1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,280 Speaker 1: But Shack explain to them how you you really do 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: think that you are the next voice in relationships and parenting. 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 2: Well, I don't want to say that I'm the next voice. 4 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,079 Speaker 2: I am the voice for those that made them a 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 2: lot of made a lot of mistakes and want to 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 2: recover from the mistakes because I always I always say 7 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,760 Speaker 2: my biggest mistake was ruining my family by being dumb. 8 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 2: And you know, a man's job is to protect, providing love. 9 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 2: I could always say, well, she did it, she did that. No, 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 2: I did it. Everything everything I think in relationship is 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 2: caused and effected because I was doing the dumb stuff. 12 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 2: Now I'm in a thirty times square for the house 13 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 2: by myself. So it's not that I'm an expert. I 14 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 2: just tell my stories that I have to tell because 15 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 2: I want people to learn and understand. You know, when 16 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,559 Speaker 2: you when you going through stuff and you got it 17 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 2: going on and that stuff not real life. Well real 18 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 2: life to me was coming in the house and sit 19 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 2: and here in six different daddy daddy, daddy, daddy, and 20 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 2: then one day that's gone. You ain't here by yourself. Yeah, 21 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 2: you got the chef, and you got the fifty cars, 22 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 2: and you got the double story closet. But you don't 23 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 2: have your baby and you don't have your hot wife, 24 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 2: and you pursue. So it's not that I'm an experts 25 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 2: that I try to tell stories to let people know 26 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 2: that it was me. It was all made Like I'm 27 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 2: my father musclim man. So you protect, you provide, and 28 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 2: you love your woman. All three, not one, not two, 29 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 2: all three. I don't want to hear it like my 30 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 2: father worked three jobs, three jobs to give my mama 31 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 2: not a lot, but just you know, give give her, 32 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 2: give us what we wanted. I knew the rules and 33 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 2: not just in valor rules. So thank you for being here, 34 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 2: Thank you, miss miss misgive. No, that's real. 35 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 3: And I want to tell you that that's that's the 36 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 3: reason why we wrote the book, because what you said, 37 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 3: a lot of people do will say a lot of 38 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 3: people joke and they laugh, and that's why we wrote. 39 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 4: The first book. 40 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 3: In the second book, sometimes you got to be vulnerable 41 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 3: and be like this was the reason why. And I 42 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 3: don't want you to follow the same thing that I 43 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 3: did to mess this up. And you know we've had 44 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 3: conversations before and I almost to the point where I'm like, nah, 45 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 3: this is it ain't worth none of that. Like like 46 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 3: you said, coming home to an empty house, I don't 47 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 3: care what size your house is. If you got a baseball, 48 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 3: called basketball, called indoor pool, outdoor pool, it don't matter 49 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 3: what you got in there. But if you coming home 50 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 3: and you alone, you worth it. 51 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 2: It hit me, well, it hit me in the beginning. 52 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,919 Speaker 2: But it hit me because when things happened, my baby 53 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 2: sharifas five eight. Next time I say h six eleven 54 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 2: and I like to remember and reminiscent, I'm like, all, 55 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 2: let's go yeah, And that's what really hit me. And then, 56 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,839 Speaker 2: like you said, I'm in on land on my house 57 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 2: at seventy dollars gird feet and I'm in one room 58 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 2: in the kitchen, and then I go to bed. One 59 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 2: boy say yo, man, you gotta get out. I was like, 60 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 2: I can't. I don't like because I'm a creature of 61 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 2: habit and I'm supposed to learn from mistakes and I didn't. 62 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 2: But we're we're we're tight now. But once I realized 63 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 2: that I was compan up to to realize what I did, 64 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 2: it made me feel a little bit better. And still 65 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 2: you don't think about all the time because my kids 66 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 2: a twenty seven, twenty eight. Only thing I remember is 67 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 2: Daddy and Danny and that like like like them now 68 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 2: driving cars and doing their own thing. Like dam where 69 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 2: did that time go? As the time disappeared because I 70 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 2: made it disappear. So you said, you don't know if 71 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 2: I'm single or not. I want to just tell you, 72 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 2: I said, oh. 73 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 3: Just said you the day she came, you got a 74 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,119 Speaker 3: bunch of white women? 75 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 2: How many three? Four? Samantha Temmy Amber. Yeah, I want 76 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 2: to ask you a woman question. I was dating a 77 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 2: woman one time, and as a serial cheater, I was 78 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 2: not cheating, but the ex text me I love you, 79 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 2: and I responded, I love you back. She said, I 80 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 2: was emotional cheating. So my question, is there such name 81 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 2: emotional cheating? 82 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 4: Of course No, yeah, of course I don't. 83 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 5: I don't. I don't think that that that's what she said. 84 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 5: I don't know that that in and of itself. We 85 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 5: had a big friended it for emotional cheating. What was 86 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 5: the context that she just texts you I love you 87 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 5: and that was it? 88 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,480 Speaker 2: She said I love you and I said I love 89 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,679 Speaker 2: you back, and she picked up, oh you still love you? 90 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 5: You weren't in love with your ex? You just loved 91 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 5: her and. 92 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 2: Love I love you to everybody. But she she's good 93 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 2: to me, like, I'm not gonna be like, oh, I 94 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 2: got to know I love you too. I don't. 95 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 5: I don't think that that's emotional cheating. I just think 96 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:39,480 Speaker 5: that that's inappropriate. 97 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 2: Okay, but how is it emotional cheating if you don't 98 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 2: know my emotions. I'm with you, she says, I love you. 99 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 2: I don't want to be rude because we were nice, 100 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 2: we had good times. Now I love you back. That's it. 101 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 2: It's not I love you. You know. She's going to 102 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 2: Miami just I love you back, to thank you, and 103 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 2: that was it she picked. 104 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 5: I don't think that that was emotional cheating. I think 105 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 5: that that was inappropriate. It for me to say I 106 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 5: love you back, absolutely absolutely. If you're committed, if you're 107 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 5: committed to a woman and she's committed to you, those 108 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 5: words are only meant for her. It's not meant for 109 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 5: anyone else. It's your child, your mother. 110 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 2: If that was one of my ex wife and we 111 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 2: got five beautiful kids together, and she says, I love you, 112 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,279 Speaker 2: and even though it didn't work out, I'm not allowed 113 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 2: to say I love you back. 114 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 5: Even though I'm text. If a person randomly texts you 115 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 5: I love you, it's not because she was just laying 116 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 5: in bed and having those nostalgic moments and decided to 117 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 5: send you a text. That's not what happens. She's sending 118 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,280 Speaker 5: you a message. It's very direct, it's very specific, it's 119 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 5: very short, and if you play into that, then it's inappropriate. 120 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,239 Speaker 2: She was fishing. I never heard the word emotional treating. 121 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,359 Speaker 2: I got treated worse than when I was cheating. For 122 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 2: emotional treating. I'm like, I'm not even doing anything. 123 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 5: Big difference. If your man has sex with someone that 124 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 5: he doesn't care about, but doesn't have sex, but seek 125 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 5: speaks every day to a woman that he does care 126 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 5: about and that he is emotionally attached to, because a 127 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,359 Speaker 5: woman will write it off like okay, that was his 128 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 5: primal instinct to have sex with someone that he was 129 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,359 Speaker 5: attracted to, which is terrible in and of itself. But 130 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 5: someone that he loves, someone that he cares about, that 131 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 5: he never was even physical with, but he feels something 132 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 5: for her that hurts more, that cuts deeper. And that's 133 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 5: where the idea of emotional cheating comes from. It's if 134 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 5: I think that you have feelings for someone else, and 135 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 5: you act on those feelings by the way of giving 136 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 5: of yourself to them, giving of your feelings and your emotions. Yes, 137 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,279 Speaker 5: there is such thing as emotional cheating, because that hurts. 138 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 2: More well coming from you. I will, I will respect 139 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: it because I always just said that I don't care 140 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 2: what no woman says. I don't believe that. 141 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 3: Let me ask you a question. If she got a 142 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:54,040 Speaker 3: text from my ex and she responded, I love you too. 143 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 2: That's a good question. But I'm not giving on the phone. 144 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 2: And then I always say, when I read something, know 145 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 2: what I'm reading. You know what I'm saying. 146 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 5: What does that mean? 147 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 3: Like context? 148 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 2: Context? Who is it? 149 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 5: Okay? 150 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 2: Context, who is it? Because you said in this gear, 151 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 2: I will I will talk to respect it like I 152 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 2: never respected them, Like there's no such thing. I don't 153 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 2: care to say, because my thing is you have to 154 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 2: know my emotions. I don't have emotions for this person. 155 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 2: Just because I. 156 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:28,239 Speaker 5: Responded no, no, that sounds good, but that's not no. 157 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 5: It was like because the fact that you're engaging with 158 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 5: another woman. 159 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 2: But I'm just responding this gig, I love I love 160 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 2: you too, I say, it's. 161 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 5: Not I love that but not in that. I'm not 162 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 5: talking about that. I'm talking about just the topic of 163 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 5: emotional cheating. I don't need to be a psychic and 164 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 5: know your emotions or extract that from you. The fact 165 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 5: that you're engaging with another woman on a personal level, 166 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 5: that's emotional cheating. You see what I mean? 167 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 2: And do you think men should be emotional? Because I 168 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 2: said I don't think men should be emotional and got 169 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 2: killed for it one day? 170 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 5: What do you mean men shouldn't be emotional? Emotional? In 171 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 5: what way? 172 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 2: I tell you white problems? The reason and the reason 173 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 2: why I say because as a man, you protect, you, provide, 174 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 2: and love. If I tell you my problems, then we 175 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 2: both have problems. It's my job to make sure. 176 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 5: We don't have problems. I don't not disagree with you 177 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 5: more or disagree with that notion more. My husband is 178 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 5: a provider, he's a protector, and we share everything. He 179 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 5: shares his problems, I share mine. We are a team. 180 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 5: We work together, we support each other, we uplift each other, 181 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 5: we help each other. I have to be this man's 182 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 5: soft place to land. How can I be a soft 183 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 5: place for him if he doesn't communicate to me what 184 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 5: he's feeling. So what because I'm a woman, my husband 185 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 5: has to be out on his own on an island, 186 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 5: dealing with this world. It's hard enough to be a 187 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 5: man in this world. That's even harder to be a 188 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 5: black man. So everything that comes along with that. What 189 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 5: Because he's a man, he's supposed to deal with that 190 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 5: by himself. Yeah. No, I couldn't disagree with that more 191 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 5: because I got. 192 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 2: Killed for that. 193 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 3: Not who I agree would. If your wife, your girl 194 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 3: is your best friend, now you're supposed to make sure that. 195 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 5: And that's why you have to be an empowered human 196 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 5: being and a secure human being, because if you listen 197 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 5: to that and you give credit to that, you don't 198 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,319 Speaker 5: consider the source, and you're susceptible and you live life 199 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 5: like that, you're living under a force. 200 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 2: Because to come back to what you said, women have 201 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 2: to go through a lot too, And I don't want 202 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,959 Speaker 2: to have to put that on you. Let me handle 203 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 2: it because you've got to deal with the kids, you 204 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,839 Speaker 2: got to deal with that, you've got to do all 205 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 2: the stuff you're going through. I don't want to put 206 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 2: extra on you. So that's why I'm not emotional. I'll 207 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 2: hold it back, especially if I can take care of it. 208 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 2: I'll just take care of it because I want you 209 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,599 Speaker 2: to have just like you want him to have a 210 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 2: easy left. I want my wife Ei. So that was 211 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 2: my whole thought process. I don't want that you emotional leting. 212 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, this is because this is what happened. 213 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: It was us and a country Wayne, and I was like, 214 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: oh no, I tell my wife all the time, and 215 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 1: him and country where we're like, no, I can't tell 216 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,439 Speaker 1: a woman that They're just going to throw it back 217 00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: in my face later. 218 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 4: They'll just use it against me and believe me. 219 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: I just want I want to give Shack a hug, 220 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 1: and I want to tell him it's going to be okay, 221 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 1: you know. 222 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 5: But nope, I just want to say something about that. 223 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 5: You have to you have to know who you're married 224 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 5: to or who your partner is, because if you're with 225 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 5: a woman that will take your emotions and weaponize it 226 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 5: against you, that's not the woman that you want. That's 227 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 5: not that's not a good teammate. 228 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 2: Right. 229 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, But sometimes you don't realize it's that kind of 230 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: a woman until you get into one of those serious situations, 231 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: because they can a long time. 232 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then when you're married too late. 233 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 4: Uh Man, that was great. 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