Speaker 2: S Eagles. Well, the mayor, so I saw one late
Speaker 2: night comedy show, I think it was Colbert. When they
Speaker 2: showed it, they put the letters on the screen as
Speaker 2: she was spelling it. Said it in night Live did
Speaker 2: it and didn't show the letters, so you couldn't follow
Speaker 2: along as easily. Have it. Scary Philly, he said, We've
Speaker 2: got to do this.
Speaker 1: Let me hear you all saying, he.
Speaker 2: E what E L C S E S l L
Speaker 2: excess lays el. They cracked me up. I'm sorry, where
Speaker 2: were we? I sidetracked us? How do you funk that up?
Speaker 2: It's yours, it's your town, simmy. You should be practicing
Speaker 2: that every week. But I'm sure we Okay, hold on,
Speaker 2: here's Ki's Kevin Hart doing a spoofie. Hold on, Oh,
Speaker 2: hold on up, you hear me. It's got time fresh
Speaker 2: off the bird to see the bird.
Speaker 3: You already know what it is, E A G L
Speaker 3: E S Eagles. If you want to spell it the
Speaker 3: other way, we can do it that too. Shout out
Speaker 3: to the mate of E L G L e A
Speaker 3: E B S Eagles. Okay, it's got tom baby bird.
Speaker 2: How do you fuck that up? Anyway? How do you
Speaker 2: not get re elected as the mayor of the city
Speaker 2: you spell the football team's name wrong. Yeah, I'm a
Speaker 2: big Eagles fan. You're in the middle of G L
Speaker 2: S E S And just like that, we're back on football.
Speaker 2: No what we we're talking about. You're in the middle
Speaker 2: of something. We were talking about the dumbest things we
Speaker 2: heard this week. Oh, that's right. Yeah, but before the
Speaker 2: light at the end of the rainbow. Light the light
Speaker 2: at the end of the rainbow, Okay, And then I
Speaker 2: saw a guy, white guy. He's talking about I think
Speaker 2: it was a sports show. I didn't get the audio,
Speaker 2: and he says, uh. He kept saying, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, but you know people like ya. I was
Speaker 2: down at the store and I was hungry, and I
Speaker 2: was blah blah blah. You know what I mean. This
Speaker 2: is what he said. You know what I mean. The
Speaker 2: guys want He says, uh, you know, I like the guy.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean. If you say I like
Speaker 2: the guy, where is the confusion in that I like
Speaker 2: the guy? You know what I mean? So you're you're
Speaker 2: pretty much right, because you really need to confirm and explain.
Speaker 2: There's some confusion there. I like the guy, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? Yeah, I know you mean you like
Speaker 2: the guy. It's too much, but you know what I means,
Speaker 2: save him for like at least three word sentences. You
Speaker 2: gotta take a break, you know what I mean? Five
Speaker 2: word sentences. I like the guy is four sods particular
Speaker 2: break Boys podcast. We will be right back. You take
Speaker 2: breaks just when I'm having fun. Why do you fight
Speaker 2: me on these things? You know, we have to do them,
Speaker 2: you know, But I'm here for the people as am I.
Speaker 2: But it's not my I'm just happen to be the
Speaker 2: one running the equipment. So I it's like, okay, I
Speaker 2: have to be referee and jump in there. Yeah, right,
Speaker 2: all right? Scary? Do you believe in being nice to
Speaker 2: strangers always? Because you never know who you get talking to?
Speaker 2: You never know, right, And if you have an opportunity
Speaker 2: to help a guy out or make your life lootle easier,
Speaker 2: you would you would do that always. So I had
Speaker 2: to go to one of the many post offices in
Speaker 2: my area, and one of them, you pull into the
Speaker 2: parking lot, and when you get out of the car,
Speaker 2: you have to walk along a path and then you
Speaker 2: go around a large bush. You make a left around
Speaker 2: the bush, you walk straight the bush, the hedge keeps
Speaker 2: going and then you make a left, and there's the
Speaker 2: door to the post office. So when you're getting out
Speaker 2: of your car, you cannot see the door to the
Speaker 2: post office because it's around the bush. Make a left, yep, Okay,
Speaker 2: So I'm pulling into the parking lot at the post
Speaker 2: office on Saturday, and oh, I want to say, it's
Speaker 2: one fifty nine. And the post offices in my area
Speaker 2: all close at different times, and I don't always remember
Speaker 2: which ones close at four on Saturday, which ones closed
Speaker 2: at five, one of them closes at noon. Whatever. I
Speaker 2: can't keep track all the times. All I know is
Speaker 2: I had a large box. I had a ship. So
Speaker 2: I'm going to the post office. So I got I
Speaker 2: get out of my car. I go to the side door,
Speaker 2: you know, the rear door. I get this giant box
Speaker 2: that I'm holding, you know, with both hands, and it's
Speaker 2: it's a little lower than my chin, but it's a
Speaker 2: big box, you know. And I'm walking and I'm walking
Speaker 2: along the make the turn by the bush, and I
Speaker 2: got to walk, you know, maybe ten feet along the
Speaker 2: bush before I make the left where I can see
Speaker 2: the doors. Okay, And a woman comes around the bush,
Speaker 2: customer just left the post office with what looks to
Speaker 2: be a small package in her hand. Uh huh. And
Speaker 2: she sees me, makes eye contact, walks by me, and
Speaker 2: I don't think anything of it. I keep walking. I
Speaker 2: make the left, I walk up to the doors, and
Speaker 2: I'm struggling to get the door opens. I got these
Speaker 2: this large box in my hand. Huh. And the door's
Speaker 2: going boom boom, door's not opening. Huh. And I look
Speaker 2: and it says we close at two o'clock. They closed
Speaker 2: it too. It was one fifty nine when I one
Speaker 2: fifty Saturday, I said it was Saturday. Was Saturday? Okay?
Speaker 2: So all right, So the woman with the small package
Speaker 2: in her hand already fucking knew the doors were locked.
Speaker 2: Has she yelled at you? No, the fact that she
Speaker 2: walked by me and didn't mention while I was carrying
Speaker 2: the large box by the way, sir, rather than walk
Speaker 2: up the path and make a left and then struggle
Speaker 2: open the doors, what you do? And she knew she
Speaker 2: had the knowledge, and she could have warned you and
Speaker 2: saved you all that grief and hey, hey, struggles they're closed,
Speaker 2: just so you know they're closed. Yeah, I would give
Speaker 2: them the courtesy. But wait a second, what if it was, uh,
Speaker 2: you know, one of those two way locks where walking out,
Speaker 2: she pressed pushes the door out and leaves. That's an
Speaker 2: interesting idea. But no, I go to that post office.
Speaker 2: It's a regular old door. Wait a second, she got handled,
Speaker 2: there's no flappity flaps. She got out, no go in.
Speaker 2: She knew the doors were locked, that's why she was
Speaker 2: holding her I thought, I'm so sorry she would I
Speaker 2: thought maybe she had just come from Look make an
Speaker 2: excuses for the lady. Well, I want to think. I
Speaker 2: want to believe that that people have your best interest
Speaker 2: at heart, and that I want in this world. Have
Speaker 2: you not been paying attention? I want to think about
Speaker 2: the the best, the good in this world, that good
Speaker 2: people out there. So I thought, maybe she was just
Speaker 2: walking out of the post office and the door was
Speaker 2: locked on the way in, but not on the way out,
Speaker 2: because you could walk out but not in. But you're
Speaker 2: telling me she clearly too got turned away because she
Speaker 2: had the package in her hand. You assumed that that
Speaker 2: was the case, and she didn't give you any warning either.
Speaker 2: When I walked past her and saw the package, I thought, maybe,
Speaker 2: all right, maybe she was there to pick up a package. Well,
Speaker 2: maybe she was, And maybe that's what I'm saying. How
Speaker 2: do you you're assuming she didn't get in. You didn't
Speaker 2: see her walk out of the place or walk You
Speaker 2: didn't see her walk up to the place. You only
Speaker 2: saw her halfway back to her car, So you don't
Speaker 2: know for a fact that she did that. She did
Speaker 2: get in or you know, didn't get in. So scary
Speaker 2: that the shrubs are not higher than I am. The
Speaker 2: bush and the shrubs block the door, but you could
Speaker 2: see if the door at the top of the door,
Speaker 2: you would see the door open. My point was the
Speaker 2: lights were already off in the post office. She knew.
Speaker 2: That was all I'm saying is she didn't give you
Speaker 2: the courtesy. She didn't give you the courtesy right. I
Speaker 2: went to a post office once, so the doors were closed.
Speaker 2: I went back down the steps, got in my car,
Speaker 2: and as I was leaving, I saw someone was pulling up.
Speaker 2: So I and I said, there was an old person
Speaker 2: in the car. So I waited. I rolled down my window.
Speaker 2: I waited from the stop, turned the engine off, rolled
Speaker 2: down the window. I excuse me, And I said, don't
Speaker 2: bother going up the steps, ma'am, because it was an
Speaker 2: old lady. And don't bother going up those steps because
Speaker 2: they're closed. You want to do that, I've seen you
Speaker 2: in action with that stuff. But to her polite to
Speaker 2: her defense, uh, you look shady. So I don't want
Speaker 2: to get involved. Box. Why would I would have had
Speaker 2: she had, she said, sir, the doors were closed, I
Speaker 2: would have dropped my box and assaulted her right there.
Speaker 2: That's that's the vibe people give what you one looking
Speaker 2: there like, I don't want to talk to this guy.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna get involved. I'm gonna ignore, says angry
Speaker 2: belligerent person than this face the post to the podcast.
Speaker 2: You're the poster child for that. Yeah, exactly. Well, let
Speaker 2: me give you another postal story. Can I give you
Speaker 2: another postal story unless you have something? I mean I
Speaker 2: have something, but we'll wait for No, it's just something
Speaker 2: a little bigger. Oh no, the bigger is better. You
Speaker 2: go with your bigger ones. Now one is a little thing. Look,
Speaker 2: give me a little thing. Okay, speaking of on the
Speaker 2: bing of my pants, I'll tell you a story about
Speaker 2: the bathroom experience. I'll tell your bathroom experience. I didn't
Speaker 2: get to tell you about last episode because it was
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago. Remember I told you I
Speaker 2: went to see an off Broadway show my friend Jeff.
Speaker 2: And it's in the village and it's this little old,
Speaker 2: like nineteen twenties theater, very old school like everything's like
Speaker 2: built from like in the thirties. It's old, it's old place.
Speaker 2: Well I went, I went to use the bathroom, and uh,
Speaker 2: I said, where's the excuse me, sir, where's the men's room?
Speaker 2: And the guy said it's right there. So I was, okay,
Speaker 2: it's right there. We were in the balcony and there
Speaker 2: was a concession stand and I went to the door.
Speaker 2: I went in the bathroom and it's an old bathroom,
Speaker 2: has like the radiators by the window and whatever. Has
Speaker 2: it got the urinal all the way down to the
Speaker 2: floor one of those? No, it didn't, it didn't. It
Speaker 2: didn't have the old urinals which I found. Uh uh
Speaker 2: uh it didn't. You know what it did have? It
Speaker 2: had one of the ur urinals, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 2: I don't remember if there were two, but I think
Speaker 2: it was for the ladies out there. Urinals are just
Speaker 2: usually these small, half sized things, and now the old
Speaker 2: school ones, old ones from your shoulders all the way
Speaker 2: down to the floor. It's crazy. It's like it's like
Speaker 2: a body size urinal, like a man sized urinal. And
Speaker 2: again I don't I gotta pronounce you. It's blurry. I
Speaker 2: didn't need to peace. I don't remember if it was
Speaker 2: a urinal or not. So I go in the stall,
Speaker 2: very nice stall, I do my business. I come back out.
Speaker 2: I'm washing my hands at the sink, and the other
Speaker 2: stall door opens. Oh, okay, do we have and a
Speaker 2: very pretty woman walks out. Uh who had just been
Speaker 2: in the stall? Okay, and she comes to wash your
Speaker 2: hands next to me. Now, I want to set the
Speaker 2: stage here. I'm sure anyone who listens this podcast knows
Speaker 2: I have no problem with women in the men's room
Speaker 2: because I've been to football games where women come into
Speaker 2: the men's room all the time. But it was weird
Speaker 2: because I was at a play, I was at a show,
Speaker 2: and you know, I'm washing my hand. It's just if
Speaker 2: you don't expect it, it's unusual. And I was like,
Speaker 2: and you know, because when you're in the bathroom, as
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know how women are in the
Speaker 2: bathroom by themselves. But the men are like, they're farting
Speaker 2: and making noises and they don't care. They're not like,
Speaker 2: they're not courtesy flushing, they're not trying to cover up
Speaker 2: the noise. They don't give it. They don't like whatever
Speaker 2: you hear all kinds of bathroom It was, yes, but
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that. Okay, if you don't know it
Speaker 2: in advance, but did you for a second they didn't
Speaker 2: have urinals there? Because they did not. Now I said,
Speaker 2: I don't remember the being Europe. They couldn't have been,
Speaker 2: because then it would have been an all men's bathroom
Speaker 2: because when it's well, it had to have been built
Speaker 2: at some point. My point is, there may be two
Speaker 2: bathrooms on the mezzanine level, right, but the one I
Speaker 2: went into used to be a women's bathroom. I'm assuming.
Speaker 2: I just don't remember if there were urinals there, or
Speaker 2: these individual doors that each door there's a toilet and
Speaker 2: a door, there's a door behind. So if someone's behind
Speaker 2: a stall, I mean really, I have no reason to
Speaker 2: care one way or another who's in the stall, male
Speaker 2: or female. As as a man, I'm saying this. I'm
Speaker 2: just saying it was weird to look over my shoulder,
Speaker 2: like normally expect some burly looking fact that to come
Speaker 2: out of their Yeah, who's like, ye, don't that shit up?
Speaker 2: You know, because that's what guys do in the bathroom.
Speaker 2: They like they awkwardly like brag about how they blew
Speaker 2: it up. And this woman came out and she's powdering
Speaker 2: her nose, and I'm like, well, this is refreshing. It's
Speaker 2: actually nice to see a pretty person in the bathroom
Speaker 2: as opposed to some big, fat guy who just blew
Speaker 2: it up. Yeah, so that's all. I just yeah, it
Speaker 2: was one of those stories. I was like, you know what,
Speaker 2: that was an interesting story. It was a pleasant change
Speaker 2: this And she said, you know what, she said to me.
Speaker 2: We showed me the bathroom, washed my hands. What you say, shit, hello,
Speaker 2: hi hello. She smiled and went and washed her hands.
Speaker 2: Other guys usually don't do that. They always go, they
Speaker 2: don't say hi, they just go fucking thing doesn't turn on.
Speaker 2: Oh I got a scambony for you. Oh this is
Speaker 2: fairly quick. You got the jingle let's get a bone.
Speaker 2: And this is something that's happened to me several times before.
Speaker 2: But also it was reminded. I was reminded because I
Speaker 2: saw it on TikTok. A guy don't ask you for
Speaker 2: train money. No, no, no, no, this is a scam.
Speaker 2: Dollars no, no no. A lot of places when you
Speaker 2: go to hotels and have sit down at the bar
Speaker 2: or a restaurant usually attached to a hotel or in
Speaker 2: a big tourist area, sure, specifically talking about South Beach, Miami,
Speaker 2: where they they include the gratuity in those bills. So
Speaker 2: if they they they jump, they put the twenty percent
Speaker 2: on there for you. Okay, So now I remember this
Speaker 2: happening quite a bit when I was in South Beach,
Speaker 2: and now I'm wondering if I fell for it a
Speaker 2: couple of times inadvertently. Whenever you get an answer is yes.
Speaker 2: Whenever you get the check, what are you The first
Speaker 2: thing you see is the itemized receipt. Then usually you
Speaker 2: give them your credit card and they take the whole
Speaker 2: thing away and they come back with your credit card.
Speaker 2: But if they don't include the itemized bill on the
Speaker 2: second go round, they've fucked you. They've scammed you because
Speaker 2: they had the twenty percent built in, which you would
Speaker 2: have seen on the itemized check. But now that it's
Speaker 2: not in front of you and you just see the
Speaker 2: total amount and then a gratuity line and your signature,
Speaker 2: because that's like the secondary receipt, you would be more
Speaker 2: prone and tricked into leaving a twenty percent gratuity because
Speaker 2: you just you're you know, the knee jerk reaction is
Speaker 2: what let me add twenty percent when you have already
Speaker 2: left a forty percent tip at that point, because you
Speaker 2: didn't you didn't realize that. In a lot of hotels, restaurants,
Speaker 2: and places that are touristy, the gratuity is built in
Speaker 2: and the only time it's listed is in the itemized
Speaker 2: receipt in the very beginning, and they'll say twenty percenttuity.
Speaker 2: So if you didn't notice it in round one, they
Speaker 2: take your card away, you sign it, they bring it
Speaker 2: back to you, you're kind of you're, you know, be
Speaker 2: suspicious if they don't give you the receipt back with
Speaker 2: the itemized copy again. A lot of times they'll just
Speaker 2: remove that itemized copy. So they're like, it's like the
Speaker 2: old bait and switch. Right. Well, you see, but you
Speaker 2: had to paint the proper picture of that one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: What you're saying is the warning that your tip is
Speaker 2: included is correct, and then they put a line in
Speaker 2: it that says additional tip. Right. You know who doesn't
Speaker 2: fall for that? David Brody doesn't fall for that, right,
Speaker 2: because David Brody looks immediately and knows that it if
Speaker 2: the tip is already added. Because I want to know
Speaker 2: I want to know, like, oh, is the eighteen to
Speaker 2: twenty percent already included? Is this why the service sucks
Speaker 2: because they know it's included already. Buyer beware if they
Speaker 2: don't include the itemized bill on the second go round,
Speaker 2: that means that means there's something something in the milk
Speaker 2: clean No, no, it's not that they don't take it.
Speaker 2: Guess what, But there's an opportunity to fuck you. You know,
Speaker 2: it's those it's one of those well, like you know,
Speaker 2: we won't tell them, but if it happens, it happens.
Speaker 2: But most bars in restaurants though, let me finish here,
Speaker 2: most bars and restaurants will give you. We'll keep it
Speaker 2: there for you. So you get you get two three copies,
Speaker 2: You get two and the third. Okay, there's no reason
Speaker 2: to take the itemized bill out unless you want to
Speaker 2: do something a little Yeah. Slices here here is here's
Speaker 2: your homework slices. If you've ever been a server and
Speaker 2: the tip was included and then somebody left the full
Speaker 2: tip not realizing it, what have you done? What would
Speaker 2: you do? Not tell them? And if you and if
Speaker 2: you weren't a server, what would you do if you
Speaker 2: were never been a server before. But let's say you are.
Speaker 2: You were the server here and you got a twenty
Speaker 2: three dollar tip, and then the personally went and put
Speaker 2: a twenty one dollar tip one because they clearly didn't
Speaker 2: realize it. Would you be like, wow, they must really
Speaker 2: like me. You're like, oh, they fucked up, but I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna tell them. Yeah, I hope there's some honest slices,
Speaker 2: but will so leave us your what your real thoughts are. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we're gonna have some different opinions of our slices. I
Speaker 2: also have to tell you about my cousin Carmine and
Speaker 2: what I am responsible for doing now And wait a minute,
Speaker 2: did you get this? Did you get his ashes? I
Speaker 2: got something to tell you in the slices, And it's
Speaker 2: it's hard for me to talk about, but easy for
Speaker 2: me to talk about in this podcast because we've gone
Speaker 2: down this road in this podcast. All right, very good
Speaker 2: and scary. But thefore the commercial break, did you insinuate
Speaker 2: that my cousin Carmine has passed away? Yeah? I think
Speaker 2: I could. Well. Which is the cousin That is the
Speaker 2: painter who died. That's my great uncle Gino oh gino
Speaker 2: them mind who could keep track slices of my right
Speaker 2: Italian name is Vinny Guido. I don't know. I thought
Speaker 2: you were talking about this is the one who has
Speaker 2: the members only jackets exactly. They all sound like they
Speaker 2: own pizzerias. I actually asked him. I asked because you
Speaker 2: mentioned his ashes. I'm like what wait a second. Yeah,
Speaker 2: But like I was like, oh, I got when I
Speaker 2: said it. I'm like, oh, I think he's dead. Well,
Speaker 2: so I no, my uh no, I'll say this. That's
Speaker 2: what the story is about. It's it's about preparing for
Speaker 2: his death. I mean, this morbid history of doing things
Speaker 2: that are I don't know. Well, yeah, the headstones with
Speaker 2: almost everybody's name on it, right, you remember when my
Speaker 2: parents got that a couple of years back, and you know,
Speaker 2: there's all this stuff to swirling around My aunt mill
Speaker 2: Remember my aunt Millie the Emil story with my She
Speaker 2: didn't we didn't tell her that her family member, yeah,
Speaker 2: that her sister in law is dead. So we just
Speaker 2: revealed it. We kept the ruse going for a while
Speaker 2: that she was still alive. And then she Emily came
Speaker 2: to Thanksgiving and we told her there at the table, like, oh,
Speaker 2: where's Jenny, Oh, she died. What I told you? I
Speaker 2: told you We lied to my my grandmother, right, yeah, yes,
Speaker 2: my aunt her daughter died and we didn't tell her
Speaker 2: because you know, medically they were told us like, oh,
Speaker 2: my grandmother had like six months to live, so we're like, well,
Speaker 2: don't tell her because you know why why upset her
Speaker 2: for six months? And then she lived for a couple
Speaker 2: of years. But to keep the lie going, why isn't
Speaker 2: my daughter calling me? So you know she the phone's
Speaker 2: not working?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: So all kidding aside for a quick second, and there'll
Speaker 2: be humor in this. You watch you wait and see
Speaker 2: awkward humor. My cousin Krmine called me and said, hey,
Speaker 2: look on the they all sound like they can own pizzias,
Speaker 2: all the genos, the Commines and Joe. So my uncle
Speaker 2: Joe and aunt Jenny both passed. Jenny was the one
Speaker 2: who we lied to my aunt Milli about. Joe and
Speaker 2: Jenny are the parents of Carmine. Okay, Carmine is a
Speaker 2: single guy and bachelor. Yeah, bachelor and uh. He basically
Speaker 2: came to me and said, yo, so I want you
Speaker 2: to be the man. I'm like, what do you mean
Speaker 2: to be? The man. Now, we were tight growing up.
Speaker 2: He's a huge Met fan. So we've seen some games together,
Speaker 2: we've gone, we we that's where we meet, that's our
Speaker 2: common ground, that's where that's where we are weird. And
Speaker 2: the bachelor thing, well, I guess so I But but
Speaker 2: for the you know, living well living, he lives lived
Speaker 2: at home. He still lives at home. He lives in
Speaker 2: the same house he grew up, in his same bedroom
Speaker 2: he had as a kid, and he never left the
Speaker 2: nest and now he's in the nest by himself. So
Speaker 2: being the closest person to him in my side of
Speaker 2: the family, he like, Yo, I want you to be
Speaker 2: the executor of my will. I want you to be
Speaker 2: power of attorney. I want you to Look, this is
Speaker 2: like heavy stuff, but he said, look, the thing is,
Speaker 2: I need you to come to the funeral home with
Speaker 2: me because everything's going to be set up. I don't
Speaker 2: want to have to pay one you have to pay
Speaker 2: a penny out of your pocket. I don't want anyone
Speaker 2: to think about it when I pass. I just want
Speaker 2: all the notes to be just you know, written, you know, unleashed,
Speaker 2: and everything is going to be written out and everything's
Speaker 2: gonna be paid for and it's all good, but I
Speaker 2: just need you to be there to like kind of
Speaker 2: facilitate things because someone has to be named. So I said, sure,
Speaker 2: Carl will come down. So I went with him to
Speaker 2: the funeral home a couple of days ago. This is wild,
Speaker 2: brody and weird, it is. And we're sitting there with
Speaker 2: the funeral director and we're talking about the future of
Speaker 2: you know, Carmine's future death and how it's going to
Speaker 2: play out, and you know the type of ceremony he wants,
Speaker 2: you know, does he want these mass cards and like
Speaker 2: the funeral directors holding up all this stuff, and you know,
Speaker 2: he picked out a casket. So so you know, I
Speaker 2: signed all the papers and I get through all of
Speaker 2: it with some jokes, and you know Carmine, you know,
Speaker 2: he's just like he's he's a barrel of laughs. He's
Speaker 2: I wish he would have come on the podcast. He
Speaker 2: didn't want to come on, but he said, yeah, I
Speaker 2: tell the story. So one ques at the very end, sorry, one,
Speaker 2: you get a discount for this stuff? Yeah? Do you
Speaker 2: get twenty twenty five pricing for Yeah, he lives on
Speaker 2: the twenty so and that's that's a public service to
Speaker 2: the slices. The the major advantage you have of doing
Speaker 2: all this. Here's your big win for listening. Here's the win.
Speaker 2: Here's it. You want Boggins, you want discounts, you want coupons. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm aware of this. Yeah. Plan at your funeral from front,
Speaker 2: in its entirety, from beginning to end, everything that would
Speaker 2: any cost that would affiliated with it. And you are
Speaker 2: locked in on prices for things for a lot of
Speaker 2: the stuff. So and it's going to be there for
Speaker 2: you in a separate fund. By the way, the funeral
Speaker 2: home doesn't hold it. It goes to like a funeral
Speaker 2: fund where you can choose to use the credit anywhere
Speaker 2: you want. But anyway, it's good and it's important to
Speaker 2: have your place put where your final resting place, maybe
Speaker 2: because you're locking in at twenty twenty five prices, and
Speaker 2: all these prices do is go up. In fact, he
Speaker 2: showed me like like my grandparents planned their stuff. My
Speaker 2: aunt Milly planned this stuff in the nineties, and we
Speaker 2: buried her two years ago, and we conceive the disparity
Speaker 2: of how much the price would have been if it
Speaker 2: was tim today's world. So it's Brody Brodie, this this guy,
Speaker 2: your name written all over login. Hey my aunt died,
Speaker 2: but boy did I save some money. So everything was
Speaker 2: going well up until after all the papers were signed
Speaker 2: and I got through it and we were laughing and whatever,
Speaker 2: and then the funeral director goes, well, so you want
Speaker 2: to pick out your your your casket? Oh god, I couldn't.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm looking at him, and he's like,
Speaker 2: he goes, yeah, what the hell? So he, the funeral director,
Speaker 2: takes the both of us downstairs to a room where
Speaker 2: all these it's like a showroom of caskets. I felt
Speaker 2: like I was in a a in a a car dealership.
Speaker 2: You know, You're walking around and he's seeing all the models.
Speaker 2: You've seen all the model caskets, and they're all all
Speaker 2: been of course, there's nothing in them. They're they're brand new,
Speaker 2: and they're He didn't. He didn't get in to see
Speaker 2: how they feel, right. He joked that he wanted to go.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you're not going in this now, No
Speaker 2: you're not. But you know, and he didn't. You have
Speaker 2: to understand calmine to really grasp the story, because this
Speaker 2: is the kind of guy he is. He just get
Speaker 2: this straight. This catch, this is this is a catch.
Speaker 2: How is he still single? Ladies, he's on the market.
Speaker 2: There's there's still timet time, his funeral is all paid
Speaker 2: up and ever mean he's paid for. You're sliding to
Speaker 2: a situation, you know. So he basically we went downstairs
Speaker 2: and he's kind of like, all right, so maybe this
Speaker 2: model here is they inexpensive by the way they arrange
Speaker 2: from like three thousand dollars to like you could spend
Speaker 2: like twenty five thirty thousand dollars maybe more on a casket,
Speaker 2: depending on if you want you know, uh, steel like
Speaker 2: stainless steel versus copper, or you want you want subwoofers
Speaker 2: and amps and they have extra speakers. Yeah, and he's
Speaker 2: like looking around, he goes, he goes, what the hell
Speaker 2: do I care? I mean, Dad, no one's gonna even
Speaker 2: say this damn thing. And I'm like, well, wait a
Speaker 2: second call. You know you are connected to the church.
Speaker 2: He still is. He does a lot for the church.
Speaker 2: I said, you can you get a church discount? No,
Speaker 2: I said, why do Why don't you you would think,
Speaker 2: but I said, you know, you do have a lot
Speaker 2: of these people from the church that may come see you,
Speaker 2: So maybe you want to you want something a little
Speaker 2: bit you know, has some like etched things on the side,
Speaker 2: because there's because there's all kinds of styles and each
Speaker 2: style has oh you know, you know it has like
Speaker 2: he could start to go fund the dead met maybe
Speaker 2: that could be like a new thing. So he settled
Speaker 2: on a nice, moderately priced casket, and I looked at
Speaker 2: him like, dude, what the hell are you might as
Speaker 2: well go out in style, bro, I'm like, you know,
Speaker 2: want to be the richest guy in the cemetery, Just
Speaker 2: you know, get one of the more expensive ones. So
Speaker 2: he got maybe he leaves you in the whale, dumb ass, dude,
Speaker 2: who's gonna get all Who's gonna get all his millions?
Speaker 2: I'm not thinking about that right now. He's got to
Speaker 2: sell that house someday. I'm not thinking about that right now.
Speaker 2: I have nephews, don't forget. I got nephews, I got cousins,
Speaker 2: we got people. You're an executour, I know. So all right,
Speaker 2: So anyway, nephews, we picked out something. I helped him
Speaker 2: pick out a moderately priced something that was kind of like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is this is respectable. Let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2: If the caskets were cars. You obviously didn't get the
Speaker 2: BMW of caskets, and you didn't. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: insult anyone who owns a cheap car, but you didn't
Speaker 2: get a cheap key is a very nice the logo
Speaker 2: is not kidding. Let's go from key to BMW. I'm
Speaker 2: kind of like at ah, I think he picked out
Speaker 2: the the the souped up Honda Accord. All right, well
Speaker 2: that's nice Toyota Camry. He wait, a fully loaded Toyota Camry.
Speaker 2: All right, but key is these days are more expensive
Speaker 2: than than the camera. Then it's a bed, all right.
Speaker 2: Then maybe it's maybe it's more maybe maybe it's a Lexus,
Speaker 2: Maybe it's a lect maybe maybe you know, maybe like yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: BMW is in the top of the line either, So
Speaker 2: it's like no, but I'm in this scenario. It is
Speaker 2: because you're a guy. You're a BMW guy. Yeah, well,
Speaker 2: you got a Dodge charger that you're saying anyway, I was,
Speaker 2: I kind of tell you it's no, it's made of
Speaker 2: like a stainless steel. It's it's like a yeah that
Speaker 2: would protected himself from the elements. Yeah, it's not. Yes, Next,
Speaker 2: levels no worms nice next level? Yeah that would so yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean I don't know how to feel about this,
Speaker 2: but like I in the moment, as awkward as it was,
Speaker 2: I got through it. But I don't know, man, this
Speaker 2: this is a lot for me to take on to
Speaker 2: just what kind of casket would you get? No, that's
Speaker 2: the whole point of this, Like, I don't I'm not
Speaker 2: thinking about this. Do you want to be? You want
Speaker 2: to be? But yeah, you want the tire package on
Speaker 2: the casket, But would you do that? Would you go
Speaker 2: around picking out your future your future home? If anyone,
Speaker 2: If anyone's listening, and I listen, I don't have plans
Speaker 2: on dying, but I got a knock on wood? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I like a nice cherry wood, nice dark wood? Or
Speaker 2: do I do like a baseball batwood? You know, like
Speaker 2: a like a lighter wood, like a you know, but
Speaker 2: I would I think a darker wood. I don't like blackwood. Okay,
Speaker 2: although the metal thing keeps the worms out kind of
Speaker 2: like that? Has any of the slices been through this?
Speaker 2: Oh a kiss casket. You're there with living people and
Speaker 2: you're picking out something for your future when you're not
Speaker 2: going to be living. But that I've had enough. I've
Speaker 2: had a hard time picking out caskets for people that
Speaker 2: are no longer here, right because you're like, because you're thinking,
Speaker 2: because there's I'll be honest with you, when you're picking
Speaker 2: out a casket for someone, that's because you didn't plan
Speaker 2: ahead on the casket right way. You're like, huh, what
Speaker 2: would they buy? Well, I know they were brugal, so
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, so I'm not going to go with you.
Speaker 2: I had myself, and no one's going to see it
Speaker 2: after five minutes. That's true. And it's done. Once it's
Speaker 2: in the ground, its permanent, so right, once you take
Speaker 2: all the pictures and video. But the process of you know,
Speaker 2: going through this, these motions, not doing that, not doing that.
Speaker 2: I meet the car shopping, I'm not going a funeral shop,
Speaker 2: right and and you know he was. He's right now,
Speaker 2: he's like perfectly fine, and he's walking around and he's
Speaker 2: doing his thing. He's like he's in his early sixties.
Speaker 2: But like I said, hopefully you don't have I said,
Speaker 2: hopefully you don't have to deal with this for like,
Speaker 2: you don't have to see this for like thirty years,
Speaker 2: you know, forty years, God willing but is he financing
Speaker 2: it or just payd cas No, just no, he's retired.
Speaker 2: He's good. But he did the whole thing. He's right
Speaker 2: right writing checks for them. So, and what happens if
Speaker 2: this funeral home goes away before again? It goes into
Speaker 2: a fund where you're see. That was what it was
Speaker 2: explained to me, and that's what that's questions. I had
Speaker 2: to understand that it goes to a fund that basically
Speaker 2: when at the time comes and I get a phone
Speaker 2: call to like, oh hey, buddy, you're up at bad here.
Speaker 2: What are we doing? I get to choose either stay
Speaker 2: with this place or go somewhere else because it's in it.
Speaker 2: It's in almost like escrow. What the escrow is for
Speaker 2: funeral Now, look, I'm not going to hit yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: knocking on wood. Do you have a backup? No, I'm no.
Speaker 2: I mean, like, if he lives to like one hundred
Speaker 2: and five, God forbid, something happens. I don't want to
Speaker 2: think about these things. This is really tough to talk
Speaker 2: about it right now, Jones, I'm stumbling my way through
Speaker 2: this conversation. Who would you pick Robin? You'd pick Robin
Speaker 2: right to be your executor of everything. Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2: Or no, someone has to be someone probably younger. No,
Speaker 2: it would have probably one of my nephews, next of kin.
Speaker 2: It can't be somebody that's on your timeline. Oh no,
Speaker 2: I guess it could. Well, it can be, but you know,
Speaker 2: you may have to redo the whole damn thing. So
Speaker 2: it may be null and void. So you're supposed to
Speaker 2: pick like a next null and voids your nephews. No,
Speaker 2: my nephews would be like like where Like I just
Speaker 2: I just asked you if your nephews were null and void.
Speaker 2: It was a joke, hyo to Italian to Italian nephews
Speaker 2: noll and void and void. But yeah, yeah, anyway, I
Speaker 2: don't know had he hold me ahead of time that
Speaker 2: we would be doing all of that, I probably would
Speaker 2: have been like maybees all the time. And so did
Speaker 2: you go looking at locations like plots and stuff? No,
Speaker 2: so you don't know where he's being buried. No, No,
Speaker 2: that's all said and done. That's all taken care of
Speaker 2: for him. Now he's part of his family's thing. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: oh all right, it's got chills? Are they multiplying? I listen, slice,
Speaker 2: So what do you think slices leave his talkbacks. How
Speaker 2: do you feel about that radio app behind the microphone
Speaker 2: button that moves around every time you update the app on?
Speaker 2: I think it's your phone. It's a red circle these days. Okay,
Speaker 2: all right, so yeah circle, let us know what you
Speaker 2: would you would have done? Is this a great move
Speaker 2: to save money? Or uh kind of creepy and weird?
Speaker 2: And would you do it for a friend or a
Speaker 2: family member? I don't know. Oh, I don't all right.
Speaker 2: I got a sound clip from this weekend's football game
Speaker 2: and uh it just it. I posted the video on
Speaker 2: Twitter and right away Shady jew Mobster was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, I heard that. I was like, podcast, so
Speaker 2: I have to play this because, uh it's Tony Romo
Speaker 2: and he's calling a play during the Bills Chiefs game.
Speaker 2: Although I guess it's technically the Chiefs Bills game, but
Speaker 2: it's involving the quarterback of the Bills. Hold on the second,
Speaker 2: Josh Allen on, you see to pretend fake? And you
Speaker 2: to lie here again, what kind of plays you see
Speaker 2: to pretend fake? And it's a pretend pretend fake that's
Speaker 2: like a does that make it real? That's redundant, right,
Speaker 2: it's no because a fake is a fake is a play.
Speaker 2: So it's a pretend to fake. No, but he actually
Speaker 2: did a fake. You can't pretend fake. He faked it. Oh,
Speaker 2: so faked the play he went through with was a fake. No,
Speaker 2: he fake fake fake to hand off. He faked hand off,
Speaker 2: the hand off and then ran the ball. But you
Speaker 2: can't have a pretend fake no, No, because how would
Speaker 2: you How would you do a pretend fake? Would you
Speaker 2: pretend to give him the ball, then not give him
Speaker 2: the ball, then give him the ball? Fake? Right? You can't.
Speaker 2: I can't pretend fake. Yeah. Yeah, so Tony Ramol, Sorry,
Speaker 2: we're done. Fake, We're done. Here is my big this
Speaker 2: will be the big finish for the for the podcast.
Speaker 2: But I need your help. I don't think I'm wrong here. So, uh,
Speaker 2: my friend Eric and I went to lunch from the
Speaker 2: It's Eric Nagel Show. Check it out if you have
Speaker 2: a chance. And he says, oh, let's try someplace new
Speaker 2: like He's like, I saw this place on Instagram. We
Speaker 2: should go. I said, okay, great, Well, let me let
Speaker 2: me check out the menu. They serve meats, meat, sandwiches,
Speaker 2: and known for Yeah, I said, let me check out
Speaker 2: the menu online and I'll see if there's something you
Speaker 2: know that I like and then we'll go. So I
Speaker 2: look and I go, okay, I want the two meat combo. Right,
Speaker 2: they have like strami and corn beef and turkey and
Speaker 2: something else a brisket, And I was like, you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get corn beefrom pistrami. Those are my two
Speaker 2: favorite of the hot meats. I'm gonna order a two
Speaker 2: meat combo. It's it's I know what the price is,
Speaker 2: sixteen ninety five. This way when I go, I don't
Speaker 2: have to like look at the menu. I'm ready to go.
Speaker 2: And by the way, if I was with you, I
Speaker 2: would have to get the three meat combo because I
Speaker 2: like pastrami, corn beef, and brisket. All it is like
Speaker 2: does brisket is like like a third cousin. Like brisket's
Speaker 2: like like brown meat, and it's like it's beefy tasting.
Speaker 2: The brisket is corned beef, except it's prepared differently, right,
Speaker 2: it's different corned beef. It's corned. The brisket is put
Speaker 2: in the oven. Right. Anyway, I like all three, but
Speaker 2: my favorite combo with like corn and it's on the menu.
Speaker 2: It's called the two meat Combo and it says pick
Speaker 2: two meats excellent, yep, okay. So we go and it's
Speaker 2: one of these places where you have to go up
Speaker 2: to the counter and order. So Eric says, I'll sit
Speaker 2: at the booth, you go up to the counter and order.
Speaker 2: All right. We've never been there before, and is it's
Speaker 2: a it's a working class kind of place, lunch pale,
Speaker 2: kind of crowd, right, and it's not that busy. So
Speaker 2: I go right up to the counter and there's a
Speaker 2: guy there behind the counter and he like the countertop
Speaker 2: is like you know, chin level, where like you can
Speaker 2: make eye contact with the guy. And you could see
Speaker 2: the cutting board. Uh right, you know you could see
Speaker 2: it's all glass. You can see the cutting board that
Speaker 2: right he stands in front of and he doesn't speak
Speaker 2: English tremendously well. He said, uh, what do you want?
Speaker 2: And I said, uh, I'll have the two meat combo here.
Speaker 2: Come on, yeah, I said, h the two meat combo.
Speaker 2: Oh buy? So I said, yeah, the two two. I
Speaker 2: hold up my fingers too. I go two meat combo
Speaker 2: corn beef and pistrami. So he slices the pistrami, and
Speaker 2: he puts that. He puts down two pieces of rye bread,
Speaker 2: and he starts slicing the pistrami and he gives me
Speaker 2: a little on a plate and I'm like, oh, little taste.
Speaker 2: That was so good, so good, scary, and and I said,
Speaker 2: you know, and corn beef, and he says, I'm both.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, of course I'm both has because
Speaker 2: he's you know, he's figures making me right, Okay. So
Speaker 2: I'm not really watching him, and I said, oh, I
Speaker 2: look to my left while he's making the sandwiches and
Speaker 2: and and is the people making the soup or at
Speaker 2: least doing like the side orders? So I said, so
Speaker 2: I'm like, should I get massa ball soup or I
Speaker 2: get a candish or something? I said, you know what,
Speaker 2: give me matz of ball soup. So I'm talking to
Speaker 2: the other people behind the counter and I'm not really
Speaker 2: watching what he's doing. And uh, he says, uh, what
Speaker 2: do you want on it? Mustard? I said, no Russian dressing.
Speaker 2: So I he takes the Russian dressing and I see it.
Speaker 2: I trust him, which is a little bizarre for some
Speaker 2: cornstra but each talking about a ruben comes with Russian
Speaker 2: dressing and samakrawt. You're going to tell a Jew how
Speaker 2: to eat corn beefstrangen, it's gotta be with mustard. But okay,
Speaker 2: it doesn't Russian dressing anyway, So I go and can
Speaker 2: you melt some Swiss on there? Okay? So whatever he's
Speaker 2: doing fair enough, I'm not paying not paying attention anyway.
Speaker 2: He didn't ask me if it was to stay it
Speaker 2: a go. And I see he's like he's wrapping up
Speaker 2: stuff and he throws it in the bag and he
Speaker 2: hands me the bag. So I'm like, uh, fuck it,
Speaker 2: you know, because it's he wrapped the sandwiches in that
Speaker 2: that tinfoily like metallic metal, not aluminum foil, but that
Speaker 2: standard sandwich to go rap where one side is white
Speaker 2: and the other side is the foil metal to keep right, okay,
Speaker 2: classic right. And he throws it, puts in the bag
Speaker 2: and whatever. So I get the food and and and uh,
Speaker 2: the soup comes up. I said, the soup's for here,
Speaker 2: I said, Uh, he goes, oh, it's sandwich to me here.
Speaker 2: I said, Now, don't worry about it. Don't wry about it,
Speaker 2: because I'm right, I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 2: to get into it. Just it's fine. So I take
Speaker 2: the bowl of soup in the plate and the bag,
Speaker 2: and I'm looking for someplace to pay. And I look
Speaker 2: to my right and it's like at the end of
Speaker 2: the counter. Connected to the end of the counter is
Speaker 2: like a half dome column and it's plexiglass where it
Speaker 2: looks like somebody might stand behind it. But there's no
Speaker 2: slot like to hand money. I don't see stickers like
Speaker 2: we accept credit cards. I don't say anything, so I'm like, God,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go sit down and I'll let Eric figure
Speaker 2: it out when he goes up to order. So I
Speaker 2: sit down and go Eric, Look, I don't know where
Speaker 2: to pay, so just when you go up there, when
Speaker 2: you pay, let me know and I'll go pay. So
Speaker 2: I sit down and I'm watching people and they're all
Speaker 2: ordering food at the counter at the at the countertop,
Speaker 2: getting the food and going to sit down. Sure I
Speaker 2: don't see anybody paying, and there's nobody there besides the
Speaker 2: guys in the cooks that don't speak English making the food.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I don't figure it out. So I
Speaker 2: eat my soup. It's pretty good, not too much, No dill,
Speaker 2: which was good. And I reach into the bag and
Speaker 2: I feel, I feel there's two things wrapped and they're heavy.
Speaker 2: So I take one out and I'm like, oh, he
Speaker 2: must have wrapped each half separately because they're so fucking big.
Speaker 2: He puts so much meat on it. So I open
Speaker 2: it up and it's it's a whole sandwich. So I go,
Speaker 2: it's weird. Oh boy. So I reach in the reach
Speaker 2: in the bag and I see there's another sandwich made.
Speaker 2: He made me two sandwiches. But what did you pay for?
Speaker 2: I haven't paid found anything. You're not listening. Oh pay?
Speaker 2: So Eric comes back and I said, Eric, did you pay? No?
Speaker 2: I don't know way to pay. There's no place to play.
Speaker 2: This is not a big restaurant. You walk in. There's
Speaker 2: like three booths on the left, a couple of tables
Speaker 2: on the right, and a counter in the back, like
Speaker 2: a Chinese takeout place. Not very big. Oh okay, I'm
Speaker 2: trying to picture it. Okay, all right. So we're eating,
Speaker 2: I'm like, holy shit, I got another huge ass sandwich here.
Speaker 2: First of all, I didn't order it. Second of all,
Speaker 2: I'm not paying another seventeen dollars plus tax for something
Speaker 2: I didn't order and I can't give it back. It's
Speaker 2: got Russian dressing on it. They can't take it back.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, well, I'll figure it out. I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm gonna do. Figure it out.
Speaker 2: So then I hear somebody say what do you pay here,
Speaker 2: as the guy the next table goes, I don't know.
Speaker 2: So nobody knew like how to pay. So some woman
Speaker 2: is coming by. There's no place to throw a garbage out.
Speaker 2: They don't have a garbage box, so she's sweeping the
Speaker 2: floor and she's picking up garbage off a couple of
Speaker 2: tables as people get up, and the guy says, excuse me,
Speaker 2: where do you pay? And by the way, there's a
Speaker 2: refrigerator where you walk over, get a can of soda, potato, salad,
Speaker 2: whatever you want. It's all there in this big refrigerator
Speaker 2: that suits you perfectly. You're very used to just opening
Speaker 2: up refrigerators and shut up, shut up. I grabbed free soda, okay,
Speaker 2: one time, stop it, okay, So I say he She goes, oh,
Speaker 2: I'll take the money. So I'm like, all right, well,
Speaker 2: I guess she's the one you pay. So she goes
Speaker 2: behind this call this little semi circle, and he goes,
Speaker 2: what did you have? And I hear him say I
Speaker 2: had this, this, and this, and she goes, okay, she
Speaker 2: takes his word for it, so then she goes back
Speaker 2: to sweeping. And then the other guy says, do people
Speaker 2: just walk out here all the time and don't pay?
Speaker 2: I don't think so she says, never seen it, And
Speaker 2: I'm thinking to myself, well, that's the whole point. You
Speaker 2: wouldn't have seen it, Like Eric and I could have
Speaker 2: gotten up and left. We didn't even see it yet.
Speaker 2: System at a place, and I would never leave. I've
Speaker 2: been to places like that where there's not even a
Speaker 2: sign that says, because it's understood, you're gonna order, you're
Speaker 2: gonna sit down, you're gonna eat, you can enjoy your meal,
Speaker 2: and then you settle up. Afterwards, you just stand up
Speaker 2: and you go over. That's what any decent human being
Speaker 2: would do. Yes, well, here comes the problem because you're indecent.
Speaker 2: No I'm not. I'm very decent, very honest and moral.
Speaker 2: When when something's right, it's right, and what's wrong it's wrong.
Speaker 2: So I go up, I say, excuse me, I need
Speaker 2: to pay for my food.
Speaker 4: What you have?
Speaker 2: So I said I had a Matza bowl soup bowl.
Speaker 2: She says, okay, she hits it in the register, and
Speaker 2: I said, I had a two meat combo with call
Speaker 2: me from a STRAWMI. So she says, you had two sandwiches.
Speaker 2: I said two meat combo. Yeah, but you said two.
Speaker 2: So I said, yeah, but on the website you call
Speaker 2: it a too meat combo. Yeah, but you said too,
Speaker 2: so I assumed you had too. You had one, I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: I ordered one. So she wrings here for one, and
Speaker 2: I sell about the can of soda and I paid
Speaker 2: twenty four dollars whatever it was right, And I go
Speaker 2: back and I sit down, and eric's what happened? I go. I.
Speaker 2: I told her what I ordered, Just what did you order?
Speaker 2: I ordered a two meat to meat combo. But when
Speaker 2: I said it to her, she also thought I meant
Speaker 2: two sandwiches, because she also didn't speak one hundred percent
Speaker 2: of mean while you're about to walk out with the
Speaker 2: sandwich you didn't pay for. Well, there's my question. If
Speaker 2: I tell her, now, hold on, if I tell I
Speaker 2: got a second sandwich, either, she's gonna ask me to
Speaker 2: pay for it, which I didn't order. She's gonna take
Speaker 2: it back. Hold on, She's gonna take it back and
Speaker 2: throw it away, which is which is a damn shame,
Speaker 2: or the cook's gonna get in trouble for giving me
Speaker 2: an extra sandwich. This is the only way everybody ends
Speaker 2: up happy. There's no way was she getting money from me.
Speaker 2: So the only way we knew what to believe me,
Speaker 2: we all assumed that that was definitely not. That's forego
Speaker 2: this podcast. Hold on show. I am a very honest person.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize I had a second sandwich. I already
Speaker 2: started eating first one, and I can't give the second
Speaker 2: one back. And by the way, just to clarify here,
Speaker 2: when I think two meat combo, I think the pastrami
Speaker 2: and the cornby. He didn't mistakenly do a sandwich of
Speaker 2: all pastrami and a sandwich of all cornby, right, No,
Speaker 2: he put half cornby fa pastrami on bolt. So I'm
Speaker 2: wondering where the translation of the two two meat combo
Speaker 2: I've gotten lost, especially since they did, I mean have
Speaker 2: a limited and they deal with the same items every day.
Speaker 2: All I could think of, remember that phone tap I
Speaker 2: did on that on that on that guy the twenty
Speaker 2: two pound twenty He wanted a twenty two pound turkey,
Speaker 2: and I called him and said, yeah, you're twenty two
Speaker 2: pounds turk. Okay. I I think now in retrospect, he
Speaker 2: may have thought, I said I want two meat combos. Ah,
Speaker 2: but on the menu it's actually called a two meat combo.
Speaker 2: It's if you're reading it en off the menu and
Speaker 2: you wanted two of them, I would have to say
Speaker 2: that you would have ordered to two meat common combo. Yeah,
Speaker 2: two two meat combos, right. But when I said it
Speaker 2: to her and him, they both took it as two
Speaker 2: meat combos. Oh shit, But it's on I checked the menu, ma'am.
Speaker 2: That happens every day at that place. I could already
Speaker 2: tell that happens every day. Well that don't call it
Speaker 2: a too meat combo, or ask me how many sandwiches
Speaker 2: I want, or just call it. Just call it the
Speaker 2: pastrami co you know, pastrami, corn beef comba. Call it that, right,
Speaker 2: call it right. But again, I went on the website
Speaker 2: the night before to check it, and it's called so
Speaker 2: slices number one. Would you have given the sandwich back
Speaker 2: the minute you realized there was two or would you
Speaker 2: have just paid for the second one, because he got
Speaker 2: the second one even though you didn't order it, and
Speaker 2: I'm not going to eat it for a couple of
Speaker 2: days now. I already had the one, you know, it
Speaker 2: was so big, scared, I had half of it and
Speaker 2: half of the first one. I ate to half of
Speaker 2: the second one today and the second one. I mean,
Speaker 2: I eat for two or three days. It's so friggin big,
Speaker 2: and it's very good. I think all right. Personally, I
Speaker 2: think you should have told her at the time of
Speaker 2: the ringing up of the bill. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: get him in trouble and I didn't want to pay.
Speaker 2: That's for you to decide, just to clear your conscience.
Speaker 2: I would say, my conscience is fine, Oh of course
Speaker 2: it is. But my conscience would have been, like, I
Speaker 2: can't lie to this woman because I am in possession
Speaker 2: of two sandwiches, one of the other one. Nope, she said,
Speaker 2: what did you order? I ordered ah to meat combo. Right, well,
Speaker 2: I would have say what did you have it? I
Speaker 2: would have I would have said, look, I ordered a
Speaker 2: to one to meat combo, but they handed me two sandwiches. Uh.
Speaker 2: And I would show her the second sandwich and and
Speaker 2: and say I'm not going to pay for this other sandwich,
Speaker 2: what would you like me to do with it? And
Speaker 2: then ask her what you would like her to do
Speaker 2: with it, and then leave it in her hands. What
Speaker 2: she because then at leaves were open to saying you
Speaker 2: know what, take it, and the alternative is you know what,
Speaker 2: I'll take it. So you didn't want to lose that
Speaker 2: free sandwich. No, No, that's what is. I didn't want
Speaker 2: to get charged for it. And I thought if I
Speaker 2: said I got two sandwiches, she'll go we'll have to
Speaker 2: charge you for it. I didn't want to get into
Speaker 2: an argument someone that doesn't speak fluent English. So then
Speaker 2: then then you would have given it back and said no,
Speaker 2: I didn't order this, so here take it. You're not
Speaker 2: charging me, and I would have walked out without the
Speaker 2: second sandwich. All right, that's an option, but you are
Speaker 2: You're like, no, well, I got to answ with you.
Speaker 2: The first one was so good, so good, I'll go back.
Speaker 2: I'll be a customer again, for sure. But I wasn't
Speaker 2: trying to take advantage. As much as I know you
Speaker 2: fell into it. It'll it just happened. It happened, and
Speaker 2: I fall into these things. Speaking of court, and before
Speaker 2: we get out of here, a couple of things, some housekeeping.
Speaker 2: First of all, I the Super Bowl is going to
Speaker 2: feature a reunion between Billy Crystal and who was when
Speaker 2: Harry met Sally. When Harry met Sally was was Meg Ryan?
Speaker 2: Meg Ryan? Right? So it's going to have them at
Speaker 2: CATS's Deli. Because I saw the behind the scenes, the
Speaker 2: shooting of the video of the of the commercial.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's is this a client of some kind of Nope, okay, nope, nope, nope,
Speaker 4: this is this is a travesty that's gonna unfold because
Speaker 4: if I'm gonna I'm gonna pay pointed now that we're
Speaker 4: going to be having this cover this argument on Super
Speaker 4: Bowl Monday.
Speaker 2: So in the filming of this commercial, Harry and Sally,
Speaker 2: the characters are sitting at the table at kats His
Speaker 2: Deli where it was originally filmed in the eighties, and
Speaker 2: that's where the classic conversation happened, where she was having
Speaker 2: an orgasm, and then the woman in the next table
Speaker 2: says the famous line, not neither of one, I'll have
Speaker 2: what she's having. That's the famous line, which by the way,
Speaker 2: is not uttered by neither of the two primary characters.
Speaker 2: It's a it's an old woman. Double negative, it's an
Speaker 2: old woman. I'm just trying to say, it's Rob Ryiner's mother,
Speaker 2: Rob Reiner's mother. In this case, it's Sydney Sweeney, right,
Speaker 2: she delivers the line. But here's the thing. He's eating
Speaker 2: a pastrami on rye. But you know what the product
Speaker 2: is that they're advertising. And what is clearly in the
Speaker 2: scent in the in the center of the table the
Speaker 2: whole reason for the commercial and who paid the bill
Speaker 2: for it? No, Helman's mayonnaise. Yeah, you don't put mayonnaise
Speaker 2: on anything, That's what I'm saying. So people are gonna
Speaker 2: the world is gonna see this commercial. Oh it's vomit.
Speaker 2: And two am sitting across from each other, you know,
Speaker 2: and he's he's literally eating a pastrami. I could see
Speaker 2: the pastrami on rye or cornby fun rye. I think
Speaker 2: it was pastrami mayonnaise. And and they're like, and then
Speaker 2: do the whole bit. Oh, we're back here at this place,
Speaker 2: and I'll have what she's having, I mean, and the
Speaker 2: Helman's mayonnaise. And by the first of all, kats Is
Speaker 2: does not from what I remember, put mayonnaise on the table,
Speaker 2: but on this specific table at Kats's Deli, there's a
Speaker 2: bottle of mayonnaise. There's no mustard or or catch are
Speaker 2: they implying a billy crystal? A Jewish man went to
Speaker 2: Kats's Delight, ordered a pistrami on rye and put mayonnaise
Speaker 2: on it. Okay, to be continued because they did show
Speaker 2: They didn't show the whole commercial in full. They showed
Speaker 2: outtakes and some scenes and I couldn't see what was
Speaker 2: on the sand At one point, the top of the
Speaker 2: sandwich came off and there was nothing. I didn't see
Speaker 2: anything on the sandwich. It was it was just a
Speaker 2: pstrong like like the top half of the bread. The
Speaker 2: rye for the top half fell off as he's talking
Speaker 2: and and there was nothing on there. So I can't
Speaker 2: accuse him of putting mayo on there. But talk about
Speaker 2: like wrong place, wrong time, or wrong product. There's will
Speaker 2: talk about this after the Super Bowl slices and why
Speaker 2: you start thinking about this? Okay? For me, mayonnaise on
Speaker 2: a pistrami sandwich is like, oh my god, how could
Speaker 2: you do that? Right? What is it that you eat?
Speaker 2: In your part of the country, your culture. Like if
Speaker 2: you're from the South and someone put ketchup on ribs,
Speaker 2: you'd vomit, right, Yeah, Like you can't put ketchup on
Speaker 2: barbecue ribs. Well, you live in Texas. There must be
Speaker 2: some like you. You can't put a garlic a holi
Speaker 2: on corn bread, Like there must be something where you go,
Speaker 2: oh no, you can't do that. Heleland Helman's spent a
Speaker 2: lot of money to be part of the Super Bowl
Speaker 2: and get these two actors back and Sydney Sweeney and
Speaker 2: to go to the original Catches Deli where it was
Speaker 2: filmed and do those lines and literally just just kind
Speaker 2: of wax nostalgic. But but I feel like their product
Speaker 2: is misplaced because you would not see I just don't
Speaker 2: think you see mayonnaise on a table in Kats's deli.
Speaker 2: You just don't. It's I mean, it's mustard and ketchup.
Speaker 2: You know. Maybe, you know, maybe if Heines wanted to
Speaker 2: do a bit, then maybe you gotta you know, or
Speaker 2: Gouldin's then now you got it. Now you got something there. Now,
Speaker 2: in all fairness, I did not see what Meg Ryan
Speaker 2: was eating. There was a sandwich there it didn't look
Speaker 2: like PASTRAMI say, she could be eating the mayo. Maybe
Speaker 2: that mayo. See here's the thing scary. If the mayo
Speaker 2: gave her the orgasm, which is why she's so good
Speaker 2: bullying the food. So a right, Maybe she put the
Speaker 2: mayo on a chicken salad sand sandwich. It was maybe
Speaker 2: it was turkey, I don't know, something with lettuce, but anyway,
Speaker 2: maybe it was something that what mayo is is permissible.
Speaker 2: That makes more sense now because she's the one having
Speaker 2: the orgasm. In Sydney Sweeney, we'd go, I'll have what
Speaker 2: she's having. Yeah, okay, now I feel better, But slices
Speaker 2: still tell us what you can't put that on that.
Speaker 2: Then if that's the case, then they were very smart
Speaker 2: to not make her eat corn beef because they're like
Speaker 2: America would be like were you kidding me? Well, not
Speaker 2: all parts of America. Some people put mayonnaise on everything.
Speaker 2: I want to hear about it. If you put mayonnaise
Speaker 2: on corn beef for prestrom listen, I noticed people who
Speaker 2: put corn beef on mayonnaise on roast beef sandwiches and
Speaker 2: ham sandwiches. Well to be continued, because I didn't see
Speaker 2: the Who commercial. I just saw the outtakes of it.
Speaker 2: And finally, and finally, we need a favor. If you've
Speaker 2: listened this far into the podcast, that you got all
Speaker 2: the way to the end, that means you are a
Speaker 2: true fan. You are a slice for life, and we
Speaker 2: appreciate you, okay so much so that we need our
Speaker 2: slice army to go to the iHeartRadio app and drop
Speaker 2: a review for your Brooklyn boys because we're at a
Speaker 2: four point six. On the Apple podcast we're four point eight,
Speaker 2: but our hometown homegrown app iHeartRadio, we are at a
Speaker 2: four point six. Now, I didn't go into depth. I
Speaker 2: didn't see any of the reviews. I'm asking you kindly.
Speaker 2: Brody's asking you if you could kindly drop a five,
Speaker 2: drop five stars for us, like you just had the
Speaker 2: uber ride of your life. Please. I don't think that's
Speaker 2: too much to ask for. The Yeah, I mean we gave,
Speaker 2: we gave, we gave Funeral Advice today free four point six?
Speaker 2: How the mighty have fallen on our hometown native app.
Speaker 2: Come on, and it's over five hundred reviews too that
Speaker 2: are on there, so you know you know what it is.
Speaker 2: We must get exposure from people that aren't Brooklyn Boys
Speaker 2: listeners and some of them don't get it. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: saved it till the end because I know the true
Speaker 2: warriors will go to battle for us, and we appreciate
Speaker 2: you for that. If you could maybe up until you
Speaker 2: set your Harry met Sally story by the way, you
Speaker 2: see the way they do the Harry met Sally where
Speaker 2: they're like, oh, they're so old now they're in their seventies. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we need hot young Sydney Sweeney to lean over. So
Speaker 2: like in the movie they had an old lady saying it,
Speaker 2: now they have a younger girl saying right, because it
Speaker 2: was right exactly. Yeah, the hot girl with the big boobs.
Speaker 2: Once Mayonnaise, that's that ship, seld.
Speaker 3: I go.
Speaker 2: Through the roof right now, So see as soon, boys, boys,