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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: first minute morning show. Oh look, the fifteen minute morning

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Speaker 1: show podcast. Here we are. I'm in the New York

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Speaker 1: studio today with Scary Jones on the opposite end of

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Speaker 1: the room. Thank you. There's Scotty b Hi Scotty. And

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Speaker 1: there's a straight Night out there in the other room.

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Speaker 1: And there, let's see in his den at home in

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Speaker 1: beautiful New Jersey. There's the one and All your Day Brody.

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Speaker 1: Finally not last, there you go. There's a Garrett in

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Speaker 1: this kitchen. There's Danielle in her basement. There's a Nate

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Speaker 1: like I said, there's a Gandhi at her sister's house.

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Speaker 1: There's Scotty b in the serial library. And today Froggy

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Speaker 1: is last. What else I'm kidding? So I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you're listening to our radio show today, but I

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Speaker 1: made it very clear that we just phoned it in.

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Speaker 1: We had nothing, We didn't do anything. We had a

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Speaker 1: good show. She was enjoying it from the jump, Daniell said, fingered,

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Speaker 1: she did, and then everyone thinks I'm kinky all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, Well, so are we just going to phone

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Speaker 1: it in for this fifteen minute morning show podcast or

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Speaker 1: do you have an idea? Straight Nate, I have an idea.

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Speaker 1: What is it? I think we should all tell our

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Speaker 1: favorite joke. No, that doesn't have I don't have any jokes.

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Speaker 1: I don't. Mine is old and not funny, but it's

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Speaker 1: my favorite joke of all time. Let no, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go first. You want me to go first? Yes? Your favorite? Ready? Yes? Okay?

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Speaker 1: So a bear walks into a bar, sits at the

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Speaker 1: sits up at the bar, and says to the bartender,

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Speaker 1: I would like a beer. The bartender goes, what's the deal?

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Speaker 1: You know why? The big pause, and the bear goes,

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Speaker 1: I'm a bear? My favorite joking joke. You want to

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Speaker 1: digest that for a second. Hey, always, You know, since

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Speaker 1: since Brody is as close to a professional comedian that

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Speaker 1: we have, Brodie, you should, actually you should critique everyone's

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Speaker 1: joke and tell us how it went. How did he

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Speaker 1: do with this joke? I think it's a six. I

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Speaker 1: mean he enjoyed it more than everyone else did, so

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Speaker 1: that's a minus point right there. Um, I get it,

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Speaker 1: like bare paws, I get it, But you know, okay,

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Speaker 1: six bullshit, that's generous. I don't argue the judges decision

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Speaker 1: is fine, should go next? I'll judge him. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: I'll go last. So funny to go next? Here are

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Speaker 1: you jumped in telling his joke before we were ready

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Speaker 1: for it? Now we're ready. What do gay horses eat? Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's always wanted to tell our favorite joke? Funny, this

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Speaker 1: is favorite joke? You tell one, Danielle, I don't have.

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Speaker 1: I admitted I don't have one. By the way, mine

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Speaker 1: was better than scaryes mine. Mine was a six. His

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Speaker 1: was what like a five? Brody? His was a two,

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Speaker 1: and it was offensive. It was funny about eleven years ago.

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Speaker 1: Why was that offensive? Because now you're stereotyping gay people

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Speaker 1: for sounding a certain way. We don't do that anymore.

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Speaker 1: I'm gay. I'm not offended, thank you, horses are, but

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Speaker 1: not at that joke. Come on, what's your favorite joke? Oh,

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Speaker 1: I have no joke that would be even kind of appropriate.

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Speaker 1: Get canceled immediately, you can tell you. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't really find like one liner jokes all that funny.

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Speaker 1: I think that, like in conversation people being witty is funnier.

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Speaker 1: So I don't I don't know. I don't have any jokes, Gandhi.

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Speaker 1: Do you know the difference between a shower curtain and

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Speaker 1: toilet paper? Oh so you're the one. That was the

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Speaker 1: first joke I ever learned as a child. Should we

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Speaker 1: at the hotel across the street? That's not a joke?

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Speaker 1: Can we do the jam and jelly joke? Or no?

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Speaker 1: Not on this Podcastell you'r Abraham Lincoln? No? Can I

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Speaker 1: tell that one? How do you know Abraham Lincoln was Jewish?

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Speaker 1: He was shot in the temple? There was that offensive

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Speaker 1: to Jews? No, just the comedians. Oh my god, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna look up Indian jokes. There have to be something

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Speaker 1: I thought we were going to ask Scotty be about

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Speaker 1: where he sticks certain things with my craziness, let's get

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Speaker 1: to the joke thing, frog, what's your favorite joke of

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Speaker 1: all time? All right, how is life like toilet paper?

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Speaker 1: How is life like toilet paper? Either you're on a roll,

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Speaker 1: you're taking ship from someone? Okay, pretty accurate. I have

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Speaker 1: an Indian joke, now, Indian joke? An Indian joke to

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Speaker 1: save the froggy joke. Oh, there's so many. Okay, my

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Speaker 1: wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's

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Speaker 1: going to treat her. Well, I heard they worship cows. Garrett,

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Speaker 1: you have Alexei tell me a joke? Well, we can't

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Speaker 1: got nothing either. How do you spot a blind man

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Speaker 1: on a nude beach? It's not hard? Can I speaking

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Speaker 1: of blind people? Can I tell my Stevie Wonder joke?

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Speaker 1: Why can Why can't Stevie Wonder see his kids? Because

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Speaker 1: his ex wife is as good? Much about a name?

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Speaker 1: You had your own laugh track? It makes it funny.

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Speaker 1: Come on, Scotty, come on the jam and jelly Joe.

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Speaker 1: My kids tell dumb jokes, but I can't think of

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Speaker 1: any of them right now. I'm sorry. Or zero fun jelly,

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Speaker 1: I don't have. I don't even know what that is.

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Speaker 1: What's the difference beween jam and jelly? Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what the answer is, though I can't jell me

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Speaker 1: my dick down your throat the way you like, even

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Speaker 1: a voice for it. I know you had that forceful,

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Speaker 1: kind of creepy voice. Oh my god, that was hilarious

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Speaker 1: from everybody in the room. Well, I know, but I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it was a laugh at the joker,

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Speaker 1: laugh at you telling the joke. Yeah, that's part to

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Speaker 1: come on Brody, tell your Joe. I only have one

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Speaker 1: joke because I'm not a joke teller. I'm you know.

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Speaker 1: So this is the joke I learned when I was

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Speaker 1: a kid, and it still works. So a father and

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Speaker 1: mother and their son went to the circus and the

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Speaker 1: father gets up to go get popcorn, and the little

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Speaker 1: little boy says to the mom, h, what's that long

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Speaker 1: thing on the elephant? And the mother says, that's his trunk, son,

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Speaker 1: and he says, no, No, Mom, the thing in the back,

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Speaker 1: she's that's his tail. He says, no, the other thing underneath,

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Speaker 1: and she says, oh, that's nothing. So the boy seems

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Speaker 1: like he didn't get a really good answer. The father

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Speaker 1: comes back, the mother gets up to go to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom and she the boy says to his father, Dad,

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Speaker 1: what's the long thing on the elephant and he says

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Speaker 1: that's his trunk? Son, He said, no, Dad, thing in

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Speaker 1: the back, he says, that's his tail. No, Dad, the

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Speaker 1: thing underneath, he says, son, that's his dick. And the

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Speaker 1: little boy says, well, Mom said that was nothing. And

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Speaker 1: he says to a little boy, son, I spoiled that woman.

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Speaker 1: What do you call a Hippie's wife. What what a

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Speaker 1: Mississippi Mrs Hippie? Oh wow, your son tell you that one.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry the on don't you talk about shoving your

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Speaker 1: dick down something, Derek. The funny thing is he told

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Speaker 1: that joke to a little boy. Okay, I have a question. Yes,

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Speaker 1: when we load this podcast today, do we have to

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Speaker 1: label it not safe for work or don't go to work?

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Speaker 1: We still didn't talk about Scotty shoving his things. Place

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Speaker 1: wants to talk about that. No, I don't really care

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Speaker 1: what Scotty wants to talk about, because the fact is

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Speaker 1: that Scotti has this idea that he can't drink coffee

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Speaker 1: out of the work coffee maker because it's like everybody's

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Speaker 1: running around cramming their dick in the coffee maker like Scotty.

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Speaker 1: Nobody does that, so you because happen. I've never seen

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Speaker 1: it happen. There was like some crazy Shenanigan office show

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Speaker 1: on Fox one time they where they had videos of

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Speaker 1: people doing stuff at work and the dude put his

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Speaker 1: dick in the coffee pot. I'm not dealing with that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, but we have single serve coffee, one one

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Speaker 1: one cup. It's like you know one they rub it

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Speaker 1: under the spout. I'm not. I don't want to. Here's

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Speaker 1: what we have going on, Scotty. We we need to

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Speaker 1: trust each other. There's a level of trust that you have.

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Speaker 1: I trust you all, but not other people that work there.

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Speaker 1: There's only two people that work where you are. So

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Speaker 1: who do you think's rubbing their dick on the coffee pot?

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Speaker 1: You think it's scari engineers. They come in late at

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Speaker 1: night to fix things. I'm not jelly or jamming anything

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Speaker 1: I've seen here. I drink my own coffee. I listen.

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Speaker 1: I make that coffee every morning. Nate makes that coffee.

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Speaker 1: We drink. We drink out of that machine. I'm not

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Speaker 1: doing anything. I'll also never take like the top spoon

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Speaker 1: or fork from that drawerback there. I have to dig

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Speaker 1: in the middle, and I still blow it off. Excuse me?

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Speaker 1: He does. Scotty blows on utensils. I've seen him do it.

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Speaker 1: He does every single time he eats something. He blows

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Speaker 1: it do like that's sanitizing it. There might be something

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Speaker 1: on it. So that's a form of new roads. But

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Speaker 1: if somebody rubs their dick on a spoon, you don't

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Speaker 1: get the whatever off by. I don't think someone's going

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Speaker 1: in the drawer in his mind, in his mind, in

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Speaker 1: his mind, it's clean if he blows on it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: flies are just announced. Scotty's breath cures COVID. Yeah, there

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Speaker 1: you go. I think that the problem was when Scotty started,

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Speaker 1: when we were talking about all of this, and someone's like, Scotty,

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Speaker 1: did you put your dick in the coffee machine. He's like, not, well,

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Speaker 1: not in the coffee machine, no nevers. But he thought

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Speaker 1: you said copy machine. Look like when when boys are

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Speaker 1: little they do things. I mean, it's what did you do? Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: now he can tell the story. Candle hope never not

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Speaker 1: a candle wants Brodie wants to do it in a candle,

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Speaker 1: but I won't. I don't. Every time I told you're

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Speaker 1: my boss that Chucky Cheese used to do it. Every

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Speaker 1: time I need to wait wait wait wait wait wait,

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Speaker 1: your boss at Chucky Cheese put it in a candle. Ope,

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Speaker 1: you know he used to. He used to finish in

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Speaker 1: a candle, open and make his wife eat the can.

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Speaker 1: He fell out of his chair. I just put cottage

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Speaker 1: cheese in it. Did not. In the movie American Pie,

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Speaker 1: Jason Biggs did an American Pie. That's a movie. I

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Speaker 1: cannot believe. I feel like I might have told this

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Speaker 1: story before. But when I was a little boy, this

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Speaker 1: is a great story. Here's the story. When I was

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Speaker 1: a little boy. I don't know how little I was,

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Speaker 1: I forget, but my dad opened an account at the

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Speaker 1: bank and got a bear, a free bear for opening

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Speaker 1: the account. His name was ted E Bear. He had

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Speaker 1: a hat and a little bow tie, a little green

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Speaker 1: poka do bow tie. Remember him because he was my

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Speaker 1: first picture, what the picture to tell the story into somewhere.

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Speaker 1: So so after a couple of months, I was like

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Speaker 1: Teddy Bear and I cut a little hole in him,

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Speaker 1: and I whatever, what do you mean? Whatever? You do

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Speaker 1: not know? The t bear for the bank was probably

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Speaker 1: ten or eleven, and I was like, I had big paws.

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Speaker 1: This is sofya tell you what. I'm happy they didn't

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Speaker 1: give your dad a toaster for opening that new account.

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Speaker 1: Got a problem. You got him at the sperm bank.

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Speaker 1: That's him. Oh where did you cut the hole? I

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Speaker 1: have to know this is not bear. I found this one.

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Speaker 1: I understand that, But where did you cut the hole

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Speaker 1: in the bear? Like? Down there? Okay? Then I wonder

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Speaker 1: where that bear is today. Did you, like immediately get

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Speaker 1: rid of the bear? Did you leave it around so

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Speaker 1: someone could maybe find a bear with a hole in it?

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Speaker 1: Probably jammed it under my bed for a little while

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Speaker 1: and then found it years later and just threw it

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Speaker 1: jammed on off of the bed too. Imagine if that

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Speaker 1: bear wound up in toy story and he was telling

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Speaker 1: his story in the nurseries. His name is Drippy Hey,

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Speaker 1: So you know what I love. My favorite part of

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Speaker 1: that story is the fact that he admitted to it,

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Speaker 1: told the story right here in front of everyone. Whatever.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's done dumb stuff like you did some other things

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Speaker 1: that we can't talk about here. What the the syrup?

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Speaker 1: No dogs couch? Listen? Who else has a story from

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Speaker 1: their child? You must have done something at a time.

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Speaker 1: I think we're out of time. They banged the mirror once,

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Speaker 1: but that's probably do you turn yourself on if you

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Speaker 1: look at yourself naked in the mirror. You guys were

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Speaker 1: talking about when is the sexiest you have ever looked?

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Speaker 1: And I was gonna say mine is about four years

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Speaker 1: ago when I was working out a lot, and I know,

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Speaker 1: I know I looked really good because during sex, I

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Speaker 1: would stare at myself and not the other person. A

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Speaker 1: second asshole. Speaking of mirrors, didn't anyone have you ever

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Speaker 1: try and practice kissing as a kid and trying kiss

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Speaker 1: the mirror. I've admitted this. Yes, I would do this.

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Speaker 1: I would do this. I would go Yeah. Would you

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Speaker 1: pretend your hand was a bear? Yes, your hand, use

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Speaker 1: your bear's one time? It was at one time us okay,

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Speaker 1: light just like that flush light I used I threw

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Speaker 1: out in the dumpster behind shop. Right. Oh, we're learning

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Speaker 1: way way too much about you. We gotta go. The

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Speaker 1: guy who didn't want to talk about it, Yeah, he

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Speaker 1: did want to talk about it past. No, No, we've

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Speaker 1: had worse alright, Bye, bye bye. That was awful. Fifteen

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Speaker 1: minute Morning show