Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're black. We're back bread ambition, ambition, ambition.
Speaker 1: Hey marew how you doing girl?
Speaker 2: Hello, welcome to the farm. I'm I'm doing good. I'm
Speaker 2: just a working woman in America. My employer doesn't provide
Speaker 2: me a nice place to pump, so I got a
Speaker 2: pump on the are y'all. Oh, So if you hear
Speaker 2: little mechanisms in the background, just know that it is
Speaker 2: mother nature creating.
Speaker 1: I love that women be literally so dope that you
Speaker 1: produce your own food for the babies. You don't know why.
Speaker 2: And they questioned it, like last night, my in laws
Speaker 2: came because they've been helping out with the baby, and anyway,
Speaker 2: the conversation of how big he has gotten came up
Speaker 2: and what are you feeding him? You must be doing
Speaker 2: more than milk. I'm like, actually no, and you know,
Speaker 2: he's four months now. So people start trying to like
Speaker 2: test to see how I feel about solids. I'm like,
Speaker 2: do not try to tell me that, but just a
Speaker 2: little bit of oat milk and his bottle, the mill
Speaker 2: his bottle. Yeah, No, you can't give him water because
Speaker 2: he has a hiccups. Nope, you sure can't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because how do babies how old do babies have
Speaker 1: to be before they can get water?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean the advice is six months and beyond,
Speaker 2: but even no, no, even after six months, their primary
Speaker 2: their their liquid should be breast milk, I think, or
Speaker 2: like formula. Yeah. Yeah, And it's so funny because like
Speaker 2: I had a kid not that long ago, and even
Speaker 2: I'm just like reminding myself google it real quick. What
Speaker 2: is the women again? What can I feed him? And when?
Speaker 2: Because not me in the dark at like three am,
Speaker 2: stuffing an uncrustable down my gullet because I'm starving, because
Speaker 2: breastfeeding makes you hell hungry and thirsty. Yeah, holding an
Speaker 2: infant who I don't know yet has if a peanut
Speaker 2: allergy or not, and I'm just like I'm gonna eat
Speaker 2: this real fast. I'm trying not to touch you.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, because peanut allergies are not just ingested,
Speaker 1: it's like literally like in your like in the air.
Speaker 2: Okay, there's just so many ways to soild.
Speaker 1: I tell you, My sister, like she sent me this
Speaker 1: video and she was like, this is how I feel.
Speaker 1: It was this video of this woman describing being a
Speaker 1: working mom. She said, first shift is your actual job,
Speaker 1: which wears you all the way out and you are depleted.
Speaker 1: But oh no, no, there's second shift, which are your
Speaker 1: children or child And she said, so now you have
Speaker 1: to and she's like, second shift it's the most important shift. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: you're already depleted navigating taking on this job of like
Speaker 1: raising and did you eat? And then someone said, oh,
Speaker 1: you forgot about third shift if you're partnered, because you
Speaker 1: know they want to hug and dinner and you good.
Speaker 1: She was like, I I can't imagine first, second, and
Speaker 1: third shift every single day. I'm not gonna lie. I
Speaker 1: think one of the reasons why I delayed trying to
Speaker 1: start a family is because I taught preschool for so
Speaker 1: long and I could not imagine loving on the babies
Speaker 1: as much as I did, and then somehow going home
Speaker 1: and having anything left over. I can imagine it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you're kind of describing like I know,
Speaker 2: you said working moms. But my husband, you know, he
Speaker 2: has to he has such a long day because he's
Speaker 2: a communterer. He commutes to the city. And I think
Speaker 2: that in the first years of parenthood it's and you know,
Speaker 2: I put myself in the category too. We're pretty hard
Speaker 2: on dads. Making fun of them. You know, they don't
Speaker 2: do enough. And it's true because like, society has not
Speaker 2: prepared a lot of these men to be an equal partner,
Speaker 2: and it's up to us to beat it into them
Speaker 2: so the next generation can be different. Congrats to anyone
Speaker 2: who marries my boys, You're welcome. But anyway, but like,
Speaker 2: but I have to sit and acknowledge, like, you know,
Speaker 2: he gets such a short end of the stick. I'm
Speaker 2: an entrepreneur, you know, I work at home. I could
Speaker 2: take a quick nap if I need to. Enrique, he
Speaker 2: gets up at five thirty two, and usually Rio, my oldest,
Speaker 2: is sneaking into our bed around between one and three am.
Speaker 2: And he doesn't just come in and snuggle up, and like, oh,
Speaker 2: I just want to be next to mommy and daddy.
Speaker 2: He roasts my husband, like physically roasts him, like kicks him,
Speaker 2: and it's only him, not me. He leaves me alone.
Speaker 2: But I just hear them fighting like an old married
Speaker 2: couple over the sheets, over the pillow because he wants
Speaker 2: to have the same pillow. And then he's kicking daddy
Speaker 2: and I'm like and and Regue is livid. But it's
Speaker 2: a three year old. But he is such a little asshole.
Speaker 2: Why can I say that? Yeah, And like in kicking
Speaker 2: Enrique and he can't sleep and he's not feeling. We're
Speaker 2: both like sharing a cold right now. So I know
Speaker 2: at some point he went to the couch last night.
Speaker 2: But when I woke up, when I got up to
Speaker 2: get him up because he wasn't hearing his alarm, he
Speaker 2: was back in the bed, So I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2: They must have made up. But then he's got to
Speaker 2: commute an hour and a half to Manhattan do that
Speaker 2: work all day. He leaves at five thirty because he's
Speaker 2: been doing like this overtime because you know whatever, things
Speaker 2: are crazy, and then he'll get home six thirty seven,
Speaker 2: and then I'm like, hey, can you do you know?
Speaker 2: Can you do this?
Speaker 1: Da da dad?
Speaker 2: You know? And then he handles bedtime for Rio and
Speaker 2: maybe we talk to each other. We're like see yeah
Speaker 2: at like nine o'clock, back to school time, back to
Speaker 2: work time. For him, it's been really hard, like on
Speaker 2: a relationship. I'm just looking at him sometimes and I'm like, you, like,
Speaker 2: we married each other, you like you like me? Right?
Speaker 2: You like think about me? He's like, but we're both
Speaker 2: just in it, like you're just you know, and I
Speaker 2: think so, I yeah, I just want to acknowledge that
Speaker 2: he has got a really, really tough day and having
Speaker 2: help is essential, you know, and having his parents finally,
Speaker 2: but providing childcare, you know, has definitely helped. But yeah,
Speaker 2: we're I.
Speaker 1: Just did myself. The women like single moms, oh my god,
Speaker 1: Like what does that even mean? What does it mean?
Speaker 1: How does it mean?
Speaker 2: Well? And if you like just not having to do
Speaker 2: it alone, you know, it takes it really does. Find
Speaker 2: your village, make your village. Yeah, these day and age,
Speaker 2: you got to. I had to make my village. I
Speaker 2: don't have a bunch of family near here, so that
Speaker 2: has my neighbors. Like I've mentioned my neighbors before, but
Speaker 2: Auntie Lynn down the street has come many a morning
Speaker 2: to come watch the baby for me so I can take,
Speaker 2: you know, my eldest to daycare, just because you know,
Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't get lucky with him being awake,
Speaker 2: he was zonked out. I didn't make come up, you know.
Speaker 2: So my neighbors, family, friends, et cetera. There's just so much.
Speaker 1: It's like you're talking about just the physical components, you know,
Speaker 1: and we've of course you talked about the financial components,
Speaker 1: but there's like the emotional component. So I always feel
Speaker 1: so bad, like when I do something and I leave
Speaker 1: the kids in a worse state than how my sister
Speaker 1: found them, and I'm like, okay, by, So I'll give
Speaker 1: you an example. I went to like this toy store
Speaker 1: and like the kids. You know, every kid goes through
Speaker 1: your dinosaur phase where they love dinosaurs. So I was
Speaker 1: at the toy store and they had this big like
Speaker 1: t rex. It was like as tall as me, and
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, like making all the noises
Speaker 1: or whatever. So I had my friend with me and
Speaker 1: I told her, oh, record me walking up to it
Speaker 1: and petting it. So I said it to my sister
Speaker 1: so she could show the kids, like look at Auntie
Speaker 1: edto taming the t rex. This is q it goes well.
Speaker 1: So I can tell that Amelia Mimi, she is six,
Speaker 1: must have my sister's phone. So I sent the video
Speaker 1: and she she sent me a voice note because these
Speaker 1: kids don't do everything. She calls me Auntie Otto because
Speaker 1: my African name is Adoci. Auntie Otto, where are you?
Speaker 1: What is that? And I was like, it's a dinosaur.
Speaker 1: But not a real one, because she knows extinct and
Speaker 1: live and everything. I said, what kind of dinosaur do
Speaker 1: you think it is? She wrote back, t rex. That
Speaker 1: sounded great. I'm like, yeah, Auntieodo did a cool thing.
Speaker 1: I'm out here petting t rexes. Call my sisters just
Speaker 1: for a chit chat. I had noise in the background.
Speaker 1: A million and her are going back and forth because
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to eat dinner, you know, like because
Speaker 1: just why yeah, yes, and so I say, put me
Speaker 1: on speaker. Why did I do this? I said, Mimi,
Speaker 1: you know how you want to go see t Rex?
Speaker 1: You know the only kids who eat dinner can go
Speaker 1: see t Rex. Why did I say that? Mandy the
Speaker 1: howl that that girl released, I mean, oh, all her is?
Speaker 2: I mean, because she really didn't want to eat.
Speaker 1: And then she and then but she did want to
Speaker 1: see t Rex. So she was so upset.
Speaker 2: I was like, so now, because she knows it's impossible,
Speaker 2: she's never gonna eat, which means she's never gonna see
Speaker 2: the t rex, which means her world is destroyed. I
Speaker 2: why she being punished for not eating? I guess a
Speaker 2: good auntie to motivate her to eat.
Speaker 1: Karen was like, meanwhile, though you could tell seasoned mama
Speaker 1: versus like a because you know, a new bee. It's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what have you done?
Speaker 3: Here?
Speaker 1: Go care a girl?
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: Do you want to come by? She's a girl, should
Speaker 1: be all right anyway. So it's like, but there's a
Speaker 1: lot of noise in the background. She's like, that's my
Speaker 1: dramatic child.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: You know, but I just I felt so terrible, and
Speaker 1: I thought to myself, how do y'all manage it? Damn? Damn?
Speaker 1: You know, the temper tantrums that are they happy? Are
Speaker 1: they sad? Do they have friends at school? You know, like,
Speaker 1: are they adjusted? Did they sleep well? Are they the
Speaker 1: level of worry that comes with like having this little
Speaker 1: person that you need to take care of. Shot you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, no, for for real, it's just show up today.
Speaker 2: Does that mean? You know, it's just be real, let's
Speaker 2: be having one hundred Because that thought passes my mind
Speaker 2: every day and I have to do my whole exercise like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's a thought, it can't hurt me. It's a leaf
Speaker 2: floating down a stream. Just go to Dunkin Donuts and
Speaker 2: pretend that that thought didn't just like that's what they're
Speaker 2: you know, So yeah, it's fucking hard. Actually, you know what,
Speaker 2: I even go take a nap now that you've maybe
Speaker 2: said I did it again, just like I'm sorry. I
Speaker 2: don't want to nip slip on the on the podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm almost sadden.
Speaker 1: If you got to go to the video, you could
Speaker 1: have caught that.
Speaker 2: I'm just joking, did I It's not cute when they're
Speaker 2: all gorged and you don't want to know what it
Speaker 2: looks like after you pump.
Speaker 1: It's not cute. But I just think that, like sometimes
Speaker 1: when people talk about kids, they only it's not only
Speaker 1: so much of it just surrounds like how much would
Speaker 1: have cost me, which obviously a lot, but there are
Speaker 1: other things to consider, you know, Like I think about that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, as I've been dipping my baby tow into dating,
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm going to be forty four, and
Speaker 1: so that means the men in my range, the likelihood is,
Speaker 1: I would say eighty to ninety percent of them are
Speaker 1: going to have kids of different varying ages. And that's
Speaker 1: what I found, which that doesn't bother me, because girl,
Speaker 1: I'm about to be forty four, like even though you
Speaker 1: have to Superman exactly, but also too like a lot
Speaker 1: of them their kids are like in their twenties or
Speaker 1: you know, like ten left and twelve or above. So
Speaker 1: I've just been kind of asking mysel so how young
Speaker 1: is too young? Like there's definitely been people who are like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I've got like a two or three year old, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that seems pretty fresh, and also too,
Speaker 1: I just know how much energy you need to expend
Speaker 1: for that, and not that I'm like, well I want
Speaker 1: attention because it's not even that serious. It's really more
Speaker 1: so like honestly, your focus needs to be there. So
Speaker 1: I've just been navigating like what, you know, like what
Speaker 1: how young? So I'll give you the dep of this
Speaker 1: guy who's kind of like interested. Hopefully he doesn't listen.
Speaker 1: Hey he's got like he did used the surrogate to
Speaker 1: have a baby.
Speaker 2: And checking the pump. Sorry, that's right, he used.
Speaker 1: The surrogate to have a baby. And so his baby's
Speaker 1: really young, like you know, but intentionally so, but also
Speaker 1: very well off, has a nanny, you know. So then
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, then it's different, is it? So you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? So these are kind of things
Speaker 1: that have just kind of come up where it's not
Speaker 1: just the financial component. There's also this emotional opponent because
Speaker 1: if you have a chilli old that's really really young,
Speaker 1: I've just been thinking like, well, I don't want to
Speaker 1: take take away, you know. The preschool teacher in me
Speaker 1: is like, I want you to focus on the baby,
Speaker 1: and I have to worry about like me and like
Speaker 1: what I, you know, would like to do. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: if the baby's gonna need you, the baby has a cold,
Speaker 1: the baby has pink, I do that, you know. So
Speaker 1: that's that's just has come.
Speaker 2: Up a lot. Foolish to not know that, not foolish,
Speaker 2: but naive to not think of that. And I know
Speaker 2: people give this show a lot of shit, as they
Speaker 2: should because some of it is so just bad. But
Speaker 2: I still watch It's the Sex and the City sequel
Speaker 2: on HBO. I know, did you ever watch the original?
Speaker 2: You're like not very into TV? I did.
Speaker 1: I did watch the original, not not all the episodes,
Speaker 1: but yeah, because I didn't have HBO who had money?
Speaker 2: But right, yeah, so I use my sister as max account,
Speaker 2: you know, because we all share and yeah, so her
Speaker 2: and Aiden the main character Carrie and her just for
Speaker 2: if you don't watch the show, because it was Hella
Speaker 2: Hella White for you know, and it has tried to
Speaker 2: change and some hilarious ways hilariously bad. Anyway, she gets
Speaker 2: back with her former flame who and they're both in
Speaker 2: their sixties or fifties now and he has like teenage
Speaker 2: children and spoiler alert, spoiler alert if you have not
Speaker 2: watched the season finale, just mute the next thirty seconds
Speaker 2: he ends up. They end up breaking up, like and
Speaker 2: basically like he's like, give me five years. I need
Speaker 2: to be with my teenagers because his teenager like went
Speaker 2: and crashed a car and you know, really needed him now.
Speaker 2: And there was a really bad scene when Aidan was
Speaker 2: crying in the car. It just was not really well acted.
Speaker 2: But anyway, and so they end up breaking up and
Speaker 2: he's like, just give me five years. I'll see you
Speaker 2: in five years. It was so weird, but just to
Speaker 2: your point, like that was, you know, that's a real
Speaker 2: thing when you're there's real life, if they're caretaking for,
Speaker 2: you know, a parent, you know, even.
Speaker 1: It's just funny you say that. I'm like turn ten
Speaker 1: in my noser, but I'm like, actually, someone actually did
Speaker 1: say that to me. They live out of state, and
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, I won't be really free to
Speaker 1: move back to jury for five years, so not like, hey,
Speaker 1: wait for me for five years, Like we we can date,
Speaker 1: but it's gonna look like long distance basically, well relatively
Speaker 1: speak because they're not that far away. It's a few hours,
Speaker 1: but still you know that's a consideration. But I'm like
Speaker 1: child who was living with me anyway, So I'm like,
Speaker 1: so I'm like, yeah, you're like great, but these are
Speaker 1: things that come up with I'm like, oh yeah, just
Speaker 1: a dating as like an adult adult adult. Not that
Speaker 1: I wasn't dating as an adult before, but it's just
Speaker 1: so different now because I found that like a lot
Speaker 1: of guys are actually finding like guess in their forties.
Speaker 1: They're like, I wanna I wanna settle down. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: were you at twenty five, twenty where were you at
Speaker 1: thirty two? The very own serious not everybody want to
Speaker 1: get serious. And now that I'm like I'm actually like
Speaker 1: just kind of like light, they're like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to hear about that.
Speaker 2: Raz yeah, it's crazy, like so that others could run.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to date light. Everybody was like, partner up
Speaker 1: and then get married.
Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, where they were just biding their time
Speaker 2: until you know, older single women came on the market
Speaker 2: for whatever reason and did I want commitment or weren't
Speaker 2: looking for like something serious.
Speaker 1: But I feel like as soon as you want commitment,
Speaker 1: they don't want commitment. But when you're like, I'm actually good,
Speaker 1: They're like, but wait, I would like to I would
Speaker 1: like some some commitment, please, more commitment, please?
Speaker 2: Oh goodness. Well, I love that we're in such different,
Speaker 2: you know, unique places in our like in our lives.
Speaker 2: I could not be more what's the word that Bell
Speaker 2: uses in the intro of Beauty and the Beast provincial.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I am. I am so many women's like
Speaker 2: nightmare just like kids and pumping on the podcast and
Speaker 2: all this kind of stuff. I'm here to tell you
Speaker 2: it's great. I have so much fun. I love my life.
Speaker 2: But at the same time as not, I'll just love
Speaker 2: that you're in a different place in your life. And
Speaker 2: since you brought up dating, let's get it. And I
Speaker 2: feel like I deserve a treat because I just coump
Speaker 2: five ounces, Bay Bay, this is too bottle.
Speaker 3: You know what that means.
Speaker 2: So give me a treat. How's your dating live, what's happening,
Speaker 2: what's the latest?
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe act like I don't be talking her behind
Speaker 1: the scenes. She was like, how hasn't had.
Speaker 2: An update in a while. We always have to like
Speaker 2: end the phone call because I'm like, save it for
Speaker 2: the podcast.
Speaker 1: Waw I I mean I started dating a little not
Speaker 1: too long ago, you know, like at first I started
Speaker 1: off on the apps and I was like, I told
Speaker 1: you know, I told you all. I did a Black
Speaker 1: People Meet, which I was like, all your uncles is
Speaker 1: on there, follow them, and your daddy's talking about Hagar Hagarl,
Speaker 1: Hey Hagarl, Like it's really bad, Like, well, I'll say
Speaker 1: this Black people Meet, you know, like it's if you
Speaker 1: want volume, go ahead all the way. I mean, the
Speaker 1: volume is unmatched. I mean they're literally hundreds of message
Speaker 1: I've never seen anything like it. And then you know,
Speaker 1: I'm cute, but girl, it's if you want volume and
Speaker 1: you need yourself esteem to be boosted up, just like
Speaker 1: the But it's the men there, it's most of them.
Speaker 1: It's just weird because one they don't know to take pictures.
Speaker 1: I'm like, sir, why do you have a picture of
Speaker 1: with a mask on our masks? Sir? Who are you
Speaker 1: protecting yourself against? I'm like so many COVID pictures. I'm like,
Speaker 1: let's see your face, Jesus, I have the.
Speaker 2: Grossest sick cough right now that I want to laugh
Speaker 2: so hard.
Speaker 1: But I mean, there's been a handful of people. There
Speaker 1: was one guy, I'll tell you for example. He seemed normal.
Speaker 1: He actually was good looking. He was in his fifties,
Speaker 1: which is typically a little older than But I was like,
Speaker 1: and I feel like my range because I'm going to
Speaker 1: be forty four, my range is like thirty eight at
Speaker 1: the youngest, because thirty eight is like really young to me,
Speaker 1: but depends up until maybe like fifty five fifty six.
Speaker 1: I don't mind. I prefer older than younger for me
Speaker 1: in the stage I am now, whereas before I felt
Speaker 1: like I preferred like younger, closer.
Speaker 2: To my age. Not quite still I got her group back.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, I'm just honestly, because I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm in thirty eight is really pushing it. You'd
Speaker 1: have to be somebody special. I prefer, quite honestly, like
Speaker 1: the youngest really ideally forty and me being forty three now,
Speaker 1: you know, but like I could go to fifty fifty five,
Speaker 1: fifty six, I much rather pushed upwards. So anyway, so
Speaker 1: there's one guy, let's call him Bob. So Bob seemed great.
Speaker 1: He used to play pro football. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: and you could tell he's great physique although he's in
Speaker 1: his fifty still really great. Shame dad of an older child.
Speaker 1: He's a teacher. I'm jad like, one child is off
Speaker 1: to college, one child is like middle schoolish ages, you know,
Speaker 1: seems like a great dad. Blah blah blah. We had
Speaker 1: one conversation that was like mind blowing, such a great, awesome,
Speaker 1: like really just like you know, like super smart. I mean,
Speaker 1: like all the things you could talk about. I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: I remember literally at one point I looked at the phone.
Speaker 1: I said, wow, yeah, spoke too soon. So I go
Speaker 1: away on my trip. Bob is texting like, oh, I
Speaker 1: hope you're saved d you know, like and then his
Speaker 1: text get progressively for lack of a bread word, fresher,
Speaker 1: Oh no. It started off with me being like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, like what are you guys doing today? Like, Oh,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go and make chocolate at them. You know,
Speaker 1: we're taking like a chocolate making class. I hope you
Speaker 1: say some chocolate for me.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, hmmm, I.
Speaker 1: See where he's headed. But I was like, okay, I
Speaker 1: let that slide, and then it just got progressively fresher
Speaker 1: and fresher and fresher where he just basically like outright
Speaker 1: asked for some and I was like, wow, sir, I've
Speaker 1: literally never mentioned, huh.
Speaker 2: Some like picks or like girl and he knows you're
Speaker 2: in a different country.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, No, I'm talking about like, I'm like, literally
Speaker 1: I want some. That was text, not picks, girl sex.
Speaker 1: I just was like and I literally said somewhat and
Speaker 1: he said, oops, maybe too soon. Then I just stopped responding.
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, I know.
Speaker 2: I just was like, we're having him on the website
Speaker 2: that shall not being named, or where'd y'all meet?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, no, that was black people meet, and so
Speaker 1: like I was like, oh, one, normal one.
Speaker 2: I show a lot of horny old men.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's really what I was giving. And I
Speaker 1: was just like, but what really shocked me is that
Speaker 1: the phone conversation was clearly that he was smart, passionate
Speaker 1: about like he's a coach, you know, a teacher. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, like you know, like this
Speaker 1: is so the conversation was so great, there was nothing,
Speaker 1: there was no I'm and here's the thing, I don't
Speaker 1: mind being flirtatious, but I'm like, sir, i've never met you,
Speaker 1: I've never laid eyes on you. We're not I'm not.
Speaker 1: So I initially just ignored him, and my friend Linda
Speaker 1: was like, oh, you should at least set the boundary
Speaker 1: just so he knows moving forward. And I just messaged
Speaker 1: him and it was like, hey, you know, although I
Speaker 1: enjoyed flirting, I'm just not into overtly sexual conversation with
Speaker 1: somebody who I do not now you know.
Speaker 2: Okay. He was like say like, oh no, go ahead
Speaker 2: and go ahead no.
Speaker 1: And he was like, okay, might have a good life.
Speaker 1: Basically he's embarrassed. No, but girl, I was like, moving
Speaker 1: on because you're way.
Speaker 2: Too mature for him. He thought you were just gonna
Speaker 2: let him have an easy out.
Speaker 1: Girl as his big girl in age at fifty five.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, well, I mean there's been
Speaker 1: like you know, I mean not that a ton of
Speaker 1: people slide on my dms but certainly there are people
Speaker 1: who I knew before who I did not know held interest,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: And so I'm just like, I catch, I'm you're talking
Speaker 2: about your rich auntie life. But that's also too, that's
Speaker 2: something like like my sisters worry about that, Like I don't.
Speaker 1: I want. Of course, all your friends went to with
Speaker 1: somebody rich, and I'm just like, that's not a prerequisite
Speaker 1: for me, you know, Like no, My my rule has
Speaker 1: always been from when I was preschool teacher Tiffany to now,
Speaker 1: is that you should be able to financially take care
Speaker 1: of yourself and your responsibilities. However that looked. If you
Speaker 1: could do that on fifty thousand, okay, if you need
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand, okay, that's your business. Like you should
Speaker 1: be able to say, hey, this is my life, and
Speaker 1: I could take care of my responsibilities and you live
Speaker 1: within the means of what your responsibilities can provide. That's
Speaker 1: my only rule. I don't have like a number of
Speaker 1: what somebody can make, you know, because I don't need
Speaker 1: anyone to take care of mine. And if ever I
Speaker 1: decide to partner again, if you got yours and I
Speaker 1: got mine, then together life is easier, you know, that's
Speaker 1: like my.
Speaker 2: Rule of a project. Yeah, I do to fix anyone,
Speaker 2: are you No?
Speaker 1: I just think like someone can come complete. I want
Speaker 1: somebody who's really good at communicating. There's somebody I like
Speaker 1: more than everybody else. He's really good at communicating. We
Speaker 1: practice something called radical transparency, which is if it comes up,
Speaker 1: it comes out. There's nothing that we can't talk about,
Speaker 1: which I really like. But I'm not ready for partnership now,
Speaker 1: you know. And it seems like that's the direction he's
Speaker 1: kind of like leaning into. He listens to the podcast.
Speaker 2: So I'm just like, hey, when I tell my husband
Speaker 2: that he's thinks he's to put on deodorant, he doesn't
Speaker 2: view that as radical candor, but I do. I'm like,
Speaker 2: he's like, you're mean, I'm radically candid. But when you
Speaker 2: hand me the baby and the baby smells like pits all,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna need sorry, that's a that's a married ladies like.
Speaker 1: No, but I used to love that because honestly, like
Speaker 1: Girall was like that. He'd be like, is that true now?
Speaker 1: But you know that's married live. That's a level of
Speaker 1: you know, and then you want that like you should
Speaker 1: be able to but like I like this radical transparency
Speaker 1: because I can share I'm not ready for this, or
Speaker 1: I'm afraid or I'm scared, or I still very much
Speaker 1: love Darrell and I'm never gonna love you though I
Speaker 1: can say those things, you know, where I'm just like
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm not ready for partnership because quite honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with this love I
Speaker 1: have for Jirelle, you know, like I don't know where
Speaker 1: to safely put it so I can be open to
Speaker 1: like something else. So I'm not open as a results fully,
Speaker 1: you know, like certainly companionship and things are nice, but
Speaker 1: I'm just like I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 1: to release this, like and I know there's a healthy
Speaker 1: way actually have therapy tomorrow. I know there's there has
Speaker 1: to be a healthy way. Like It's almost like when
Speaker 1: I bought the condo, I did not step foot in
Speaker 1: that kindo for two months because the thought of leaving
Speaker 1: this home that I built with Jerel was too much.
Speaker 1: And so it wasn't until I had to like in
Speaker 1: my mind place this house in the safe space, like
Speaker 1: this is always going to be your house, this is
Speaker 1: the family house. This house is not going anywhere. This
Speaker 1: condo is not your home home. This is another home,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense, you know, because one day I
Speaker 1: want to live in a penthouse. One day I want
Speaker 1: to buy like some land. So this is one This
Speaker 1: is I rationalize in my head. The condo is not
Speaker 1: a replacement for home. It is part of a series
Speaker 1: of different types of living environments that you're going to
Speaker 1: live in. And so as a result, once I kind
Speaker 1: of was able to absorb that, like this is not
Speaker 1: replacing house, then I was able to go there, you know,
Speaker 1: after almost three months of buying it and saying, okay,
Speaker 1: I could see myself being here because one day I'll
Speaker 1: be someplace else. But I have not figured out how
Speaker 1: to do that with my love with Jarell. You know,
Speaker 1: I haven't figured that out, Like what do I you know,
Speaker 1: And that's what therapy is for, because right now he
Speaker 1: still occupies all of the space for like romantic love,
Speaker 1: you know, or most of it, And so to allow
Speaker 1: somebody else in in that way, at least in a
Speaker 1: way that's like really hardcore, like a partner or whatever,
Speaker 1: or potentially even a husband. One day it's like, well
Speaker 1: what do I do? Am I pushing out this love
Speaker 1: and I know that's not true, but your heart doesn't
Speaker 1: tell you that, so I haven't figured that out. So
Speaker 1: as a result, I don't want a partner, certainly like
Speaker 1: today it's a companionship. But I don't want a partner
Speaker 1: until I can safely keep this love and create the
Speaker 1: most beautiful box for it and to safely keep it.
Speaker 1: So until I feel that that, I'm not ready, you
Speaker 1: know for that. Although it's so crazy because like all
Speaker 1: these the men who are not you know, trying to
Speaker 1: have sex on the first date, are wanting partnership, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, eh, I mean they all know
Speaker 1: I'm always candid about with them about like my husband
Speaker 1: passed away two years ago. But yeah, they're all wanting partnership.
Speaker 1: But I'm just like, maybe one day, but as it
Speaker 1: is right now, I'm just not ready to move into
Speaker 1: the condo yet, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I mean I think it's also important to
Speaker 2: have that radical transparency with yourself so you know how
Speaker 2: you feel going into it. It's gonna make your whole
Speaker 2: dating I feel like journey or whatever that looks like
Speaker 2: for you a lot less painful. Yeah, because you're not
Speaker 2: like setting yourself up to attract these guys who are
Speaker 2: like looking to get wiped up.
Speaker 1: Where I am I stracking them?
Speaker 2: And you deserve to just have some fun. What's the fun.
Speaker 2: Have you been on a fun date?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Let me see, let me she give some hope.
Speaker 1: Well, just this weekend, I mean to me, I love
Speaker 1: like experiential. I mean like I'm not really I mean
Speaker 1: certainly dinners and things like that. That's cool, but like, well,
Speaker 1: also well this weekend the date we went to the shore,
Speaker 1: which is really nice.
Speaker 2: Like the minutes you canceled on our anniversary, I knew
Speaker 2: a man without I knew, I said, I bet she
Speaker 2: has because she hasn't seen sneak, not a sneak healing.
Speaker 2: In a minute, I'm gonna get shafted. I wish you
Speaker 2: had given me the chance to like give me you know,
Speaker 2: I would have said, yes.
Speaker 1: I went in the shore, which is about forty five
Speaker 1: been a drive from where I live, and there's a
Speaker 1: restaurant there that's like one of my favorites. It's like
Speaker 1: so delicious and great. And then like we bought a
Speaker 1: blanket because it was too chilly for the water but
Speaker 1: warm enough to like lay on the beach, So just
Speaker 1: sat on the beach to listen to music, talking which
Speaker 1: is so great, for like an hour or so, and
Speaker 1: then we walked around and then down the shore. There's
Speaker 1: one of my favorite ice cream places called Day. If
Speaker 1: you're ever in like the Asbury Park, Neptune, whatever area,
Speaker 1: Ocean Grove, there's this ice cream place, this family owned
Speaker 1: and operated ice cream place called Days, like Days of
Speaker 1: the Week. The best ice cream I have ever had
Speaker 1: in my life. So we walked around, got that ice cream.
Speaker 1: He'd never had it before. We were just like, but
Speaker 1: the shore is because where I live, you know, I
Speaker 1: live in the city, which is like high strung and
Speaker 1: hyper and the shore as soon as we hit it,
Speaker 1: it was so calm. The energy it was like it
Speaker 1: went from hyperactive to like literally zero. So it was
Speaker 1: just like such a that was such a nice immersive date,
Speaker 1: you know, like going to the shore, sitting on the beach,
Speaker 1: eating at a really the restaurant was, you know, not
Speaker 1: some super fancy restaurant, but just this cute, beechy kind
Speaker 1: of restaurant, having ice cream. Literally just walking the neighborhood.
Speaker 1: We went to like an antique shop and like like, look,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for stuff for the condo. So that was
Speaker 1: really nice. I'll tell you my very first date that
Speaker 1: I had after Drill passed away was with this guy
Speaker 1: and he was really nice, but I was so nervous
Speaker 1: and it wasn't just nervous. I also was really anxious
Speaker 1: about being out. But we went bowling, which was cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I remember this one right. And then afterwards,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna date anyone in Newark.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like I wanted to come, which is
Speaker 1: crazy because we were on the train and so this
Speaker 1: guy who I was dating, who I went on a
Speaker 1: date with, you know, he didn't know. I told him
Speaker 1: my name is Tiffany, I'm a teacher. You know. He
Speaker 1: didn't know anything else. And so but we were on
Speaker 1: the train and I saw a woman and I know
Speaker 1: the look of budgeties as you and I looked at her.
Speaker 1: So she looked at me like, you know, with the
Speaker 1: initial excitement like I about to say something, and then
Speaker 1: she looked at him standing next to me. But she
Speaker 1: gave me to look like, oh wait, okay, okay, girl,
Speaker 1: I love Yeah she did. I tell you the dates
Speaker 1: that have been on that has happened multiple times and
Speaker 1: I love black women are top tier. Okay, because one
Speaker 1: time it was out walking with like this guy that
Speaker 1: I'm like currently like this gues's going out with more
Speaker 1: regularly now, and this girl was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: oh girl, my bad, you're doing something. By when I
Speaker 1: tell you, she was like, look me my business. She
Speaker 1: literally said, you doing so I'll never forget that because
Speaker 1: the way she looked me was like, oh so, but yeah, So,
Speaker 1: I mean it's been interesting. I mean so far, Like
Speaker 1: you know, the people I've met, I've been pretty nice.
Speaker 1: But like I said, I child, I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: just I figure out my life. No, you know, but
Speaker 1: we're here for such a short period of time. I
Speaker 1: remind myself this all the time, that, like, especially whenever
Speaker 1: I go to visit Darrell's gravesite. He is in a
Speaker 1: historic cemetery and there are literally tombstones I say, seventeen whatever,
Speaker 1: like eighteen, you know, And so I think to myself
Speaker 1: all the time that these like people have stood here
Speaker 1: hundreds of years before me, experiencing the same emotions I'm experiencing,
Speaker 1: and that although life seems long, it's really just like
Speaker 1: a flash in the bucket and the entirety. Like nothing
Speaker 1: taught me that more than going to Egypt thousands of
Speaker 1: years ago someone touched the same pyramid that I'm touching,
Speaker 1: and that as big as my life feels like to me,
Speaker 1: it is a flash in the bucket. It goes by
Speaker 1: so quickly. So I can live my life aligned with
Speaker 1: what everybody wants me to do, or date this rich person,
Speaker 1: or I can just try and say, like, girl, I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's just a dagon day. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: be on my deathbed. Why did I go out with Jimbo?
Speaker 1: Like nobody cares.
Speaker 2: I just love you and your advice and your mixed cliches.
Speaker 3: The flashing the bucket, what is it, flo I have
Speaker 3: become drop in the bucket. When I tell you, I
Speaker 3: have become my dad, he is a king.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know. I almost was like I
Speaker 2: give for it, but I'm glad.
Speaker 1: I will always Oh my god, Rodney j why are
Speaker 1: you coming out of my mouth? Like yo? He loved
Speaker 1: to be like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: The flash in the bucket.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make sense. But I'm honestly just navigating.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to put one foot in front of
Speaker 1: the other and like and be honest, that's my big thing.
Speaker 1: As long as I'm honest. Adults can choose what they
Speaker 1: want to do, you know, And.
Speaker 2: So older I get, the more I'm just like Buddhism
Speaker 2: is just like, I'm gonna study it more because a
Speaker 2: lot of these principles, like the cycle, the bigger than anything,
Speaker 2: like all these teachings is a whole part of it.
Speaker 2: But I agree, and it helps. It's it's that perspective.
Speaker 2: I think we all need that reminder on a daily
Speaker 2: the big things are not that big. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great book. Don't swam, don't sweat the
Speaker 1: small stuff. It's a really great book.
Speaker 2: What's your dad's name? Well, RONDI Jr?
Speaker 1: Take a break?
Speaker 2: Can we right back with our boothster breaks? Ye?
Speaker 1: Yes, and we're black and back and brown. It's time
Speaker 1: wait right, wait wait wait wait boost a break? Okay,
Speaker 1: it's time to boost up, break up, boost up, break up,
Speaker 1: boost up, break up? Boost Are you gonna boost? Are
Speaker 1: you gonna break? What you're gonna do? What you're gonna do?
Speaker 1: You want to go for a second, what do you
Speaker 1: want to do? Mane?
Speaker 2: Oh, I just switched my break I just chose to
Speaker 2: break something because that just clicked to me what I
Speaker 2: was thinking about earlier. And I'm gonna need a minute.
Speaker 2: I can Okay, I'll go first.
Speaker 1: You say you want to go first, Yeah, I can
Speaker 1: go first. Okay, I was up to you.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay. I want to take a break from ozempic.
Speaker 2: Have you heard about oh oh oh oh? It went
Speaker 2: from being the commercial that always came on when I
Speaker 2: was watching CBS, I call it the Gael Show in
Speaker 2: the morning, to like this epic drug. You guys have
Speaker 2: heard of ozempic. You probably know about it, but little
Speaker 2: did I know. A couple of years ago, my doctor
Speaker 2: tried to prescribe or did prescribe me ozempic. Really yeah,
Speaker 2: because I was struggling, I think, like a lot of
Speaker 2: new moms, to like lose the weight, and some of
Speaker 2: my some of my levels were not great and like
Speaker 2: my labs or whatever, like they weren't bad, but they
Speaker 2: were just starting to, like, you know, change for the
Speaker 2: first time. And I was like, okay, really got you know,
Speaker 2: I want to lose some more weight and anyway, so yeah,
Speaker 2: and I had gone to an endochronologist to get my
Speaker 2: hormones checked and the endocrinologists who like prescribed me ozempic.
Speaker 2: And it was this shot that I put in my
Speaker 2: stomach and I tried it. I think I had like
Speaker 2: a six week supply and she was very excited because
Speaker 2: my insurance covered it because it was newer and not
Speaker 2: a lot of insurances, did I guess at the time anyway,
Speaker 2: So this was a couple a couple of years ago,
Speaker 2: maybe three years ago, two or three tried it. I
Speaker 2: really hated it, like made mad, It made me nauseous,
Speaker 2: and I hated the act of like shooting myself in
Speaker 2: the stomach. I read that, And then now cut to
Speaker 2: a couple few years later, and people are losing their
Speaker 2: minds over this weight loss drug. And if you haven't yet,
Speaker 2: there's a really great episode of the New York Times
Speaker 2: podcast The Daily about ozempic and it really just like
Speaker 2: lays the foundation for how did we get here where
Speaker 2: it's become this viral you know drug and every and
Speaker 2: I should have known we reached a tipping point because
Speaker 2: when my mom visited like a few I don't know,
Speaker 2: like early last year or whatever, she was like, is
Speaker 2: that ozempic in your fridge? Because that's where I stored
Speaker 2: it you're supposed to store in the fridge. She's like,
Speaker 2: can I have some? And I'm like, mom, should we
Speaker 2: be sharing needles like this?
Speaker 1: Like this?
Speaker 2: You know, it was just weird and I can see
Speaker 2: the hunger in people's eyes, like, oh, this is a
Speaker 2: miracle pill and this is miracle drug. Whatever, It's not
Speaker 2: a pill, it's a shot. But I was listening and
Speaker 2: the more I was listening to this episode, I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm really glad that I did not choose that path
Speaker 2: for myself, because what's really frustrating to me is I
Speaker 2: feel like I have just arrived at this base in
Speaker 2: my life where I feel healthy in the body that
Speaker 2: I have now, which is larger and looks different than
Speaker 2: I did, you know, five, six, ten years ago. But
Speaker 2: I feel and am healthy and I am happy, and
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm part of this new I feel like
Speaker 2: for millennial old old elder millennials, this new wave where
Speaker 2: it's about really loving ourselves the way that we are
Speaker 2: and looking for health, looking for you know, healthfulness and
Speaker 2: that's not attached to a number on the scale and
Speaker 2: having a good mentality around that as long as you
Speaker 2: feel good and you're healthy and things are fine, just
Speaker 2: at the time when I feel like this freaking drug
Speaker 2: has landed like a nuclear bomb into all of this
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, I feel like a lot
Speaker 2: of people are, you know, shifting and like, oh, but
Speaker 2: this this is gonna be the thing. It's like another
Speaker 2: It's another miracle diet. It's another beach body, It's another
Speaker 2: like Atkins. It's another fucking key Sorry Keto, but for real,
Speaker 2: f Keto. You know these diet things, it's this other
Speaker 2: thing that people are going to try. Are you really
Speaker 2: gonna put a shot in your stomach for the rest
Speaker 2: of your life? Like, because if you stop doing that,
Speaker 2: it stops working. Yes, you know. I heard. If you
Speaker 2: stop shooting yourself in the stomach with this you know medicine,
Speaker 2: it will stop working. And so the same reasons why
Speaker 2: you struggled before are still going to be there. So
Speaker 2: I feel like it's just not like a long term solution.
Speaker 2: And I just and I had to know myself because
Speaker 2: I started to even wonder, I bet I can get
Speaker 2: back in touch with that end chronologists and see if
Speaker 2: she could hook me up with more hook me up
Speaker 2: like as a like it's fentanyl. No, but like you know,
Speaker 2: get some more and try it again after my after
Speaker 2: I just had my my new baby, because I genuinely
Speaker 2: do have some weight loss goals with this one. But
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to
Speaker 2: go down that path for my own self because I
Speaker 2: have been on every like up and down of weight
Speaker 2: like many women in this country are, and I just
Speaker 2: know the answers are probably for me not gonna lie
Speaker 2: in you know another uh yeah, another drug or another diet,
Speaker 2: another plan like that. And yeah, it just makes me
Speaker 2: sad because I feel like I'm there is so much.
Speaker 2: Especially at that Beyonce concert, I just felt so like
Speaker 2: Seene and their dancers. I still think about that one
Speaker 2: dancer with the crop short blonde hair and like with
Speaker 2: all that body, and I was like, her body looks
Speaker 2: like my body, and it's and you know, just and
Speaker 2: we're getting to this place and it feels like this
Speaker 2: drug and all the conversations around it are just bringing
Speaker 2: us back too and like you know, not having like
Speaker 2: feeling like feeling like we need to do something to
Speaker 2: change ourselves. So that's my that's my break this week.
Speaker 1: No, it's I didn't know that it was an injectable
Speaker 1: and I had heard that you have to keep taking it,
Speaker 1: Like I wonder, like what how has like the market
Speaker 1: share that you know, like what's the financial ramifications of
Speaker 1: like this this drug? I'm sure like that. Do you
Speaker 1: know who makes it?
Speaker 2: Like Procter and Gamba's No, what's it called Novo disc
Speaker 2: or No, it's one of those. It's a big pharmaceutical.
Speaker 2: It's like called Novo.
Speaker 1: I wonder how like if they if they are privately owned,
Speaker 1: which I'm sure like and what they're to have their
Speaker 1: stock prices rose as a result. This is the type
Speaker 1: of thing quite honestly, this whole thing around like ozampic
Speaker 1: and things like that. Like if you are in the market,
Speaker 1: these are the types of things that you listen for
Speaker 1: and you know, you're like, huh, this is something that
Speaker 1: this is how people kind of choose like where they
Speaker 1: might invest in, where they might place their money, you know,
Speaker 1: depending on like you know, because not everybody wants to
Speaker 1: invest in something like this, but I'm just putting that
Speaker 1: out there. It's like a financial spend. But yeah, and
Speaker 1: then to for you to have to use it forever
Speaker 1: and ever, and that's that's a lot, Like I mean,
Speaker 1: as someone who was like, h you know, I you know,
Speaker 1: I'd been pretty much skinny my whole life until I
Speaker 1: was in and I put on like, you know, a
Speaker 1: decent amout like thirty pounds or so.
Speaker 2: And person skinning is another person's like or one person's
Speaker 2: I'm not skinny anymore is another person's like gold, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Because there's no version of you
Speaker 2: that I've ever known where you haven't looked fucking amazing.
Speaker 2: And I've been like, dang, I wish I could be
Speaker 2: that size, you know what I mean, Like it's just
Speaker 2: crazy what we do to ourselves. But I was with ourselves.
Speaker 1: I just you know, I just felt uncomfortable, you know,
Speaker 1: like with the way like it was feeling and sitting
Speaker 1: and yeah, and so like now that I'm down to like,
Speaker 1: I guess what I would call like why regular normal weight? Like,
Speaker 1: so just for transparency, because I'm not hung up on numbers.
Speaker 1: So I'm five seven and then my peak it was
Speaker 1: a little over.
Speaker 2: Two hundred times I am triggered by numbers. Okay, so
Speaker 2: I will not share your numbers.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Okay, I won't Okay, I'm silent.
Speaker 2: But now it's okay, I'm really I have got a
Speaker 2: lot of like I've been like traumatized by this whole
Speaker 2: my whole life. Yeah, numbers triggered.
Speaker 1: Okay, we know, Okay, good to know. So anyway, I
Speaker 1: just lost a good amount of weight and I feel like,
Speaker 1: for the most part, good about where I am now.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know, y'all know, I've been walking.
Speaker 1: I just lately I've been considering going back to weight
Speaker 1: training a little bit because I find that I yo, yo,
Speaker 1: because walking is not no you know, you have to
Speaker 1: like muscles underneath have to basically keep you where you are,
Speaker 1: you know, and so like. But the walking has been great.
Speaker 1: You know, I've been doing that for like the last
Speaker 1: two years, and it has mostly honestly been about mental
Speaker 1: health to walking. And I was almost kind of like
Speaker 1: the health component. I was like, oh, because I never
Speaker 1: thought it was not my intention to lose weight with walking,
Speaker 1: because who thinks you could lose weight where I did
Speaker 1: not know that, you know. It was really just like
Speaker 1: I need to walk because I cannot sit in this house.
Speaker 1: Like I started walking after Jiroll passed away, just because
Speaker 1: I had to. I was looking for peace, and I
Speaker 1: was like, it's nature it's sunshine, it's outside, I get
Speaker 1: to talk to a friend or maybe listen to a podcast,
Speaker 1: and inadvertently I started to like lose some weight, and
Speaker 1: I just said, okay, And even now when I walk,
Speaker 1: it's really not for that. I'm just like, I still
Speaker 1: walk my one to two hours when it's not raining
Speaker 1: like today, because it brings so much peace to me.
Speaker 1: And it's nice to know that. Because I had a
Speaker 1: personal trainer for a brief moment, he was like, typically,
Speaker 1: it's so good for your heart, you know, Like are
Speaker 1: you gonna become ripped from walking? No, but he was
Speaker 1: like your overall health, like it tremendously increases your overall health.
Speaker 1: Like now I'm into like I'm such an old lady.
Speaker 1: I just went to this place in Montclair called Fleet Feet.
Speaker 1: This is like where like if you're like a runner
Speaker 1: or a marathon or whatever, people go to get fit
Speaker 1: for like for sneakers, like and so not that they're
Speaker 1: not specialty sneakers, but they are really knowledgeable about depending
Speaker 1: on what type of sport you do, which sneaker you
Speaker 1: should get. So I like to go and so I
Speaker 1: got my if you were to see my walking sneakers
Speaker 1: You're like, you are now the thickest. So I don't
Speaker 1: care because I have plants as fasciitis, which is just
Speaker 1: flat feet.
Speaker 2: So he's admitting for not admitting not but sharing not
Speaker 2: because I feel like all these some a lot of
Speaker 2: these like health concerns don't just affect overweight or you
Speaker 2: know technically like heavy people. Yeah, regular people have these
Speaker 2: types of things.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I know I've been had flat feet girl
Speaker 1: African place, it was flat first. I have flat feet
Speaker 1: my well, because we never I never wore shoes like
Speaker 1: I just like my dad has the flattest. Literally, when
Speaker 1: I went to the foot doctor, he was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you got pancakes. I was like, I feel
Speaker 1: like you're not supposed to stick.
Speaker 2: I have no art.
Speaker 1: But as a result of that, that's what happened. I
Speaker 1: have a hard time with heels because you know that
Speaker 1: arch and then but like it was to the point
Speaker 1: where I could not walk around the house without limping.
Speaker 1: My foot hurts so much, and so I went to
Speaker 1: the foot doctor. He said, you have plants or fasciitis
Speaker 1: aka flat feet. He gave me the these insoles for
Speaker 1: my shoes, which were so uncomfortable. I refuse. I started
Speaker 1: wearing crocs. I got like house crocs because crocs have like,
Speaker 1: you know, like they have an arch built in. Plus
Speaker 1: the phone feels so great. I started wearing Birkenstocks. I'm
Speaker 1: so glad they were in style because Birkenstocks are actually
Speaker 1: orthopedic shoes, Like the guy who made them was an
Speaker 1: orthopedic like doctor. And so I love my birken socks.
Speaker 1: And then I realized that if I'm going to do
Speaker 1: all this walking now, I go and get like, like
Speaker 1: they just I have a pair of New Balance and
Speaker 1: a pair of A six, but they're specifically for like
Speaker 1: the foam and the cushion and the walking. So I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I'm such an old lady now, because you.
Speaker 2: Know, like if they're smart about your feet.
Speaker 1: They're not fashion. I'll just say that, like this is
Speaker 1: just for if you catch me in the street and
Speaker 1: you're like, what are those there? Mind your business?
Speaker 2: Well, I've just gotten to a place where I to
Speaker 2: give you a sense of my journey. For me to
Speaker 2: take a walk just for the pure love of it,
Speaker 2: which is what I've arrived at now, has taken so
Speaker 2: long for me to take a walk and not think
Speaker 2: I have to take this walk because I had a
Speaker 2: sandwich for lunch, or I should take this walk because
Speaker 2: I am gonna eat later, or I need to start
Speaker 2: losing weight, like to make it like to have just
Speaker 2: move your body for the joy of it, you know,
Speaker 2: and for the way it makes you feel. That's where
Speaker 2: I'm finally at. And I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: I love that here, Yes, I love that, And it's not.
Speaker 2: Easy for a lot of people, like the mental That's
Speaker 2: the thing with the way that Ozempeic works. I really
Speaker 2: encourage you to listen to that episode because it'll teach
Speaker 2: you a lot about how it works. It actually blocks
Speaker 2: in your brain the uh it makes you stay shaded
Speaker 2: for longer, but it also breaks it also like stops
Speaker 2: your brain from thinking about food in some way, like
Speaker 2: thinking about eating and what you're gonna make and like
Speaker 2: in advance, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: M hm.
Speaker 2: And of course also it blocks a hormone that makes
Speaker 2: you like have an app have more of an appetite. Okay,
Speaker 2: you know, so it it like it dulls all that down,
Speaker 2: similar to like how anti anxiety medication dulls doubts in
Speaker 2: the you know what I mean? Okay, So It's fascinating
Speaker 2: how it works, and I know it helps lots of
Speaker 2: people because you know, and and if you're on the
Speaker 2: brink of some really bad medical condition, you can be
Speaker 2: and you need something where you can lose you know,
Speaker 2: weight to get better. All for it, one thousand percent.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think my break is just about the
Speaker 2: impact to other people I know who are on similar
Speaker 2: journeys to me in terms of like your self love
Speaker 2: and your body and all that. To think that it
Speaker 2: could potentially like set some of us back, it's just
Speaker 2: kind of sad for me. I know it is.
Speaker 1: And I'm saying, Wendy always thought you were so beautiful.
Speaker 2: I know I am almost I always I trim my
Speaker 2: own bangs, and I don't like.
Speaker 1: Girl, you always serve it face no matter what, Girl.
Speaker 2: I feel so beautiful now I walk out thousand You know.
Speaker 2: I get hit on more sometimes when I leave the
Speaker 2: house than I girl.
Speaker 1: We were at Beyonce, Girl, the looks that Mandy was giddy.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh and anohing one oh and another.
Speaker 2: It was like, oh hey, yes, but anyway, thank you,
Speaker 2: thank you. But yeah, it's it's really just about how
Speaker 2: you feel about yourself.
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, yes, that's true because you could be the
Speaker 1: most beautiful women in the world. And if you don't
Speaker 1: feel that about yourself then.
Speaker 2: And I have been fifty pounds later looking at and
Speaker 2: feeling like, oh I wish I could lose twenty And
Speaker 2: now I'm looking back like what was I thinking? I'm
Speaker 2: done with that bullshit. I want to be in this
Speaker 2: moment right now.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: I look right now, yes, like that's the journey. That
Speaker 2: is it. That was a long ass break.
Speaker 1: No, somebody needed to hear it. So mine is actually
Speaker 1: mine is a light light and bright. So so every
Speaker 1: once in a while I like to highlight especially women, know,
Speaker 1: especially black women own businesses, and so I want to
Speaker 1: highlight the lady who does my brows. Don't look at
Speaker 1: them now because they have not been done in a while.
Speaker 1: If you're watching the video bit, you know Farah. Her
Speaker 1: business is called me let me pull it up. It's
Speaker 1: called Secrets with an S two plush secrets to plush.
Speaker 1: She's on ig. But the waightst woman, what does she do? She?
Speaker 1: I mean, well, one, she can certainly tint, she can
Speaker 1: use Hannah, she can do ombre. So these are like
Speaker 1: more permanent kind of like but I can't get that
Speaker 1: because I'm allergic. So she did a little tests behind
Speaker 1: my ear, and so behind my ear was like, girl,
Speaker 1: you tried it, so you also, you know, because I'm
Speaker 1: allergic to black guy, which I told you all about
Speaker 1: the story how my face blew up when I.
Speaker 2: Died my hair.
Speaker 1: So I told her, let's test. She's like, still allergic.
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, but she's died. You've had your eyebrows died.
Speaker 2: You're not talking about like threading or waxing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, she does. So, so I only go
Speaker 1: for waxing because I can't get anything else because I'm allergic.
Speaker 1: But she does such a I have been going to
Speaker 1: the same lady since I was fourteen years old. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Lisa and Irvington, a little Asian lady who's like, hello,
Speaker 1: no baby, I'm like Lisa focused one herberos.
Speaker 2: Oh my damn.
Speaker 1: I know. She was like an auntie. She's like, no husband.
Speaker 1: And then when I got mad, okay baby soon, I'm
Speaker 1: like Lisa, I just literally come here for my eyebrows.
Speaker 1: I don't care for the commentary, but from high school.
Speaker 2: And therapists and business commentary, right.
Speaker 1: And so Lisa, so yeah, so literally she was the
Speaker 1: first person when I was fourteen and then up until just.
Speaker 2: A year ago.
Speaker 1: But it was all the way in Plainfield at this
Speaker 1: place called Nails three thousand, the typical place you get
Speaker 1: your eyebrows and then nail salon. But it just was
Speaker 1: too far to go. And then my sister Kara was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I got this groupon for this place in Belleville, New Jersey,
Speaker 1: and which is like not far from where I live
Speaker 1: at all, like literally like a five minute drive, and
Speaker 1: I went and Farah won. She's like the sweetest woman
Speaker 1: black woman, and one I love when someone, you know,
Speaker 1: when someone really knows they're like like she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: what if your brows, you know, one of your you
Speaker 1: have a like I guess this is my left side
Speaker 1: goes a little high. She's like, so in order for
Speaker 1: me to even out, I have to do this. And
Speaker 1: then like I said, my eyebrows are really thin, She's like, no,
Speaker 1: they're not to you actually have thick eyebrows. You just
Speaker 1: have fine hair. And I was like, I'd never cause
Speaker 1: you know, you go to the nail salon. Lisa is
Speaker 1: just like strip shit by I get out of here
Speaker 1: and have a baby. You know like Farah was like
Speaker 1: literally drawing lines on like she's doing a mathematical equation
Speaker 1: on my face. She's talking me through it. Plus she's
Speaker 1: just really nice and kind. We're talking like business talk
Speaker 1: as black women, and she just me it's her. Salona's beautiful,
Speaker 1: and so she's just like, yeah, Secrets of Plush. If ever,
Speaker 1: if you are in the Jersey area, let's mob through
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I need her to stay open. Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to stay open because I'm where else are
Speaker 1: I going to get my eyebrows done? Her daughter just lashes,
Speaker 1: But yeah, she she's so all my Literally we all
Speaker 1: go now. Oh, my neighbors, my friend Rihanna, my friend,
Speaker 1: my other neighbor, my sisters, everyone, we have all switched over.
Speaker 1: Everyone goes there now because she does want such a
Speaker 1: good job. But she's also really really knowledgeable about all
Speaker 1: things eyebrows, and she's just really kind and she takes
Speaker 1: her time, and so Secrets with an as two Plush.
Speaker 1: She's at two seventy four Bellville Avenue, Bellville, New Jersey.
Speaker 1: If you go to her the but Janisa, tell me
Speaker 1: about you girl, And two I just love like I
Speaker 1: love to see black women she opened the salon. I think,
Speaker 1: like he's it right join the pandemic right after, and
Speaker 1: she's just like I want to make it work, and
Speaker 1: I want to see her do well, you know, and selfishly,
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to find a new eyebrow lady,
Speaker 1: so I need her to be.
Speaker 2: A business brows. I mean, I don't do anything to
Speaker 2: my brows, but this is making me want to do something.
Speaker 2: She's just great, honestly, she just you know they don't
Speaker 2: like waxing, Well, you don't have to. I think.
Speaker 1: I don't think she does threading though, but I mean,
Speaker 1: like that's something to ask, but like so much of
Speaker 1: a baby for threading. I know, you know, threading is.
Speaker 2: I know I did.
Speaker 1: I used to get threading and I was like, why
Speaker 1: you do hate yourself.
Speaker 2: So you're insane.
Speaker 1: It's so painful, so painful, like people used to. I
Speaker 1: did it maybe three times, and I thought I was
Speaker 1: going to be my paints with a level of pain.
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, I'm appreciating that.
Speaker 1: That was really my my boost. I want to boost
Speaker 1: another black woman in business who is really nice and
Speaker 1: kind and funny and smart, but also very knowledgeable and
Speaker 1: good at what she does. And her prices are like
Speaker 1: super like that's it? You sure? Yeah, secrets to Plush
Speaker 1: you can find them on ig They're located in Belleville's
Speaker 1: Tracy p r. Yeah. We literally all of us go
Speaker 1: get our eyebrows done there, all of us, my sisters. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So that was literally literally and I just want to
Speaker 1: give another black woman a little you know, from time
Speaker 1: to time, I would like to, like, you know, because
Speaker 1: there are so many businesses that I you know, give
Speaker 1: my business too, and I'm like, you know what, this
Speaker 1: black woman can use a little extra, you know, boost
Speaker 1: you know, and so Farah is definitely one of them.
Speaker 1: So that was a hey girl, hey Farra girl.
Speaker 2: If the girls tell yous skin girlies like you, yeah,
Speaker 2: they actually know what they're doing.
Speaker 1: When I tell you, I have never broken out like
Speaker 1: I mean very sensitive skin. I mean like I can't
Speaker 1: even do anything. I literally I have a rash on
Speaker 1: my lips right now because I tried a new chapstick. Wow,
Speaker 1: I know, Like that's how honestly, like I usually only
Speaker 1: use birch bees like as chapstick. Because trying a new one,
Speaker 1: I was a girl, just do it, m M. And
Speaker 1: now I'm rashy so I'm back to birds bees. Literally,
Speaker 1: I have my birth bees with me right now because
Speaker 1: I have been. I don't know why Muskin is super
Speaker 1: sensitive and like I said, pharahm super clean. I've never
Speaker 1: broken out with her, which is huge because it's a
Speaker 1: very easy place to break out.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: Shout outs to Parah. Hey, if you're taking ozempic or
Speaker 2: rather weight loss drugs, I'm interested to hear what your
Speaker 2: experience has been. I just feel like, yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: stay away from that. But in the meantime, come check
Speaker 2: us out on Friday for ba Q and A and thanks.
Speaker 1: Your questions you can ask them. Go ahead and go
Speaker 1: ahead on over to the Brownibission Podcast dot com and
Speaker 1: click like contact us or ask us anything.
Speaker 2: Oh thanks? Yeah, we keep saying ask us anything, as
Speaker 2: if we still have our old website.
Speaker 1: Yeah, contact us.
Speaker 2: It's contact us. I know because I just went on
Speaker 2: there and I was like, maybe I should change. That's
Speaker 2: not lying to everybody, but hey, your questions get to us,
Speaker 2: all right?
Speaker 1: How about you figure it out?
Speaker 2: You got it or hit us up on Instagram at
Speaker 2: Brown Ambition Podcast on ig We'll see y'all Friday. Bye