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Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello, everybody, we're scrubbing in.

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Speaker 3: That we are and it is a great Monday already

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Speaker 3: because I have given Becca a long, lengthy hug, I

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Speaker 3: am sitting very close to her, and she has not

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Speaker 3: complained about my smell, so we are in the clear.

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing I realize over the weekend. I don't

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Speaker 2: smell you. However, I realize that I can't smell other

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Speaker 2: things that I should be able to smell. So please

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Speaker 2: don't use me as your example.

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Speaker 4: It's not a good barometer.

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Speaker 5: I'm yeah, because I maybe this is the answer.

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Speaker 6: Ton You just hang out with people recovering from COVID

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Speaker 6: for the rest of the time here, and then you'll

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Speaker 6: be fine.

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Speaker 7: Exactly.

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Speaker 2: It's really hard because I don't know, like there's a

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Speaker 2: part of me that has to accept that this might

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Speaker 2: be the extent of my smell range, which is hard,

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Speaker 2: you know, because I've always loved like smelling is such

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Speaker 2: a powerful sense.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, do you know any candles?

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Speaker 3: I have a pumpkin candle burning and a pine tree

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Speaker 3: cattle burning in my house right now.

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Speaker 7: I don't smell any of that, So that's not good.

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Speaker 2: I think my nasal passages are still inflamed from COVID

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Speaker 2: and I'm dealing with it.

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Speaker 7: But I don't smell you, so that's great.

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 3: And you know what, I do have to say thank

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Speaker 3: you to all the scrub sisters that hit me up,

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Speaker 3: because I have never been bombarded with this many DMS

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Speaker 3: in a very long time about something very specific.

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Speaker 4: And it was a.

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Speaker 3: Lot of people that are also detoxing their armpits. And

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Speaker 3: I got like clay mask links and the people sent

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Speaker 3: me to different stories of like this apple cider vinegar

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Speaker 3: concoction that you can use.

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Speaker 4: So I just want to say thank you everybody.

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Speaker 3: I feel a community around me, really, and I feel

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Speaker 3: motivated in this charge of detox.

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Speaker 2: I bet if you typed in hashtag deodorant and detox

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Speaker 2: on TikTok would find so many resources.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, but now I'm at the point where

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know which one to choose right now.

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Speaker 3: I'm just going to the natural path of just songs

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Speaker 3: at all. But I do think I want to try

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Speaker 3: like the clay mask or something.

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Speaker 7: What does that do detox is?

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Speaker 4: And I'm like a mask for your face.

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Speaker 2: Yes, interesting, you should do one of those, like those

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Speaker 2: black clay mask or whatever.

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Speaker 7: It looks like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think when you peel it off, it's

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Speaker 2: gonna feel like a wax.

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Speaker 4: Well, no, I don't have hair down there, still shave.

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Speaker 7: When you pull your like it'll tug on the pores

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Speaker 7: or something. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Anyways, I don't smell you. Congrats to me, and congrats

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Speaker 2: to you on that. How was your Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 3: It was so great. I feel like I'm still recovering.

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Speaker 3: It was a long weekend of activities, but like it's

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Speaker 3: so fun. Like when I tell you, I couldn't sound smiling.

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Speaker 3: I was on cloud nine the entire day, and then

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Speaker 3: when people started leaving.

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Speaker 4: I got so sad. Oh my gosh, I know, Oh,

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Speaker 4: let's not have the party be done. I was like,

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Speaker 4: come on, shots, shots to try to turn it into

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Speaker 4: like a party, try to invite some of my friends over.

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Speaker 7: Yes, that's the most.

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Speaker 4: It didn't work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody left ended up leaving around like six o'clock.

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Speaker 4: So my plan didn't work. But it was so much fun.

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Speaker 7: I'm so happy to hear that all hosted.

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Speaker 3: We hosted, and it was like thirty people. I did

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Speaker 3: it outside in his backyard, and it was a lot

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Speaker 3: of his family was in town from New York, so

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Speaker 3: it was the majority of them, and then my parents

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Speaker 3: came as well, and so it was just fun to

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Speaker 3: kind of have everybody in this space together like laughing

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Speaker 3: and joking and drinking, and there was so much food

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Speaker 3: and it was just the best time ever.

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Speaker 2: Was that the first time the parents met. Yeah, were

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Speaker 2: you like that would make me? I would be nervous

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Speaker 2: about that.

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Speaker 3: I was nervous that morning. I started getting like nervous butterflies.

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Speaker 3: But once I got my parents like in, I was

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Speaker 3: totally fine after that, and then I started drinking and

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Speaker 3: then it's just like fun.

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Speaker 2: When you're in laws meet or you're anyone, like you're

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Speaker 2: sibling in laws, it's such a I don't know, it's

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Speaker 2: almost like bringing different friend groups together, like you know,

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Speaker 2: like when you bring different friends from different parts of

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Speaker 2: your life and you're like worried if they're gonna get along,

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Speaker 2: But it's totally fine. And I don't know why we

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Speaker 2: make such a big deal about it in our heads,

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Speaker 2: but I guess it could go wrong, but not with

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Speaker 2: your families.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's like, what could go wrong?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think it's just people. I mean

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Speaker 2: I always take on the responsibility of everyone having a

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Speaker 2: good time, which I realize is not my responsibility, and

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Speaker 2: like if someone acts a certain way or gets too

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Speaker 2: drunk or does something that I'm like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. And then one of my friends one

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Speaker 2: time was like, that's not your responsibility, and it was like.

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Speaker 7: This eye opening moment of me being like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 7: why do I do that?

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Speaker 2: I take on everyone's actions as my own, Like I

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Speaker 2: feel like because I invited them or they're my friend,

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Speaker 2: that like how they behave as on me, which they're like,

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Speaker 2: we're all adults.

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Speaker 7: So I don't know why I do that.

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Speaker 3: I know, And like, honestly, Red Star is just like

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Speaker 3: cool as a cucumber, like when it just comes to

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Speaker 3: things like this everything, but I was starting to get

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Speaker 3: kind of like nervous, anxious, like do we have enough food?

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Speaker 4: Do we have not this? And he was just like so.

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Speaker 3: Cool the whole planning process, and it really went off

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Speaker 3: without a hitch, Like it really was really great. And

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Speaker 3: so it's very nice to have a partner that is calm,

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Speaker 3: because I'm the opposite of calm. I'm like very high strong,

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Speaker 3: So that was nice to kind of see that happen.

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Speaker 2: You know what, I'm realizing about myself, which this is

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Speaker 2: something we've all known.

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Speaker 7: I you know how I always run late to everything?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's something deeper here because.

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Speaker 4: I here we go, here we go.

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Speaker 7: This is like you talking about your childhood trauma for

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Speaker 7: everything you know.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but this is actually I'm serious about this because

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Speaker 2: I decided I don't.

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Speaker 7: Want to be late to things anymore.

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Speaker 2: Ever, I think it's something about committing to time and plans.

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Speaker 2: If it's like on me, like if it's my decision

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Speaker 2: to be like this is when we're gonna do this,

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Speaker 2: and then it's my decision to get ready on time.

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Speaker 2: I have a really hard time committing to a time

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Speaker 2: or plan. And I don't know what where that comes

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Speaker 2: from or why I am like that, I think, but

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Speaker 2: I attribute that also to my always being late.

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Speaker 3: That made no sense, like zero, I don't know anybody

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Speaker 3: else I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: I'm saying if I'm okay, if someone else has a

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Speaker 2: set time, like hey, this is when this party started,

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Speaker 2: this is when the dinner's happening, and I'm on someone

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Speaker 2: else's time and I'm late. That's just me, like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know if it's something about I feel like I

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Speaker 2: need I don't like to be the first one to

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Speaker 2: show up, so then I overshoot it and I'm late.

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Speaker 2: So it's just like rude and disrespectful at that point point.

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Speaker 2: But I think my other issue is that if it's

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Speaker 2: on me, like hey, Becka, what time are we doing this?

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Speaker 2: My natural reactions is to be like, just like whenever,

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Speaker 2: you know, like I have a weird thing about setting

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Speaker 2: a time that's interesting.

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Speaker 5: So now you know you are getting into something.

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Speaker 6: Now you're getting into kind of the deep the origins

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Speaker 6: of this chronic laten.

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Speaker 3: It just makes no sense. It's like when when do

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Speaker 3: you want to have a dinner reservation?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 4: Just whenever?

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Speaker 7: Around seven feels safer to me than being like seven.

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Speaker 4: You have a reservation, you have to be there at seven.

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Speaker 7: Well, no, there's fifteen minute grace period at most places.

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Speaker 3: So wait, So for Thanksgiving? What did you do and

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Speaker 3: what time was your Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 7: Well Thanksgiving dinner was at four thirty? What time did

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Speaker 7: you show up? I was there at two, like.

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Speaker 2: We went early, So I was like, and that's what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying, like, at certain things, I'm I can be

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Speaker 2: I'm capable of being on time.

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Speaker 4: If it's a social is capable time?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so some most of us are. But like

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Speaker 2: if I was going to a dinner and I was

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Speaker 2: by myself, Like let's say I'm by myself, I'm showing

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Speaker 2: up to dinner and I'm walking in by myself, I

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Speaker 2: get really anxious about the entry by myself.

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is total bullsh because we we have the

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Speaker 3: podcast every day every week at the same time, and

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Speaker 3: you're late to it every single week.

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Speaker 4: That's not a social thing.

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Speaker 7: I'm not late every single week.

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Speaker 4: Nine out of ten times.

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Speaker 2: I'm not late every single week. Nine Today I was well,

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Speaker 2: I was here, I was here on time. I just

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Speaker 2: had to eat a snack, and he.

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Speaker 4: Was here at noon. No, I was here. You're supposed

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Speaker 4: to start, bitess.

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Speaker 2: I literally had a crazy morning. I really did have

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Speaker 2: a crazy morning. I got here on time, but then

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Speaker 2: I was hungry and Tanya's house is not easily accessible

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Speaker 2: to find snacks.

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Speaker 7: So I had to scour see what I could find.

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Speaker 4: And I'm surprised you found those crackers, Like, I don't know.

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Speaker 7: I did spot the crackers. They got the job done.

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Speaker 2: But anyways, what I'm trying to say, I think I

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Speaker 2: have some setback that I need to figure out with

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Speaker 2: my hairpiss.

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Speaker 6: Well, you were all you rebel against structure and schedule,

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Speaker 6: and I'd be curious to what it was in your

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Speaker 6: childhood that may know.

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Speaker 4: But Becca's the opposite.

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Speaker 3: You do not rebel against structure and like in real life,

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Speaker 3: like I feel like you like to people please, You

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Speaker 3: like structure, you like rules, you like to abide by.

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Speaker 2: No, but he's right, I rebel against having plans and

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Speaker 2: a set time. It makes me feel noncommittal, makes me feel.

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Speaker 7: Trapped or something.

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Speaker 5: Mm hmmm mm hmm.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, this is a thing. Just because you don't relate

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Speaker 7: doesn't mean it's not a thing.

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Speaker 4: No, I really don't.

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Speaker 3: And you know Patty from the Morning Show has the

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Speaker 3: same like.

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Speaker 4: Issue.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and she tries to explain it to me as well.

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Speaker 3: And I don't understand.

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Speaker 2: No, only people who And then I see these tiktoks

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Speaker 2: and they're like, it's just disrespectful, Like when you're late,

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Speaker 2: you're just being a totally rude You're a person who

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Speaker 2: doesn't care about anyone else.

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Speaker 7: And I'm like Okay, that's.

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Speaker 2: Not how like when I'm late, I'm pretty stressed about

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Speaker 2: being late, but yet I'm chronically late. But I'm not

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Speaker 2: like chilling, like I'm not walking in, not feeling the

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Speaker 2: pressure of being late.

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Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: I want to unnecessary stress, right.

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Speaker 3: Like It's like when we were flying to Vegas and

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Speaker 3: we're all there at our gate checking in and walking

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Speaker 3: on the plane and these two were like running at

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Speaker 3: the speed of sound trying to catch the plane, sweating

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Speaker 3: buckets by the time they get to us because they

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Speaker 3: were so stressed.

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Speaker 4: I was like, what is the point of that?

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Speaker 2: Actually that day I was I was on time, waiting

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Speaker 2: for Haley, So thank you.

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Speaker 6: I see some of this, and my daughter though, like

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Speaker 6: it'll be a weekend day and I'm like, okay, how

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Speaker 6: about this, and noon will do this and A two

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Speaker 6: will do this, And You're like.

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Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, no, no no no no. I want nothing.

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Speaker 5: I don't want any man, I don't want to have

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Speaker 5: any kind of structure. I just want to let it happen.

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Speaker 2: Mark, This is exactly how I feel that you even

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Speaker 2: saying that on a Saturday too, Like having planned out

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Speaker 2: things makes me literally I started a panic for your

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Speaker 2: daughter just then.

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Speaker 5: And I'm the opposite.

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Speaker 6: When I have a wide open Saturday with nothing to do,

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Speaker 6: I immediately start locking in. I can do this and the

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Speaker 6: this and the this and the me too, me too,

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Speaker 6: all the stuff I can get done today.

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Speaker 4: Me too, me too. I did the exacts.

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Speaker 3: I had like a four hours off this weekend, like

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Speaker 3: without plans, and you know what I did. Popped right

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Speaker 3: out of bed and cleaned out all my clothes, put

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Speaker 3: him in trash bags, brought him to my parents' house.

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Speaker 2: Well, as we have realized, and Easton hasn't timed him much.

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Speaker 2: I think he stands more on your side of things.

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Speaker 2: But there are two types of people in the.

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Speaker 4: World, It's true, and say either one is right.

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Speaker 7: Was that right, Euston?

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Speaker 8: I'm with you, Becca. I mean I get very when

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Speaker 8: there are plans. I feel very trapped. I don't like it,

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Speaker 8: like especially like when we went to Nashville for Ben's wedding,

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Speaker 8: and you know, I have friends in Nashville and there's

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Speaker 8: people I wanted to see, and like every time they

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Speaker 8: were like, so what are you doing? What do you

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Speaker 8: do on Saturday? Let's make some plans. I was like,

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Speaker 8: we're just playing by ear.

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Speaker 7: I don't know, you know, like.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, on vacation, it's different.

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Speaker 8: Well, I mean yeah, and I do live my my

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Speaker 8: Daly life like this, especially like my Monday through Friday

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Speaker 8: is so red himned. I. I have a lot of

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Speaker 8: work I have to do during the week, so on

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Speaker 8: the weekends, I like to play that thing as loose

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Speaker 8: as I possibly can, Like, if something comes to mind,

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Speaker 8: we can do it, and if not, I don't know.

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Speaker 8: I love having a week have no plans and just

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Speaker 8: doing whatever I want.

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Speaker 2: Or like if someone's coming in town and they're like

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Speaker 2: way in advance, like it's a month in advance, and

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Speaker 2: they're like, hey, I'm gonna be here, can we make

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Speaker 2: a reservation for Friday night at six, I'm like, that

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Speaker 2: is so far away. What if I'm not feeling social

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Speaker 2: that night, you know, like you just don't know.

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Speaker 8: I'm with you one hundred percent.

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Speaker 7: Wow, that makes me feel better.

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Speaker 4: I'm not either.

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Speaker 3: Actually, speaking of Nashville though, which is very funny. The

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Speaker 3: guy that I used to date that I told your

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Speaker 3: red Star on him, I hit it off.

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Speaker 5: Whatever.

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Speaker 4: He now he wants to hang out with us out here.

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Speaker 4: He like texted me the other day. So now the

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Speaker 4: three of us are gonna go to dinner. I'm just like,

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Speaker 4: this is just too much.

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Speaker 7: Let's find him. Ut, do you have single friends, Let's

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Speaker 7: find oh?

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Speaker 3: I know it's playing matchmaker is a lot harder than

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Speaker 3: one thing. So I actually to apologize to everybody in

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Speaker 3: my life that I put pressure on to be a

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Speaker 3: matchmaker for me when I was single, because it really

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Speaker 3: is a tough spot to be in because you want

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Speaker 3: both people to be happy about it and excited about it.

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Speaker 3: And if one is like, well why do you want

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Speaker 3: seth up with this person? It's like, well, shoot, you know, yeah,

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Speaker 3: but it's like I know, I know, I know, really

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Speaker 3: me overthinking.

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Speaker 7: Yeah. So last week we did our interview.

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Speaker 2: Our guest today is Daya from Sex, Love and Goop,

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Speaker 2: and we talked to her last week and I had

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Speaker 2: only watched the first episode and I have since watched

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Speaker 2: more of the episode. Yeah, but I am so excited

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Speaker 2: for y'all to listen to this interview, especially if you're

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Speaker 2: someone who has like shame or insecurities around sex and

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Speaker 2: being sexual, and your sexual relationship with your partner is such.

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Speaker 3: Or your sexual relationship with yourself just a Jeni writers

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Speaker 3: out and.

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Speaker 7: Well, listen to the episode and then.

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Speaker 4: Also wait before we get into the interview.

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Speaker 3: I do want to say we talked about the Jonahs

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Speaker 3: Brothers roast and how I got in bited, and then

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Speaker 3: I said no because it was your birthday party.

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Speaker 4: I have watched it and it is the funniest freaking

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Speaker 4: thing I have ever seen.

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Speaker 3: It is so freaking funny. I kept watching it and

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Speaker 3: looking at the people the audience and thinking that could

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Speaker 3: have been me, That could have been me. But I

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Speaker 3: was at Becca's party, was at Beca's party. Dress is

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Speaker 3: Courtney dresses card I have hard So it really opened

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Speaker 3: up that wound again watching the roast. But if anybody

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Speaker 3: hasn't seen it, it is a highly recommended Netflix special.

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Speaker 2: I would also like to say a lot of the

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Speaker 2: comments on the Instagram posts were like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: sorry Becca, like I totally would have chosen the Jonahs Brothers, which,

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Speaker 2: like I said, I would not, I'm would not have

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Speaker 2: been mad about it, but also like are y'all do

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Speaker 2: y'all have good friends? Like do you have any good

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Speaker 2: friends in your life? Because like it's like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I thought people were gonna be like for sure. I'd

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Speaker 2: go to my best friend's birthday and almost all of

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Speaker 2: them were like sorry back in the Jonas Brothers and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, damn.

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Speaker 4: It was an intimate crowd.

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Speaker 3: It was an intimate crew, and just it felt like

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Speaker 3: they were all laughing together as one and.

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Speaker 7: Maybe next time when they do it was really heartbreaking.

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Speaker 4: It really opened up that wound again.

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Speaker 2: Well once again, my condolences and thank you for showing

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Speaker 2: up to my party. All right, so we are going

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Speaker 2: to unless you listen to our interview with Jaya. She's

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Speaker 2: awesome and I hope you enjoy it.

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Speaker 7: All right, you.

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Speaker 2: Guys, So this is a moment really. Tanya has been

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Speaker 2: waiting for for weeks now, and I have recently watched

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Speaker 2: Sex Love.

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Speaker 7: And Goop, but we have Aya here, who you came

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Speaker 7: up with.

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Speaker 2: Developed wrote about the Erotic Blueprint and please welcome Giant

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Speaker 2: to the Scrubbing NR. So I was Tanya has been

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Speaker 2: talking about Sex Loving, Goop and the Erotic Blueprint. She

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Speaker 2: has been really trying to convince me to watch it.

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Speaker 2: And it wasn't that I didn't want to. Tanya always

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Speaker 2: gets really excited about things, so I never know, like

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Speaker 2: what I'm actually going to like personally, and so I

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Speaker 2: watched it over the weekend and you're just the coolest.

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Speaker 2: So Tania's excitement for you and the show really lived

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Speaker 2: up to all the expectations.

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Speaker 1: I love hearing that.

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Speaker 3: Well, I want to start out because so actually a

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Speaker 3: scrubber suggested the show to me because I think that

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Speaker 3: because she was like, I really want to hear your

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Speaker 3: opinion about it, because I think that the show covers

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Speaker 3: a lot of stuff that's really taboo for people to

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Speaker 3: talk about openly, Like people don't even some people don't

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Speaker 3: even share with their best friends about the woes of

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Speaker 3: their intimate live, their sex lives, and so for people

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Speaker 3: to do it on a TV show on camera is

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Speaker 3: so wild to me. But I so, I'm like obsessed

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Speaker 3: with the five love languages and speaking the love language

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Speaker 3: to your partner that they receive, but I had to

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Speaker 3: know that there was a whole separate love language that's

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Speaker 3: called the sexual Blueprints. So for everybody listening, can you

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Speaker 3: explain what those five five are? And just kind of yeah,

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Speaker 3: maybe like a PG version.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So the five erotic Blueprints are like a language,

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Speaker 1: like similar to the love languages, they kind of show

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Speaker 1: us who we are and what it is that turns

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Speaker 1: us on in the bedroom, and then also where our

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Speaker 1: shadow parts are. And so the five are. The first

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Speaker 1: one's energetic, and it's somebody who's turned on by anticipation, space, teas, longing,

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Speaker 1: So think about like the moment before you kiss somebody.

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Speaker 1: It's the turn on is all in that. And then

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Speaker 1: there's the sensual, and the sensual someone who's trying on

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Speaker 1: by all of their senses ignited, so think tastes, smell, closeness,

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Speaker 1: whereas the energetical love space, the sensual collapses space, so

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00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,679
Speaker 1: they want body to body, skin to skin. And then

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Speaker 1: the sexual, and the sexual is someone who is turned

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Speaker 1: on by what we think of a sex in our culture.

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Speaker 1: So it's our kind of standard narrative of what sex is, intercourse, nudity, orgasms,

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Speaker 1: of those kinds of things. And then kinki is what's

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Speaker 1: taboo for you, So what feels taboo and that's the

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Speaker 1: important definition of it. I think people think one thing

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Speaker 1: about kink, but really in this in the blueprint model,

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Speaker 1: it's oh, that feels like an edge, that feels like

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Speaker 1: it's something I shouldn't be doing. And there are two

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Speaker 1: types of kinky. There's the psychological kinky, and then there's

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Speaker 1: a more sensation based kinky. So psychological kinky might like

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Speaker 1: power play or power dynamics or surrendering or being in power.

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Speaker 1: And a sensation based might like a sensation that feels extreme,

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Speaker 1: like intense sensation or impact. And then the final one

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Speaker 1: is the shape shift or in the shape shifter or

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Speaker 1: someone who's turned on by all of it, so they like,

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Speaker 1: that's me, shape shifter. Yeah, did you take the quiz?

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Speaker 4: Shir died?

422
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 1: Did you play the games at home like we do

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00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,400
Speaker 1: in the show Shirted?

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Speaker 7: I tried.

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Speaker 3: I love you, But you know, I think it's so

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Speaker 3: important because I feel like I don't want to like stereotype,

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Speaker 3: but I feel like mostly, you know, you hear all

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Speaker 3: these stats about how whatever, seventy percent of women fake

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Speaker 3: their orgasms because I think they're afraid to speak up

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Speaker 3: about the things that they actually want.

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Speaker 4: Is that part of the reason you think?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean so, there's a number of reasons why

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Speaker 1: people fake or don't speak up. One is we don't

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Speaker 1: want to hurt our partner's feelings or their ego, or

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Speaker 1: you know, our partner has reacted badly in the past. Sometimes,

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Speaker 1: like I tell them something, and then they go into

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Speaker 1: their own stuff and I don't get my needs met.

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Speaker 1: So that's one thing is either we've given up or

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Speaker 1: we don't want to hurt our partner, or in the moment,

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Speaker 1: we don't want to like, oh we're having such a

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Speaker 1: nice sinner. Oh we're having such a nice time together.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to say anything to ruin the moment,

443
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,159
Speaker 1: and so then we sort of suffer through and then

444
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 1: don't say anything, and then it comes up again and

445
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 1: we're in the moment again and don't want to say anything.

446
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 1: And so there's there's a number of reasons why we

447
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 1: don't speak up. And sometimes it's also because I don't know,

448
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,920
Speaker 1: Like I'm trying to figure it out, Like I don't

449
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 1: know about you, but me in the moment. Sometimes I'm like, Okay,

450
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:17,919
Speaker 1: wait a minute, do I like that? Do I not

451
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: like that? Like I don't know if I like better.

452
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say that would help make

453
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 1: that better. Like I don't know if it's lighter or

454
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 1: slower or faster or something completely different.

455
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: I feel I grew up in a very like conservative

456
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:35,719
Speaker 2: Christian home, and there was so much I guess, guilt

457
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 2: and shame around sex and intimacy, and so I feel

458
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 2: like a lot of people, and I know we've had

459
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 2: a lot of our listeners write in who have either

460
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,919
Speaker 2: waited for marriage or they've only had one partner and

461
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,919
Speaker 2: then they got married and the sex wasn't good and

462
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 2: they were like, oh my gosh, like, how.

463
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 7: Do I fix this?

464
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 2: Because I waited all this time and we finally have

465
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 2: had sex and it was really awkward. And I wonder

466
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:01,439
Speaker 2: if you have any advice for how do people feel

467
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,920
Speaker 2: comfortable and connected to themselves in order to even feel confident,

468
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 2: like figuring out their sexual style or how they want

469
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 2: to be loved and be able to love others.

470
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: I think that begins with your own inquiry into well,

471
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:22,360
Speaker 1: what about sex is uncomfortable? What about my history? I

472
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 1: love asking people about their sex education growing up, and

473
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: a lot of people said I didn't get one, like

474
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 1: we didn't talk about it. It was taboo. And I said,

475
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: that's your education right there, right there was your education.

476
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 1: It's taboo, It's something I shouldn't talk about. And then

477
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 1: that carries over in your life. So the first thing

478
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: is really examining, like what do I know about myself?

479
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 1: That is the programming or conditioning or education that I

480
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: got and then it's unlearning. So many people talk about

481
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 1: learning about sex, but really it's unlearning those messages even

482
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 1: around our gender too, like, oh, well, what does it

483
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 1: mean to be sexual as assistant heterosexual woman versus someone

484
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: else who grew up in a taboo culture and identify

485
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: as a different or a marginalized gender or identity, and

486
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,640
Speaker 1: so like, we all have that journey that then shapes us,

487
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 1: but it's not who we really are. And so it's

488
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 1: it's first the decision of, like I want to go

489
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 1: on this journey of sexual awakening and who am I?

490
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 1: Who am I really without all of that? And am

491
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 1: I willing to look at the shame that comes up

492
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 1: or the embarrassment that comes up and sit with it

493
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 1: and let it show you, let it show you. I

494
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 1: think so often we're trying to avoid these things instead

495
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 1: of leaning into them.

496
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 7: It's true.

497
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,719
Speaker 2: I mean, I think we all run from anything that

498
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 2: feels uncomfortable or taboo.

499
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 7: Like it's very natural.

500
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 2: To like just turn your head and go in the

501
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 2: other direction to avoid like confronting that. How did you

502
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 2: get started on like discovering this, Like how did you

503
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,040
Speaker 2: discover the Erotic Blueprints, and how did you like it

504
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: was something going on in your life where you were like,

505
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 2: what is happening that I'm not connecting with my partner.

506
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: I think it was two things. It was my own partner,

507
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 1: my own sex life, because my own sex life seems

508
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 1: to be my research lab whenever kind up going on

509
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 1: there that kind of goes on to life. But and

510
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: then also it was showing up in my practice. So

511
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: I work with a lot of couples who had a

512
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 1: discrepancy in their sex life. One wanted more, one wanted less,

513
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: one wanted sensual, the other person wanted something more sexual.

514
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 1: And so I started to notice in my own practice

515
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 1: these different ways of being or the ways of people

516
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 1: were turned on. And that's kind of how the Erotic

517
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 1: Blueprints were born. Was me going, oh, this is like,

518
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 1: not everybody fits the standard narrative of what we're told.

519
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,679
Speaker 1: And when I started to notice that, I started to go,

520
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,879
Speaker 1: oh uh oh, I'm doing the standard narrative of my

521
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 1: own sex life. I had written the books on the

522
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 1: sex tips. You know, I already had like three books

523
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 1: out on sex tips. I was doing striptease classes. I

524
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:04,360
Speaker 1: was I was, you know, approaching sex with my partner, Hey,

525
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 1: you want to have sex tonight? And he would just

526
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 1: kind of not be interested, and I didn't understand. I'm like,

527
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: I'm beautiful, you know, I'm strip teasing, like I'm doing

528
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 1: all the things, I know all the techniques. I'm this,

529
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 1: I'm the sex expert, Like why can I get my

530
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 1: own partner to have sex with me? Like I could

531
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: not understand what's going on? And that's when the blueprints

532
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 1: came was out of my own you know, him rolling

533
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: over on one side of the bed and me rolling

534
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,919
Speaker 1: over on the other, going, I'm incongruent with my work,

535
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: like I don't. I would cry myself to sleep at night,

536
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: actually like whoa, I can't. I don't have the sex

537
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 1: life that I want. And then I found out that

538
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: he wasn't a sexual blueprint and I was approaching everything

539
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: in the sexual blueprint and he's actually sensual, kinky, And

540
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: so as soon as I discovered that, everything turned around

541
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: for us, like it was it was almost instantaneous, like

542
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: I had access to his arousal. He would say things like, oh,

543
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 1: you're too obvious, and that right there should have been

544
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 1: because the sexual so obvious, like let's have sex totally.

545
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 3: But I feel like so because I feel like we've

546
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 3: had some people, maybe like one or two people email

547
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 3: in saying that they don't feel the chemistry, like they're

548
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 3: not having like good sex. Do you think that you

549
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,959
Speaker 3: can really make a like have good sex with anybody

550
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 3: as long as there's like love there, if they're willing

551
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 3: to give it a shot, if.

552
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 1: You have the foundation of love. I think that sex

553
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: is a skill. There is chemistry that does play a role.

554
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: So if we look at I'm going to get geeky

555
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: a little bit here. So there's a nerve called cranial

556
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: nerve zero, and one of the things I find fascinating

557
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: about cranial nerve zero is that it smells pheromones, and

558
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 1: what it does is it reads. It goes right to

559
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 1: the sex center of the brain, and the pheromone is

560
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: bigger than a smell molecule, So it's going to the

561
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 1: sex center of the brain, and it reads the immune

562
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 1: system of your partner to see if you would make

563
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: good offspring, and then creates attraction. So like, these little

564
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 1: things are going on like in our bodies, right, So

565
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 1: there is a chemistry, a biochemistry that's happening that's more

566
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 1: of the animal part of us, like meet with this

567
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: person because you're gonna make good babies with them, right.

568
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: And then, which is fascinating to me that we're picking

569
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: up these subtle things all the time. And then there's skill.

570
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: And so if you have love and if you had

571
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 1: a traction at the beginning, or if you have these

572
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 1: these cursors you know that are there, then it's everything

573
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: after that is not about sexual incompatibility. It's about can

574
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 1: I learn the skill set that turns my partner on?

575
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,399
Speaker 1: And am I willing? This is the big key is willing?

576
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, Because if.

577
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 1: You have somebody who's unwilling, no you like, then it's like, oh,

578
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 1: now I have to make this choice of being with

579
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: a person who's unwilling to learn my blueprint, my language

580
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 1: and how I'm turned on.

581
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 3: But you were saying that a lot of people don't

582
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: want to, like, you know, ruin the moment or interrupt

583
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 3: their nice dinner or whatever. So if people were coming out,

584
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 3: they're listening and they're saying, you know, I need to

585
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 3: have this conversation with my partner, how would you suggest

586
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 3: that they start this conversation.

587
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 1: The first thing is to say something really positive, So

588
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 1: don't come in with we need to talk, there's something

589
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 1: wrong like that, I was going to just put them

590
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 1: on edge right away, and so I like to start

591
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 1: with something that has to do with what I want

592
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 1: to discuss. Like, you know, we've been together for a while,

593
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: and I really love all the times that we've made

594
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: love together and that you've touched me, and I just

595
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 1: really am grateful for the physical relationship that we've had.

596
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: And then the next step is now create some safety,

597
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: even deeper safety for them, which is and I'd love

598
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 1: to have a conversation around our sex life. What would

599
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 1: have you feel safe to have that conversation or when

600
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: would be a good time. So you're making a request,

601
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 1: but you're creating safety at the same time. Another suggestion

602
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: I have is find a media media article or the

603
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 1: sex Love and Goop show, or I say to people,

604
00:27:58,680 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: blame it on me all the time I heard that

605
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 1: Lady Jaya talking about erotic Blue Friends, and see how

606
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 1: your partner responds, See how your partner that's like really safe,

607
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: because then it's not you bringing it to them.

608
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 7: It's right.

609
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 3: And like on a Wednesday morning, exactly like Saturday night,

610
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 3: you're like going to dinner and you're like, hey, here's

611
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 3: this article, Like Wednesday morning feels like very not aggressive.

612
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: Yes exactly, it's not the weekend where yeah, you might

613
00:28:27,119 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 1: be having sex and yeah.

614
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think all of our egos are so sensitive.

615
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 2: But I do feel like a lot of couples talk

616
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: about the five love languages, and I feel like, if

617
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 2: you're in a relationship and you're trying to get it

618
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 2: to work, why wouldn't you want every area of your

619
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 2: life life to be fulfilling for both people. Because I personally,

620
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: I find pleasure in my significant other being pleasured, so like,

621
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 2: as long as we're both happy, I feel like that's

622
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 2: a huge important part for me. But I think sometimes

623
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: suck sex and intimacy is a very selfish act because

624
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 2: we want to feel good so badly that sometimes we

625
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 2: neglect what's important for the other person.

626
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I say that if you're in a religon you

627
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: can do blueprints. If you're single, they're good for dating

628
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: because you know you can kind of know start to

629
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: read people in kind of thing. But if you're in

630
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 1: a relationship, you know it's once you know yourself, then

631
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: you want to own who you are, and I think

632
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: that that's important in that relationship to go, Here's who

633
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 1: I am. I want to know who you are and

634
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: what would feed you. So after you do that, it's

635
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 1: learning how to feed each other. Speak each other's language,

636
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: just like any personality or you know test like the

637
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 1: disc or ane, your gram or some of these different

638
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 1: the love languages. It's like, Okay, I want to know you,

639
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: and then I want to help speak your language so

640
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: that I'm not speaking we're not speaking foreign languages to

641
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: each other. And then we heal the shadow aspects of

642
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: the blueprints, which we haven't talked about yet, But what

643
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 1: are those things that are the shadow sides that are

644
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: holding us back in our sexuality And that's our own

645
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: work to do. And then the final thing is to

646
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: expand because you can expand into new blueprint territory.

647
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 2: Well, I was going to say, so, would have you

648
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 2: had different experiences where you're different blueprints with different partners?

649
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 7: Are you? Do you stick? Really?

650
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 1: Yes?

651
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 7: So you can change?

652
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: So like you taking the test, It's like Tonya the

653
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 2: other day was saying she took the Enneagram test and

654
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 2: hers keeps changing, and so I was thinking, I wonder

655
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 2: if it's the same way for this, where like you

656
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 2: can take the test and have that experience with one partner,

657
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: and then you someone new and it's totally different for you.

658
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting. I somewhat think that in relationship, and

659
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: they talk about this in the enneagram, which is the

660
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: enneagram shows you where you're limited, and I feel the

661
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: same thing with the blueprints. When you have your blueprint,

662
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: it's showing you, well, I have access here, but I

663
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 1: don't have access in the rest of the spectrum. And

664
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,239
Speaker 1: so I think that when we have a partner, like

665
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: my partner and I are complete opposite in our blueprint.

666
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: So I'm sexual energetic and he's sensual kinky. I'm zero kinky,

667
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: he's zero sexual. But we've expanded out of that, like

668
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 1: we've both over time expanded into new territory. But that

669
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: was where we met. And I think it's because our

670
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: our sexuality is trying to complete itself, so we attract

671
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: someone who has what we don't have, and so it's

672
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: like a puzzle coming together and then we find where

673
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: we don't have access in our sexuality and then we

674
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: can cultivate that and expand into it.

675
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 3: And I don't know if if you can really if

676
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 3: you have the answer to this or if you have

677
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 3: an opinion on this. But for people who are in

678
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 3: a study like committed relationship, how often should they be

679
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 3: having sex?

680
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: So should be having sex is kind of up to right, right,

681
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: But people say that one time a week. I was

682
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: with Ian Kerner recently in a lecture and he was saying,

683
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: one time a week gets the relationship to this place

684
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: of happiness, and so at least once a week. Now

685
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 1: some of us who are sexuals and he's sexuals listening Mega,

686
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: one time a week that's not enough. And so you know,

687
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 1: different blueprints are going to say different things, and it

688
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: depends on This has been a really interesting question for

689
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: me lately has been what has you feel satiated? Like

690
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: for a shape shifter, especially someone who's like a sexual

691
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 1: shape shifter.

692
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 4: Say shift, Yeah, right.

693
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: It's like three hours later, I could keep going, you know,

694
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 1: like tomorrow again, let's do another three hour, Like let's

695
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: try this other thing that we didn't try in the

696
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 1: last question, Like I'm curious about more, like more is

697
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: more and more feels good. So there's that What is

698
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 1: it that has us feel that feeling of satiation? And

699
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: I think even just culturally and looking at our careers

700
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: looking at food, looking at anything, we can go, Okay,

701
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 1: how do I ease the distress of feeling like I'm

702
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: not satiated and reach satiation. I think this could change

703
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 1: our whole world if we started to just learn what

704
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: it what it feels like to actually be satisfied and

705
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: satiated in.

706
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 2: Our world in general and everything.

707
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 7: Like we're never satisfied.

708
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 2: Our society is like never satisfied with anything.

709
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's always this promise of something out in the future,

710
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: right like that's going to make that fear as opposed

711
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: to right here in this moment that that, to me,

712
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 1: is a practice.

713
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I was just having conversation with

714
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 2: someone the other day, and I was saying, we barely

715
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 2: get to celebrate our success or any any like achievements

716
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 2: because we're moving on to what are we doing next?

717
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 2: Like what's going to be the next one that we achieve?

718
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 2: What are the shadow what was the shadow sides of

719
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 2: the sides?

720
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, it feels like there's like some like

721
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 3: childhood trauma related to this.

722
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: So if we if we look at the shadows, it's

723
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: like the things that put the brakes on. And Emily

724
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 1: Nagaski and her book Come As You Are talks about

725
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 1: the breaks and the accelerator model in sexuality. So they're

726
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: the things that they are like fuel to the fire

727
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: of your sexuality, and then the things that are like

728
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,720
Speaker 1: putting the brakes on. And if you think about a car,

729
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 1: if we have the break on with the accelerator, you're

730
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: still not going anywhere. And so the shadow aspects are

731
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 1: those things that put the brakes on and keep us

732
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: from fully, you know, speeding down the racetrack. So energetic

733
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 1: shadow is that they're so sensitive that they short circuit.

734
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: So I don't know any of you listening ever have that.

735
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: Like you're in the middle of sex and all of

736
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 1: a sudden, it's just like everything goes numb or you

737
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: fly out of your body because it was like too much,

738
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: too quick. It overwhelmed your system. And so there's a

739
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: lower capacity for the physicality of sex and a higher

740
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: chance that you will dissociate during sex. And oftentimes energetics

741
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: have the most trauma. You talked about jod and trauma,

742
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,799
Speaker 1: They have the most trauma in their history. But that's

743
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: what developed the hyper sensitive nervous system. Is that so

744
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: there's a hyper vigilance that happens. The sensual shadow is

745
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: getting in your head and not being able to get

746
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: in your body. So it's like, oh god, that pillows crooked.

747
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,439
Speaker 1: Oh I forgot about that call his breath smells.

748
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,280
Speaker 4: Or like I didn't shave my vagina today exactly.

749
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: Today, Like everything smelling okay? Like those are all centual

750
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: shadow pisis you know, being don't liking mess, just those

751
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: kinds of and then they pull you away from the

752
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 1: pleasure that's actually in your body. The sexual shadow is

753
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 1: sex equals X y Z, and if that's not happening,

754
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: then it's not sex. And they also get very fixated

755
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: on the end goal and not focused on the journey,

756
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: and what's happening in the moment is like, get to

757
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: that goal, so I can relax. Get to that goal,

758
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: so everything feels okay. Kinky is shame, deep shame about

759
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 1: their desires because they're on the edge, they're on the taboo,

760
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: and so the shame is most likely to come up there.

761
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: And then in the shape shifter, it's that I'm too

762
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: much or that I'm too complex. I often say, no,

763
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 1: you're just erotically sophisticated and very erotically intelligent.

764
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 2: Oh god, don't give her that.

765
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: And the most sturbing because they can shape shift to

766
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,839
Speaker 1: be anything for any lover, and so they'll shape shift

767
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: to be what the other person wants, and then they're

768
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: not being fully fed and they're full glory.

769
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 6: Of their or.

770
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: Those are just a few of the shadows.

771
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: But you a touch that's interesting though. I mean, this

772
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 2: all really makes sense to me. And like the way

773
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 2: you describe each of the blueprints the shadows, like really

774
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: it really checks.

775
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:11,919
Speaker 7: Out in my hand.

776
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 3: When you were first explaining it, I was like, like,

777
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 3: let's say you're kinky and you want your partner to

778
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 3: you know, wear like a thong or something, right, and

779
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 3: so like he puts a thong on, but then he.

780
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 4: Says like ho ho ho, I'm Santa.

781
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 3: You're like, h not what I wanted, you know what

782
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 3: I mean, like.

783
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 7: Turns it into something that's like not what you wanted, right.

784
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 1: Maybe because they're uncomfortable, right, so right, silliness during sex.

785
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: We giggle, we laugh because it's a way to relieve

786
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: the discomfort that we have in our own heads. And

787
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 1: and so you know, like give them kudos again, say

788
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: something possiblely. I love that you like put on the

789
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: thong and didn't try the thing. Wo would make it

790
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 1: for me next time?

791
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 2: No Santa, no Santa, no Santa.

792
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 3: But I do it like it really it really just

793
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 3: annoys me because I feel like I'm not I'm gonna

794
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,359
Speaker 3: try not to be graphic, but I feel like it's

795
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 3: the majority. You know, men, when you're having sex, they

796
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 3: in order for it to be done, like they need

797
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 3: to like finish, you know, and like, but sometimes girls

798
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 3: just don't. They just lie And I'm like, I don't know,

799
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 3: I don't understand, like why why that happens so often,

800
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 3: because like the stats are just like staggering. It's like

801
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,800
Speaker 3: seventy five percent or something wild.

802
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think the last I read it was

803
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: like around seventy six percent something. Yeah, fake orgasm. And

804
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: I always say, you have to stop doing that. And

805
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 1: the reason, yeah, we are training our partners to not

806
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: give us what we want in that because they think

807
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: that we're pleased. I can't tell you how many times

808
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 1: a partner are shocked to go you're dissatisfied and the

809
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: person's like, I've been dissatisfied for years. I've never even

810
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: had an orgasm and they're like what yeah, And that's

811
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 1: it's common. It's so common, and I think it's because

812
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: we're trying not to have a voice. We're trying not

813
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 1: to speak up about it. And like I said in

814
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 1: the beginning, like we don't want to hurt the egos

815
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: of our partners. And and I think that we are

816
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 1: in this limited definition of sex sex go slat a slat,

817
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: or we do the you know, kiss, make out, then

818
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 1: we go to the next base, you know, that sort

819
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 1: of like home run thing. Yeah, and that's like, so

820
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 1: not that is not what equals pleasurable sex.

821
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,720
Speaker 3: No, you know what that's like, that's like fourth grade math.

822
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 3: And we're into geometry now, okay, likely exactly.

823
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 1: And if you're an energetic like we're into like sacred

824
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: geometry on multiple dimensions and understand you're calculus. Yeah. We

825
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 1: get a lot of feedback about the second episode. I

826
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 1: don't want to get away a lot, but you know

827
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 1: there I'm demonstrating an energetic exchange with my partner in

828
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: that episode, and people are just like, what is going on?

829
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: What like, what's happening there? And it's because I've cultivated

830
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 1: for many years the sacred geometry, you know of the GM.

831
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 1: I've just studied this for so long and not long

832
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: doing fourth grade math anymore. And that's what people are seeing.

833
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 2: I honestly think people are going to be so relieved

834
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 2: to hear that someone who has done as much work

835
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 2: as you, who's a sex expert, had a moment in

836
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: your relationship where you were like, something's not working.

837
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 7: My partner is not wanting to have sex with me.

838
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 2: I've done everything right, according to myself. But I think

839
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 2: that will a lot of our listeners are going to

840
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 2: feel very almost empowered, knowing that it's not something about

841
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 2: them or something to even take super personally, that it

842
00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 2: could simply be that it's different blueprints and you have

843
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 2: to work at it.

844
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, different blueprints or any number of things. You know.

845
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: Also moms who've had babies and that whole journey, like

846
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 1: how that affects your body and your hormones, or how

847
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,840
Speaker 1: aging or menopad like, there's just so many things. And

848
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: I think we think we should be orgasmic and know

849
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: everything and be like the best lovers ever. And then

850
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: we live in a culture where there's no sex education.

851
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 1: We live in a culture that goes like, go back

852
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: to work, don't you know you don't have time to

853
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 1: heal or or a culture that also teaches us that

854
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 1: we're not whole already, like your whole and complete, And

855
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: even when I'm talking about all these different organic possibilities,

856
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 1: it's simply an unlearning again that shows you that your

857
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 1: whole and complete the way that you are, and we

858
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 1: all get to be perfect and a growth in progress

859
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: at the same time.

860
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 2: That's really powerful. I mean, I grew up the culture

861
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 2: I grew up and was very much like, don't have sex.

862
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,760
Speaker 2: If you have sex, you're giving your part of yourself

863
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: away and you're not a full person. Like there is

864
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 2: such a so much shame around it. And I think

865
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 2: a lot of people grow up with that, and even

866
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 2: if they leave that culture they find something that really

867
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 2: connects with them, there's still that voice that lives there.

868
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 2: You know. It's like a lot of unlearning to do

869
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,280
Speaker 2: to take the shame out of sex.

870
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think interesting thing about those voices. I

871
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: grew up Catholic, you know, all the same thing like

872
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: Catholic schoolgirl, keep your legs closed, everything loss, don't tempt

873
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 1: anyone with your you know, sexual self, all those messages,

874
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 1: and I think it's important that we take those voices

875
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: in our heads that are saying those things, and we

876
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: actually listen to them instead of trying to like push

877
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 1: them away get rid of them, because they're just going

878
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: to keep getting louder and go, okay, like I'm listening,

879
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 1: I'm here with you. What is it that you want

880
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 1: me to know? And you start to like listen and integrate.

881
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: That's how we integrate these parts of ourselves that we

882
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 1: may not see as positive now, but oftentimes we're trying

883
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 1: to keep us safe. I mean, yeah, when we were young,

884
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: that kept us in the tribe of our family or

885
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 1: church or whatever, and so they have a positive intent oftentimes,

886
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 1: but until we can listen to them and integrate them,

887
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 1: they run amuck in our minds.

888
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 7: That's a really good point.

889
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 2: You're the first person that's ever put it into that perspective.

890
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 3: For everybody that's listening, if they want to, let's say,

891
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 3: get your book for a friend, or you know, send

892
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 3: the quiz, get their quiz from a friend to show

893
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 3: to their partner. Where can everybody get information on what

894
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 3: you do?

895
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: The Blueprint Breakthrough is the website to take the quiz.

896
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: The Blueprint Breakthrough If you go to Jaya dot Love

897
00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: and my name is spelled jaiya dot love l o ve.

898
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: That's my website. But blueprint, the blueprint breakthrough is where

899
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 1: to go to get the quiz for a friend.

900
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 2: For a friend who might need one. Thank you, Jaiah

901
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: so much for coming on the podcast and chatting. I

902
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 2: know we could both probably talk to you for many

903
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 2: more hours, but I know you have other things to do,

904
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: so thanks for your time.

905
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 7: And yeah, than so much sex loving good because it's

906
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 7: pretty amazing.

907
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.

908
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:46,319
Speaker 2: All right, Okay, So the episode that I recently watched,

909
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 2: which is the second episode, and she kind of referenced

910
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 2: it in the interview when she and her husband are

911
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 2: doing like the energetic orgasm.

912
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I is that possible for us? Like do

913
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 4: you think we can get there?

914
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 3: I don't mean together, it's like okay, like live podcast.

915
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 2: No, I just to be that comfortable and connected with

916
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 2: your partner, Like.

917
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 7: I don't know that I could ever do that.

918
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 4: I know, well, no, I think I think you could.

919
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 2: No. No, no, I no, I really don't think you don't.

920
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 2: I think I'd be so in my head if I

921
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 2: was in front of anybody.

922
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 4: I want to try.

923
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 7: No, I'm saying, if you were on camera, or like

924
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 7: in front of a couple camera.

925
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,800
Speaker 4: As a whole nother story. That's wild.

926
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 3: But I think in the privacy of your own bedroom,

927
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 3: I think it's doable.

928
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,239
Speaker 7: Please, yeah, to try that energetic and let me know.

929
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 3: Oh god, I'd be willing to like try and like,

930
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,439
Speaker 3: you know, learn or whatever. I don't know if Red

931
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,240
Speaker 3: Star would be like down for the down for the cause.

932
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 7: Anyways, she's so cool. I love her And I think

933
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 7: Mark has an email.

934
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 6: I do, indeed, it's an anonymous one. My sister's been

935
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 6: seeing this guy for about nine months. He makes her happy,

936
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 6: but there's some serious red flags. He doesn't know his

937
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 6: limits and when not to give his opinion. Some things

938
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 6: he says are pretty offensive, to the point where we're

939
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 6: all looking around hoping that people around us didn't hear him.

940
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 6: Sometimes people are too blinded by the good things to

941
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 6: see the bad. But I don't know if it's.

942
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 5: My place to tell her.

943
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 6: Is there a way to express the concern without making

944
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:17,919
Speaker 6: her feel like I don't support her?

945
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 5: Or would you just not say anything at all?

946
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 4: Okay, wait, say it?

947
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:30,400
Speaker 3: Just the sister's boyfriend of nine months too much.

948
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 5: Very loud.

949
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 6: It sounds like he's very loud and defensive, and some

950
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 6: of his opinions are not very widely accepted, and so

951
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 6: they're worried that people are going to hear him. It's

952
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 6: like an embarrassing he sounds like a bit of.

953
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,280
Speaker 4: A blowhard, Like an embarrassing uncle.

954
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of Yeah.

955
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 6: You know, you're out in public and he's being loud

956
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 6: and obnoxious and kind of offensive.

957
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 4: You can't say anything. You just can't.

958
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 7: I don't know.

959
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 2: It's not like she's I would just feel like, hey,

960
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 2: I would have a one on one conversation with your

961
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: sister and be like, hey, do you ever feel you know,

962
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 2: thrown off by some of his comments, especially like in public,

963
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: Like do those things bother you?

964
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 4: And she's gonna be like, no, do they bother you?

965
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 6: And you'd be like, yeah, if you can't, If you

966
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,800
Speaker 6: can't be honest with your own sister, if you can't

967
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 6: expect honesty from your own sister, who can you expect

968
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 6: it from.

969
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 5: It's not like you're not gonna lose your sister, you're

970
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 5: gonna lose a friend.

971
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 3: But it's like, it's not about being honest. It's like

972
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 3: that maybe that's her taste, maybe she likes it. He's

973
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:29,320
Speaker 3: allowed mouth, and he has an opinion, you know what

974
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 3: I mean? Like, how are you to say what she

975
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 3: likes and what she doesn't like? It's not you're not

976
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,800
Speaker 3: dating him, then if you donought, it'll be covered.

977
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 6: She'll say that. Look, you have a sister, you have

978
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 6: a boyfriend. Robbie's fantastic, So this is purely fantasy. But

979
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 6: if your sister said to you, look, Robbie's.

980
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 5: A little loud.

981
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 6: Sometimes it's a little obnoxious, and I don't agree with

982
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 6: what he says, and are.

983
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 5: You sure about this? Wouldn't you want to hear that

984
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 5: from your sister.

985
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 4: I'd be like, sorry, I like it.

986
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,479
Speaker 6: Okay, fine, But at least now your sister has said

987
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,319
Speaker 6: what she needs to say and you can both move

988
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 6: on from there.

989
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

990
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 3: I get what you're saying, Like I'm not gonna be

991
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 3: pissed and like disown my sister or anything like.

992
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 7: That, right, right, I also am.

993
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 2: So it's so it's so hard because it's kind of vague,

994
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 2: like what are the things that he's saying, Like are

995
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,959
Speaker 2: they things that inappropriate?

996
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 4: Like yeah, almost slide up your skirt or like.

997
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 7: Whatever, what slide up your skirt? Okay?

998
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 2: Yeah? Is he gonna is he saying he's gonna slide

999
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 2: up this skirt or or is he saying like is

1000
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 2: he making like loud comments on.

1001
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,359
Speaker 7: The political spectrum, It's just kind of like, what are

1002
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 7: the boundary?

1003
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,240
Speaker 5: I read it more of a politicolitical.

1004
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 2: Thing, and so for me, it's kind of like we

1005
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 2: all have differences in that area, and sometimes there's people

1006
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 2: who are just louder than other people. And I think

1007
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 2: if you feel like it's something that your sister likes

1008
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 2: or he's always like that and it doesn't bother her,

1009
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,960
Speaker 2: maybe she has the same thoughts and beliefs and it

1010
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:01,240
Speaker 2: might not even be worth saying anything, but because she's

1011
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 2: choosing to be with him, seeing him and hearing him

1012
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 2: say these things, So yeah, I mean, unless it's directly

1013
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 2: offending you, I don't.

1014
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,399
Speaker 3: I mean, I just learned my lesson at the ripe

1015
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 3: old age of twenty one voicing my opinion about her

1016
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 3: friend's significant other, and it bit me in the ours

1017
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 3: and I will never do it again.

1018
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 5: Friend is different than sister.

1019
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 3: I get what you're saying, but it's still I don't know.

1020
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 3: They've only been dating nine months.

1021
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 4: They could break up tomorrow. Like it's like, save your tears.

1022
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 6: No, now is the time to say something before she's

1023
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,280
Speaker 6: too deeply entrenched to realize she's made a huge mistake.

1024
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 2: I don't know. They're in the first year. So maybe

1025
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 2: after the first year she'll be like, what have I

1026
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 2: been doing? I've been blinded by the honeymoon stage and

1027
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, with this loser who talks loudly.

1028
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 7: Right about you might.

1029
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 3: Be like in the ween stage where she's like, what

1030
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:57,719
Speaker 3: do they digmatized?

1031
00:49:58,200 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 7: What?

1032
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:00,919
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, is that a thing?

1033
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1034
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:03,240
Speaker 7: Digmatized.

1035
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 1: That feels.

1036
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 8: It just got a new vocabulary word.

1037
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 3: Like, she's like, you know, like in that phase, and

1038
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,759
Speaker 3: then the minute that goes away, she's like, this is

1039
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:16,439
Speaker 3: not my guy.

1040
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 6: Bye, I think you're planning a seed. And when he's

1041
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 6: obnoxious in public in the future, your sister is going

1042
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 6: to be like, oh, yeah, boy, she's kind of right

1043
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 6: about this. At first, you'll feel defensive, but after as

1044
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 6: the weeks go on, she'd be like, wow, he is

1045
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 6: a bit of a dick, isn't he. And then success, Yeah.

1046
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 2: I almost wonder if you wait until there's a moment

1047
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 2: where you say something that challenges him and it's kind

1048
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 2: of like you speak up as loud as he does

1049
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 2: about something that you're passionate about, and then if there's

1050
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 2: a conflict there, then you can have that conversation.

1051
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 7: But I don't know, I.

1052
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 4: Mean different strokes for different folks people.

1053
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 8: Maybe I'm being a pessimist here, but I don't think

1054
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 8: this is something that can be fixed, right. Like I

1055
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 8: feel like if you bring it to like if the

1056
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 8: sister says to the guy like, hey, you're you know,

1057
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 8: you're kind of loud, like not a lot of guys

1058
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 8: go like, you know what, you're right, and I pipe

1059
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 8: it down right.

1060
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 6: Time.

1061
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 8: I'm I'm a loud person and I get told I'm

1062
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 8: loud all the time, and I have a really hard

1063
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 8: time keeping it under control.

1064
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 2: But you're not a rude, well I'm not. You're excited

1065
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 2: and nice and kind. So you're not this guy.

1066
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 4: Houston, Thank you very much.

1067
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 8: I talk over people sometimes, I interrupt my my poor

1068
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 8: uh wife old the goddamn time, and uh, it's hard

1069
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 8: to keep it under control. And I'm not, you know,

1070
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 8: and I don't have strong opinions about it almost anything.

1071
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 8: But so guys like that, I just feel like you

1072
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,319
Speaker 8: got either accepted or find someone else.

1073
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 2: I would just say be glad that you're not dating him,

1074
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 2: and recognize that that is not the person that you

1075
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 2: want to be with or be around, and just spend

1076
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,879
Speaker 2: as little time as possible that you have to with him,

1077
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: and hopefully your sister. I mean, I have a friend

1078
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 2: who's has a an in law who is very outspoken

1079
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 2: and loud, and she's just kind of like, it is

1080
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,879
Speaker 2: what it is. You know, my sister married him, and

1081
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 2: I'm not married to him, thank God, And that's kind

1082
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 2: of like how you have to kind of that's just life,

1083
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 2: I think, and especially with siblings and family. Sometimes people

1084
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 2: end up with people that you don't necessarily like you

1085
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 2: want to choose for them or for yourself.

1086
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:35,280
Speaker 3: So but it's like that's again like thirty one flavors,

1087
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 3: pick yours.

1088
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 7: I love Bathroom Robbins.

1089
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 2: I did too, So yeah, I don't know if that's

1090
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,399
Speaker 2: great advice, but I would just say limit your time

1091
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 2: with him.

1092
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 4: And did you eat ice cream this weekend?

1093
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:51,439
Speaker 7: I always eat ice cream.

1094
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 4: Did you have pies?

1095
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:53,359
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1096
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 7: I always have pie. No, I did have pies though.

1097
00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 5: Pies are the best.

1098
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,439
Speaker 7: Yeah, you love a pie?

1099
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,920
Speaker 4: Have you read a lemon a lemon cream pie?

1100
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 5: Yes? Fantastic.

1101
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell you something. I don't like lemon flavored anything.

1102
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 3: Now, lemon cream pie is like, it's like heaven in

1103
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 3: your mouth. It is so delicious. I don't understand how

1104
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 3: it's so good.

1105
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 7: That clip that she's gonna make of you just rolling.

1106
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 5: Your eyes, Crystal, have fun, Crystal.

1107
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:33,320
Speaker 7: Enjoy the content.

1108
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 3: I just like, I forget about lemon cream pie and

1109
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 3: just what a treat.

1110
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 7: Yeah. Thanksgiving is where pie really gets to shine.

1111
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 2: You know? Do you like?

1112
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 4: Did you have a traditional Thanksgiving?

1113
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:48,799
Speaker 5: M hm?

1114
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:53,360
Speaker 2: I weirdly grew up I never liked traditional food, but

1115
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 2: as I've gotten older, I really enjoy it. And I

1116
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 2: had two plates and then I had leftovers later that night.

1117
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 4: Nice.

1118
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 7: It was so intense. I felt so ill.

1119
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 6: I have leftovers for lunch in my bag right now,

1120
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 6: what are they? I took a pita and I put

1121
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 6: turkey in it and stuffing and cranberry in it, and

1122
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:13,399
Speaker 6: I rolled it up.

1123
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,959
Speaker 4: I love Hawberry sauce is good.

1124
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, it really makes it all come together.

1125
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,839
Speaker 7: I made sweet potato casserole. You would love it.

1126
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:25,720
Speaker 2: It has just like marshmallows. I put candied dum corn

1127
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:26,719
Speaker 2: flakes in it.

1128
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 7: I don't like candied things. But cornish sugar corn flakes.

1129
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,320
Speaker 7: Oh okay, it's like this carrotter to flay from Delilah.

1130
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:39,960
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, it was really really delicious.

1131
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 7: I hate so much.

1132
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 8: I've never had any type of castrole in my entire life.

1133
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 2: Okay, I am not a castrole person, like if someone was, like,

1134
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 2: I did not grow up on casseroles, but like sweet

1135
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 2: potato casserole, to treat, corn casserole, green bean casserole, all

1136
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:59,279
Speaker 2: really good, especially on Thanksgiving specifically, I.

1137
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:01,319
Speaker 8: Dream of trying it someday. I feel like it's something

1138
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 8: i'd be really into.

1139
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 4: Dream a high.

1140
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 7: I can make that dream come true for you East

1141
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 7: Oh yeah yeah.

1142
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:14,400
Speaker 8: Oh you're gonna regret slaying that Bega. I will not

1143
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 8: leave you alone.

1144
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 7: I'll make you all your own cast roles.

1145
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:20,479
Speaker 8: Thank you so much.

1146
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 7: You're welcome. Well, on that note, it's time.

1147
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 1: I know.

1148
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:28,279
Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, I feel like I'm still

1149
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 3: in a food coma because I feel like I had

1150
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,720
Speaker 3: so many things that I wanted to like talk about,

1151
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 3: but I can say it for next week too, because

1152
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 3: they're mostly about like end of year things.

1153
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,480
Speaker 7: Just thoughts, oh yeah, just like goals and stuff.

1154
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just like thoughts it's.

1155
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 5: Not even December yet, plenty of time.

1156
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, Well, we love you all. We'll be

1157
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 2: here next Monday and we hope to see you here there.

1158
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, December first sucks because they're raising my rent one

1159
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:53,919
Speaker 3: hundred bucks.

1160
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 7: I don't know, I know, you know what.

1161
00:55:57,719 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I did that. What's something?

1162
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 7: Happy?

1163
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 3: Rebecca is drinking liquids in the studio. There's a plus.

1164
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, we're happy. And it's December first. It's the greatest

1165
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:08,279
Speaker 6: time of the year. We've talked about it. The lights

1166
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:09,879
Speaker 6: are on the houses. It's a beautiful time.

1167
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 4: It's the best time. And it's Hanica. Yeah, you know what,

1168
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 4: there is just so much to be thankful for.

1169
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 2: There's always stuff to be grateful for. Yeah, and on

1170
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:19,359
Speaker 2: that note, we'll see you next week.

1171
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 4: The lights