Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 3: time and a terminol and gay a.
Speaker 4: We want to send you off InStyle. We want to
Speaker 4: welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 2: We scared her? Was it fine? Now?
Speaker 5: Porn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need with?
Speaker 6: Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 6: This is Chris Fairbank.
Speaker 1: This is Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 2: We are doing this from our houses because we're responsible.
Speaker 2: Although I did get some new masks. Look at that
Speaker 2: Chris reversible.
Speaker 1: I had that shirt in eighth grade.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of plaid.
Speaker 1: Is it felt kind of flannel?
Speaker 2: Because yeah, it's warm. The two layers. This one's more
Speaker 2: of a cotton with some flannel. Okay, But then this one,
Speaker 2: this guy I ordered this one. It's got little pockets
Speaker 2: for carbon filters. It looks like.
Speaker 7: Boys underpants for all the listeners boys underpants mask.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they look exactly like fancy underpants. It's good
Speaker 2: to open a podcast with a show and tell. Yeah,
Speaker 2: visual objects.
Speaker 7: We are of visuals based listening only podcast.
Speaker 2: It's great. You know why. I thought, just because I'm
Speaker 2: looking at you, which isn't our standard, no means of
Speaker 2: recording that I could just start showing things.
Speaker 6: Should we record poor podcasts?
Speaker 7: Should we record like this where we both turn to
Speaker 7: our left so that we're out about it?
Speaker 2: I really it, oddly, I'm not even kidding. Feels more
Speaker 2: comfortable with me doing this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's easier to listen.
Speaker 2: Oh. I like how your hand is an invisible steering wheel.
Speaker 7: I'm my one hand is at eleven, but my other
Speaker 7: hand's holding a diet coke, so I can't put it
Speaker 7: at too right now.
Speaker 6: But normally we should the product, the product placement.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Oh, I've been paid three million dollars to hold this
Speaker 7: can of coke during this podcast.
Speaker 6: You keep getting side sponsors for millions.
Speaker 7: I'm so sorry. I'm going to cut you in for
Speaker 7: seventy dollars.
Speaker 2: No, I have my own. I've been Blank's spray bottle.
Speaker 6: They get they all right, Chris.
Speaker 2: Just picked up the closest object, all right. I don't
Speaker 2: have any side sponsors? Can I have been doing cameos.
Speaker 1: Yes, tell us about it, but its fun.
Speaker 7: Wait before you go into that story, we are just
Speaker 7: back up a little bit so that we can get
Speaker 7: a visual on the hair and a hair check in,
Speaker 7: because it's been two weeks.
Speaker 2: And it is I've tamed it a bit because I
Speaker 2: have a hair mask, but it is, uh, it's getting
Speaker 2: out of control.
Speaker 7: It's guys listening at home. It looks like Chris has
Speaker 7: piled up some it.
Speaker 2: Like sheep. It looks like you shaved a.
Speaker 7: Black sheep and then took his shavings and led them
Speaker 7: to your head in a pile.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really looks like Yes, my friend was really
Speaker 2: proud of his hair and he thought he'd sell it
Speaker 2: to a wig maker, and he put it in his
Speaker 2: hiplock bag and kept it for you. And then one
Speaker 2: day we were all drinking at his house and he
Speaker 2: pulled it out and we put his hair on our
Speaker 2: heads and it was red curly hair, just like.
Speaker 6: This, but you could mold it.
Speaker 2: And we all were wearing we couldn't stop laughing, and
Speaker 2: we all had bright red curly hair, yeah, and beards
Speaker 2: like you just stick it to your face.
Speaker 1: Wherever you want.
Speaker 7: You're like that magnetic guy where you can drag the
Speaker 7: magnet things all over and give him hair and a
Speaker 7: mustache whatever you want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's really a form of sculpting. But uh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's out of control.
Speaker 6: But why not.
Speaker 2: I was gonna shave it the other day just bald,
Speaker 2: because why not that too?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 1: Wait, but can you pull it out to show us
Speaker 1: how the biggest it could be?
Speaker 2: Oh? I mean yeah, yet, like if.
Speaker 1: I pick it out, if you do a pick there
Speaker 1: or some kind of a I don't.
Speaker 2: Have a pick.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: The only pick I have is my bag of plastic
Speaker 2: and it was dissected from a fish. If you remember
Speaker 2: this is uh Chris, it looks like he's wearing a wig.
Speaker 2: It looks like you're at a party. We why the
Speaker 2: wig bit works so well when I first started comedy, Yes,
Speaker 2: because when I went to pull this one off, it
Speaker 2: was my real hair that's enjoyable, well really nice. It's
Speaker 2: it's just getting warm and I kind of want to
Speaker 2: shave it off. Either that or get insulation in my apartment.
Speaker 2: I think I'm just gonna because they don't want to
Speaker 2: spend any money, the people that run my place, so
Speaker 2: I think I'll get some guy to you know, they
Speaker 2: shoot the pink panther up there with like a blower.
Speaker 1: You're going to just your apartment.
Speaker 2: I'm already hot. Yeah, and it's we haven't even seen
Speaker 2: the peak of summer heat.
Speaker 7: Right, But what's wrong with them? Like getting kind of
Speaker 7: a free standing air conditioner type of thing.
Speaker 2: I have one. I have one.
Speaker 6: It's right, I'm looking at it. It was a nice one.
Speaker 2: It rated well. I have it on seventy degrees and
Speaker 2: it will air condition my house up to my nose.
Speaker 2: Like I was doing chin ups the other day with
Speaker 2: the air kun. I did five of them, but hey,
Speaker 2: that's five more than zero. Yeah, baby steps, baby chin ups. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they were a little baby But it's cool down here.
Speaker 2: Lift up total extreme heat the top the like heat
Speaker 2: hot air of course does rise. We know that it
Speaker 2: is very drastic in my apartment, Okay. And it's like
Speaker 2: a little worried about getting insulation shot up there? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think it does. You should be Why would Why
Speaker 2: do you think I should be?
Speaker 7: Because I think it would be. Well, it's do you
Speaker 7: have individual addicts? Like when you're saying shot up there,
Speaker 7: what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's like a little gable in my roof and
Speaker 2: it's a tiny window and you can just stick a
Speaker 2: hose up there and maybe it would feed into other
Speaker 2: parts to the building, but mine is kind of a
Speaker 2: free standing part. Like my whole building is shaped like
Speaker 2: a ue or a shoe horse, except square angles, so
Speaker 2: not a shoe horse.
Speaker 8: But also what's a shoe horse? A shoe horse, a horseshoe,
Speaker 8: A horseshoe. Oh my god, that's the heat. That's the
Speaker 8: heat talking to this room.
Speaker 2: That's the hair talking. Yeah, makes me do word switcherots.
Speaker 2: A shoe horse, it's a sea creature that you put
Speaker 2: on the bottom of a horse. Oh that's scary.
Speaker 6: Horseshoes shape, yes, but I yeah, I could do it.
Speaker 2: But I watched this Forensic Files where the mom was
Speaker 2: accused of murdering her two little kids who died in
Speaker 2: a fire. And then finally because they had arson investigators
Speaker 2: look at it and they're like, oh, this is an arson,
Speaker 2: this is where the fire started. They put her in prison,
Speaker 2: and then an actual fire investigator found out that the insulation.
Speaker 6: Was had some there was a leak in the ceiling.
Speaker 2: The insulation got rinsed of all of its fire retardant coating.
Speaker 7: It.
Speaker 6: And then they showed the wiring and it touched these wires.
Speaker 2: It's exactly what I have, just these aluminum wires with
Speaker 2: fabric insulation that have crumbled off.
Speaker 1: That are from literally from nineteen twenty five.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's why my oven turns off. I'll bake
Speaker 2: something for ten minutes, the whole oven turns off. The
Speaker 2: wiring is just like huh uh, yeah, so maybe it
Speaker 2: would be a fire hazard for me to shoot a
Speaker 2: bunch of stuffing up into my shoe horse.
Speaker 7: Also, it's because the quarantine and the pandemic. I bet
Speaker 7: you the people that own that building, the last thing
Speaker 7: they're worried about is getting some nice insulation for one guy,
Speaker 7: because they're probably like, do we have to leave town
Speaker 7: because no one's going to be able to pay rent
Speaker 7: or whatever?
Speaker 2: Right, I who knows if the other tenants are even paying,
Speaker 2: because I don't think they have to.
Speaker 1: I hope you mean for your insulation or rent for.
Speaker 2: Rent in general. Like they're probably seeing less income as is,
Speaker 2: so they're not about to splurge on my ass.
Speaker 7: No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, although about this time last year they did have
Speaker 2: some men come in and look at the place. Like appraising.
Speaker 2: I think it was for wiring and insulation, and I'm like, amen,
Speaker 2: that never happened.
Speaker 7: Maybe let's get you down off that chin up bar
Speaker 7: and let's get you doing some low squats and things
Speaker 7: that get you closer to the cold, cold ground.
Speaker 2: What about that for your workouts. It sounds like you're
Speaker 2: making a joke, but that's exactly what I've been doing
Speaker 2: a lot of sit ups, push ups and then kettlebell
Speaker 2: tiny squats, which you know I can do all that
Speaker 2: under four feet. Yes, that's right.
Speaker 7: I would like a brag right now. It's not the
Speaker 7: coolest thing to talk about. But my poolman came yesterday.
Speaker 7: I mean, this is only for the one percent that
Speaker 7: listens to our party.
Speaker 2: A pool man or pool boy.
Speaker 7: Well, uh, he's he referred to himself as a pool man,
Speaker 7: but I in my mind call him the pool boy
Speaker 7: because he's young and cute and I think, oh, yeah,
Speaker 7: he's great and he has when when I bought the house,
Speaker 7: the pool man who was here before was a guy
Speaker 7: that clearly has done it like all his life and
Speaker 7: has a business. And then like three months ago he
Speaker 7: came to me and said, I'm retiring, and so this
Speaker 7: guy's taking over.
Speaker 1: And I was like, sounds great.
Speaker 2: So he then Thomas came over.
Speaker 7: Literally he is like he's a surfer and he has
Speaker 7: these cool tattoos and he's like super nice.
Speaker 2: So the first time it was his and you just
Speaker 2: have windows to look at him, do you look at him?
Speaker 7: Oh? Yeah, So I thought you were gonna say, like
Speaker 7: to do like shows for him, like, oh, I didn't
Speaker 7: realize I was wearing my classiest lingerie. But I will
Speaker 7: say that the first time, the first time it was
Speaker 7: him by himself was the first week of the quarantine,
Speaker 7: and it was when it was very mysterious and like
Speaker 7: very very scary, and so I had all that liquor
Speaker 7: left over from my Christmas party. So halfway through him
Speaker 7: being done with the job, I just went out with
Speaker 7: a handle of Jack Daniels and was like, hey, do
Speaker 7: you drink And he's like yeah, and I'm like, hey
Speaker 7: take this because I don't drink, and this is what
Speaker 7: I have, all this stuff left in my house from
Speaker 7: a party.
Speaker 2: And he's like, I know it wasn't your goal or
Speaker 2: anything to get him drunk, but I think that was
Speaker 2: a good idea. Okay, go on, I mean, here's the thing.
Speaker 7: I didn't think about that until I was walking away,
Speaker 7: so I put it down on like that table out there.
Speaker 7: I was like, yeah, you have fun and just relax
Speaker 7: and we're all stressed, so take some stress or whatever.
Speaker 7: And he's like, yeah, thanks so much, Karen. And then
Speaker 7: as I'm.
Speaker 1: Walking in the house, I'm I've gotta like almost like.
Speaker 7: The camera of life turned around and showed me myself
Speaker 7: where I'm like, oh my god, what a disgusting cougar
Speaker 7: I am where I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, hey, hey, Junior, Hey you want to drink?
Speaker 7: Like I was like, oh my god, get in the
Speaker 7: house and shut the door as soon as you can.
Speaker 2: I was, I'm school from high school. You can't tell beer.
Speaker 7: Hey there's a I know you're just a poolman, but
Speaker 7: do you want to come? There's some stuff in my
Speaker 7: back bathroom.
Speaker 1: I want you to see.
Speaker 2: Like it it felt bad you. Your delivery did not
Speaker 2: suggest that. I bet you're like, Hey, the world's ending.
Speaker 2: Do you want some whiskey? Yeah that's not a saltree,
Speaker 2: but I will. Can I get a doctress?
Speaker 1: What about me?
Speaker 2: Is?
Speaker 7: But then last week when he came, this week, when
Speaker 7: he came, sorry I caught Frank out of the corner
Speaker 7: my eye and his tail was wagging or I'm like,
Speaker 7: do you like that story?
Speaker 2: What's up? But he came this week and.
Speaker 7: As he was walking up the steps, I ran out,
Speaker 7: basically because I wanted I was like, can you please
Speaker 7: turn my pool heater on finally so I can start
Speaker 7: swimming again. But I went out to talk to him
Speaker 7: and he was coming up the steps taking his air
Speaker 7: pods out of his ears, and.
Speaker 1: He goes, I was just listening to you on Spotify
Speaker 1: have a really good voice.
Speaker 7: And then I was like what It was so hilarious
Speaker 7: and cute, like he's just a lovely you know, that
Speaker 7: surfer vibe of like, hey man, everything's chill all the time.
Speaker 7: It's my favorite personality type and it's this guy one
Speaker 7: hundred percent.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's the personality type I wanted when I
Speaker 2: was a nervous, over anxious Montana kid that knew I
Speaker 2: was born in California. I'm like, one day I'm going
Speaker 2: to be a blonde, straight haired surfer pool boy, and
Speaker 2: it just never happened. I don't have the right personality
Speaker 2: for it. It's not like a personality thing.
Speaker 1: It is, well, it is that kind of thing where
Speaker 1: and it's and it is skateeboarders too.
Speaker 7: I mean, I'm sure you know tons of people like that,
Speaker 7: but it's that thing we're like when someone's yelled. I
Speaker 7: saw a teenage boy do this once when I was
Speaker 7: also a very anxious, angry kind of high, just like
Speaker 7: all of the world baffled me kind of and it
Speaker 7: created so much tension where it's just like, the fuck
Speaker 7: is going on all the time, and this skateboarder some
Speaker 7: somebody like tried to start yelling at him and he
Speaker 7: was like, dude, I know, man, And I was just like,
Speaker 7: how do you do that?
Speaker 1: How do you agree with the person attacking you.
Speaker 2: And like oh, it's the best and make it go
Speaker 2: away so ahead of its time. Yes, I keep telling
Speaker 2: myself I'm going to start doing that rather than fighting back,
Speaker 2: just go oh, I know I can be the worst. Yes,
Speaker 2: I'm super not super sarcastic, just agree fully, earnestly right.
Speaker 2: But that's not like I know I Oh, I did
Speaker 2: it the other day. There's a new skate I've been
Speaker 2: skateboarding with other forty year old friends. We keep our distance,
Speaker 2: we say it's really fun.
Speaker 1: And mask what's at and you wear your mask, I do.
Speaker 2: I do it gets hot and sweaty. I think a
Speaker 2: lot of people, just as a side note, are realizing
Speaker 2: they have bad breath and it is a bit of
Speaker 2: a wake up call to have it bouncing up your nose.
Speaker 2: So I think with these you mask purchases and people
Speaker 2: making them for us, the flossing and getting special breath
Speaker 2: and gum health watch, because I've gotten better, I've been
Speaker 2: really getting after my.
Speaker 6: Talking about flossing is gross, but anyway, everyone do it.
Speaker 2: Anyway. So we're skating, but we were next to a
Speaker 2: tennis court, which is the quietest sport ever, and a
Speaker 2: lady was like, oh, are you guys going to be
Speaker 2: doing that? And I'm like, I know it's loud. Tennis
Speaker 2: is so quiet and skateboarding is loud. And she's like,
Speaker 2: oh no, no, I love it. I love the sound
Speaker 2: of it. And I was hoping you'd stay and I
Speaker 2: didn't even know. I've never heard. It was such a
Speaker 2: reversal because I was like, I know, we're skateboard and
Speaker 2: it's loud, clickety clack, isn't that a bummer? And she's like, no,
Speaker 2: I miss my son or I don't know what I
Speaker 2: don't know what her reason for. Esthetically, while she played tennis,
Speaker 2: she said she enjoyed because there's always skateboarders there by
Speaker 2: the by the tennis courts there in Pasadena.
Speaker 7: So was she also killer age? Do you think she
Speaker 7: might have been cougaring you? We're everywhere, Yeah, we're everywhere.
Speaker 2: A handle of old old turkey, wild fashioned, wild fashioned,
Speaker 2: old turkey, wild fashion.
Speaker 7: What if I put that handle down in front of him?
Speaker 7: And I was like, do three shots right now? Like
Speaker 7: everything about that move, which was.
Speaker 1: Not in my mind to move. I was like, the
Speaker 1: world is ending? Do you want something to help you
Speaker 1: numb it out?
Speaker 9: Like that was?
Speaker 1: And then as I walked away, I was like, gross, gross.
Speaker 6: Well you're not. I mean, it's funny because I I drink,
Speaker 6: you know that.
Speaker 2: And sometimes I'm like, why am I out of boredom
Speaker 2: going down this bar at the bottom of my street
Speaker 2: because it's fun and there's social interaction and there's I'll
Speaker 2: run into people there.
Speaker 6: Now that that's not on the table.
Speaker 2: It's weird because I've noticed a lot of people on
Speaker 2: Instagram or whatever have been drinking through this thing because
Speaker 2: it's scary, yep, and they're bored.
Speaker 7: Yes, and no, and there's no repercussions, Like you can
Speaker 7: get ship face in your house and you might trip
Speaker 7: and fall, but like no one will see you, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the next day you don't have to wake
Speaker 2: up for anything. But then, oddly I've been more sober
Speaker 2: and healthy than I not healthy necessarily, but not drinking
Speaker 2: this whole time. Unless there's a zoom party or show
Speaker 2: where everyone has to be on and I can't summon
Speaker 2: it because I haven't been practicing with any kind of interaction.
Speaker 2: I have to like get drunk to do comedy into
Speaker 2: my computer.
Speaker 7: Well, but that makes sense. I do not know how
Speaker 7: people are doing zoom comedy shows.
Speaker 2: I so respect it.
Speaker 1: I so admire that kind kind of like dedication.
Speaker 7: But the idea that like you can't hear anybody laughing,
Speaker 7: there's no there's no audience audio, right, there's I did.
Speaker 2: One the other night, the Blind Barber show, like Dave
Speaker 2: Andy Peters shows, and yeah, and he was so fun
Speaker 2: to watch. Hose sayun just kind of monitored. Sometimes people
Speaker 2: would get bombarded, but everyone was in the room or whatever.
Speaker 2: Like the entire audience, which was two hundred plus people
Speaker 2: were in there and just hopefully had their MIC's off,
Speaker 2: but then all of a sudden someone would get on
Speaker 2: their kids are yelling and there's a dog barking, and
Speaker 2: we would all just laugh because some guy with a
Speaker 2: microphone and loud children all of a sudden lobbed on
Speaker 2: as an audience member.
Speaker 7: Wait, sorry, because I don't I've not seen one of
Speaker 7: these shows. I just see the retweets or whatever about it.
Speaker 7: It's just what we're doing. But but there's not people.
Speaker 7: You can't see the people, can you if you scroll over?
Speaker 10: No?
Speaker 2: Really, I know I haven't done a lot of them
Speaker 2: that way, and I wouldn't suggest it for anyone doing
Speaker 2: any Zoom comedy shows. But at least you could hear
Speaker 2: laughter from like, yeah, I would tell a joke and
Speaker 2: fifteen people were laughing because they were also in on
Speaker 2: the call. And there's other ways to do it using
Speaker 2: this timing wise, and then they broadcast it using twitch
Speaker 2: or something, and then you can see comments and donations.
Speaker 2: I mean, I got one hundred and fifty bucks that
Speaker 2: night doing a show. I really get that kind of
Speaker 2: money doing stand up in front of humans where I
Speaker 2: have to drive, so I'm kind of and as awkward
Speaker 2: as it was in the beginning. I'm kind of getting
Speaker 2: used to it now, Yeah, just like John Oliver is
Speaker 2: getting used to doing a monologue. And you know how
Speaker 2: I always compare myself to John Oliver.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying you're the British John Oliver. That's what
Speaker 1: I always say.
Speaker 6: I've always said.
Speaker 2: That or even out a show, but I uh, yeah
Speaker 2: it you have to just get used to the silence.
Speaker 2: David Spade is really good at it when he does
Speaker 2: his monologues. He just milks that awkwardness with some side comments. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I like that more than with an audience. I've
Speaker 2: been enjoying a quiet no audience SNL. I've never watched
Speaker 2: Saturday Night Live, not for ten years, and I've been
Speaker 2: watching it now because I like the new zoom Yes Virgin.
Speaker 2: It shows how creative.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's so creative. Like I watched because I just
Speaker 7: watched the clips people retweet. It's almost like I let
Speaker 7: Twitter call the best ones and then retweet them and
Speaker 7: then I watched this.
Speaker 2: It's a good way to do it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, right, but what's up with that that from home?
Speaker 7: We're cutting to Fred Ormison with the very small sex
Speaker 7: of U.
Speaker 2: I mean that was the green screen the green screen
Speaker 2: Adida's tracksuit.
Speaker 6: I think that was Chris Carnell or whoever, Jason.
Speaker 1: I thought it was Jason. What's his name?
Speaker 2: Yes, today, that's right.
Speaker 7: Uh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never really loved that sketch, and that was
Speaker 2: the first time I loved it.
Speaker 1: It was so funny.
Speaker 7: Also, DJ Collein was really funny the way he was
Speaker 7: like just sitting and waiting and irritated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it made me. I've been looking for a reason
Speaker 2: to like this guy. He's I don't know anything about him.
Speaker 2: To me, he's like Pitbull but a DJ, and I'm
Speaker 2: not that you know, I'm not a big DJ guy.
Speaker 2: Wait what, but I immediately liked him because of the
Speaker 2: way he was playing it. Yeah, he played it.
Speaker 1: He's he is a natural actor. And Charles Barkley clearly
Speaker 1: is not all oh my.
Speaker 2: God, Berkeley really stung stuck it up. Berkley is used.
Speaker 7: To more of a His performance was circus level, where
Speaker 7: he was like the eye rolls were so huge, where
Speaker 7: it's like, are you playing.
Speaker 1: To one thousand people right now? Because you really are
Speaker 1: right next to your own camera. It was hilarious.
Speaker 6: Yeah, suddenly he was in the bright lights of a
Speaker 6: high school production.
Speaker 7: Yes, it reminds me of one that used to make
Speaker 7: Kareem Abdul Jabbar do stuff on like variety shows, and
Speaker 7: he was nightmarishly terrible because I think he was a
Speaker 7: very intelligent person who had probably no interest in like
Speaker 7: doing comedy bits with Bob Hope or whatever shit they
Speaker 7: would make him do. And yeah, he was just as
Speaker 7: flat and kind of wild eyed, like oh shit, what's
Speaker 7: happening right now?
Speaker 2: And he's joking me by sitting near him. Kareem map
Speaker 2: Dueldebar on an airplane, which was nice because he was
Speaker 2: in airplane the movie Yes, which he is kind of
Speaker 2: a grump, he's It was sweet seeing him and he
Speaker 2: is eight feet tall, still his human specimen, but he
Speaker 2: was and he was sitting in coach. We were all
Speaker 2: going to that Johnny Carson festival in like Northfolk, Illinois
Speaker 2: or I forget Nebraska. We were all one was trying
Speaker 2: to talk to him and he was like no, he
Speaker 2: would just say no to I love it and I yeah,
Speaker 2: So even back then, he's not going to cross his
Speaker 2: eyes and be silly for Bob Hope. No, maybe he
Speaker 2: knew about how that guy would buy neighborhoods from what
Speaker 2: was your story. He bought entire neighborhoods because Vietnamese people
Speaker 2: were living in them.
Speaker 7: He during World War two, they interned all these Japanese
Speaker 7: people because they suddenly even though they were Americans, Japanese Americans.
Speaker 7: A bunch of Japanese Americans got interned because just in
Speaker 7: case they were going to like turn coat for Japan,
Speaker 7: and so they were literally sent to prisons, prison camps.
Speaker 7: And then Bob Hope went in and bought up all
Speaker 7: their all the land they owned in uh, like all
Speaker 7: the they owned a bunch of like citrus orchards down here,
Speaker 7: and that's why Bob Hope, like Bob Hope started to
Speaker 7: look a lake essentially, but it's like just swaths of
Speaker 7: land that he went and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 7: those guys are arrested, so now this is mine. I
Speaker 7: didn't know they were also, that's alleged. I don't no, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 7: but yeah it was. They were detained because of World
Speaker 7: War two.
Speaker 2: That's insane, It's fucked. It's entire He was making it
Speaker 2: great back then, huh. I mean, you know the way
Speaker 2: I mean it. Hopefully our listeners do too.
Speaker 7: You know what makes me laugh is and I love
Speaker 7: Andy Peters so much, and he asked me to do
Speaker 7: that same show, and he was.
Speaker 2: Like, please do it.
Speaker 1: Chris is doing it.
Speaker 7: I love when people say that to me, Like if like, oh, well,
Speaker 7: then I'll do Oh that means I now have fifteen
Speaker 7: minutes of comedy to perform.
Speaker 2: It's like, I mean, it depends on what it is.
Speaker 2: Because when someone asks if you will do a show,
Speaker 2: when they're asking me, I'm like, don't put me in
Speaker 2: that position. Of course I'm not. Basically it has to
Speaker 2: be the other way around. I'm realizing. But someone asked
Speaker 2: me to do are we doing some voice over time?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I'm excited about Yes.
Speaker 2: See that'll be fun. Yes, that'll be Really it's a
Speaker 2: situation like that, you and I are so used to
Speaker 2: talking to each other. That's what I've always thought, speaking
Speaker 2: of Saturday Night Live, why wouldn't they just hire a
Speaker 2: sketch group that was already great together and have that
Speaker 2: be the cast. Why are they always picking from different
Speaker 2: groups and go with a group that actually performs well together.
Speaker 7: I've always sounding like, you've never been to UCB and
Speaker 7: watched a Roten sketch where you're like, four of these
Speaker 7: six people should never be on a stage again.
Speaker 1: Where two are you know, Kristin Wig level right.
Speaker 2: But I've seen groups where clearly, whether or not they're
Speaker 2: all super talented, they are so good at working together
Speaker 2: that it works. Yeah, they know each other's strong suits,
Speaker 2: they know you know, it's like like the Birthday Boys
Speaker 2: or whoever.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: There's a bunch of groups.
Speaker 1: Growlings are like that because they work.
Speaker 7: They have to work together for so long that by
Speaker 7: the time they're doing main stage shows at the Groundlings,
Speaker 7: it's I went to a Groundling show one time. My
Speaker 7: friend Joe was in it and he was so fortune
Speaker 7: Fimestro was also in his group there. It was such
Speaker 7: a good group and their sketches were totally hilarious. The
Speaker 7: characters were amazing. And actually Kristin Wig was at the show.
Speaker 7: I was at the They were there kind of scouting.
Speaker 7: Oh wow, first sur live. But this was like less
Speaker 7: than ten years ago.
Speaker 1: Then like, yes, I would say, we might get some
Speaker 1: dog barks because someone's walking. Oh no, they're both asleep.
Speaker 2: Oh we're going to hear a conference call. In a minute.
Speaker 2: I hear her logging on our walds aret.
Speaker 1: Then I can't hear anything.
Speaker 6: Okay, good, oh yeah, microphone.
Speaker 7: Oh that's right technology. But anyway, it was just so
Speaker 7: impressive because and I think my friend Jordan Black was
Speaker 7: the director of that particular group of people, but clearly
Speaker 7: they have it down and have been doing it for
Speaker 7: so long, like Second City or whatever, where it's like
Speaker 7: they make the people work together, they group them particularly
Speaker 7: for their all their different qualities and stuff. I mean,
Speaker 7: good sketch is amazing when it.
Speaker 2: I love it because there's so much bad sketch and
Speaker 2: especially improv. I when you see it and it's good,
Speaker 2: it blows my mind. Yeah, because I was involved with
Speaker 2: bad improv for you know, I was caused it so
Speaker 2: many times that I really appreciate it when it's good.
Speaker 2: So then my point is, why just hire one of
Speaker 2: those people when you see a group I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, Well, let's ask him. Lorne Michaels, you're in the
Speaker 1: show right now.
Speaker 2: You got here, he's in the room.
Speaker 6: Why do you always have him over?
Speaker 2: I want you, I want you to have a nice
Speaker 2: way to find out he's your pool boy just drunk.
Speaker 2: You're like, all, I ate this baby, Karen. You said
Speaker 2: he was young.
Speaker 7: What do you what?
Speaker 1: You're not making any Canadian are you.
Speaker 2: Just a Canadian and espeedo and it's Lorne michaels very good. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I wondered if you you're Your old house, which was
Speaker 2: a normal house, had a normal pool, and it was
Speaker 2: cool that you had it, but I wouldn't get in
Speaker 2: it all the time if I had access to the
Speaker 2: cool looking pool you have now, I guess because the
Speaker 2: water goes all the way to the ledge. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that is that infinity or whatever.
Speaker 7: No, I mean no, it still has a lip like
Speaker 7: an old fashioned pool, but it's just a beautifully designed
Speaker 7: like the guys that lived here before me had the
Speaker 7: best taste and so they just did everything exactly perfectly.
Speaker 1: But that I think it's that like I didn't.
Speaker 7: I actually didn't swim in that in my pool, So
Speaker 7: just so the bragging doesn't seem like it's so out
Speaker 7: of control like this second think it is. The second
Speaker 7: I had more pools. People have pools above ground below.
Speaker 7: But the second I had more than like eighty dollars
Speaker 7: in my bank account, I was like, I need a pool.
Speaker 7: Like this second I had enough money to buy a house,
Speaker 7: even though the neighborhood I was looking in my cousin's
Speaker 7: my real estate agent Pete Castro. If anyone in the
Speaker 7: south Land real estate is me, he's the best. But uh,
Speaker 7: he was like Karen, I it's really hard to find
Speaker 7: a house the pool in this area. And I'm like,
Speaker 7: I know what, I just have to I have to
Speaker 7: have it, like I there's It was like a passion
Speaker 7: of mine as a child. It was my favorite thing
Speaker 7: to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I need I I on the World's Most
Speaker 2: Extraordinary Homes, our favorite show, our very favorite show. There
Speaker 2: was a pool. It was just a one lane that
Speaker 2: went around a house like a moat. And imagine that
Speaker 2: just waking up and swimming laps in a and it
Speaker 2: wouldn't be hard to make.
Speaker 6: It's just a trough around your house. I want that
Speaker 6: so bad.
Speaker 7: Wait, was that the one where it went the like
Speaker 7: the the lane of the pool kind of jutted out
Speaker 7: into a courtyard, but it was like a long like
Speaker 7: a capital eye of a pool.
Speaker 2: Yes, that one. It was up in the air. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's the pool I'm talking about. Is on another show. Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm watching multiple how shows. I think I'm into houses.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's no, clearly because you can build and you
Speaker 7: are obviously interior design is a passion of yours I
Speaker 7: didn't know is a huge passion of yours.
Speaker 2: On Tuesday, I'm doing a tour of my house, a
Speaker 2: video podcast thing. I'm very excited. I'm gonna get flowers
Speaker 2: and stuff. It's kind of like grips or whatever, but
Speaker 2: what it's grip as a fox. When I asked me,
Speaker 2: I haven't looked much into it. But when she said
Speaker 2: do you want to do this? I said, yes, I
Speaker 2: actually do. It'll give me a reason to make my
Speaker 2: place nice and clean. And then I've been getting the
Speaker 2: same link to this dollhouse that everyone's been sending me
Speaker 2: that you can and I measured it.
Speaker 6: It'll fit perfectly on my bookshelf.
Speaker 2: And it's got a library in it, kind of like
Speaker 2: the one someone made for my favorite Murder, that diorama
Speaker 2: you guys got.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a smaller scale but it lights up.
Speaker 2: It has little lights in it, and it's super tiny,
Speaker 2: like little beds and little furniture made of wood. You
Speaker 2: put it all together and sand it and paint it
Speaker 2: and it comes together as a giant kit. But it's
Speaker 2: got glass windows. It looks like, uh, a glass house.
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna put it right by my books. Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm so excited. Well, I finally am getting a dollhouse here.
Speaker 2: I know it's gonna say.
Speaker 7: I love like the person you're explaining dollhouses to me,
Speaker 7: where it's like, yeah, this is as a girl, I
Speaker 7: know about it.
Speaker 2: But I know when I say a bed or a couch,
Speaker 2: you're thinking of one in your house. But Karen, this
Speaker 2: is a dollhouse. It's a one sixteenth scale or one
Speaker 2: thirty second. But how do you get a bed into that.
Speaker 2: You're not understanding me. It's a toy for dolls, Karen.
Speaker 2: It's a shoe for horses. It's a it's a tiny
Speaker 2: shoe horse. It's do you know that.
Speaker 7: When I was I feel like seven or six, maybe
Speaker 7: I said yeah. Around that year, my dad and my
Speaker 7: uncle Steve built us a dollhouse made of all the
Speaker 7: materials our house was built out of. So it was
Speaker 7: painted the color the outside of the house was painted
Speaker 7: our blue of our house. And then because my parents
Speaker 7: had just redone the kitchen, so the linoleum from our
Speaker 7: kitchen in our house was in the dollhouse's kitchen.
Speaker 6: The dollhouse was built to the same dimensions.
Speaker 7: Well, no, it was just a dollhouse, but all the
Speaker 7: three purposed pieces of carpet from our house in the dollhouse.
Speaker 7: Linoleum in the dollhouse painted the same color our house.
Speaker 1: It was really cool. It was a great present.
Speaker 2: I'm excited because I already have miniature stuff. I have
Speaker 2: a candelabra, I have these little bottles, I have a
Speaker 2: mic stand. People have been bringing things to shows and
Speaker 2: I'm like, what do I do with these miniatures? And
Speaker 2: now I'll have a little It's so good, it's so funny.
Speaker 2: How I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: Have you ever watched the the I think it's an
Speaker 1: Instagram series or whatever. The tiny chef.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, and he kind of talks in Babbel but
Speaker 7: it kind of makes sense a little bit. And he's
Speaker 7: tiny and he's in he lives in the stump.
Speaker 1: Of a tree.
Speaker 6: You have to watch it.
Speaker 2: I've seen a lot of miniature food being made and
Speaker 2: animated like stop motion. There's a woman that does it
Speaker 2: with wool, like yes, it's like spinning wool is the
Speaker 2: boiling water and it's all stop motion.
Speaker 6: But but I don't know that. I've seen the guy
Speaker 6: in the tree. He's a key bler.
Speaker 7: Then no, no, he's it's just a little guy that
Speaker 7: this woman made and made this whole world, and it
Speaker 7: started on Instagram and it was just kind of little.
Speaker 7: It was a tiny chef making a tiny thing. But
Speaker 7: then it started become like people started talking to him,
Speaker 7: you know, like it started getting really popular.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you have to watch it.
Speaker 7: We my niece Nora loves it so much, and my
Speaker 7: sister is obsessed with it. And apparently Georgia knew them
Speaker 7: because they were fans, like the woman who makes it
Speaker 7: is a fan of my favorite murder. And so when
Speaker 7: my sister and Nora visited, I think it was about
Speaker 7: a year ago, Georgia reached out for me and we
Speaker 7: got to tour their studio where they make it, and everything.
Speaker 7: You would go insane because it's a whole studio of
Speaker 7: everything miniaturized, like everything tiny chef size, and them being
Speaker 7: doing stop motion video around this little felt doll in
Speaker 7: all the little things he does.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 8: It is.
Speaker 2: There's something about that it hypnotically for me, like Wallace
Speaker 2: and Grommet when I was a kid and realized that
Speaker 2: the little brick alleyways and cobblestone streets are just tiny sets. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I already liked claymation and animation already, and I
Speaker 2: didn't realize that's where it comes from. I'm not like
Speaker 2: into dolls everyone. I was out there catching frogs and
Speaker 2: playing with a slingshot, just like all the other good American.
Speaker 1: Boys and snails and puppy dog.
Speaker 2: My sister handed me a doll once to play with it,
Speaker 2: and I popped its head off. That's how maskl and
Speaker 2: I was. But the houses don't get me started. I
Speaker 2: want to play him. I want to shrink down. I
Speaker 2: want to put a mouse in them. I want to watch.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, that's what I was going to talk about.
Speaker 2: Not to Shane. I know that that was all fun.
Speaker 2: I saw a dead rat. I don't know how the
Speaker 2: rat died. It was in the middle of a sidewalk.
Speaker 2: Then another rat was making a ruckus no, and he
Speaker 2: came out and he was dragging his dead buddy into
Speaker 2: the bushes from the street. Why is he doing that
Speaker 2: to what's that?
Speaker 1: I said, screaming medic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or to give him a proper burial. I think
Speaker 2: he knew he was dead. He's like, no, one's going
Speaker 2: to lay in the street. But then I looked online.
Speaker 2: They eat each other. No, it's like a rats will
Speaker 2: eat other rats, not so that you know, vultures don't
Speaker 2: show up a primal level. Not so it's like, so
Speaker 2: they'd end up in a city. I guess right. They
Speaker 2: think the vultures coming no matter what. So they're like,
Speaker 2: time to eat my buddy. I don't usually eat fellow rats,
Speaker 2: but but they do. I have to go get them
Speaker 2: and get rid of the body. Wow, which is to
Speaker 2: me a very high functioning, badass decision, disgusting as it
Speaker 2: may be, and and ruins the fun we were just
Speaker 2: having with dollhouses. But that blows my mind.
Speaker 1: It's that is kind of amazing.
Speaker 7: And you're right, it's like it's it's self sacrifice because
Speaker 7: how upsetting. You're already witnessing your dead friend, and you're like,
Speaker 7: and now, for the good of the group, I have
Speaker 7: to eat him.
Speaker 2: That's yea. I could hear him whimpering. I could hear
Speaker 2: there was disdain in it, for you know, hesitance.
Speaker 9: Self loathing. I gotta do this, I have to do
Speaker 9: it for the good. I didn't watch him eat it good.
Speaker 9: I didn't watch it like some rat on bath salts.
Speaker 9: I just googled and apparently they got to get rid
Speaker 9: of the body.
Speaker 7: That's awful and very pandemic. Y I had a I
Speaker 7: opened the back door. And have you ever seen a
Speaker 7: Jerusalem cricket? I think some people call them potato bugs,
Speaker 7: but they're just humongous, fat bodied, thin legged Steve. Both
Speaker 7: sound like racial Yes, they both sound very questionable.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't think I have heard of Have you
Speaker 6: just huge crickets?
Speaker 7: Yes, but they're but not you know, crickets are kind
Speaker 7: of sleek and slender, and you know, look like they
Speaker 7: could fly.
Speaker 1: Away, like these things with little top hat and cane
Speaker 1: and they sing and of course they were in tuxedo pants.
Speaker 7: But the Jerusalem crickets look like you It would be
Speaker 7: the worst thing to step on with a barefoot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can you do it? Here we go, Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: the background sometimes Oh wow, wow, look at that. I
Speaker 2: don't think I like them. That's like got the ass
Speaker 2: of a june bus.
Speaker 7: It's horrifying. Yes, it's like it looks like it's tarantula.
Speaker 7: It looks almost like a clear tarantula. But they're tiny,
Speaker 7: so it's not too No, no, no, this this one
Speaker 7: was like they're big. This one was like I would
Speaker 7: say as big as my pinky.
Speaker 1: No, and that's not small. It was fucking sitting.
Speaker 7: I opened the door so George could go out in
Speaker 7: the morning, and it was right on the track of
Speaker 7: the sliding glass door, like it was sitting there waiting
Speaker 7: to come in. And then I was like, so, I
Speaker 7: was like, George, frank eat that, Like I was trying
Speaker 7: to point to it. George walked away from it, and
Speaker 7: then it started hauling ass into the house.
Speaker 2: Oh looks, look how big that is?
Speaker 7: All.
Speaker 2: I don't need that. I don't need a handsome that
Speaker 2: was on my doorize.
Speaker 7: I had to take my EL decore and flick that
Speaker 7: thing out of the house because it ran inside. It
Speaker 7: was if you want to be gar, I don't know
Speaker 7: what that Oh the magazine? You know the magazine, Oh EL,
Speaker 7: the Core for Home Decors Home. Yes, yeah, I should
Speaker 7: be reading You know what?
Speaker 2: Why do I have all these regular els you just
Speaker 2: swim swimwear, and I assume pages and pages of El
Speaker 2: McPherson when I could be looking at beautiful couches.
Speaker 1: Oh the decur We're gonna get you. Wait, when is
Speaker 1: is your birthday?
Speaker 2: In June February?
Speaker 1: February fifth, did I say happy birthday to you.
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 2: No one did. We're in the middle of a pandemic.
Speaker 2: No oh, Stephen.
Speaker 1: This morning we had a staff meeting.
Speaker 7: I was like, can we please put every single person's
Speaker 7: birthday in a calendar?
Speaker 6: Because my sister does that for me.
Speaker 2: She makes calendars. It's a way to give me photos
Speaker 2: of of uh my nieces, nephew. But it's also amminder,
Speaker 2: like at least text or call on their birthdays.
Speaker 6: Yes, and I still because I don't look who looks
Speaker 6: at a paper calendar?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Or who goes into their home office I don't.
Speaker 2: Or who cares about other people's birthday?
Speaker 7: Not me?
Speaker 6: It's it's I'm bad at that. I'm bad at names.
Speaker 2: Uh, I'm I've been watching because I watched all the
Speaker 2: stuff that I google. That's good. I'm out of that,
Speaker 2: so I'm rewatching like True Detective and everything. I could
Speaker 2: start reading books, but maybe they'll seem more enticing once
Speaker 2: there's a dollhouse over there.
Speaker 6: But I the first season A True Detective is so
Speaker 6: good and shows.
Speaker 2: Those guys. I mean, I love it so much, but
Speaker 2: they just especially in the season after that with Colin mcfarrell.
Speaker 1: Colin mcferrellbrow you did that on purpose.
Speaker 2: I didn't. He's Irish Colin mcferrell, but he it is
Speaker 2: better than I remember. But they'll just say a name,
Speaker 2: like you. They'll say a name once and you're supposed
Speaker 2: to remember everyone by name. And there's fifty characters. I
Speaker 2: had to stop the movie and Wikipedia the cast members
Speaker 2: and see which dead guy they're referring to. But then,
Speaker 2: even though I did that, as soon as I had
Speaker 2: my bibliography or my glossary of names, I started to
Speaker 2: enjoy it more. But I'm so bad with names. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I won't remember your birthday, remember your name. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: but I like you. I like your face.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that a word that your parents gave you
Speaker 2: is going to decide whether or not I care about you.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying I don't need to remember your name.
Speaker 2: I still love you, you.
Speaker 1: Said February fifth, Right, Yeah.
Speaker 7: Well all right, looking forward to my gift, and I
Speaker 7: have an idea, and this goes along with I think
Speaker 7: the thing where because it's just like how we're not
Speaker 7: the skateboarders that can go hey, yeah, cool man or
Speaker 7: whatever it is that thing of you, there's a I
Speaker 7: think it's having older sisters. Or they instill a coolness
Speaker 7: into you against your will where it's like, don't do that,
Speaker 7: where it's like if someone does that, like I've had
Speaker 7: people do that to me a ton where like there
Speaker 7: was a guy once it was like, yeah, Karen, we've
Speaker 7: met before, and then I went where did we meet before?
Speaker 7: And he was just like and it was like something
Speaker 7: the whatever story was, it was so long before and
Speaker 7: I almost said to him.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh, because we're such good friends.
Speaker 7: Then you know that my mom's been dying and so
Speaker 7: I haven't been focusing on the old club we used
Speaker 7: to hang out.
Speaker 1: At, like fuck you dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But the idea of that, which is to say
Speaker 2: your art, did you really do that?
Speaker 7: No? No, no no, I just kind of I felt
Speaker 7: very bad and bewildered, which I was supposed to, and
Speaker 7: then later on I was just like, what the I've
Speaker 7: had some stuff go on between nineteen ninety seven and
Speaker 7: like when I last saw.
Speaker 2: You, But the idea is more stuff than you, because
Speaker 2: you're clearly a single child that didn't have an older
Speaker 2: sister to.
Speaker 7: Train you to not be a dam fucking no one
Speaker 7: in your life ever was like no, no, no, be cool,
Speaker 7: don't do that actually be cool, because who kisses shit.
Speaker 7: It's like if someone doesn't remember you, either you go,
Speaker 7: oh we met it blah blah blah, and it's no
Speaker 7: big deal, or it's just no big deal. But any
Speaker 7: other option that you're feeling is invalid because clearly the
Speaker 7: person's already shown you that you're not a priority. So
Speaker 7: being an asshole isn't going to make you a priority.
Speaker 7: That's going to take you off the list entirely.
Speaker 2: Thank you, you're upset? Oh, let me knock you up.
Speaker 1: A few Yeah, I better call you every Sunday.
Speaker 2: You guilted me into it. No, I bet you're fun
Speaker 2: in a relationship for real? Fuck off? We should I
Speaker 2: should get into one with you because I can tell
Speaker 2: it to be so much fun. Then you kick him
Speaker 2: in the balls? Now, Chris, how is Tinder about that ball?
Speaker 2: How is it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, I get upset? How is how is Tinder lately?
Speaker 7: How?
Speaker 1: How's the online dating?
Speaker 10: Oh?
Speaker 2: God, no, I haven't. I was seeing someone for months
Speaker 2: and that it kind of ended, but I haven't gotten
Speaker 2: back on Oh okay, there, I haven't been on there
Speaker 2: for oh a year almost so because it's kind of odd,
Speaker 2: it's awful, right, it would be yeah, oh and it
Speaker 2: never it's fruitless. And there was twice a couple of
Speaker 2: years ago where I went and met someone and like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is friendly, but it's not going to happen goodbye,
Speaker 2: like handshake and why do it? Why would anyone do it?
Speaker 2: Now you can't be in the same room as anyone
Speaker 2: for the foreseeable future.
Speaker 7: But people keep and maybe this is I'm plucking this
Speaker 7: out of like a randomness, but people I've heard people
Speaker 7: talking about it where they're like, I'm talking to somebody
Speaker 7: on whatever, Tinder or whatever right now, where I'm like, God,
Speaker 7: that must be frustrating because also it would lead to
Speaker 7: stranger sexting, like that seems very risky.
Speaker 2: And now that I've spent this time, whether it's healthy
Speaker 2: or not, I'm I've been enjoying being alone in all ways.
Speaker 2: And you know, they say use it or lose it.
Speaker 2: I guess I'm going to lose it. But I've been
Speaker 2: enjoying this in a weird way. It's not the people
Speaker 2: dying and everything. No, but no, it's not a bad thing.
Speaker 2: This has been good for me. I was sad at
Speaker 2: the beginning of the stay at home order. The girl
Speaker 2: I was seeing who I liked. Was like, this isn't working,
Speaker 2: and I understand it makes sense. We lived in different
Speaker 2: towns and I was like, okay, but it adds to
Speaker 2: the Oh, I'm not going to be in the same
Speaker 2: room because I've been following the orders, I've not been
Speaker 2: I'll go on hikes. I've been meeting friends to skateboard.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's the one way I'm cheating. But other than that,
Speaker 2: I get food delivered here, I'm not. I don't want
Speaker 2: to get this thing right. Yes, I've been.
Speaker 6: And then oddly it's I think I've already said this before.
Speaker 2: I kind of it's been reassuring that I've been having
Speaker 2: fun with myself and I'm not talking about master.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry, I thought you're talking.
Speaker 6: Why does everyone think I'm talking about that, I mean playing.
Speaker 2: With dollhouse eggs?
Speaker 7: Oh I thought playing with doll houses meant masturbating my mistake.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, Stephen, was that so loud that we peek?
Speaker 11: I mean it'll be good for comedy, Okay, yeah, breaking
Speaker 11: it all. I was going to say really quickly, where
Speaker 11: I've noticed some people like if you're in a relationship,
Speaker 11: I feel like I feel like a lot of people
Speaker 11: right now are like am I in this or I'm not?
Speaker 11: And like if you're under six months, I got to
Speaker 11: imagine it's like, well, we're not going to just move
Speaker 11: in with each other or.
Speaker 2: Yeah we are.
Speaker 6: It's why people bought a bunch of toilet paper.
Speaker 2: It's like, I yet to control this part of my life,
Speaker 2: and so I understand that that begetting of a pandemic.
Speaker 2: It sucks to all of a sudden be like, oh okay,
Speaker 2: I don't even have the option of only nothing but
Speaker 2: being alone.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Well, or the people that like you, you're saying like
Speaker 7: Stephen saying, Oh, Brandy Posey's here, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 7: let me text her really quick?
Speaker 2: Hold on? Heh yeah, what if we had a guest
Speaker 2: for ten minutet the window?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I'm gonna I just have to give her
Speaker 1: some Lacroix I bought.
Speaker 7: I bought her her favorite Lacroix while I was at
Speaker 7: the store, because when I get to the store, I feel.
Speaker 1: Like we're all it's my last chance.
Speaker 2: Is she a lady? She's key lime baby?
Speaker 1: Hold on?
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, key lime boring?
Speaker 7: All right?
Speaker 6: Did you give Brandy with Brandy Posey?
Speaker 2: Everyone?
Speaker 1: Brandy posy.
Speaker 7: But I opened that door and George Marie went right out,
Speaker 7: ran right out to and I was like, what you
Speaker 7: never do stuff like that, and she ran out to
Speaker 7: see to see Brandy. She doesn't like people in mass Yeah,
Speaker 7: and then I almost shut the door behind me, and
Speaker 7: then realized I tried the door right right before it
Speaker 7: closed and it was locked, so I had to open
Speaker 7: it back up. Guys, a lot has happened in the
Speaker 7: last thirty seconds. And then she goes I handed her
Speaker 7: her thing of Lacroix, and I'm like, I'm sorry, I
Speaker 7: can't hug you, and she goes, I'll hug this instead,
Speaker 7: Like what world do we live in?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so sad, I know it's it's uh yeah, so regardless, yeah,
Speaker 2: we're all it's I don't know. It's weird that everyone's
Speaker 2: going through it at the same time, so it's hard
Speaker 2: to get feel bad for yourself. It's like, no one's
Speaker 2: hugging anyone now. Box, that's right, Roy, right now, that's right.
Speaker 1: But everybody has to hug lacroy boxes right now, and.
Speaker 2: The people that have loved ones living with them, that
Speaker 2: love is being tested more than likely, it's true. So
Speaker 2: it's either you're alone, or you're for the first time
Speaker 2: ever not wanting to be around your kids, hiding in
Speaker 2: a bathroom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well probably not for the first time ever.
Speaker 7: But that's what I was going to say, is that
Speaker 7: the people who would have strange situation because for a
Speaker 7: long time, the longest relationship I would ever have would
Speaker 7: be nine months long. And it like to be in
Speaker 7: that situation where you're it's clearly you are together and
Speaker 7: exclusive with each other, and then this thing happens where
Speaker 7: you're like, well, it's a lockdown.
Speaker 1: So we basically have five days to decide should we.
Speaker 7: Move in together for a question mark amount of time
Speaker 7: or should we not be together for a question mark
Speaker 7: amount of time.
Speaker 1: That's fucked like a bunch of people had to make
Speaker 1: that call on the fly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I when she wanted to first start talking about it,
Speaker 2: I was upset, But you're right, it totally makes sense.
Speaker 6: It is a I hate shit or get off the pot.
Speaker 6: That's a saying.
Speaker 2: But right, yeah, yeah, I mean you have yeah or
Speaker 2: otherwise yeah, long distance mask driving, Yeah, there's no flying.
Speaker 2: That's the thing.
Speaker 7: Is the other thing too. There was some something came
Speaker 7: up with the network or something. The other day and
Speaker 7: someone was having a freak out, and I was like,
Speaker 7: just real quick, everybody, it's a pandemic. No one expects
Speaker 7: this to be happening in any normal way. No one
Speaker 7: expects normalcy. No one's sitting there tapping their foot. And
Speaker 7: if they are, that's a person who has very unrealistic
Speaker 7: expectations about reality.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it doesn't work. Nothing is familiar anymore.
Speaker 6: Or it's just changing.
Speaker 2: Who knows. I mean yesterday and I just saw in
Speaker 2: Variety that Jordan Morris's Bubble podcast it's going to become
Speaker 2: a feature length animated movie, I think, or serial good,
Speaker 2: which is amazing. And just yesterday we did this but
Speaker 2: a zoom read of a script he wrote. It's really funny.
Speaker 2: He's so funny, it was he was, it's great. He
Speaker 2: obviously worked really hard on it, and the jokes are great.
Speaker 7: But it was.
Speaker 2: A zoom recording. Saw the actors. It's just like this,
Speaker 2: but we all read and someone was.
Speaker 6: Doing the stage of the script or I guess you'd
Speaker 6: call it stage.
Speaker 2: Direction, and then they're going to record that and pitch
Speaker 2: it to someone who's alone in the room, not wearing
Speaker 2: a suit, that isn't wearing a suit eat wearing sweatpants,
Speaker 2: and maybe I don't know how these things are going
Speaker 2: to get shot, but people are auditioning for commercials via
Speaker 2: zoom and then things are getting shot. What if in
Speaker 2: a year, we're just watching zoom and actors, Like someone
Speaker 2: was telling me, wrestling is still going on. There's just
Speaker 2: two guys and there's no one, no audio. You can
Speaker 2: hear their bodies slapping, and there's no audience. It's just
Speaker 2: so bizarre. And soap operas. My my dad's been watching
Speaker 2: one of the soap operas, or he and my stepmom
Speaker 2: watch one, and they are just doing wrap ups of
Speaker 2: old storylines and anything that it's only two people in
Speaker 2: a room and they're far away from each other really,
Speaker 2: so there's no intimate storylines.
Speaker 6: But they're still shooting soap operas, So like, how.
Speaker 2: Do we do this one camera? We'll have him behind plexiglass,
Speaker 2: you two argue from a distance, and then we'll show
Speaker 2: some old footage of when we were all in can Pun.
Speaker 6: They're doing like behind the scenes stuff.
Speaker 2: It's so hilarious to me, but it's like, I guess
Speaker 2: the expectations for everyone are pretty low, so maybe it's
Speaker 2: kind of fun to just well, it's kind of yeah,
Speaker 2: we're doing whatever we want.
Speaker 10: I love.
Speaker 7: Yeah, soap operas are like, no, this is essential. We
Speaker 7: have to keep this storyline of this rich family going.
Speaker 6: Oh can you imagine the people that watch that every
Speaker 6: day that stay at home, like retired folks or whoever,
Speaker 6: that are attached to those stories. If they just ended,
Speaker 6: they'd probably strangle their poodle.
Speaker 1: Well, those are almost no.
Speaker 7: Almost no soap operas had any kind of hits during
Speaker 7: the two thousand and eight writer strike. None of they
Speaker 7: all got around it and basically like figured out the
Speaker 7: way where they wouldn't be They figured out the like
Speaker 7: workaround to cross the picket line because and they had
Speaker 7: they all did.
Speaker 2: They all did it. I don't.
Speaker 7: I'm not sure they're like the producers the producers wrote
Speaker 7: instead of the writers or something, because most of them know.
Speaker 2: You guys, you're mad about the twin brother, you're mad
Speaker 2: about the broken vase.
Speaker 6: Riff it, talk about it, glad I.
Speaker 2: Did that grounding the broken vase. Uh No, it's just weird.
Speaker 2: It's weird.
Speaker 7: How like my sister and I were talking about this
Speaker 7: this morning. It's all about because they were talking. We
Speaker 7: know someone that works uh for the Giants baseball team,
Speaker 7: and they were talking about trying to figure out like
Speaker 7: how many how could they could go back if there
Speaker 7: was no no fans came and watched, but the baseball
Speaker 7: players could still play, so you could watch it on TV.
Speaker 7: And they're like, but how would you produce that in
Speaker 7: the truck? And my sister goes, why would you be
Speaker 7: in a fucking truck outside? You can be anywhere in
Speaker 7: the stadium no one else is there. And then she's like,
Speaker 7: you know, teachers had to because all teachers were like
Speaker 7: warned that this quarantine was happening and they just had
Speaker 7: to make up how they were going to do it
Speaker 7: in like three days. And she's like, teachers figured this
Speaker 7: out right fucking quick. I don't know why these rich
Speaker 7: guys can't figure out. And I go because they never
Speaker 7: have to figure out anything. So there's people it's like
Speaker 7: the truly creative and flexible will be rewarded for going. Okay,
Speaker 7: if it's gonna be like this now, then we're gonna
Speaker 7: like I watched a guy, did you see that blooper
Speaker 7: of a news weatherman who was giving the weather from
Speaker 7: his office in his house and his dog came in
Speaker 7: and hit the laptop and then all the graphics, Like
Speaker 7: he couldn't show any of the graphics that he had
Speaker 7: on his that they were just going to go to
Speaker 7: because his big golden retriever came in and like took
Speaker 7: over the entire office and it was awesome.
Speaker 6: Multiple weathermen with cats or dogs.
Speaker 2: But I don't think I saw that one.
Speaker 7: It was just like I was watching it, going I
Speaker 7: love this one hundred times more than normal news. Ye,
Speaker 7: like I think everyone does, because everyone's just a person.
Speaker 7: We're all kind of getting into the like, I don't know,
Speaker 7: this is such an interesting when you when we're not
Speaker 7: talking about the death and we're not talking about the
Speaker 7: fucking systemic racism where so many more brown people are
Speaker 7: dying than white people.
Speaker 2: And I know I every time I say I'm enjoying this,
Speaker 2: I want everyone to know that's predominantly what I'm thinking about.
Speaker 6: Yes, it and it and it's hard not to think about.
Speaker 7: That, but it's but it's we're trying to find a
Speaker 7: silver lining in this complete fucking shit show and horror
Speaker 7: show where our whole the fabric of reality has been ripped.
Speaker 7: Then at least we can go Hey, the good part
Speaker 7: is that we were a whole globe of people who
Speaker 7: were so obsessed with our fucking phones that we didn't
Speaker 7: give a shit who was in the room with us.
Speaker 7: And now all of a sudden, we're all sitting home
Speaker 7: going like I cannot wait to have a party. I
Speaker 7: can't wait to fucking have a party. It will be
Speaker 7: the best party. And that's all I think about it
Speaker 7: every day. And it's like I think about the friends
Speaker 7: I want to see and have dinner with, and you know,
Speaker 7: all the shit I would love to do that I
Speaker 7: absolutely didn't care about and didn't appreciate before.
Speaker 2: Right right, Yeah, you just said it perfectly that the
Speaker 2: teachers that are that more quickly and creatively thought of
Speaker 2: ways to teach persevered, or however you said it perfectly.
Speaker 2: Rewind and hear what Karen said initially right right after baseball.
Speaker 1: Let's describe our favorite restaurants to each other.
Speaker 2: But I've been I've been getting Hello Fresh, and I
Speaker 2: picked the vegetarian option, and I'm so tired of garbonzo
Speaker 2: beeings that I finally went in and changed it to
Speaker 2: be cause you can just have chicken or whatever. I
Speaker 2: did it for a while, but no more garbonzo beans. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've been doing these cooking videos and people seem to
Speaker 2: like them, but I it was just for lack of
Speaker 2: nothing else to do.
Speaker 6: And I'm learning to cook. I'm cooking all my meals.
Speaker 6: I did not know how to cook.
Speaker 2: Anything before, and you're teaching yourself. Fresh thing has taught
Speaker 2: me the bag and now I really enjoy it. And
Speaker 2: I think I'm eating healthier than before. When I ate
Speaker 2: out for everything, I mean ordered in.
Speaker 7: I know for a fact I'm getting healthy simply by
Speaker 7: just eating things that are out of my refrigerator as
Speaker 7: opposed to Yeah, I mean the worst one is drive
Speaker 7: through because I was such a like just anytime I
Speaker 7: drove by McDonald's, it'd be like, don't do it, don't
Speaker 7: do it, fine, like it was my solution to everything,
Speaker 7: and like just for a month being like that's not
Speaker 7: worth it's not worth it. Yeah, I just know all
Speaker 7: these things are leaving my system that are like thank fucking.
Speaker 2: God, totally. I'm sleeping better, I'm having dreams. I think
Speaker 2: a lot of that's from not drinking, and I am
Speaker 2: waking up earlier. Like things are getting better. But it's
Speaker 2: the least I should do is eat well. Since I'm
Speaker 2: not very active. I mean, I try and play with
Speaker 2: my rubber bands and do my five chin, but I'm not.
Speaker 6: There's only so much exercise. We're all getting about ten
Speaker 6: steps a day.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 2: Well, that's why the bad to the kitchen. So I
Speaker 2: was so excited that the pool.
Speaker 7: I was in the pool for fifteen minutes before we
Speaker 7: before we started this, because I was like, I got
Speaker 7: to get in there because it's the perfect it's to me.
Speaker 7: It isn't exercising, and it totally is great cardio, but
Speaker 7: it doesn't.
Speaker 2: Feel like the only way you can swim. There's no
Speaker 2: there's no way. I was swimming and I was loving it.
Speaker 2: But that was one of the first things that closed
Speaker 2: were gyms and yeah, that's good. I'm like, okay, great,
Speaker 2: what am I going to do? Jump rope? I bought
Speaker 2: a jump array, ordered a jump rope. It's very difficult,
Speaker 2: and I don't like how it feels to have my
Speaker 2: whole body jiggle. No, but I got yeah, I just
Speaker 2: gotta do that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and also rope in my house, indoor jump rope.
Speaker 7: That's you don't have downstairs neighbors, do.
Speaker 2: You, Nope? Oh good? That would be this shoe horse
Speaker 2: it's just neighbors on this side and then neighbors on
Speaker 2: the other. There's a courtyard on each side of my building.
Speaker 2: I'm just one of the arms on the U shape,
Speaker 2: if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: You're a seahorse arm, got you, yes, if it was Yeah.
Speaker 6: There's uh, it's more of a tuning fork.
Speaker 2: Imagine that. Huh. Yeah, that's the shape of the building,
Speaker 2: and you're the hand one of those forks.
Speaker 1: Oh you're the fork.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and so yeah, no one under me, no
Speaker 2: one above me. Certainly no insulation. But I can jump
Speaker 2: rope to my heart's content.
Speaker 7: Okay, well that's good. Yeah, yeah, well I think you know,
Speaker 7: as long as you have a plan and a jump rope. Yeah,
Speaker 7: you could also do jumping jacks if you need to
Speaker 7: jump so much.
Speaker 2: So, but I maybe in the fifties. I just I'm
Speaker 2: not military enough to do jumping jacks. I'm watching videos,
Speaker 2: I'm doing different things. There's like stuff, there's so many
Speaker 2: twenty minute like it's like twenty minute exercise that's gonna suck.
Speaker 2: You have to do five chin ups and push ups
Speaker 2: and chin ups in it. But it's only twenty minutes.
Speaker 2: In my life. That's something I don't. When I go
Speaker 2: to the gym, I'm like, oh, what's this do? And
Speaker 2: then I sit down for a while. I'm not that
Speaker 2: efficient when I'm there. No one is telling me what
Speaker 2: to do. So I've been watching YouTube videos and even that.
Speaker 6: See, life is just better. I don't need to see.
Speaker 1: People who judge you in your body.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 7: It's more now. It's about everyone's personality these days.
Speaker 2: But the minute that gets lifted, Please, let's both have parties.
Speaker 2: I mean I might have Like, I'm gonna longer everyone.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna hug everyone, the mailman. I'm just gonna hug everybody.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be great.
Speaker 1: Hug that pool boy.
Speaker 2: You're gonna hug the pool boy. Get him drunk first.
Speaker 5: Whoa big long cigarette? So do you swim or do
Speaker 5: you just clean bulls?
Speaker 7: Or like?
Speaker 1: Man, please step away from me, Please step away from me.
Speaker 6: That's a big lung that like else you got, it's long.
Speaker 2: Let's get long.
Speaker 1: I'm made of aluminum.
Speaker 7: Just came.
Speaker 2: I would be terrible.
Speaker 1: That would be bad for me.
Speaker 2: Anyhow.
Speaker 6: Wow, we've been going a long time, I know, and
Speaker 6: it's a lot to catch up on.
Speaker 7: We really did and I thought it was. I thought
Speaker 7: we were like halfway done, and then I looked at and.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, we're kind of over anything else, any
Speaker 1: any news, any.
Speaker 2: Thing we should have covered. I guess not. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't have anything to plug. My My Specials almost done.
Speaker 2: We're going to put it on Amazon, and.
Speaker 7: I like it.
Speaker 10: I guess I would plug exactly Right podcast network, which
Speaker 10: is we are in our home network. And then we
Speaker 10: just added Bananas, which is a weird news a strange
Speaker 10: news podcast.
Speaker 12: Oh cool, Kurt Browneller and Scotty Landis and it's all
Speaker 12: that's great, funny and great and and very like. It's
Speaker 12: just a relaxing listen of silly news stories that are
Speaker 12: true that you don't get to hear anymore because everything
Speaker 12: in the news is scary and awful.
Speaker 6: Oh that's great that it's great on exactly right awesome.
Speaker 12: I do too. He's so both of them are really funny,
Speaker 12: genuinely cool and chill. I'm gonna listen to it, and Stephen,
Speaker 12: thank you once again for holding down the engineering fort
Speaker 12: as you always do.
Speaker 2: Of course you did you notice Christma.
Speaker 12: At the beginning, Steven's background was a car.
Speaker 2: He made it look like he was saying, Yeah, I
Speaker 2: did that last time too, did you I didn't, I
Speaker 2: didn't see it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it almost looks like you're in a car seat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you look like a little baby.
Speaker 6: Gets me in the space, It gets me in the
Speaker 6: mental head space.
Speaker 12: It's like, yeah, you guys, listen to this and then
Speaker 12: thank you for listening always.
Speaker 2: We we love you.
Speaker 12: We know there's people who have been with us since
Speaker 12: before we even had a place to land, when we
Speaker 12: were just out there driving around by ourselves. So the
Speaker 12: people that have been around for all the years we've
Speaker 12: been doing this, thank you very much.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you guys make me cry when you come up
Speaker 6: to me after comedy shows. So keep it up.
Speaker 2: It's it's fun.
Speaker 6: Yeah you've been listening to Rye.
Speaker 2: Why n they are? Are you leave?
Speaker 1: And I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you clay give us time
Speaker 3: and turning on engage.
Speaker 4: We want to send you off inside. We want to
Speaker 4: welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 2: We scared or was it fine?
Speaker 10: Malcorn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 8: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 7: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need With Karen
Speaker 2: and Chris