1 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:11,240 Speaker 1: present and self aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: all these themes on the podcast, but it's hard to 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: actually be mindful in your day to day life. That's 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: where Calm comes in. I've been working with Calm for 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness 8 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: fun and easy. Calm has all sorts of content to 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: help you build positive habits, shift yourself, talk, reframe your 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: negative thoughts, and generally feel better in your daily life. 11 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: So many incredible options from the most knowledgeable experts in 12 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: the world, along with renowned meditation teachers. You can also 13 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: check out my seven minute daily series to help you 14 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: live more mindfully each and every day. Right now, listeners 15 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: of On Purpose get forty percent off a subscription to 16 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: Calmpremium at Calm dot com Forward slash j that's Calm 17 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: dot com forward slash jay for forty percent off. Calm 18 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: your Mind, Change your Life. 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 2: I think if people are like I want to accomplish 20 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 2: this goal, the very next question is why, and then 21 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 2: go why why? Why? Why? 22 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: Why? 23 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 2: If your why is so strong, how it's going to 24 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,479 Speaker 2: be done. It doesn't matter who You'll figure out. You've 25 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 2: got a book out called Level Up rub Dial from 26 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 2: the Mindsetmental Podcast. Not everything that's happened to you in 27 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: your life is your fault, but whatever it is that 28 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 2: you have, it is your responsibility to work through. If 29 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to feel the feelings of fear, why don't 30 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 2: I also just try feeling the feelings of success in 31 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:27,759 Speaker 2: getting there? 32 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: Hey everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you. 33 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: In the last ninety days, seventy nine point four percent 34 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are 35 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that 36 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: if you want to create a habit, make it easy 37 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a 38 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed. 39 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: This would also mean the absolute world to me and 40 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: help help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you 41 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: and the world. 42 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,799 Speaker 3: Subscribe right now the number one health and wellness podcast. 43 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: Jay Shetty, Jay Shetty, sly Ja shet Hey, everyone, welcome 44 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: back to On Purpose. I am so glad that you 45 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 1: decided to tune in to listen, learn and grow. Today's 46 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,679 Speaker 1: guest is a long time friend. When we tell you 47 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: about how we met and how long ago it was, 48 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,239 Speaker 1: you'll get to hear this story in a few moments. 49 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: But I'm really excited because this is his first time 50 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 1: on the show. We're finally making it happen. His name 51 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: is Rob Dile, the host of the hugely popular podcast, 52 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:43,959 Speaker 1: The Mindset Mentor podcast. Rob simplifies neurology, psychology, and cognitive 53 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: behavioral therapy to help people grasp how their brains and 54 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: bodies function together. Rob's podcast is one of his biggest projects. 55 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 1: If you're not subscribe yet, check it out. And Rob's 56 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: also the author of Level Up. The book is out 57 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: right now and it guides people to take action, overcome procrastination, 58 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: and form lasting habits. Rob believes that when you master 59 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: your mindset, you master your life. If you don't have 60 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: this book already, go and order it now. Level Up 61 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: by Rob Dow Welcome to the show. 62 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 3: Rob. 63 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,079 Speaker 2: I'm so excited to be here. 64 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 3: Dude. 65 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: I can't believe it's taken us this long. I know, 66 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: but we're doing it. Hey, I love it and I 67 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: don't come to Austin enough. So we haven't done that yet. 68 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: I was saying to everyone, Yeah, we've we met seven 69 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: years ago. We were just talking about it in New York, 70 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: and I think we were both just starting out trying 71 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: to figure it out, making content, figuring it out. And 72 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: we'd connected because I think we had a similar set 73 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 1: of like values and beliefs around the kind of mindset, 74 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: and you were always really curious about Eastern spirituality, and 75 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: I felt like we just had great conversations. We went 76 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 1: on a couple of walks, hung out, and I was 77 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: just we were just saying this offline. It was you 78 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: who actually said to me back in twenty seventeen. You 79 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: were like, dude, you should start a podcast. And I 80 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if I have time, I 81 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm able to do. I don't know 82 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: what it would be if you know, And you were like, 83 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: I remember you literally saying that you should just record 84 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: yourself walking around, like just whatever. 85 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 3: You really have so. 86 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 2: Much wisdom, there's just it needs to people need to 87 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 2: hear it. 88 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: No, But I'm grateful, man, for all those conversations and 89 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: all the conversations in between. 90 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 2: And yeah, man, I. 91 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 3: Remember when we were talking about this as well. It's beautiful. 92 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I at that book. Actually you helped me with that, 93 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 2: Whereas like I felt like in twenty twenty, I never 94 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 2: wanted to write a book, and then in twenty twenty, 95 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 2: I was like, man, I'm kind of thinking about it. 96 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 2: And I talked with with one of my friends who 97 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 2: had written a book, and then I was like, I'm 98 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 2: gonna hit up Jay and see what he thinks. And 99 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 2: so I called you up and I was like, hey, man, 100 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 2: like should I go traditional? Should I go like self published? 101 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 2: And you're like, well, traditional is good. You told me 102 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,279 Speaker 2: the reasons why. And it was like I always say, 103 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 2: like in life, you never see the entire path, but 104 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 2: you can look like in the headlights where it's like 105 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 2: if you drive at night, on see the entire path 106 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 2: to where you're going, but you can see the next 107 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 2: hundred feet in front of you. And like, the first 108 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 2: one hundred feet was calling my friend and I was like, hey, 109 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 2: you have a successful book, what should I do? And 110 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 2: then the next hundred feet was calling you up and 111 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, you should do this. And so then 112 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 2: I talked to an agent, well a little bit further on, 113 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 2: and it took three years, but it eventually came out, 114 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: but you were a part of it as well. 115 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 3: Man, I love it. 116 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: It took you thirty seconds to start dropping hacks, habits, 117 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:09,159 Speaker 1: and tools. 118 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 2: I love it. 119 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 3: And that's I know the. 120 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: Audience is going to love this conversation because I know 121 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 1: you all love mindset, I know you all love habits, 122 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: I know you love tools. This book is packed with them, 123 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 1: and today we're going to extract it all out of Rob. So, Rob, 124 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: I want to dive straight in because I think there's 125 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: so many things we can talk about, and I love 126 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,280 Speaker 1: that this book has so much to do with focus 127 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: and we. I feel like that's a topic that's really important. 128 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: We haven't had many guests that have shed a lot 129 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: of light on it, so this is perfect. Talk to 130 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: me about why, because I know you love the neuroscience. 131 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,039 Speaker 1: Why is it that we all want something? We have goals, 132 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: we have things that we believe are important, but we 133 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: struggle to focus on them. 134 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, there's a couple different things. I think. The 135 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 2: first thing is that we hold ourselves back from is 136 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 2: we have a lot of fears and fears when you 137 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 2: really start to dive into them, like you mentioned in 138 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,159 Speaker 2: the beginning of this started talking with you about like 139 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 2: the East, and you started I remember you told me 140 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 2: in twenty seventeen like you should read the bogg of Ikita. 141 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 2: So I literally wrote it. I got it like the 142 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 2: next week and read it while we were traveling, and 143 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 2: so there was that, And as I was writing the book, 144 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 2: I was like, what's the thing because the original tide 145 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,240 Speaker 2: of the book was the psychology of taking action? Because 146 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 2: I was looking at the mindset mentor podcasts. I have 147 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 2: fourteen hundred episodes and I was like, it's just me 148 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 2: speaking for almost every single one of them. And I 149 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,280 Speaker 2: was like, what do I teach? Like what do what 150 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 2: do people want for me? And I was like, it's 151 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: almost all like tips and tricks understand yourself to take 152 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 2: action because everybody who's listening to a podcast has the 153 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 2: awareness of I want to improve, I want to get better, 154 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 2: I want something different, but how do I do it? 155 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,919 Speaker 2: And so I started saying, Okay, if taking action is 156 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,280 Speaker 2: what the book's going to be about, like why don't 157 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 2: people take action in the first place? And one of 158 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 2: the things that pops up for people is fear, like 159 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 2: they're just there's some sort of fear that pops up 160 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 2: for them and I had a conversation with one of 161 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 2: my friends who went and lived in the tribe with 162 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 2: a tribe, a native Brazilian tribe in the middle of Brazil, 163 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 2: and so he had to fly into a town, he 164 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 2: had to hop on a boat and go for two 165 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 2: days on at in the middle of nowhere. And he 166 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 2: started talking to me about these things that he called 167 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 2: primal fears and intellectual fears. So, like a primal fear 168 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 2: is pain or death is attached to it, and we 169 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 2: don't really come up with too many primal fears in 170 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 2: our life nowadays. Intellectual fear is like what we deal 171 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 2: with all day long, which is, you know, the fear 172 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 2: of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of not 173 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 2: being accepted, the fear of success. We all these fears, 174 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 2: and all of these fears are made up in our minds. 175 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 2: And so I was listening to I'm pretty sure it 176 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 2: was sad Guru I was listening to, and I was like, 177 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 2: I put on and I was driving around in Sedona 178 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 2: as I was writing the book. I was there just 179 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 2: to try to get my whole mind together, is by 180 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,119 Speaker 2: myself writing it. And I was like looking at fears 181 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 2: and trying to figure them out. And one thing that 182 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 2: he said that like really hit me more than anything else, 183 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 2: is Okay, I've identified my fears, and the next thing is, well, 184 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 2: how do I overcome these fears? And if it's an 185 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 2: intellectual fear, the fears that exists in our minds is 186 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 2: you can't overcome something that doesn't exist. And so we 187 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 2: create we basically wake up with in the book we 188 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 2: wake up in the morning, we create the Boogeyman, which 189 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 2: is like the fear of success, the fear fairy, whatever 190 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 2: it is. And instead of actually taking the action that 191 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 2: we need to and focusing on what it is that 192 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 2: we want, we take all of our focus and put 193 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 2: it towards trying to overcome this fear, when in reality, 194 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 2: the fear doesn't even exist in the first place. And 195 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 2: so I think the biggest thing for most people is 196 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 2: like the fear is keeping you from focusing. But there's 197 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 2: also like the identity of who you think you are. 198 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 2: And one of my favorite things is challenging who I 199 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 2: think I am all the time. Like I love the 200 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 2: story and I put in the Book of Jim Carrey 201 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 2: when he decided to be and man on the moon 202 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 2: and the Man on the Moon was a movie where 203 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 2: he ended up playing Andy Kaufman, and there was a 204 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 2: whole documentary that was done on this and they curbed 205 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 2: it for like twenty years because it was so off 206 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: the rails of how crazy he went and what he 207 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 2: did was he It's a documentary called Jim and Andy 208 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 2: that's on him playing the role on Man on the Moon. 209 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 2: So Andy Kaufman was a guy who was once alive. 210 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 2: And the crazy part of any about Andy Kaufman is 211 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 2: he also played other characters. So it was Jim Carrey 212 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 2: playing Andy Kaufman, who played like Tony Clifton and other characters. 213 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 2: But the thing that happened with him was that he 214 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 2: would never break character, so he was a method actor. 215 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 2: So for four months he played as this real life person, 216 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 2: and even to the point where his driver that would 217 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 2: pick him up in Hollywood and drive him to his 218 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 2: house said that whoever he was playing at the time 219 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 2: that they stopped recording, whether it was Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, 220 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 2: he would play that person the entire day when he 221 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 2: was driving him home that night and he picked him 222 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 2: up and he was still the same person, not Jim 223 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,839 Speaker 2: Carrey anymore. And so what happened was he he ended 224 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 2: up like and it gets kind of crazy where he 225 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:40,199 Speaker 2: ends up doing therapy sessions with Andy Kaufman's real daughter 226 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 2: and his family to help them overcome his sudden death. 227 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 2: And so what happens is they stopped recording four months later, 228 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 2: and he's like, I don't know who I am and 229 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 2: he lost who he was, and he's like, I don't 230 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 2: know my beliefs. I don't know what makes me happy, well, 231 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 2: what makes me sad, what pisses me off anymore. He's like, 232 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 2: I've kind of just lost who Jim Carrey is. It's 233 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 2: kind of like his spiritual awakening that you've seen him 234 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 2: go through over the past twenty years. And he realized, 235 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 2: if I can lose Jim Carrey, then who the hell 236 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,679 Speaker 2: is Jim Carrey? And he realized that Jim Carrey is 237 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 2: just basically a character that he's playing all the time 238 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 2: that is completely somebody else, and he could just wake 239 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:17,719 Speaker 2: up another morning and act like he's somebody else. And 240 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 2: so I think that two of the things that really 241 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 2: keep us from focusing on stuff is we get really 242 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 2: afraid and fearful of making change or judgment or failure 243 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 2: and all that, and the other thing is like, who 244 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,439 Speaker 2: we actually truly think we are will hold us back 245 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 2: from tiking either the action that we need to or 246 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 2: you know, staying in the exact same position that we're in. 247 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:33,959 Speaker 3: I love that. 248 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,959 Speaker 1: I want to go down both of those routes because 249 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,320 Speaker 1: I find them both fascinating for different reasons. And I 250 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 1: want to go down that more spiritual ethereal journey as 251 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: well too, because yeah, but before we do that, I 252 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: want to make sure that so if we talk about 253 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: the fears that people are experiencing, as you said, a 254 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: lot of the time, it's an intellectual fear. 255 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 3: It's not real, but. 256 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,080 Speaker 1: It feels so real, feels really right, Like when someone 257 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 1: says like, oh, I'm really scared about what if I 258 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: get rejected from the job, or I'm really scared that 259 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: my partner is going to leave me, or I'm really 260 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: scared that I don't feel good enough or smart enough 261 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: to make it in whatever field it is, those feel 262 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: extremely real. How do you process a feeling that feels 263 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: real even though it may be intellect. 264 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 2: You yeah, well, so that's the beautiful thing about being 265 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 2: a human. And I think it's and you can correct 266 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,839 Speaker 2: me if I'm wrong, but I think it's actually in 267 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 2: the Bagavakisi. It gives an example of a lion attacking 268 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 2: you or tiger attacking you at night. And you know, 269 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,679 Speaker 2: one of the examples I give in the book is 270 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 2: similar that, where it's like, if you think about it, 271 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 2: if you we've all had this. We have a really 272 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 2: intense dream, like you're walking in a forest whatever it is, 273 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 2: and you see a lion. It starts running after you. You know, 274 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 2: you run from it. You turn, you look over, your 275 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,319 Speaker 2: shoulder's getting closer. You're still running from it. You turn 276 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 2: and look over your shoulder just as teeth are about 277 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 2: to dig into you. And you wake up in the 278 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,719 Speaker 2: middle of the night and your body didn't move at all, 279 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,559 Speaker 2: but you're sweating, you're out of breath, your heart rate 280 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 2: is in tensely going. And the amazing thing about being 281 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 2: a human, you know they usually say in any case, 282 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 2: is what your biggest strength is is also can be 283 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 2: your biggest fault. The thing about humans is that we 284 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 2: can project our minds into a future that doesn't exist yet. 285 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 2: And so what we can do right now is we 286 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,439 Speaker 2: can sit here. You know, we're in the studio. Everything 287 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 2: is amazing we have food, water, shelter, clothing, everything. But 288 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 2: if I'm like a lot of people do, Like if 289 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 2: I'm starting a business, right I can sit here and 290 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 2: I can think, well, I really want to start this business, 291 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 2: But then I start playing out all of the things 292 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 2: that could go wrong, which is what we tend to do, 293 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 2: not what goes right, but what could go wrong when 294 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 2: I project my mind into that future. The crazy part 295 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 2: is that my mind and my body are constantly connected, 296 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 2: So my brain is sending neuropeptides to my body and 297 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 2: creating hormones as if that moment is actually happening right now. 298 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 2: And so what happens is we tend to as humans, 299 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 2: as a protection mechanism, we tend to project ourselves into 300 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 2: a future that is fearful, that is scary, and that fearful, 301 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 2: scary feeling usually keep us in the exact same place. 302 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 2: And so what I always say is like, if I'm 303 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 2: going to imagine the worst that could happen, why don't 304 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 2: I at least try to see the best that could happen. 305 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 2: And so if I'm going to notice myself the awareness 306 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 2: of like I'm really in a lot of fear right 307 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,559 Speaker 2: now with starting this business, and I'm going, man, what's 308 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 2: the worst that could happen? Well, then I might as 309 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,559 Speaker 2: well close my eyes and say, like, what's the best 310 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 2: that could happen? And what would it feel like to 311 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 2: start this business and to be able to crack a 312 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 2: million dollars in a business? And how proud of myself 313 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 2: would I be to break a million dollars in sales 314 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 2: and to be able to build this and travel with 315 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 2: my family and provide what I've always wanted to provide. 316 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 2: And if I'm going to feel the feelings of fear, 317 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 2: why don't I also just try on feeling the feelings 318 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 2: of success in getting there. And so if we notice 319 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 2: it's an intellectual fear, the first piece that I always 320 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 2: say is there's three pieces. There's the awareness of it. Okay, 321 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 2: I'm aware. Then I'm in a state of fear. I 322 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 2: need a practice to get myself out of that. Okay, 323 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 2: if I notice myself in a state of fear, what's 324 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 2: my practice to get myself out of it? Well, I'm 325 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 2: gonna go ahead, and I'm gonna calm down and take 326 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 2: six deep breaths, and I'm gonna connect back to my heart, 327 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 2: and I'm gonna ask myself like, what's the best thing 328 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 2: that could happen. That's the practice to get myself out 329 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 2: of it. And then the last piece is repetition. So 330 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 2: it's awareness, it's practice, it's repetition. If I do it 331 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 2: over and over and over again, eventually I start to 332 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 2: rewire myself. So like, one of the things that that 333 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 2: I found in myself years ago that I didn't like 334 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 2: was was that I judge people. And I'm like, man, 335 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 2: I love people like I love I try to do. 336 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 2: I try to be of service as much as I can. 337 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 2: But an immediate thought that will come in my head 338 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 2: sometimes is like judgment of somebody that I don't know, 339 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 2: and I judge them, and I was like, I don't 340 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 2: like that pattern. I want to change this pattern within myself. 341 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 2: It's awareness. I've become aware of what I want to change. 342 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 2: And the one the first time I really did it, 343 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 2: I was at a grocery store and this guy had 344 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 2: this like bluetooth, you know, like the long bluetooth. It 345 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 2: was like as if he was, you know, making cold 346 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 2: calls at an office, but he was at the grocery store. 347 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 2: And immediately the first thought in my head was judgment. 348 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 2: And I always say, you can't change your first thoughts, 349 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 2: you could change your second thought. I noticed a judgment 350 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 2: is a first thought. Awareness. My practice that I decided 351 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 2: for myself was I'm going to force myself in my 352 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 2: head to say three things that I like about this guy. 353 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 2: I pause myself in the moment I found myself in 354 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 2: a pattern that I don't want to be in anymore. 355 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 2: What are three things that I like by the sky? 356 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 2: And I said it, and then I went on about 357 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 2: my day and I started doing this over and over 358 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 2: and over and over again. And one thing that I 359 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 2: noticed is that my first thought started changing to less 360 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 2: judgment and more acceptance, because ultimately that's what I really 361 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 2: want to work on, is more acceptance and loving of 362 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 2: people and of myself. And so I think it's it's 363 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 2: becoming aware of it. Once you're aware of the things 364 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 2: that you're trying the patter of you're trying to change, 365 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 2: what's the practice that you're going to take yourself down? 366 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 2: And then noticing that you're just going to need to 367 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 2: do it over and over and over again. But one 368 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 2: of the biggest keys is to give yourself grace as 369 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 2: you're doing it, because a lot of times we make 370 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 2: were become aware, and then we judge ourselves and we 371 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 2: beat ourselves up for it. So I think it's giving 372 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 2: yourself a lot of loving grace and going hey, I've 373 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 2: noticed this pattern. Don't worry, we're going to change it. 374 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 2: Let's go on practice and just continuing to do that. 375 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so well said. Hey everyone, it's Jay here. 376 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 1: My wife and I have had so much fun creating 377 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: our own sparkling tea Juni, and I've got big news 378 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: for you. 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I think so often 388 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: we get scared even of having the thought of what 389 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: could be possible, because we're scared that it can't be possible, 390 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: and we just find another thing to be fearful love. 391 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: And I love this idea of what you're saying around 392 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: transform in your thoughts, because I've definitely the more and 393 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: more I've studied books, the more and more I've read 394 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 1: and I've thought, I've discovered that all of our failure 395 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 1: and success in life is based on our most repeated thought. 396 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 1: And one of my biggest questions to most people I 397 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: meet now is what is your most repeated thought? And 398 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: most people don't know the answer because they're not aware 399 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 1: in your words, and a lot of people who do 400 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,160 Speaker 1: know will say it's something like I'm not good enough, 401 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: I don't like the way I look, I am ugly, 402 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: and whatever else it may be for them, right, And 403 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: so we're either aware and it's negative, or we're unaware 404 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 1: because it's so subconscious. And I've started to recognize that 405 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 1: most of the thoughts we have are not that different. 406 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,399 Speaker 1: They're the same thought that comes in a different voice, 407 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 1: a different tone, a different vocabulary, a different language, but 408 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 1: it's the same repetition. And so I've started to really 409 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: think about what's my most repeated door and how can 410 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: I be more? As you are saying, how can I 411 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: be more selective about it, and how can I choose 412 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 1: it more effectively rather than just let it be something 413 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: that's kind of just coming up. 414 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like not don't identify with your thoughts, 415 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 2: you know, like one of the things that I don't 416 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 2: remember where I heard it before, but the way I 417 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 2: like to think about it, and I've heard you say before, 418 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 2: even like a lot of people say, like, oh, I 419 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 2: struggle with meditating, and I've heard you say before, where 420 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,479 Speaker 2: it's not about mastering your thoughts. It's not about making 421 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 2: your thoughts going away. It's just becoming aware of your 422 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 2: thoughts a little bit more. Because when we close our eyes, 423 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,360 Speaker 2: you know, about sixty percent of our brain is visual 424 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,160 Speaker 2: for visual things to see. So when we close our eyes, 425 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 2: it kind of turns off a lot of parts, and 426 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:40,920 Speaker 2: so thoughts usually come up and we become aware of those. 427 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,760 Speaker 2: Like one of the things that I've been doing a 428 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 2: lot recently is like trying to be in as much 429 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 2: silence as possible, Like I'm just trying to be as 430 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 2: much silence as I possibly can, because I feel like 431 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 2: that's where a lot of my awarenesses, a lot of 432 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,400 Speaker 2: my answers come from, and so when you sit there, 433 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 2: and the analogy that I love when you start thinking 434 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,360 Speaker 2: of your thoughts is it's like sitting on the edge 435 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 2: of a mountain and down below there's just a road 436 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 2: going that you're looking at. And sitting on the edge 437 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 2: of the mountain is like meditating or just sitting in 438 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,439 Speaker 2: silence and just you know, looking at your thoughts, and 439 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,439 Speaker 2: you can watch the cars go by, the thoughts that 440 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 2: go by, and not have to be attached to them. 441 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 2: You don't find yourself getting sucked into the red car 442 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,920 Speaker 2: that just went by. You just watched the cars go by. 443 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,440 Speaker 2: And that's the way that I try to see my thoughts, 444 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,640 Speaker 2: which is Okay, I'm going to watch them go by. 445 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 2: I'm not going to connect to them, but I can 446 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 2: look at them and be like, is this thought, which 447 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 2: you know about ninety percent of our thoughts the same 448 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 2: as yesterday, is this thought helping me and trying to 449 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,199 Speaker 2: get to where I want to be in life? Or 450 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,119 Speaker 2: is this thought holding me back from trying to get 451 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,719 Speaker 2: to where I want to be in life? And if 452 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 2: it's helping me, then I want to strengthen it. If 453 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 2: it's not helping me, well then hey, as that guy 454 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 2: on the podcast said, I can control my first stop, 455 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,280 Speaker 2: I could troll my second, So what would I prefer 456 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 2: my second thought to be? 457 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you just hit the nail on the head, 458 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: like that's what it is for me. It's whether you've 459 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: understood that you're not your thoughts or not. That can 460 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: be quite hard for people because I think we're so 461 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 1: close to them. But even if you can practice distance 462 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,200 Speaker 1: through meditation or mindfulness, the real win is being able 463 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: to look at a thought and say is it good 464 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 1: for me? 465 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:07,719 Speaker 3: Or is it not helpful? 466 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 1: Like you just said, I think that is the wisdom 467 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: of it. That can I evaluate everything that's repetitive in 468 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: my mind and ask myself is this useful? Is it helpful? 469 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: Is it allowing me to move in the direction I want? 470 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: Because chances are a lot of what we're saying is 471 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: actually doing the complete opposite. And then you go, oh, 472 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,160 Speaker 1: wait a minute. Even though it's interesting and even though 473 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,359 Speaker 1: I could get lost in it, I don't want to 474 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: waste time, and therefore I'll move in the other direction. 475 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 1: You talk about procrastination in this book, and that, again 476 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 1: going back to your earlier title, is a block against 477 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 1: the psychology of action, and we all have a friend 478 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: or maybe we are that friend that constantly puts things off. 479 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:50,120 Speaker 1: We postpone, we procrastinate, We say I'll do it another year. 480 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: I want to launch a podcast. Someone's been saying that 481 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: for two years. There's someone listening right now who wants 482 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 1: to start on Instagram page. They put it off for 483 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 1: six months. There's someone listening who's like, oh, I missed 484 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 1: out in the clubhouse thing, and then I missed out 485 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 1: on the TikTok thing, and now I'm missing out on 486 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,879 Speaker 1: whatever the next thing is. And we procrastinate, hoping that 487 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 1: one day will come. What have you learned about procrastination 488 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,720 Speaker 1: through your research when you were writing the book that 489 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,159 Speaker 1: has helped people break that cycle? Because it seems to 490 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 1: apply to so many of our lives. 491 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 2: I mean, the thing about it is this, if I've 492 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 2: always I always like to be like very extreme in 493 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 2: examples because we can go extreme that it makes a 494 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 2: lot of sense. But I always tell people like and 495 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 2: I always say it like, hey, I've given this. When 496 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 2: I used to give a lot of speeches, I would 497 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 2: be in front of people and say, hey, what's the 498 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 2: chance of you making a million dollars this year? Give me? 499 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 2: Give me numbers, and everyone's like zero percent, zero percent, 500 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 2: zero percent, one percent, there's always one percent, like five 501 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 2: and that's like the most it'll get to. And I said, Okay, 502 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you the most extreme example, but I 503 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 2: just want to see what happens. Okay, what's the percentage 504 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 2: chance of you making a million dollars this year legally? 505 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,639 Speaker 2: And if you don't, everyone that you love dies. And 506 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 2: everyone's like one hundred percent, one thousand, one thousand percent. 507 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 2: I said, what changed? The goal? Didn't change, the timeframe, 508 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,880 Speaker 2: didn't change. Why you're doing it changed. Would you wake 509 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,400 Speaker 2: up in the morning if everyone that you loves life 510 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 2: depended on it and be like, yeah, well maybe I 511 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 2: should scroll on TikTok for a little while. No, you'd 512 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 2: be like, I'm going to take action immediately. And so 513 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 2: it doesn't need to be like a fear of losing everybody. 514 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 2: But what's really behind that is like why, like why 515 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 2: they're they're doing it? Like if I have a reflection 516 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,399 Speaker 2: of anyone who doesn't know Jay, like you're one of 517 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 2: the hardest working people I've ever met, but you have 518 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 2: a really strong why, right, And that's like one of 519 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,679 Speaker 2: the best parts about it. Where it's like when I 520 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 2: see jam like this guy has he has this internal 521 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 2: feeling of like I want to change the world, and 522 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 2: you work so hard trying to do it. And that's 523 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 2: one of the most beautiful things about you, is like 524 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 2: you're wanting to change the world and you have a 525 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 2: really strong why to it. And I think that if 526 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 2: most people could figure out, like, oh, yeah, well I 527 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 2: want to do this thing, why do you want to 528 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 2: do it? And my very first one on one coach 529 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 2: used to say to me, he would say, what's your why? 530 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 2: What's your why? Why are you doing this? Why are 531 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 2: you doing this? Even like hammer it home in my 532 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 2: head and I was like, why you asked this so much? 533 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,199 Speaker 2: And he would always say, because if your why is 534 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,639 Speaker 2: strong enough, your how will reveal itself. If you know 535 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 2: why you want to do something, how it's going to 536 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 2: be done, you'll figure out it doesn't matter. Things are 537 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,640 Speaker 2: going to get in your way. There's going to be obstacles. 538 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,680 Speaker 2: There's always gonna be obstacles, there's always going to be challenge, 539 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 2: there's always going to be moments of like I don't 540 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 2: know if I can do this, But if your why 541 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 2: is so strong, it's like I don't care what comes 542 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 2: up in front of me. I'm going to get it done. 543 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,879 Speaker 2: Like most people, they want to be motivated. And I 544 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 2: have come to hate the word motivation because motivation is 545 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 2: so fleeting, like we can wake up and we can 546 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 2: listen to a podcast where we can get you know, 547 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,160 Speaker 2: read something and be motivated, and then something can happen 548 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 2: to us and it's gone, which just disappears. What I 549 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,919 Speaker 2: want to be is I want to be driven. Like 550 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,680 Speaker 2: when you see a driven person, like you see it 551 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 2: in their eyes, like yeah, they're not stopping. And the 552 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 2: difference between a motivated person a driven person is that 553 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,959 Speaker 2: a driven person has this why that they want to 554 00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 2: see have happened in the world or in their life 555 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 2: or for their family. And so I think if people 556 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 2: are like I want to accomplish this goal, the very 557 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 2: next question is why, and then go why why? Why why? 558 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 2: And go deeper into it. An example I'd give him 559 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 2: the book is I had a coaching client years ago, 560 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 2: like eight nine years ago, and he was like, Rob, 561 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,400 Speaker 2: I want to make one hundred thousand dollars this year. 562 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 2: I've never made it, And I was like why, And 563 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,640 Speaker 2: I took him through what's called seven levels of why, 564 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 2: just keep asking why, why? 565 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 1: Why? 566 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 2: Why? 567 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 3: Why? 568 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:24,920 Speaker 2: And it went from I want to make a hundred 569 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 2: thousand dollars a year because I've never done it before 570 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 2: to the eventual thing was he had just got into 571 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 2: a divorce a couple of years ago. Both of his 572 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 2: young children lived in a bad part of town with 573 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 2: his ex wife. He wanted to regain custody because he 574 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 2: was afraid that both of his children would be killed 575 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 2: in a drive by and he was so terrified of 576 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 2: it that that was his actual true why, And so 577 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 2: it wasn't the motivation. I didn't have to talk to 578 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,200 Speaker 2: him say hey, you know how close you'd make a 579 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars this year? I said, hey, how 580 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:54,960 Speaker 2: close are you to provided more safety for your children 581 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 2: this year? Because he wanted them to move in with him. 582 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,439 Speaker 2: He wanted to be able to provide for them and 583 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 2: to make sure that they were safe. And so I 584 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 2: think that if we just ask ourselves, why do I 585 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,919 Speaker 2: truly want to accomplish this goal, it kind of reveals 586 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 2: itself and it makes it a lot easier to take 587 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:07,680 Speaker 2: the action. 588 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, I mean I you know, and I 589 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,200 Speaker 1: appreciate all the kind words but I can definitely say 590 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: the only thing that's kept me going is my why, 591 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: because I think there are so many things that either 592 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,199 Speaker 1: make you want to give up or slow down, or 593 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 1: become lazy or complacent. And when I look at it, 594 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,920 Speaker 1: and someone asked me this, I was sitting with another 595 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 1: creator end of last year and he was just like 596 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,160 Speaker 1: to me, Jay, why do you even do anything anymore? 597 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,400 Speaker 1: Like what's the point? Like it seems like you're good, 598 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 1: Like why do you need to do anything? And I 599 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 1: was like, We've just got to the start of Like 600 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,200 Speaker 1: I just got to the beginning of where I need 601 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 1: to be. I was like, we've just got to a 602 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,159 Speaker 1: point where we can connect with lots of people, but 603 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,480 Speaker 1: we need to give people the step by step process 604 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,199 Speaker 1: to transform their life. And now we can take them 605 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 1: on the journey because people are listening, they're engaged. We 606 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 1: have a community, we have a connection with people. But 607 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: when I started out, we didn't have any of that. 608 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 1: So I see it as we got to the start 609 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,679 Speaker 1: of where I want to be because and it was 610 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 1: just interesting to me that so many people struggle to 611 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 1: find their why, and I think it's because we don't 612 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 1: no one's and you just said, your coach helped you 613 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: do it. It was the same with me my art teacher 614 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,119 Speaker 1: at from age eleven to age eighteen. He was my 615 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 1: art teacher at school, and every time i'd paint something, 616 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: or draw something, or do a collage or graphic design 617 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: and whatever i'd do, the first question he'd ask me 618 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: is why did you do it? And I'd be like, 619 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,480 Speaker 1: because my initial response because it looks good like that, 620 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 1: you know, I was a kid, what do I know? 621 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:33,600 Speaker 3: And he'd be like. 622 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 1: Every year he'd be like, why did you do it? 623 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 1: And I'd be like, oh, because this color matches with 624 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 1: this color. And they'd be like, why do you do it? 625 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, because it reveals the metaphor that 626 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 1: I think this is about. And then he'd be like, 627 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,120 Speaker 1: why did you do it? And I'm like, because that's 628 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,160 Speaker 1: how I'm feeling right now, I'm trying to And every 629 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,359 Speaker 1: year it would ask me it would reveal more and 630 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,560 Speaker 1: more layers of my psyche in a similar way. And again, 631 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 1: I've owed it to someone in my life who pushed 632 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: me to ask the question why, same as you, and 633 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,880 Speaker 1: so I think what we're both saying is please ask 634 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,159 Speaker 1: that question to yourself. But what if someone asked that 635 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 1: question and they feel stuck and they kind of go, 636 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: I've asked it, but it's kind of just like just 637 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,120 Speaker 1: want a nice house. That could just want a nice car, 638 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 1: or just I just kind of want to you know, 639 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,040 Speaker 1: like it's not that deep. And I think you're right, 640 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 1: like you said, we don't have a lot of primal fears. 641 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: Like some people are listening right now will have fears 642 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 1: of survival and that is driving them and they are 643 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 1: working hard and they are pushing and at the same time, 644 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: but people who are like driven, but they're like, I'm 645 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 1: not driven enough because I haven't got anything to be 646 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 1: that scared about it, right, or that worried about what? 647 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,240 Speaker 1: How do that person discover their work? 648 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think for me, it's like my life was 649 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,439 Speaker 2: never terrible or you know, like when I when I 650 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,959 Speaker 2: started the Yeah, when I started the podcast the mindset 651 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,080 Speaker 2: mentor like I was at a point in my life 652 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 2: where I was making a whole bunch of money and 653 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 2: I was twenty seven years old, and I was making 654 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 2: two hundred and fifty grand a year, and I was 655 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 2: working from home and everything was great, but I felt 656 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 2: like I was slowly withering away. And I could see 657 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 2: what the future was going to be while I was there, 658 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 2: and I said, oh, okay, if I do this for 659 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 2: another five years and I'm thirty two years old and 660 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 2: I'm still doing this, or I have my manager's job, 661 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,400 Speaker 2: is that going to fulfill me? And it actually gave 662 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,920 Speaker 2: me more anxiety to think about having my manager's job. 663 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 2: And then I sat there and I thought, Okay, well, 664 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 2: like I really want to do this podcasting thing. It 665 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 2: seems to be going pretty well. I want to coach people. 666 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 2: I want to help people. And I also at the 667 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 2: same time, was like starting an Amazon business and trying 668 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,119 Speaker 2: to make money online and do that. And so I 669 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 2: thought about it and I asked myself, Okay, if I 670 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 2: fast forward five years from today, do I want to 671 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,879 Speaker 2: be the person that's in sales management like I'm doing 672 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 2: now and consulting. Do I want to be the guy 673 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 2: that's selling stuff on Amazon and you know, incredible Amazon 674 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 2: business person. Or do I want to be the guy 675 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 2: that's coaching people and helping people change their lives. And 676 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 2: the immediate answer was very clear, coaching people and changing 677 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 2: their lives. And I was like, Okay, well, that feels 678 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 2: like it's the path and then immediately comes up is 679 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 2: all kinds of fear because I don't know what I'm doing. 680 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 2: Like back in the day twenty fifteen, nobody made any 681 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 2: money in podcasts. I didn't have any idea of how 682 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 2: to grow a business any of that type of stuff. 683 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,479 Speaker 2: But what was important to me was number one, when 684 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 2: I fast forwarded into the future, the futures that I 685 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 2: didn't want seemed way more painful than trying the unknown 686 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 2: and what could be if I did take the path, 687 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 2: And so that was that became more of a fear, 688 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 2: like the fear of judgment, the fear of putting myself 689 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 2: out there are the people's opinions. It was there, it's 690 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 2: still there, and I don't know if you ever get 691 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 2: past it, but you just kind of get more used 692 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 2: to it. But the fear of being in the exact 693 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 2: same position, working the same job, maybe making a little 694 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 2: bit more money doing this for every day until the 695 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 2: day I die, was terrified. That that was a fear, 696 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,760 Speaker 2: and I was like, well, then this path of the 697 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 2: unknown isn't as scary, and so I might as well 698 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 2: take this path of the unknown and I'll be fully transparent. 699 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 2: There was I shared this on like one other time. 700 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 2: I think there was a moment in twenty fifteen where 701 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 2: I started the podcast. In August of twenty fifteen. November 702 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 2: of twenty fifteen, I was feeling like a whole lot 703 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 2: of fear, and I was like, I might have to 704 00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 2: go back and work for someone else again. And it 705 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,720 Speaker 2: was just fear was so in my head, and I 706 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 2: was like, I gotta go back to making money. I 707 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 2: got a new house, I got a mortgage. I don't 708 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 2: know how'm gonna do this. I'm not making any money 709 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,959 Speaker 2: doing this. My sister came out to me, and I believe, 710 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 2: you know, if you're silent, the messages are always there. 711 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 2: If you're looking the message, you're always there. And my sister, 712 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 2: I was at her house and she goes, hey, have 713 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 2: you ever seen this box the dad's stuff? And I 714 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 2: was like no, and she brought up my father was 715 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 2: an alcoholic. He passed away and I was fifteen from 716 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 2: his alcoholism. And she brought out this box and it 717 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 2: was like his glasses, there's a t shirt of his, 718 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 2: it was his watch, and the other things were a 719 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 2: bunch of letters. My dad was in jail for a 720 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 2: little while for multiple DUIs and they put him in jail, 721 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 2: and he would write letters to us. And he wrote 722 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 2: a letter to my sister on her nineteenth birthday and 723 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 2: I was reading this, you know, twenty fifteen, so he 724 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 2: would have wrote it to in nineteen ninety nine. And 725 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 2: the very last line was I hope you live your 726 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 2: life with courage, love and laughter. And I read it 727 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 2: and it was like the universe warped. And I was like, oh, 728 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 2: he wrote this for me. Like there was a moment 729 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 2: where I was like, he wrote this to my sister, 730 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 2: but the universe is giving this sussage through my dad 731 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 2: because I need to hear this right now because I'm 732 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 2: in so much fear. And the very first line is courage. 733 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 2: Live your life with courage, love and laughter. And I 734 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 2: was like, I got to commit, Like this has to 735 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 2: be the thing. I've got to make a decision. And 736 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 2: when you look at the root word of decision, it's dicaderia, 737 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 2: which means to cut off. I'm going to cut off 738 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 2: all other options. 739 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: You know. 740 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 2: I'd heard like Will Smith say there's no reason to 741 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 2: have Plan B because it distracts from Plan A, Like 742 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,720 Speaker 2: it's got to be the thing, and I was like, 743 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 2: oh my god, I got to commit to this thing. 744 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 2: I can't have any more feelings of like I'm going 745 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 2: to go back to working for someone else. Like this 746 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 2: is my life path. I'm either going to succeed it 747 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:40,959 Speaker 2: and I'm going to die trying. And I was like 748 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. I was like, I'm 749 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 2: going to get this tattooed to my arm, so I 750 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,800 Speaker 2: literally have you live your life with courage, love and 751 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,120 Speaker 2: laughter tattooed to my my very first tattoo I ever got. 752 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 2: But it was like for me, people always think like 753 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 2: when you make a decision, the fear disappears, like I 754 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 2: wish that I could do these things, but it's like 755 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 2: it's always there, but you've got to learn that, Like 756 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 2: the fear is always going to be there. But my 757 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 2: big fear is getting to end my life and having 758 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,160 Speaker 2: not done this, having not tried to help people, you know, 759 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 2: like being in the room with my father after he 760 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 2: passed away when I was fifteen years old and realizing, 761 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 2: because he was the first person I ever met the 762 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:18,320 Speaker 2: past away, I'm going to be there one day. And 763 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,480 Speaker 2: I saw it. I was like, oh, yeah, that's I'm 764 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 2: gonna He was a dreamer and he was an amazing person, 765 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 2: but he didn't do what he wanted to do. I 766 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 2: am not going to live that life. I'm going to 767 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,320 Speaker 2: create what I want to create. And now I have 768 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:32,959 Speaker 2: all of the other fears that everyone else has, but 769 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,160 Speaker 2: my biggest fear is getting to end my life and 770 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 2: not having tried or not having at least gone for it. 771 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I love hearing that. 772 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 1: And you've reminded me of a great speech that Jim 773 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,480 Speaker 1: Carrey gave funnily enough, and he talked about how his dad. 774 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 1: I believe his dad and I could be getting this wrong, 775 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,239 Speaker 1: but he said that his dad was an accountant and 776 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: he did that to be safe, and he said that 777 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 1: when he was young, his dad got made redundant from 778 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: his safe job. Right, Jim Carrey said that in life, 779 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 1: you are probably going to fail at something you don't love, 780 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,960 Speaker 1: so you might as well try something you do love, 781 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 1: like this idea that I'm choosing the safe option, or 782 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,440 Speaker 1: I'm choosing something that my parents taught my family wanted, 783 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: or I'm choosing something I think is secure even that's 784 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 1: unstable and uncertain, and so the uncertainty that you pursue 785 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 1: actually is less fearful because you're on top of it, 786 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: you're aware. And I think that's one of the biggest 787 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 1: habits that I think is changed my life is that 788 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: I stopped believing and accepting that I would get to 789 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: a place where I no longer had to use my brain. 790 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,840 Speaker 1: Right Like I think we all believe subconsciously somewhere that 791 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:47,800 Speaker 1: there's a paycheck, there's a bank balance, there's a home, 792 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: there's a fashion, there's a partner. That means from that 793 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 1: point on, I don't have to think about anything because 794 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,719 Speaker 1: it's all good. And I'd say my best habit in 795 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 1: life is recognizing that that is the biggest myth that 796 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 1: we've been sold and I just don't accept it. And 797 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:10,279 Speaker 1: I'm okay that my life requires constant work, ethic and 798 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: effort and awareness and being astute and being conscious because 799 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,560 Speaker 1: that is what's actually being demanded by this world. A 800 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:22,879 Speaker 1: uncertain world forces you to be conscious. But if you're 801 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 1: unconscious in an uncertain world, that's leading to a really 802 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:28,320 Speaker 1: dangerous place. 803 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:29,720 Speaker 3: Sure, but I think. 804 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 1: We're waiting for that moment where we can just not 805 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 1: be conscious because it's so much hard work. But to 806 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: your point, it's way hard at work being unconscious because 807 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 1: the amount of unconscious issues that arise are numerous. 808 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 2: I think there's like a lot of wisdom in what 809 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 2: you said, because a lot of people would rather just 810 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 2: be like, well, let me get to this destination once 811 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,319 Speaker 2: and there everything becomes better. 812 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,319 Speaker 3: Andy, I want that too, I do too right. 813 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 2: And I thought that for a long time. And it's 814 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 2: interesting the journey that I've had is, you know, I 815 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 2: always want to make money because I thought money was 816 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 2: going to give me what I needed. It would give 817 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,799 Speaker 2: me that safety and security that I never felt as 818 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 2: a child. And then I got to a goal that 819 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,280 Speaker 2: I wanted to get to, and I realized, I feel 820 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 2: exactly the same as I've always felt. I don't feel 821 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,279 Speaker 2: any different. I don't feel any more secure, I don't 822 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,759 Speaker 2: feel any happy, I don't feel any more loved. And 823 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 2: what I realized was I thought that the achievement, the 824 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,480 Speaker 2: recognition from other people, the money in my bank account, 825 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 2: the buying cool stuff would fill what I actually thought 826 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 2: was and consciously now know is I thought that all 827 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,440 Speaker 2: of those things would fill a void that was inside 828 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,440 Speaker 2: of me. And what I realized is what I was 829 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,920 Speaker 2: searching for from the external world is actually what I 830 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 2: was searching for for myself. And so the reason why 831 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,799 Speaker 2: I spend so much time in silence nowadays, I'll just 832 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,239 Speaker 2: go out of my porch and I'll just sit there 833 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:46,040 Speaker 2: for a couple hours is because I'm trying to fill 834 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 2: the void that I have created through life and through patterns, 835 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,480 Speaker 2: and through heartbreaks and through all of the things that 836 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 2: happened in my childhood. And I'm trying to be there 837 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 2: as the thirty eight year old man for the nine 838 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 2: year old boy that's still healing. And what I've realized 839 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,520 Speaker 2: is that none of the material things, anything externally, will 840 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 2: ever give me what I was ever searching for. Everything 841 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 2: I've always searched for in the external was what I've 842 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,560 Speaker 2: been searching for for myself. And so I don't one 843 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,239 Speaker 2: hundred percent agree with you. I don't think there's any 844 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 2: destination we ever get to. I think I'm constantly going 845 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 2: to overcome more things every single day. And you know, 846 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,080 Speaker 2: if I lived to one hundred, I would be so 847 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 2: lucky in another sixty two more years. I don't expect 848 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 2: that I'm going to get to the end of my 849 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,440 Speaker 2: life and be like I figured it out. I think 850 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,400 Speaker 2: the beautiful thing part about it is I think that 851 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 2: I was given this need for achievement to realize that 852 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:41,160 Speaker 2: it doesn't change anything because the path of wanting to 853 00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,960 Speaker 2: achieve and doing it through business and doing it through 854 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 2: growing and all that stuff has actually lit up inside 855 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 2: of me a spiritual journey that wouldn't have been there 856 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 2: had I not wanted to go for those things. 857 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, I heard this. 858 00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:01,720 Speaker 1: You're reminded me of this story that's told about Benjamin Franklin. 859 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 1: And Benjamin Franklin had thirteen virtues and these were all 860 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 1: qualities that he aspired to develop in his life. Simplicity, authenticity, patience, 861 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: things like that. And when he was on his deathbed, 862 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 1: they asked him which one he didn't accomplish and he 863 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 1: said it was the thirteenth one and they said what 864 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:21,279 Speaker 1: was that? 865 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 3: And he said humility. 866 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,760 Speaker 1: And I love that because I think what you're saying 867 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 1: is humility doesn't mean you're meek or weak. It means 868 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:33,360 Speaker 1: I'm able to accept there's always more to learn. I 869 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,920 Speaker 1: don't know everything, and it's okay. I'm going to give 870 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,480 Speaker 1: myself grace for it too. It isn't a feeling of 871 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,760 Speaker 1: I'm useless because I don't know. It's actually, I'll become 872 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 1: more useful if I recognize there are things that I 873 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,640 Speaker 1: still have to learn. And when I'm listening to you 874 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,279 Speaker 1: about your spiritual journey and that's silence, I'm intrigued by 875 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: that walk us through how you fill that void almost 876 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:03,000 Speaker 1: practice wise, because I identify with that fully. And it's 877 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:04,719 Speaker 1: funny because we always talked about how our lives were 878 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,080 Speaker 1: kind of opposite because when I met you, I'd kind 879 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,800 Speaker 1: of gone down this deep spiritual pause but had no money, 880 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,440 Speaker 1: and you were in the other boat where you you 881 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 1: had sustained yourself financially and create a really good stable 882 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:18,759 Speaker 1: place for yourself, but you were seeking spiritually, and so 883 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 1: we were kind of at right. We had that conversation. Yeah, 884 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,920 Speaker 1: and let's talk about that too. But I'm intrigued as 885 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,719 Speaker 1: to how does that a couple of hours or whatever, 886 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,920 Speaker 1: that time on your porch. 887 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,760 Speaker 3: Like, how do you do that for people? 888 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 1: Because I think we like the sound of that, but 889 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,440 Speaker 1: then we get distracted by the next thing. 890 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 2: What I've come to find and I can speak within 891 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,840 Speaker 2: myself and just what I've seen from other people, but 892 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,880 Speaker 2: what I've seen within myself is that I've learned a 893 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,480 Speaker 2: lot of lessons from my dad, most of them after 894 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,080 Speaker 2: his death. And me processing things. My father was the 895 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,560 Speaker 2: way that he was, and he became an alcoholic because 896 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,920 Speaker 2: he had things in his past that he hadn't worked through. 897 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 2: And the thing that he hadn't worked through is when 898 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 2: he was twelve years old, my father heard a gunshot. 899 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 2: He walked into the room and his dad had just 900 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 2: shot himself in the mouth of the shotgun. And so 901 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,160 Speaker 2: my dad grew up in rural Tennessee. This is nineteen 902 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 2: you know, sixties when this happened. Nineteen seeah, nineteen sixties. 903 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,040 Speaker 2: When this happened, there wasn't a whole lot for him 904 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,960 Speaker 2: to understand it. There weren't podcasts, there weren't books to 905 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,520 Speaker 2: read like we have nowadays. And so I always consciously 906 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 2: knew that what was happening was that he had not 907 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:26,520 Speaker 2: healed his pain. And Gabormante says, don't ask why the trauma, 908 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 2: asked why the pain. And when I first heard Gaborimate, 909 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, someone's finally saying what 910 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 2: I always thought with my father. And so you know, 911 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,279 Speaker 2: we can look at him and say, oh, yeah, he's 912 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,400 Speaker 2: an alcoholic and he didn't overcome as trauma. The trauma 913 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 2: the way it came up in my life is I 914 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,640 Speaker 2: became a workaholic, and so I didn't. You know, sometimes 915 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,799 Speaker 2: we could see someone and say, oh, they drink too 916 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 2: much alcohol, they do too much drugs, they eat too 917 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,640 Speaker 2: much food. They and we can say, oh, yeah, that's 918 00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:55,160 Speaker 2: their their addiction. The problem in the hard thing in 919 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,800 Speaker 2: our society is that my addiction of workaholic is rewarded 920 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 2: and people look up to it and they're like, you're 921 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:03,360 Speaker 2: doing so great, You're making so much money. All of 922 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,600 Speaker 2: this is so good. And what I came to find 923 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:10,440 Speaker 2: is that my workaholism was just basically me trying to 924 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,239 Speaker 2: not feel my feelings and to not work through and 925 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:17,520 Speaker 2: process those things. You know, like scrolling on social media 926 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,080 Speaker 2: could be that way for somebody. It could be some 927 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,600 Speaker 2: people are addicted to working out, some people are addicted to, 928 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 2: you know, watching TV, and there's so many some people 929 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,480 Speaker 2: addicted to shopping. There's so many different addictions that we have. 930 00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,719 Speaker 2: And what I found is that the hardest thing for 931 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:35,799 Speaker 2: me was to stop and to just not have to. 932 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,799 Speaker 2: I was always trying to fill every single moment of 933 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,719 Speaker 2: my day. I always try to be so busy. When 934 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 2: I didn't have something to do, I'd find something to 935 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,120 Speaker 2: do with my business. Businesses, you can always work all 936 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,480 Speaker 2: day every day. And so what I've tried to do 937 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,840 Speaker 2: and I've built in my business is a lot of 938 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,400 Speaker 2: systems and processes through my VP of Operations has really 939 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 2: helped me with this a ton to be able to 940 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 2: take a lot of stuff off my plate so that 941 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 2: I have more time to just be. It's my personal 942 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,120 Speaker 2: belief that I think that God, the universe, life, whatever 943 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,719 Speaker 2: it is, speaks in silence, and so if I want 944 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,720 Speaker 2: those messages, I need to be silent. What I found 945 00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,200 Speaker 2: for myself is when I would be silent, a lot 946 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,279 Speaker 2: of anxiety would come up, and I'll you gotta go 947 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:13,560 Speaker 2: to the next thing. You gotta go the next thing. 948 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,160 Speaker 2: This is stupid, you should be doing something else. And 949 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,920 Speaker 2: then I just realized that what I was trying to 950 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,680 Speaker 2: do is achieve to fill a void. But I could 951 00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:23,680 Speaker 2: sit here and There's been moments where I'll sit on 952 00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:27,640 Speaker 2: my porch and I'll literally just start crying, and I'm like, 953 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,520 Speaker 2: sometimes it's gratitude. Oh my God, I can't believe I've 954 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,640 Speaker 2: been given this life. I can't believe I've had these challenges. 955 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,719 Speaker 2: I can't believe that I've had this come up, but 956 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,160 Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for every single aspect of it. And 957 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:38,759 Speaker 2: sometimes i just sit there and tear it up and 958 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,160 Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know what this is, but this 959 00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 2: is something my body's releasing, and I need to be 960 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,480 Speaker 2: okay with this releasing process. You know. There's a really 961 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,400 Speaker 2: interesting thing that that people could look at. There's two 962 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:53,040 Speaker 2: videos that are really interesting on YouTube. One of them 963 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,000 Speaker 2: is called polar Bear Trauma, where they show a video 964 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,759 Speaker 2: of a polar there and they shoot it with a 965 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:01,240 Speaker 2: tranquilizer gun from a helicopter, chase it down the helicopter, 966 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,560 Speaker 2: really heightened experience. They shoot it with a traninkloves a gun, 967 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,839 Speaker 2: so it's still awake, but it's not, you know, completely out, 968 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:10,480 Speaker 2: and it starts having a convulsion, starts seizuring, and eventually 969 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,319 Speaker 2: after its seizure is it's what it's doing is it's 970 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,759 Speaker 2: releasing all of the cortisol, all of the adrenaline from 971 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,520 Speaker 2: its body so that there's no trauma that comes with it. 972 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:20,200 Speaker 2: And so then it goes after it's shaken for a while, 973 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,359 Speaker 2: it takes a really deep breath and it just kind 974 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 2: of calms down. Almost identical video of a impaula that 975 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 2: gets attacked by a jaguar, and the jaguar gets scared off, 976 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 2: it starts to convulse, It takes a deep breath, and 977 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,839 Speaker 2: then it moves it. And we're taught in our lives 978 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 2: at some point in time not to remove this and 979 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:41,960 Speaker 2: to work through these traumas and these feelings. I think 980 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,640 Speaker 2: children naturally do it through like temper tantrums. They move it, 981 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,279 Speaker 2: and sometimes as adults we either need to have like 982 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,440 Speaker 2: an adult temper tantrum in safety where you just take 983 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,520 Speaker 2: a pillow and you can be angry, you could be mad, 984 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,560 Speaker 2: you can just scream, you can cuss, you can smash 985 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,359 Speaker 2: it against the bed, whatever it is in safety by 986 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,520 Speaker 2: yourself without other people around, so you don't scare as well. 987 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,640 Speaker 2: And then sometimes it's also just like sitting there in 988 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 2: silence and realizing that what is coming is going. It's 989 00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 2: like when you squeeze an orange, what's inside of it 990 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,480 Speaker 2: orange juice, because that's what's in it. Right when you 991 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,000 Speaker 2: sit there and you put pressure on yourself or you 992 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,200 Speaker 2: give yourself space, what's coming out is ask you what's inside, 993 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,200 Speaker 2: and your body's natural intelligence is trying to let go 994 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 2: of it. And so for me. That's what I found 995 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,840 Speaker 2: is that there's some moments where I'm just like incredibly grateful, 996 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:26,399 Speaker 2: or some moments roun by doing nothing, Jay, I get 997 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,120 Speaker 2: so much anxiety and I'm like, what is this why? 998 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,400 Speaker 2: And instead of running from it, I get curious, and 999 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,359 Speaker 2: I think if we could just get more curious. Like 1000 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,160 Speaker 2: I've been reading a whole lot of Christian Murty recently. 1001 00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:41,279 Speaker 2: I love Christian Murty, and one says. One thing he 1002 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,960 Speaker 2: says is don't know yourself because knowing is based in 1003 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,720 Speaker 2: the past, and past is based off of memories. Start 1004 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,000 Speaker 2: learning yourself, which is in the present moment. So be 1005 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,520 Speaker 2: present and be like, what comes up? How can I 1006 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,960 Speaker 2: be curious about this anxious feeling or these tears or 1007 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,000 Speaker 2: whatever it is, and just be be in the space 1008 00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 2: to just know yourself or get to know yourself a 1009 00:43:59,040 --> 00:43:59,720 Speaker 2: little bit better. 1010 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:00,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so great. 1011 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,359 Speaker 1: I mean talking about that, that goes to me back 1012 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:05,799 Speaker 1: to what we were talking about the start of it. 1013 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,960 Speaker 1: You were saying, how this idea of well, what if 1014 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,720 Speaker 1: the worst thing happens, what if the best thing happens? 1015 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,279 Speaker 1: And we're talking about this idea of Jim Carrey, and 1016 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:16,440 Speaker 1: you were saying that there's this experience of well, I 1017 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:20,560 Speaker 1: lost who Jim Carrey was. And what we've both talked 1018 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,480 Speaker 1: about is we are so much of what our thoughts are, 1019 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:26,120 Speaker 1: and if if you change the thoughts completely, you're almost 1020 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,960 Speaker 1: a completely different humor. Sure, so then who are we? 1021 00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 1: Right comes back to this know thyself asus learning thyself? Like, 1022 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:36,880 Speaker 1: what has that spiritual journey taken you on to understanding identity? 1023 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:43,879 Speaker 2: I mean, God, yeay, that's that. I'm just I am 1024 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:47,960 Speaker 2: just a soul that chose this life. And one of 1025 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,120 Speaker 2: the things that I like to do is I like 1026 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:53,560 Speaker 2: to think that I chose this life in that immediately 1027 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,200 Speaker 2: takes me from being a victim in my life. Oh 1028 00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,239 Speaker 2: what was me? My father was this way, he did 1029 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,040 Speaker 2: this to me, did this to me, and my teachers 1030 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,719 Speaker 2: acted this way versus me going like, I think my 1031 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:09,040 Speaker 2: soul chose this life because this is whatever is needed 1032 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,839 Speaker 2: for this path that it's on for, you know, whether 1033 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,279 Speaker 2: it's reincarnation or whether it's heaven or hell or whatever 1034 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 2: it comes after this, I don't know, but I do know, 1035 00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,759 Speaker 2: like right now I do have this life as Rob dile, 1036 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,640 Speaker 2: and as I get older, the thing I realized that 1037 00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,799 Speaker 2: my body changes I'm not as fast as I used 1038 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,319 Speaker 2: to be. I'm a lot more sore than I used 1039 00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,880 Speaker 2: to be. Like my body's changing, but my soul is 1040 00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:32,160 Speaker 2: this thing that is just always there. And so the 1041 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 2: thing that I've that I've come to realize is that 1042 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,880 Speaker 2: I want to I don't know if it's going to 1043 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:40,320 Speaker 2: sound weird, like I want to unattach myself from this body, 1044 00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:42,880 Speaker 2: from everything around me, and I want to try to 1045 00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,480 Speaker 2: connect back to what's internally inside of me. And the 1046 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,440 Speaker 2: one thing that I find is that that never changes, 1047 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:53,200 Speaker 2: like that there's like a truth that's behind that, and 1048 00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,120 Speaker 2: truth is a thing that never changes. If something changes, 1049 00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 2: or if something could be questioned, it's not true. But 1050 00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:01,319 Speaker 2: there's this feeling that feels like truth inside of me 1051 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,200 Speaker 2: at least. And everybody has their own truth, but for me, 1052 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,920 Speaker 2: my truth is there's something that's behind all of it. 1053 00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,080 Speaker 2: And the more that I connect to it, the more 1054 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,279 Speaker 2: peace that I have. Like I listen to a lot 1055 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,279 Speaker 2: of Ramdas, and one of the things that he said 1056 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,000 Speaker 2: I was listening to him on the drive over here 1057 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,759 Speaker 2: and I listen to his meditation every day is the 1058 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:23,200 Speaker 2: only work that you have to do is the connection 1059 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,840 Speaker 2: to your own heart, and so I'm always constantly thinking 1060 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:30,799 Speaker 2: what's in the way of my own heart, what material possessions, 1061 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,800 Speaker 2: what things that I want to get her in the 1062 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,640 Speaker 2: way of that. And the reason why I think that 1063 00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,359 Speaker 2: it helps is number one. I've had so much more 1064 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:42,319 Speaker 2: peace from trying to connect to that. And my relationship 1065 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:44,239 Speaker 2: with my wife has been so much better because of it. 1066 00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:47,239 Speaker 2: Because I'm not blocking her from letting her in, she's 1067 00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:51,640 Speaker 2: experiencing me fully, she starts to be able to open 1068 00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:53,520 Speaker 2: up even more in different ways, I'd be able to 1069 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,520 Speaker 2: experience her more fully. And so for me, it's just 1070 00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:59,040 Speaker 2: like connecting to the thing that's behind it that feels 1071 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:01,480 Speaker 2: like the only thing that's true. Now. Mind you, if 1072 00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,640 Speaker 2: Rob fifteen years ago had heard this, he would be like, 1073 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,359 Speaker 2: what the hell is that guy talking about? It would 1074 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,600 Speaker 2: make no sense. But on this journey, I've just kind 1075 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,600 Speaker 2: of realized that there's something behind it all, and I 1076 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:14,160 Speaker 2: want to try to connect to that something behind it 1077 00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 2: all and see what it is. And so for me, 1078 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,279 Speaker 2: it's like I like to use myself as a guinea pig. 1079 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,760 Speaker 2: Everything I teach in the Mindset Mentor and the podcast 1080 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,040 Speaker 2: is all stuff that I'm trying within myself, and I 1081 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,759 Speaker 2: use it as almost my own therapy sessions where I'm 1082 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,280 Speaker 2: talking to everybody, but I'm talking to myself. I'm reminding 1083 00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:31,640 Speaker 2: myself of all these things. And what I realized is 1084 00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,440 Speaker 2: I realized that after fifteen nineteen years of personal development, 1085 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:39,239 Speaker 2: it's like, you know, personal development's like this cup right here, 1086 00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,680 Speaker 2: and I feel like my cup in person ELM was overflowing. 1087 00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:45,359 Speaker 2: And then I found spiritual development and I realized, oh 1088 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,400 Speaker 2: my god, it's a lot bigger cub and it's not 1089 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,440 Speaker 2: even close to being full, Like it's a bucket and 1090 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,799 Speaker 2: it needs It's my next thing that I'm working on. 1091 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,479 Speaker 2: So for me, it's like the mindset, the working through, 1092 00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:56,359 Speaker 2: like I'm constantly working on those and trying to get better. 1093 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:58,040 Speaker 2: But for me, it's like I want to connect to 1094 00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,600 Speaker 2: myself and see what else is in there. 1095 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:01,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, thank you for sharing that. 1096 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:07,240 Speaker 1: I mean, you made me remember a CS Lewis statement 1097 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,759 Speaker 1: that says you don't have a soul, you are the 1098 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,760 Speaker 1: soul and you have a body. Yeah, And I remember 1099 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,319 Speaker 1: I used to have that written on a little post 1100 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:16,600 Speaker 1: it note and I used to just look at it 1101 00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,000 Speaker 1: every day first thing in the morning because I was 1102 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:23,239 Speaker 1: thinking about this concept of identity that the first thing 1103 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,359 Speaker 1: ninety nine percent of us do when we wake up, 1104 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,480 Speaker 1: first thing in the morning is we look in the mirror. 1105 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:29,520 Speaker 3: Usually we say. 1106 00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:33,640 Speaker 1: Something like, oh I look tired or don't like that spot, 1107 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:36,080 Speaker 1: or God, I put on way. 1108 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,000 Speaker 3: God, whatever it is. 1109 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,399 Speaker 1: Right now, all of a sudden, we're already in the 1110 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:43,719 Speaker 1: bodily concept of life, this bodily consciousness, and now you 1111 00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,840 Speaker 1: live your whole day thinking about the body. Whereas the 1112 00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,719 Speaker 1: body need the body needs food, et cetera, and so 1113 00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:53,000 Speaker 1: and that's natural, Like, that's not unnatural, that's normal. 1114 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:54,520 Speaker 3: Like I do that too. 1115 00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,359 Speaker 1: But then you're saying that at the same time, you've 1116 00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:02,360 Speaker 1: got a nurture and nourish and connect with this deeper sense. 1117 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 1: How do you balance the two in a real world 1118 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,520 Speaker 1: where you have responsibilities, you have bills, you have things 1119 00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 1: to do that are connected to the body. But then 1120 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,840 Speaker 1: at the same time, we're like, but you're not this body, 1121 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,960 Speaker 1: So how do you balance how do you make sense 1122 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,720 Speaker 1: of these two seemingly opposite pursuits. 1123 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm the thing that that I think 1124 00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:22,560 Speaker 2: I would have thought five or ten years ago, was 1125 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,440 Speaker 2: that the more that I get into spiritual goverment. The 1126 00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,880 Speaker 2: less motivated I'll become with the most the less I 1127 00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,200 Speaker 2: will want to achieve. That hasn't gone away any sort 1128 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,560 Speaker 2: of way. But what I have found is that I 1129 00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:40,839 Speaker 2: achieve through a place of it's more like I'm not 1130 00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:43,319 Speaker 2: white knuckling my way through life anymore. I'm not I 1131 00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,120 Speaker 2: can take action and not be so wrapped up in 1132 00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:49,000 Speaker 2: my fears and my limiting beliefs, and so it's not 1133 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,920 Speaker 2: like I'm in the world and of the world at 1134 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,080 Speaker 2: the same time, where it's like the soul is here 1135 00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,160 Speaker 2: and I get as I'm speaking to everything that I say. 1136 00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,120 Speaker 2: Is also something that I struggle with every single day. 1137 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,680 Speaker 2: I have not met for this process. There'll be times 1138 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:05,040 Speaker 2: where I find myself just so in the world and 1139 00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,640 Speaker 2: I'm just like stress, there's things happening. There's this business 1140 00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:09,600 Speaker 2: where there's all of this. You know, we've got employees, 1141 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,440 Speaker 2: we're hiring people, there's stuff happening. And then I just 1142 00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:15,799 Speaker 2: take a step back and I'm like, it's just it's 1143 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,759 Speaker 2: just like a kind of like a game, like take 1144 00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,719 Speaker 2: a second, like that's it's all real. I'm not saying 1145 00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:23,080 Speaker 2: that's it's not true. It's not reality. It's not in 1146 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,879 Speaker 2: front of you, it's all there. But behind it all, 1147 00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,759 Speaker 2: if I can connect to like a deeper sense that's 1148 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,440 Speaker 2: within me and in the soul that I feel is 1149 00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:35,080 Speaker 2: in there, I'm like, hey, man, chill out for a second. 1150 00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,520 Speaker 2: Like it's really not that big of a deal, right, 1151 00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:39,520 Speaker 2: most things you know, there are There are definitely some 1152 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,720 Speaker 2: things that are big deals in people's lives, and there's deaths, 1153 00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:44,799 Speaker 2: and there's there's things that people have to you know, 1154 00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:46,719 Speaker 2: be in control of and be able to pay bills 1155 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,719 Speaker 2: and all that stuff. All those are real and they're 1156 00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:53,120 Speaker 2: definitely necessary. But behind it all, you're still there, and 1157 00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:56,880 Speaker 2: there's this thing that if I can take myself back 1158 00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:58,680 Speaker 2: and kind of like out of my own head and 1159 00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:01,160 Speaker 2: kind of into my heart, which has been a big 1160 00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:04,000 Speaker 2: journey for me because I was I'm so analytical and 1161 00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,439 Speaker 2: was never really taught like feelings and how to feel 1162 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,359 Speaker 2: and process emotions. But if I can take myself out 1163 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,200 Speaker 2: of my head and into my heart, what I've always 1164 00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:13,080 Speaker 2: found is that my head is always projecting itself into 1165 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,680 Speaker 2: the future or sometimes projecting itself into the past. But 1166 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:17,800 Speaker 2: most for me, like if I said, owt to meditate, 1167 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,200 Speaker 2: sometimes it's like all of my to do list, all 1168 00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:21,520 Speaker 2: of the things that I have to do, and it's 1169 00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:24,919 Speaker 2: projecting itself into the future. So my brain is always 1170 00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:29,040 Speaker 2: somewhere else. My body it's always here. And so when 1171 00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,160 Speaker 2: I know as myself gets stressed, I knowice myself get anxious, 1172 00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,799 Speaker 2: I notice myself whatever feelings I might be feeling. If 1173 00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,359 Speaker 2: I can take a couple of deep breaths and kind 1174 00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,920 Speaker 2: of get back into my body, I'm like, it's not 1175 00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 2: that bad. Like you'll fit you. You have overcome so 1176 00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,640 Speaker 2: many things in your life. You'll figure out a way 1177 00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,080 Speaker 2: to get through it. And so what I've found is 1178 00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,000 Speaker 2: that it's not that I don't take the action. It's 1179 00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:51,359 Speaker 2: not that I'm not wanting to achieve more and more 1180 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,399 Speaker 2: things and be able to have more fun and more 1181 00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,680 Speaker 2: do all of this stuff in the external world. But 1182 00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,640 Speaker 2: when I find myself kind of take a step back 1183 00:51:57,920 --> 00:51:59,920 Speaker 2: and kind of be in my heart is it may 1184 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,080 Speaker 2: makes it a lot easier. I'm not like white knuckling 1185 00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,439 Speaker 2: and forcing my way through life. It's almost like I'm 1186 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:09,080 Speaker 2: allowing life to happen through me. And I don't know 1187 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,439 Speaker 2: how it works, and I don't pretend to be smart enough, 1188 00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:15,040 Speaker 2: but things start happening around me that helped me in 1189 00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:18,520 Speaker 2: the process of getting to wherever it is that I 1190 00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:19,719 Speaker 2: actually want to truly go. 1191 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:24,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's there's this really interesting thing in Eastern traditions. 1192 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 1: There's obviously this idea of oneness and that everything's one, 1193 00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:33,480 Speaker 1: and then there's this idea of duality, that there's this 1194 00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:37,359 Speaker 1: side and then there's this side. And one teaching that 1195 00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:43,399 Speaker 1: I've really connected with is this idea of simultaneously one 1196 00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,840 Speaker 1: and different, and it sounds complex, but it's actually not. 1197 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,839 Speaker 1: It's this idea that this feels real and it can 1198 00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:52,399 Speaker 1: be real, and it is real, and at the same 1199 00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,960 Speaker 1: time there is a greater reality. So rather than this 1200 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,680 Speaker 1: feeling of everything's one, everything's the same, or it's disconnected, 1201 00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,279 Speaker 1: there's real and fake, it's actually this idea that a 1202 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,560 Speaker 1: lot of things are real, but they're not the full picture. 1203 00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:06,279 Speaker 1: So the idea that today in La it's like saying 1204 00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:09,440 Speaker 1: the weather is rainy and cloudy, but that's not the 1205 00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,880 Speaker 1: weather everywhere. So it's my current reality, but it's not 1206 00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:17,000 Speaker 1: reality across the whole world. And when you start looking 1207 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,520 Speaker 1: at life in that way of there's this reality and 1208 00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:23,120 Speaker 1: then there's this bigger reality, I think that's that. Zoom out, 1209 00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,640 Speaker 1: that's that, Let me take a breath, that's that. Let 1210 00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:28,520 Speaker 1: me look at the inner world as well. And I 1211 00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,120 Speaker 1: think what it does is it gives you a certain grace, 1212 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:35,080 Speaker 1: and it gives you a certain detachment disconnection, but also 1213 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:39,759 Speaker 1: way recognition of the significance of what you do and 1214 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:41,560 Speaker 1: the insignificance. 1215 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:42,800 Speaker 3: Of both are so needed. 1216 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,440 Speaker 1: Like I believe what I do is significant, and at 1217 00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,560 Speaker 1: the same time, it's totally insignificant. 1218 00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:48,000 Speaker 3: You won't. 1219 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:49,680 Speaker 2: We won't be remembered in a thousand years. 1220 00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:53,040 Speaker 3: And it's so okay, but we take it so seriously. 1221 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,680 Speaker 1: And if you only do one or the other, Like 1222 00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:58,480 Speaker 1: if I only see my life as extremely significant, everything's 1223 00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:02,080 Speaker 1: too high pressure. Oh my gosh, I would it would 1224 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,400 Speaker 1: hurt me and it would cause me pain if I 1225 00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,640 Speaker 1: thought everything I did was of utmost significant and if 1226 00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,040 Speaker 1: I thought my life was insignificant. If I thought my 1227 00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:12,480 Speaker 1: life was irrelevant, that would be really bad for my 1228 00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,720 Speaker 1: self esteem. I do anything, I won't be able to function. 1229 00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:17,960 Speaker 1: And so I think it's really interesting because the more 1230 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,919 Speaker 1: and more I'm learning, I'm like, I have to learn 1231 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:23,280 Speaker 1: how to hold these two seemingly opposite things, but actually 1232 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:28,000 Speaker 1: they're so connected and symbiotic, and they're so synchronous because 1233 00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:33,359 Speaker 1: they both have value. Going back to which thought has value, 1234 00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:37,360 Speaker 1: the collective thought of my life is significant and insignificant 1235 00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,840 Speaker 1: is the most helpful thought, because thinking I'm significant and 1236 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:42,400 Speaker 1: insigniant were both unhelpful thoughts. 1237 00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:45,480 Speaker 2: Oh my god, you actually just summarize perfectly what I 1238 00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,879 Speaker 2: feel like actually has been going through my head for years, 1239 00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:52,040 Speaker 2: which is what I do. I do believe is so important, 1240 00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,880 Speaker 2: and at the same time, I'm like, none of it matters, right, 1241 00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:59,839 Speaker 2: It's this weird duality free but it's so fering because 1242 00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:02,360 Speaker 2: it it takes so much pressure off where it just 1243 00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:06,160 Speaker 2: becomes like fun, Like it's how can I bring more 1244 00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:09,960 Speaker 2: fun into life? Like when did we lose the joy 1245 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,360 Speaker 2: of life and the fun of life that we had 1246 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,400 Speaker 2: as children? When was it programmed out of us? And 1247 00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,640 Speaker 2: how can I connect to that child and bring that 1248 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:17,759 Speaker 2: spirit back in and be like, yeah, I'm going to 1249 00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,600 Speaker 2: do some amazing things in the world, but without it 1250 00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:23,000 Speaker 2: being stressful, with just with it being fun and with 1251 00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:25,160 Speaker 2: it being something that I can do in it and 1252 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,480 Speaker 2: it effortlessly flows out of me, Like I believe that 1253 00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:33,239 Speaker 2: every single person is incredibly creative and we are creators 1254 00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,440 Speaker 2: at the actual core of us, and a lot of 1255 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,560 Speaker 2: us have lost it, and I lost it for years, 1256 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,879 Speaker 2: and so what I think is, how can I make 1257 00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,480 Speaker 2: the creativity flow out of me in some sort of 1258 00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,520 Speaker 2: way and just allow the space for it to happen. 1259 00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,239 Speaker 2: And one of the things that happens, and it's not 1260 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:52,000 Speaker 2: necessarily my goal of it, but when I sit in silence, 1261 00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,439 Speaker 2: I get ideas that come through and I'm like, oh man, 1262 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,759 Speaker 2: I don't know how I didn't see this, And that's 1263 00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:58,960 Speaker 2: where they all are. So it's like a lot of 1264 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:00,839 Speaker 2: times we're trying to force things that happen. We're trying 1265 00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,280 Speaker 2: to force creative You're trying to force ideas. But sometimes 1266 00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,719 Speaker 2: when I get there, I'm like, oh man, yeah, this 1267 00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:07,880 Speaker 2: is the thing I've been searching for. And it's just 1268 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,319 Speaker 2: I think every person just needs to give themselves just 1269 00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:13,160 Speaker 2: a little bit more space to not be on their phone, 1270 00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,600 Speaker 2: to not be constantly, you know, And a lot of 1271 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,880 Speaker 2: people have children and their children are up. Can you 1272 00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:19,319 Speaker 2: wake up a little bit earlier and not be on 1273 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:21,799 Speaker 2: your phone and just sit in silence and see what 1274 00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,319 Speaker 2: comes up? And I think that it's really important for 1275 00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:28,440 Speaker 2: people because what you'll notice is exactly what you're saying, 1276 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,400 Speaker 2: which is what we do. Like this life is so important, 1277 00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,480 Speaker 2: but it is very insignificant, and that's okay, there's nothing 1278 00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:36,840 Speaker 2: wrong with that. Like I've I love watching videos on 1279 00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,239 Speaker 2: YouTube about how small the Earth is compared to the 1280 00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,759 Speaker 2: rest of the universe, and it stresses my wife out. 1281 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,840 Speaker 2: She's like, I'm gonna have a panic attacker. Why do 1282 00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,960 Speaker 2: you watch this because I like to remind myself that 1283 00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:50,680 Speaker 2: even though it's all happening and I'm in it, none 1284 00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:51,880 Speaker 2: of it actually truly matters. 1285 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:52,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's okay. 1286 00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,319 Speaker 1: Absolutely, And I think when I'm listening to you, there's 1287 00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:59,680 Speaker 1: this feeling that, you know, I feel like I agree 1288 00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:01,440 Speaker 1: with you. I think everyone is a creator. I do 1289 00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:04,640 Speaker 1: believe that creativity flows when we connect with that, but 1290 00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:07,719 Speaker 1: I think sometimes we feel so distracted from it, and 1291 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:09,799 Speaker 1: it's so much easier to pull out our phone. It's 1292 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,080 Speaker 1: so much easier to put on a show in the background, 1293 00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,440 Speaker 1: it's so much easier to do all of these it's 1294 00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:15,920 Speaker 1: so much easier to do all those things at the 1295 00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:19,760 Speaker 1: same time. Like now we're no longer ever with one person. 1296 00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:23,360 Speaker 1: We're with one person, we're both on our phones, and 1297 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,840 Speaker 1: we're watching a show at the same time, and we've 1298 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,400 Speaker 1: got our laptops doing work. So you've literally got three 1299 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:33,000 Speaker 1: screens in front of you, five screens in total. And 1300 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:37,000 Speaker 1: there's so much distraction, right we know that, How does 1301 00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:39,280 Speaker 1: a person possibly And I say this out of like 1302 00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:42,880 Speaker 1: compassion and empathy because it's like it requires so much 1303 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:46,480 Speaker 1: from us because everything around us is built for distraction. 1304 00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,120 Speaker 1: The foods we're eating, the things we drink and consume, 1305 00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:53,400 Speaker 1: the stuff that's created around us, it's all to distract. 1306 00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:56,560 Speaker 1: So you're fighting like almost what feels to a lot 1307 00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:58,040 Speaker 1: of people like a losing battle. 1308 00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,000 Speaker 3: What do you do to get pick yourself back? 1309 00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:04,600 Speaker 2: I mean, what's more? What's more important than that? You know, Like, 1310 00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,360 Speaker 2: what's more important than connecting to your true self? To 1311 00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:11,080 Speaker 2: working on yourself? Like I why do I like, why 1312 00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,120 Speaker 2: am I so hardcore in mindset? Because I know how 1313 00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:15,360 Speaker 2: many people are so wrapped up in in their mindset 1314 00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,160 Speaker 2: and their thoughts and their beliefs and their patterns that 1315 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,320 Speaker 2: they're stuck in. And what ultimately we all want, I 1316 00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:25,000 Speaker 2: think is freedom. And the way to get through to 1317 00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,360 Speaker 2: that freedom is to work on yourself, whatever that looks 1318 00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:30,280 Speaker 2: like for whatever stage someone is in you know, and 1319 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:34,240 Speaker 2: I can have empathy for every person at every stage 1320 00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,280 Speaker 2: because I've been through so many stages of my process, 1321 00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,800 Speaker 2: and I think that it comes back to like why 1322 00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,200 Speaker 2: are you doing it? What do you want? If you're 1323 00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:46,440 Speaker 2: trying to disconnect from your phone? Why you know? Like 1324 00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:49,800 Speaker 2: for me, like I recently deleted Instagram from my phone. 1325 00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:52,240 Speaker 2: I did it last year for a month fell like, 1326 00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:54,240 Speaker 2: go was amazing. The book came out and I was like, 1327 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,800 Speaker 2: I gotta get back on. I got to promote, I 1328 00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:58,160 Speaker 2: got to make sure things are good. I recently just 1329 00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,240 Speaker 2: deleted it again. And now everything that I post, everything 1330 00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:03,560 Speaker 2: flows through my team, So it's not like it's just gone, 1331 00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,520 Speaker 2: it's just now I just happened to flow. Everything flows 1332 00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:09,680 Speaker 2: through my team. Why did I do that, though, was 1333 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:14,240 Speaker 2: because I don't want to live my life on that phone. 1334 00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:16,520 Speaker 2: And that one thing that I noticed is that Instagram 1335 00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:18,560 Speaker 2: was one of the things where I would pick it 1336 00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,920 Speaker 2: up and I would just somehow get to it, and 1337 00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,720 Speaker 2: I wasn't even thinking about getting to it, and I 1338 00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,439 Speaker 2: was like, my life is not this little tiny thing. 1339 00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:30,880 Speaker 2: My life is everything that's out here, and so why 1340 00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:32,920 Speaker 2: do I want to get Why did I delete it 1341 00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,880 Speaker 2: was because I actually want to be in everything. I 1342 00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,480 Speaker 2: want to be present with my wife when we have children. 1343 00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:40,320 Speaker 2: I want to be present with our children. I want 1344 00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,760 Speaker 2: to be the most present version of myself as I 1345 00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,400 Speaker 2: possibly can. And I can't imagine that I'll get to 1346 00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:47,240 Speaker 2: the end of my life, be one hundred years old 1347 00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:48,480 Speaker 2: and be like I wish I would have spent more 1348 00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:51,160 Speaker 2: time on Instagram. I wish I would spend more time 1349 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:54,960 Speaker 2: watching Netflix, you know, and I've I've been addicted to 1350 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,080 Speaker 2: all of those things. I'm not, you know, above any 1351 00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,200 Speaker 2: of this stuff. But I started looking at my off 1352 01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:01,960 Speaker 2: and saying like, is this helping me get to where 1353 01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,640 Speaker 2: I want to be in life? Is it creating more 1354 01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:05,680 Speaker 2: peace in my life? For me, it was creating way 1355 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,120 Speaker 2: more stress. To was perpetuating these feelings that I'm trying 1356 01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:10,600 Speaker 2: to let go of, trying to work with. And so 1357 01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,480 Speaker 2: for me, I think what's important to people is like, 1358 01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,720 Speaker 2: if you want to make a change, why do you 1359 01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,800 Speaker 2: want to make the change? And for me, looking at 1360 01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:21,479 Speaker 2: a screen is not as important as actually physically being 1361 01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:23,400 Speaker 2: in front of my wife and giving her what she 1362 01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,920 Speaker 2: actually truly deserves. It's just one hundred percent of my 1363 01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,520 Speaker 2: attention because there's been times where I've not given her 1364 01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:31,560 Speaker 2: one hundred percent of my attention. And as we start 1365 01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,880 Speaker 2: to have kids and stuff, I don't want to be 1366 01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:37,320 Speaker 2: a distracted parent. I want to be with them. I'll 1367 01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,320 Speaker 2: never sit there and go, well, when my kids were kids, 1368 01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:41,080 Speaker 2: my kids were children, like I wish I would have 1369 01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:42,880 Speaker 2: spent more time on Instagram. I wlush to spend more 1370 01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:46,600 Speaker 2: time watching Netflix. I just think if for me, like 1371 01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,560 Speaker 2: the level of the place I met in my life is, 1372 01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:52,880 Speaker 2: I want to be as present as possible. Because I've 1373 01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:54,760 Speaker 2: worked for things that I've climbed ladders, I've gotten to 1374 01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,520 Speaker 2: different places. I've realized none of those things fulfilled me 1375 01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:59,600 Speaker 2: any sort of way. And this journey I've been on 1376 01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,760 Speaker 2: in the pasta you know, ten years, seven years ago, 1377 01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,840 Speaker 2: and we started talking about the bag, about Gita, and 1378 01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,560 Speaker 2: I started meditating a whole lot more and getting into is. 1379 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:10,720 Speaker 2: I realized, oh, these things are bringing me peace. And 1380 01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,800 Speaker 2: the more peaceful I feel, the more that it becomes 1381 01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:16,120 Speaker 2: easy to actually achieve and create the stuff that I 1382 01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,840 Speaker 2: want to in life. And so for me, the presence 1383 01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:21,240 Speaker 2: in the piece at this point in my life, things 1384 01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:22,480 Speaker 2: might change. I don't know what it's going to be 1385 01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:24,520 Speaker 2: in five years are actually things that are the most 1386 01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:25,120 Speaker 2: important to me. 1387 01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:26,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so interesting. 1388 01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:29,840 Speaker 1: I think we feel like being anxious and being you know, 1389 01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:32,320 Speaker 1: kind of like busy and stuff will actually create the 1390 01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:33,520 Speaker 1: most effectiveness. 1391 01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:33,760 Speaker 3: Right. 1392 01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:35,880 Speaker 1: But what you just said, this idea of if you 1393 01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:37,800 Speaker 1: start from a place of peace, and I think about that. 1394 01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:40,160 Speaker 1: I completely agree with that. If you walk into something 1395 01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:45,000 Speaker 1: with stillness, it gives you clarity, gives you perspective. You 1396 01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,360 Speaker 1: can zoom out, you can zoom in. If you're buzzing 1397 01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:49,920 Speaker 1: around and moving around, you lose all of that. It's 1398 01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:53,040 Speaker 1: all blurry and fuzzy. And I want to ask you, 1399 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:58,520 Speaker 1: what's what's a lesson you wish you learned earlier in life. 1400 01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:03,800 Speaker 2: I think it's that what you're searching for externally, you're 1401 01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:08,080 Speaker 2: actually searching for yourself. I think that's become very apparent 1402 01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:09,880 Speaker 2: to me in the past few years is I was 1403 01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:13,520 Speaker 2: always looking for somebody to give me love, somebody to 1404 01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:16,280 Speaker 2: give me acceptance to achieve so that I could be accepted. 1405 01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:20,320 Speaker 2: And what I actually truly think is what I was 1406 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,320 Speaker 2: searching for from everyone else is what I was searching 1407 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:24,800 Speaker 2: for for myself. So a lot of people that are 1408 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,600 Speaker 2: like a lot of people I know are people pleasers. 1409 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,560 Speaker 2: They come to me Rob, I'm a people pleaser, and 1410 01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,640 Speaker 2: it's like they'll change themselves to try to get love 1411 01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:36,240 Speaker 2: and acceptance from somebody else. But that's just feeling a 1412 01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,240 Speaker 2: you know, it's like a hungry ghost. It just continue. 1413 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,520 Speaker 2: The food just goes through the ghosts, it doesn't go anywhere. 1414 01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:42,840 Speaker 2: And what we're actually searching for is what we're searching 1415 01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:47,720 Speaker 2: that love and acceptance for our self. And one of 1416 01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,800 Speaker 2: the biggest things that I think I've learned in probably 1417 01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:54,600 Speaker 2: the past two years is I was always trying to 1418 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:58,680 Speaker 2: grow and change myself because there were aspects of myself 1419 01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:02,760 Speaker 2: that I didn't like and I resented. And what I've 1420 01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:05,360 Speaker 2: changed it to in the past couple of years is 1421 01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:08,280 Speaker 2: I'm going to love every aspect of myself. So there's 1422 01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:11,040 Speaker 2: some parts of Rob that are beautiful, that are amazing, 1423 01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:15,400 Speaker 2: that love people, that want to connect. There's some great 1424 01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:17,720 Speaker 2: parts of Rob. There's some parts of Rob also that 1425 01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:21,960 Speaker 2: are very selfish, that are very judgmental, that are a 1426 01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,120 Speaker 2: little bit short, not as present as he should be. 1427 01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,560 Speaker 2: Instead of trying to change those and hate those, I've 1428 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:32,240 Speaker 2: actually just tried to love them and realized that the 1429 01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:35,680 Speaker 2: selfish rob that exists was some sort of thing that 1430 01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:39,720 Speaker 2: was a part of past conditioning that came up from 1431 01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:42,800 Speaker 2: needing to be selfish as a child for whatever it 1432 01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:45,120 Speaker 2: might have been, whatever reasons it might have been, And 1433 01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:46,960 Speaker 2: I can love that side. I mean, what I realized 1434 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:50,920 Speaker 2: is that if I try to change it, it gets stronger. 1435 01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,280 Speaker 2: If I love it and I accept it, it kind 1436 01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:57,480 Speaker 2: of chills out and it doesn't disappear like I'm not like, yeah, 1437 01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:00,960 Speaker 2: these parts me don't exist. It's me looking like Internal 1438 01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:03,720 Speaker 2: family systems is a therapy where you look at all 1439 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,400 Speaker 2: parts of you and who you are, and you try 1440 01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:08,760 Speaker 2: to figure out a way to understand how the entire 1441 01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:11,880 Speaker 2: orchestra works together. You know, when I was writing my book, 1442 01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:16,200 Speaker 2: I was sitting there and I was going so hardcore. 1443 01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:19,040 Speaker 2: Like you and I come from the world of creating 1444 01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:23,080 Speaker 2: viral videos. I would spend so much time on every 1445 01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,720 Speaker 2: single line to make sure it was perfect right, because 1446 01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:28,040 Speaker 2: I wanted to make sure, like I've only got thirty 1447 01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:30,040 Speaker 2: seconds or a minute to get the message to be 1448 01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:31,640 Speaker 2: as clear and concise as possible. Let me try to 1449 01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:33,320 Speaker 2: make as perfect as possible. And I used to do 1450 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:34,520 Speaker 2: a lot of poetry. I used to do a lot 1451 01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:36,120 Speaker 2: of songwriting when I was younger, so I was used 1452 01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:38,360 Speaker 2: to making every line as potent as I could. As 1453 01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:40,680 Speaker 2: I was writing this book, I was like sixteen rounds 1454 01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,160 Speaker 2: of edits in editing every single piece of it. And 1455 01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,560 Speaker 2: there's a part of me that said it said why 1456 01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:47,600 Speaker 2: are you doing this? Like? Why are you doing this? 1457 01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:49,960 Speaker 2: And I was like, I want to write a book 1458 01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:52,280 Speaker 2: that helps people and changes people's lives. I want someone 1459 01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,280 Speaker 2: to not know what the mindset mentor podcasts, but they 1460 01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:56,480 Speaker 2: walk into Barnes and Noble acs book and they're like, interesting, 1461 01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:58,360 Speaker 2: let me read it, let me pick it up, and 1462 01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:00,760 Speaker 2: they read it and it changes their life life. And 1463 01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:03,520 Speaker 2: then I've played Devil's advocate. I said, but you also 1464 01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:06,360 Speaker 2: want it to be successful, don't you. You also want 1465 01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,920 Speaker 2: it to be a New York Times bestseller, so you 1466 01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:10,640 Speaker 2: can have a little badge to put on yourself and say, 1467 01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:13,080 Speaker 2: New York Times bestseller. You want it to be this 1468 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,240 Speaker 2: incredibly selling thing because you know, if it takes off, 1469 01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:17,160 Speaker 2: you're gonna make great money for a very long time 1470 01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:20,320 Speaker 2: if it's a perennial seller. And I thought to myself, Okay, 1471 01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:24,040 Speaker 2: can I use that ego e side of me to 1472 01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:27,040 Speaker 2: actually help me create a better book, and I could. 1473 01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,480 Speaker 2: And so what I realized is instead of hating that aspect, 1474 01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:31,120 Speaker 2: it's like a tool on my tool belt. When I 1475 01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:33,400 Speaker 2: need to bring that side of me out, I can 1476 01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:35,160 Speaker 2: bring out that side of me out and say, you 1477 01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:37,360 Speaker 2: know what, I'm going to create the best freaking book 1478 01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:39,160 Speaker 2: that I can of, the best podcast that I can are, 1479 01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:41,920 Speaker 2: the best real that I can to try to impact people. 1480 01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:45,200 Speaker 2: And so it's not about like trying to force change 1481 01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:48,960 Speaker 2: on myself. It's about loving every aspect of myself the 1482 01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:51,080 Speaker 2: quote unquote good and bad. Eventhough there is no good 1483 01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:54,000 Speaker 2: or bad but every aspect of Rob. And if I 1484 01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:56,960 Speaker 2: need to use it, I can bring it up and say, hey, Rob, 1485 01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:58,840 Speaker 2: I need this version of you right now. But I'm 1486 01:05:58,880 --> 01:05:59,960 Speaker 2: not going to fight it anymore. 1487 01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:01,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. 1488 01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,560 Speaker 1: In the monastery, we'd always talk about how the word 1489 01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:07,720 Speaker 1: is an arthur, which means unwanted. Thing that seems unwanted 1490 01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:11,280 Speaker 1: actually needs to be engaged, Like you need to engage 1491 01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,960 Speaker 1: it in the service of doing something higher really for 1492 01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:16,000 Speaker 1: it to be purified. It's like you can't just cut 1493 01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:17,360 Speaker 1: it out. You can't just get rid of it. You 1494 01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:20,040 Speaker 1: can't just hate it to go away. You can't just 1495 01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:23,400 Speaker 1: shame it away. You can't just guilty away. It has 1496 01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:27,360 Speaker 1: to be engaged in a higher service IY impacting others, 1497 01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,320 Speaker 1: helping others, improving your own life, improving the lives of others. 1498 01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:33,480 Speaker 1: Because when it's engaged, then it becomes purified. Because if 1499 01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,360 Speaker 1: you just ignore it, it would just stay there, and 1500 01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:39,120 Speaker 1: if you try and push it away, it's gonna push 1501 01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:42,600 Speaker 1: back and just get it. But if you engage and go, yeah, 1502 01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,040 Speaker 1: you know what, I do have that in me, but 1503 01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:47,200 Speaker 1: I'm going to use that tendency to try and help 1504 01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:49,880 Speaker 1: this person do this. That's the only way that it 1505 01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:53,120 Speaker 1: starts to be purified. And so that resonates very strongly. 1506 01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:53,600 Speaker 3: Great answer. 1507 01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:55,440 Speaker 1: The other one I wanted to ask you was what's 1508 01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:59,840 Speaker 1: a lesson you have to learn the hard way? 1509 01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:00,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1510 01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:02,200 Speaker 2: I think the one that's been the most potent for 1511 01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:03,640 Speaker 2: a long time is you can't do it all on 1512 01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:08,160 Speaker 2: your own. For me, I don't think I was able 1513 01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:09,720 Speaker 2: to trust people for a very long time. 1514 01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:10,960 Speaker 1: You know. 1515 01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:13,520 Speaker 2: I went to a therapist one time and he had said, yeah, 1516 01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:15,880 Speaker 2: you've been you've been neglected, and I was like, Noah, 1517 01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,959 Speaker 2: I haven't been neglected like I had food, water, sheltered clothing, 1518 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:20,600 Speaker 2: all these things. And he's like, no, you were emotionally 1519 01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:23,680 Speaker 2: neglected from your father, and and I was like, oh 1520 01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,640 Speaker 2: my god, I that really like ringed true. But what 1521 01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:30,640 Speaker 2: happened was I had developed this feeling over my lifetime 1522 01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:33,120 Speaker 2: of I've got to do it alone. I can't trust anybody. 1523 01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:34,600 Speaker 2: No one else can do it for me, you know, 1524 01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:36,920 Speaker 2: Like there were times when my dad would even though 1525 01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:38,600 Speaker 2: it was and he was an amazing person, I always 1526 01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:40,480 Speaker 2: tell people like I was, I'm so grateful that I 1527 01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:44,040 Speaker 2: had the father that I had. He was. He never 1528 01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:46,280 Speaker 2: beat me, he never yelled at me, he never touched 1529 01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:48,440 Speaker 2: me in appropriately. He would just get drunk and fall asleep. 1530 01:07:48,520 --> 01:07:50,480 Speaker 2: And when he fell asleep, he'd forget about me in 1531 01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:52,360 Speaker 2: a lot of different ways. Right, So there was that 1532 01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:54,360 Speaker 2: neglect of like I might he would say, Hey, I'm 1533 01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:55,920 Speaker 2: gonna come pick you up and we're going to go fishing, 1534 01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:58,080 Speaker 2: because I lived in Florida, and I, you know, would 1535 01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:00,120 Speaker 2: sit on the front porch for an hour or two 1536 01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:01,720 Speaker 2: hours in my fishing pole and he would just never 1537 01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:04,560 Speaker 2: show up, right, And so were there were aspects of that, 1538 01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,680 Speaker 2: And I think somewhere along the line, I developed this 1539 01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:10,280 Speaker 2: feeling of like, no one's gonna help me. I have 1540 01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:12,360 Speaker 2: to do it all on my own. Which there's a 1541 01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:14,760 Speaker 2: piece of that which there is some truth, right, like 1542 01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:16,960 Speaker 2: I do have to sometimes step forward and be the 1543 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:20,040 Speaker 2: person to do it. But for the longest time, I 1544 01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:22,760 Speaker 2: never understood the phrase no man is an island because 1545 01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:26,000 Speaker 2: I was like, I have done everything by myself. And 1546 01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:27,840 Speaker 2: then I started looking around me and I was like, no, 1547 01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:30,680 Speaker 2: I haven't. The universe has always been there giving me 1548 01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:32,960 Speaker 2: everything that I need in every person to help me 1549 01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:34,840 Speaker 2: in some sort of way and prove and get better. 1550 01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:38,240 Speaker 2: And you know, as everything's grown, the podcast has grown, 1551 01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:41,000 Speaker 2: my company has grown, all this stuff. We have thirty 1552 01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:43,559 Speaker 2: people on the team. Like I can't do it on 1553 01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:46,479 Speaker 2: my own. I can't help people on my own the 1554 01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:48,680 Speaker 2: way that I wish that I could if i've I'm 1555 01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:51,040 Speaker 2: not thirty people. I don't have thirty days. You know 1556 01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:52,720 Speaker 2: that they can get done and we can get done 1557 01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:54,519 Speaker 2: in one day that I could get done in an 1558 01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:57,519 Speaker 2: entire month. And so what's been big for me is 1559 01:08:57,520 --> 01:09:02,800 Speaker 2: is trusting people to be able to help me and 1560 01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,639 Speaker 2: to be able to ask for help, whether that be 1561 01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:08,479 Speaker 2: in a business, but also like go into my life 1562 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,439 Speaker 2: and be like, hey, I'm really struggling right now. Can 1563 01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:12,400 Speaker 2: you just talk to me for a few minutes, And 1564 01:09:12,760 --> 01:09:16,040 Speaker 2: knowing that she doesn't think like, oh, he's not man enough, 1565 01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:18,080 Speaker 2: which is you know, fear that I had, like oh, 1566 01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:19,760 Speaker 2: if I go to her with my problem, she's gonna 1567 01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:21,720 Speaker 2: be like he's not man enough. But for her to 1568 01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,320 Speaker 2: be like, yeah, let me hold space for you, let's 1569 01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:24,800 Speaker 2: talk it out. And so I think the biggest thing 1570 01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:27,920 Speaker 2: for me is like, is learning that I can't do 1571 01:09:27,960 --> 01:09:30,160 Speaker 2: it all on my own. It's okay to it's actually 1572 01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,800 Speaker 2: strength to ask for help. It's strong to ask for help, 1573 01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:36,519 Speaker 2: and that I need to be better at at asking 1574 01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:37,439 Speaker 2: for help when I do need it. 1575 01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:40,280 Speaker 3: That's a great one. That's a great one I can 1576 01:09:40,439 --> 01:09:41,679 Speaker 3: relate to in so many ways. 1577 01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:44,600 Speaker 1: And yeah, it strikes a chord for sure, and I 1578 01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:47,839 Speaker 1: think so many of us, you know, both of those questions. 1579 01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:48,599 Speaker 3: Think about it. 1580 01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:51,400 Speaker 1: You know what's taken, what's the lesson you learned the 1581 01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:53,960 Speaker 1: hard way? And what's the lesson you wish you learned earlier? Yeah, 1582 01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:58,559 Speaker 1: and write them down because you might forget it. Yeah, 1583 01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:01,000 Speaker 1: and you kind of fold back in that cycle often 1584 01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:03,760 Speaker 1: Rob we end every on purpose episode with. 1585 01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:04,479 Speaker 3: A final five. 1586 01:10:04,720 --> 01:10:06,800 Speaker 1: Okay, these questions have to be answered in one word 1587 01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:08,640 Speaker 1: to one sentence maximum. 1588 01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:10,559 Speaker 2: Oh my god, okay, and so I'm so wordy. 1589 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:13,800 Speaker 1: That's that's I'll do my best, Rob DIZI your final five. 1590 01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:16,360 Speaker 1: The first question is what is the best advice you've 1591 01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:17,439 Speaker 1: ever heard or received. 1592 01:10:17,920 --> 01:10:20,360 Speaker 2: I'll give you the I'll give you the sentence and 1593 01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:21,800 Speaker 2: if you want me to explain it, I can. But 1594 01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:23,040 Speaker 2: everything is your fault. 1595 01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:24,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can explain it. 1596 01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:26,640 Speaker 2: Everything is your fault comes back to like you or 1597 01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:29,400 Speaker 2: the CEO of your life. My very first mentor that 1598 01:10:29,439 --> 01:10:31,519 Speaker 2: I had. I paid five hundred dollars a month to 1599 01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:33,840 Speaker 2: have my first coach when I was nineteen, about to 1600 01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:36,600 Speaker 2: turn twenty, and we worked together for two years and 1601 01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:38,599 Speaker 2: we had some great calls. I don't remember any of them. 1602 01:10:38,640 --> 01:10:41,599 Speaker 2: I remember one and what it was was I had 1603 01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:43,960 Speaker 2: made so many excuses as too while I was late 1604 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:45,600 Speaker 2: to calls why I didn't hit my assignment, so I 1605 01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:47,400 Speaker 2: didn't do what I needed to do. And he had 1606 01:10:47,439 --> 01:10:50,360 Speaker 2: this really tough conversation. I mean, he said, Rob, if 1607 01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:53,479 Speaker 2: a business succeeds, whose fault is it? And I was like, 1608 01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:55,040 Speaker 2: I mean, what do you mean. He's like, if a 1609 01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:58,639 Speaker 2: business succeeds, all one thousand employees move into the direction 1610 01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,000 Speaker 2: they have a successful year, who's faults it that the 1611 01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:03,240 Speaker 2: person who orchestra it. I was like the CEO. He said, 1612 01:11:03,280 --> 01:11:05,839 Speaker 2: if a business fails, whose faults it? And it's the CEO. 1613 01:11:06,360 --> 01:11:07,800 Speaker 2: He said, Rob, if you get to the end of 1614 01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:09,800 Speaker 2: your life and it's not what you wanted it to be, 1615 01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:11,800 Speaker 2: and you didn't create the life that you wanted to 1616 01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,720 Speaker 2: make the money she wanted to have, the success, the love, 1617 01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:16,120 Speaker 2: the happiness, travel the places that you wanted to, whose 1618 01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:18,040 Speaker 2: fault would it be? And I said it'd be my fault. 1619 01:11:18,080 --> 01:11:19,640 Speaker 2: And he said, if you did create the life that 1620 01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:21,679 Speaker 2: you wanted to you had to love, the happiness, the abundance, 1621 01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:24,200 Speaker 2: everything that you wanted, whose fault would that be? And 1622 01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:26,280 Speaker 2: I said it would be my fault. And he said 1623 01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:28,519 Speaker 2: the problem with you is you're treating this treating this 1624 01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:30,800 Speaker 2: life as you if you're the victim. And what you 1625 01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,800 Speaker 2: need to realize that everything that happens to you is 1626 01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:35,320 Speaker 2: your fault and that your life won't change until you 1627 01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:37,240 Speaker 2: decide that you want to be the CEO of your life. 1628 01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,280 Speaker 1: I do know how that would have felt when you 1629 01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:42,679 Speaker 1: heard it at that point hurt. Yeah, exactly with that mindset, 1630 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:45,320 Speaker 1: and I think a lot of people today would find 1631 01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:47,920 Speaker 1: that offensive. They might get hurt by it. They might 1632 01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:53,320 Speaker 1: what how did you transfer that energy to be like, no, 1633 01:11:53,439 --> 01:11:55,479 Speaker 1: this is actually helpful, it's not hurtful. 1634 01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:58,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I was a little bit hurt, but 1635 01:11:58,479 --> 01:12:02,720 Speaker 2: there's I felt truth. I felt like, yeah, he's right, 1636 01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:05,320 Speaker 2: because when I look at the path of where my 1637 01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:08,120 Speaker 2: life was going to go, had I continued to blame 1638 01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:11,400 Speaker 2: everybody else, it wasn't going to be good. But when 1639 01:12:11,439 --> 01:12:14,120 Speaker 2: I looked at people who I knew who took full 1640 01:12:14,120 --> 01:12:17,759 Speaker 2: ownership of their life. One of my probably my first 1641 01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,200 Speaker 2: mentor without even being on purpose, was my uncle Dan, 1642 01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:25,959 Speaker 2: who was an incredibly successful guy, had a bunch of success, 1643 01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,120 Speaker 2: but also is incredibly giving, always so loving, and he 1644 01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:33,240 Speaker 2: never blamed anybody else. For when his business failed and 1645 01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:35,880 Speaker 2: he brought it back from nothing and rebuilt it, he 1646 01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,320 Speaker 2: never blamed anybody else. He was always there for everyone else, 1647 01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:44,519 Speaker 2: but he always took everything as his responsibility. And you know, 1648 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,120 Speaker 2: it's like, not everything that's happened to you in your 1649 01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:49,160 Speaker 2: life is your fault, but whatever it is that you 1650 01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:51,360 Speaker 2: have it is your responsibility to work through. Will Smith 1651 01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:53,880 Speaker 2: also said this right where it's like, it's not my 1652 01:12:54,040 --> 01:12:56,080 Speaker 2: fault that my father was an alcoholic, but it's my 1653 01:12:56,160 --> 01:12:59,160 Speaker 2: responsibility to do with what do with it because it's 1654 01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:01,000 Speaker 2: the reality that I have and I have to work 1655 01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:02,519 Speaker 2: through those things. And so for me it was like 1656 01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:05,040 Speaker 2: it rang really true where I was. I was like, Okay, 1657 01:13:05,479 --> 01:13:07,719 Speaker 2: it's right, and if my life is going to change, 1658 01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:09,400 Speaker 2: I have to be the person to change it. And 1659 01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:13,000 Speaker 2: that's when it clicked for me. That conversation, I could say, 1660 01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:17,439 Speaker 2: is absolutely on the one conversation that changed my life completely. 1661 01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:18,719 Speaker 3: Powerful. 1662 01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:22,240 Speaker 1: Second question, what is the worst advice you ever had 1663 01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:22,799 Speaker 1: or received? 1664 01:13:23,200 --> 01:13:24,400 Speaker 2: Fit in with everybody else? 1665 01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:29,679 Speaker 3: Good? Question number three? What is your most repeated though. 1666 01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:35,960 Speaker 2: As of recently is I'm proud of you. I try 1667 01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:38,160 Speaker 2: to tell myself that every single day. My mom told 1668 01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:39,320 Speaker 2: me that a lot as a kid. I'm trying to 1669 01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:40,200 Speaker 2: repeat it to myself. 1670 01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:42,559 Speaker 3: I love that. That's a great one. 1671 01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:48,080 Speaker 1: Question number four the number one habit that changes your life, 1672 01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:50,639 Speaker 1: like a daily habit, like something that you. 1673 01:13:50,680 --> 01:13:57,799 Speaker 2: Practice, meditation and breathwork, finding space for myself? 1674 01:13:58,960 --> 01:13:59,320 Speaker 3: Love it. 1675 01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:03,479 Speaker 1: Final question if you could create one law that everyone 1676 01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,759 Speaker 1: in the world had to follow. 1677 01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:06,880 Speaker 3: What would it be take you. 1678 01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:12,160 Speaker 2: There one law that everybody in the world has to follow, 1679 01:14:12,760 --> 01:14:18,600 Speaker 2: to take five minutes every single day to practice self awareness. 1680 01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:22,120 Speaker 2: I think that every problem in this world could be 1681 01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:24,880 Speaker 2: solved if people were more self aware. I think that 1682 01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:28,120 Speaker 2: all of our problems come from lack of self awareness. 1683 01:14:28,560 --> 01:14:32,320 Speaker 2: And if people were more aware of our actions. You know, 1684 01:14:32,360 --> 01:14:34,519 Speaker 2: if politicians are more aware of their actions and how 1685 01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:38,360 Speaker 2: it's affecting the entire world. And if parents were aware 1686 01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:41,479 Speaker 2: of how their actions are affecting their children and as 1687 01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:43,760 Speaker 2: you know, a son, if I'm aware of how my 1688 01:14:43,880 --> 01:14:49,080 Speaker 2: actions are affecting my mom, my sister, my wife, everybody 1689 01:14:49,120 --> 01:14:51,559 Speaker 2: around me. If we could take five minutes to practice 1690 01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:53,720 Speaker 2: being more self aware, I think that the entire world 1691 01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:54,360 Speaker 2: would be better. 1692 01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:57,759 Speaker 1: I love that Rob Doll everyone. The book is called 1693 01:14:57,840 --> 01:15:01,840 Speaker 1: Level Up How to Get focused, procrastinating and Upgrade your Life. 1694 01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:04,040 Speaker 1: If you don't have a copy, go and grab it already. 1695 01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:06,840 Speaker 1: You'll be able to see my testimonial on the back 1696 01:15:06,960 --> 01:15:09,040 Speaker 1: if you're at the top of the back there. Make 1697 01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:11,320 Speaker 1: sure you go and grab a copy and tag me 1698 01:15:11,400 --> 01:15:15,080 Speaker 1: and Rob on Instagram, on x on TikTok with what 1699 01:15:15,160 --> 01:15:17,759 Speaker 1: resonated with you, what connected with you. I love seeing 1700 01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:20,280 Speaker 1: and I want Rob to see as well, what you're practicing, 1701 01:15:20,360 --> 01:15:22,880 Speaker 1: what you're trying to put into action in your life. 1702 01:15:23,080 --> 01:15:24,519 Speaker 1: And I can't wait for you to level up. 1703 01:15:24,600 --> 01:15:24,800 Speaker 3: Rob. 1704 01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:27,280 Speaker 1: Thank you again, Thank you man for coming on and 1705 01:15:27,320 --> 01:15:29,439 Speaker 1: opening your heart and being so vulnerable and at the 1706 01:15:29,479 --> 01:15:32,519 Speaker 1: same time giving so many practical insights of how people 1707 01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:34,599 Speaker 1: can move from where they are to where they really 1708 01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,599 Speaker 1: want to be and even deeper. 1709 01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:38,160 Speaker 3: So thank you so much. I appreciate it. 1710 01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,360 Speaker 2: Well. Thank thank you Jay, like I've known you for 1711 01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:43,840 Speaker 2: seven years now and your inspiration for like doing good 1712 01:15:43,960 --> 01:15:47,639 Speaker 2: in the world, and I can see that the actions 1713 01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:48,960 Speaker 2: that you take are from your heart and from a 1714 01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:50,840 Speaker 2: place of purpose, and it's inspiring from you to always 1715 01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:51,200 Speaker 2: see that. 1716 01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:53,519 Speaker 3: Thank you, man. I appreciate you, of course. Thank you. 1717 01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:56,640 Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with 1718 01:15:56,880 --> 01:16:01,040 Speaker 1: Dr Gabor Matte on understanding your trauma and how to 1719 01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:04,759 Speaker 1: heal emotional wounds to start moving on from the past. 1720 01:16:05,120 --> 01:16:07,920 Speaker 3: Everything in nature grows only where it's vulnerable. So a 1721 01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:10,240 Speaker 3: tree doesn't grow where it's hard and thick, does it. 1722 01:16:10,240 --> 01:16:12,600 Speaker 3: It goes where it's soft and green and vulnerable.