Speaker 1: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
Speaker 1: Decision Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty.
Speaker 1: You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions. Thanks
Speaker 2: for listening to another episode of Decisions Decisions. I have
Speaker 2: a surprise for you, throwing a free event this Thursday,
Speaker 2: February twenty seventh, and guess what. It's free and everybody
Speaker 2: can join because it's virtual. From six pm Eastern to
Speaker 2: eight pm Eastern three pm Pacific Standard, there is going
Speaker 2: to be a virtual screening of Risky. It's a dinner
Speaker 2: conversation that we hosted in Chicago, and you've probably heard
Speaker 2: me talk about how I've been doing them over the
Speaker 2: past few years in different cities. But we're going to
Speaker 2: have a screening of the event we did, and it's
Speaker 2: going to be followed by a live Q and A
Speaker 2: with me and my girl Koya.
Speaker 1: I've been hosting these dinners.
Speaker 2: For a while with her, and I'm telling you it
Speaker 2: is such an amazing experience to sit with black women
Speaker 2: and addressing risky sexual behaviors and the stigmas that contribute
Speaker 2: to the disproportion of HIV rates amongst black women.
Speaker 1: Listen.
Speaker 2: I know it's not that sexy to talk about stuff
Speaker 2: like this, but you will really enjoy this conversation.
Speaker 1: It's so educational and it's girl time with me. Hello.
Speaker 2: So get your ticket for free at Risky Dinnerconvo dot
Speaker 2: com and follow Risky on ig. At Risky Dinner Convo
Speaker 2: they'll be tagged on a page and then description of
Speaker 2: this episode.
Speaker 1: See you this Thursday.
Speaker 2: All right then alright? Then alright then alright then welcome
Speaker 2: to Decisions. This is all what I don't know.
Speaker 3: Listen, rights, what action was that?
Speaker 1: Listen? The thing is as long as you just roll
Speaker 1: your rs. It's an accent.
Speaker 2: I feel like you wanted to read that at Italian
Speaker 2: French it was very much and eat tally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I am not the best with accents. Okay, we need
Speaker 2: to get your global we need to what's crazy. I'm
Speaker 2: literally in Atlanta and I'm like, oh, y'all have accents
Speaker 2: down here. Oh I don't know what y'all are saying. Bitch,
Speaker 2: you do six months outro don't do that. I don't
Speaker 2: be on this podcast like we will be adding subtitles.
Speaker 1: I ain't go oh yeah, I have it, it might
Speaker 1: have it.
Speaker 2: I have noticed a little twang, a little twang, but no, y'all.
Speaker 2: Welcome to another episode, y'all. I'm Mandy Bee Easy and
Speaker 2: I know you're so happy that it's Jess Stats. I
Speaker 2: mean yeah, I mean, but we've also had some really
Speaker 2: good guests coming on. I mean we've actually like started
Speaker 2: decisions decisions out with a lot of our friends. Like
Speaker 2: we just was like, hey, oh, pull up a lot
Speaker 2: of people. We've worked with a lot of people that
Speaker 2: we know personally.
Speaker 1: So I'm fucking with it.
Speaker 2: So sorry Alex. By the way, if y'all are watching
Speaker 2: on YouTube, first seven minutes, bleep out our curse words,
Speaker 2: get over it.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah you're here.
Speaker 2: Buck shit, damn you will hear pussy funck shit bit So,
Speaker 2: speaking of which, there was recently a guest that had
Speaker 2: Tourette's come into the studio and yea to hit me
Speaker 2: and was like, this is something I've never seen. They
Speaker 2: never watched this big lowmel jiglove maybe in person. I've
Speaker 2: never had movie so such a good movie. She basically said,
Speaker 2: the ticks were hold on, let me type in tics
Speaker 2: on my phone and tell you what these ticks were.
Speaker 1: Sorry again for the bleeps, bitch dick.
Speaker 2: Tippy tippy, that wiener tippy tapped, that rote history, my
Speaker 2: flabber has been gassed BBC.
Speaker 1: That's a big black cock. And then she wrote at last, but.
Speaker 2: Not least, bitch, asshole and the wait, these were ticks
Speaker 2: that just were burst burst it out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie that. Those are really cool ticks.
Speaker 1: She said she was on a podcast.
Speaker 2: I don't know the name of it, but the person
Speaker 2: that hosts it as Amanda Hirsh tourette syndrome, and they
Speaker 2: never gave Tianna heads up, so she says she was
Speaker 2: a dust in the camera and the girls like sticking
Speaker 2: up a middle finger and fuck you bitch. She said,
Speaker 2: I was like, I know she ain't talking to me,
Speaker 2: so I'm really curious though, like what that episode sounds
Speaker 2: like and had that conversation goes because keep in mind,
Speaker 2: with tourettes, these are just blurted out, so it can
Speaker 2: be distracting for the person you're trying to speak to.
Speaker 1: If a man is.
Speaker 2: Getting it right from behind, I'm trying now to make
Speaker 2: it nice and he.
Speaker 1: Screams out Brian Go.
Speaker 2: I don't know, like if I could have sex with
Speaker 2: someone who is yelling out bitch, ass hole and rotisseri,
Speaker 2: Jason Momoa got tourettes, hypothetical.
Speaker 1: Letting her, I'm gonna turn the TV up. You right?
Speaker 1: You want that chicken pussy? No, no, no, no, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. I'm just gonna have the music playing a lot.
Speaker 2: Okay, if Jason Momoa has tourettes and just bursts out,
Speaker 2: like burst out any of those weird things, okay, hurt
Speaker 2: you know. I don't know if anybody else does this,
Speaker 2: but sometimes when we're about to get drunk, I'd be like,
Speaker 2: you know, it's like if that was a word, would
Speaker 2: you love me? So we'd be doing shit like Okay,
Speaker 2: what if I couldn't do this? What if I couldn't
Speaker 2: do that? What if I hunch back?
Speaker 1: Like we just to He's like, since we already locked in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like if you were a worm, I just
Speaker 2: why are you asking a man if he would be
Speaker 2: into beat reality? I just want to know about that
Speaker 2: reality doing dumb shit. That's what you do when you
Speaker 2: love girl. I'm not the funk going on my head
Speaker 2: is fuck ump.
Speaker 1: If I was a worm, would you be with me?
Speaker 3: Andy?
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something about being in love if
Speaker 2: you forgot how you was that kind?
Speaker 1: No, I'm not gonna lie. I've never asked that.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 2: If I was a worm, would you still a love man?
Speaker 2: I mean I'm exaggerating here, but okay, she was like,
Speaker 2: dumb ship? What was What was his reaction if I
Speaker 2: didn't ask him that? But I'm thinking like something like
Speaker 2: super silly, Like I'll just be looking with the googly
Speaker 2: eyes like okay, I didn't maybe right after I came
Speaker 2: if I, yeah, I just do a thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I'll ask.
Speaker 2: About an extra toe or an extra finger, or like
Speaker 2: because my mama white, I'd be like, what if I
Speaker 2: didn't have lips? What if I was like I sucked
Speaker 2: my mouth and his like would you kiss your four
Speaker 2: voffles like this?
Speaker 1: But I do that I see that white ship.
Speaker 2: That's sometimes you look at me and be like, I
Speaker 2: can't believe I'm gonna there's.
Speaker 1: A white ship.
Speaker 2: I have full lips, thankfully, But when I be at
Speaker 2: like looking at my mama, sometimes I'll be like, damn, MoMA,
Speaker 2: you ain't got no lips.
Speaker 1: We're in an arrow where you could do it a
Speaker 1: little look at it her hand.
Speaker 2: Now, I'm not giving my mom no filler in the lips.
Speaker 2: I'm not giving her a filler. No, I think uh.
Speaker 2: I would help my mom though, Like she had the
Speaker 2: gastric sleeve. So I'm like, if if insurance doesn't cover,
Speaker 2: you're and it's not a mommy makeover. But she's older,
Speaker 2: so she has the loose skin. I'm like, girl, we
Speaker 2: gonna snip and touch. That's way worse than that is
Speaker 2: way worse.
Speaker 1: Than a lip. No, it's not.
Speaker 3: At least that's just a filler.
Speaker 2: No, no, no filler be looking awful in can migrate
Speaker 2: up under your nose, cutting extra skin, which is a
Speaker 2: health concern.
Speaker 1: It's not worse than film because you know why I
Speaker 1: say that, Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Are you still putting down under it? Right? They put
Speaker 3: you down here?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: To me, it's not like I'm not saying like not
Speaker 2: to get lips like, but to me, I'd rather help
Speaker 2: my mom cut some extra skin off then lip filling.
Speaker 2: I think there's a point where you know, when you
Speaker 2: see someone you're like, oh, that's too much. Imagine them before.
Speaker 2: That's what you gotta know. They built up to that.
Speaker 2: What was Kylie like? Just two shots?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yes, she worked once she got to the point where
Speaker 2: you and then she lied to y'all and said it's
Speaker 2: the lip kit, and y'all bought it. It was sold out.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie, I was them o bit. Y'all
Speaker 2: love a little lip kit?
Speaker 3: You is it?
Speaker 2: Y'all can talk about Kylie all y'all want, with all
Speaker 2: the things baby, her little uh Kylie.
Speaker 1: Clothing line and the lip kit. I'm here. She has
Speaker 1: put out some good quality shit. I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 2: I love a little you know when you put on
Speaker 2: a little cool unjail and if you make your shit,
Speaker 2: but then you oh no, I'm not gonna hold you
Speaker 2: the little lip gloss with the little plumper. Ladies, do
Speaker 2: not kiss a man or suck a man with the
Speaker 2: plumper on your lip.
Speaker 1: We don't even do hordrds anymore.
Speaker 2: But that's my tip to y'all. I done did it
Speaker 2: on accident, and it was like there's a little tingly happening.
Speaker 2: I said, oh shit, it's my plumper. The plumper transfers,
Speaker 2: y'all wait, and it can how fresh, but almost immediately
Speaker 2: like when I'm with someone, I just I constantly am
Speaker 2: putting on claws.
Speaker 1: And then and then all of the things.
Speaker 3: Y'all, wait, but how again, what's the time between the
Speaker 3: plumper and oh, it tingles.
Speaker 2: For a while, like I have this one. I don't
Speaker 2: think it's tart. I forgot the brand.
Speaker 1: I'll bring it. That thing be tingling for about fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is so random.
Speaker 2: But I just have to tell y'all about this last
Speaker 2: night and eleven I'm sorry, my add just hit me
Speaker 2: last night at eleven thirty at night. Okay, there's a
Speaker 2: knock on my door, me and my nigga in a bed.
Speaker 2: I thought about it because the girl got big lips
Speaker 2: when I see her. So I get a knock on
Speaker 2: my door, and I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm
Speaker 2: like nervous, like what, And I've left my key in
Speaker 2: the door before, so I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: please don't tell me that's and it is happening in front.
Speaker 2: I leave my key in the door too. These two
Speaker 2: girls are giggling and we looking through the people this
Speaker 2: whole state.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, sorry, we're just gonna leave it. No
Speaker 1: know on your door. You don't have to open the door.
Speaker 1: I'm going sorry.
Speaker 2: It's two girls, one white, one Indian girl. He opened
Speaker 2: the door and they're like.
Speaker 1: Sorry, we just have a letter for you, and yo,
Speaker 1: you read it. You don't read it?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sorry, They like were giggling. It's almost midnight.
Speaker 2: It's a Monday night. I'm fucking living. Oh I was,
Speaker 2: let me tell you know.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I was like when she said we're your neighbors, I'm like,
Speaker 2: and what do you want? Like he was trying to
Speaker 2: be nice. I was pissed grave read this letter.
Speaker 1: You know. We had to get up early.
Speaker 2: Hi, these are your neighbors, Apartment five and apartment six. Basically,
Speaker 2: we're all on this one floor and it's a larger floor.
Speaker 2: We're considering throwing a party, and we thought it would
Speaker 2: be fun if we all open up our apartments.
Speaker 3: Weird when they're young, right.
Speaker 2: They're young. It's downtown. Let us know what you think,
Speaker 2: or you can just totally ignore.
Speaker 1: This if you want.
Speaker 2: Nikka, let me tell you signing when I tell you
Speaker 2: almost went and thought on TikTok, oh, I almost knocked
Speaker 2: on five and six. They did that on TikTok. They're like,
Speaker 2: that's like it's a trend. Wait, it's real time TikTok. No,
Speaker 2: there's a TikTok where everyone goes to everyone's different apartments
Speaker 2: and in each apartment there's either a theme or drinks,
Speaker 2: and you literally are partying through everyone's apartments.
Speaker 1: I literally saw that on TikTok. Hey, let me tell
Speaker 1: you something. This isn't a fucking wait. He said, I'm
Speaker 1: a millennial. I'm not here for it. Nigga, are you
Speaker 1: out to here? White mind?
Speaker 2: Literally, and I'm going off, and I know he's annoyed too,
Speaker 2: but now he's trying to call me. I'm about to
Speaker 2: go over there, so I get my phone out because
Speaker 2: they left their phone numbers, and he's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: there's children show. I'm like, yo, do you know how
Speaker 2: disrespectful it is to knock on someone's door almost at
Speaker 2: midnight on a fucking Monday?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: You really got me fucked up? Number two? What really
Speaker 1: got me? Tight? Bitch?
Speaker 2: You only trying to do this with me so that
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna complain about how loud it is. And
Speaker 2: ever since that one hole movement Santa con My building
Speaker 2: was flooded. What the fuck do you think this is
Speaker 2: a goddamn frat house.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they do.
Speaker 2: People literally will hear Nina at the door when they
Speaker 2: walk by and just start barking back, and I'll be
Speaker 2: opening a motherfucking door out, bitch, what the fuck is
Speaker 2: you doing?
Speaker 1: Now? I know I live in a downtown Manhattan crazy.
Speaker 2: Area literally by bars an mean that I need to
Speaker 2: now take on this energy. First of all, I am
Speaker 2: a phony. I have a boyfriend. Now, bitch, I'm still
Speaker 2: a party girl. But I just really can't believe these
Speaker 2: neighbors wanted to do this.
Speaker 1: With me, Like, are you crazy? We're gonna just.
Speaker 2: Sound like millennials right now because everyone's asking me about
Speaker 2: a house warming, and I said, so that people know
Speaker 2: where I live. No, no, no, no, no no, I don't
Speaker 2: want anyone coming over my house.
Speaker 1: Y'all.
Speaker 2: Don't think this is that's crazy to knock on somebody.
Speaker 2: But you used to throw parties at your house.
Speaker 1: I still do.
Speaker 3: It doesn't mean I want to, but you yeah, but
Speaker 3: that's fair.
Speaker 2: Do you go to your neighbors and are you considered
Speaker 2: it about how loud it will be?
Speaker 1: Like you warn the bottle of the line before.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean that.
Speaker 1: Giggles do you see that.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me just say this. She's like, I do
Speaker 2: it the matour way I do for congestion.
Speaker 1: Let's start with that.
Speaker 2: If I have a game night in my house and
Speaker 2: the music and the sh it, ain't that crazy. I
Speaker 2: knock on the door. I'm not asking for permission. I say, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have some friends over on Friday. I just
Speaker 2: wanted to bring this by. You know, it's not true.
Speaker 3: Is this barefoot? We're gonna be loud, this.
Speaker 2: Barefoot little Chateau Diana.
Speaker 1: But I mean no.
Speaker 2: And I started to think to myself, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's perfect.
Speaker 1: It'sion decisions.
Speaker 2: What rules do you have as a neighbor? First of all,
Speaker 2: she said, you can ignore this. I feel like the
Speaker 2: nice thing to do was write them and respectfully decline
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, but if you never need anything,
Speaker 2: here's my number. I really don't want to do that
Speaker 2: at all. I don't know why I have to be neighborly.
Speaker 2: I'm a renter. You're gonna be out of here, and
Speaker 2: so am I. Oh, I'm not gonna lie like I
Speaker 2: remember when I lived in Miami. I lived downtown Miami.
Speaker 2: Off this game and I'll never forget. Our neighbor from
Speaker 2: below us came up, mind you. He I guess had
Speaker 2: a nine to five, but me and my roommate at
Speaker 2: the time were bartenders and we went out a lot.
Speaker 2: We would get ready, we would wear heels. He came
Speaker 2: up and literally said, do I need to buy you
Speaker 2: guys slippers? I don't like hearing your heels when I'm
Speaker 2: having to get up for work or whatever, and I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna lie. My initial response, and yes I was
Speaker 2: twenty one at the time, was if you don't want
Speaker 2: to hear people above, you buy the pet house or
Speaker 2: get a house. To me, when you're in an apartment,
Speaker 2: like to me, you should be able to listen to
Speaker 2: your music loud. You should be able to wear heels
Speaker 2: in your home that you pay for. Like to me,
Speaker 2: if you're someone that is really going to be anal
Speaker 2: about the noise made by having neighbors get a fucking hack.
Speaker 3: Can we put what's the asterisk? At considerable hours?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna say that I would be considered.
Speaker 3: Music at five am?
Speaker 1: No or for it? Okay, no, no, I's there's considered that.
Speaker 2: I believe hours if you're walking around, but if I'm
Speaker 2: walking around.
Speaker 1: Bro. No, I understand music, I understand loud.
Speaker 2: I think if anyone under me, because of structurally how
Speaker 2: the building is, there's something underneath me, which is great, right,
Speaker 2: And I'm not even on the bottom floor, but there
Speaker 2: are people above me, most recently a guy that likes
Speaker 2: to do yoga, an and some kind of workout. But
Speaker 2: I say yoga because I just hear it thump sometimes.
Speaker 2: Then I hear one foot. It's not like dumbbells. So
Speaker 2: I let it go because it doesn't last long.
Speaker 1: And I feel like we live in New York. These
Speaker 1: departments are small. Yeah, what am I like? Whatever? But
Speaker 1: do it one day?
Speaker 2: That motherfucker did it late night, and the next day
Speaker 2: when I saw him, I say, hey, can sleep last night.
Speaker 1: See to me, noisles noisless one time.
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, he's like doing a full on workout
Speaker 2: on there. It's like a mad thing he's doing on
Speaker 2: the ground. So I'll make a comment just so you're aware.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's all I could do. I think they
Speaker 1: did make a comment. It's so you're aware.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, and it didn't change anything. Bitch,
Speaker 2: I pay I'm wearing heels at my house I also
Speaker 2: remember too, like sound noise complaints. Sorry, bro, come on,
Speaker 2: like get ear plugs, get it together. Like people are
Speaker 2: living how they live. I will say the only thing
Speaker 2: that I have understood. I had a no roommate when
Speaker 2: I lived in the Bronx who was a smoker. Smoked
Speaker 2: all day, every day, and the apartment above us was
Speaker 2: Section eight. Well, if Sectionnate comes and smells weed, you
Speaker 2: could lose your Section eight. And so because she didn't
Speaker 2: want to stop smoking in her home, she moved out.
Speaker 2: And so that's where like again, if you don't like something,
Speaker 2: or if you don't like the complaints from your neighbors, bro,
Speaker 2: move out. But I don't think you should have to
Speaker 2: change your whole way of living in your home that
Speaker 2: you pay rent for to accommodate neighbors.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 2: So she's said out because she's like, I'm gonna smoke
Speaker 2: in my room. I'm gonna smoke in my house. I
Speaker 2: pay rent, I wake up, I roll a blunt, I smoke.
Speaker 2: So she moved out and moved to a place that
Speaker 2: didn't mind her smoking. And I respected that.
Speaker 1: I thought you were saying, move out. I have the neighbor.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, no, she moved out. She said, Hu,
Speaker 2: no worries, I am going to smoke in my home and.
Speaker 1: She moved out.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think that's really honorable. Yeah, because if
Speaker 2: you tell me, I gotta go beach. I mean, but again,
Speaker 2: when you're dealing with Section eight or newborn babies like
Speaker 2: my loft. Now, like my neighbor smokes cigars. The people
Speaker 2: before me had a baby and literally said, hey.
Speaker 1: We can't. I mean, when you're sharing vents with people
Speaker 1: like smoke. I understand. I understand smoke too.
Speaker 2: My partner is a He owns properties and one of
Speaker 2: them he recently like saw and basically I guess she hunh.
Speaker 2: She opened the door and he's like, yo, I couldn't
Speaker 2: even see the floor.
Speaker 1: It was just filthy.
Speaker 2: Affording kids, he was like, and not just regular, I
Speaker 2: have kids, messy And he's like, all of it, you
Speaker 2: can it's gonna take over the walls. Yeah yeah, And
Speaker 2: I literally was like, how do you know if someone
Speaker 2: has bad cleaning habits or even smoking or anything. A
Speaker 2: lot of people are investing nowadays. We get in to
Speaker 2: that age where we want to get an investment property.
Speaker 1: What do you do.
Speaker 2: We just watched fucking five year oh four and smoking
Speaker 2: in and a motherfucker's crib.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy, that's what. That's what even I saw.
Speaker 2: It was either a tweet or or maybe it was
Speaker 2: a TikTok, but it was saying that ladies, you shouldn't
Speaker 2: even open your legs for a man until you see
Speaker 2: how he lives. Oh a to see if he clean
Speaker 2: or not, but also be to make sure he don't.
Speaker 1: Live with his wife. You should, you should.
Speaker 2: You should go and be able to see the inside
Speaker 2: of his home, and you should know the color of
Speaker 2: his shower curtain. Bro.
Speaker 1: And you know what's crazy, You don't really.
Speaker 2: Have a right to own enter a tenant's property. But
Speaker 2: also at the same time, you want to make sure
Speaker 2: your ship is being upheld. I'm like, so what do
Speaker 2: you That's why renting is tough. But that's why a
Speaker 2: lot of home like owners or people that get into
Speaker 2: investment properties don't want to rent to Section eight because
Speaker 2: the possibility of their home being destroyed is higher than
Speaker 2: than not, because they genuinely if you're not paying and
Speaker 2: Section eight you're paying very minimal, you don't seem to
Speaker 2: care about things that you don't pay for m question,
Speaker 2: so would but sorry. On the other hand, he does
Speaker 2: have a Section eight tenant. It was like, I get
Speaker 2: my rent.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I I grew up as a Section eight tenant like
Speaker 2: my mom and us. We were a section we were
Speaker 2: we were on section they growing up and we took
Speaker 2: very good care of the house.
Speaker 3: What do you wish that they had done instead?
Speaker 1: Slid it under the door? Not a knock in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. I think that's a sliding under
Speaker 1: the door. Eleven thirty on a Monday.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 2: I understand the age of the world right now, but
Speaker 2: I just think there needs to be some decorum and
Speaker 2: these kids, I really feel like they distract these kids.
Speaker 1: We is aging the help. OHI decisions.
Speaker 2: They turned to open my door to are you insant?
Speaker 2: Look and ruined.
Speaker 1: She's like, ooh, y'all a guy, Oh you want some
Speaker 1: sound proof of tea sound ordinance tea. Y'all.
Speaker 2: I opened a gym. I'm gonna tell you all about it.
Speaker 2: It's called trap House. If you haven't seen it on
Speaker 2: my ig yet, it's in.
Speaker 1: The Lower East Side. We have a neighbor. Oh, it
Speaker 1: just came from the Flora ba oh boy.
Speaker 2: And my partner was upstairs with them, introducing themselves and
Speaker 2: he said, it was pretty loud yesterday.
Speaker 1: What was going on?
Speaker 2: And you guys, I're wing a party And she was like, now,
Speaker 2: we were doing our workout normally, he would commercial though,
Speaker 2: don't you have to like, aren't you aware of who
Speaker 2: you're who else is in the building before you joined
Speaker 2: the building? Well, that person said, she said, did you
Speaker 2: not know where a gym? He said, I knew you
Speaker 2: were a pilate studio. Oh, didn't know that you were
Speaker 2: gonna be playing rap bitch it is trup And.
Speaker 1: So she's like, well, what level of noise would be
Speaker 1: comfortable for you? He said, A pin drop girl. She
Speaker 1: came downstairs, said, well, we're gonna kicked out. I said, no,
Speaker 1: that hell we a. I signed my lease first.
Speaker 2: Nobody else was in the building and they were very
Speaker 2: aware what this would be. I'm following the decibels of
Speaker 2: what's allowed the apartments. On the side, so it's New York, right,
Speaker 2: you have some commercial then on the side, I turned
Speaker 2: it off at a certain time.
Speaker 1: I've sound throof the windows, like sound is going to travel.
Speaker 2: Up and if you think I'm not gonna have a
Speaker 2: sub with it when I want to hear sexy right
Speaker 2: on the reformer you got me.
Speaker 1: But no, So now we just waiting. Girl.
Speaker 2: He's a white gay man, and whereas gay men steal
Speaker 2: my heart, I have a feeling one day he's just
Speaker 2: gonna be like I've had it. I am terrified. Luckily,
Speaker 2: our schedule is like seven, eight, nine thirty. He comes
Speaker 2: in around eleven. We do have a twelve class for
Speaker 2: the rest is late night five six seven.
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, maybe you'll hear one. But I
Speaker 1: think what makes it worse.
Speaker 2: Because when I thought about it, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: if I knew there was a plate studio as well,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh you wouldn't You didn't see the
Speaker 2: name of trop house.
Speaker 3: Oh I mean he can so dog it. I'm a
Speaker 3: little I'm a little scared of business. If you don't
Speaker 3: want me asking.
Speaker 1: Very designer showroom. Oh oh jo, I know he probably
Speaker 1: has elevator music playing.
Speaker 3: Right, And I woke.
Speaker 1: My Buddha hole brown about to be all a daddy baby.
Speaker 1: Oh wait no.
Speaker 2: The song is a laugh in the hallway and I
Speaker 2: felt so bad because it's a big bangs with fin being.
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, are you mean?
Speaker 2: I was like, oh shit, I mean, it wasn't cursing,
Speaker 2: but it's just so loud.
Speaker 1: You're just yelling Fiene.
Speaker 2: It's soliciting drugs. Yeahllo is it. That's what athene is, bro,
Speaker 2: I know that's what a fene is. I thought it
Speaker 2: was just like we're feene in for the party.
Speaker 1: You're feeding for for the party. Sure, for the party.
Speaker 1: But anyway, it's super fun. Come. I made a code
Speaker 1: for hohre Hive.
Speaker 2: It's ten bucks off and it's half pilates inspired moves
Speaker 2: and half lifting and it's been.
Speaker 1: Really really dope. David Edden got to come through and
Speaker 1: you did. Now you got to come You didn't do it.
Speaker 3: You didn't do so I felt like I was doing it.
Speaker 2: I've never done plates though with machines. I do pilates
Speaker 2: with my body, so I don't know about it.
Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, the machines be scared me. That's what
Speaker 1: I seeing the athletes show. A lot of people are scared.
Speaker 2: We do like we started an intro class because I
Speaker 2: really a lot of girls coming in like I'm kind
Speaker 2: of nervous or I'm.
Speaker 1: Scared and you don't want to be the worst thing.
Speaker 2: For me is when I go to a hard workout
Speaker 2: and everybody's better than me or making me feel like
Speaker 2: I'm not keeping up.
Speaker 1: So I understand that too.
Speaker 2: Like pilates, bar yoga, like I realize my uh my intimidation.
Speaker 2: I'm intimidated by machines. So I've really enjoyed working out
Speaker 2: with just moving that my must interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like. I don't like machines.
Speaker 2: I think even when I go into gym's, like I
Speaker 2: had a gym in my last building and I was
Speaker 2: just like learning really the usage of them. I prefer
Speaker 2: like using just my body weight. So like seeing my
Speaker 2: love over the years grow for for bar class and
Speaker 2: yoga and hot yoga and pilates, it's always been just
Speaker 2: a mat and with pilates too, so I can't call
Speaker 2: it pilates and I can't call it Lagree, but it
Speaker 2: is the closest to Lagree. The fitness director is Lagree certified,
Speaker 2: but there is like a monopoly on using the name.
Speaker 2: So the machines are literally that, but I can't say
Speaker 2: it because other studios own that, so I've had to
Speaker 2: say plates inspired. But basically I just went from what
Speaker 2: changed my body the most, and everybody know, y'all have
Speaker 2: come with me to work outs and shit over the years.
Speaker 2: Like there's a bunch that I love, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: this is what changed me the most, lifting weights and
Speaker 2: the reformer. So the regular plates machine is kind of
Speaker 2: like this one is heavier so you feel it more.
Speaker 2: But it's really because I want niggas on it. Like
Speaker 2: my goal was to have like a workout that men
Speaker 2: could do. I even made one spot in the gym
Speaker 2: called the boyfriend bench, and it's a bench that is
Speaker 2: only listing and you don't have to do the machine, okay,
Speaker 2: because I knew it was gonna be niggas up in there,
Speaker 2: and it's a dude in there every time.
Speaker 1: Also, girls bringing their boyfriends.
Speaker 2: Girls, you got to hold own it, damn baby, bring
Speaker 2: us on fineess, Niggas's not.
Speaker 1: You looking at the girl's boyfriend. Sorry, Oh no, you
Speaker 1: are the owner. Can you be respectful to your relationships?
Speaker 4: Damn?
Speaker 2: Speaking of which, I have realized that the culture of
Speaker 2: WTF media and owning this business is drastically different.
Speaker 1: From starting a new one.
Speaker 2: And you know, everybody has a language. Mandy and I
Speaker 2: talk a certain way in the group chat with you.
Speaker 2: I talk a certain way in the group chat with
Speaker 2: Jeff and Alex and Clara whoever.
Speaker 1: This new business, I have to really wastch my mouth.
Speaker 2: Literally, someone came in and I was like, damn, her
Speaker 2: ass looks so good, and they all looked at me
Speaker 2: like yeah, no one else, but you can't talk like that.
Speaker 1: I was like, hr guard, Oh yeah, Guard, it's already
Speaker 1: a sexual energy.
Speaker 2: It's sweaty in there, and it's like beautiful people, so
Speaker 2: just you know, it's crazy. I have the opposite thought,
Speaker 2: like going to the gym is never sexual energy, Like
Speaker 2: I don't know, I guess I guess that goes to
Speaker 2: like the no, you're a horny but I get it.
Speaker 2: But I don't think this gym is not does not
Speaker 2: bring about sexual energy.
Speaker 1: What really the sweat the heat that surprised.
Speaker 2: I understand a group fitness class because mainly being around
Speaker 2: a bunch of girls doing like so we're also by
Speaker 2: so no, like I'm in yoga and asses in the air,
Speaker 2: I eat pussy lick as you would think it.
Speaker 1: I don't go to like when I'm in the gym,
Speaker 1: you don't feel sexy either. I'm bitch, I'm hurting I'm stretching,
Speaker 1: I'm hurting seriously.
Speaker 2: No, I don't, no, I don't.
Speaker 1: I go with my little cut up. That's why I got.
Speaker 1: I go to sweat, but I don't go to look good.
Speaker 1: I go to like my body. I go to feel good.
Speaker 1: I don't go to like look good. I don't do
Speaker 1: my makeup.
Speaker 2: I'll put on a baseball No, no, no, no, I'm not
Speaker 2: talking about girls that go to look good. I've never
Speaker 2: put on makeup for the gym. I'm talking about going
Speaker 2: to field. I go to feel good, but I'm not
Speaker 2: going to feel good in my pussy. I'm going to
Speaker 2: feel good everywhere else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I ain't gonnallow to you.
Speaker 2: I do feel like a especially with lower body workouts,
Speaker 2: like it literally brings it builds testosterone for men. You
Speaker 2: just start doing squats and ship like it's it definitely
Speaker 2: gets the blood flowing.
Speaker 1: I felt sexy. Will you when you squat? Does you
Speaker 1: get hard at it?
Speaker 3: Not hard?
Speaker 2: You said it builds the bud and blood like there's
Speaker 2: blood flowing, right, So is it flowing like when you
Speaker 2: squat or even day when you do anything lower body?
Speaker 1: Is your is your dick getting hard?
Speaker 2: Maybe like a half chob like not a half chobe. Okay,
Speaker 2: can we get to hypotheticals. Half chobe is crap job, it's.
Speaker 1: Crazy, like you just asked me my dick hard.
Speaker 2: Sorry, clearly, don't feel like I can't say anything, but
Speaker 2: I'll be getting horny and I'm gonna lie to you
Speaker 2: on the machine. Like there's this one move like it's
Speaker 2: almost like a cat cow. It's in tabletop position when you're.
Speaker 1: Doing it, do like cat coo oh.
Speaker 2: I really was like I'd be feeling in my lower
Speaker 2: I love a cat I'll be tooting it up. Or
Speaker 2: if I do rows where one arm is on the
Speaker 2: bench and I'm just rowing the other, I'm finna toot glass.
Speaker 3: Do you stir yourself in the mirror? Duh?
Speaker 1: Hello? Have you like?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry ego to start anyway? Hypothetical Okay, if you
Speaker 2: could make one universal law in the realm of sex,
Speaker 2: what would it be?
Speaker 1: Can you start with this? Okay?
Speaker 2: So for me, the law I would make is like,
Speaker 2: if you fake an orgasm, you got a jail for
Speaker 2: six months. And the reason I say that is because
Speaker 2: the faking of the orgasm, which I have done before,
Speaker 2: has promoted so much lack of interest in what someone
Speaker 2: wants because you're already getting the instant gratification. So we're
Speaker 2: not learning what we're doing wrong. And even if it's
Speaker 2: not that you're doing anything wrong, I think it's you know,
Speaker 2: not learning it to please someone else.
Speaker 1: So now we just is it good?
Speaker 2: Yeah, instead of saying how can I get you off?
Speaker 1: What do you like? Do you like harder? More pressure?
Speaker 1: Like we just don't ask? I agree, I agree.
Speaker 2: I mean a universal law for me would be it
Speaker 2: doesn't count if you don't come, And I think it
Speaker 2: would limit the conversation.
Speaker 1: What do you mean it doesn't count if I didn't come.
Speaker 2: I've only fucked five niggas, it didn't count if I
Speaker 2: didn't come. That would be the law I would create,
Speaker 2: because there's there's no way in hell, like even if
Speaker 2: I had to sign a little waiver like yes, I came,
Speaker 2: so then you could you could acknowledge me as a body,
Speaker 2: You could tell people we had sex.
Speaker 1: However, if I did not come, it didn't happen. Did
Speaker 1: you really blow my back out?
Speaker 2: I don't recall it didn't happen. That would be my
Speaker 2: universal law. So then has it been the same for you? No,
Speaker 2: It's like have you fucked anybody?
Speaker 1: Let's say you.
Speaker 2: Fucked fifty women, and if you didn't make any of
Speaker 2: them come, you don't vote to you're a virgin.
Speaker 3: That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to this fucking No I would.
Speaker 2: I mean I think that that's because there's guys that
Speaker 2: be acting like they did a whole lot of something
Speaker 2: and it was a whole lot of nothing. And now
Speaker 2: I want my pussy muscles back and guess what, I'm
Speaker 2: going to take them back because you didn't even make
Speaker 2: them contract. Hello, now I feel like a rapper. What
Speaker 2: would your law be for sex? Do you have a
Speaker 2: sex law that you would if your DL you gotta,
Speaker 2: that would be your sex laws? Do you have to
Speaker 2: give ahead before penetration?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't happen to be before, but like head
Speaker 3: has to happen, one head has to.
Speaker 1: Happen on one of the other.
Speaker 3: Yes, I like that.
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that. I think that's actually a
Speaker 1: really good lie.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not gonna lie. You're kind of childish.
Speaker 2: If there's no oral are you, you're childish? If if
Speaker 2: you are having sex as a grown as adult, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna say eight nineteen and no, cause by eighteen you
Speaker 2: may still be there. I don't think anyone who is
Speaker 2: mature is having any sex without having or so. My
Speaker 2: drug dealer is like, well, he's a new one, but
Speaker 2: he's like a superhod nigga, and to be honest with you,
Speaker 2: the type of drugs that like ain't super hood, so
Speaker 2: something about it.
Speaker 1: It's just kind of fun when he comes through. So
Speaker 1: we talking or whatever.
Speaker 2: He's like, yo, I found out a horrible decisions. I
Speaker 2: didn't even know I've been serving him, like I ain't
Speaker 2: know who he was.
Speaker 1: Were talking. He was like, you know, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: A lot of girls be trying to cut me off
Speaker 2: because I don't really kiss or eat pussy unless I'm
Speaker 2: super in love.
Speaker 1: And I literally was like, then what do you do?
Speaker 2: Put his dick in you finger then and spit Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was, so I'm like I can almost see I
Speaker 2: can understand the kissing and like like.
Speaker 1: Titty, like what I mean?
Speaker 2: I use anyway, I'm never buying mushrooms from him again.
Speaker 2: I mean I used to have sex and not kiss
Speaker 2: I get kissing being an intimate. It's so crazy because
Speaker 2: I think, you know, kissing is more.
Speaker 3: Intimate or kissing the head.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, kissing is way more intimate than giving head.
Speaker 2: I agree, it is, like I said, like, I agree
Speaker 2: with you. I think oral is a part of sex.
Speaker 3: Or oral should be a part of sex.
Speaker 1: It should be one or the other. Is giving head.
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone has to give a head, even if we're
Speaker 2: not sixty nine yet out someone has to give head.
Speaker 2: Like one of my homegirls just opened up her relationship
Speaker 2: and she was asking me about my rules and how
Speaker 2: they are the boundaries and what we're both allowed to do.
Speaker 2: And one of the things she said to me was
Speaker 2: do you letting me other pussy always? Because men will
Speaker 2: say they don't want you to suck other dick, right,
Speaker 2: So she was like you do you let them get
Speaker 2: other pussy? And I was like, well, it's not a
Speaker 2: rule that he can't. I was like, isn't a head
Speaker 2: part of sex? I was like, am my, Nigga's not
Speaker 2: busting down bitches every week, Like this is not something
Speaker 2: like our sex life is not.
Speaker 1: It's not a frequent, no monogamy thing. We don't. He
Speaker 1: doesn't have many other partners, right. I was like, I
Speaker 1: didn't even.
Speaker 2: Think to police that, and she was like, that's insane
Speaker 2: to me because that's so intimate. I'm like, bro, my
Speaker 2: boyfriend is allowed to have sex with other women. We
Speaker 2: have sex with other women together. Now you're telling me
Speaker 2: that's so intimate.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm not gonna lie. There was an argument with
Speaker 1: my ex.
Speaker 2: I didn't mind him having sex with other women, But
Speaker 2: you went to a bar with a bitch, like I
Speaker 2: thought it was intimate. So you spend outside time out
Speaker 2: of the bedroom with a woman like.
Speaker 1: For what, why do you have to talk to her?
Speaker 2: Aren't you just supposed to be having sex now, So like,
Speaker 2: to me, intimacy is giving someone your time. On the
Speaker 2: on the other front, what's interesting is I agree. So
Speaker 2: whereas it didn't bother me before, at this juncture of
Speaker 2: my life, I don't really want that, Like I don't want.
Speaker 1: A woman feeling like you.
Speaker 2: Are, oh like hurt your time as oh like a
Speaker 2: birthday or something like that, like, yeah, did a bad
Speaker 2: day at work And I think that's too deep. So
Speaker 2: basically he was like, yo, I'm not like going out
Speaker 2: meeting bitches that are like birds, like these girls are
Speaker 2: decent people. I can't just be like, let me pull up.
Speaker 2: You have a decent woman like to just get fucked
Speaker 2: and left too, So he wrote, what about our thing
Speaker 2: was if I ever meet a new person that I
Speaker 2: sleep with, can I at least go to a bar
Speaker 2: with them for the first time. I don't want to
Speaker 2: just go to women's home or they come to mind
Speaker 2: like I need something there.
Speaker 1: I was like, fine, the first time is it?
Speaker 2: And I my home always were laughing about it because
Speaker 2: they were like, what if you're gonna kill the first night?
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's his problem that nigga got a motherfucking
Speaker 2: ninety out of one hundred a record. Fuck it, like,
Speaker 2: you better work that night. But to be fair, uh,
Speaker 2: something that is very important to me. And again in
Speaker 2: decisions decisions, we're talking about non monogamy. So I love
Speaker 2: and appreciate that any one he could meet while out
Speaker 2: knows he has a girlfriend. I think that's something that
Speaker 2: is part of the ethical nominogamy. You don't get the
Speaker 2: number and then say, oh, I have a girlfriend, right,
Speaker 2: you see it generally speaking, if that's happening, you're probably
Speaker 2: knowing this is for sex. So I think that's where
Speaker 2: it's kind of worked out.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: We haven't had this conversation a while. He ain't missed
Speaker 2: a new bitches in a minute. But when we did
Speaker 2: have the convo, that was something I pressed on in
Speaker 2: the beginning, like, are you sure you're saying it?
Speaker 1: Are you sure?
Speaker 2: Like, please make sure because I never want to be
Speaker 2: in a position where you're a liar to someone else.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's my problem now.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 2: Engaging in a lot of heavy conversation and potential relationship
Speaker 2: planning with the three guys that I'm talking to, and
Speaker 2: all of them are monogamous, and I'm like just hoping
Speaker 2: through conversation I could change their mind. But about monogamous
Speaker 2: having sex together? Are they okay with that?
Speaker 1: That's my problem. I like all three of them, so
Speaker 1: I don't want to day. Did you guys play? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't see that.
Speaker 2: I never wanted more than one maybe in a Jersey
Speaker 2: Oh game night, super Bowl, none of none of them,
Speaker 2: none of them live in the same city. So I think,
Speaker 2: you know, if it's you know, you know, long long
Speaker 2: distance relationship type ship, like we can find ways to
Speaker 2: enjoy each other long distance man.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I saw this clip, and while it's a lot to
Speaker 2: think about, I just found the opinion to be so
Speaker 2: interesting and I thought it'd be good to share on
Speaker 2: Horrible because we're both kind of gay.
Speaker 3: Yes, So what's your take?
Speaker 1: I take us up.
Speaker 5: A lot of queer people lead hetereral lives.
Speaker 3: A lot of queer people lead hetero lives.
Speaker 4: Not unpacking their homophones, secret homos if you will, can
Speaker 4: I say secret homos?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: No, quiet queers, These quiet queers living straight lives exactly
Speaker 4: wearing khaki pants and talk it didn't blue T shirts
Speaker 4: saying I'm gay but you're not well.
Speaker 5: Also because they refuse to distigmatize, declonize their brain. It's
Speaker 5: like people can be fair and identity but still remain
Speaker 5: culturally straight. What is culturally straight refusing to dig any
Speaker 5: deeper because that like ownership of the label queer, it's
Speaker 5: assumed that it like absolves you from kind of just
Speaker 5: doing any further work. And there's this constant process of
Speaker 5: re education that's necessary to kind of due.
Speaker 4: Diligence, like once you realize you are queer.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm looking at gentrifier bisexuals, specifically gentrifier bisexuals.
Speaker 1: What are those.
Speaker 5: Gentrifiers who are bisexuals not digging deeper into their internalized
Speaker 5: homophobia gentrifier.
Speaker 3: Bisexuals are homophobic? Yes, this is fascinating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, Well why do gay people always come
Speaker 2: for the buys death number one? They do give it
Speaker 2: a break, bitch, They don't allow us to be a
Speaker 2: part of the community like that.
Speaker 1: Now, where I will give this.
Speaker 2: Person some credit, I will say, watching her talk, I
Speaker 2: don't know if she's non binary.
Speaker 1: I feel like the way that she's using language, it
Speaker 1: could be it's giving non binary. Yeah.
Speaker 2: However, where I will give them credit is something specifically
Speaker 2: about culturally straight. Of first, I didn't understand it, and
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, you could come out of the
Speaker 2: closet and still be a fucking bigot. You could be
Speaker 2: a racist, you could be pro is you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, Like, there could be a lot of things
Speaker 2: about you. Just because you're queer or gay don't necessarily
Speaker 2: mean you're for the people. Well, when I heard this,
Speaker 2: I immediately, especially now being in the South and just
Speaker 2: seeing too that all my friends go to church on
Speaker 2: Sunday and like it being more heavily religious, being in
Speaker 2: the Bible Belt, that this is a privileged way of thinking.
Speaker 2: Because she's probably a New Yorker. I think the way
Speaker 2: that people can exist or be open as non binary
Speaker 2: or how they dress, or how they kind of can
Speaker 2: live as their individualistic selves.
Speaker 1: New York allows that.
Speaker 2: I think the South and other parts of the country,
Speaker 2: you can sexuality is still something that is kept behind
Speaker 2: closed doors. And so I don't think that just because
Speaker 2: you're you're a man who sucks stick or a woman
Speaker 2: who eats pussy, that you.
Speaker 1: Have to be this openly outward gay.
Speaker 2: Existing being for society, HI think, And I think that
Speaker 2: that's why she was saying culturally straight. I don't think
Speaker 2: people need to be like us that wear their labels
Speaker 2: on their shirt. I think you can go to work
Speaker 2: and everyone doesn't need to know you're gay just because
Speaker 2: you're gay. So and I think that that's why there's
Speaker 2: a lot of privilege sometimes in people that live out loud,
Speaker 2: where they push you a little bit right. I had
Speaker 2: to check myself recently in a conversation about just radical blackness,
Speaker 2: like me telling someone it's gonna be x y Z
Speaker 2: like this fuck white shit and being light skin and
Speaker 2: being loud is a privilege, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I'm operating in a world where I can talk like that.
Speaker 1: I'm a woman I'm young, whatever.
Speaker 2: Not every black person has this experience, right, And so yes,
Speaker 2: it's a privilege to be able to be loud in that.
Speaker 2: I use that as an example because this person is
Speaker 2: out and well received by whoever or has our community,
Speaker 2: and not everybody's like that. So I think sometimes demonizing
Speaker 2: someone for not being gay enough sucks. But the only
Speaker 2: thing I did kind of ride with is like watching
Speaker 2: gays for Trump become a thing. When I made that
Speaker 2: joke on the Breakfast Club about I didn't even connect
Speaker 2: the dots, but it was like, oh, yeah, Trump funcks
Speaker 2: with the gays. Can't be trans because we're watching the
Speaker 2: gays celebrate Trump, love him down. And then Megan Kelly
Speaker 2: and all these other people get up there and put
Speaker 2: all this fear in your heart about trans people, and
Speaker 2: it's like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Then, So it's just the gaze, not the GE's not
Speaker 1: the q's not the t's. Everybody else is confusing me.
Speaker 1: Not that non binaries.
Speaker 2: I don't like that, but this is all an umbrella
Speaker 2: for us in being fluid in your sexuality. Most trans people,
Speaker 2: I understand its gender not sexuality, but for most trans
Speaker 2: people it is.
Speaker 1: And so it is a disappointment to then think that.
Speaker 2: Like you could be gay and also not necessarily be
Speaker 2: for any other civil rights. I mean, I will say,
Speaker 2: bringing it back to relationships, if I think of culturally straight,
Speaker 2: within the LGBTQ community as well, there's oftentimes the well,
Speaker 2: who's the man, who's the woman, who's the feminine, who's
Speaker 2: the masculine, And so if we talk about maybe how
Speaker 2: homosexual relationships adapt or try to incorporate very heterosexual means
Speaker 2: of how to operate in relationships, I do agree that
Speaker 2: that does take unlearning, and it does take a little
Speaker 2: bit of homophobia. The idea that we have to have
Speaker 2: these heterosexual ideas even within a homosexual relationship, I do
Speaker 2: agree to a bit. But like I said, I think
Speaker 2: that there's a privilege in someone speaking that way depending
Speaker 2: on your community where you're at, And I think if
Speaker 2: you're someone in New York, you don't understand your privilege
Speaker 2: as a queer individual and how you're able to just
Speaker 2: exist here having places like the village and having you know,
Speaker 2: whole communities where there's rainbow flows they want to take
Speaker 2: you in, not the same if you go to some
Speaker 2: of these sundown towns or like I said, even in
Speaker 2: the South or going to Florida where you can't even
Speaker 2: say gay.
Speaker 1: Did you watch the Jerry Springer doc on Netflix?
Speaker 2: Yet it's not that unfortunately as background noise, but yes
Speaker 2: it was on, so it's not that good. But there
Speaker 2: was something very interesting. They talked about where people were from.
Speaker 2: And I thought they were gonna expose Jerry Springership for
Speaker 2: being fake, right, And they're like, yo, we one girl
Speaker 2: got fired for something being fake, right, and she goes,
Speaker 2: I should have known it wasn't real because he was
Speaker 2: from Boston and none of this shit is happening in Boston.
Speaker 2: And they circled on a map the middle of America
Speaker 2: where eighty percent of the Jerry Springer guests were from
Speaker 2: Middle America, right, And so there's something about when you're
Speaker 2: not in the and even a Florida is a crazy
Speaker 2: fucking town, but these are still larger cities where you
Speaker 2: get to be interacting with other people.
Speaker 1: So I think we do forget that a lot.
Speaker 2: And you hate her, but those people we need to
Speaker 2: have grace for in accepting themselves their sexuality. And oh no,
Speaker 2: I just think a lot of them are more ignorant
Speaker 2: than most, but it's because they haven't been exposed to more.
Speaker 2: I think they just live in their ignorance. So I
Speaker 2: don't know if I've talked about this on Horrible, but
Speaker 2: I feel like I have. Maybe it's been a while,
Speaker 2: but I was dating a man whose brother was gay
Speaker 2: and he blamed me for exposing that.
Speaker 1: I ever tell you about that, Yeah, I think you
Speaker 1: should there.
Speaker 2: So basically, the gist of it was, he had a
Speaker 2: brother come from a South American country, its Venezuela, and
Speaker 2: when he got here, he goes, Gila, baby, we need
Speaker 2: to put him on the dating apps. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I met his brother for five minutes and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I know a dating app, feel like, And I introduced
Speaker 2: his brother to Grinder. His brother ended up getting engaged
Speaker 2: to a wonderful man. They are still married to this day,
Speaker 2: by the way. And I want to say this was
Speaker 2: when I was twenty two.
Speaker 1: This happened. I say this to.
Speaker 2: Say, I remember when his brother came out and said
Speaker 2: I have a boyfriend, and he was like that you
Speaker 2: made him gay. But this was your same partner that
Speaker 2: left you for Jesus, right, Yes, but That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So the homophobia within the church.
Speaker 1: Oh no, No, No, not him. I wanted to just say.
Speaker 2: His brother was in his twenties at the time, never
Speaker 2: had heard of grinder is leaving Venezuela, and it's like,
Speaker 2: you don't really, you're not. You need somebody like me
Speaker 2: being that doc connector to that world. How else was
Speaker 2: he going to get that he's living with his brother,
Speaker 2: he doesn't have friends, he's not going out.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're closeted. Maybe, And I don't know if he
Speaker 1: was closeted or not. I just don't know he was.
Speaker 2: He probably had internal homophobia like my friend's growing up,
Speaker 2: which is why I don't like my Latina friends saying
Speaker 2: the N word. I was friend my best friends growing up.
Speaker 2: One was Colombian, one was Mexican, and never forget, both
Speaker 2: of their parents blamed me as to why their daughters
Speaker 2: like black men.
Speaker 1: Not that we went to majority black schools.
Speaker 2: No, it's because they were friends with me, and so
Speaker 2: knowing that they were, Yeah, and so the fact that
Speaker 2: your parents are blaming me as to why you like
Speaker 2: black men is crazy. But I knew that that was
Speaker 2: their internalized racism towards black people. Your partner, maybe not
Speaker 2: ever expressing it, was internally homophobic, and I think.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, he was no.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that to highlight the thing about like how
Speaker 2: the Midwest doesn't really have community. I was because they
Speaker 2: that guy like your brother just came to a new
Speaker 2: country where we can be open, where we can be open.
Speaker 2: Oh the same my cousin left Jamaica because he was
Speaker 2: gay and there was not safety for him at Jamaica.
Speaker 2: Just a didn't think about or even Dave dn't think
Speaker 2: about the way you go on a date and you
Speaker 2: kiss someone in a restaurant Palm Street.
Speaker 1: Gay men fucking look over their shoulders. But are you
Speaker 1: are you ready?
Speaker 2: It's the same thing we're dealing with now, which is
Speaker 2: why parents and everyone they're blaming television, they're blaming drag queens,
Speaker 2: they're blaming everything. But the scientific fact that as people, psychologically, environmentally,
Speaker 2: we have these attractions to people, not because gayiteness was
Speaker 2: thrown into our face, but because of who we naturally are.
Speaker 2: You just said the drag queens. And so this weekend,
Speaker 2: I just made dinner for my man's family. I've never
Speaker 2: made dinner for parents before, and he was like, make
Speaker 2: them gumbo, and I'm like, that must be the blackest shit.
Speaker 1: I make That's why he said it. Yeah, it don't
Speaker 1: nobody want Avocadoso's girl cooking out. My daughter saw the
Speaker 1: type of city.
Speaker 2: But basically we're sitting down at the table and his
Speaker 2: dad loves politics and thank god, same vibe on politics. Right,
Speaker 2: I'm talking about how Trump is terrible and whatever and
Speaker 2: how the campaign was run for fear. And I started
Speaker 2: to say something, and I know my man was gonna
Speaker 2: be like, bitch, you gotta shut to Liberata. Well, I said,
Speaker 2: you know what's crazier about Trump is the trans ads.
Speaker 2: I was like, how many times because they watched TV,
Speaker 2: they're watching the rights did you see like the guy
Speaker 2: with the football jersey.
Speaker 1: In the dress?
Speaker 2: Like, is so crazy to me that one percent of
Speaker 2: the population made a lot of people. They say trans
Speaker 2: people are one point three right now, and it we're
Speaker 2: blessed to know about.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean wearing the right jig fires,
Speaker 1: which yeah, I was.
Speaker 2: Like, how crazy is it that all these people are
Speaker 2: voting read just because they're scared of this? Meanwhile, they
Speaker 2: aren't scared of the guns in their kids' schools, but
Speaker 2: the advertisement saying be very scared of a man going
Speaker 2: in your kids bathroom, be scared of the fucking ak's. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so I'm starting to go in. I know you're
Speaker 2: looking at me like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: It's funny.
Speaker 2: That's why, Like I like, really it's funny because I
Speaker 2: just had the same conversation with Active's dad. So he
Speaker 2: went to Europe and was with his family for the
Speaker 2: holidays and was really excited for me to meet his
Speaker 2: parents being FaceTime, and we literally got into the discussion
Speaker 2: about freedom of speech, and he was telling me about
Speaker 2: like all these little black either Pseudanese or or or
Speaker 2: something about the we we correlated what's happening overseas with
Speaker 2: all these little black girls that started dying but the
Speaker 2: government not wanting to look into it because of racism.
Speaker 2: And I literally compared it to what happened with the
Speaker 2: new bill in California, where there was evidence that they
Speaker 2: weren't going to look for black girls that were.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay okay.
Speaker 2: And so like having this real like liberal conversation about
Speaker 2: also the way in which politics are in Europe compared
Speaker 2: to what they are here and that we aligned. It
Speaker 2: was like he was like, I don't know if you
Speaker 2: have time for this, And I was like oh no,
Speaker 2: of course, and we had a whole conversation about politics.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's her way, I realized, Like and it's
Speaker 2: funny because his dad was saying, like, you know how
Speaker 2: you make a man's parents fall in love with you?
Speaker 2: You You asked him if they need help in the kitchen,
Speaker 2: You care, You do these things that like millennials people
Speaker 2: just don't care about.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh no, it's really I know.
Speaker 1: Then he has politics. Then he switches the phone to
Speaker 1: his mom and is like, oh my god, you have
Speaker 1: her dream apartment. Give her a tour.
Speaker 2: And so I'm touring my new loft and showing it
Speaker 2: to her, and she's telling me her dream was to
Speaker 2: live in New York in this thing. And It's like, not,
Speaker 2: you haven't me born with your parents right now?
Speaker 1: Like, well, well, we.
Speaker 2: Haven't even we don't know what this relationship is. This
Speaker 2: is thing how our people should do FaceTime meet up
Speaker 2: to parents. Yeah, is great, because it's not it was great,
Speaker 2: too much pressure.
Speaker 1: No, it's fun.
Speaker 2: Like I didn't been facetiming him for hours and his
Speaker 2: sister is a part of the conversation. So I haven't
Speaker 2: met the sister, the mom, the dad, I think that's
Speaker 2: very special.
Speaker 1: And we haven't even had sex yet. Well crazy, speaking
Speaker 1: of sex, what comes after romance before we're romantically involved
Speaker 1: at the moment. So no, you're absolutely are.
Speaker 2: We're going to talk a little bit before we get
Speaker 2: out of here about the history of romance. So and
Speaker 2: we gonna stop treating this segment like home mail. We
Speaker 2: got to get here sooner, bitch, we're supposed to be educating.
Speaker 1: He said he was cooking, bitch. Okay, so yeah, come
Speaker 1: step one.
Speaker 2: Apes evolved the ability to become Here we go, We'm
Speaker 2: ely attached to it. We're doing evolution this, we said
Speaker 2: the history hope, oh lod attachment would eventually be known
Speaker 2: as love. It literally started from apes growing the ability
Speaker 2: to love, and through evolution kind of just turned into
Speaker 2: humans evolving. So the ability to become attached to someone
Speaker 2: is then loving each other because it helps you survive.
Speaker 2: I'm curious how they did the science on this, only
Speaker 2: because what we see throughout the entire animal kingdom is
Speaker 2: the bond of connection from ducks to lions to all
Speaker 2: the things with their offspring, right, So I'm curious to
Speaker 2: know how they identified their romantic love.
Speaker 1: The attachment is how they're describing it.
Speaker 2: Right, So they're saying they normally only notice that attachment
Speaker 2: right when there's offspring, so I don't know. They're saying
Speaker 2: being around each other spending time, Okay, that then becomes
Speaker 2: a bond.
Speaker 1: So the third thing, third step. As humans, we instinctively.
Speaker 2: Develop loyalty and affection for those who show us most
Speaker 2: loyalty and affection. And that's all love really is. It
Speaker 2: is an irrational degree of loyalty and in fact into
Speaker 2: another person. You agree with that to the point that
Speaker 2: we'd let ourselves harm or even die for that person
Speaker 2: seems insane, but it's symbiotic with what happens with humans.
Speaker 2: Conversations with humans that say I would do anything for you,
Speaker 2: well that's just a figure of speech. Yeah, but I
Speaker 2: think I wouldn't die, but yeah, I would definitely do.
Speaker 1: You would take a charge for someone you love, like
Speaker 1: when I hear people look at it space no, oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 2: And also, for example, let's make it small. Okay, what's small?
Speaker 2: Would you put a car in someone's name? Would you
Speaker 2: put you're different? You put your name on something that
Speaker 2: you know could cause you debt or go into something
Speaker 2: bad because you love.
Speaker 1: Some rich like that's literally sharing things like oh I
Speaker 1: got to that point a lot. That's marriage. To me,
Speaker 1: I've put no before marriage in words, you love someone
Speaker 1: before that.
Speaker 2: Two apartments baby and five at the same time to
Speaker 2: a mount my mama, and two brings a man that
Speaker 2: you were dating. We're not talking because you can love
Speaker 2: someone before marriage. Marriage is a whole nother that's my point.
Speaker 1: But friends that I point you, you would co sign
Speaker 1: something for a partner.
Speaker 2: I'm not a serious partner, yeah, okay, And I only
Speaker 2: say that because I've done it for a friend.
Speaker 1: God, so crazy, so fortunate that me and is nigga
Speaker 1: a hunt.
Speaker 2: It's so crazy because what I would do for friends
Speaker 2: is normally I mean, and I've talked about my my
Speaker 2: hierarchy of how I show up for people.
Speaker 1: It's friends family then than men.
Speaker 2: And the way I show it for friends is still
Speaker 2: quite different than what I right now think logically I
Speaker 2: could do and show it for a partner.
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's only because latonic love comes in.
Speaker 1: And so here's the platonic love is.
Speaker 2: The ancient Greek philosopher Plato argued that the highest form
Speaker 2: of love is actually non sexual yep. It is a
Speaker 2: non romantic or an attachment form to another person known
Speaker 2: as brotherly love, and reason that since passion and romance
Speaker 2: often make us do things we regret, the passionless love
Speaker 2: between two family members are close friend friends is a
Speaker 2: height of virtuous human experience. In fact, Plato, like most
Speaker 2: people in the ancient world, looked at romantic love with skepticism,
Speaker 2: if not horror, because with most things non sexual love,
Speaker 2: platonic love never meant that you took risk, and for
Speaker 2: most of human history, romantic love was looked at as
Speaker 2: a sickness bitch, I am, Plato, Yeah you are, I'm.
Speaker 1: About to read De Nikogat books and stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh well, look at the word question, I said, poor
Speaker 2: decision making from romantic love. The ancients were so skeptical
Speaker 2: of romantic love's utility, what is it useful for? So
Speaker 2: much so that many cultures treated it as an unfortunate
Speaker 2: disease that we'd have to get over in our lives.
Speaker 2: In fact, classic stories like uh Romeo and Juliet there
Speaker 2: weren't celebrations of love.
Speaker 1: There were warnings against negatives. It was bad love.
Speaker 2: For most of human history, people didn't marry because of
Speaker 2: their feelings one of each other. And it didn't stop
Speaker 2: with the Disney channel. This bitch gave up her voice
Speaker 2: for a niggah like, what else happened? What else happened
Speaker 2: in the Disney The voice was bro giving up your
Speaker 2: whole singlevoid. So for most of human history, for the majority,
Speaker 2: their sustenance and survival hung on by a thread. People
Speaker 2: didn't have very much of a large life expectance. Everything
Speaker 2: was done from survival. Marriage is arranged by families, families
Speaker 2: because for money, of money, wheat Barley helped during a flood,
Speaker 2: purely economic arrangements designed to promote survival and prosperity between
Speaker 2: the families. And so it's interesting about today's age. People
Speaker 2: are lasting longer in age because of love.
Speaker 1: No, that's not true. Maybe love with friendships again, brotherly
Speaker 1: love and community. I always talk about the.
Speaker 2: Type in one hundred on Netflix, the Centurion documentary People
Speaker 2: Living to one hundred.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there's the women say that they all they
Speaker 1: had gotten old, no matter where they didn't. They weren't
Speaker 1: in relationships. No, no, no, they last longer because of community.
Speaker 2: Oh community, yes, yes, yes, some of them I have
Speaker 2: husbands or what or they died or what I saw it,
Speaker 2: but like the community was the consistency and the walking
Speaker 2: everybody else some most some people gardened, a lot of
Speaker 2: people gardened.
Speaker 1: But the thing about community, I was like, damn.
Speaker 2: And what's sad is you know when people fall in love,
Speaker 2: what do they tend to do give up on their community.
Speaker 2: It's so crazy too, because that conversation is constantly had
Speaker 2: to when when people question why I don't want children.
Speaker 2: And it's funny because one of the number one things
Speaker 2: that if it's not legacy, it's well, who's going to
Speaker 2: take care of you when you're old? And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I said, it's so crazy because when you do look
Speaker 2: at a lot of people and I'm not talking about you,
Speaker 2: because clearly you're looking after your your older parents, but
Speaker 2: there's a lot of people that end up in nursing
Speaker 2: homes whose kids don't even come and see them, or
Speaker 2: they're in nursing homes.
Speaker 1: Because their kids were too busy to look after them.
Speaker 2: And it's and what's also crazy is there is a
Speaker 2: stat that men in nursing homes are more lonely than
Speaker 2: women because they don't have the friendships that women curate
Speaker 2: over their lifetimes. Women have a lot more friends. And
Speaker 2: I know we talk about like the girls that don't
Speaker 2: know how to have homegirls. There's way more community amongst women,
Speaker 2: and I think we've been able to see that even
Speaker 2: with the whore Hive than men have in terms of
Speaker 2: how they create bonds and friendships platonics.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy. Think about nursing homes.
Speaker 2: I remember, and literally you know, when someone does end
Speaker 2: up there, it's mainly if you have family to rely on,
Speaker 2: because they can't they hell and help.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I was seeing my grandma once and my mom
Speaker 2: was probably going three times a week and like making
Speaker 2: meals and stuff because you know, nursing home food sucks.
Speaker 2: And I was flying down to Orlando just to you know,
Speaker 2: keep in touch. There was a woman I saw on
Speaker 2: the other side. There was an Asian lady next to her,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, you must be
Speaker 2: her daughter.
Speaker 1: I've never met you. No no, noa. And so she's
Speaker 1: smiling this is true story, doesn't reply to me. I'm leaving.
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm not her family, but we are part
Speaker 2: of an outreach thing for people that don't get visitors.
Speaker 1: Oh wow. And she was also Chinese, not just Asian.
Speaker 1: China did the lady was Chinese, and she was Chinese.
Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, you know, I'll just speak in Mandarin
Speaker 2: and we'll talk and we'll or Sorry, the woman didn't talk.
Speaker 1: But she was like, it's just memories.
Speaker 2: Conversation can keep people alive long. You can just whole
Speaker 2: ladies literally, And so she said she gets paid to
Speaker 2: do this. Sometimes I'll just come if people can't get
Speaker 2: to their family, if they don't live in the same
Speaker 2: country city. She's like, there's some people that visited four
Speaker 2: times a week. But she said this was pro bono.
Speaker 2: She does it as volunteer work, and the nursing home
Speaker 2: will say, hey, these people need someone to connect with,
Speaker 2: et cetera.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, right, that's dope but also fucked up. That's dope.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie you about to have me go
Speaker 2: Google playto like I feel like this was a documentary,
Speaker 2: Like Robbie, like, ooh, let me.
Speaker 1: Go look more into this. Be give me a plato
Speaker 1: on the same type of time.
Speaker 2: Girl, All I want to do the lady love is first, Okay,
Speaker 2: if you want more horseshit. Since we're at the end
Speaker 2: and now we can curse check us out on Patreon
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Speaker 2: Plus if you upgrade to the next tier, you get
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Speaker 1: In video you've got Decisions oh radio, Yeah, yeah, we
Speaker 1: do a lot over there.
Speaker 2: And now we have a new tier where you can
Speaker 2: become a producer, so you'll be able to either let
Speaker 2: us know some of the sex history you want to
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Speaker 2: have a nickname or not, we'll shout you out and
Speaker 2: give you producer credit. But yeah, that's at Patreon dot
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Speaker 2: wherever you get your holes barred. It's a dual manifesto
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Speaker 1: We're digging deep and we are hopefully giving.
Speaker 2: You some insight on how to get in your journey. No,
Speaker 2: we get real deep in all the holes. It'll make
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Speaker 2: the things and guys, we will see you on Wednesday
Speaker 2: or next week.
Speaker 1: But we're around.
Speaker 2: We all got us three times a week now, Okay, like,
Speaker 2: oh my goodness, tree ways the three holes you can insert.
Speaker 1: Bye, okay bye