Speaker 1: Guess what, mango?
Speaker 2: What's that? Will?
Speaker 3: So, a couple of weeks ago, you quoted this old
Speaker 3: deep thought by Jack Candy and it took me by surprise.
Speaker 1: Do you remember doing this?
Speaker 2: So I don't remember what we were talking about, but
Speaker 2: I definitely remember quoting Deep Thoughts, and I think it
Speaker 2: was like the face of a child can say it all,
Speaker 2: especially the mouth part of the faces.
Speaker 3: That is definitely the one that was one of my favorites,
Speaker 3: although it's hard to pick a favorite, And honestly, it
Speaker 3: had been a few years since i'd really binged on
Speaker 3: Deep Thoughts, and I feel like that's the only way
Speaker 3: to experience them, like you have to read one hundred
Speaker 3: at a time, and so I was a little bit
Speaker 3: overdue for this. And for any listeners who might not
Speaker 3: remember Deep Thoughts, they were these silly and stupid one
Speaker 3: liners that were delivered as though they were these inspirational
Speaker 3: and meaningful pieces of advice. And you know, Jack Candy
Speaker 3: had actually been writing these since the mid eighties, but
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure you and I both discovered them when
Speaker 3: Handy would read them on Saturday Night Live. Is that
Speaker 3: is that where you first heard them?
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, that's when I was first exposed to them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this was the early nineties. I guess we
Speaker 3: were both in middle school at the time. And I
Speaker 3: thought about another one when Tristan was wearing these fancy
Speaker 3: kicks the other day. He's got lots and lots of shoes,
Speaker 3: but he had some really fancy ones on, and so
Speaker 3: I thought about this when it said before you criticize someone,
Speaker 3: you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way,
Speaker 3: when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them
Speaker 3: and you're in their shoes.
Speaker 2: So stupid. I love that, but it is kind of
Speaker 2: good advice.
Speaker 1: I guess it definitely is.
Speaker 3: And actually, one of the other things I noticed is
Speaker 3: that there was more than one deep thought about pirates weirdly,
Speaker 3: but I think my favorite was pirates were always going
Speaker 3: around searching for treasure and never realized the real treasure
Speaker 3: was the fond memories they were creating.
Speaker 2: Well, I do feel like you're reading that as a
Speaker 2: sign because we've been talking about doing an episode on
Speaker 2: pirates for such a long time now.
Speaker 1: We definitely have.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's how we knew it was time to
Speaker 3: do this, because we've been keeping this list of all
Speaker 3: the pirate stereotypes, and I wanted to know what of
Speaker 3: them are actually true and you know, we're pirates, anything
Speaker 3: like the ones that we see in the movies. Did
Speaker 3: they actually say stuff like shiver me timbers or bury treasure?
Speaker 3: Or did they really carry around monkeys and parrots? And
Speaker 3: my god, I hope that they did. But it's time
Speaker 3: to find out. So let's dive in. Hey, their podcast
Speaker 3: listener is welcome to Part Time Genius. I'm Will Pearson
Speaker 3: and as always I'm joined by my friend Mangesh hot
Speaker 3: ticketter and on the other side of the soundproof glass,
Speaker 3: I actually don't know what Tristan is doing today.
Speaker 1: I am up in New York.
Speaker 3: I'm in my hotel room in this very fancy studio,
Speaker 3: which is just myesk in my hotel room. So it
Speaker 3: may not sound as great as Tristan usually makes it sound,
Speaker 3: but Mango, I gotta know what is Tristan doing.
Speaker 2: So he did not disappoint. He showed up in a
Speaker 2: total pirate Halloween costume. He's got everything. He's got an ipatch,
Speaker 2: a bandana, tri corner hat, he's got a hoop, earrings,
Speaker 2: he's got a stuffed parrot on his shoulder, and he
Speaker 2: even has a tri corner hat for his stuffed parrots.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how true to life that far it is,
Speaker 2: but it is a nice touch. So well done, Tristan McNeil.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 3: And actually, I just as we're talking, I just got
Speaker 3: a text from Ramsey's showing me a picture of Tristan.
Speaker 1: This is amazing.
Speaker 3: I mean, you could say every part of his costume
Speaker 3: is pretty much in line with the way that we
Speaker 3: conceive of pirates, because I mean, I guess this is
Speaker 3: how we're used to seeing them in books and pop culture.
Speaker 3: So thank you Tristan for furthering this stereotype of pirates.
Speaker 3: But it does make us wonder like, how much, if
Speaker 3: any of this is actually true. And I don't just
Speaker 3: mean how pirates dressed in real life, but how they
Speaker 3: acted too.
Speaker 2: Like.
Speaker 3: On the one hand, pirates we see in movies and
Speaker 3: theme parks often come off as these really these charming
Speaker 3: and kind of rough around the edges folk heros, almost
Speaker 3: like Robin Hoods of the Sea or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, do you think about like Wesley from The
Speaker 2: Princess Bride, and he's just kind of a gentleman pirate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's exactly right.
Speaker 3: And you know, when you read these historical accounts and pirates,
Speaker 3: mostly those sound like these bloodthirsty outlaws. It's a bit
Speaker 3: of a mixed message. So with today's show, we thought
Speaker 3: it would be fun to try to make sense of
Speaker 3: the competing pirate narratives, and to do that, we'll fact
Speaker 3: check some of the biggest stereotypes we typically associate with
Speaker 3: pirates and see which ones hold water. And then a
Speaker 3: little bit later, we'll separate pirate truth from pirate fiction
Speaker 3: when we share a few of our all time favorite
Speaker 3: pirate stories. So, Meguel, you want to kick us off,
Speaker 3: like what pirate cliche do you feel like we should
Speaker 3: start with today?
Speaker 2: Well, I was thinking about it. You know, it was
Speaker 2: international talk like a Pirate Day not too long ago,
Speaker 2: and while I did manage to slip a few rs
Speaker 2: into my conversation this year, I also, you know, I
Speaker 2: couldn't help feeling like a little bit of a phony
Speaker 2: since I actually have no idea how pirates talked, and
Speaker 2: as it turns out, nobody does. So piracy was as
Speaker 2: peaked during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, so there aren't
Speaker 2: really any audio recordings to refer to. And the witness
Speaker 2: accounts that we do have only acclude kind of a
Speaker 2: handful of quotes from actual pirates.
Speaker 1: What about writing from the pirates?
Speaker 3: I mean, it feels like there's got to be at
Speaker 3: least one pirate autobiography floating around out there, wouldn't there be?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Actually there really aren't. That There isn't much of a
Speaker 2: record of anything written by pirates themselves. Blackbeard supposedly kept
Speaker 2: a diary of all his exploits, but that's never been recovered,
Speaker 2: and so the little bit of writing we do have
Speaker 2: from actual pirates comes mostly from the ones who start
Speaker 2: out as nobility before going rogue, and since they tend
Speaker 2: to be really well educated, their speech patterns probably wouldn't
Speaker 2: have mimicked those of most pirates anyway.
Speaker 3: So, you know, you think about all the talk of
Speaker 3: salty dogs and scally wags and pirates inviting folks to
Speaker 3: shiver me timbers, whatever that actually means. But like, none
Speaker 3: of those are phrases that pirates actually used.
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably not. I mean, like I mentioned earlier, there's
Speaker 2: no real evidence one way or the other, but most
Speaker 2: scholars think English speaking pirates from the so called Golden
Speaker 2: Age of piracy probably spoke the same way merchant sailors
Speaker 2: did at the time. A lot of both of the
Speaker 2: people in these groups came from a riverfront neighborhoods in London,
Speaker 2: so it's likely they spoke with similar accents and used
Speaker 2: common slang. But sadly you don't really see shiver me
Speaker 2: timbers coming up in much of that discussion.
Speaker 1: That is a real disappointment.
Speaker 3: But I'm guessing the pirate jargon were used to mostly
Speaker 3: comes from books and movies, right, stuff like Treasure Island
Speaker 3: or Peter Pan.
Speaker 2: I guess yeah, And Treasure Island in particular is the
Speaker 2: one that'll come up a lot today. A lot of
Speaker 2: the phrases we connect with pirates were first popularized by
Speaker 2: the book in eighteen eighty three, and then again in
Speaker 2: Disney's movie adaptation in the nineteen fifties. And actually the
Speaker 2: movie version is also credited for our association of pirates
Speaker 2: with these gruff and vaguely Scottish accents, and that's because
Speaker 2: it starred Robert Newman as the fictional pirate Long John Silver.
Speaker 2: So Newman was a native of southwest England, and as
Speaker 2: such he spoke with this really distinctive regional dialect called
Speaker 2: West Country English, and some of the dialect's characteristics line
Speaker 2: up perfectly with how most of us imagined pirates to
Speaker 2: have talked. So, for example, West Country speakers tend to
Speaker 2: emphasize their rs. They also replaced the verb is with b,
Speaker 2: which is, you know, a decidedly pirate move when you
Speaker 2: think of constructions like where be the rum? Right? And
Speaker 2: if that wasn't enough, West Country speakers are even known
Speaker 2: to replace the word yes with ours sometimes huh.
Speaker 3: So our conception of pirate speech seems to be pretty
Speaker 3: arbitrary when you break it down like this, I mean,
Speaker 3: if it really does go back to just that one performance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Newman's role in Treasure Island wasn't his only
Speaker 2: one as a pirate. He also appeared in a couple
Speaker 2: other pirate movies in the era, and it was all
Speaker 2: of this together that started to influence other people's portrayal
Speaker 2: of pirates, until finally the West Country accent just became
Speaker 2: the standard. And while it might seem random that a
Speaker 2: Southwest English accent would become the de facto voice, there's
Speaker 2: actually more of a historical connection than you might expect.
Speaker 2: So just listen to this explanation. I found on slate. Quote.
Speaker 2: It's not entirely arbitrary that Newton should have used an
Speaker 2: exaggeration of his own dialect to play long John Silver.
Speaker 2: The West Country, the southwest corner of England, including Cornwall, Somerset, Devon,
Speaker 2: Dorset and Bristol, has a long seafaring tradition, and so
Speaker 2: many historical pirates would likely have spoken in a similar way.
Speaker 2: Both Blackbeard and Sir Francis Drake were from that area,
Speaker 2: although Sir Francis was technically a privateer. But perhaps the
Speaker 2: most famous inhabitant of the West Country is Hagrid from
Speaker 2: the Harry Potter series. Can't you just imagine Haggard saying
Speaker 2: you're a pirate Harry end quote?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I can easily imagine that, And I
Speaker 3: actually can't believe that I'd never made that connection before,
Speaker 3: because Haggrid totally said like a.
Speaker 1: Pirate or other Yeah, fictional one, I guess.
Speaker 3: But uh, you know, there is some evidence that pirates
Speaker 3: really did have their own unique way of speaking, including
Speaker 3: some bits of nautical lingo that eventually found their way
Speaker 3: into popular usage.
Speaker 1: And now the.
Speaker 3: Origin of these phrases can be pretty tough to pin down,
Speaker 3: but there are at least a few that are thought
Speaker 3: to have come from pirates and privateers, including you know,
Speaker 3: learn the ropes, and of course three sheets to the wind.
Speaker 3: And the first of these came from the need for
Speaker 3: sailors to understand how to use the complex system of
Speaker 3: ropes and pulleys that controlled the ship's sails, so they
Speaker 3: would literally have to learn the ropes.
Speaker 2: And so was three sheets to the wind just as literal?
Speaker 2: Or was that a term for being super drunk like
Speaker 2: how we use it today?
Speaker 3: This one was actually pretty literal too, And actually the
Speaker 3: original phrase pirates used was three sheets in the wind,
Speaker 3: not to it. And so you might guess that the
Speaker 3: sheets in question were the sails on a ship, but
Speaker 3: actually they were the ropes that controlled those sails. So
Speaker 3: apparently if three or more ropes became loose, the sales
Speaker 3: would start flapping, and then the crew can lose control
Speaker 3: of where the ship's headed. So if somebody's really drunk,
Speaker 3: they're just as out of control as a ship with
Speaker 3: three sheets in the wind.
Speaker 2: So another question I was eager to answer is whether
Speaker 2: or not pirates really hid buried treasure. And while it
Speaker 2: does seem like this happened on occasion, it was definitely
Speaker 2: not a widespread practice. In fact, I could only find
Speaker 2: a couple historical accounts of pirates actually burying their loot,
Speaker 2: and even in those cases, the pirates only hit it
Speaker 2: for a short period while they waited for the heat
Speaker 2: from their latest heist to die down. In fact, pirate
Speaker 2: treasure never stayed buried for long, and they certainly didn't
Speaker 2: circulate a bunch of treasure maps with big red x's
Speaker 2: on them for people to go looking for it. And
Speaker 2: that's partly because pirates didn't really deal in treasure chests
Speaker 2: full of gold or pieces of eight or whatever you
Speaker 2: like to imagine like. Instead, when pirates looted ships, they
Speaker 2: were stealing things like coffee and sugar and tea and
Speaker 2: textiles like whatever those ships were care and then they
Speaker 2: would sell those spoils on the black market, and that's
Speaker 2: how they'd end up with the pirate gold we associate
Speaker 2: with them. But even then, once pirates had all this
Speaker 2: gold in hand, they weren't super frugal or forward thinking
Speaker 2: enough to invest it. Instead, you know, according to this
Speaker 2: maritime historian named David Cordingly, pirates typically blew their loot
Speaker 2: on drinking gambling and women as soon as they got
Speaker 2: to port.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'd say that fits with the pirate
Speaker 3: lifestyle a lot more than squirreling away your money.
Speaker 1: And you know, I mean I.
Speaker 3: Think about this, burying treasure would effectively be like putting
Speaker 3: your money in a bank, and I don't know banking.
Speaker 3: Does it strike me as this very piratey thing to do?
Speaker 3: But exactly anyway, I mean, this idea of buried treasure
Speaker 3: had to come from somewhere, though, So do you think
Speaker 3: it just spun out of those few scattered accounts that
Speaker 3: you found?
Speaker 2: I mean, that's why I thought at first, But it
Speaker 2: turns out this is another case that's rooted less in
Speaker 2: history and more in treasure Island. So in the book,
Speaker 2: long John Silver is on the hunt for a stash
Speaker 2: of hidden gold, and of course a secret treasure map
Speaker 2: is the key to finding it. But what's funny is
Speaker 2: that Robert Lewis Stevenson didn't actually invent this idea, and
Speaker 2: he didn't base it on real life either. Instead, he
Speaker 2: flat out stole the idea from another seventeenth century author,
Speaker 2: Edgar Allan Poe.
Speaker 1: Poe.
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, So it comes from Poe's short story the Goldbug,
Speaker 2: and the main characters hunt down Captain Kidd's treasure using
Speaker 2: a cipher that's based on how frequently certain letters appeared
Speaker 2: in the English language.
Speaker 1: In this story.
Speaker 2: And this is pretty much the same premise as in
Speaker 2: Treasure Island, except Stevenson substituted a map in place of
Speaker 2: the cipher, and the author later copped this too. Like
Speaker 2: in his preface to the book, he said, quote, the
Speaker 2: map was the chief part of my plot. For that
Speaker 2: I broke into the gallery of mister Poe.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, a pattern is definitely starting to emerge
Speaker 3: here because I actually have another pirate stereotype that we
Speaker 3: can at least partly thank Treasure Island for. And that's
Speaker 3: the idea that pirates made people walk the plank. Not
Speaker 3: to be fair, plank walking did exist among pirates to
Speaker 3: some degree, but most historians will tell you that it
Speaker 3: was a pretty rare form of punishment. Now, the most
Speaker 3: recognizable example of the practice occurred in the mid eighteen hundreds,
Speaker 3: I think, and this was when an eyewitness reported that
Speaker 3: a British ship captain had been abducted by pirates. In
Speaker 3: that quote, a plank was run on the starboard side
Speaker 3: of their schooner, upon which they made Captain Smith walk,
Speaker 3: and as he approached the end, they tilted the plank
Speaker 3: when he dropped into the sea. Now beyond that, we
Speaker 3: know that some Caribbean pirates also force captured sailors to
Speaker 3: walk the plank, and there are even some accounts of
Speaker 3: Mediterranean pirates taking part in something similar back in the
Speaker 3: days of ancient Rome. In this case, the pirates would
Speaker 3: suspend a ladder out over the ocean and then mockingly
Speaker 3: invite prisoners to crawl out on it and swim back
Speaker 3: home to freedom.
Speaker 2: Oh that seems pretty cruel. But yeah, I'm curious. How
Speaker 2: does Treasure Island fit into all of this?
Speaker 3: Basically, Robert Lewis Stevenson and a few other writers of
Speaker 3: his era are mostly responsible for making plank walking, you know,
Speaker 3: more ubiquitous than it really was, and their stories presented
Speaker 3: as kind of the go to form of punishment that
Speaker 3: pirates used, and this idea was only enforced by popular
Speaker 3: illustrations and paintings from this same time period. Now all
Speaker 3: of that really cemented. Plank walking is one of the
Speaker 3: visual icons of piracy, and the interesting thing about this
Speaker 3: misplaced attention is that it actually makes some pirates seem
Speaker 3: less cruel than they really were, because if pirates really
Speaker 3: wanted to do away with a mutinous crew member or
Speaker 3: a troublesome captive, I mean, they had far worse methods
Speaker 3: than simply forcing somebody overboard. And you know, some of
Speaker 3: the more common practices included marooning someone onto an island,
Speaker 3: which almost always resulted in a slow death for the victim.
Speaker 3: Then there was the especially grizzly punishment called keel hauling,
Speaker 3: and this was when the victim was tied naked to
Speaker 3: a rope, thrown overboard, and then just tragically dragged beneath
Speaker 3: the entire length of the ship while barnacles cut up
Speaker 3: their skin.
Speaker 1: It's pretty gross to read about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels horrible. In fact, I want to get
Speaker 2: as an happier note asap. So I'm just gonna come
Speaker 2: right out and tell you that pirates almost certainly kept
Speaker 2: parrots as pets. Good and so this is another pirate
Speaker 2: trope that was popularized by Treasuer Island. Long John Silver
Speaker 2: was the first fictional pirate to walk around with a
Speaker 2: parrot on his shoulder, But in this case, Stevenson was
Speaker 2: really drawing from history So to give a little background
Speaker 2: when we talk about the Golden Age of piracy, which
Speaker 2: I still find such a funny phrase to say that,
Speaker 2: you know, we're really referring to this period from about
Speaker 2: the mid sixteen hundreds to around seventeen thirty. And in
Speaker 2: that time, the recent discoveries of the Americas in Australia
Speaker 2: had created a boom and exploration, so for the first
Speaker 2: time in history and multiple nations were shipping tons and
Speaker 2: tons of money and valuable goods all across this largely
Speaker 2: uncharted and unprotected oceans, and of course this made them
Speaker 2: easy picking for enterprising pirates, hence the term Golden Age.
Speaker 2: But in order to rob ships of their precious cargo,
Speaker 2: pirates had to go where the ships went, which meant
Speaker 2: taking to trade routes that mostly led to the Caribbean
Speaker 2: or West Africa or the various coasts along the Indian Ocean.
Speaker 2: And this required long voyages that lasted weeks or months
Speaker 2: at a time and often took the pirates to these
Speaker 2: exotic lands populated by unusual animals like parrots and also monkeys.
Speaker 1: So let's get to the important part.
Speaker 3: Please tell me that the monkey thing is true, because
Speaker 3: the world is kind of a rough place right now,
Speaker 3: And I feel like it would make me feel better
Speaker 3: to know that a pirate captain could have had a
Speaker 3: parrot on one shoulder and a monkey on the other one.
Speaker 2: So there isn't much documentation about that specific combination, but
Speaker 2: pirates with monkeys certainly weren't uncommon. Parrots were the more
Speaker 2: practical pet though. Parrots would eat things that were already
Speaker 2: on board, so you think about like fruits or seeds
Speaker 2: or nuts, and they didn't really need that much to
Speaker 2: sustain them. Plus they could be taught all these kind
Speaker 2: of neat tricks like how to talk. And you know,
Speaker 2: there's no better way for a pirate to start up
Speaker 2: a conversation at port than by introducing people to the
Speaker 2: talking bird that he, you know, picked up well at sea.
Speaker 1: Well that's a good point.
Speaker 3: And still you think after a while it might be
Speaker 3: kind of risky to walk around with a big, bright
Speaker 3: bird on your shoulder. I mean, it seems like that's
Speaker 3: a tough way to keep a low profile.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's also good branding. I don't think that
Speaker 2: many pirates actually kept their parrots for that long. According
Speaker 2: to this historian, Angus Constam, author of the history of pirates,
Speaker 2: he writes, back home, people would pay good money for
Speaker 2: parrots and other exotic creatures, and sailors could easily buy
Speaker 2: them in Caribbean ports. Some were kept, but most were
Speaker 2: sold when the ship reached home. So really they were
Speaker 2: selling them as soon as they got to port.
Speaker 3: Well that makes sense, So it's still it's nice to
Speaker 3: know that pirates really did keep parrots, even if only.
Speaker 1: For a little while.
Speaker 3: But all right, well, I know there are a couple
Speaker 3: more pirate myths that we want to take a look at.
Speaker 3: But before we do, let's take a quick break. You're
Speaker 3: listening to Part Time Genius, and we're talking about the
Speaker 3: facts and fiction that fuel.
Speaker 1: The modern view of pirates. All right, mego.
Speaker 3: So one of the more interesting topics that I looked
Speaker 3: into this week were the big gold ear rings that
Speaker 3: pirates wore. And the question here wasn't whether or not
Speaker 3: pirates really wore them. I think, you know, most historians
Speaker 3: agree that many of them did. But why did they
Speaker 3: wear them?
Speaker 2: So the story I'd always heard is that the earrings
Speaker 2: were away for pirates to pay for their burials, like
Speaker 2: if a pirate happened to die on land instead of
Speaker 2: at sea, the gold from their earrings could cover the costs,
Speaker 2: and obviously, even for a pirate, that would be preferable
Speaker 2: to just being put in this mass grave or left
Speaker 2: out for the crows to eat.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean, there is some evidence that supports this idea.
Speaker 3: But those earrings and other kinds of jewelry weren't just
Speaker 3: a failsafe for pirate burial. I mean they were also
Speaker 3: symbols of rebellion against the seventeenth and eighteenth century laws
Speaker 3: that we're really meant to control what people could wear
Speaker 3: or do in their private lives. So in England, just
Speaker 3: for example, men weren't allowed to wear jewelry, and certain
Speaker 3: colors were off limits for commoners to wear, and if
Speaker 3: somebody didn't conform to those rules, they could be heavily
Speaker 3: fined or even imprisoned. So, as this pirate historian, Gail
Speaker 3: Cellinger put it, these so called sumptuary laws were quote
Speaker 3: a legal way for the ruling class to separate themselves
Speaker 3: from commoners by regulating what they wore, what they could drink,
Speaker 3: and where they could live.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, it is easy to see how none
Speaker 2: of that would sit very well with pirates. Who are
Speaker 2: obviously big fans of flouting the law whenever possible.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: But for full disclosure, some historians do question how widespread
Speaker 3: the practice of dressing flamboyantly and wearing ear rings really was,
Speaker 3: and many of them would argue that the bandanas and
Speaker 3: the sashes and ear rings that we usually picture pirates
Speaker 3: wearing actually come from more like these series of drawings
Speaker 3: in children's books, and that those depictions had really been
Speaker 3: based on Spanish bandits, not pirates. But you know, as
Speaker 3: was most things we've talked about today, there's not a
Speaker 3: ton of evidence in either direction, though, so it's likely
Speaker 3: that at least a few pirates did dress this way.
Speaker 2: Well, and that kind of in your face fashion sense
Speaker 2: would also fit into what we do know about pirates backgrounds.
Speaker 2: Most of them actually started out as crew members aboard
Speaker 2: the respective countries merchant marines or naval ships before turning
Speaker 2: to a life of piracy, and from what I've read,
Speaker 2: life aboard those ships was often rougher and actually more
Speaker 2: tyrannical than it was on actual pirate ships. Like on
Speaker 2: a merchant ship, for instance, crew members lived in these
Speaker 2: squalid conditions. They were subject to a ton of rules
Speaker 2: that were just as strict, if not stricter, than those
Speaker 2: on land and merchant marines and naval captains. They had
Speaker 2: the final say on everything that happened on their ships,
Speaker 2: which left many crew members feeling oppressed and really voiceless
Speaker 2: as a result.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's really no wonder that so many of
Speaker 3: them would jump ship and sign on as pirates instead,
Speaker 3: because you know, despite their reputation, pirates weren't anarchic or
Speaker 3: lawless when dealing with one another. I mean, their ranks
Speaker 3: were composed of these societal outsiders and outcasts, you know,
Speaker 3: that's definitely true, But they weren't so jaded as to
Speaker 3: think that social orders of any sort were automatically a
Speaker 3: bad thing. They just needed to find a better or
Speaker 3: what they saw as a more fair system, So onboard
Speaker 3: pirate ships, that's exactly what they did. I mean, the
Speaker 3: pirates recognized that in order to prevent infighting and to
Speaker 3: be able to keep morale high during their months at sea,
Speaker 3: they needed to do things a little bit more democratically,
Speaker 3: and so to that end, pirate captains took a vote
Speaker 3: on just about everything, I mean, from where to go,
Speaker 3: what to steal, how to deal with prisoners. So really,
Speaker 3: the only time that the captain took complete control was
Speaker 3: during a battle, and you know that's for obvious reasons.
Speaker 3: That's not a time when it would be smart to
Speaker 3: pause and take a vote.
Speaker 2: I love this idea that like deciding what the steal
Speaker 2: should be a democratic vote.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, it's so fun.
Speaker 2: But you know, obviously there were more perks to pirate
Speaker 2: democracy than just saying you know where the ship would
Speaker 2: go or what you're going to steal. If you listen
Speaker 2: to this breakdown I found from Robert Curson. He's this
Speaker 2: pirate historian and author of the book Pirate Hunters. It's
Speaker 2: pretty great. So so here's what he says. Quote, the
Speaker 2: captain's vote didn't count any more than the lowliest deckhands.
Speaker 2: If they wanted to throw the captain out, they could
Speaker 2: dismiss him or lower his rank. They could maroon him
Speaker 2: on an island or dump him into the sea, all
Speaker 2: by vote. That was true. Even if a captain owned
Speaker 2: his own ship, they had a constitution and even compensation
Speaker 2: schemes for injuries. The captain almost never earned more than
Speaker 2: two or three times the way to the lowliest deckhand.
Speaker 2: Think about how that must have struck a guy who's
Speaker 2: come from a tyrannical rule on a merchant ship where
Speaker 2: the hours were terrible and the conditions even worse. He
Speaker 2: gets on a pirate ship and suddenly he has a
Speaker 2: real say in what they're doing. I mean, it sounds
Speaker 2: kind of amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty weird to think about, but you know,
Speaker 3: some of these pirates were practicing democracy nearly a century
Speaker 3: before it took root in America and in France. And
Speaker 3: you know those constitutions you mentioned were even written down
Speaker 3: in some cases. And I was looking for some examples
Speaker 3: of this, and one of them I was reading about
Speaker 3: it was from one of the most prolific pirates of
Speaker 3: this Golden Age, and his name.
Speaker 1: Was black Bart Roberts.
Speaker 3: Now, he managed to overtake more than four hundred ships
Speaker 3: during his many years at sea, which obviously is no
Speaker 3: small feat. But I think what I found most impressive
Speaker 3: about his career was this set of bylaws that he
Speaker 3: and a crew member drafted back in seventeen twenty two. Now,
Speaker 3: this included some pretty progressive rules that you might not expect,
Speaker 3: you know, from a pirate ship. But you know, take
Speaker 3: this worker's compensation plan that you had mentioned.
Speaker 1: According to the.
Speaker 3: Bylaws, quote, every man who shall become a cripple or
Speaker 3: lose a limb in the service shall have eight hundred
Speaker 3: pieces of eight from the common stock, and for lesser
Speaker 3: hurts proportionately.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's kind of amazing that they got that
Speaker 2: sort of security from a pirate job, right, There's no
Speaker 2: wonder so many people went into piracy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, to stick with Blackbart's bylaws for just
Speaker 3: a second here. The other thing I think I was
Speaker 3: struck by was the picture they painted of life aboard
Speaker 3: his ship, because you know, we tend to think of
Speaker 3: pirates as this rowdy bunch up all hours of the night,
Speaker 3: drinking and gambling. Of course, that's how things were when
Speaker 3: the pirates came to port, but according to these bylaws,
Speaker 3: it was a very different story when they were at sea.
Speaker 1: So just listen to this from it as well.
Speaker 3: It says none shall gain for money either with dice
Speaker 3: or cards, and the lights and candles shall be put
Speaker 3: out at eight at night, and if any of the
Speaker 3: crew desire to drink after that hour, they shall sit
Speaker 3: upon the open deck without lights.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's pretty amazing, and that there's this curfew
Speaker 2: on a pirate ship, Like, that's not something I wouldn't
Speaker 2: expected exactly. And at the same time, you know there's
Speaker 2: no gambling. I mean, I guess if the goal is
Speaker 2: to form some sort of piece, those dudes sound like
Speaker 2: really smart moves. And you know, since we're talking about
Speaker 2: how shockingly judicious pirates could be, I do want to
Speaker 2: mention another famous pirate that fits that bill, and that's Blackbeard.
Speaker 2: So he and his cohorts were based in the Bahamas
Speaker 2: and they were only active for around seven years or so.
Speaker 2: But this period from seventeen thirteen to seventeen twenty was
Speaker 2: a super eventful one. In fact, there's some historians that
Speaker 2: argue that the term Golden Asia piracy should really only
Speaker 2: be applied to those seven years. In that seven year span,
Speaker 2: so that kind of gives you an idea of how
Speaker 2: successful black Beard and the other islander pirates were. By
Speaker 2: seventeen seventeen, the pirates had actually thrown the commercial trade
Speaker 2: of three separate empires into total disarray, and they even
Speaker 2: managed to beat back the Royal Navy's warships. I mean,
Speaker 2: whether you'd love them or hate them, these pirates really
Speaker 2: knew how to shake things up.
Speaker 3: That's to put it mildly, I guess, but I mean,
Speaker 3: what was Blackbeard's deal anyway, Like, was he one of
Speaker 3: those legitimate sailors who went rogue or had he always
Speaker 3: been more of a proper pirate?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, he and most of the other pirates from
Speaker 2: the Bahamas start out on merchant and naval and in
Speaker 2: a way, their actions as pirates were kind of this
Speaker 2: revolt and revenge against their former bosses. And this is
Speaker 2: kind of a tangent, but one of Blackbeard's contemporaries was
Speaker 2: this guy named Captain Bellamy, and his crew especially loved
Speaker 2: this new role that they were taking on. Like the
Speaker 2: crew actually called themselves Robin Hood's Men, and Bellamy once
Speaker 2: explained to a captive quote they vilify as the scoundrels
Speaker 2: do when there is only this difference. They rob the
Speaker 2: poor under the cover of law, and we plunder the
Speaker 2: rich under the cover of our own courage.
Speaker 3: I want to make sure we don't go too far
Speaker 3: here and paint pirates is more heroic than they really were.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're kind of saying Blackbeard was a level
Speaker 3: headed guy, or that his actions were maybe justified in
Speaker 3: some way, at least in his own mind, But how
Speaker 3: does that square with his reputation as being really a
Speaker 3: cruel and fearsome pirate. I mean he was a pretty
Speaker 3: violent guy, right well.
Speaker 2: I mean yes and no. So pirates on the Hole
Speaker 2: did some pretty terrible things, and there's no question about that.
Speaker 2: They invaded, they pillaged ships and colonies, they ransom hostages,
Speaker 2: and pretty much ignored any laws but the ones they
Speaker 2: made up for themselves at sea. But in a lot
Speaker 2: of cases, including black Beards, that brutality was exaggerated. You know,
Speaker 2: it was mostly by the imperial authorities on land and
Speaker 2: the newspapers that they held sway over And if you
Speaker 2: think about it, nearly every bit of pop culture associated
Speaker 2: with pirates, including Treasure Island, is derived from those stories,
Speaker 2: and it's inspired by Blackbeard and these other Bahamas pirates.
Speaker 2: So that means a lot of our understanding of what
Speaker 2: pirates did is skewed as well, since most of it
Speaker 2: can be traced back to these somewhat embellished accounts.
Speaker 3: So you're saying Blackbeard wasn't as terrifying and cutthroat as
Speaker 3: we might think.
Speaker 2: Exactly, And there are actually dozens of eyewitness accounts of
Speaker 2: Blackbeard's victims and with the exception of his final bloody
Speaker 2: showdown with the Royal Navy, not a single one of
Speaker 2: them mentions the pirate captain actually killing anyone. And if
Speaker 2: that's kind of hard to swallow it, it's probably because
Speaker 2: black Beard and self purpose cultivated his image as this
Speaker 2: fearsome force to be reckoned with. Like if you listen
Speaker 2: to this description. I found this at the Smithsonian, but
Speaker 2: you'll see what I mean. Quote Blackbeard wore a silk
Speaker 2: sling over his shoulders, on which there were three braces
Speaker 2: of pistols hanging in holsters like bandoliers. Under his hat,
Speaker 2: he tied lit fuses, dangling some of them down the
Speaker 2: sides of his face so as to surround it with
Speaker 2: a halo of smoke and fire, making him look more
Speaker 2: frightful than a fury from hell. Merchant crews would take
Speaker 2: one look at this apparition and the army of wild
Speaker 2: men around him, bearing cutlasses, muskets, and primitive hand grenades,
Speaker 2: and invariably surrender without firing a shot. So I guess
Speaker 2: it was all for show then, like kind of an
Speaker 2: intimidation tactic, right, And I mean, some pirates really did
Speaker 2: perform the horrible acts we read about like dragging someone
Speaker 2: who crossed them beneath their ship, but that wasn't their
Speaker 2: first choice, Like, they mostly wanted to just frighten people
Speaker 2: into giving up without a fight. And that's actually what
Speaker 2: the whole pirate flag was about. Like when a black
Speaker 2: flag was hoisted, it is a message that another ship
Speaker 2: should prepare to be boarded and pillaged, but also that
Speaker 2: they wouldn't come to harm so long as they cooperated. Meanwhile,
Speaker 2: you've got like a red flag, which was a much
Speaker 2: more rare but a completely different story, and that meant
Speaker 2: the pirates had come for blood. But this desire for
Speaker 2: nonviolent resolution really makes a lot of sense when you
Speaker 2: think about how practical pirates were in general. I mean,
Speaker 2: like why slaughter your captives when you could just ransom
Speaker 2: them for money or put them to work in your
Speaker 2: own crew.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's just just business one oh one. Right, So,
Speaker 3: since we're on the subject of surprising pirate trades, we
Speaker 3: should probably talk about how egalitarian pirates actually were, because
Speaker 3: you know, not only did they welcome those of low
Speaker 3: economic or social standing into their crews, but they also
Speaker 3: made room for folks who were frequent targets of discrimination
Speaker 3: on land. And that includes Africans, European Jews, and women.
Speaker 3: But before we get into that, let's take one more
Speaker 3: quick break.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, so you mentioned before the break that pirating
Speaker 2: was sort of an equal opportunity profession, and that makes
Speaker 2: sense when you think about it, because if you're on
Speaker 2: the run from the Royal Navy or whatever, the race
Speaker 2: or gender of your crewmates isn't going to be a
Speaker 2: top priority. And for the most part, pirates welcomed all comers,
Speaker 2: and that have to be pretty enticing for people who
Speaker 2: felt repressed or restricted on land. I'm guessing right, like,
Speaker 2: what did they have to lose?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense, and I do think a great
Speaker 3: example of that mentality are the bands of Jewish pirates
Speaker 3: that took to the open Ocean during the early seventeen hundreds.
Speaker 3: That this is honestly something I'd never heard about before
Speaker 3: this week, And apparently historians are still piecing together their
Speaker 3: history as well, like I was reading that just in
Speaker 3: this past decade, several graveyards were found in the Caribbean,
Speaker 3: and many of the tombstone there feature Hebrew writing and
Speaker 3: stars of David right alongside those iconic skull and crossbones symbols.
Speaker 2: I mean, that is pretty wild. So I hadn't heard
Speaker 2: about this either, But what made so many Jewish people
Speaker 2: go pirate?
Speaker 3: Well, I guess the seeds of it were actually planted
Speaker 3: in the very same month that Columbus set sail back
Speaker 3: in fourteen ninety two. So after sending Columbus on his way,
Speaker 3: the King and Queen of Spain ordered the expulsion of
Speaker 3: all Jews and Muslims from the country. Now, Portugal did
Speaker 3: the same thing just a few years later. So these
Speaker 3: Spanish Portuguese Jews set out to find new homes, and
Speaker 3: many of them wound up settling on Caribbean islands. And
Speaker 3: in fact, by the seventeen twenties, when Jewish pirates first
Speaker 3: set sail, an estimated twenty percent of Kingston, Jamaica's population
Speaker 3: was descended from Jewish exiles.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So a few.
Speaker 3: Of these Jews started captaining their own pirate ships and
Speaker 3: christening them with names like Queen Esther and the Shield
Speaker 3: of Abraham. And for the most part, these Jewish pirates
Speaker 3: would exclusively target Spanish and Portuguese ships, not surprisingly because
Speaker 3: this was really seen his payback for those generations of
Speaker 3: unjust treatment.
Speaker 2: I mean, This is fascinating. So it sounds like we're
Speaker 2: still uncovering the full history of Jewish pirates. But I
Speaker 2: am curious, are there any notorious ones we should know about, Like, like,
Speaker 2: who's the Blackbeard of Jewish pirates?
Speaker 3: You know, I'm not sure about that exactly, but I
Speaker 3: think my favorite was probably Schmool Pilachi, who supposedly joined
Speaker 3: in a number of pirate raids against the Dutch and
Speaker 3: Spanish ships.
Speaker 1: But here's the wild thing about Polacci. He was actually
Speaker 1: a rabbi.
Speaker 2: Wait, he was a rabbi pirate. I feel like that's
Speaker 2: kind of an oxymoron, right.
Speaker 1: Well apparently not.
Speaker 3: I mean, by most accounts, Polachi was also pretty pious.
Speaker 3: So not only did he insist that his crew donate
Speaker 3: a tenth of their treasure to charity, he also made
Speaker 3: sure they all kept kosher during their voyages.
Speaker 2: That's amazing. So no shellfish. But uh, you know, we're
Speaker 2: talking about how piracy was this drastic kind of escape
Speaker 2: for repressed people, and I think another great example of
Speaker 2: that are the many women who built new lives for
Speaker 2: themselves at sea. So most of them earned their keep
Speaker 2: as servants or cooks or prostitutes, but a few also
Speaker 2: found work as merchant, sailors, naval officers, and even pirates.
Speaker 2: For instance, there's this Irish pirate named Grace O'Malley and
Speaker 2: in the sixteenth century she became one of the few
Speaker 2: female pirates to captain her own ship, and she made
Speaker 2: a pretty frightening name for herself all along the coast
Speaker 2: of Ireland. Like she had a bunch of really intense
Speaker 2: scars on her face, which he claimed were from being
Speaker 2: attacked by an eagle. And if that wasn't badass enough,
Speaker 2: she also reportedly gave birth to her youngest son while
Speaker 2: aboard her ship and then proceeded to fight off invaders
Speaker 2: with her baby in one hand and a sword in
Speaker 2: the other.
Speaker 1: Is that unround?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's pretty impressive and definitely something Blackbeard can't claim
Speaker 3: to have done. But yeah, I think for my money,
Speaker 3: the undisputed queen of female pirates and honestly maybe just
Speaker 3: pirates in general has got to be Captain Ching Shew.
Speaker 3: In the early nineteenth century, she spent her youth working
Speaker 3: as a courtison on a floating brothel in Canton, China. Now,
Speaker 3: during this time she made a name for herself as
Speaker 3: this really shrewd business woman, and apparently she had a
Speaker 3: knack for blackmail and would often use the secrets that
Speaker 3: she'd heard as a prostitute. And she would do this
Speaker 3: in order to control her wealthy and influential clients. So,
Speaker 3: as you might imagine, this was a pretty attractive skill
Speaker 3: to a pirate, which is how she came to marry
Speaker 3: this other very famous pirate, one of the South China Sea,
Speaker 3: and his name was ching I Sao. And this guy
Speaker 3: was no slouch when it came to pirrating and by
Speaker 3: the time he married the twenty six year old ching
Speaker 3: She this was in I think eighteen oh one, Chang
Speaker 3: had already united a bunch of rival pirate gangs into
Speaker 3: what he called the Red Flag Fleet.
Speaker 2: So did Chingshi have any power herself or was she
Speaker 2: kind of just this figurehead.
Speaker 3: No, she was definitely a very active participant in her
Speaker 3: husband's inner prize. In fact, you know, many of these
Speaker 3: stories report that she actually demanded equal control of the
Speaker 3: fleet as a condition of their marriage, and her role
Speaker 3: really only grew as time went on. So it was
Speaker 3: only six years into their marriage that Chang passed away suddenly.
Speaker 3: And this was at the age of forty two and
Speaker 3: a few weeks later, Chang She took her husband's place
Speaker 3: as the leader of the Red flag fleet.
Speaker 2: Which to me sounds a little suspicious, like our husband
Speaker 2: suddenly dies. But do we know how big that fleet
Speaker 2: was that she inherited.
Speaker 3: Well, we don't know how many ships are men she
Speaker 3: inherited from her husband, but we do have a pretty
Speaker 3: good estimate of the size of her fleet a few
Speaker 3: years after she took over, and that's because in eighteen
Speaker 3: oh nine, her forces captured an East India Company employee
Speaker 3: named Richard Glasspool. Now, after he was released a few
Speaker 3: months later, he writes this account of his experience, and
Speaker 3: it included this detailed estimate of Chang She's forces. So,
Speaker 3: according to him, there were roughly eighty thousand pirates under
Speaker 3: her command and over eighteen hundred ships in her fleet.
Speaker 3: And so to give you an idea of just how
Speaker 3: vast her entourage was, consider that Blackbeard himself commanded only
Speaker 3: four ships and three hundred pirates, and that was at
Speaker 3: his peak.
Speaker 2: I mean, those numbers really are insane, like eighty thousand
Speaker 2: pirates and eighteen hundred ships, Like I I don't know
Speaker 2: how you could actually keep that many pirates in check.
Speaker 3: Well changed she borrowed from other pirates playbooks in that regard,
Speaker 3: because once she took command, she quickly instituted this strict
Speaker 3: code of laws for all of her men to follow,
Speaker 3: and strict really is the key word here. And just
Speaker 3: as an example, if any pirate disobeyed a superior's orders
Speaker 3: or started giving orders of their own, they were immediately
Speaker 3: beheaded right on the spot. And you know, she had
Speaker 3: some really specific rules about female captives that you probably
Speaker 3: won't find in any other pirate codes. Like there was
Speaker 3: this one rule that said if a pirate took a
Speaker 3: female prisoner for his wife, he had to be faithful
Speaker 3: to her and couldn't sleep around.
Speaker 2: That's really interesting. But you know, I am still kind
Speaker 2: of hung up on the sheer size of her operation.
Speaker 2: I mean, her fleet probably like you could see it
Speaker 2: rivaling some other nations entire armed forces from that time.
Speaker 1: I mean probably so.
Speaker 3: In fact, under Ching She's command, the Red Flag Fleet
Speaker 3: fought off not only the Chinese military, but the East
Speaker 3: India Company, the Portuguese Navy, and you know, they were
Speaker 3: undefeated for three full years until Ching she finally retired
Speaker 3: altogether back in eighteen ten.
Speaker 2: Wait, so she retired like I didn't even know pirates
Speaker 2: could do that.
Speaker 3: I mean, of course, not many of them did, and
Speaker 3: even fewer, if any, retired in a way that Ching
Speaker 3: She did. And you know, you look back at her retirement,
Speaker 3: it was actually part of a deal that she made
Speaker 3: with the Chinese government. And you know, after years of defeat,
Speaker 3: the officials were just desperate to get Ching She out
Speaker 3: of the spotlight by any means necessary, and so they
Speaker 3: extended this offer to her, wherein she and her forces
Speaker 3: would surrender and go their separate ways. And this was
Speaker 3: in return for amnesty and full pensions for every single
Speaker 3: member of the crew.
Speaker 2: Wait, all eighty thousand of them got pensions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't that wild?
Speaker 3: So she and her forces were seen as such a
Speaker 3: big threat that the Chinese government basically paid them all
Speaker 3: to stop being pirates. I mean, it was definitely a
Speaker 3: one of a kind deal, at least as far as
Speaker 3: I can tell.
Speaker 2: That is amazing, And you know, I know we're talking
Speaker 2: about criminals here, but I have to say it is
Speaker 2: pretty cool that not only were their female pirates, but
Speaker 2: kind of the most badass pirates of them all tend
Speaker 2: to be women here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's Actually, this great quote that I wanted
Speaker 3: to read from a pirate historian and the author of
Speaker 3: a book called Pirate Women. So her name is Laura
Speaker 3: Silk Duncomb, and here she's talking about that attraction to
Speaker 3: pirrating and the freedom it entailed that we mentioned earlier.
Speaker 3: And while she's talking specifically in this case about female pirates,
Speaker 3: I really think this could have applied to almost all
Speaker 3: the ones that we've talked about today. So here's what
Speaker 3: she says. All of these pirates had ships that were
Speaker 3: very different and methods that were very different, but I
Speaker 3: think they share the desire to control their own fates,
Speaker 3: and the desire for freedom from convention would unite all
Speaker 3: these women. Their hopes to escape the normal and be
Speaker 3: a part of something adventurous would tie all these women together.
Speaker 3: And we all share that desire for adventure, not the
Speaker 3: desire for slitting throats or plundering the high seas. But
Speaker 3: one can empathize with the desire to have a say
Speaker 3: in how their life goes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do feel like people want to have a
Speaker 2: say in how their life goes, and I like that.
Speaker 2: But how about we end on that note and start
Speaker 2: the fact off. So the Pittsburgh Pirates used to go
Speaker 2: by a totally different name, the Pittsburgh Alleghenies, you know,
Speaker 2: named after the Mountain Range. But when they poasted the
Speaker 2: second basement from the Philadelphia Athletics in the eighteen eighties,
Speaker 2: Philadelphia newspapers were outraged. They called it a theft, and
Speaker 2: they referred to the team as a bunch of pirates,
Speaker 2: and the name stuck. That's how they got the name.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: One of my favorite pirates who isn't often talked about
Speaker 3: these days is Jean Lafoote, who was a barefoot pirate
Speaker 3: who used to be the nemesis of Captain Crunch. So
Speaker 3: now I don't know the full story behind this rivalry. Apparently,
Speaker 3: Captain Horatio P. Crunch was created by an ad firm,
Speaker 3: and this was in response to a survey that claimed
Speaker 3: kids hated soggy cereal. I love that they had to
Speaker 3: do a survey to find out that people don't like
Speaker 3: soggi cereal. But because the cereal was so crunchy, the
Speaker 3: pirates wanted it anyway. The Captain was so popular and
Speaker 3: did such a good job of fighting off lafoot that
Speaker 3: there was once a public movement to promote him to
Speaker 3: the rank of admiral, but Quaker Oaths was not convinced,
Speaker 3: and he's been overlooked now for I don't know several decades.
Speaker 2: Yeah, admiral crunches in a cereal, I'd pick off this scenreals, right.
Speaker 2: So have you ever heard of Pirate Joe's in Vancouver?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't think so.
Speaker 2: So it's this store that was recently shut down. But basically,
Speaker 2: this guy in Canada would drive down to Trader Joe's
Speaker 2: groceries in the US because there are no Trader Joe's
Speaker 2: stores in Canada. He'd buy a ton of stuff in
Speaker 2: bulk and then sneak it back up and sell it
Speaker 2: at a higher cost. He had actually been banned from
Speaker 2: Trader Joe's stores for doing this, so sometimes he'd wear
Speaker 2: wigs or dresses or fake mustaches and pinstripe suits. It
Speaker 2: got really elaborate. Sometimes he'd even recruit day laborers to
Speaker 2: help him shop and pay at the register like it
Speaker 2: was crazy. And when Trader Joe's took him to court
Speaker 2: in twenty sixteen, they did this in the US, they
Speaker 2: couldn't prove that he was actually hurting their business, so
Speaker 2: he kind of got to keep doing it for a while,
Speaker 2: and then finally Trader Joe's brought another court battle. During
Speaker 2: the last court battle, he took the p off his
Speaker 2: sign to change it from Pirate Joe's to Irate Joe's
Speaker 2: and when he finally settled the case, the shop closed
Speaker 2: down in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 3: All right, well, something equally ridiculous here. We've talked about
Speaker 3: the Pastafarian religion before in the Church of the Flying
Speaker 3: Spaghetti Monster, so for anybody who doesn't know, it was
Speaker 3: this satirical religion that was invented really in response to
Speaker 3: religious fundamentalists, and the main claim is that a flying
Speaker 3: spaghetti monster is just as likely as any other type
Speaker 3: of God, so that's the one they chose to worship.
Speaker 3: But for some reason, the very first Pastafarian wedding also
Speaker 3: had a pirate connection to it. Now, the event took
Speaker 3: place in New Zealand. This was just a couple of
Speaker 3: years ago, and the bride and groom were head to
Speaker 3: toe in pirate gear and everyone there wore.
Speaker 1: Eyepatches of course.
Speaker 3: Right now, that said, there was also this nod to
Speaker 3: pasta and so the officiant wore a colander on her head,
Speaker 3: which is the official headdress of the church. The couple
Speaker 3: exchanged rings of pasta, and in their vows they agreed
Speaker 3: to always add when boiling spaghetti.
Speaker 1: Very romantic.
Speaker 2: So when Julius Caesar was twenty five years old, he
Speaker 2: was kidnapped by pirates, and when the pirates asked for
Speaker 2: a ransom of twenty talents of silver, he just laughed
Speaker 2: in their faces and told them to up it to
Speaker 2: fifty because he was worth so much more than that.
Speaker 2: So that's actually the part of the story i'd heard before.
Speaker 2: But the part I didn't know was that he was
Speaker 2: stuck on the ship for thirty eight days, and during
Speaker 2: that time he was not a good hostage. He was
Speaker 2: just completely unintimidated by these pirates. Not only did he
Speaker 2: refuse to coward to them, he actually treated them like
Speaker 2: they were his servants. He'd write poetry and then forced
Speaker 2: them to listen to it. When when he slept he
Speaker 2: demanded they stopped talking, and instead of acting like a prisoner,
Speaker 2: he just kind of like stomped around doing what he
Speaker 2: wanted to do, and they kind of gave him respect
Speaker 2: for it. Of course, while he did act chummy with
Speaker 2: them the whole time, he let them know that they
Speaker 2: should watch out. And when he was finally freed, he
Speaker 2: of course rounded up a small fleet, found his way
Speaker 2: back to them, took back as fifty talents, took the
Speaker 2: rest of their possessions as well, and then eventually had
Speaker 2: them killed, which you know, is very Julius Caesar of him.
Speaker 1: That is so Julius Caesar of him.
Speaker 3: But all right, well, one of the best ways to
Speaker 3: fight off modern pirates might just be pop music, and
Speaker 3: in particular the music of Britney Spears. I was look
Speaker 3: at this old Guardian article from twenty thirteen and Britney
Speaker 3: Spears emerged as this unlikely figurehead and a fight against
Speaker 3: Somali pirates. And that's because British naval officers started blasting
Speaker 3: the songs Oops, I did it again and Baby one
Speaker 3: more time at them, and strangely the tactic proved more
Speaker 3: intimidating than guns and harpoons, apparently because it's one naval
Speaker 3: officer put it quote her songs were chosen by the
Speaker 3: security team because they thought the pirates would hate them
Speaker 3: the most. These guys can't stand Western culture or music,
Speaker 3: making Brittany hits perfect And as soon as the pirates
Speaker 3: get a blast of Brittany, they move on as quickly
Speaker 3: as they can.
Speaker 2: So what I love about that story too, is like
Speaker 2: you're talking about reporting from twenty thirteen, and those songs
Speaker 2: I feel like came out in like two thousand and
Speaker 2: two thousand and one sometime around then. Like they didn't
Speaker 2: just like pick the latest pop songs. They went back
Speaker 2: and specifically chose Brittany to scare.
Speaker 1: Out fire and very specific.
Speaker 3: They're still just as powerful today, so I'd be curious
Speaker 3: that if they go back and use them again.
Speaker 2: Well, I do feel like you have to get the
Speaker 2: trophy for that.
Speaker 3: I saved that one especially for last, just for that fact.
Speaker 3: I knew i'd get this one locked up. Well, I'm
Speaker 3: sure there are other great facts that we have not
Speaker 3: mentioned today about pirates, and we'd love to hear those
Speaker 3: from you guys. As always, you can always email us
Speaker 3: part Time Genius at HowStuffWorks dot com or hit us
Speaker 3: up on Facebook or Twitter. But from Tristan, Gabe, Mango
Speaker 3: and me, thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 1: Thanks again for listening.
Speaker 3: Part Time Genius is a production of How Stuff and
Speaker 3: wouldn't be possible without several brilliant people who do the
Speaker 3: important things we couldn't even begin to understand.
Speaker 2: Christa McNeil does the editing thing.
Speaker 3: Noel Brown made the theme song and does the mixy
Speaker 3: mixy sound thing.
Speaker 2: Jerry Roland does the exact producer thing.
Speaker 3: Gabe Bluesier is our lead researcher, with support from the
Speaker 3: Research Army including Austin Thompson, Nolan Brown and Lucas Adams
Speaker 3: and Eves.
Speaker 2: Jeff Cook gets the show to your ears. Good job, Eves.
Speaker 3: If you like what you heard, we hope you'll subscribe,
Speaker 3: And if you really really like what you've heard.
Speaker 1: Maybe you could leave a good review for us.
Speaker 2: Do we forget Jason?
Speaker 1: Jason who